#*codependency

[thepeacefulgarden]

[youraveragebtsstan]

What If John AND Mary Know About ✨Wincest✨... 👀👀

~~~~~~~

Ok so, whenever I watch S14E13: Lebanon (and yes, I watch it often), I have this little headcanon about John and Mary discussing wincest off camera because, if we notice- they notice...

So, picture this:

Part of John's contention with Sam and Dean is due to the fact that he caught them in the act when they were younger. (Kissing, touching, sex- who the hell cares; point is, he caught them.) Listen, John is a smart man, he knew that he was failing as a parent but didn't reakize it was that bad. Obviously, being the macho man he is he tried to brush it under the rug and move on, but he always felt a little bothered by it. Sam and Dean obviously struggled as well, this leading to their own relationship fracturing when Sam heads off to college. They don't speak for a while, that is until S1E1 (yeah baby, that's where we come in.)

Now, boom 💥⏭️ Fast forward to S14E13 when John is transported into the future. He sees his boys all grown up and of course he sees the love of his life, Mary, alive and well. It's all sunshine and rainbows, happy happy days until the boys head off to work on that shopping list Mary drew up.

While the boys are gone, Mary confronts John about wincest because she's noticed their little nuances long ago but just hasn't had the heart to mention it. John explains what happened and claims he failed as a father. He claims life would have been different if he had been the one to die, not her. Mary eventually tells him that things happened for a reason, but he did the best he could.

Meanwhile, Sam and Dean return to the bunker only to find the world is crumbling around them. Sam contemplates keeping the family together even if it means forgetting what he and Dean have- Dean on the other hand doesn't want to change a thing. He's okay with the life he has, no matter how screwed up it may be and for whatever reason this gives Sam peace of mind he's always wanted.

The boys move on to have dinner as a family and make a memory they won't forget.

That's it. That's the plot... Just thought I'd share with the rest. Enjoy!

[crimeronan]

YES many dynamics have like 7 of these at once. but i'm in A Mood. tell me about ur faves and their awful bullshit.

[guiltyidealist]

Latest hobby: radical self-acceptance codependency affirmations

I like to use over-the-top edgy imagery to invoke the ~emo~ sentiments we associate with edge, juxtaposing the aggressively self-loving text. accentuates the punk nature of radical acceptance

[moonlit-positivity]

You don't need everyone to like you. I understand this can be an overwhelming trauma response to being neglected and otherwise hurt as a kid without the comfort and reassurance of our parents. But please try to remember that your worth is not dependent on how many people can love you. You have something much more important and worth protecting-- your heart and soul and mind and spirit. Not everyone you meet in this world is gonna resonate and vibe with you on those same levels. You've got to get comfortable with the concept of being misunderstood or feeling out of place-- and, rather than fawn to fit in, take that as a sign to find the spaces and people who can better appreciate you for it.

[loveyourlovelysoul]

If you grew up needing to keep everyone happy and content in order to avoid excessive negative reactions or behaviours, chances are you need to bring this habit also in the other relationships you join. So anytime the other person is feeling down, you may start stressing over what you can do to make them better, if it was your fault (you may think this even if it objectively isn't possible -eg. this person has had a bad day at work and you don't even work with them- cause you were often accused or blamed for everything in the past), and may stress them even more to get answers to your doubts.

If it happens, try to remind yourself that it's okay to have bad moments and to feel sad: it's part of life as much as feeling good and happy. It doesn't have to be your fault (and very likely it's not) and you don't have to be responsible for everyone's feelings. The person you're dealing with is just a person as you are, and they cannot always be happy and hyped, they do deal with stuff aside of your relationship too (not to say that even if it was something about the relationship, you still can give them space and the ability to process the situation at their own conditions). Let them know you're by their side if they need support or to talk or anything, and then let them deal with anything the way they rather. You don't have to make anything better for everyone, it's not on you. Sometimes people don't need to be saved by you and that's fine.

[f-zzysocks]

the self destructive urge to get into an abusive relationship

[bisexual-cryptid]

i need more codependent steve and robin.

steve and robin sitting on each other’s laps during movie night, sharing a thing of popcorn between the two of them

constantly holding each other’s hands while joking around with each other. robin will be endlessly making fun of steve all the while she is holding his hand in her own and refuses to separate.

steve complaining that he can’t get a date and doesn’t understand why, meanwhile robin is sitting on the counter at family video behind him, playing with his hair.

whenever they are saying goodbye they kiss each other on the cheek and say “i love you.”

they have a “date night” every week where they go to a diner and get food and share a milkshake.

eddie and nancy think they have absolutely no chance with steve and robin, respectively, because the two of them are clearly dating. when robin comes out to them their entire world feels like it flips on its head.

steve and robin being each other’s unintentional beard. they didn’t mean for it at first but everyone just assumed they were dating already so they stopped correcting people, letting them think what they want. (it makes robin’s relationship with nancy and steve’s with eddie comically easy to hide. no one looks twice when they are with them bc steve and robin are clearly together)

[hisbucky]

Eddie: I think we need some space. Buck, sadly: Yeah, a little space might do us some good. I don't want us to fight. Eddie, jaws clenched: Right. It's for the better. Buck: *gets off Eddie's lap, and sits on the other side of the couch.* Chimney, whispering: They do know that they're still holding hands, right? Hen: Shush, this is a big moment for them.

[thepeacefulgarden]

[she-is-ovarit]

The man several years older than you who calls you "more mature than your own age" is grooming you. The man who says you are "special" or "unique" is grooming you. The man who calls you an "old soul" is grooming you.

These are grooming phrases.

The man several years older than you who keeps circling back to "Gosh, I can't believe you're real! But are you sure you want this? I'm so much older than you!" when you're cuddling or making out is grooming you. He is asking you that question during intimate moments as a way to unconsciously manipulate you into denial and perhaps get you to reassure whatever guilt he has, if he has any. Asking this while showering you with affection is an attempt to bait and coerce you into saying yes. Whether done unconsciously or consciously, he is fulfilling an emotional need you have for love or protection while at the same time getting you to say out loud to yourself and to him that you want this in order to work your brain into ignoring any bad gut feeling or doubt you have, then or in the future.

That is grooming behavior.

I understand that you might not want this to be true, and that you feel pulled to him. I understand it might feel more parental or brotherly than it does sexual or romantic. But this is how grooming works in many, many cases. The attachment or relationship fulfills a psychological need or wound you had from a parent or a sibling. His behaviors might very well be fatherly or brotherly, and then over time those little interactions blur into something else that you can't quite make sense of but that you like.

That magnetic, psychological pull you feel is not a sign of healthy attachment or a healthy relationship. You can be groomed as a child, you can be groomed as a teen, you can be groomed as a 20 year old.

And, yes, this goes for lesbians, bisexuals, gay men too. I speak with heterosexual situations in mind because there is a depressing, astounding pattern of heterosexual men grooming women and girls younger than them. But I have encountered plenty of gay men and lesbians in horrible codependent relationships that they feel simultaneously both trapped in and glued to.

[okayestokapi]

"Love is work. And I’d like to see that in my fantasy a little bit. I think that’s a helpful thing to see, so we don’t all think, Oh, I’m gonna fall in love, and that will be it. I’ll meet my one. It’s like, 'No, motherfucker, love is work! And it’s hard! And then you do the work, and hopefully, it works out!'"

-David Jenkins, Polygon, 14 October 2023

Link to full interview here.

[guiltyidealist]

"I'm sorry I vented and took up your time with my bullshit" ❌

feeds abandonment fears, implies having needs and being helped with them are wrong, makes it all about you

"Thank you for being patient with me through that, I appreciate that you took the time" ✅

shows your gratitude, affirms your affinity, no "using up" anybody's effort, makes it about you both as equals

"I'm sorry I dumped without checking consent first. I need to act respectfully and ask for your permission before I vent" ✅

"I'm sorry I said x, that was inappropriate of me to put on you" ✅

"Was it okay when I said x the way I did?" ✅

"Would you like to place a boundary around that?" ✅

"What could I do/say instead that's healthier for us both?" ✅

correct an actual wrong, seize due accountability, consider their rights as much as yours, make amends, work to correct missteps going forward

[moonlit-positivity]

You don't need a reason to distance yourself from people. If they give you bad vibes then you deserve to honor that gut feeling and protect yourself. Even if they're not doing anything wrong or bad or even if they haven't done anything to you. You can just straight up not like someone, no context necessary. That's valid af and there's not enough emphasis on intuition and gut feelings. Yes, absolutely. Listen to your instincts.

[daughterofanarcissistwoman]

[beefcliff]

a little comic about codependency and napkins.