#crackscripts

[mamamangaka]

-Angel and Husk at the bar together after finally confessing their feelings the night prior-

Angel: *joking* so where’s my ring then?

Husk: *pouring shots* eh? I dunno, what kind ya want?

Angel: *laughing, being his usual self* oh I dunno, maybe a diamond

Husk: kay

Angel: *comes back from work later that night* hey kitty cat

Husk: there you are. here *hands him black box*

Angel: what’s this?

Husk: what you wanted *opens it and slips on the diamond solitaire*

Angel: *speechless for once*

Husk: *drinks*

Angel: yes

Husk: what?

Angel: fuck yeah I’m gonna marry you

Husk: when the fuck did you think I was gonna give you a choice??

Angel: *aroused*

[copwef]

I doubt anyone will, but if you wanna use this just message me and credit me!

[trylonandperisphere]

OK, Wynonna died for 77 seconds, rebooting the Earp curse and bringing Bobo back. Does that also mean that, à la Buffy, she activated the next heir? 

Picture this: season finale. Wynonna is in labour. Reverend Clootie has been exhumed. They fight. He stabs her in the stomach. She falls to the ground, dropping peacemaker, bleeding... and then... 

A tiny hand emerges from her stomach wound. It picks up peacemaker with supernatural baby strength and aims it at Clootie. Peacemaker glows. It fires. 

Wynonna: "Holy shit!" 

[mamamangaka]

Angel: *dresses up in drag and looks fucking gorgeous*

Husk: babe wow you’re so pretty — *squints, noticing the irritation in his eyes from the false lashes* wtf? why are you wearing all that if it bothers you?!

- HOME, HRS LATER -

Angel: *wearing sweatpants and no make up, scratching stomach and yawning*

Husk: babe you’re so fucking pretty holy shit

[mamamangaka]

Angel Dust: *storms downstairs* HUSKER

Husk: *visibly panicking* yeah babe?

Angel Dust: WHERE is our SON?

Husk: oh! uh, I thought you had him? he didn’t come downstairs with me this morning so I figured he was with you.

Angel Dust: *frustrated growl before leaving the room and investigating elsewhere*

Husk: phew, that was close. you better hurry up and go meet your mom before he kills me.

Fat Nuggets: *happily eating all the loose peanuts and snacks off the floor behind the bar so Husk doesn’t have to vacuum*

[mamamangaka]

Husk: *drying the glasses behind the bar*

Valentino: *walks in to get angel*

Husk: oh not your stupid ass

Valentino: huh? wh-

Husk: *breaks beer mug, jumps over the counter and gouges out Valentinos eyes*

Angel: *comes in hrs later* ayyye Husky, I haven’t heard from Val so I guess I don’t work tonight, wanna ha— what is all over you?

Husk: *covered in blood, cleaning the bar* I ruined the tomato sauce. let’s go out for dinner.

[mamamangaka]

Arackniss: so since you’re dating my brother -

Husk: married to him, thanks, but keep going.

Arackniss: - don’t you think you should meet our father?

Husk: I don’t care either way, I just don’t wanna hear your old man bitch when Angel calls me daddy.

Arackniss: I hate this fucking family.

[mamamangaka]

Vaggie: so what’s your favorite thing about Angel?

Husk: hm? oh, his personality

Vaggie: the truth, Husk.

Husk: bitch?! It is?! Okay fine, how about his smile?

Vaggie: *scoffs* corny ass liar

Husk: …

Vaggie: …

Husk: ….legs

Vaggie: thereeee ya go

[mamamangaka]

Husk: did you see how pretty Angel is today?

Crymini: *sees angel in lounge clothes, scratching his chest, half asleep on the couch in the lobby*

Crymini: he looks like he hasn’t put on makeup and doesn’t give a shit

Husk: god I know, holy fuck he’s such a tease —

[mamamangaka]

Travis: *approaching Husk at the bar* uh so are you and Angel like —

Husk: yes, don’t touch him

Travis: at least that explains why he pushed me down the stairs when I tried to flirt with him

[mamamangaka]

Arackniss: you’ve pretty quiet since I’ve been here Tony

Angel Dust: I haven’t had meth, coke or crack in over six months.

Arackniss: what?! why!?

Angel: *shrug* been busy doin’ other things

Arackniss: *glances at Husk*

Husk: *looks up, flips Arackniss off*

Arackniss: so are you sober like, a better person sober or as in you’re still the same violent asshole you always were while sober?

Angel: fuck around and find out, ya little bitch

Husk: *aroused*

[mamamangaka]

Charlie: how do you like the hotel so far?

Arackniss: I’d like it a lot more if you kept my psycho brother in a fucking cage.

Charlie: Angel?? Pfft, come on.

Arackniss: between the possessive bar cat he married, the late night “activities” they got goin’, and Tony’s bullshit pranks, i’m startin’ to think I was better off on the streets.

Charlie: you don’t mean that. Angel is wonderful. He’s such a sweetheart.

Angel: *currently upstairs hiding his porcelain dolls in various places around Arackniss’s bedroom to make him shit his pants in fear*

Arackniss: oh yeah. Hes fucking great.

[mamamangaka]

Husk: I made you a paper rose

Angel: oh huskyyy🥹❤️ *cherishes it*

Valentino: I bought you roses and drugs

Angel: *throws them out the window*

[mamamangaka]

Husk: *beer bottle on the floor while sitting dejectedly on the sofa*

Vaggie: what’s up with you?

Charlie: Angel went out to get groceries.

Vaggie: okay?

Charlie: and the kids wanted to go with him.

Vaggie: … okay??

Husk: *turns on the tv to sad pirate tunes*

Charlie: I think he has separation anxiety

Vaggie: I think he’s a cat

[mamamangaka]

Alastor: our effeminate fellow has certainly risen above what we all expected, especially since the twins

Husk: *washing a glass nonchalantly while Moscato plays with Fat Nuggets on the floor* uh-huh

Alastor: quite redeeming, if I do say so myself. why, one could even have him on their arm at a banquet-

Husk: I’ll fucking kill you so help me fuck—

Alastor: what?

Husk: what?

[mamamangaka]

Husk: *drunk af at 7am*

Vaggie: why are you trashed????

Husk: I’m drinking for two now

Vaggie: you aren’t the one who’s pregnant?? Angel is! and you can’t drink while pregnant anyway!

Husk: I know and I know. But Angel can’t drink and he’s sad about it so I’m taking one for the team here.

Vaggie: … way to go, champ.