#could be conflict there! wait does that count as a theory? i may have lied to you

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

I'm frightened of you knowing who I am but, could you possibly give me your frank frankly theories pretty please idc if you only have like 2.1 I want them regardless of how many you have.

mayhaps?

ah man i wish i had some to give! i think all of my Frank theories (at present) are tied into other theory posts! he simply doesn't have a lot to chew on yet

[imagines-by-a-typical-fangirl]

White Lies (Pt. 16 of 21)

Pairing: Keanu Reeves X Reader

Word count: 2.8 K

Summary: Keanu found the girl almost dead, in the wrecks of what was once her car. While she was in surgery, stuck in a coma, he gathered the best doctors of New York to attend to her. They told him she is likely to have some kind of brain damage, what may lead to memory loss. And this possibility added up wit the fact that she's pregnant, made the council come up with an odd idea. They asked Keanu to pretend to be her husband, since the stress of finding out everything that happened could put the baby in danger. He reluctantly agreed, but only if she does has some kind of memory loss. He still goes she'll wake up soon, with her memories intact.

But when you finally wake up, there's nothing inside. You're quick to find your head is empty, void, like a blank canvas. The only thing that brings you some relief, that makes you feel less lonely is the mention of a husband. And you can't wait to meet him, because you know you can't deal with this by yourself.

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{Keanu Reeves Masterlist}

{John Wick Masterlist}

×

Birth

Dr. Williams and two other nurses are the only ones here besides Keanu. You've been in agonizing pain for over an hour now, but it's finally time.

“You're completely dilated now.” Dr. Williams says from her place in between your legs. “You just have to push, alright? Can you do it?”

“No.” You cry, many tears staining your cheeks, hair attached to your face because of the sweat. The pain is too great, and you're conflicted by Keanu's presence. And you just can't. “I can't. I want a cesarian.” Pleading, you rest your back against the bed, hands covering your face.

“We can't perform a cesarian now.” Dr. Williams says. “(Y/N), you're ready. Your baby is coming and I get it that you're scared, but you're almost there. Just push.”

“I can't. I can't.” Voicing breaking, you feel as the sobs shake your body.

“(Y/N).” Keanu's voice reaches you, ripping through the chaos. Your eyes find him, standing away. But soon enough he comes closer, taking your hand. “You can do this, sweetheart. I know you can.”

Nodding, you close your eyes tight and push, biting back a groan as it feels like all strength is leaving your body. You can't faint now... You have no idea what would happen if you pass out.

“Good, (Y/N). Again.” Dr. Williams says, and so you do it.

“I can't.” Shoulders shaking, you squeeze Keanu's hand.

“I can see the head. A big push and it's over, (Y/N), c'mon.”

“One more,” Keanu repeats, moving to seat on the bed next to you. Nothing else matters now, and everything that happened is forgotten. You need him, so you just move, the best you can, your back against his chest as his free hand comes to grab your thigh, keeping your legs spread. “One more push and you'll meet Liam, sweetheart, you can do it.”

His voice brings you a new strength, and you turn your face to look at him, a hand finding its way to his face, pulling him closer so you can kiss him. Then, with your eyes still closed, you hold on to his biceps and push, with whatever strength still left inside you. You're almost giving up when a cry fills the hospital room, the pain surrenders, and Dr. Williams stands up straight, holding a tiny little human in her arms.

“Here he is.” She says, smiling. “I'll clean him up and I'll hand him over to you, alright?”

Still catching your breath, you nod, lying back down, colliding on Keanu's chest. The doctors do their stuff as you try to calm down after all this effort. You knew it wouldn't be easy, but you never thought it would be this hard. “I can leave if you want.” He says, letting go of your thigh. There will be a bruise there, but you don't mind.

“No.” You're quick to answer, voice a little harsh. Part of you doesn't want to need him, to love him this much, but you do. The heart wants what it wants. It loves who it loves. “Stay to meet the baby.”

“Alright.”

It takes a few minutes until Dr. Williams brings Liam to you. He's wrapped around a pale blue blanket since Keanu remembered to bring your bag when he went to pick you up at the hotel. And he's absolutely beautiful, so light you barely feel him in your arms.

“Hi, baby.” You whisper, barely hearing your own voice. Slowly, you touch his forehead with your fingers, softly, as if he's made of glass. You can't control the tears rolling down, but they're from joy this time. You can't believe you're finally seeing him, face to face, after carrying him inside you for so long. He moves his mouth a little, and slowly, he opens his eyes, curiously looking around before blinking a few times. “It's mommy, little one. And...” The words get caught in your throat, your heart sinking a little. “...And daddy...” You push out because Dr. Williams said babies can recognize the parents' voice from the moment they're born, and the father's voice belongs to Keanu, and you know how much it hurts to miss this man, you don't want Liam to feel the same pain. Turning your head to look at Keanu, you're surprised to find teary eyes focused on the baby. “D-do you want to talk to him?”

He nods, glancing at you. He does love this child, that's not up to discussion. “Hi there, little one.” He starts, voice a little clouded. “It's so good to finally meet you.” Liam seems to find you with his eyes, and they move from Keanu and back at you.

“Excuse me, Mr. and Mrs. Reeves.” Dr. Williams says, and the way she addresses you makes you move uncomfortably. “I must take the baby now. Run a few exams to be sure he's one hundred percent fine. Then we'll bring him back so you can feed him”

“Alright...” You don't want to let him go yet, but you knew about these exams. “Keanu, can you... Just keep an eye on him?” You ask in a low voice before Dr. Williams comes to take Liam from your arms.

“Sure.” Keanu slowly gets up, and you feel a little abandoned. But you shouldn't. You shouldn't have him this close, and you definitely shouldn't have kissed him.

But you can't take those things back. And you're not sure if you would if there was a chance.

You spend two days in the hospital, with Dr. Williams teaching you everything you'll need to know. But you've been taking classes, and reading many things about how to take care of your baby, so you think you can do it. Well, at least the theory. Laura comes to visit, and so does Lucia. Keanu doesn't leave except to shower and have dinner. Other than that, he's always around.

But the day comes when you can leave, so you bathe, dress up and wait for the nurse to bring Liam. You were trying not to think too much about it, but eventually, you have to. As you thank and watch the nurse leaving, you see as Keanu comes in, always a little embarrassed, avoiding your stare, head low. You haven't spoken much. Actually, you haven't said anything to him since the birth. You did thought he'd leave after that, but surprisingly, he stayed.

Holding Liam on one arm, very, very carefully, you try to pick up your bag. “Let me.” Keanu quickly says, making you stop your motion, eyes following him around as he takes the bag himself. “I can drive you wherever you'll be staying.” The words come out heavy as if they're piercing through his throat. “Or a cab, if–”

“No.” Cutting him short, you shake your head. There isn't anywhere else. The hotel is out of question, as is Lucia. And you don't want to crowd Laura's apartment with a loud, crying baby. And the house is ready to receive Liam, so, for now, there's no other place. “For Liam's sake, I believe it would be better if we stayed at your place. If that's not a problem for you, of course.” It takes a lot of effort not to call his place ‘home’. Because that's what that place is.

“Of course not.” He seems perplexed, furrowing his eyebrows a little before gesturing at the door. “Let's go.”

“Let's go.” You mutter, setting in motion.

• • •

Liam proved that knowing the theory doesn't mean you'll nail the real thing. At first, you find it strange that he sleeps too much, even though you read that newborn babies sleep for like seventeen hours a day, only to wake up when they're hungry. And that happens every two to three hours, which means you barely have any sleep. But you're completely focused on him, jumping to your feet whenever you hear that low-pitched cry.

You also start with the postpartum exercises, which was already planned, with a personal trainer that comes three times a week, so your body will go back to normal. You dropped many pounds very quickly. These things aren't that important, not now at least, that everything got real and you're still trying to deal with the web of lies you were caught into, but the routine gives you something else to think about.

The diet is carefully followed too, but that's all Keanu. You don't really see him, since you confined yourself to the guest room, where Liam is also sleeping in his crib, but the meals are always ready. He doesn't even give you the chance to cook something. When you go downstairs to eat, there's something ready for you.

The first month goes by slowly, and you're starting to get the hang of things. Since Liam spends most of the day in the bedroom with you, you asked Keanu to take him for his daily morning walks around the neighborhood. You agree with Laura, you can't and won't pull Liam away from him.

Sometime around Liam's second month, you're checking your face in the mirror. You look terribly tired, and you feel even worse. But the exhaustion is worth it, and you get a reminder every time you see or hear Liam. Taking a step back, you take a look at your body. You did recover from the baby weight pretty quickly since sometimes you have nothing to do but to keep repeating the exercises. You barely remember how you looked before.

Despite being a little early, you decide to call it a night, curling up in bed. You did miss sleeping on your stomach, but you spent so much time sleeping on your side that you just feel a lot more comfortable like this. You're having some kind of dream, about a peaceful beach when you're awakened by a gentle shake on your shoulder. Breathing deeply, you slowly float back into consciousness, raising your head and finding Keanu seated on the bed with a teary Liam on his arms.

“What happened?” You ask, already pushing yourself into a sitting position.

“Liam was crying. You didn't hear it so I came and changed him. But I think he's hungry.” Keanu says in a low voice, and you take Liam from his arms.

“I'm sorry he woke you up. I... I'm just tired.” You're surprised you fell in such a deep sleep you didn't hear Liam. “Thanks, though.” Sliding the strap from your tank top down your shoulder, you open the bra, freeing your breast which is easily found by Liam. It takes a while until you get reminded of Keanu's presence, your senses overcome by the need to feed your baby. So you give him a look, and you find his eyes locked on his hands cupped together on his lap.

“You don't have to thank me. I'm here if you need me.”

“Why did you do this, Keanu?” You didn't want to talk about it, but there's a freaking elephant in the room and you can't take it anymore. And you need to hear it from him because you're not sure where you're going from now. You're living one day after the other, but still, you feel lost. Clueless. “Why did you lie to me like that?”

“They told me you could lose the baby.” He begins, sad eyes finding yours. “Depending on how you'd take the news about the memory loss, Daniel's death, and the pregnancy. Dr. Wright said you were too hurt already, and your body wouldn't be able to deal with the stress.”

“Then it wasn't your idea.”

Silently, he shakes his head no. “I knew it wasn't fair to you. You needed Daniel, not me, a complete stranger, but if anything happened to you or the baby because I didn't agree with that crazy idea I'd never forgive myself.”

You're about to say something when Liam makes a little noise, and you look down at him. “Slowly, baby, slowly.” You whisper, caressing his cheek before speaking to Keanu again. “Why did you... Why did you...”

“Because I was in love with you by then.” He answers, knowing exactly what you're talking about. “I didn't want to. I mean, I did, I just... I knew I should have stopped, but I couldn't. I loved you so much. I love you so much and I–”

“I felt so violated. I thought I was making love with my husband, not with a stranger.” The words are harsh, but they're true. And the truth must be spoken.

“I'm so sorry, (Y/N). And I completely understand if you hate me.”

“I hate that I love you.” Muttering, you focus on the baby in your arms because you can't bring yourself to stare at Keanu anymore. “But I do. And it sucks because I feel that everything you told me was a lie. The first ‘I love you’ certainly was.”

He takes a deep breath, and you feel his eyes burning on you. “The first was, but all the other times...” Keanu moves closer, and you raise your eyes to meet his. “I love you. And I hate myself for everything I did, but I did it for you. And for Liam. I was terrified that you'd leave after knowing the truth, that you'd never want to look at me again but I rather have you hating me than seeing you or the baby in danger.”

“Ke, I...” You don't know what to say, and you curse yourself for calling him that.

“The only thing I need to know, if you have any affection for me, even if it's as small as a speck of dust... Please... Is there any chance we could... Somehow make this–”

“I don't know.” Cutting him off, you feel a tear rolling down, so you look away. The hurt in his voice breaks your heart, and you want to hug him, kiss him. “I don't know. I-I'm here, and I don't know what to do next... I have feelings for you but I'm still heartbroken. I don't know when I'll be able to... Look at you as I did before. You're not my husband, and I'm not Mrs. Reeves.”

“And Liam is not my son, I know that.” With a heavy sigh, he gets up, making his way to the door.

But you won't let him go, not until he hears it. Not until he hears the truth. Now, more than ever, the truth is a sacred thing, and you will speak it, it doesn't matter how you feel about it. The truth is above that. “You may not be his biological father, but I'll let you be his father.” You raise your voice just a little for him to stop, but not enough to bother Liam. “He grew up inside me listening to your voice, feeling your presence, if that's even possible, and influenced by all the love I have for you. And I won't take that away from Liam, I know he loves you.” It's pretty clear that the baby knows Keanu. He feels good when held by him, and when for some reason the morning walks can't happen, Liam cries his heart out, only to be put to rest if Keanu takes a fake walk with him through the house. “If you love him... It doesn't matter what will be of us, I want you to be around Liam.”

His eyes are intense, full of sadness, confusion, and things you can't understand. “I do. I love this baby and I love you.”

“Then will you let us stay? Until... I don't know. Until somehow we figure this out. Because even if I move out, I won't be far.” You're trying not to cry, at least not in front of him. You don't know what will happen next, or when, but you're happy to know you'll be here today, and tomorrow, and the day after. Then... You'll see.

“(Y/N), you can stay here for as long as you want. This is... Your house too, even though you don't feel like it anymore.”

Nodding, you look down at Liam again, who already stopped sucking and has fallen asleep again. “He's out.”

“Do you want me to put him back in his crib?” He reluctantly offers. Keanu is back at the very beginning of this. Distant, trying not to make you feel uncomfortable.

“Yes, please.” Slowly, you pull him off your breast, quickly covering yourself before giving him to Keanu. You watch as the mountain of a man delicately puts Liam down, fixing the blankets around him before walking away.

“Good night, beautiful.” He says, immediately stopping by the door and looking at you. “I'm sorry, I shouldn't have called you–”

“Good night, Ke.” You mutter, turning on your side and closing your eyes shut again.

×

@multific @inumorph @aestheticallywinchester @bvbwestfall @liviiii98 @allie1804-fan @gian-giannina @playboygeniusphilanthropist @partypoison00 @mariafetamina @fortheloveoffanfic @trin303

[wendimydarling]

Worship

Title: Worship

Summary: August puts on a front, but he finally receives the care that he truly needs.

Pairing: August Walker, First Person Reader

Chapters: Chapter One | Chapter Two | Chapter Three | Chapter Four | Chapter Five |

Word Count: 1974

Warnings: Nudity, Oral sex

A/N: Okay so I know I’m the odd one out in that no one sees him capable of agreeing to this, but I just had to see this man get some sweet loving for once. Hope you like it!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I’d been watching him for months. August Walker, famed Hammer of the CIA, rough and rugged vigilante for justice. He was harsh, abrupt, blunt, and any other number of adjectives used to describe a determined man. But what everyone else saw as anger, I saw as a man who was starved for attention, though not in the way you might think. I sensed a poor relationship with his mother, a lack of touch as a child necessary to create the ability to bond with other creatures of this earth, to create empathy.

I intended to rectify this.

He and I built up a sort of relationship over the next few weeks during our latest assignment. Most of the time it would be just the two of us working late into the night, pouring over maps and classified documents to find what was needed. August had a mattress in his office where he slept instead of going home, because there were dozens of boxes of evidence to sift through and the brief wasn’t going to write itself. 

I started testing August too, to see how well my theory applied. I brought him some coffee, brushing my fingertips lightly on his shoulder as I set it down. No initial reaction. Hmmm. I let my hand linger a moment, slid it off his shoulders instead of lifting it, and walked away, staring at his reflection in the large glass writing board behind him. A sizable jerk and rotation of his shoulders. There it is. He didn’t want me to see how much it affected him.

I grew bolder as the nights went on. I’d purposefully sit close to him while we worked, making sure my thigh was pressed against his. When it got really late, I would give his shoulders a quick massage. If he called me over to show me a document, I’d lean in behind him, a hand firmly planted on his shoulder as my breasts grazed his back; our cheeks almost but never quite touching. I never received any indication that it affected him while the transactions occurred, but I could hear the shaky exhalations of his breath when I left, I could see in the reflections of the windows the way he closed his eyes and trembled after my departure. I took mental notes, organizing them into sections to process later.

On the last night there, once August and I finished our work, we celebrated with a bottle of scotch. I wore a soft blouse and a pencil skirt; simple, but effective. Sitting on the same side of the table as usual, this time facing him, I eyed him analytically as we chatted, my ankle resting against his leg. Once again he was perfectly stoic, but I knew better by now. Inside, I knew his body was screaming. I threw back the rest of my drink and set it down on the table, liquid courage coursing through me.

“August,” I said, bending forward and setting my hand gently on top of his wrist. August’s eyes locked onto my hand, and I could see the minute changes in his chest as his breath exited his lungs at a quicker pace. 

“August,” I repeated, “May I touch you?”

August looked up at me then, confused. 

“You already are,” he said cautiously.

“Not like this,” I murmured, tracing circles on his skin. “I want to touch you. All of you. And I think you need it. Do you trust me?”

To emphasize what I meant, I picked his hand up and placed the pad of his forefinger on my tongue, licking a slow line up to his fingernail. A twitch of the eye; the first visible change in his countenance since I started this charade. Interesting.

I kept up my movements, planting soft, wet kisses on his fingers and palm. August just sat there, watching, his breath coming faster and faster. I could tell it bothered him, but that he also wanted more. 

“Does this hurt?” I asked him, moving to his wrist. 

“No,” he lied, the muscles tensing in his forearm giving him away. I knew the painful feeling of abandoned nerves being touched for the first time in years. Just the lightest touch could send blazing fire through your body. I stood up, brazenly straddling his lap as I sat on his thick thighs. As I ran my fingers through his hair, kissing him with a gentle, open mouth he moaned, his hands coming up to grab my neck so he could take charge. I pulled away and grasped his hands firmly, shaking my head.

“Let me touch you,” I whispered, adjusting his hands so they were resting on my thighs. He closed his eyes but held still as I went back to his hair, brushing those curls with my fingers, making sure my nails lightly scraped his scalp. Affectionate. Like a mother should do to their son.

“Why didn’t she touch you?” I asked him softly, running a hand along the side of his face, my touch ever so light. I pressed another wet kiss to his jaw, just below his ear, my fingers working to open the buttons of his shirt. August fingers dug into the flesh of my thighs, and he audibly gasped in my ear.

“She did,” he rasped as my lips found his neck, “It just wasn’t kind.”

There it was. The admission of what I had expected all along: August had been beaten by his mother. My heart broke at the thought of a lonely little boy, hiding in his closet for fear of retribution, for being punished for something he didn’t do. I vowed then and there to heal whatever damage that woman had done that I could, starting with this.

I worked slowly, savoring the taste of August’s skin, pressing a kiss to each new part of his body I could reach as I gradually undid his buttons. His eyes were open now, hooded, watching me as I worked. I was surprised he stayed so still; that wasn’t like the Hammer I knew. Once the final button was undone, I pushed the rough cotton aside, following the lines of his torso with my hands until I could slide the cloth off his broad shoulders. I drank in the sight of his body, charting a map of valleys and highways through his muscles and hair with my fingers, using the few freckles I found as a guide.

I removed my shirt and kissed him again, slow and soft, his lips tasting of scotch. With a gentle pressure, I draped my arms around his shoulders, sliding my bare skin against his. Reveling in how hard he felt. How sweet he tasted. His mouth melted around mine, and I could tell he wasn’t used to kissing a woman so tenderly. I’m going to change that.

“Come with me,” I whispered, planting a delicate kiss on his lips. I stood up and laced our fingers, urging him to follow. August complied, conflicting emotions on his face as we wove through the boxes toward his office. My destination was clear and he wanted the same thing, but I knew that he was thrown off because he preferred to be in charge. I had purposefully asked permission, willing to let him wreck my body if that was what he wanted, and August knew that. So I think the fact that he chose this option instead had stunned him slightly; he was surprised at himself.

Upon reaching his office I turned to August, licking a small line on his bicep that ended in a kiss on his shoulder. He kicked his shoes off, and I kept my mouth on his skin as I fiddled with his belt and his zipper. Squatting, I followed the line of his legs with my lips as I pulled down his pants, receiving my first groan as I kissed his hardened member lightly. 

“Lie down, please,” I instructed him quietly, “On your belly.” 

August did as he was asked, his hesitancy fading into eagerness. I removed the rest of my clothes as he got comfortable on the mattress, his arms under his head. I knelt between his legs, trailing my fingers up the backs of his thighs. He closed his eyes and shuddered at the touch. Stop. My brain told me something about that touch bothered August and I knew, I knew I needed to be careful there. I moved on.

Hovering over his body and avoiding his ass for now, I placed open-mouthed kisses up his spine, exploring his body with my tongue. August finally relaxed for the first time since I met him. He was more vocal now; he moaned and sighed, his breath hitched when I pressed my breasts into his shoulder blades, and a small cry of delight left his throat when my fingers dipped underneath him into the hollows of his hips. His eyes remained closed.

I snuck my fingers into the waistband of his briefs, nibbling on his ribs to distract him from my hands. Leaving little lovebites on his side in my wake I inched toward his ass, peeling the fabric of his underwear off his body as I did. I sat back on my knees, admiring his physique, but August grew quiet, side-eying me as he waited to see what I would do. 

Lying between his legs, I walked my fingertips up his thighs once more, carefully observing the way August  squirmed. It was a pleasant squirm this time, not one of fear, so I kept going, spidering over the curve of his ass. My eyes may have deceived me, but for a moment I thought I noticed the ghost of a smirk on his face. Hmmm. More wet kisses graced his backside before I gently squeezed each cheek. August pushed his ass into the air and I smiled, kneading soothing circles into his flesh and licking wet trails of saliva everywhere that I could reach. 

August rotated onto his back of his own accord and I let him, knowing full well what he was after next. I kept my ministrations soft, still kissing, still worshiping the man that lay before me as I obliged him, hungrily lapping at the thick length that was between his legs. 

If I thought he’d been vocal before, that was nothing compared to the sounds August was making now. Loud groans filled the room, gasps of pleasure echoed throughout the building as I took him in my mouth, giving way to his desperate cry for more. My hands continued to worship him; they ran over his abs, through the hair on his chest, down his biceps to grasp his hips. 

August tangled his hands in my hair and gasped as I sucked him relentlessly, his eyes shut, his face scrunched in the concentrated focus of a man chasing his release. He was close, I could feel it. Come on, August. Come for me.

I swallowed him whole, constricting my throat around him and that was all he needed. With a guttural cry he came, spilling everything he had into my body. Licking off the last few drops, I kissed my way up his torso, gently nibbling on his earlobe as I lay on top of him. The rise and fall of his heaving chest was pushing me up and down like a roller coaster, and I enjoyed it. 

“That was…” August shook his head, unable to come up with any words. There was finally peace on his face, a tranquil calm that I hadn’t seen before. I smiled, continuing to kiss his neck softly as I spoke to him.

“I’m not even close to being done, August. Do you trust me?”

August nodded, looking at me in wonder. I caressed his face, leaning in to whisper in his ear.

“Then let me touch you.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Chapters: Chapter One | Chapter Two | Chapter Three | Chapter Four | Chapter Five |

Tags: @littlefreya​ @sciapod​ @thiccgeralt​ @fucking-hell-cavill​ @brexrif​ @peakygroupie​ @viking-raider​ @constip8merm8​ @daniig95​ @elinalfrida​ @hell1129-blog​ @oddsnendsfanfics​ @agniavateira​ @dearlybelovedluke​ @sofiebstar​ @wanderinglunarnights​

[podcake]

Podcasts & Structure

Every time I get around to sitting down and actually writing these articles, I have to seriously consider what I’m going to talk about. It seems the conversation of audio drama is becoming more widespread lately, oozing its way into mainstream media faster than I can keep track of. 

And so many are being made at such a rapid pace, catching up with it all can be its own challenge. A lot of people are starting to see the power and potential of audio plays and it’s a slow burn revolution I am a hundred percent behind. 

When I achieve my dreams of becoming a licensed journalist under that sweet, sweet trademark PodCake©, know that I’ll be somewhere in the front lines, keeping everyone up to the date and in the zone until I’m old and gray and still very, very pink.

So with this exciting idea in mind, I find it appropriate to do a somewhat different type of “Podcasts&”. This is still very much an article dabbling into my specific interests and experiences though also a guide of sorts to those who may be wrapped up in the creative hype. Allow me to pull you starry-eyed artists aside for some well-meaning advice. May you follow in the footsteps of your idols, though know you are above any of their common mistakes.

I had a few options in store to pick from when it came to another topic covering audio drama critique, though I felt that I wanted to address this first. This is another dabbling into the more specific structures of my podcast journalism and the consumption and creation of audio drama in general. 

In a similar vain to my latest article, “Podcasts & Critique”, I’ll be talking about something that perhaps not many are willing to discuss out in the open but is certainly touched upon enough that I feel the merits to bring it up in more depth. What we will be discussing today is the element of effective story structure.

Get comfortable, this is gonna be a long one. 

Let me start by saying that I adore and always will adore a nice, rich setting presented only through words. I adore lavishly designed dystopias and lively apocalyptic wastelands more than the next guy and the idea of a soothing, sweet voice cooing to us over a delicately designed world is a surefire way to ensure a fanbase. This is the popular set up known as The Newscaster or The Fake Radio Show or Handsome Male Character Headcannon Sitting in a Big Chair or whatever you want to call it. 

I enjoy this format namely for its simplicity and ability to relay information to the listener all while still characterizing the narrator as an active part of the world. Though these shows might be more episodic, to a degree, the ideas are still being connected by one single thread. It’s such a regular aspect of the podcast scene that it’s nothing short of being a style.

This style places a lot of emphasis on lore and quirks and memorable little moments that arrange themselves into a little audio scrapbook. We’re given this collection of information, all gorgeously described in luscious detail.

That’s why it’s such a shame how boring it can be at times. 

Don’t get me wrong here, my problem is not with interesting landscapes and rich lore, my problem is when a lot is being said but not enough is being done. 

I fell out of love with Welcome to Night Vale for this particular reason, this inconsistency with stakes and conflict that made any enjoyment to be found quickly tedious. Night Vale is and always will be a staple in the audio drama community, though it doesn’t mean we can’t learn from its mistakes that may go over our heads due to its excellent writing and characters only sometimes overshadowing it. 

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: an excellent audio drama is the sum of many parts and only succeeding in one area won’t always make the cut. But today’s topic is less about writing and more about narrative pacing…which is still kind of about writing but in a different way.

The central issue with these types of single narrator driven shows, being that we are being presented with a setting, problems, and characters who can solve that problem, but an effort is rarely ever made to get to a satisfying conclusion that is worth the wait. Of course, there actually being conflict to resolve can be its own and even more disappointing dilemma. 

A crowning example of this type of flaw occurred in what used to be  one of my favorite audio drama comedies, Kakos Industries. 

I promptly stopped listening to Kakos after a lackluster attempt at it’s first real arc after roughly fifty episodes of filler and build up that didn’t contribute much to whatever the arc was trying to get across. None of the past episodes helped create a central theme that the arc was meant to represent, making its conclusion lack any emotional stakes or a reason to get invested. 

The primary mood of the arc was all over the place with rapid character changes, unclear motivations, and a rushed explanation behind multiple episodes with little to no foreshadow to back it up. Furthermore this supposedly crucial ending didn’t tie into the continuation of season three beyond the absence of the past antagonist who was the center of the whole thing and the victim of a bloated backstory that needed way more than twenty minutes to be summarized.

No one changes from the whole ordeal, not even the protagonist who goes about his daily life as if none of it ever happened, and nobody and nothing is lost from the whole thing besides the character we already knew was bound to kick the bucket because it needed to end somehow. Generally, it does everything arc is not supposed to do as it doesn’t act as a changing phase for the story and doesn’t give us any vital information that will effect any of the characters long term.

The problem also lies in that there are a number of interesting subplots that emerged within the show’s canon as of season two: some more details about head rival  Melantha Murther that imply she may be older than she seems, the relationship she has with Corin Deeth I as well as his involvement with the company, and a theory about cloning being brought up to name a few, but we have yet to even gently nudge at these ideas yet for a good batch of episodes because we wouldn’t want all those penis jokes to go to waste.

This is content with potential to be interesting arcs on their own and functional ones as they key into new information about characters we’ve come to know and gives Kakos Industries the tension and mystery it desperately needs. 

These little bits and pieces of information can keep a listener engaged long enough to keep tuning in, but it can quickly become a chore to go back to something that seems to have been forgotten in exchange for repeated jokes and some new standalone characters that don’t really matter.

These might be in the footnotes of the creators for episode whenever, though to us they feel like throwaway lines pitched as bait more than anything of actual importance. They’re just there to be there.

And when the show peddles back to its roots of everyday shenanigans and jokes, the luster is lost, no matter how funny or well executed they might be. In the end, a lot of gimmicks and a lot of chatter with no real weight becomes nothing short of a series of filler episodes with no purpose. 

I understand that indifference and dissonant serenity is part of the Kakos Industries’ humor though it often comes at the cost of events not carrying any real weight because it’s already predetermined that it’s being treated like a joke or that things will be resolved and go back to status quo with minimal effort. It insists you don’t take it seriously even if the problem at hand would suggest otherwise. To anyone else listening, this makes the stakes nonexistent and the protagonist seem overqualified to handle any problem thrown at him, never giving him a chance to be vulnerable to the slightest misfortune. 

The same could be said for Welcome to Night Vale, a show with many compelling ideas and character drama though one that loves to meander and reestablish how strange and bizarre their world is on repeat instead of doing anything of actual substance, at least as far as season three is concerned. 

Night Vale has a much better grip on characters and conflict that Kakos Industries does, though it also suffers from some of the same problems. Night Vale also had arcs, one incredibly well done to the point it’s been considered a crowning moment of the series while another that wavered a bit too long and simply wasn’t intriguing enough to make a huge difference in the end besides being another case of the Put On the Bus trope. And when they concluded, we’re back to square one again.

Once again, we are given a lot of ripe material here: There’s instances of Cecil’s childhood that we must piece together, pretty much anything about Kevin is bound to be creepy and interesting, Carlos and his apparent involvement with a college university, and something about sleeper agents and traffic signs and blood space but I lost count.

The case here is almost as dire as this is something of a multiple choice scenario where there’s just piles and piles of plots being given to us but all of it feels for naught when something else is being added to the collection a second later.

The same way Kakos is so obsessed with its dark and sexy aesthetic to the point it under develops its characters and has an absence of stakes, Night Vale is the same with its surrealism and seems to pull the “it’s a weird show” card whenever something gets unresolved.

There comes a point where a show’s quirky nature can only be used for so long to avoid the big question about what it’s all in service of. If all the oddness has no meaning and the plots are just being pitched with no real agency, then they fail to provide the show with any real purpose.

The point of an arc ending is for another one to start later, namely by picking up leftover plot points from before or starting something else that still entwines with the story’s central lore. 

For a good example of how to manage an arc, I’d recommend Wolf 359 that has at least four in the duration of about forty episodes. I’d go into more detail about exactly what made the individual arcs in Wolf 359 work so well though that would lean heavily into spoiler territory and I wouldn’t want to ruin anything for those who haven’t listened to it yet. 

This too started as a sort of news caster from space format until it flourished into the characters offering their points of view on a scenario and developing as people as they are placed in tight spots. 

We learn more about who we’re dealing with, what is at stake, and grow invested because we never know which direction the events can take us. Wolf 359 has become so successful in its run because of the writer’s ability to admit something is amiss which gives the listeners something to anticipate rather than just tolerate. 

Listen here, I know that podcasts are all for entertainment’s sake and I will always respect that, but even something that is entertaining must have a hook-line-sinker mentality, as I like to call it:

The hook is the first impression: What made you want to listen in the first place? Did the general synopsis intrigue you? Maybe there was just an actor in the show that you really like. Simple. 

The line is the plot: This is the thing that makes you keep coming back for more. You’ve gotten comfortable with the story and its characters, you want to know as much as you can about the lore and the stakes. This is very much literally “a line” the audio drama is following and encourages you to keep up with.

The sinker is the payoff: This is where all the accumulated information you’ve gathered really matters-the climax. This is where we get the hidden motivations of characters, know about the dark secrets and figure out who the heroes and villains might be. We have a winner and a loser or at least some kind of ending, be it good or bad for the protagonists. 

Many podcasts are capable of the first two steps though tend to forget the third. And when we do forget to touch that oh-so crucial sense of conflict and resolution, it becomes the equivalent of a Breather Episode series. 

To those who don’t know, a Breather Episode is a common trope that is put into place to remind the audience that all of the past problems have concluded and we can once again revel in comedy and lighthearted fun.

I am a big fan of the this trope, it’s an implication that the past troubles of our protagonists have been dealt with and they can now relax, getting back to basics, but it’s getting back to the old grind that really matters.

We as listeners are a bit bloodthirsty, to say the least, constantly seeking out what new thing might be out to threaten the characters and disrupt their tranquility. Though in the character’s universe, and, to some extent, the writers, this is a pleasant period to soak in for a bit for just a little while. 

It is prone to overstay its welcome if the average episode is nothing to look forward to.  In short, if there’s nothing to hold on to, people will drop your story knowing it was of no loss to them.

A constant barrage of drama can be very overwhelming to the story’s ability to stay surprising and believable, so it’s good to have that even blend of “the bleeder and the breather”, as I’d like to call it, to keep things balanced. 

But Podcake, you might be saying. This is audio drama! Emphasis on audio. They’re just sounds! Why expect so much when we can’t get visual input?

And you have a point there metaphorical reader. I’m not saying every show needs this epic score, high budget, and groundbreaking editing, I actually encourage shows who rely on this minimalism to try even harder in the writing department. 

It is actually possible to have a consistent sense of tension even with limited sound effects and budget. 

A good example would be The Bright Sessions. The presentation is mostly contained in one room and only occasionally stepping outside of it to overhear conversations. Despite the format being mostly casual and calm, there is still a pressing sense of drama and conflict we keep coming back to. And when we do get “the breather” in between, it’s a welcome change until going right back to where we started.

This is because the show stands on its own two feet in the dialogue department to get their point across and let things flow naturally. No big pizzazz or flashiness, just saying what it needs to say.

And if you insist on the superb audio editing part of this, I’d say Hadron Gospel Hour is always an recommendation, as well as defining the even blend of episodic with tension combination. 

Gospel Hour is a sci-fi comedy with multiple unrelated cutaway gags and strange characters that have events in episodes that may not always be highly relevant to the next. But this has yet to cripple the storytelling since there are always connecting threads our protagonists go back to that develop their backstory or truly emphasize the dire circumstances they’ve been put in, something I’ve begun to notice in later episodes. 

And if you’re still concerned about arcs, The Once and Future Nerd has the decency to have well established and satisfying beginnings, middles, and ends to each chapter. They have a wide and vast world to explore and take any opportunities they can to remind you of the fantastical yet still dangerous and grisly setting.  

And maybe you’re really stuck on the newscaster format. Fine, I like those shows too. From here I’d highly encourage The Bridge: a show with a rather complex world, decently sized cast, and a steady increase in drama that isn’t afraid to step back from the main character’s perspective to tell a complete story.

Sorry to name drop so much in this particular document, though this is a narrative problem I’ve seen so often and so poorly I want to save anyone attempting this style from the same shortcomings. If you enjoy these shows for that exact reason, that is completely fine, though don’t be afraid to ask for something more genuine than just empty world building. 

A good story is what you make of it but a memorable story can be much more. 

[qveenpoppy]

fall trailers recap (as of 5/17)

okay, so, i didn’t watch all of the trailers that came out for new fall tv series (some just do not interest me). nonetheless, here are my thoughts on the ones i did watch:

the gifted - i am not much of an x-men person. do i have interest in the films? a little, but at this point it seems like too much to take on. however, this series does look interesting, especially considering that the two mutant teens have a father who literally locks up mutants for a living. will make for an interesting show, and like legion, i can see this being pretty popular on social media. also, hello, little lev tashi’ne! wonder how the unwind production will continue now that one of their stars has a leading tv role... hmm...

the orville - one of several trailers on this list that surprised me. anyone that follows me on my other blog knows i have become a star trek fan in the past year (blame chris pine and his stupidly handsome face - and karl urban too), so it was inevitable for me to have some interest in what is essentially a parody series. and honestly? it looks great. the set feels reminiscent of the original enterprise set from the 1960s series (in that it’s quite basic and perfect for tv), and it’s good to see seth macfarlane in something that isn’t animated for once. (he was surprisingly lovable in sing, though, if i’m being honest.) i laughed quite a few times during this trailer, and i can definitely see myself giving this series a try. (i’ll have to play catch-up the following day, though, since its broadcast conflicts with this is us!)

ghosted - more parody series! this time more along the lines of x-files, a show i never watched. this gave me a feel of that with a dash of ghostbusters, and it feels a little... i don’t know, cheesy? the two leads seem okay and the trailer had its moments, but i’ll pass on this one. (fox comedies do tend to fall flat for me...)

will & grace - not exactly a new series, but still a series i wanted to comment on. the trailer was amusing (hello singing agent maclaren, lol), but did make me wonder if this reboot could work. while i love the original series, times have changed since it first aired. gay is a bit more normal, especially on tv. most shows will feature at least one lgbtq+ character nowadays, so the uniqueness of will & grace isn’t there anymore. it just feels like any other show on tv. will original viewers of the series still tune in? probably. but don’t expect it to be as buzzed about as reboots like x-files or gilmore girls. will & grace is a great sitcom that probably should have been left alone as is.

deception - i was interest in this series just when i read about it getting a series order, so i was highly anticipating the trailer. it’s tv’s now you see me, basically, except the magician works for the law. (considering the fact that a producer on the series is in fact associated with the nysm franchise, i would love for there to be implications of a shared universe.) otherwise, it feels like any other procedural out there now, with the man having some ability that makes him more capable of solving crimes. this may be bc the partner is a woc, but it vaguely reminds me of minority report... i do mean vaguely. it just follows the same formula.

the good doctor - another trailer that surprised me. in my eyes, it feels like limitless (hello boyle!) meets house. it looks really good. something i can 100% see myself trying come fall. it does help that the lead actor, freddie highmore, is someone i’ve seen in films since even he was a child. (charlie and the chocolate factory ring a bell? that movie was terrible, but he was a cute kid actor.) i have seen some people complain a little that he’s playing an autistic doctor but doesn’t have autism himself in real life, and i do see why that would be a problem. still, i think that makes it even more of a challenge for him to get that part of the character right, and therefore show off more of his talent. if they make mistakes along the way with how they portray autism, then we really have a problem.

the alienist - you all know why i watched this trailer. luke evans, the current love of my life (he’s gorgeous and ridiculously talented and oh so sweet, okay?), is a lead on this series. (it’s surprising to see him go to tv considering that his film career is just continuing to blossom, but tv has adopted a lot of film stars lately - hbo’s big little lies has a bunch of them - so maybe i shouldn’t be so surprised.) that probably has a lot to do with why i liked the trailer, bc it’s normally not my kind of show. but the period drama aspect gives me flashbacks to the past (not present day) scenes of forever and time after time, so i can potentially give this show a try. it is an event series, so it can’t hurt too much to get into considering it won’t last long, meaning not a lot to dedicate myself to. heck, i could probably wait to binge the season over two days. but we’ll see, bc dan stevens’ tv run creeped me out, so this could do the same.

star trek: discovery - again, i like star trek. a lot. so this series does interest me a little. can’t say i will watch it, though, bc the prequel aspect just loses me. i’d probably be more interested if it were just like the original series and featured kirk or spock - even in quick cameo roles. but ten years before the events of the original series? yeah, count me out. i do support its diverse cast, and for a tv series, the effects are, no pun intended, out of this world. i cannot believe the budget they must have had for this show.

9jkl - i’m pretty sure i clicked play on this trailer by accident. but holy crap, i’m so glad i watched it. it looks like a hilarious sitcom, which is surprising considering how campy other cbs sitcoms tend to feel. a comment-er on the trailer says this feels campy too, but i don’t think so. the basic plot, with an actor living back home with his parents - though said home is actually an apartment next door - does sound a little cheesy, but the humor is good. a bit risque considering all the sex references, but surprisingly funny. i do recognize two actors on the show (i don’t know names, sorry!) - one is ross and monica’s father from friends, and i believe the other was the lead on about a boy? anyway, i don’t watch a lot of sitcoms, but i’ll definitely try this one - i didn’t give the cbs schedule much of a look, so i’ll have to make sure this is on at a time that works for me!

me, myself, and i - one youtube comment-er described this show perfectly: “it’s like the wonder years meets this is us”. i definitely get that sort of feel from this show. it’ll be interesting to watch these three different timelines all move at once, considering that there are characters besides the lead who we’ll see in the future while we simultaneously watch their past unfold. (like the lead’s daughter - there’ll probably be a lot of foreshadowing regarding her future career that we’ll already see turning out in the future portions of the show.) but i do like that connection between past and future with the crush. i wonder if that girl will pop up at all in the present day timeline. i’m a fan of bobby moynihan’s from snl, so i’m happy to see him branching out. and i’m also so ready to root for that child actor from the past portion of the show. he seems quite charming, adorable, and talented.

young sheldon - never saw an episode of big bang theory. however, this was trending on twitter for a while today, so i got curious. it started off feeling a bit cheesy and like a hallmark film, but the more i watched, the more heart it had. it wasn’t overly funny, but it was cute. and this must be the year of the child actor, bc man, a star is being born here. this does give me a little bit of forest gump vibes, except sheldon is actually a genius. maybe it’s more his behavior, which i’m assuming is Asperger or something, that has me giving that comparison. i probably won’t watch this one, but i’ll root for it to succeed.

[madomadotsuki]

@buddynikki cont. { ❦ }

[* WindoWatcher☂ has posted; 2:12 AM]:

[txt] That’s where I was going to add. It wouldn’t make a difference whether the matter is beneficial or not if you’ll be missing him the whole time.

[txt] I won’t be the person to coat your pain in sugar and hope for fortified worth of the wait. If anything, I’ll be real with you. You’re hurting. You’re hurting because someone you wouldn’t trade for all the stars in the sky will be gone from your reach. Your dad is someone who loves you, who has done their best despite their errors to give you the best life they can.

[txt] I don’t doubt that you consider this helpful for him by any means, it’s just tough on you to know in order to seek his better position you would have to face a hurtful obstacle in the way. Trust me, I’ve felt like death about a situation close to this.

[txt] I’m sure that your father is up in shambles about you as well, and I know that this sort of conundrum is highly discouraging, but in the event that he does last there for a notable while, I’m sure that there would be an ounce of hope in him to believe that you’re a strong kid who can power through this in the end. Consider that you have a chance to look back on this in the future and may it give you strength to overcome something even more tragic.

[txt] That probably sounds like white noise to you at this point, needless to say you’ve received this spiel more times than I could count on my fingers. Perhaps if you are looking for a more active recommendation, I do believe that rehab centers accept letters to their clients if partial communication can put you at ease.

[txt] As for my neck of the woods I’ve been dealing with some family crap myself, with the addition that someone up and stole my diary as an April Fool’s joke and I’m up in ends livid about the whole deal. I’m still on the hunt to find it but I haven’t gotten any leads. It might be my bestie’s doing but I haven’t gotten the chance to pester her about it yet

[⌘]– [ * WindowMoon🌙 has posted; 01:13 AM]:

[txt] its conflicting and it’s only further killing me inside

[txt] im here, wishing he was here, that he didnt left, that he wasnt gone. that he was with me. but that would mean he wouldnt be able to go get his help.  its selfish of me to wish he stayed in sacrifice of his own wellbeing

[txt] he admitted that the day prior to his ultimate decision to go to rehab he had actually planned out a suicide attempt. this decision was much more of a critical emergency needed than whether or not i can last on my end [txt] ive already started to spiral down since day 1. im definitely not going to get any better

[txt] and im so far away from home now too. are you aware of the multiverse theory? well, it is real. and im currently camping tossed in a whole other universe under the care of a friend of Dad’s. he and everyone else here are really nice and all but-- its not home. it doesnt feel like home. i feel so homeless and desolate. im surrounded by these cool people, but ive never felt so freaking alone in the world in a very long time, none of them feel like anything close to home. nothing in here does

[txt] things have started to feel very... detached too, and distant, and i cant tell if its me or everything/everyone else around me

[txt] the more time, the less im capable of even telling whats real and whats... dream. in fact ive resorted to do nothing but sleep pretty much. watch me try to sleep days or even weeks away. im surprised that i didnt become one with this bed yet even though even it doesnt feel like home despite still being comfortable. not sure if its a “madotsuki thing’ but as of now id rather live in my dreams and forget everything else. at least there he can still be there with me. there is the closest to alright and the closest to home that i can have now. you know what i mean, given youre a madotsuki too [txt] if i could i would simply sleep all the way until this is over, but i think i would have to be in a coma for that

[txt] dang, i feel like im about to cry again. i dont feel like having Ace or Paige or anyone else here come over and hammer me with the same sweet lies that Dad will be back “very soon” or that “everything’s okay” and waste their time to get my crybaby self to calm down when they could actually be doing something productive instead

[txt] ...

[txt] oh my god. so the diary thing is a “madotsuki thing” too huh. i know how you feel. i would go up the walls if someone took my diary too, especially without my consent. god forbid if anyone read it-- haha ahha id probably instantly be seen as schizophrenic. i really hope you find yours as soon as possible, and i hope even more so that nobody has read it in the meanwhile either.

[txt] i have mine with me right now, but i havent had motivation even to write on it anymore. i keep it on my person majority of the time, and when im not i always hide it in my the room, and constantly change where in the room i hide it. makes finding it very harder for others aside from yourself

[txt] you seem to be doing better than i am right now. im not saying your situation’s easier or harder than mine, but at least you are a strong madotsuki

[txt] im not going to sugarcoat you either. all i can do in my current state is hope and look forward that things will find their places eventually on your end