#crenty

[eusoufunf]

verdade sem desafio 41

Me arrependo um pouco. Mas dos que eu me arrependi, evitei encontrar novamente.

Já falei da gay que veio para minha casa, transamos e na hora de ir embora eu vi o adesivo no carro dele em apoio a Bozo22. Na hora que eu vi isso no carro dele, já me bateu o arrependimento. Mas nunca mais fiquei com ele.

Mas teve um rapaz de 2015 que é até hoje um arrependimento. Não quero associar ele ao signo, pois não seria digno. Estão, vamos chamá-lo de Fuleiro.

Abrindo o dicionário:

que ou aquele que age irresponsavelmente, sem seriedade; que ou quem não se mostra confiável.

que ou o que não tem valor, que ou o que é medíocre, reles.

O Fuleiro era discreto e fora do meio, se dizia evangélico. Vinha até mim falando que queria algo sério, um relacionamento fechado e discreto. E só não me assumia por ainda morar com os pais e por ser crenty.

Aparecia na minha casa em momentos aleatórios, às vezes trazia cerveja e a famoso cigarrilha do artista.

Me iludiu dizendo que queria ficar comigo por muitos anos e que eu era uma pessoa incrível.

Eu caí no papinho dele por causa do meu ego inflado e por achar ele belíssimo 5/5, sim sou fútil ao ponto de me permitir passar por isso apenas pela beleza.

Menos de 1,70 de altura.

Gordinho.

Tatuado.

Usa óculos.

Signo que eu admiro.

Eu ia me aproximando aos poucos e nunca encontrei ele em nenhuma rede social. Até que um dia, nós ficamos e quando ele foi tomar banho eu mexi na carteira dele e peguei a identidade.

Descobri que ele me deu um nome falso. Joguei o nome verdadeiro dele no Facebook e Instagram e descobri umas coisas.

Além do nome falso, vi no Facebook dele que ele tinha uma namorada há mais de dois anos. E no Instagram dele, tinha umas dez gays que eram seguidores em comum. As fotos cheia de curtidas de viado. E ainda tinha um perfil com o mesmo nome, só que perfil fechado.

No Facebook era santinho da igreja. No Instagram uma biscoiteira gls.

Depois de descobrir tudo isso eu deixei ele vir pela última vez, para termos o sexo de despedida. E quando ele saiu da minha casa, eu o confrontei e falei que eu descobri toda a verdade. 

Ele tentou desconversar, falou que comigo era diferente. Mas eu não aceitei as desculpas, e tenho certeza que ele fazia isso com mais gays iludidas.

Esse é um dos meus arrependimentos, mas evito pensar muito nisso, mas serviu pra eu ficar mais atendo com gays evangélicas. São as mais safadas.

[cr3ntist]

Hiya!! Welcome to my little corner of mischief. My name is Hal! you can also call me crentist or crenty!

my pronouns are he/him/it/its

i am a minor. please do not be gross.

if you’re an NSFW/18+ blog please keep in mind i am a minor. i don’t have a *problem* with you, and if interactions are SFW it’s ok, please just keep in mind that i am a minor.

however i have zero problem with adults following me

my art tag is #jester draws things

and for my inane babbles it’s #jester speaks

i love computers, androids and retro tech let me give them kisses..

please check out my carrd! i put a lot of work into it and it’s rather informative

https://complove.carrd.co/

[creepy-bi-day]

i been playing dol and AAAAAA im crenty sooking wet in game oops-jay

Jshdfajksfhd

JAY MOOD

THATS A MOOD

[gemstone-gynoid]

Team Fortress 2 has some of the best, most iconic shorts in video game history. I mean sure, in Halo you got good graphics, and in Overmunch you have two women in skin tight clothing fighting each other.. Not like I haven’t seen that before on the internet like a hundred times... (Pretty sure I have that book marked actually..) Meanwhile, in Team Fortress 2 animated shorts.. You got people pissin’ in jars, people’s heads getting blown off, looking into gaping holes in people’s bodies to see hell itself, and you see birds.. The last 50 years, the movies have starred the nine playable classes of Team Fortress 2, and Elizabeth from Bioshock Infinite wearing glasses. The first film starts off with the main character: Pootis. Basically sitting down and telling us we’re in for a BuMpY RiDE and also if anyone touches his gun, they’ll be fined 35$ and he’ll come over to your house and punch your lights out if you know what I’m sayin’. This short reveals that Pooter is more than just a disproportionate russian guy, he’s actually an intellectual that can do advanced trigonometry as well as high level mathematical calculations that he often uses to contemplate the human race’s existence… BUT FUCK THAT he’s gonna shoot everyone with his big ol’ machine gun! Next up we meet Private Ryan, a loud guy with a bazooka who hires Michael J. Fox to follow him around on the battlefield to film him shootin’ people, which is historically known as the most gruesome war ever fought on TF2 soil. This guy’s crazy, he thinks his grenades are little dolls and makes up stories of them walkin’ around and.. Oh. Oh. Oh this game is rated M for mature guys don’t look at this. The movie ends with Ryan remembering this one epic time that he got a random crit and then taunted afterwards, and an unforeseen twist that no one saw coming; it turns out that who he was talking to the entire movie… Was all a bunch of severed heads. O MY GOD, I give Shaving Private Ryan; 5 bags of popcorn. Just an amazing film. In the sequel we’re introduced to my personal favorite character: Hardhat Jones. Ya know I love this guy because he plays guitar, and I LOVE GUITAR. Some of my favorite musics, have guitars in em’. Um he spent the entire video taking song requests from audience. “Play Stairway to Heaven!” “NO!” “REVER! REVER! REVER!” “SHUT THE FUCK UP!”. Little does the crowd know that Hardhat Jones doesn’t take requests, and he only plays songs from the greatest band of all time; Coheed and Cambria. Coheed and Cambria starts playing Next up we meet Pirate, he’s just an old salty dog. Always walkin’ around like “Why’s the rum gone?” and basically just lookin’ for that booty, “Arg! Ya know why they call me Pirate? ‘Cause I’ll make ye walk the plank!”. All of a sudden he sees his friends walk around the corner and he’s like “Oh no! I told Stacy I couldn’t go to the mall because I had to study for geometry!” So he books it out of there to avoid that late awkward moment but it’s too late. Stacy and the gang catches up to him and are all like “I thought you said you couldn’t go to the mall??” “MALL THIS FUCKERS!” and they ALL DIE because Pirate will literally kill people to get out of an awkward conversation. Next movie there’s this guy called Boston, who goes on an undercover secret mission to the enemy castle. Somehow dodging bullets from a sentry gun (despite them supposed to have perfect aim and tracking..) and then he wrestles Pootis for a baloney sandwich. Umm what happens next is a.. Spoiler alert if you haven’t seen The Adventures of Boston the Rise of the Quick Fast Boy Wonder!” I highly suggest you turn the video off now, so okay you have been warned. So in the end of the movie he gets the baloney sandwich. some Brookyln song? The short that came right after that one is about everyone’s favorite sitcom dad: William Cheese! Who drives around spyin’ on people undressing through their open windows like a big ol’ perv. When asked why he only looks at men undressing he’s like “I’m not gay I swear! I can just appreciate the male physique!” But nobody buys it and he calls his dad and he’s like “DAd! Everyone thinks I’m gay! What to I dO!?” and his dad is all like “Son, you ARE gay.” YMCA starts playing The next short is the very first sponsored TF2 short, this one is funded by McDonalds to star everyone’s favorite meal stealer: The Hamburglar! In this movie, The Hamburglar tells an epic tale about the time he went to go find the Secret Cheeseburger of Lost Legend in which he fights Billy Cheese who is actually the holder of the Cheese Key. That’ll get him to the Cheddar Dungeon, with the dungeon master none other than Hardhat Jones! And The Hamburglar is all like “I’d like to make a request, DIE!” and then he fights the final boss the evil Dr. Crentist! Who is the master of karate, but then the hand man does a karate chop that steals the doctors face! And kills him in one hit, and steals the special glasses that’ll let him see the map to the Secret Cheeseburger of Lost Legend. When Hamburglar gets to the good part, Private Ryan is all like “This story SUCKS!” and he blows his FUCKIN’ HEAD OFF. “Well, I guess he should have ordered the Happy Meal.” Movie credits After that film received world wide critical acclaim, audiences demanded a spin off featuring evil Dr. Crentis. So next up we got Dr. Crentist: Origins, the doctor tricks Pootis into getting on his massage table and does EVIL experiments on him while the big dummy just watches him and doesn’t even care because all he can think about doing is shooting his big ol’ machine gun. “Ah I’ll just plug this night light into your heart so you’ll have a brighter heart okay?” “DUH okay DUH” “Uhh I don’t think that’s a good idea.” “SHUT UP PIGEON! HAHAHAHA! LET’s GO GET A CHEESEBURGER!” Yeah turns out this one was also sponsored by McDonalds, so Dr. Crentis and Pooter-9000 with his new robo heart and go outside to get their ass to Mickey Ds because they got hella munchies! “DR CRENTIS! SUPERSIZE ME DOOD!” “I GOTCHU FAM!” Making Medicine cover starts playing *“I’M GONNA GET A CHEESEBURGER!” *and that’ll be 5.99 at the second window The next movie is all about the backstory of one of TF2’s most beloved characters: The Gas Man. “I used to remember when the Gas Man was cool, he used to give me candy.” “One time, The Gas Man said my mask looked really nice, I almost cried because it was the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me.” “Uh, I’m scared of The Gas Man because he used to be nice, but now he’s meeaan.” In reality The Gas Man is a really cool guy, he just runs around blowing bubbles at people’s faces and locking them up in airtight presents. Gas Man turns out to be one of the most misunderstood characters in the whole franchise because people give him shit all the time because he thinks Pinky Pie is the best pony. WHAT ARE YOU STUPID?! AppleJack is obviously the best pony. After we got all the origin stories out the way we get our very first TV movie called: Christmas with the Yanks where Pootis gets to experience his first winter wonderland. sniff sniff “What’s that smell? It smells like… A SNOWBALL FIGHT!” Pootis then recruits his best friend Boston for his snowball team because everyone in school knows that Boston can throw a snowball better than anyone else in the Fourth Grade. Then they walk really really slowly to Private Ryan and Pirate house to totally beat them with a snowball surprise. Uh oh! But guess what? The prank is actually not real and you guys are invited to our snowball team! “Oh my god you got us real good.” So they keep walking around as slowly as humanly possible recruiting other members along the way so they can have the most epic snowball fight team on the block. Finally they see a big ol’ tank full of the neighboring school’s snowball team. “Come on out ya cowards. Show us what ye got ya big dorks!” EEEEEEEEEEHHHHHH COUHHHH Mann vs Machine starts playing * “Oh hoho, now you fucked up. Now you gon be fuckin’ OWNED! WE THE MASTERS OF SNOWBALL FIGHTS BITCHES, AND WE COMIN’ FOR YOU!” *Pootis screech

[edynho80]

Agora pra vc, CRENTY que parou de ler a Bíblia e só escuta o falso Messias... (em Paraíba) https://www.instagram.com/p/B-Nx3UnniqA/?igshid=1ka8ua2eayh4j

[ifelsfg]

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[eusoufunf]

verdade sem desafio 46

Parque Areião, Goiânia, 2013.

Mas eu jurava que daria o meu primeiro beijo em 2011, na cidade de Barra-do-Corda, quando eu estava no ensino médio, quando eu pulava o muro da escola para ir em uma praça.

Em 2011 eu estudava no período da noite e fiquei apaixonadinho por um garoto. Aos poucos fui fazendo parte do grupo da minha escola, grupo esse que ele participava. Fiquei tão envolvido com esse grupo que eu cheguei a pular o muro da escola várias vezes para ir a praça esperar o horário de aula acabar, às vezes íamos para o rio da cidade beber e fumar. Mas eu era crenty.

Em 2013 mudei para Goiânia, tinha acabado de completar 18 anos, estava bem ninfeta. Comecei a conversar com uns rapazes no aplicativo roxinho e encontrei um escorpiano. Ficamos por dias conversando até que eu fiquei de folga e marcamos de nos encontrar. Fomos assistir um filme, do filme fomos ao zoológico, depois disso andamos um pouco pela cidade e fomos no Parque Areião, estava começando a anoitecer e nós ficamos se beijando até anoitecer. Meu primeiro beijo de língua foi com um escorpiano. Não foi bom, mas foi ótimo.