#ctechnoblade

[waddei]

we got potatoes!

[possuminnit]

This is somewhat a redraw but that isn't important

[justcallme-ange]

I see no difference

[winniezp00h]

Its giving c!Bedrock Bros 😞

[lookinghalfacorpse]

/dsmp /rp

cuddling with dream and the many possibilities, scenarios, and obstacles you may encounter. don't let him read this. a guide by technoblade.

i'm about to blow your minds with how complex this is. i'm a master at my art (sleeping), alright? i'm an experienced craftsman (at sleeping), i perform at my best in all locations (with naps, mostly) (yes, even in the obsidian box), and i'm very good at cuddling. i'm practically built for it. i would never, ever think about writing a guide about how to cuddle with philza minecraft (or anyone else, really), but this squirmy little guy is different.

-the best approach is the Sudden Drop. walk over to him, no matter what he's doin, and just drop onto him and stay there. spare no body weight. he'll probably think it's a bit funny, and that's why it's the best one. he's more likely to humor something if it's a good bit, and having a giant piglin treat you like a sofa cushion is a GREAT bit. he'll laugh.

-(the second best approach is when he's upset or panicking or crying, and you can see him grabbing onto himself. normally that means... idk, that he wants held? Or he wants to hold something? i'll sit down, slowly, and wrap 'im up. he'll latch onto me. hard. fingers twisting my fur-- the whole nine yards)

-otherwise, he's shy with his hands. a few times now, i've grabbed his hands and put them somewhere on me because he was just, like, hovering them awkwardly. like, cmon, man. i'm laying my whole body on you, what part of your hands do you think is gonna bother me.

-but, come to think of it, sometimes he's afraid of my hands, too. if i move them in the middle of the night. if i lay them somewhere sensitive, like his sides or the small of his back.

-another scenario: he might approach me, too. i thought it'd never happen. you know that feeling with the stray dog is finally close enough to sniff your hand and you stay super still so you don't scare it? That's how i felt. he normally just walks over and leans on my shoulder, and i still can't tell if that's all he wants or if he's asking me for a better cuddle. more experimentation is needed here.

-location is key! in all scenarios, near the wall is best. i think of myself as a secondary wall and kinda close him in- if sam were lookin', he'd only see me.

-(he's so little. he's SO little. was he always this thin? i'm gonna crush the kid.)

-expect the unexpected. sometimes he'll hit you. sometimes he'll start to cry, and sometimes that means you need to let him go, and sometimes that means you need to hold tighter. it's complicated. but everyone needs it, especially dudes bein tortured in a box, so it's worth the effort.

-(sometimes i need it, too. i'll admit it, i'm scared.)

[ashtreeeee]

two silly technoblade sketches. love them, love him

[if-loki-was-a-fox]

Technoread

[csueno]

technoblade probably told him a butchered up version of the myth

[sugarloaf17]

Techno coming across an older Tommy after the dsmp is long gone and mistaking him for a young Philza missing his wings

[ranmaruliker]

[sioster]

Techno doodles (: how much more narrow his snout can get? yes.

[waddei]

bust a move!

[possuminnit]

this is canon. btw

[justcallme-ange]

This was mostly an excuse to draw doggos, but I thought it'd be fun for the rivals to have a similar exchange to Dream and George.

[lookinghalfacorpse]

to be clear, c!techno is absolutely MASSIVE in my mind. im talking 8-9ft tall, built like a wall, too big to fit into a starter base. everyone cranes their necks to talk to this guy, he can shield you from the sun with the shadow he casts, etc. also looks scary despite his size-- covered in ancient scars, painful-looking piercings that he probably didn't even flinch at. (and then you talk to him, and you discover that he's a goofball and a softie)

which only makes it funnier that A) tinyboy c!quackity, famous for biting off more than he can chew and doing Entirely Too Much, declares THAT as his mortal enemy and gathers a small army of (mostly) humans to defeat him B) c!dream, a talented guy but still Just A Guy, declares THAT as his rival (and, understandably, is terrified of falling out of his favor) C) c!techno downs a bunch of speed potions before major battles because if these dumb tiny fucks are gonna get an edge over him in any way it's gonna be because they're faster

[drmslastmorning]

I like it when you like yourself.

Characters: Dream, Technoblade

Words: 4.7k (one-shot)

Warnings: Mentions of past sexual abuse, some hallucinations and panic attacks.

A long time after Dream escapes Pandora and settles in with Technoblade, he comes down with a bad cold.