#cullen analysis

[breathetoseethetruth]

Entirely random Twilight take: I always thought it was sad, how much Bella as a vampire was just entirely written off as a Mary Sue by many, because to me it showed, how little anyone paid attention to what the narrative told us about her as an individual character.

Bella is so good at being a vampire, because she so thoroughly wanted to be one. Because a vampire was what she was always meant to be. It was her destiny, as well as her own chosen destiny. She's the only Cullen, who actually made the choice to be a vampire. She doesn't yearn for humanity like say Rosalie or Edward, because she was born as the wrong species.

The narrative establishes how unhappy she is with being human (even though Bella herself initially couldn't really recognize that that's what it was, as she wasn't an inherent believer into anything supernatural at first), even before she meets Edward. We are shown how clumsy she is in her human body, because this isn't the form she's meant to have.

She's as enamored with Vampirism itself (the beauty, powers, benefits, immortality) as she is with Edward, as we see her repeatedly romanticize Vampirism, even separately from Edward, in the books. I'd go as far as saying, that she would have wanted to become a vampire, even if she hadn't fallen in love with Edward.

This is probably the most interesting aspect about her, yet it flew over so many people's heads, even though this probably would have made her more intriguing to many of said people.

We rarely see this in protagonists and heroes in mainstream media: actively seeking out power (and immortality) like that. Many of them actually prefer a mundane life (well, the "status quo", really) and have powers happen to them against their will, or they reluctantly accept power or positions of power for the greater good. The hero or protagonist, is supposed to be humble and reject power, to prove they are good and worthy. The fact that the female main character of Twilight, of all characters, went against this stereotype, makes the supposedly "bland" Bella rather interesting to me.

"My time as a human was over, but I never felt more alive."

"After 18 years of being utterly ordinary, I finally found I could shine. I was born to be a vampire."

[thoughtspresso]

Aqua plans to die.

And his death will be necessary to take Kamiki down.

While the full details of Aqua’s revenge plan isn’t entirely clear to all of us yet, his intention to place himself in danger as he tries to take Kamiki down is a very clear, and very crucial part of the plot that he anticipates.

Before we can dive into how Aqua is going to achieve his revenge, we need to back up a little bit and understand who he is as a person, how he makes decisions, and what he personally wants.

What is Aqua’s Goal?

From a top-level view, Aqua has a singular emotional goal:

Aqua wishes to take responsibility for the deaths of his mothers.

Aqua/Gorou absolutely believes that after two lives of the same thing, that he was the common denominator. He was the fault his mothers both died, because he was useless and helpless. Had he never been conceived, and more crucially, if his mothers did not have to lie about his existence, they would have both stayed alive. If Gorou’s mom didn’t have to conceal the pregnancy from her parents, or did not have one at all, she would have lived a long life. He believes that perhaps his second chance at life was to save Ai, but he was paralyzed and helpless during her murder. He blames himself for Ai’s death too.

This is a driving force in Aqua’s character, and informs all of his decision making, even to the detriment of his own plans most times. It leads us to his supplementary goal:

Aqua wants to keep the people he loves safe.

Whether it was shielding Ruby from entertainment or making sure she’s in a safe agency with good group members, or Akane not going too far in enacting his revenge plot for him, or Kana from steering clear of a career-ending love scandal, Aqua’s key traumas has led him to feel compelled to take action and do whatever it takes to save people if he had the power to do so.

Here is a breakdown of Aqua’s plans, and some key questions we have to ask about each one.

1. Why make a movie called The 15-Year Lie? And what is “Ai’s true wish”?

I have reason to believe that Ai’s DVD for Aqua would have either been a message about wishing to be loved truly and be hated with full honesty for the person she really was, that she wanted her actual self to be revealed to people. In line with that, I think Aqua’s DVD included Gotanda’s original documentary for the B-Komachi dome event. Which is why Gotanda tried to defend Aqua's decision to reveal her secret in chapter 112, and why in chapter 108 Gotanda says about the script that “this is finally my time to fulfill that promise.”

2. What does he mean by “using Arima Kana”?

There were theories circulating that the person who texted Frill Shiranui could have been Aqua, trying to get her to encourage Ruby to play the role of Ai in the film. However, that couldn’t be any farther from the truth. As we know, Aqua was saying that Gotanda should “grow up” and understand that the most important thing for a movie is to succeed commercially first before we talk about artistic value. 

If Aqua had full control over the situation, he would have just straight up casted Akane. After all, that was what he initially proposed, and even contacted her for it despite saying he’ll never have anything to do with her again. What he needed, more than anything, was for the film to succeed commercially. And with the headlining actress no longer (a) the most famous celebrity of their generation, or (b) the heralded genius of their generation, Aqua has no other options.

Except: Arima Kana.

I think the aspect of him using her or manipulating her is mainly to encourage her publicity activities. He’ll be encouraging her to do well in her work to garner more star power for the movie to really be a success, and for her to help his sister be the perfect lead for the show. He’s also going to bank on the idea that Kana will do things for him because she has a crush on him, which he only realized in Chapter 102 after Mem-cho points it out, that he can pursuade Kana to get out of the way of his revenge plot if necessary to keep her safe or place her in the spotlight to attract people’s attention for the movie.

While unlikely, he might even encourage her to stay on a little longer until Ruby gets to the Dome performance.

Or, and maybe this is my shipping delulu talking, but it can also be that he’ll try to just be around her frequently to garner media attention about their relationship. In this way, keeping her close without actually dating her could serve a dual purpose: get people talking about them and the movie, but also make sure that Kana stays safe and nobody makes a rumor of pairing her up with anybody else.

Lastly, also not super likely but another option could be to convince her to headline the show, and play Ai in Ruby’s stead.

3. Why does Kaburagi say that the film is bordering on illegal?

This is a truly crucial piece to unveiling Aqua’s plot. We know Kaburagi likes producing shows that include good-looking young people, and that seems to be his main strategy for raking in young audiences and cashing out.

So why would he have hesitated, even for a second, on a plan to cast the top talent of this young generation, on the biggest news Japan has been talking about, handed to him by a first-hand source--the son of Ai himself?

On all accounts, this would have been the perfect formula for a smash success. So why would Kaburagi say things like, “do you have enough evidence”, when everybody already knew about the University student stalker that murdered her? What was so controversial?

Unless, when they said Aqua will play the culprit, they didn’t mean the Ryosuke.

They meant he was playing Hikaru Kamiki.

Here’s what we know about the film, and what I think Aqua is trying to do:

1. Portray Kamiki in the worst possible way and destroy his reputation.

The 15-Year Lie will be a biopic about Ai’s life from when she was starting out as an idol.  Ai will be portrayed as a poor girl abandoned by her parents, searching for the true meaning of love. We know that this framing will be part of Ai’s characterization because of the scenes where Ruby struggled the most:

In the search for love, they will show her falling for a young man and talented actor at Theatre Lalalai--that being Hikaru Kamiki. Once he gets Ai pregnant, he abandons her, and she runs off to the countryside to hide from the press. When Ai asked him to come visit her, Kamiki, in wanting to protect his career, attempted to send out a stalker. A few years later, seeing his kids wotagei on social media, he manages to find them again and kill Ai.

It is a complete and utter character assasination of Hikaru Kamiki, and while revealing Ai as a flawed person, draws for the sympathy of the viewers to love Ai for who she truly is. Which is exactly why Gotanda keeps insisting for Ruby to play the role, even when Aqua and Kaburagi have sensible recommendations for Akane and Frill.

At that moment, when Ai dies, Aqua will reveal his face, and openly declare that it was his father who orchestrated it all. Then he might even portray his father murdering Ryosuke himself, instead of the suicide that was reported in the media.

2. Aqua will use himself to bait his father out, and force Kamiki’s hand to kill Aqua.

The main reason why Aqua finds it necessary for the film to be a commercial success is because he needs the general public to be one hundred percent in agreement that Hikaru Kamiki is an evil man that deserves to be jailed. (Whether or not he reveals his name in the film, which he could but doesn’t need to.) This public lynching is his first control.

But here’s the thing: Kamiki didn’t directly murder Himekawa Airi and Hoshino Ai himself. At this point in time, Aqua is not aware of Katayose Yura’s murder either. And there is no evidence that connects Uehara Seijirou and Ryosuke’s suicides as murders by Kamiki’s hands.

And on top of all that, when these things happened, Kamiki was fully a minor.

Akane’s fears and interpretation was that Aqua would murder his own father because it’s the only form of revenge he could enact himself. 

But she’s wrong, there’s one more thing Aqua could do: make Kamiki commit murder again. If he kills Aqua, there will now be a murder that the public agrees without a doubt was done by Kamiki himself.

He can go to jail once and for all, or he can also get stabbed by an angry fan--Aqua doesn’t care. All he cares about is that it’s a sure win, and it’s over forever. He launches his sister’s career into the spotlight, he keeps everybody safe, and he atones for the death of his mothers with his own life.

In summary: Aqua plans to get killed by his father, so that an actual murder has occurred for which he could be jailed or publicly ostracized or even killed.

And here’s why I think Aqua will fail:

Aqua’s assumptions about his father are incorrect.

He believes that Kamiki’s reason for killing Ai was because her pregnancy would ruin his reputation and career as a rising actor. That’s why Aqua tries to hit him there. And he believes defaming him might provoke him to get killed.

But I don’t think Kamiki cared about his reputation at all anymore. He left his career as an actor behind after Kindaichi kicked him out of Lalalai, and went on to graduate from Faculty of Science. He never went back in front of the spotlight, instead opening a talent agency around the exact time he believed his kids might be joining the industry.

I have reason to believe that Kamiki thinks murdering Airi and Ai was to protect his children or some other great act of justice against his rapist(s). And that even killing Katayose Yura was done because he didn’t want a liar like her to take the spotlight that was supposedly for his daughter Ruby.

I don’t think Kamiki will harm Aqua.

But I do think he will come forward and expose himself and his twisted justification, and he might even openly give interviews to the media.

Instead, I do believe Kamiki might pay attention to Kana’s honest acting--something he’s never seen before in a person, and try to get close to her somehow. And if Kamiki’s name is not revealed, and if the theories are true that Frill works for Kamiki’s agency, he might recruit Kana to join him.

All this is to say, get Kana out of this manga. Somebody, please save her.

[everythingvolturi]

Demetri Character Analysis - Part 1

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Demetri New Moon - Duality of Diplomacy and Violence

Demetri first appears in the alleyway, instructed by Aro to bring two potential law-breakers back to him. Even in this tense and dangerous scenario with violence looming over everyone, Bella’s first impression of Demetri is his ‘soothing’ tone. This is no doubt a tactic to control the situation and discourage any rashness on Edward’s part. 

"Felix merely meant to point out the proximity of the sun," the other shadow said in a soothing tone. 

Even when Edward is refusing his request, Demetri continues to play the role of a ‘polite’ shadow who resembles ‘reasonableness’. Indeed, his request does seem reasonable - they 'merely' and ‘simply’ want to ‘speak’ somewhere less conspicuous.

But simple requests should have simple consequences - you don’t kill someone for refusing to comply. Him masking the underlying threat under the pretense of reasonableness when bringing someone back for trial is manipulative and calculating.

The second, more reasonable shadow cautioned. "Not here." He turned to Edward. "Aro would simply like to speak with you again, if you have decided not to force our hand after all."

It also shows that he is not someone that relies entirely on his vampire strengths and animalistics instincts (very common for vampires), and instead understands the politics of the hunt. 

A readiness to kill: 

What impresses me the most is how quickly he is able to shift from politely negotiating, to being ready to literally kill Edward and Bella, and then immediately return to his polite demeanor once Alice points out the human witnesses. He is able to evaluate the most suitable course of action in a split second, and adjust accordingly. This is not a simple task, as many hunters need to actively get into the mindset to kill.

I imagine this is a requirement for his job, where he is often the first point of contact with the accused, and would be forced to make a split second decision to either give them a chance to attend trial, or take swift actions to eliminate them if necessary.

‘No doubt, he would be a fighter. There was no other way he could have survived so long, always at the spear point of any attack. And he must always lead, because he was their tracker. (Breaking Dawn).

Therefore, Demetri is either someone who is able to calmly negotiate even when he is ready to kill, or someone who is able to quickly shift into a killing mindset. Either is equally impressive and dangerous.

Cruel Detachment:

“Nice fishing” (In reference to Heidi bringing back the group of tourists for the Volturi to feast on). 

It is one thing to completely disregard humans, it is another to joke about the mass-killing of them. I am not a vegetarian myself, but if I were to go to a farm and meet the cows that will to be sent to the slaughter house for the BBQ I’m throwing, I would not feel comfortable joking about it. 

To me, this is Meyer’s way of emphasizing the cruelty of the Volturi vampires, and using Demetri, who was the voice of reason, to make this comment really reinforces the point that even the most polite of them exhibits a callous detachment. It draws an interesting parallel to Alec’s interaction, where we are once again presented with a stark contrast between a vampire’s outward civility, and their inner detachment. It somehow drives the point more so than using someone like Jane and Caius.

Casanova of life?

Charlie Bewley, the actor portraying Demetri, once described the character as a “casanova of life.” However, there is nothing in canon that indicates this. In fact, I believe his proximity with Felix, who appears to be the actual casanova, would make this more difficult.

I imagine his tracking ability and Felix’s combat capabilities make them the perfect duo (find and eliminate), so the two would often work together. The persona Felix takes on is a flirty and impulsive muscle, and he often times might have to engage in conducts to reinforce this brute image (more on Felix in a later post). Therefore, Demetri would need to play the role of a mature, cautious leader, as seen in New Moon. This includes laying low and cleaning up Felix’s mess - to also participate in a promiscuous lifestyle would draw too much attention. I do think Demetri needs to be charming and sophisticated for his job, which might give the illusion of him being a ‘casanova’, but he's got too much responsibility to actually indulge in this lifestyle.

However, this is mostly my take on the limited information presented in canon. I would not be entirely surprised if he does turn out to be more promiscuous. It just means he is able to balance work with pleasure better than I give him credit for.

[petratherrock]

The thing with Twilight trope criticism, as it goes with every other piece of media criticism is that Bella has been overtly conflated by both haters and the fans

Trope one, that ppl love to criticise and then keeps bringing up originates from Twilight:

Bella being clumsy.

Before her I've never read any other stories with characters being clumsy and not again after that. At least not the mainstream ones that I know of.

She's the only one character I know of and the only time she actually became graceful with fighting,

(as ppl like to point out that 'she's a character that's said to be clumsy but she's also great at fighting???' thus their mockery of her,)

....was when she became a vampire. There are no clumsy vampires. She literally became more coordinated because she wasn't human anymore.

So she's clumsy and she falls a lot. It makes people worry and feel protective of her, so??

Two,

Bella being beautiful that everyone is in love with her despite her saying that she's ordinary,

Well obviously not everyone is. Edward is kind of not the person you should listen to when Bella is involved lol

Clearly the ones that did tried to approach her, Mike, and Eric half of their reason being that she's new and Eric liking her more because she said she also wanted to go to Comic-con

Tyler started to become interested in her only because he felt guilty for almost crushing her to death with his car

Edward himself was initially intrigued with her (after successfully not killing her) because he couldn't hear her mind, which prompted him to try to listen to her from everyone else's pov, then he fell for her. It wasn't her beauty that first attracted him either

Jacob didn't immediately fall for her. He did after he hung out with her and admittedly, she's fun to be around and talk to in the Twilight book (esp when she's with Jacob)

Side note, I do blame Smeyer for writing her having too few moments with her girlfriends that aren't the Cullens or generally just friends, outside of the La Push fam, but imo she is interesting and fun to talk to based on the books

Also I can't remember how most of the films went except that I remember the blue tint from Twilight and that was perfect, but I think Kristen Stewart overplayed her awkward side, maybe that was the script idk. She sounded like she wanted to cry and be left alone lol

So now we're left with the overconflation of her character and not even Twilight fans like her vm i think

[multiverseanimecrossover]

Imagine Enid Sinclair being the long-lost daughter of Alice Cullen...

Although one has werewolf brothers, another is a clairvoyant, one is seemingly human and the other is a vampire. But their cheerful personalities, their colorful wardrobe and how they stick around the main protagonist like they're BFFs~!

I'm sorry for bringing Twilight into this but come one! These two are the sunshine to Bella and Wednesday's grumpiness. (OK, Bella isn't grumpy but she's gloomy. I know Bella is plain but I think Wednesday is a better gloom than Bella and she doesn't even try it~!)

[theriu]

River Reads Midnight Sun

Chapter 3: Risk

In which Ed struggles with his Plot-driven feelings and Bella is almost squashed like a bug.

<-Chapter 2

(NOTE: So it occurs to me that I’ve not been clear about how hard Edward has been working to do the right thing these past couple chapters. While he has his faults, Edward and his vampire family have sworn off eating or killing humans, and he very much does NOT want to kill and eat Bella, morally speaking. He’s struggling against unusually strong vampiric urges her smell is setting off in his system, and the question of whether he should run away from his Found Family and avoid Bella for her safety, uproot his whole family from their current home if they choose to go with him, or face and overcome this trial, the face of whom the Plot has unfairly branded onto his brain. Also, Alice and Carlisle have been very supportive yet sensible, and I love them unironically.

Okay, got that off my chest! Now we can get back to mocking the teenage angst!)

So the opening scene of this chapter is genuinely nice, in my opinion. Edward and Dad Carlisle go hunting together (deer, because this family only drinks animal blood), and we get a little review of Carlisle’s concern and understanding a week ago when Ed had to leave (including how he let Ed take his car). Carlisle seems a genuinely good person (and a doctor) who fully supports Ed doing whatever is necessary to stay sane and keep from taking a life, even encouraging him to leave if that’s what it takes (despite how much they would miss him). He checks with Edward that coming back isn’t just about Ed’s pride. He’s even openly willing to go with Ed and start over somewhere else if it will spare a needless death while letting their family stay together. +100 Dad Points, Carlisle gets an award for top tier dadding.

Of course, Ed can’t quite put into words for Carlisle WHY he is now so determined to stay, other than it not being pride anymore. This is probably because it is difficult for a protagonist to describe the irresistible pull of The Plot on his affections and sensibilities. The scene changes as they go gallivanting into the woods, and Ed, now fat and unhappy on deer blood, chills by an icy river and spends more time pondering why he cares so much about this girl and why he is risking her life by staying.

I find it hilarious that HE keeps noting how his feelings make no sense. Why does he care about this girl? What about her draws him to her? Why is he unable to think about anything but her? GREAT QUESTIONS, ED! IF ONLY THE ANSWER WASN’T “YOU’RE IN A PARANORMAL ROMANCE”! The poor boy doesn't know what powers he is truly struggling against, even as he considers such self-aware drivers as his “obsessive curiosity” and “unsatisfied appetite.” However, he DOES decide he is going to follow Carlisle’s advice and leave after one more day, because he DOES want to be responsible and selfless! A fruitless determination, no doubt, but let’s give the guy some credit: That was a valiant effort to resist the unstoppable hands of plot-fate.

When he goes back to the house, he chats with Alice, who once again foresees him planning to leave. She doesn’t want him to, and NOT for romantic reasons but out of genuine sister/friend love. They have a moment of mental movie time watching her highly scattered visions about him, wherein she predicts his life is at a crossroads. He makes a joke about her sounding like a carnival fortuneteller, which is actually a good jab, well done Ed. He and Alice go get ready for school, with her still openly sad that he might leave again and making sure he knows she will miss him if he has to go. ALICE AND CARLISLE ARE REALLY NICE OKAY, HUZZAH FOR LIKEABLE CHARACTERS

Off they go to school! During which drive we learn Rosalie and Emmett are sickeningly in love, which…did NOT seem apparent in the first two chapters. Seriously, they've barely interacted onscreen so far, and Ed only mentioned that Alice and Jasper are a thing, so these two staring adoringly into each others’ eyes felt a bit outta left field. Turns out the other six vamps in this family are paired off in sweet adorable couples and Ed is the self-proclaimed grumpy old man, which amuses me greatly. Of course, Singleness Is Bad, so naturally Ed will find his soulmate, even if The Plot has to ram feelings of attraction for her down his cerebral cortex!

As the others head into school, Ed and Alice hang out by their car to watch Bella drive into the parking lot. Bella is obviously very nervous about snow-driving, which Ed realizes must mean she is Serious and Responsible. Ed finds her worry and Bambi-like clumsiness on the ice endearing, and notes when her snow tire seems to make her emotional. (???) 

Ed is working himself up to possibly go talk to her, which would be unwise and bad probably, when suddenly Alice has a VISION OF DOOM!!! In SECONDS, a van will come careening into the parking lot, and Bella will be CRUSHED LIKE A BUG!!! Woe!!! Calamity!!! Convenient!!! (Seriously, what are the odds someone would have a life-ending car accident in THIS school parking lot with ACTUAL vampire students watching, and of course the target is one vampire’s new obsession? I don’t care what the OC shows have taught us, fatal car accidents on school grounds are NOT common enough for this.)

So Ed ROCKETS into action, SWOOPING her out of the way in the nick of time! But oh no, the van is bouncing back towards them again! He’s risking exposure already, but dangit, this homicidal vehicle shall not take the girl! Edward grabs it and is slammed back, leaving a nice imprint of his shoulders on another car for his trouble. And NOW he’s stuck holding the van up because if he lets go, Bella will probably lose her legs under the tires.

Ed is so done with everything by this point, resulting in my favorite line of the book so far:

“Oh, for the love of all that was holy, would the catastrophes never end?!”

(Dangit, Ed, why can’t you always be this relatable)

Fortunately, between supermanning the van and Bella into safer positions and panicking over Bella having bonked her head on the ice, he’s able to resist his homicidal cravings, even when he tucks her neatly against him. Now he notices she is alert and seems mostly okay aside from the head bonk. To his consternation, however, she immediately asks how the heck he got over here so fast. Ed lies like a professional and badly wants to get her to Carlisle, who has ACTUAL medical experience as opposed to Ed’s “theoretical medical study” (so that answers the question of how useful Ed’s two medical degrees are). 

Despite them lying under two vehicles on ice (and Bella complaining that it’s cold when he won’t let her try and crawl out because she could have a neck injury, which YES THAT IS A REASONABLE CONCERN BELLA), Bella chooses this time to call Ed’s bluff. She is DARN CERTAIN he was OVER THERE and NOT right next to her, and Ed is NOT convincing her otherwise. He finally gets her to shush by promising to explain it later, all the while plotting to use her possible head injury to gaslight the heck out of her and everybody else into believing he was definitely standing right beside her and didn’t practically teleport.

People finally get the van away from the trapped duo, and Ed knows the registered nurse who pops up. He discloses Bella’s head injury to said nurse, and Bella acts BETRAYED, reminding Ed that she likes to suffer in silence, to which I say BELLA, POSSIBLE CONCUSSIONS ARE NOT THE KIND OF SUFFERING YOU DO IN SILENCE!!! The girl needs her head checked in MULTIPLE ways!

As Bella is humiliated over enduring standard medical care after an accident, Ed uses his foot to rearrange the reverse sculpture of his shoulders in the other car. Then Bella’s dad, the chief of police, shows up, justifiably freaked out, and Ed realizes how accurate it was when Alice said killing his only daughter would kill him. (AWW!!!) Ooo, ALSO, Ed notices Charlie Swan’s thoughts are a little hard to read! Not as much as Bella’s, but it seems this cerebral lead lining against mind radar is genetic? And here he thought Charlie was slow in the head! (Ed gets +2 points for noting that HE (Ed) was the slow one for assuming that and never noticing he actually just couldn’t hear Charlie’s thoughts clearly.)

Anyhoo, they get to the hospital, and Ed keeps a mental eye on Bella via the paramedics while he finds Carlisle. He’s ashamed he might have revealed their secret, but Carlisle is just proud of him for doing the right thing and saving the girl’s life. THEY HUG! Carlisle is the BEST, guys!!! 

After a chuckle about the irony that Ed ended up protecting the girl he was afraid he’d hurt (and Ed quietly angsting about how likely he still is to hurt her), Carlisle goes to check on Bella. Ed fidgets and watches Hospital Brainwaves TV for a while, so despite the agonizing wait, he has plenty of entertainment. Tyler, the van driver, is hurt bad and feels horrible that he almost smashed Bella, and won’t stop apologizing. To Ed’s relief, Bella is sticking to the story Edward gave about his standing right next to her, even though Tyler also didn’t see him. Ed hears Bella say his name for the first time, via Tyler’s thought-ears (???), and wishes he could hear it with his own ears! He also notices Tyler thinking about asking Bella on a date to make up for the near-death experience, and that is somehow so VERY dumb and also feels accurate to how some high school guys might think, so I can’t really argue with it. Ed, naturally, continues to struggle with the realization that his understanding of his own emotions is nowhere near as comprehensive as he’s believed for the past century.

Ed and Carlisle soon have a brief chat over Bella’s X-rays; she’s fine, although Carlisle notes how many healed fractures her skull has and jokes about how often her mom dropped her as a baby. (No, the jokes are too easy, I mustn't. He’s already claimed the best one anyway.) Ed goes on ahead to smooth things over with Bella, who is impatiently pretending to sleep in hopes Tyler will stop apologizing. She also manages to be pouty that Ed didn’t also have to endure the humiliation of a stretcher, be impatient about being asked about her head again, and deny to Carlisle that her head bump feels tender. Ed, who isn't at ALL influenced by his inexplicable sense of attraction to this girl, determines that because she doesn't like to show weakness, she is Brave. I might argue that she is showing more signs of being a self-focused pity-partyer who thinks she knows better than medical professionals and has low tolerance for petty annoyances, but who am I to disagree with the male protagonist?

Bella is released to go home with her dad, which she…doesn’t want to do? Is it going home or being with her dad that bothers her? Between being annoyed at Tyler for his understandable (if repetitive) remorse, being annoyed Edward didn’t have to be fussed over by hospital staff like she did, and apparently not wanting to hang out with her clearly concerned father, she isn’t doing the best job of earning that Selfless tag Ed gave her last chapter. She’s also highly embarrassed that, as Carlisle puts it, “most of the school seems to be in the waiting room.” Ed, on the other hand, is pleased he guessed her reaction correctly. (He’s also envious that Carlisle can touch her like a normal person and not be tempted to eat her like Ed is, but he doesn’t make it awkward. Apparently different vampires don't find the same human hyperdelicious, which is definitely a positive.)

Naturally, Bella is determined to talk about what REALLY happened before she goes home. Ed, once again gripped by the struggle of not eating her, agrees to talk it out in private. It’s time for Vampire Gaslighting! He’s determined to be mean and a jerk and make her disbelieve her own senses (despite aching for her to trust him), and then he will disappear from her life forever. It starts out pretty well, with him being cold enough that she drops her tough girl act. However, she’s still pretty dang determined and reveals just how much SUPER WEIRD STUFF she DEFINITELY NOTICED, like him leaving dents in multiple vehicles but being fine as sunshine!

Ed’s getting a bit nervous at this point and doubles down on the dismissive act, but then she startles him by saying she’s not going to tell anyone. Regaining his footing, he wants to know why it matters, then. She says she doesn't like lying, so she’d rather know the reason why she’s lying for him. I’m given brief The Princess Bride vibes as Ed essentially tells her “get used to disappointment.” 

They scowl at each other for a bit, until finally she, once again more annoyed than self-preserving, wonders why he even bothered to save her. To which he gives what he feels is his first honest reply of this conversation: "I don't know." With that, he ends the discussion by walking off dramatically, as one does.

AND SCENE!

I'd say this chapter was more interesting than the last two! Carlisle is a gem, I am ALWAYS down for a positive and supportive dad character and I will fight for this compassionate good-humored doctorpire. The exposition was SLIGHTLY less focused on Ed’s INNER TURMOIL thanks to the action scene, but don’t worry, there was still plenty of inner turmoil. Bella continues to act contrary to the definitions Ed labels her with, although I can kinda respect her refusing to be gaslighted and standing firm on what she knew she’d seen. Despite Ed’s numerous declarations that today would certainly be the last day he sees her, however, I do not hold out much hope for his success.

As we leave this chapter, here’s my recreation of the “small list” Edward is reportedly keeping of Bella’s character traits! I sure can’t wait to see what else gets added in the coming days!

Ed’s Questionable Bella Vocab List:

Advanced (See Also: Intelligent For A Human)

Selfless (See Also: Martyr)

Fascinating (See Also: Interesting, Not Like Other Humans)

Discerning (See Also: Intuitive, Perceptive)

Amusing

Serious

Responsible

Brave

Chapter 4-> (Coming Soon)

[lynnedwardswrites]

The most disappointing thing about Stephenie Meyer's Midnight Sun was how little Edward's psyche and internal world were affected by the ability to know people (generally and individually) at a much deeper level than anyone else.

imo, Stephenie took an incredibly reductivist view of who people are in their own heads, and Edward's absolute disinterest in the people around him was both surprising and off-putting to me. I think he would have been a much more interesting character if he was actually deeply, obsessively interested in people, had a really robust model for categorizing people according to different patterns of thought, and was constantly anxious about his ability to identify and manipulate problem people perfectly and expertly on the fly.

Because Edward SHOULD have (for interesting story purposes) gotten his entire sense of value and belonging in the Cullen clan—despite his wretched past—FROM those skills and the way they benefited the group. It makes sense, with how melodramatically tortured and self-loathing he is, that he would have to have an equally self-loathing workaround that let him disbelieve every loving thought that's ever been absently directed at him, maybe attributing his family's generosity and good feeling to a base instinct to keep around people who increase chances of survival. He should believe people love him Because of his ability to protect. We even see this pattern in how he'll later interact with Bella, hating himself constantly for every ounce of danger he puts her in, sabotaging their relationship when the risk becomes too great that she'll realize what a shit choice he is and leave him for it.

And then of course there's the fact that reading EVERYONE'S MIND ALL THE TIME should drive you a little bit mad. You get 100x, 1000x the information listening to a conversation between friends than anyone else. You know people in ways they don't even know themselves. Everyone is Highly Predictable because you are highly obsessed with paying enough attention to make sure they are predictable, and you do not experience relationships like anyone else on the planet. Trust is not a thing, because you have All The Information. Not knowing how someone will react is not a thing, because you have A Humanity's Worth of Predictive Data On How Other People Like This Person Have Reacted. You're not a person, you're God In A Person's Body, But If You Slip Up No One Will Love You, and it is just frankly hard to find people who relate.

So with all that in mind, IT WOULD HAVE BEEN REALLY FUCKING AWESOME to watch him, after discovering he can't read the new girl's thoughts, become first frustrated then manically, tortuously OBSESSED with Bella because she threatens absolutely everything he believes about himself. What if she's dangerous and I can't warn them? What if they realize I'm a fraud???

So he starts stalking her, talking to her, trying frantically to figure out what the physical and verbal cues are that signal all the mental patterns in people that he knows like the back of his hand, searching desperately for the warning signs he can't read in her mind, like someone who's gone unexpectedly blind. Complicated, of course, by the fact that HOLY SHIT SHE SMELLS DELICIOUS. And slowly, slowly, as he interacts with a human being like HE'S a human being for the first time, he starts to fall in love with her and how she makes him feel. He falls in love with her because she and she alone can make him human again.

The second most disappointing part of Midnight Sun was that Edward fell in love with Bella because "she's a good person" according to an equally boring, reductive, Mormon-culture-inspired view of feminine goodness. I mean, in the text, all she does is make a single comment about how comicon is Pretty Cool Actually™️. As though nerds who go to comicon are a particularly risky group of people to stand up for, as though there are not dozens of people at this school who wouldn't have said the same thing, who are not, at the very moment the interaction happens, also Being Nice™️.

No, no, no, no, fellow vampire fans. Edward should have fallen in love with Bella because, for the first time in his entire vampiric life, Edward is able to interact with another human the way people are meant to. Without knowing everything before it's said. Without knowing her so well from a clinical, objective point of view that he knows what she's going to think before she thinks it. He should have fallen in love with her because she IS normal in a way that's so rare for him that it's precious. Because she can change her mind and he won't see it coming. Because he can't break down every little flaw in her mental reasoning and just has to take her at her word. Bella represents Normalcy for a man who cannot have normal relationships, who is completely isolated and alienated from humanity by the voices in his head. Loving her because she was Nice™️ was just utter bullshit. He loves her because She Contributes Positively To His State Of Being.

In other news, this headcanon is also why I was absolutely devastated by the epilogue ending of Breaking Dawn, in which Bella learns to let Edward into her head. It felt like a punch to the gut for Edward. Like "no, wait, you don't understand how important it is to me that I DON'T see, that I am always able to feel human around you, without the clinical monster taking over. That I Have to trust you." That's what made the whole relationship for him, imo. Edward made her a vampire, and she made him human.

(Of course, I understand that this narrative would have broken the "hot guy is obsessed with normal girl and she has to make absolutely no effort and is under no pressure to be or do anything to continue to be deserving of that love" fantasy, but, well... That's why Midnight Sun should never have been written in the first place.)

[fuckmeyer]

"disturbed, depressed, inadequate": Edward Cullen & George Costanza, cringefail twinsies

as we all know, Twilight and Seinfeld are canonically set in the same universe. we see blatant clues scattered throughout both series. (e.g., Stephenie Meyer prefacing New Moon with the entirety of Jerry Seinfeld's opening stand-up from season 4's "The Outing;" Jerry making a Twilight reference in "The Soup" episode of Seinfeld, etc.) most notably, we see Edward Cullen & George Costanza's personalities mirror each other in a way that extends far beyond "pure" "coincidence." upon closer examination, they are the same person in parallel universes.

the two are, canonically, absolute losers seemingly broken beyond repair, self-saboteurs who waffle between moments of self-aggrandizement and self-loathing. their negative self-image, insecurities, & belief that they do not deserve love are recurring themes in their respective series.

among other things, George describes himself as "disturbed, depressed, inadequate," ("The Visa," S04) "completely insecure, paranoid, [and] neurotic" ("The Beard," S06). he is the self-proclaimed "Lord of the Idiots" ("The Apartment," S02) who is sure of only one thing: "There is no bigger loser than me" ("The Strike," S09).

in the Twilight Saga, Edward repeatedly calls himself "selfish" & a "monster." in Midnight Sun, he's a "coward" (37), "evil" (374) & an "obsessed stalker" (94). clearly depressed in the way he describes his "long melancholy" (138) as "an unending, unchanging midnight" (136), he quickly pinpoints the feelings behind his hatred for Bella: "What I really hated was myself" (26). his distaste for Mike Newton & jealousy of Jacob Black stem from his insecurity, while his paranoia has him assuming, among other things, that a meteor will crash down & bonk Bella out of existence (131). Edward's telepathy has him always on the alert for intruders, resulting in baseless conclusions. "Idiot," Rose calls him (97, 129, 145, 202, 314). idiot, indeed.

Edward & George's low self-esteem compel them to lie, unable to live up to the perceived expectations of others. after Edward saves Bella from a car accident, he lies to her to keep her away. "I had a show to put on now. I knew the role I would play—I had the character down: I would be the villain. I would lie and ridicule and be cruel" (MS, 90). beyond shielding her from his true nature, he is shielding her from a deeper truth: "I didn't deserve any link, any claim to her at all" (728). that is, Edward does not consider himself worthy of Bella's love. he even point-blank admits it to her at prom: "I'm not worth it." (782)

George, too, struggles to live up to assumed perceptions: “You see, this is what I do with women. I start out too strong, now I have to become real. That's when it all falls apart. What good is real?" ("The Visa," S04) like Edward, he engages in deceptive tactics throughout the series to keep his partners at arm's length, from creating falsehoods about himself to preventing his fiancée from fraternizing with his friends & entering his world. ("The Pool Guy," S07) Edward, more succinct, sends Bella the same message in New Moon: "My world is not for you." (37)

in fact, one of the few traits George & Edward possess that is not negatively regarded is their ability to lie. Edward's declaration that "I was not an incompetent liar" (MS, 77) seems an understatement when, not 10 pages later, he says, "Perhaps I was too good a liar if I could fool Carlisle" (85). he claims to feel guilty; then again, Bella often notes him lying outright or by omission in the series.

"I lie every second of my life," George brags in season 2's "The Apartment." "My whole life is a sham." other characters acknowledge & praise this ability. in the episode "The Beard" (S06), Jerry begs George to help him beat a polygraph test, calling his ability "a gift." just as Edward dramatizes his lying to "putting on a show," George likens his talent to singing opera: "It's like saying to Pavarotti, 'Teach me to sing like you.'" the advice he gives Jerry aptly sums up George's philosophy: "It's not a lie if you believe it." how fitting that this is the mindset Edward employs to stay in Bella's life a little longer.

George & Edward's relationships not only showcase their ability to lie but follow similar paths. George faces Edward's exact dilemma: the choice to deny his nature (to the point of becoming vegetarian!) for an attractive woman in "The Secretary" episode of season 6. "You're luscious," he says to a beautiful applicant for an open secretary position. "You're ravishing. I would give up red meat just to get a glimpse of you in a bra." George chooses not to hire the attractive secretary... but ends up sleeping with his 'unattractive' secretary anyway. Edward, meanwhile, does the opposite: he chooses vegetarianism and to date the object of his affection, albeit with personal turmoil. where Edward chooses to be the man, George chooses to be the monster.

unsurprisingly, however, their low self-esteem is a frequent barrier to their romantic pursuits. these insecurities even lead them to preemptively decide to break up with their significant other. in George's case, the breakup in season 3's "The Pez Dispenser" is a means for him to protect himself & regain control:

“A preemptive breakup. This is an incredible idea. I got nothing to lose. We either break up, which she would do anyway, but at least I go out with some dignity.”

Edward seemingly breaks up with Bella to protect her. he knows he will leave her by page 368 of Midnight Sun. by page 746, he admits he's lying when he swears he won't leave her. "[T]he time would come, I was sure now, when I would have to convince her [I didn't want her]" (747). best-case scenario, he thinks, she will outgrow him (781), though it's clear she intends on forever. despite the evidence from Alice that Bella will be a catatonic mess, he leaves...several months later, after a near-fatal brush with Jasper. one might argue Edward's fear of love & intimacy leads him to break up with her as a means to protect himself from the harsh reality that she will die.

ultimately, George & Edward's failures in physical & emotional intimacy are rooted, at least in part, in an aversion to sex.

for both, the desire to feed presents a barrier to their lovemaking. Edward is unable to prolong his kisses with Bella, citing his thirst. he compares himself to "an alcoholic" & Bella to "a glass of hundred-year-old brandy, the rarest, finest cognac..." (Twilight, 13). similarly, in season 9's "The Blood," George finds he is always hungry around his partner & can't make love to her without eating. his attempt to introduce strawberries, chocolate sauce, & pastrami on rye into the bedroom snowballs into him sneaking sandwiches into bed. though George, unlike Edward, can satiate himself without murdering his girlfriend, his desire to feed still leads to his demise.

this aversion to sex extends beyond a conflict with their baser selves, however. we see George & Edward's insecurities & low self-esteem take a central role in their inability to engage in intimate relations.

“I don't like when a woman says, ‘Make love to me,’" says George in season 3's "The Stranded." "It's intimidating. The last time a woman said that to me, I wound up apologizing to her.”

this quote perfectly encapsulates Edward & Bella's wedding night. despite being intimidated by Bella's demand for sex, Edward acquiesces. upon discovering he bruised Bella, Edward confirms his worst fears, calls himself a monster, and says: "I'm...so sorry, Bella. [...] I am more sorry than I can tell you" (Breaking Dawn, 61). he then promises, "I will not make love with you until you've been changed. I will never hurt you again." (66)

oddly enough, the bleak outlook Edward takes on his sex life (i.e., not possible (Twilight, 147) & unrealistic (Eclipse, 299)) mirrors George's feelings re: sexual intimacy in "The Pony Remark" (S02):

“You know, I've been thinking. I cannot envision any circumstances in which I'll ever have the opportunity to have sex again. How's it gonna happen? I just don't see how it could occur.”

is this aversion to intimacy with women a product of George & Edward being queer-coded characters? even if Edward didn't worship the ground on which Carlisle "the soul of [the] family" (MS, 96) walked to the point where he hopes his face resembles Carlisle's "perfect" one (24, 387), he constantly thinks of his creator & tries to live up to Carlisle's perception of him (28, 347, 383, 387). this seems innocuous enough until we consider the fact that the vampire genre itself has queer roots. vampires have always served as a symbol for social outcasts; homosexual depictions, from the 1872 novel Carmilla to the 2020s reboot of Interview with a Vampire, are a common feature of the genre. through this lens, the virginal Edward Cullen pushing away his heterosexual partner while he envisions Carlisle's face takes on different connotations.

George, deeply in denial of his sexuality, upholds odd "rules" to avoid being seen as gay, from refusing to sit "boy-boy-girl" in a car ("The Ex-Girlfriend," S02), to reminding Jerry of his "unblemished record of staunch heterosexuality" before declaring Jerry's new jacket "fabulous." (his singing show tunes throughout "The Jacket" (S02)  still earns him the title of gay by another character, however.) he frequently goes into a gay panic: from being called out on his attraction to Jerry ("The Cartoon," S09), to being accused of falling in love with his friend Tony ("The Stall," S05), to being explicitly labeled as Jerry's romantic partner in season 4's "The Outing," he responds to challenges to his heterosexuality with anger, anxiety, dismay, & denial. he even shouts "IT [his penis] MOVED!" in response to being touched by an attractive male masseuse ("The Masseuse," S05). regardless of whether George may be gay or bisexual, George's record of "staunch heterosexuality" seems not as "unblemished" as he would like us to believe.

given all the similarities, one might think the biggest difference is their species: Edward is a mindreading vampire and George is a human. but George does note having an advanced sense of perception akin to Edward's telepathy: "I was personable, I was bright. [...] I was perceptive. I always know when someone's uncomfortable at a party" ("The Opposite," S05). additionally, while George may not be a literal vampire, he does have a parasitic nature. cheap & selfish, he frequently mooches off his friends & leaves them footing the bill. he also lies & manipulates for his own gain, including but not limited to faking a disability to have access to his own private bathroom at work ("The Butter Shave," S09), setting up a fake charity to avoid buying Christmas presents for his coworkers ("The Strike," S09), & falsifying statements to extend his unemployment benefits ("The Boyfriend, Part 1," S03). leeching off of others & the community is a hallmark of vampirism.

ultimately, the uncanny parallels between these two characters are impossible to ignore. George & Edward seem indeed the same person mirrored into different universes. so, what does this say about their creator(s)? this "coincidence" naturally begs the question: Are Jerry Seinfeld and Stephenie Meyer the same person? in Part 2 of this essay, we expl—

[gemstarstarlight]

If I have learned anything in life, it’s that the Single Handsome Boy who does Bad Things will be adored.

Regardless of morality or level of Bad Things.

I think I want to call it The Ted Bundy Precedent.

[httpmentalbreakdown]

twilight analysis:

Bella’s fear of aging

I’ve read/heard so many opinions on twilight because the saga is so layered. However, the one topic I haven’t seen in great detail is Bella and her fear of getting old. Most people either dismiss is as ridiculous or shallow. Some even use it as a reason why her and Edward shouldn’t be together. In New Moon, Bella has a nightmare where she sees what she thinks is her Grandma Marie middle of the meadow. She knows she’s dreaming because that women has been dead for six years. However, as Edward comes out of the forest line and reveals himself in his glittery glory, she realizes that “grandma” is actually her in a mirror. Edward, of course is still flawless, ethereal and forever seventeen. She wakes up on her 18th birthday with the realization that Edward will never age like she can. This fear ends up bothering her all morning.

While a good portion of it does have to do with vanity, there is some justification to her fears. First, Bella is a teenager, a teenage girl to be exact. Most teens have insecurities with their looks and physical appearance. Bella has those same insecurities even before she fell in love with Edward. I mean she couldn’t understand why most guys in Forks liked her instantly because she considers herself “plain”. This becomes heightened when she starts dating Edward. I mean if she can’t understand why a human boy would like her, it’s worse with a literally perfect “teen” vampire. She knows they look odd because Edward is so inhumanly beautiful. Bella doesn’t feel equal to Edward at times and his beauty is a large part. I’m not saying she’s jealous or envious, it’s more of a feeling of inferiority. She doesn’t get why he would even want to be with her. So the thought of one day getting older and wrinkly scares her because would if Edward finally realizes he doesn’t want her. That’s why the forest scene is so much more depressing because her worst fear came true anyway. Aging (like her overall humanity) is another thing that separates Bella from Edward’s world.

There’s also Edward being physically and mentally 17. If we consider Bella without Edward, she has plenty of time to be human and than changed. However, Bella becoming any older post some issues. A lot of people like to joke how Edward is disgusting for liking Bella because technically he’s old. However, in canon vampires are frozen mentally at the age they’re turned. Which is why Edward still acts like a teenage boy even if he’s treated like an adult. Also why it’s not weird for Edward to like and crush on Bella. If he was mentally 100 I don’t think he would even handle repeating high school over and over smh. If Bella got changed at 25, she would be mentally be a fully developed adult with a teenage boy. I really think in some aspects she would outgrow Edward in some sense. They also can’t be seen kissing or being together. There’s a fanfic that have Bella literally as a 35 year old women being in a relationship with Edward. That’s not disgusting or abnormal for some reason which is so hypocritical. I mean no one bats an eye about Tanya wanting to be with Edward despite her being in her 20s and sexually more experienced compared to a 17 years old virgin. I’m not hating on Tanya, but SM literally made no sense with that. Bella wanting to be around his age made perfect sense. However, because Edward sees himself as more “mature” than his peers it’s painted as acceptable for her to wait 5 years.

[edgelord-cullen]

Read my essay on Twilight!

[king-of-the-oreo]

well done Edward straight from the abusive boyfriend's handbook

[xalonelydreamerx]

hi! I'm kinda new to the twilight fandom (seen the movies ages ago but only recently finished the books) and one thing I'm confused about is Edward's hair color.

in the books bella says it's bronze but when I look for fanarts I've seen the most recent ones have him as ginger.

so, is it some inside joke that I'm missing or something? or did I completely skip over him having orange hair?

Hi! and welcome (back) to the fandom! ♥ No, Edward Cullen is not a ginger that could mistake him to be part of the Weasley family.

the reason why some people genuinely think that's the case is a matter of gartic telephone; basically someone started exaggerated it for humor, some missed the memo and now we're here

In a short life of bree tanner, when Bree meets the Cullens, she refers Edward as "the redhead"

I fought a smile. So the redhead was the mind reader, and he’d heard everything I’d wanted him to hear. Jane wasn’t getting away with anything.

Some people started thinking redhead = ginger hence why you may see some fanarts or edits with someone who has bright orange hair

As a color, ginger is a dark, muted, tangerine orange with a sherbet undertone.

In twilight the first time Bella sees him from afar and asks about him she says this:

"Which one is the boy with the reddish brown hair?"

reddish brown can have multiple range of shades; from bright to dark.

here's an example:

Throughout the first book of Twilight, Bella refers Edward's hair mostly "bronze", though sometimes she does used the words: "reddish brown" and "auburn"

Edward Cullen stood at the desk in front of me. I recognized again that tousled bronze hair.

In fact, I was sure there was something different. I vividly remembered the flat black color of his eyes the last time he'd glared at me — the color was striking against the background of his pale skin and his auburn hair.

They sat staring off in different directions, exactly the same as the first time I'd seen them. Only now they were four; their beautiful, bronze-haired brother sat across from me, his golden eyes troubled.

I listened to the sound of his even breathing, watching the sun and wind play in his bronze hair, more human than any other part of him.

Bronze hair color is a brunette shade with notes of red, caramel, and gold. While auburn is a variation of red hair, and while all auburn hair is red, not all red hair is auburn. Dark auburn hair leans toward deep reddish-brown, and light auburn hair may appear more orange.

bronze (left) | light auburn (middle) | dark auburn (right)

I think the confusion comes because some people genuinely have no clue what natural reddish brown/auburn color looks like.

If you want my opinion, I'd say Edward's hair is a middle of bronze and dark auburn.

Obviously, there's no harm with anyone playing around the color range. If you're an artist or an editor and wanna give the boy orange hair, go for it! But yeah, it's a fanon sort of thing - similarly to people pretending Bella has curly/wavy hair because of the movies, when in the books her hair was clearly stated to be straight

[nacricissa]

Edward thinks sparkling is scary because he holds racial attitudes from the 1910s

In Midnight Sun, Edward specifically assumes Bella will be disturbed by the multifaceted sparkle of his skin because it is "alien" and "so blatantly not human". This stems from a natural human instinct "people more different to me are scarier/less trustworthy." However, In the just under 100 years between Edward's adolescence and Bella's, someone being treated as "alien", "blatantly not human" or even just "different to me" based on the way their skin looks has become an idea that is decreasingly socially acceptable.

Bella is chill about it because she's not an out and out racist like that, but Edward hasn't questioned the notion at all, so he assumes she will do, and he's fine with it. "She would reject me, and she would be right to." It does complicate matters somewhat that judging him by his skin might actually be a good idea, since in this instance he actually isn't human, and is different, and rejecting him is a solidly rational call, from Bella's perspective, but regardless.

[theriu]

River Reads Midnight Sun

Chapter 2: Open Book

In which Edward faces his fears and spends an agonizing amount of time hyperfixating on Bella.

<-Chapter 1

So we jump into chapter two AND next week, as it has been six days since Edward (shockingly) succeeded in leaving town forever (citation needed)! He is chilling (ha) in a snowbank, staring up at the stars, which are truly magnificent. Or he knows they would be, except he can't quite see anything except Bella's face. Yes, the girl has haunted him straight to (checks location on a map) oh he's in ALASKA, okay! I wasn't sure where Denali was, but I was PRETTY sure even Edward couldn't drive a car to Russia. (You'll see why I considered Russia in a minute.)

Anyway, the "unremarkable" face of this girl he's literally never spoken to directly has been haunting him for six days, which is indeed troubling. While he is brooding on this, the thoughts of a new character come leaping towards him. This is where we meet Tanya, a vampire with silver skin, blonde-but-almost-pink curly hair, amber eyes, and full lips. Mary Sue Tanya is stunning and exquisite, at least from Ed's memory, since he still can't see past the face permanently branded on his eyeballs.

So anyway, Mary Sue Tanya does a cannonball into Ed's snowbank, burying him alive with snow but not burying the image of Bella. It becomes clear that she has been crushing on Ed and is sad he will be leaving soon and doesn't return her affections, although he is very polite and gentlemanly about it.

(Honestly, I liked her well enough until we got to the "I'm not used to rejection" line, and then she starts sifting through the memories of all her human male conquests next to the actual mind reader who she is attracted to, to which I say WOMAN REALLY??? I don't think making the guy you like EVEN MORE UNCOMFORTABLE than he's already admitted you kinda make him is an effective way to gain his affections?!)

ANYWAY, thankfully they get off THAT subject quickly and have a really quite nice conversation, wherein Ed apologizes for getting her hopes up by coming to her home territory and Tanya tries to be a good friend. We see a mention of her "long-lost Russian accent," thus my uncertainty about location, and she tells him she knows he won't keep running from his mystery problem because he's the type who faces things head-on. Mary Sue TANYA then runs away across the snow, so light and fast she doesn't even leave footprints, suggesting a connection between vampires and wood elves.

Encouraged by this pep talk, Gary Stu Edward also gets up and runs footprintless across the snow, determined to be brave and go back and face those "bewildered chocolate-brown eyes," and hopefully not eat the girl attached to them.

SCENE CHANGE!

Edward's back in town, and his three vampire siblings/classmates are huddled around him as they head into the lunchroom, being quite adorably protective, honestly. Alice is trying to foresee any problematic eventualities, Jasper thinks it's funny that EDWARD is the one everyone's fretting over instead of him, Emmett is acting like a bodyguard, and Ed is just exasperated with all of them.

To his surprise, nobody at school is thinking about them, suggesting that Bella didn’t blab about his black murderstare from last chapter. After all, a normal human would have asked around about it, because humans and especially teens all like to feel NORMAL and FIT IN and be a "featureless flock of sheep" and WOW, should I be more annoyed at Ed or the author for this intense bias against high schoolers?! But of course Bella isn't like those OTHER kids, she doesn't do things like talk to people when something weird happens!

About this time, Bella walks in and Alice is all, "Act human!" To which Emmett responds by taking out the snowball he compressed into an ice chunk with his superstrength and chucking it at Alice, who casually deflects it across the room at superspeed, where it cracks a brick. This does, ironically, draw attention away from them. Everyone is annoyed at Emmett, which is fair, but also, ALICE COULDN'T YOU HAVE JUST CAUGHT IT INSTEAD OF POTENTIALLY SHOOTING SOMEONE?

Ahem. So Bella's in the lunch line, and Mike Newton, Regular High School Guy And Insignificant Human Rival, is worried about her. Ed starts also worrying about if she might be sickly, what with her translucent skin. (Are we 100% sure BELLA is human?!) The vampires do a slightly better job of acting natural, and Edward decides to refer to Bella as “Bella” and not just "the girl,” "as if she were the only girl in the world," which is HILARIOUS considering where we all know this is going!

After eavesdropping on Bella and Jessica whispering about him looking at her (Bella thinks he's mad at her, after the whole murderstare incident), Bella hunkers under her hair and avoids eye contact, although Ed thinks she keeps twitching like she WANTS to look at him. Then, at long last, lunch ends and everyone starts going to class. There is another internal struggle while Ed reviews what all of his vampire family members have advised about this situation. (Emmett sounding the least helpful, as he has apparently encountered two such delicious-smelling-people incidents that... uh... sound like they did NOT go well?) But Ed is determined to prove to himself that he has the self-control to sit through biology without murdering Bella, so off he goes.

(By the way, Rosalie complains she doesn't want to have to move because they're almost finally out of high school. Again, why are you pretending to be high school students?! It's not like you'll age whether you're there or not?! HOW DOES THIS HELP YOUR COVER??)

Edward gets to Biology to find Bella at their table, doodling randomly. He decides to introduce himself. He gets briefly lost in gratuitously detailed descriptions of her eyeballs and how they are simultaneously like chocolate and strong tea, and how could anyone so frail be deserving of his unwarranted hatred last week? He's also holding his breath, but has enough air in his longs for a reasonably lengthy conversation AND a short laugh, during which Bella is... surprised/startled that he called her Bella? Because her dad introduced her to everyone as Isabella? But she's apparently told multiple people since she got here that she prefers Bella? So he probably could have learned that even without his super vampire eavesdropping powers? WHY is this weird enough to be suspicious, and HOW does it indicate she is intuitive?

Well, the book and Ed believe she is insightful and intuitive, so I guess we should just go with it. Ed does eventually needs to breath so he can talk, and even though just breathing through his mouth is like tasting the FIERY COALS of her deliciousness, and their brief moment of making skin contact is like an ELECTRIC SHOCK, he manages to continue acting normal.

By the way, along with being unconventionally if lopsidedly pretty and smelling delicious, Bella was also in advanced-placement biology at her previous school and Knows Science! Edward realizes this must mean she is ESPECIALLY intelligent for a human, which of course makes perfect sense. After all, she was the first student in two years to look him in the eye long enough to notice they'd changed from the Murderstare Incident's I'm-going-to-eat-you black to today's calmer I'm-probably-not-going-to-eat-you-except-by-accident amber/gold! My friends, may I remind you this man previously admitted he has two medical degrees, a thing that probably required some amount of physically attending college. I really wonder if Ed's standards would be more realistic if he ever once SOCIALIZED WITH HIS HUMAN CLASSMATES.

In an effort to maintain normalcy, they talk about the weather. Bella does not like the cold and wet of Forks. She clearly does not like being in Forks at all. She is vague and grumpy about why she came here, and Edward is so obsessed curious that he may implode (this is the actual word used). We learn (agonizingly slowly) that her mom remarried—and no, Edward, Bella DOES like the guy, he's nice and a minor-league baseball player; and no, Edward, her mom DIDN'T send her here, SHE sent HERSELF here so her mom could happily travel with her step-dad rather than unhappily stay home with her! Ed is certain by now that Bella "isn't like other humans" because he keeps guessing her story arcs wrong and she's just so CONFUSING and UNPREDICTABLE, and this can't possibly be because he's about 100 years out of practice having a normal conversation without a cheat code into the other person's brain.

(Okay, to be fair, there are at LEAST two moments of self-awareness where Ed wonders if he'd be this bad at reading everybody without his mindreading powers. We should give him points for that.)

But despite his difficulties, he DOES figure out that Bella is unhappy, mostly by her sending out signals that a rhino could decipher. When he confronts her with this observation, her response is, "So?" And after meditating on this for an unusually brief paragraph, Ed realizes THE ANSWER:

"She was selfless."

I'm sorry, guys, I need to break for a second, that's the first part that made me laugh out loud. Can someone lend me a combine to harvest all this corn.

(Side Note: As previously stated, I have not read the books or watched the movies, so I could be biased by the negative side of the fanbase. But my general impression of Bella has not lent itself to "selflessness." BUT, it is only chapter two and I am only going off of general hearsay! The amount of poorly concealed disgruntlement is not impressing me, though.)

Anyway, Ed guesses that she doesn't really like her situation but doesn't want people to KNOW she doesn't like it. He continues to marvel at how positively he feels towards this girl, how discerning she is, how *cough* selfless she is, not like an "average martyr" who would actually tell someone she's not 100% happy with her SACRIFICE. Bella gets annoyed, which Ed finds amusing, so there's another adjective for the list. But then she says she's annoyed because she's so easy to read, and Edward can't believe this, because he's never had to work so hard to read someone before! Again, this couldn't possibly be because she's the first person in 100+ years whose mind he can't read!

By the way, Bella also seems to be oblivious immune to the usual red flags normal humans feel around vampires! Ed tries smiling dangerously at her, but the teacher breaks up their conversation with actual classtime, so he gets to angst for a few paragraphs about why he shouldn't find this girl interesting and how dangerous this is for her and yet how MUCH he wants to know more about her. And also trying not to kill her when her thick, black hair flips in his direction and drives his vampire nose bananas.

He books it as soon as the bell rings, having survived the encounter without murdering anyone but with so many new questions about this unremarkable, shy, frail, unmindreadable-yet-highly-face-readable, delicious-smelling, selfless, quietly disgruntled human girl.

(Side Note: I have learned a new word!

"Attar—a fragrant essential oil, typically made from rose petals."

Ex: "Again, I gasped at the clean, wet air outside as though it was a healing attar."

*loud sighing noises*)

So after that brief break, he goes to class with Emmett. Emmett, IMMENSELY HELPFUL EMMETT, asks how it went, questions if it wouldn't be easier to just get it over with, reassures Ed that everyone would understand if he messed up (GIVING IN IS NOT THE SAME AS "MESSING UP," EMMETT), and then vividly visualizes a time he experienced a really good-smelling woman and ate her. Between his earlier blasé-ness about not "wallowing in guilt" over past mistakes and this section's lack of anything indicating regret about that incident, I take back any nice things I might have said about this guy. Emmett, YOU. ARE. THE WORST.

It's so bad that Ed has to bolt out of class AGAIN, although it doesn't help that Emmett follows him and continues to suggest maybe Ed should just get it over with if it's so bad, can Alice or somebody please come punch him. Ed finally gets him to leave and hides in his car. Then, "like an addict" (his own words), he searches the whole school for thoughts about Bella. From his car. My GUY, just how UNREASONABLY powerful ARE your mind radar skills???

He finally locates Bella in gym class, because Mike, who is mad about Ed talking to her, is thinking in logical, complete sentences (as one does) about how satisfied he is that Bella doesn't seem interested in Edward. He also conveniently remembers her asking "what was with" Edward last Monday (after the Deathstare Incident). So apparently Bella isn't QUITE abnormal unique enough to stay totally silent when she encounters a weird thing (not that Edward notices). Ed's response to his annoyance over Mike's satisfaction is to blast "violent music," which seems the opposite of helpful to me.

We end the chapter with Bella coming out of school and heading to her rusty old truck while Ed watches her creepily from his car. She almost hits another student's car when she locks eyes with him, and Ed has to laugh at her sudden increased driving vigilance, as if she might be DANGEROUS! Because of course it's RIDICULOUS to think that BELLA could be dangerous to ANYONE in ANY vehicle, as if the driver's physical frailty has any bearing on the damage a truck can do when crashing into cars or non-vampires at speed.

AND SCENE!

I'm gonna be honest, guys, that one was a couple degrees more agonizing than the first chapter. I dread how much more I'm going to hear about Ed's conflicting desires to eat Bella and be attracted to her simultaneously average yet fascinating allure. She's just so unusually unique and smart and intuitive and selfless and shy and frail and inspires protective instincts, you see, and she's not like ANY OTHER human he's ever encountered, even though we have evidence now that sometimes certain vampires just find certain humans irresistibly delicious, and we can probably extrapolate that those humans were somehow immune to vampire powers, too.

I also highly question Bella's above-average "martyrdom," considering she dropped her guard pretty fast around the cute stranger and basically broadcasted how unhappy she is with her decision, which makes it feel a bit like she did what she did so she could feel good about herself rather than because it was the best thing to do? Being selfless doesn't mean COMPLETELY ignoring your own needs, or justify using your good deed as an excuse to have a poor attitude. Of course, considering that half her traits that Ed notices and marvels over are actually fairly normal, I don't think any of us feel a strong need to trust his assessments of her character.

Next up is CHAPTER THREE: RISK. I'm sure it will feature Edward being very level-headed and undramatic. I think I need to build my endurance back up for this one. (And thanks for the likes and comments so far, they really help keep me motivated! =D)

Chapter 3->

[makethatelevenrings]

ik it might be late for it, but I just stumbled on this again. Mendeley is a program that will automatically cite articles for academic papers and it's free. Best of luck, love you!

i don't think u understand how emotional this message made me because it's just,,,,i am but a silly little college student and it feels like the tiktok trend where you're all cheering me on from the sidelines like "Lightning McQueen!" and i don't know what i did to deserve such kindness. i'm blubbering over a ciTATION SERVICE okay???? im crying because you're so kind.

my sweet internet friends, you are so amazing and i am so so lucky and grateful to have you all here with me <3