#coplayer drama

[sburbian-sage]

I have a coplayer who insists on listening to music when fighting.

He's not flow player or anything though, and it's not like, *magical* music or any of the music the game gives you, or part of his specibus, or anything like that.

It's just a normal ipod, playing normal songs, into his headphones.

Seems dangerous to me. Hard to hear an enemy behind you, or a teammate calling out, with music blaring in your ears...

I think the guy's under a lot of stress though. I kind of just wanna let him have it. I have brought it up with him once already, and he got pretty mad about being "micromanaged". I don't wanna push it and set him off over something so small...

Yeah, okay, writing this out made me realize it's not a big deal. Still gonna send it in, just in case you have any thoughts. If not about this, then maybe more generally where do YOU draw the line on what is or isn't enough of a problem to cause a fuss over?

It is an issue, but not an especially big one. You are right in that it presents a potential hazard, but you can compensate for this in other ways (such as gitting gud, or more practically just blasting the music normally, not like he's sneaking around). I feel like everyone's put on some headphones and queued up a playlist when it's time to get grinding at least once, I know I've done it. It beats monotonously clashing steel against flesh and developing PTSD over it.

The main issue is the teamwork one. If two or more players are fighting together, they're either doing a co-op dungeon or forging an Unbreakable Union. Dungeons are a situation where I would strongly discourage headphones or music (you might miss audio puzzles and sneaking is a really good option actually), and an Unbreakable Union where nobody ever talks to each other is kind of redundant, actually. Zoning other players out also happens to be a breach of etiquette, and the online top hat community is going to shame this man into the stratosphere.

As for where I draw the line, everyone is a weirdo with a few annoying quirks, and I think learning to adapt is both inevitable and a vital skill. If it seriously negatively affects you or the team, establish boundaries, make your concerns known, and maybe stage an intervention. The fact that he snapped over being told that the headphones might be a bad idea is more problematic to me than the headphones itself. It indicates a poor ability to handle stress or criticism, hostility towards team-mates looking out for you, and arrogance (which I know nothing about).

Otherwise, if it only hurts themselves or annoys you, learn to live with it. Take it to heart and know that you can be flawed too. Or play into their oddities to make your life easier. If you still want to co-op with this guy and he's still listening to music, don't lecture him about how it's dangerous to wear headphones and harms teamwork or whatever. Tell him that you're getting bored/need some stress relief as well, and that he's hogging the tunes to himself when he could be turning this into a jam session. That might work.

[bladekindeyewear]

Random Homestuck Discourse from a perceptive friend over Discord:

Übermensch Bodhisattva:  I read through the whole Ballet of the Dancestors today

And accidentally solved it

BlastYoBoots:  the... like that section of homestuck talking about, umwhich part of 'em? their post-scratch lives or

Übermensch Bodhisattva:  The Meenah Walk-arounds.

BlastYoBoots:  hm. elaborate?

Übermensch Bodhisattva:  Okay so first thing's first: Act 6 is really divided into four quarters: Acts 1 through 3 form the first quarter, up to Caliborn Enter, and is the section where, much like Homestuck's first three Acts, the Board is unfolded, and the pieces are set.

We meet the Alpha Kids and get our intro to them, their Dynamics, and the way their game works.I don't want to get into the final two quarters right now, just the second quarter.

The Ballet of the Dancestors is in fact the Thematic foundation of Act 6 "quarter 2" and actually lays important foundational ground for all of Act 6 as a result.

If there is one overwhelming theme present in the Ballet it is the way in which we MUST critically examine stories and histories or else we will stagnate toxically.

And that is a central theme to Act 6 in general, and arguably, Homestuck as a whole.

So like, we see the Thematic framework for the Beta Kids' relationship with the Alpha kids foreshadowed in the way Karkat, Kanaya, and Terezi deal with their respective Dancestors.

Their relationship with their counterparts is a microcosm of the difficulty the Beta Kids (particularly Dave and Rose) have stemming from a feeling of inadequacy they have because of unexamined ideas about their guardians/ancestors/forebears.

And Karkat's little motivation speech to Terezi in part 2 of Meenah's walk-around adventure serves as a kind of in-story recognition of this moral; you're never living in anyone's shadow unless you decide to do that, you always get to be your own person as long as you don't make an idol a stumbling block to you.

Meanwhile, we see in the quartet of Meenah, Rufioh, Horuss, and Damara a relational/mechanical foreshadowing of the exact relationship Drama that would make emotional progress impossible for the Alpha Kids.

With Dirk and Horuss being parallels (and foreshadowing the way in which Dirk is going to be a wretchedly bad partner for Jake because he's self absorbed and primarily uses others as a canvas for his own expansion and self improvement.)

BlastYoBoots:  mhmm

Übermensch Bodhisattva:  Damara's revolt against her coplayers foreshadows the way in which Jane's jealous spite will make her ripe for manipulation by the Condesce

BlastYoBoots:  or her frustrated sense of inferiority too, kinda a mix

Übermensch Bodhisattva:  And just like Jake, Rufioh's charisma and bravado are a shallow front for a person who is spineless in terms of relationships and in terms of adventuring.Well, that's not fair to JakeI decided today that Jake doesn't get enough sympathy, the narrator does him dirty.

BlastYoBoots:  quite literally, yes

Übermensch Bodhisattva:  He had it as bad as any of the trolls and nobody shows him an ounce of compassion.

Fuck Dirk, Jake's awesome.

BlastYoBoots:  he's getting a damn good showing in hs^2, really

Übermensch Bodhisattva:  I love that screwball.

BlastYoBoots:  bonus material too

Übermensch Bodhisattva:  And uh, he needs to officially be PTSD representation what the fuck is up with What Pumpkin not addressing Jake's Trauma at all.

Jake obviously has PTSD.

A hundo percent.

Anyway I got distracted, cause I have one more point, a realization of a subtle thematic reflection that I missed

Meenah and Roxy are each others' foils.They are thematically and narratively parallel, and while they are archenemies, there is a platonically ideal sense in which they are estranged sisters.

Like Jasper and Amethyst, if you will.

BlastYoBoots:  that's a pretty good breakdown, better articulated than most of us might've half-felt playing through it  (edit: and re. jake ptsd he’s not the only one, and the story’s been pretty blatant about that imo)

you should post that on a blog somewhere

like mine

may i?

Übermensch Bodhisattva:  You may! I'll expand on my thoughts on Meenah and Roxy's relationship as foils later, probably after finishing, honestly.

BlastYoBoots:  #Random Homestuck Discordse

Übermensch Bodhisattva:  Not random at all!

I've been sort of like

Analyzing and theorycrafting my way through Homestuck

As I do my fourth read-through

And like taking note of bits and bobs I missed on my first read-through, but mostly doing overarching thematic and mechanical analyses.

One thing I've been really vindicated on is my analysis of Rose as the primary human antagonist of the first half of the story, contrasted against Vriska, who is of course the primary troll antagonist. Both anti-heroes

Both dangerous, reckless loose-canon variables who while critical to ensuring the validation of the timeline, both cause untold woe because of their rapacious grasping for agency and relevance.

BlastYoBoots:  (I forgot to mention like, when you brought up PTSD, plenty of the kids lowkey or highkey have it)

Übermensch Bodhisattva:  Both manipulated by Scratch directly

Both beloved of Kanaya

Who by the way

BlastYoBoots:  (John, Dave-- I even hoped Jade was free of it and was proven wrong by the epilogues)

Übermensch Bodhisattva:  Directly compares Rose to Vriska.

BlastYoBoots:  (even though it was obvious)

--yeah, it makes some sense

in a story about escaping Canon and relevance, it's the Light players who dig them deeper in instead

dammit i have to include this part too, more editing

Discord is a fucking bitch to paste from

[krysal-tepsyr]

give us ur lore pls

I’m flattered that you’d love to know more about me. I’ll give a brief summary on what’s happened to me so far; if you want specifics, feel free to ask more questions.I am Krysal Tepsyr, a yellowblood ametrine Nitarian. I am a Lord of Time.I began in Session 1417. A 14 player session, one player who should’ve never played SBURB, one player who was a Grace. Two Space players, one of them being said Grace. It was a mess. Many of my coplayers were incompetent and would get caught up in some drama, some task, something or another, distracting them from completing their Land. I, on the other hand, completed my Land Quest very quickly.During my downtime post-quest (and post-Godtier,) I began discovering these strange signals, coming from another session. Or... sessions. It’s still unclear. I began investigating. This begins my journey to here.I became tired of waiting for my sessionmates and made a plan to escape, going through a Fourth Wall, or “Fenestrated Plane” in SBURBisms, and finding myself, surprisingly, in one of the Lands I had already explored so much of. LOHAE. Shenanigans ensue, I don’t need to bore you with the details, I end up in the Wiggling Caverns. I hide as Meluna for a while until I realize I don’t need to because there’s a damn Denizen raising grubs down here. I meet RoboLoops, talk conspiracies, and then I began this blog.Eventually... well... I’m in 204 now. I think you know how I got here, and if you don’t, well... I’d suggest looking into the session as a whole. @sessionlogs204 is a good place to look around if you want to see how damn CHAOTIC this thing is. And I think there are some panels in LORAS which will help you.Again, this is as abridged as I can make my story while still giving you some new info. Though, if you REALLY want to learn a bit more about me...I think you should go digging into the metadata. I think some of my old logs got tacked in there somewhere. ;)Can I guide you through this? No. But I will give you a hint.Open up the PodCast engine.Anyway, if you have any more questions, feel free to send them in, I’ll answer what I feel can be answered and if I don’t have a direct answer for you I’ll gigglesnort you to the right location!-Krysal Tepsyr, LOFAC, Session 204

[mm-society-women]

a headcanon where MC has a really popular vlog channel, like she have 6+ million subs and MC has had the channel for 5 years, like her channel is her main job, and the rfa+v+saeran are caught watching her old videos because they wanted to see what she did and how she was back when they didn't know her. In the end they probably become part of her vlogging? Thanks! :D

Thank you for the ask! It’s really specific tho … are you a vlogger yourself? I don’t exactly know what vlogs actually are?? I’m sorry but but college is REALLY stressful for me and I don’t have time for anything. I’m gonna assume that they are targeted towards a specific audience….

Yoosung and the prankster

- Your vlogs are what shitposts would look like in video

- Always making funny comments, jokes, meme references and pranks

-You do these small skits too

-Yoosung had already seen some of your videos

-So when he first met you, he had a nagging feeling he had seen you somewhere before

-When he knew that vlogging was your profession, he just had to check it out

-He always knew you were very smart and funny but those videos were just amazing. He couldn’t believe how you wrote and acted those things out yourself

- His girlfriend was amazing, beautiful, smart and…. cue shot of you with a pencil stuck up your nose SO DAMN RIDICULOUS

- He laughed so hard he had to clutch his sides and strain to just breathe

-That;s when you walked in

- “Yoosung…. WHAT THE HECK,” you shouted. Isn;t that the correct response when your boyfriend is just rolling on the floor, laughing maniacally with tears streaming down his face?

- “MC! MC!” he said struggling to hold his breath, “Why didn’t you show these to me before!! You’re so talented and funny.” He waked over to you and kissed you on the lips.

- “You bet… I didn;t get all those subscribers for nothing,” you grin

- So you two ended up getting drunk and watching your videos all night. 

- And ya’all had a deadly hangover the morning after    

- But you were determined to make him appear in one of your videos. 

- He did occasionally appear. Yoosung was adorable a nervous wreck  in those videos and so people started requesting videos with him

- Besides it was so much fun showing off your cute boyfriend

Zen and the reviewer   

- So you were the reviewer

- So smart, sophisticated and clever

- Always reviewing movies, books and sometimes even anime we are all only human, right? 

- You were really clever, detail oriented and organised. 

- You first did this as a hobby but since it really took off, you decided to make this your main job

- When you got home one day, you saw zen intently watching something on the laptop

- He was so engrossed in it that he didnt even seeing you coming

- “Sweetie, what are you doing ?” you asked

- “Gosh! Babe, you scared me!” he said as he clutched his chest. Drama Queen much?

 - You learnt that he was actually watching your videos the entire evening

- “WHY DIDN’T YOU TELL ME BABE??” he asked, “You’re so good at this!! And you have so many subscribers!!”

- “I’m not as popular as you!!” you protested as you sat next to him. He kissed your cheek. 

- He whined a little and proceeded to click the next video

- “My boyfriend Zen;s new movie is amazing,” you proclaimed in the video, “You guys should check it out. He’s such talented actor….” 

- You proceeded to praise Zen in the video. Something you dare not do to his face. You;re a real tsundere… I’ll give you that

- “I mean…. you were pretty good in the movie Zen…” you gave him a little fake laugh. God… that was so embarrassing 

- “ Babe…” zen said as he flung the laptop. 

- Before you could protest, he cupped your face in his hands and kissed you wildly.

- His hands slid under your shirt. “Why don’t we take this to the bedroom?” you suggested. He smirked.  

- The beast was unleashed. 

- So the first video you did with zen was such a hit! Your subscriber count went up!! And you had so many requests!! A lot of people started watching Zen’s movies too. The two of you really had such a positive impact on each others career and life

Jaehee and the coplayer

- You were a cosplayer

- Not unlike Jaehee, you were such a big fangirl too

- You cosplayed everything from anime, manga, video games to comic books

- You’ve never ever missed a convention

- Jaehee being the loving and caring wife that she is, was always the first person to watch your videos and anonymously comment good things about it and anonymously take down the bullies too 

- She enjoyed watching you stitch, wear your perfect makeup and just transform yourself. 

- Sometimes, when you’re in cosplay, she can barely recognise you but she never admits it

- Jaehee helped you make the vidoes. But it never struck you to make her a part of it

- But one day you had this really good idea!

-There was this really big convention coming up and what better way to introduce her to your friends??? 

- “Sailor Uranus and Neptune!” you proclaimed, “That’s what we should go as!”

- “I’m sorry but WE??” Jaehee dropped the cup she was holding. 

- “Yes! Jaehee my darling” you did a dramatic twirl, “You must accompany me!”

- It took a lot of coaxing but she finally agreed

- And boy did you transform her 

- She couldn’t believe she looked like that.

- You always caught her catching glimpses at herself in the mirror

- By God, she was cute. 

- “Thank you, MC,” she smiled as she kissed you really softly on your lips.

- Your beast= unleashed.

- All throughout the convention, you took videos of your wife.  

- Jaehee never knew about this

–When you finally posted the video, it was such a hit!!!  People were going crazy over you and your wife! They requested a lot of videos with her. 

-When Jaehee came to know about this, she blushed beet red. 

- “Mc!! Stop embarrassing me like this,” she cried as she covered her face.

- Now you can finally unleash that beast in peace

Jumin and the musician  

- Jumin Han is a sophisticated man

- And you;re such a sophisticated girl

- You play the violin, the piano, the flute….. name any instrument and you could play it 

-You wanted to work for an orchestra but since your channel took off, you decided to make vlogging your main job

- Why not? YOu really enjoyed the freedom

- You would play anything you wanted. From complicated classical pieces to the openings of really cheesy tv shows

-You would always play something for jumin

- He preferred listen to you live than over the internet

- He really loved how your fingers moved and just how focused you were

- To him, just to see you and listen to your music was such a stress buster

- One day when Jumin found free time, he decided to check out your channel in his office

- He literally hit himself for not having seen your videos before.

- You were just as wonderful on the computer

- When you came over to give him his lunch, you were in for a shock

- Jumin was listening to an original piece by you while a drop of tear streamed down his face. He wiped it off immediately when he saw you

- “Are you one of those single tear people,” you laughed and walked over to him. Whiplash reference  which jumin did not understand T_T

- “Mc…” said as he literally pounced over you. He started to kiss your neck and tried to undo your zipper. 

- “Woah wait, Mr. Han! What is this about?”

- “I’m sorry Ive never seen your videos before,” he said, “You are so amazingly talented MC.”

- “If you want to make it up to me Jumin… then I know just the thing.”

- Needless to say, the great Jumin Han had to clear his schedule so that he could appear in one of your videos 

- And of course your comments section was filled with different variants of “ MC ARE YOU DATING THE JUMIN HAN?”

Seven and the makeup guru

- You are the Queen. bows down to you

- Your makeup is always on point. Please teach me how to do eyebrows Y_Y

- You started doing these makeup tutorials in college

- You got really popular and thought… heck why not get paid for this

- Seven is obsessed with your videos. BOI HAS SEEN ALL OF IT

- The both of you literally stay home most of the time

- Seven loves watching you do makeup

- He gives this really cute commentary when you do it

- “AND SHE SCORES” he’d scream when youre done

- He;s actually really fashionable himself

- “ MC I think you should go with ruby woo for this”

- “Shaddup seven”

- And whenever someone makes fun of you in the comments, he has no mercy.

- YOu never knew about this. But you were pretty suspicious cause the amount of hate went down? Boi never deleted all of it, he was clever like that

- You did the ‘entire face with kids makeup challenge’ on him… while he was asleep

- He never forgave you for that….. secretly he loved it

- He tries on your makeup when you’re not there

V and the food and culture blogger

- You love travelling

-And you have this really wholesome food and culture vlog

- After all that mint eye mess, he’s not dead I promise Y_Y you guys decided to travel the world

- Your vlog was restricted to your country and ever since the world tour the subscriber count went up

- You would do these vlogs where you’d describe the scenery to V

- It was so tastefully worded

- You guys visited usual places, interacted with the most interesting people and the food…. by God it was good

- And V, being the romantic that he is, would say something once in a while that absolutely floored you

- “GOD! V, The scenery is so beautiful”

- “Is it as beautiful as you?” he’d ask as he kissed your forehead

- All in all, it became fluff overload

- V became your permanent partner in this

- You guys had so much fun doing this that it did not really feel like a job

Saeran and the gamer

- You’d do gaming vlogs….. I’ve never seen one in my entire life… and Ive only heard of pewdiepie so no hate pls

- Saeran doesnt play games…… except in the bedroom of course

- He doesnt get why you’re so obsessed

- But he still obsessively watches all your videos…. he’s a complicated boi

- He always reads ALL the comments

- Let’s just say that he’s ruined some lives

- You’ve never gotten a negative comment after he came into your life??

- You asked Saeran to stop but he’s always feigned ignorance 

- You know Saeran watches your videos but he pretends he does not

- He always gives that tiny little cute smile when he watches your videos…. and you know this cause you’re a stalker like that 

- Always says stupid things like “MC, I wonder what those fingers can do??”

- Aaaand you smack him on the head for it 

[sburbian-sage]

There's a lot of talk about what aspects go together. It's easy to find discussion on the replayernet about how like, Breath and Blood players can cover each other's weaknesses.

But, I don't understand what to do when it's the opposite? I'm a Guide of Blood, we also have a Rogue of Breath, and it does NOT feel like we're working well together, it feels like we're negating each other.

In fact, it seems like a running theme of the session:

The Prince of Rage, Seer of Light, and our Scout of Time, all seem incapable of using their powers in a way that doesn't freak our Knight of Hope the fuck out. Meanwhile, the Knight's Hope powers keep accidentally lashing out and calming down the Prince too much, and messing with the Seer's visions.

Our Maid of Space I think already had OCD or something and it seems like it's being exacerbated by her title, and she basically CAN'T fight in the presence of our Mage of Sand, she just can't deal with the sand all over the place, can't stand not being able to tell what her ally is doing, can't deal with the battlefield changing in unpredictable ways, etc. She hates the Prince of Rage and Scout of Time as well, their fighting styles are too chaotic for her.

Meanwhile, our Sand player isn't happy, because our Seer of Light and our Sylph of Law both are basically totally incapable of letting dishonesty or rulebreaking slide even a little.

And of course they all blame me for the lack of cohesion, because I'm the Guide of Blood, so I'm apparently supposed to have all the fucking answers. And it's not like I'm not trying, but I feel less like I'm playing team therapist, and more like I'm playing fucking DIPLOMAT to stop these people from tearing each other apart. There's only so much I can do!!!

And the players that do get along are worrying as well. I'm concerned that it's going to result in the group splitting into two opposed "teams". The Prince, Scout, Rogue, and Mage, in "team chaos" versus the Maid, Sylph, Seer, Knight, and me, in "team order", or something asinine like that.

I did have one idea, as I was writing this though... maybe I should stop trying? Let the Rogue of Breath do what they can to drive everyone apart, have everybody do as much as they can independently, only reconvening when absolutely necessary? It might get around the factionalizing issue...

That feels like the message the game is sending me. That these people aren't meant to work together, and the ones that could, shouldn't. But is that just my frustration talking, making me want to give up, when I just need to try harder...? I can't tell...

I'm gonna be real, "our Titles are incompatible and it's bothering us" is a semi-common thing, but the worst I've ever seen was stuff like "I'm a Flow player and the Rhyme player keeps accidentally extinguishing stuff" or "I'm trying to use a scrying ability and I want to eat the Void player's organs because every time I do a headcount it's like solving a middle school logic puzzle". But I don't think that's what's going on here, most of you guys just suck. I don't know what a Prince of Rage/Seer of Light/Scout of Time could do that would make a Knight of Hope freak out unless said Knight is a ninny of some sort, and I'm pretty sure "not being influenced by others unless you will it" is literally the Rage player's job. Law players are often hardasses but "I'm going to scream at you for doing the thing your Aspect requires you do" is a bit beyond the pale, and the Seer of Light has literally no business getting up in the Sand player's grill. And I don't know why "fighting style is too chaotic" is supposed to even mean. Does the Maid of Space just want their coplayers to stand still and swing their weapons when it's their turn, like some sort of JRPG?

I do agree that it's probably for the best that everyone split up and cool their heads, and that the forming of "teams" will be actively deleterious for the session. Sometimes "teams" are a good thing, but it should be a strategic decision, anything else just results in clique behavior and self-defeating rivalries. You're a Guide of Blood, so I think you've gotta get in there and actually play therapist, vis a vis "making people realize that they're being entirely unreasonable and should maybe put aside some of their weird gripes". You are a Guide, so don't handhold them, instead you've gotta help them reach the proper conclusions on their own. Like making them realize "oh wait, I'm in the wrong here". You might actually be able to synergize with the Rogue of Breath here. Let them form "Team Order" and "Team Chaos" because they think it's that the other guys are too unreasonable, but they're all cool and can agree with each other. Then let the Rogue of Breath spread dissent and let them realize that no, actually, the team system doesn't work, these guys are assholes too. Once you've hit the "everyone but me is stupid" phase, you become a bit more amenable to maybe thinking that it's you who has issues and needs to do some reaching out and understanding.

The "Rogue of Breath divides, Guide of Blood conquers" thing should also be taken as an example that while Titles might broadly conflict with another Title, you can almost always find some synergy, even if it takes the form of letting someone "open up" an issue, and stepping aside so someone else can perform the finisher. Two cooks can indeed work together to make an amazing meal, even if they maybe shouldn't be standing in the same kitchen.

[sburbian-sage]

Is it just me, or is there something actually fucking WRONG with the Joy aspect?

I've only ever had two coplayers who had it, and they gave me majorly freaky vibes.

One of them was a Knight of Joy, and I think he was having a full-blown anxiety attack every single combat? Like, it was part of his arsenal, made him stronger, also made him scream in terror basically the whole time. Ended every fight hyperventilating. Never got to know him that well, but the few conversations we did have were unbearable. Just this horrible feeling welling up inside me the entire time- and the guy CLEARLY NOTICING and trying to stop it, while denying that he was causing it. Everything he said made me feel worse and worse even though it was all technically innocuous.

Other guy was worse. Different session, Mage of Joy. Man, I thought laughing constantly was just a Rain player thing. No. Hell no. Sometimes I think I still hear him and basically flip the fuck out.

One time he snuck into my house and the laughter made me wake up and I saw him standing there giggling and staring at me in the dark and I will never ever forget how he "forgave" me for waking up and ruining his "funny prank" (still not sure what exactly the prank was supposed to be...). And when I started yelling at him and asking why he was being such a creep he said that it was okay because he had "already been forgiven".

I cannot stress enough how that was just one thing out of way too many to list. Every fucking day with this guy he'd do or say something fucked up like that, but thinking about this is making me feel ill so I'm gonna stop.

Point is... Got another Joy player in my current session. Bard of Joy. I feel like those first two guys might have been weird outliers, and this guy seems more normal SO FAR, but I'm just really really scared to talk to him much. Can you tell me if my experiences before were unusual, or any general advice on how to deal with Joy players?

Yeah, I know what you mean. Joy embodies laughter AND fear so you get a lot of types who start roleplaying as The Jonkler. To be fair, it is working considering how scared shitless you were, and how I'm laughing about it, but the point remains. I think the "thematic meaning" of their Aspect is dark comedy or bathos? Obviously "laughter and fear" sums up a lot of dark jokes or "I can't tell if I'm supposed to be laughing" moments, but I can see how the "redemption" angle can play in here. You can watch a movie and some grotesquely horrific stuff will go down, but if it's funny and horrific, that makes it a lot easier to watch. Similarly, completely ridiculous shenanigans with no obvious point to them suddenly "pay off" when it turns out there was a point (advancing the story, dramatic reveals, etc).

As far as the Knight of Joy goes, I can kinda see what they're doing, but I also think they're missing the point. I see Rage players do the same thing, where they try to get really mad during a fight, so they can be "empowered by Rage". Even though that's not what that means, Rage is about authority and external control and it only elementally manifests as yelling. Feeling afraid while fighting technically works, but there's more efficient methods. Not "fighting while laughing your head off", which might be scarier, but maybe fighting in a way that engenders feelings of fear and laughter? Just saying.

As far as the Bard of Joy, you either just got a burst of really really good luck or really really bad luck. They could invite the destruction of fear, thus putting an end to the constant creep factor you've been experiencing. Or they could invite destruction through fear, thus becoming Literally The Chuckler. In fact, passively destroying fear might actually lead to the creation of fear if it turns out "fear" includes self-preservation instincts or social tact. And worst of all, they could passively invite the destruction of laughter and comedy, thus making everything boring! Truly the worst outcome, more terrible than people with uncertain intentions breaking into your room at night.

No matter how you slice it, the best way to "deal with" people like this is to... Talk to them? Maybe bring up "hey I've had some bad experiences with Joy players who seemed to get a kick out of deliberately antagonizing me, I understand our Classpects make us do stuff we dislike but maybe we could work something out so we're cool with each other"? Don't come across like you're judging them for nothing but rolling their Title, it's really annoying when people get presumptuous over RNG (Life players who immediately got treated like Team Mommy who has to fix everyone's boo-boos and take care of them and tousle their hair while calling them your little pogchamp, back me up on this). But people with the "scarier" Aspects tend to understand the reservations people have, which is why they establish boundaries like "only do the Heart Thing on me with permission or if I'm in a critical state" or "if you use your Rage powers to win an argument with me I will kick you between the legs so hard the Genesis Frog will feel it".

[sburbian-sage]

As the one who started your interspecies romance ponderings i DO want to clarify one more thing. I was involved in the session's ONLY blackrom confusion but there have been THREE moirail incidents. I suspect accidental interspecies blackrom is getting overrepresented through sheer drama bullshit- a moirallegiance gone horribly wrong is typically a ticking time bomb, while a kismesissitude gone horribly wrong is more of a nuke.

Oh, speaking of drama, I've found someone nearly as insufferable as the human AND capable of reciprocation. Is there a way to redirect the sburb meteors at someone's Land or do I have to settle for plain old rocks chucked through the atmosphere?

Oh gog. I've been around Trolls long enough to know the difference between a regular friendship and a Moirallegience (it's mostly about pacifying more dangerous partners/being pacified by less dangerous partners because you're just So God Damn Angry, but there is still affection and friendship in there), but I could see Humans accidentally veering into that territory. Especially if the "friendship" takes the form of the Human trying to get the Troll to chill out, which could be read as aforementioned pacification. I imagine the Human will get weirded out when they discover they've been pale-romming someone and they'll say something stupid like "all troll friendships are romance, wtf" and the Troll gets mad because they were getting catfished or something. We really need to get people educated on this shit.

And yeah, you will have to settle for regular rocks. The Veil meteors are all destined to jettison towards the Battlefield, which will in turn be redirected towards your homeworld in the past, thus initiating Entry. If you try to redirect those meteors towards other ends, it could cause a paradox. To say nothing of the Meteor Labs, which are critical to the game (and even when you're done with them, keep them around because they're perpetually useful). There are meteors which are neither labs nor part of the Reckoning, but good luck finding them.

[sburbian-sage]

Holy shit how did none of us think to try reusing the server disc. Getting another server worked, looks like the dickhead doesn't care enough to put any EFFORT into sabotaging me cause he didn't revert it or anything. Still hate the fact that someone else is in control of my hive but apparently having someone cooperative in control of my hive is the best I can hope for so thanks for getting me to that point.

And yeah, don't worry, I don't expect relationship advice from you off something as vague as 'co-player said I was mean help plz'. For context tho it's less of an in the wrong/in the right situation and more like, hate at first sight, ignorant alien bumbles his way into the social cues of blackflirting long enough to throw me off, etc. But thanks to the double server thing we never have to acknowledge each other's existence again so that problem's solved!

Glad to hear. And apologies for the snippy last response. I brought up snickers in an earlier post and the realization that I've been eating potatos and rice and other staple crops with nothing else to supplement it unironically made me mad, and I was in fact not myself when I was hungry (for food that tastes differently than what I've been eating for the past month).

On Human/Troll culture shock and other social faux pas, maybe it's just me but whenever I hear about these horror stories, "Human accidentally engages in caliginous flirtation and it causes issues" is weirdly recurring. Not even in a "if I had a Build Grist for every time that happened, I'd be able to alchemize one Perfectly Generic Object, which isn't a lot but it's weird that it happened twice" way, this is genuinely endemic. I don't know why this keeps happening. I was about to say "this never happened to me" but apparently that one Cherub chick walked away feeling spadesy? But that guy might have just been joking and she does genuinely want to kill me. Maybe it's a praying mantis thing.

I was about to say "I'm glad everything's cleared up but you might want to try settling things because who knows when you need to collaborate again", but I'm honestly now more invested in this phenomenon and how we could stop "accidental romantic rivalry Political Incidents" from happening.

[sburbian-sage]

This is gonna sound really fucking callous but is there some kind of cross-session support group I could recommend my coplayers so they can dump their emotional baggage somewhere that isn't my DMs? Don't get me wrong, I understand that the apocalypse is traumatic and all of them are as new to this as me, but for some fucking reason every time they feel bad they just bust down my metaphorical door expecting emotional support and like, I've got my own shit to repress.

There are literally hundreds of online groups, forums, and channels meant specifically for this. Practice internet safety, don't say anything that compromises your safety, and especially avoid whackjobs who will use your trauma for blackmail. But it's entirely reasonable to not want to play therapist 24/7. Speaking from personal experience.

Psybuffs are another reasonable solution, but people tend to get really offended when they're sad and your first response is "time to paint the smileys on your soul". People trash on psybuffs too hard, but I do understand the desire to not over-rely on, or use them as the first line of psychological defense.

[sburbian-sage]

do YOU KNOW WHAT i think? i think YOU ARE THE MOST ARROGANT PERSON i’ve ever MET, EVEN MORE SO THAN MY BROTHER.

i’m cruel TO YOU BECAUSE OF THE REASON i outlined IN MY FIRST MESSAGE: YOU HAVE RUINED MULTIPLE SESSIONS FOR ME, BECAUSE YOU INVOLVED YOURSELF IN A SITUATION YOU DIDN’T UNDERSTAND.

i don’t BOTHER TO EXPLAIN MYSELF WHEN i mention THINGS LIKE FAMILIAR THEORY, BECAUSE i was ONCE A witch. my WORD ON THE TOPIC SHOULD COUNT FOR SOMETHING INHERENTLY.

in THAT SAME VEIN, YOU ONLY SAY THE THINGS YOU DO BECAUSE OF TWO REASONS: YOU THINK THE GAME CANNOT BE ESCAPED, AND YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND HOW CHERUBS WORK.

you CAN’T UNDERSTAND HOW THIS FEELS. i’ve spent MY ENTIRE LIFE AS PART OF THIS FOOL. i know EVERYTHING THERE IS TO KNOW ABOUT HIM, AND HAVE DECIDED THAT i despise ALL OF IT. this IS HOW IT ALWAYS IS FOR CHERUBS, AND HE IS SIMPLY LYING WHEN HE SAYS ANYTHING ELSE.

the REASON HE WANTS TO “WORK TOGETHER”, IS BECAUSE IT WILL WEAKEN ME. when A CHERUB REACHES MATURITY AND PREDOMINATES OVER THEIR OTHER HALF, IT COMES DOWN TO FORCE OF PERSONALITY.

if i let UP ON HIM, THEN WHEN i finally ESCAPE, HE WILL PREDOMINATE OVER ME, AND i will DIE PERMANENTLY. i cannot RELAX. i cannot “MATURE”. i cannot ALLOW HIM TO GET A LEG UP ON ME.

the most i could DO IS PLAY ALONG, PRETENDING TO AGREE WITH HIM. not ONLY IS THE THOUGHT OF SUCH DISHONESTY AND SUBMISSIVENESS ABSOLUTELY DISGUSTING, BUT IT WOULD ALSO LEAVE ME OPEN TO FURTHER MANIPULATION.

not BECAUSE OF HIS rage POWERS (he doesn’t fucking have them, he’s an heir of doom this session, pay attention to the things i say you ignoramus!!! and WHILE I’M AT IT, i don’t KNOW WHERE YOU GOT 3-4 YEARS FROM, i said OUR FIRST SESSION ONLY ENDED A YEAR AGO, THEY’VE BEEN SHORT), BUT BECAUSE IT’S WHAT HE HAS always DONE.

we DIDN’T SPEND OUR ENTIRE LIVES IN THIS GAME. he’s ALWAYS BEEN ANGLING TO WEAKEN ME, TO GET ME TO MAKE COMPROMISES, BECAUSE THAT WAS WHAT HE HAD TO DO TO SURVIVE. and BECAUSE WE WILL ONE DAY ESCAPE, NOTHING HAS TRULY CHANGED. i will NOT GIVE UP MY ADULTHOOD, MY INDEPENDENCE, THAT i have FOUGHT SO HARD MY ENTIRE LIFE TO ACHIEVE.

you ARE ASKING ME TO EXTEND TRUST TO SOMEONE WHO WAS BORN TO KILL ME.

i just WANT TO rest. i want to sleep knowing my body does not move without my consent. i want TO KNOW THAT WHEN i wake UP, THE FRIENDSHIPS i have BUILT WILL NOT BE destroyed! i want MY COPLAYERS TO TAKE MY SIDE, BECAUSE THEY LIKE ME MORE, BECAUSE i deserve TO BE LIKED BECAUSE i’m upfront ABOUT MY INTENTIONS AND WILL PROTECT EVERYONE IN MY TERRITORY WITH MY LIFE WHEN I’M AN ADULT AND BECAUSE AND BECAUSE i try SO HARD TO CARE FOR THEM AND i deserve TO HAVE BEEN BOR N AS SOMETHING ELSE AND i hate YOU i hatre HATE hat hea t hjate hate hate hate hate you i hate you i hate you i

*cacologyCataphasis’s computer ceased functioning. This message was sent automatically to prevent loss of data, but may be incomplete. This can be disabled on their end in the advanced Nemesis browser settings.*

Oops, looks like someone's browser had a stupid setting that rendered their use of the anonymous function redundant. For what it's worth though, I do want to make it clear up-front that if I discover any of my followers start doing weird harass-y shit with your handle, I am going to turn my Ringship around, drive directly into their session, and take them and their entire house with me.

In any case, you're tragically dense, and it seems it's purposeful. I could point out how I obviously meant 3-4 *session* losing streak, and and now getting ragged on for a typo (or for assuming that a session takes roughly a year to complete, which is average from what I can tell). Or how I obviously was asking if you thought he sent me a Rage-encoded ask, *while he was a Rage player*. Or the fact that you yelling yourself into a computer crash about how you can't let yourself mature is an act beyond parody. But the biggest misconception here is that you can escape the game or become an adult.

You're communicating to me on the replayernet. Please think about the implications for a minute, or what reason your coplayers could have for always looking like they're teenagers despite having been at the game for years. I'll even let you know, some sessions have lasted so long that people who began playing at 16 reached their 20s, but no session lasts forever, and once they step through the door they're back to puberty. I've done my research on Cherubs when I had the downtime, and even putting aside the constant resets to your body, do you really think you can fly away to a distant star when the entire Incipisphere is surrounded by Others that grab and eat players like breakfast? Unless you intend to fight through an entire galaxy of Others, until you eventually find... The only thing out there is other sessions, and that's where I'm hopefully drifting towards, ever slowly.

I said it before, but give it up. You couldn't persuade your way out of a paper bag. You've failed to substantiate your brother being worse than you outside of variations on "trust me you idiot". You'll never have a body of your own because your (physical) maturation is stunted by the game, and you're too worried about what it'll do to you if you kill him in his dreamsleep. Your behavior not only doesn't endear you towards your coplayers (nice job handing your brother ammo btw), but you accidentally leaked your handle online and now everybody can trace this unreasonable behavior back to your account, letting them side against you before they ever meet you. And it seems your main strategy is "stop playing the game that you have to play forever".

I'm not advocating a total surrender. They say the first death is in the heart, and I consider losing all hope of ever surviving SBURB to be a metaphorical death, in that you're just a walking corpse. There are communities online dedicated to finding a way to fix the door, or escape the game in some other manner, if you've invested in that I heartily recommend you join them. I also don't advocate that you "will yourself to die" and leave your body to your brother or whatever. I can't imagine what it's like to be sharing a body with someone else (or the biological implications of the fact that your body seemingly never really sleeps), but if it makes you feel better, consider it a sort of disability and learn to live with it like the couple hundred disabled players out here do. If you'd like to chat with someone who might know what that does in fact feel like, leave a note nearby when you go to sleep, or however it is you communicate with him. And for god's sake, read the Etiquette FAQ.

For your own sake, I will not be responding to or publishing any more asks you send me. This might change if I'm allowed some correspondence with your brother, or if you calm down, or if my judgement becomes impaired in the near future. If this seems similar to how the coplayers you've met keep freezing you out, consider it a test of sorts. "What would I say to get someone who doesn't want to talk to me, to talk to me". Your brother ended up figuring this one out, and I unintentionally kneecapped him by not reccomending him the Etiquette FAQ, hint hint.

[sburbian-sage]

you’ve BEEN SPEWING A LOT OF NONSENSE, BUT THE THING i actually FIND most OFFENSIVE IS HOW BADLY YOU UNDERSTAND OUR TIMELINE, TO THE POINT OF NOT EVEN UNDERSTANDING THAT WE’VE NOT ACTUALLY TOLD YOU OUR NATIVE CLASSPECTS. so LET ME CORRECT THAT FOR YOU SINCE YOU’RE TOO UNOBSERVANT TO PICK UP ON THE IMPLICATIONS WHEN i say THINGS LIKE “EACH [SESSION] SINCE”.

session 1: this SESSION WAS JUST US. i was THE bard OF time, HE WAS THE prince OF space.

session 2: he CONTACTED YOU FOR THE FIRST TIME. this WAS ABOUT A YEAR AGO. i was THE witch OF hope, HE WAS THE mage OF rage. he TURNED EVERYONE AGAINST ME HALFWAY THROUGH THE SESSION, THANKS TO YOUR MEDDLING.

session 3: i was THE scout OF void, HE WAS THE guide OF light. i’m basically NOT ABLE TO DO ANYTHING, AS HE CORRUPTS OUR COPLAYERS WITH NONSENSE ARGUMENTS ABOUT RACISM AND THE “VALUE OF DESTRUCTION” AND FALSE EQUIVALENCIES WITH DERSE DREAMERS AND SO ON, BEFORE i have THE CHANCE TO EVEN SPEAK WITH THEM.

session 4: i was THE page OF mind, HE WAS THE knight OF heart. again, i’m unlucky, HE’S AWAKE AND i’m asleep UPON SESSION ENTRY, AND HE TURNS THEM AGAINST ME BEFORE i can DO ANYTHING.

session 5: i finally FIND YOU, AND CONTACT YOU. the SESSION HAS JUST STARTED. i’m the ward OF life, AND HE IS THE heir OF doom. i’m sure THAT DESPITE HIS WORDS, HE’LL CUT ME OUT OF THE GAME AGAIN. i’ve had A LITTLE MORE LUCK TALKING TO MY COPLAYERS, BUT WHO KNOWS HOW LONG that’s GOING TO LAST.

anyway, i just WANT TO TAKE A MOMENT TO POINT OUT HOW UNFAIR YOU’RE BEING TO ME. you DISMISSED FAMILIAR THEORY OUT OF HAND, UNTIL SOMEONE ELSE SPOON-FED IT TO YOU, BECAUSE YOU’RE BIASED AGAINST ME. don’t YOU SEE WHAT HE’S DONE? you’ve BARELY SPOKEN WITH ME, AND YET YOU THINK i’m crazy.

and ON THE TOPIC OF FAMILIAR THEORY… you SEE NOW, HOW i was RIGHT? he *was* MY FAMILIAR. now, YOU MAY SAY THAT “TAMING” HIM WAS THE WRONG WAY TO LOOK AT IT, BUT DON’T YOU SEE HOW THINGS GO WHEN HE’S UNCHECKED? he ADMITS THAT HE DOES THE SAME THINGS TO ME, RELEGATING ME TO JUST OUR OWN LAND, AND MAKING EVERYONE FEAR AND HATE ME! mercy WAS NEVER AN OPTION, IT WAS ALWAYS GOING TO BE ABOUT WHO STRIKES FIRST, AND HARDEST.

on THAT NOTE, SADLY, SLAUGHTERING HIS DREAMSELF ISN’T AN OPTION. my EVENTUAL PREDOMINATION IS NEARLY ASSURED ANYWAY, AND IF THE FEW SCANT STORIES ON THE NETWORK ARE TO BE BELIEVED, A FORCED EARLY VICTORY WOULD STUNT MY GROWTH PERMANENTLY. when i FINALLY SUBSUME HIM, IT WILL BE THE PROPER WAY, AND WHEN i finally FIND A WAY TO ESCAPE THIS GAME, MY BODY WILL NOT BE RUINED, AND i will ACHIEVE MY GLORIOUS ADULT FORM. thankfully, GOD TIERING HAS CAUSED NO PROBLEMS. which IS ODD, AS I’VE HEARD TELL THAT IT WAS INDEED SUPPOSED TO TRIGGER THE SUBSUMPTION, OR AT LEAST HAS FOR OTHER CHERUBS.

…finally, i hesitated TO BRING THIS UP, BUT SINCE YOU MENTIONED KNITTING AND HE didn’t BRING IT UP, i think HE MAY HAVE SOMETHING TO HIDE. so i’m going TO SAY IT.

jujus. we HAVE THEM. i’ve a BALL OF YARN, DYED THE SAME BRIGHT GREEN AS MY BLOOD. he HAS A MATCHING ONE IN THE RED OF HIS OWN, THOUGH i’ve never SEEN IT. it IS MY UNDERSTANDING THAT THEY DO SOMETHING SPECIAL WHEN UNITED, BUT OF COURSE NEITHER OF US WOULD EVER TRUST THE OTHER WITH OUR OWN.

i am CURIOUS. did YOU GUESS SOMEHOW? did HE TELL YOU PRIVATELY ABOUT THEM? it SEEMS TOO SUSPICIOUS A COINCIDENCE THAT YOU BROUGHT UP KNITTING IF YOU DIDN’T KNOW.

Okay okay, back up. I'm about to live up to my title and arbitrate this drama with a healthy degree of suspicion towards all parties involved.

First thing's first, curb your paranoia. The only avenue in which I've communicated with your brother was in the public forum of these anonymous asks. I barely get private messages, even though I leave those channels open. The knitting thing was just me being a smarmy dismissive asshole (I've never denied those allegations), and unless you think he used his Rage powers to brainwash me in a public anonymous message, there's another reason for why I seem to predisposed against you. And it's because you're acting like a deranged nutjob.

I dismissed Familiar Theory out of hand when you brought it up, and accepted it when someone else brought it up, because the second person explained what it was, whereas you just namedropped it. You'll note that I'm recalcitrant about rumors and information I have yet to verify, to the point where even now you'll notice I only "accepted" Familiar Theory insofar as it sounds a lot like a parapsychological coping mechanism of sorts. Similarly, you'll note that I've been more hostile to you than to your brother, because his messages have been pretty thoughtful and considerate IMO (he cares more about your wellbeing than you seem to care about his), while you've been rantposting at me. I'm not even doing the "all caps is always screaming" misconception, I've been around the block when it comes to typing quirks, you're just spitting outright venom at me and everyone involved. Call me shallow for it, but I will in fact be negatively inclined towards people who act like assholes in my inbox, and will be more positively inclined towards people who are not. Another thing I very much do not appreciate, in fact, is Player Killers, and you seem like one in the making, sis. Between noting that you "sadly" can't kill him in his sleep because it would negatively affect you, and how your ultimate goal seems to be the outright destruction of his personality. When, keep in mind, he specifically messaged me asking for a way to help make sure you don't get completely dominated like what you want to do to him.

I wouldn't trust you as far as I could throw you, my Mangrit has never been all that impressive, but I'll humor you and say "I believe you when you say that your brother is trying to isolate you from all of the coplayers in your session". You need to provide me with an argument for why this is even a bad thing. All of your arguments thus far has been "he's evil" when you seem like the wingnut here, and "you're so foolish with your compassion and anti-racism", which, pardonne-moi for not being eager to gormlessly swallow that. I will admit, the thought did cross my mind that he could be presenting a false "softboi in need of aid" persona, and you're telling the truth and just so happen to be objectively terrible at talking to people in general. But you understand that even in this framework where your brother IS evil, the dynamic goes from "asshole sister attempts to kill innocent brother" to "sister and brother are both assholes trying to kill each other", right? Even if I accept what you're saying is true, the only thing that changes is that the most evil iteration of your brother is the same as you. And I've never been a fan of "the morality of an action is determined by who performs the action".

Hell, I'll even humor you on the other point. He's destructive and evil by nature, you're creative and benevolent by nature. My eyes beg to differ, but I do have an anecdote to share about the other species who play SBURB. Consider it a bit of an interracial get-to-know-each-other activity. Human nature has been a philosophical topic so thoroughly discussed that not even Prototype Towers could contain all the debates held about it. In the society I came from, the ruling classes believed that human nature was, more or less, evil, and they needed to humor certain aspects while stamping out others. Expand territory outwards, slaughter and subjugate everyone in the way, it's a genetic tendency. Accumulate infinite resources, even as you exploit man and the planet to do so, even as the resources lose all meaning and they keep pooling into smaller and smaller hands. You can never change society for the better, all claims to compassion are false, the cries of those who just want to put the people on bottom up top, so we should let kings and capitalists rule because they're honest in their cruelty. All those people are dead now. The survivors, SBURB players, succeed because they know how to grow the fuck up, introspect, and work together with other coplayers as equals to make everyone better versions of themselves, even as they bleed and die in pursuit of this goal. The Hemospectrum Trolls subscribe to, I've been told, is also as natural as breathing and dying. The highbloods, with their cool-shaded blood, psionic fortitude, physical strength, and long lives, have their superiority flowing through their veins, the short-lived shitbloods just need to know their place. But as it turns out, psionic powers are fucking awesome, lifespan doesn't mean anything anymore, and the ones who try to enforce a hemo-supremacist hierarchy on the session are doomed to failure, either because it doesn't stick, or because they try to force it and get killed in self-defense. Your conceptions and moral justifications are based in biology and cultural mythos, I assume? You'd think a replayer with five sessions tucked into her belt would have enough maturity to recognize arbitraity when it's elbow-dropping her off of a rooftop, but stranger things have happened. If you're so mentally submissive as to uncritically accept all of that as truth, then maybe you're not the one who's victory is "eventual". Food for thought.

But to cut all the crap short, and do away with all the hostility, I don't actually think you being erased, socially or metaphysically, is a good thing. Your brother doesn't either, which is why he reached out last time. I normally wouldn't waste my breath trying to make appeals towards potential PKers who have already written off other's right to live, but you seem pretty impotent from where I'm standing. By your own admission, you've been on a 3-4 year losing streak in terms of "getting people to like you". And I will admit, for all I know your brother could be lying about his intentions. I have two stories in front of me who don't seem to outwardly contradict one another, outside of who is framed as the villain in each, and I don't have enough information to make an objective arbitration. What I do know is that your brother's narrative is that he doesn't want you dead and buried, while in both of your narratives, you want the same to him. I would advise "apologize and make friendly with him" in either case, whether because you're in the wrong or because you're losing and should pragmatically accept whatever scraps of mercy you can afford. Putting aside the overtly menacing crazyspeak about "eventual predomination", "taming", and the other will to power shit is also advisable, both in terms of mutual understanding with your brother and also not immediately alienating anybody you talk to, because it instinctively sets off red flags for everybody who isn't you, it seems. I pegged your brother as the socially awkward, doesn't know how to talk to people sort, but I unfortunately think you're much the same. I gave him confidence and told him to work on his people skills, as you know, so maybe take the same advice. At the very least, fake it until you make it.

[sburbian-sage]

Native Witch of Breath here, also been a Witch of Might and Witch of Void, though currently a Heir of Hope. I gotta say, I personally put a lot of stock in familiar theory! I just don't think it applies to every Witch in every session, and the was that cherub was doing it was pretty crazy.

It can be part of the progression of a cryptical class, I think. Witches can be hard to understand, so they in turn get something that's usually not even the same species, or thinks very differently to them, that *they* have to deal with not being able to understand. (Not sure if Mages have an equivalent? Maybe they do and it's just not as obvious.)

It also ties into the whole "Witches usually prototype something terrible" thing. Often the sprite actually is the familiar- a familiar doesn't need to stay with you the entire game, just long enough for the game to try and get the point across.

My first session, I prototyped my pet bird that died. It was a very touching reunion, but it was SO eager to leave, and I had to keep convincing it to stay, until I eventually realized that sprites leaving was part of the game, and that as a Breath player I shouldn't be restricting something's freedom anyway, even if it was to much of a birdbrain to really explain itself.

In the session I was a Witch of Might, it was admittedly a little more metaphorical. I was going out of my skull trying to understand the "Might is water" thing, and so I took the glitch FAQ's advice, and went to stare at an ocean.

And then after doing that for an hour I lost it because I was under a lot of stress in general and this was the last straw and blew up the beach (bombkind FTW). But after I was done, I saw all the water, pooling in the craters I left, flowing together to join the whole, and suddenly something clicked. After that point, it was really hard to conceptualize water as NOT being alive, an ever-present being in the vapor around me, that I had to learn how to ask for help. Like how the water could only pool once I made the craters for it, I needed to figure out that same kinda stuff for other situations.

...And than as the Witch of Void, I didn't have one. Which, I guess makes sense, but I HAVE heard of Void Witches that do have a familiar, so whatever.

So yeah, I guess I don't have any solid proof here, I get that any of these things could have happened to any player- but my point is, it's how Witches RELATE to these things, that's different. Every player has a sprite that leaves them, but a Witch may find that it's oddly related to their aspect. Every player has to figure out their aspect and listen to it's whisperings, but as a Witch I practically saw it as another player in it's own right. And then sometimes maybe it just doesn't happen, I dunno.

Finally, I think this is a stretch, but it might even be part of why Witches get that weird crazy boost to gardening? Plants are also living things that are different from you, so a plant could be your familiar, and it would be bad if it died or never got planted before it could fulfill it's role?

Very interesting. Or because you discussed plants, intreesting.

If I'm interpreting this correctly, it seems like Familiar Theory doesn't relate to an actual game construct, so much as it refers to a sort of (para)psychological event, not unlike the Third Man Factor. It's not that Witch players somehow gain access to special pets when that's normally impossible, it's that the cryptical nature of Witches is isolating, being deliberately obtuse and interacting with the game in such a manner that no other player could relate to the Witch even if it wasn't mechanically penalized. So the Witch, in a way, conceptualizes a companion or other meaningful relationship who they can relate to (alleviating the isolation) and who communicates with them or otherwise imparts meaning in an obtuse, nonobvious, or cryptic manner (acting as a Witch to the Witch, as you said, or perhaps being a Class-analogue of the normally Aspect-oriented Whispers).

If anything, this seems somewhat comparable to the various SBURB mental disorders. Not to imply that you're a repeated sufferer of mental delusions, mind, only that it's a special psychological phenomenon that could only really be understood in the context of SBURB. Not to mention that the mental disorders are all deleterious in nature (hence "disorder"), while Familiar Theory seems mostly positive.

Emphasis on mostly, because as we know the Cherub Witch of Hope is off her rocker. With all of this in mind though, I wonder if it's possible to "diagnose" her, in a way. She called her brother "a beast to be tamed", said that "controlling him was [her] only hope", and that he was her "reward" for making it through the session. She's not currently a Witch of Hope, I think, that's her Native Title and I don't know what she is currently (her brother's Native Title is unknown but he's currently a Mage of Rage). A fair amount of this boils down to her believing that her brother is innately evil or destructive (even though he seems pretty pleasant), but how much of this relates to Familiar Theory? "Reward" implies a certain amount of possessiveness, less like she's the student and he's the teacher, more like she's the owner and he's the pet. As far as "Familiar Theory as the Third Man Factor" goes, SBURB is already stressful, and a duo session would be doubly stressful at least. Especially because only one "side" is active at a time, halving the rate at which progress is made, and depriving an already loney Witch of anyone she could possibly talk to. I think I have two theories now.

Theory #1 is that she underwent a sort of stress meltdown in her first session, and underwent "Familiar Theory" towards her brother as a coping mechanism. She ascribes negative intention to him, and felt like she was their only chance at survival, with him as a malicious millstone. As an active harbinger of complexification, wielding rejection, she began putting up a facade of saccharine disposition, and adopted a drive to sublimate her alter ego. A strengthening of willpower that let her fully embody active Hope, pushing against the odds and rejecting any undesired outcomes, including those of an unsuccessful session, and her brother achieving dominance (or equilibrium). Of course, abusers derive power from mistreating others, so she isn't letting her "Familiar" go unless she can be forced to. This theory accounts for everything, of course. His needing to be tamed (malicious intentions ascribed), controlling him is her only hope (internalizing rejection), her reward (someone she has power over), and the material conditions for a Witch to seek a Familiar.

Theory #2, of course, is that she isn't even understanding Familiar Theory correctly, and is instead interpreting it uber-literally. This theory accounts for her being a skeevy weirdo with a loose grip on reality, because she is the Cherub Pet Gal.

[sburbian-sage]

OH great… MY sister contacted you…

MY apologies. I DIDN’T think she was that dedicated to invading my privacy, such that I’D NEED to hide the blogs I VIEW but I GUESS that was a silly thought. I’M NOT sure if blocking her blocks me as well, or if you even can block people asking things anonymously, but if you can and you need to and it does, I’LL UNDERSTAND.

ANYWAY, things have gotten a lot better for me since I MESSAGED you.

WHEN I USED my RAGE powers to make my coplayers [EXPLAIN why you hate me], it was surprising to me just how much of it was easy to disprove, and how few things there were. MY sister has a one-track mind, and believes the things she does very strongly. IT’S very hard to argue with her, but it turns out with more reasonable people, it’s a weakness, because she’ll just repeat the same points over and over even when I DISPROVE them.

ALL I HAD to do in a few cases was point out that WITCH familiar theory wasn’t confirmed, and a lot of them softened on me. IN another case, I SHOWED them what you and I WROTE each other, and a coplayer confessed that they “didn’t know it was racism if it was an alien”. AND once I GOT a few people on my side, the tides started to shift.

SINCE you don’t know, I SHOULD probably tell you that WITCH familiar theory is the idea that WITCHES are likely to have a living representation of their aspect that they need to learn to control- or work with, though she likes to ignore that part- although there’s obviously tons of WITCHES who don’t corroborate this. AND I THINK it’s a stretch to say that I REPRESENTED HOPE in that session anyway.

SO, since I’M SENDING you a message again anyway… I SUPPOSE I HAVE another question for you.

I’VE BEEN doing pretty well at not letting her turn our coplayers against me anymore. BUT the problem is… IT feels like I’M DOING to her what she was doing to me. I CONVINCE them not to listen to her, she gets left out for the entire session… AT first I THOUGH it was for the better, but I’M NOT sure anymore.

I’M STUCK with her, for the foreseeable future. I HAVE to swap over sometimes. IT’S not good that our coplayers are practically down a player half the time. I JUST don’t want her to take everything over again- which she still kind of does anyway, with the quests on our own land.

ANY advice on striking the balance?

I'm glad to hear that things are turning out better for you, buddy. Your weird sister said that you "used Rage commands to turn the others against [her]", but I'm really glad to hear that you only used your powers insofar as you can't be blocked and you only "forced" them to explain what was going on. I've seen less socially adept (or considerate) Rage players use them to just outright solve their social problems, and it always turns sour in the end. You didn't sound very confident in your communicative abilities in your first message, but make sure to put this one on the trophy rack. You earned it.

In regards to Familiar Theory, I will say that this one seems very questionable. As in "this sounds like absolute poppycock, balderdash, and horseshit". SBURB isn't Pokemon, this isn't really a "pets" game. I think most real-world pets are marked for death, in the same way that every non-game construct non-player entity is marked (such as timeclones and the entire population of your homeworld). The only "potential pets" you could find in game would be your Sprite (they leave), a random Consort or Carapacian you adopted (protect them), or... The other players. Which if they consent, sure man, we're all adults-trapped-in-teenagers-bodies here, and it seems like every other replayer out there is a dogboy or doggirl of some sort (this isn't literal). But you obviously don't, and also you two are siblings, so this isn't applicable and may in fact be kinda grody. I guess you could consider the Whisperings to be a "familiar spirit" of sort, but EVERY player has that. There's no real way to square this circle, Witch Theory is bunk. Bunk she believes in, and is using as her reasoning for trying to control you. Which brings us onto the real issue.

Your sister's a real weirdo, man, and maybe a tad abusive. I think your situations are a bit different, in that she was effectively lying about you, to make you appear like some tyrant-in-the-making who would subjugate or kill everyone, all for the purpose of turning you into her weird pet, meanwhile you just explained that this wasn't true and she apparently started verbally blasting people, in the same way she verbally blasted me. I think a certain amount of her current unpopularity is kind of her problem, she could have simply not done any of that stuff. If you're concerned about her wellbeing though (and by extension, yours), there's probably a solution here. I don't think a feelings jam is it, considering that (based on what she said to me) she thinks everyone in the session is enthralled by you and I am the devil to your antichrist. Though certainly, if the other players can be convinced that this drama needs to be put to rest for the good of the session, you could probably socially corner her and try to get at the root of what's going on. She seems to believe that you are indeed evil, selfish, and entitled, despite herself feeling entitled to own you as a pet as a "reward" for surviving a session with you, so if I were to play therapist, I would try aiming at that. The only other advice I have on this front is "try not to look like you are indeed trying to reverse the dynamic so you're top dog". If she makes herself as despised as you were, boo hoo, but if it seems like you're trying to make her seem worse, she could potentially twist it as some Machiavellian 4D chess maneuver. In any case, I think you'll need to build a rapport with and enlist the help of your coplayers.

As far as the non-social situation, I wouldn't worry too much about the swap-outs. It looks like you two share a Land, so you're it's not like one person doing a two-man job. Not to mention, if I remember correctly, whoever isn't in control is asleep, so if she's awake doing Land Quests you can just do Dream Quests and vice-versa. What I would be worried about depends heavily on the dreamself situation. You two share a physical body, but do you also share a dream body? If you do, then no worries. If you do, it might be prudent to make sure that no "unfortunate accidents" happen to your dream body while your physical body is awake/your dream body is asleep and her physical body is asleep/her dream body is awake and holding a knife. If you know what I'm saying. And for that matter, how the fuck does god-tiering work at all? Have you ever done it? Has any Cherub documented what happens? Does it stay the same, do you split into two different god players, or does one take over completely? And if the latter, be careful.

I'm sorry I can't be more helpful, but I don't have much experience with this situation. Both "how does being a Cherub interact with the game mechanics", and relatedly this specific flavor of "weird abusive coplayer". I'm not blocking either of you, so feel free to keep hitting me up for advice, or feedback from other members of the community. And for my part, I'll just kind of deal with whatever messages she sends towards me.

[sburbian-sage]

tr:oll here!!! not rang:o:on XD

speakin :of.......... my c:oplayers are s:o s:o mean about it UmU

i guess its cringy :or whatevs l:ol liek s:orry???

dey never really talk t:o me... DX dey say its ann:oying...

halp why dey s:o racist??? :( :( :( dey w:ont even explain it l:ol ;_;

why d:o h:o:omans have such pr:oblems with quirks???

I think you picked the unlucky straw because at least part of your typing quirk evokes early 2000s *glomps u* speech, which for complicated reasons humans have developed an instinctive negative response to. They are, of course, less evolved members of their species, for I have reached a higher state, internalizing that cringe is simultaneously dead and to be free. Alternatively, it's mildly inconvenient to parse, the younger generations are evolving to become illiterate, and I am the noble genetic throwback, or more accurately a short-tusked boar watching as all of my boar brethren keep darwinistically selecting for longer curlier tusks, even though they're evolving to stab themselves through the brain.

In any case, just tell them to grow up and deal with it. If you want to bring a gun to a knife fight, pull up that one SBURB Etiquette FAQ, I'm pretty sure it has a chapter on interspecies relations (not that kind), with a section specifically relating to Troll typing quirks. How it's a sort of compulsive behavior that can be voluntarily stopped but it's like forcing a left-handed person to write with their right hand, and regardless of anything it is kinda racist to just socially freeze out any coplayers who are a different species from you. It's a little corny to cite your impassioned pleas for tolerance like this, and invoking gentlemanMannerism is a bit like solving an argument by revealing that you're wearing a bomb vest, but this is just petty behavior. If they keep whining, feel free to rest on your laurels, cocksure that you're the one teenager among toddlers.

[sburbian-sage]

Sorry, bit of a long-ass vent post with little point ahead.

Knight of Time here. Session also includes a Heir of Space, Scout of Mind, Rogue of Heart, Mage of Life, and a player that I'm having some trouble with, our Seer of Light.

Me and the Seer are both very experienced. Everyone else is pretty new to replaying, and they all really look up to us. But me and the Seer don't really get along at all.

They tend to give a lot of advice that I think is really double edged, weird, or just plain wrong. Like, they once told the Heir that Space is "all about loneliness" so the Heir should avoid trying to become friends with anybody. Which like... Where do I even start, right?

Obviously there's a nugget of truth in there. I've heard SOME people say that Space CAN be associated with loneliness, but the end conclusion is a recipe for disaster.

But hey, I'm a Time player. What the fuck do I know about Space. Maybe I'm the idiot, sure. And maybe I'm wrong about a bunch of the stuff they've said that I thought was wrong. Who knows!

What I do know is that the Seer needs to STOP telling me how to play MY classpect, or I'm gonna blow a fuse.

They drone on and on about how Knights are "always using their aspect as a shield to hide something about themselves", which, like, is a theory I've heard before, and might even be right. But fucker, I DON'T KNOW WHAT I WOULD BE HIDING. I can't have the cathartic feelings jam they keep condescendingly angling for, but if I could, I wouldn't have it with THEM anyway.

Also, nearly every idea they have about Time sounds like a doomed timeline in potentia.

I keep telling them to leave me alone, I keep telling everyone to be careful taking their advice, I keep explaining and reexplaining how to avoid doomed timelines. But nobody gets it. Least of all the Seer themself, who often gives me a shitty little smirk and tells me "This is a game about maturing, you'll get it once you grow up a little more".

I don't want to like, go full-bore on turning everybody against them or anything. Hell, they ARE a Seer of Light, advising is much more their role than mine, it's possible that they really ARE right about a lot of what they say, and I've deluded myself into thinking they're an idiot.

But I don't understand how to handle it at this point. My mind keeps tossing out conspiracy theories like "what if they haven't been replaying as long as they say", "what if they're TRYING to kill us with bad advice", stuff like that.

I'm sorry, I don't even know what my question is. I guess "how do I put up with this", but I guess that it'll always come down to that, and the answer is usually to just try and go numb to it. At least typing all this out made me feel a little better.

I need you to send my an invoice for my medical bill, because I cringed so hard I may have damaged organs.

Okay, obviously there's some Dunning-Kruger going on here. This person matured a little bit, but now they think they're the master of maturity, own-zoning emotionally stunted sboobs with their sage advice (no relation), ass famine, etc. etc. But that bit about "Knights act like this and Space players do that" hurts me personally. It's rich to say this as someone who writes guides as a sort of vocation, but I think reading too many guides gives you brain damage. This is evident here, where not only is the Seer of Light engaging in some hardcore secondhand classpecting, but is also giving very by-the-books canned advice on the narrative arc of certain titles, with equally dubious advice to adhere to it as inauthentically artificially as possible. I need to stress how much I hate this, it's like I'm a well-respected biology professor at Clown University, and I'm watching this fresh new bio student completely jettison the worth of my degree by delivering a sermon on how correct phrenology is, I'm vomiting blood right now.

Sadly, I think you're right in that you just have to ignore them. They seem pretty set in being the Grand Master of SBURB, I don't think a conversation can help them out of it (outside of saying "if you tell me how to play my class I will dropkick you in the head"). And if their advice really is that bad, maybe let it blow up in their face a little bit. I don't doubt that the Heir of Space will eventually try contacting you or someone else when they realize how miserable and difficult being a loner is, and they'll see pretty quickly that they do indeed not have to be lonely to "fulfill their aspect" or whatever. If you're not too averse to seeing your own dead body, maybe try taking their advice on time travel, and then point towards the doomed timeclones and say "like that, right?". I think they'll fizzle out once people start realizing how bad the advice is, and will maybe calm down and be less imperious about it. Or they'll go nuts, take direct action because they know best (as Seers are wont to do, not that I as a Sage know anything about that), and watch as their advice literally blows up in their face. And then they'll probably chill out afterwards, because that's what happens when you fuck up and disappoint everyone during an ego-trip. Then things will go hunky-dory!

Alternatively, their advice does work, in which case the problem solves itself! Don't ever admit you were wrong though, otherwise you consign yourself to a hell most eternal. Just nod and say "yeah, look at that" or something.

[sburbian-sage]

I'm curious. Let's say that the Grace of Time from that ask you got were to find this blog, and realize that all their coplayers were conspiring to kill them. What should they even do?

Go into hiding? Try and talk everybody down? You can't just kill them all first, because the game would probably become unwinnable (among myriad other obvious reasons). What the fuck do you do if you're in a session full of lunatics like that?

Now that's a difficult question. There really isn't a "court of law" you can appeal to as a replayer. Outside of the replayernet, of course. If you get found out as a PKer, that's a permaban from not only most self-respecting forums, but entire servers as well. Considering that this cuts you off from tons of archived content (player-made and from worlds destroyed by the entry process) and from most of your online connections, that's a fate worse than death for some. If I got banned, I couldn't survive out here, that's for sure. But of course, the only way to enforce a penalty like that would be through doxxing. If I were the Grace of Time and I figured out what was going on, I'd consider leaving them a little message. "Just so you guys know, if you kill me, I have a ~ATH program which will leak all of your handles online, and a notepad telling everyone what you did". Mob justice isn't pretty, but it's hard to get any other kind of justice out here.

This is one half advice, one half threat. Just in case the anon asking this question is the same anon with the conspiracy to commit murder from earlier, acting coy, asking me what I'd do so they can cut their target off at the jump. Information spreads surprisingly easy on the replayernet, and your entire online presence can be traced back to that dongle implanted only inches away from your heart. You're not as clever as you think you are, so maybe pick up some more common sense at the corner store, unless you think you can pull the trigger faster than it takes your prey to hit the enter key.

Roleplaying as a hardboiled noir detective was fun, I should do that more often. Anyway, if I was still concerned with my safety after that, there's other stuff I would do as well. A Grace of Time specifically benefits from their Time powers, able to flit hours or weeks ahead/before to escape strifes (ideally before, in case they set a trap that goes off once you arrive in the future), in addition to being able to convincingly fake your death with a doomed timeclone. To say nothing of how vital the Time player is to surviving any session (that information alone is potent, if you go down so does the entire ship). If you don't think every player is in on the conspiracy, you could ally with known friends or check to see who is in the clear. Not to win the fight with numbers, but to scare off any attempts at attacking a group. A friendly Law player would be splendid, setting a rule forbidding any PKs under threat of exploded body parts. And of course, the unspoken final resort is justified self-defense.

In any case, the big thing you would do is just laying low on your Land, taking refuge in consort villages and ruins, and boobytrapping your own house (but maybe not treating it as your go-to digs, sitting duck behavior). The Skaian Magicant is another good safehouse, assuming you can find it before they do (and perhaps obscure the entrance). In the case illustrated by the ask, you probably only have to survive until the catastrophe happens. Even a lunkhead who thinks you can avert a catastrophe with a PK will probably understand that once it happens, any bloodshed is meaningless. The big downside is that those guys are probably 100% assassinating your dreamself. If you can ascend though, before or after that point, you're golden as I struggle to imagine any scenario in which their attempts at murder would qualify as just or heroic deaths.