#curlsforlife

[freshthoughts2020]

[lilmisslamb]

Oh hai there

[thickleavein]

🌱🌱🌱🌱 www.thickleavein.com . . . . . . . . . . . . . #curlsfordays #curlsforlife #viralcurls #explore #igcurls #ighair #curly #wavy #bestconditioner #damagedhair #plant #plants #greenplant #seeinggreen #thickleavein #brownupyourfeed #shareblackstories https://www.instagram.com/p/CR12F60t5i8/?utm_medium=tumblr

[7even17]

Photo of the Day ! Not sure who this is but baby you doing it ! #ootd #7even17 #approved #thepeopleschoice #womeninfashion #issavibe #curlsforlife #curlspoppin #laced #womenstyling #stylingandprofiling #fashion #allblackeverything #pinterest #concreteslayer

[hydrathermanaturals]

What is your favorite Hydratherma Naturals product? 🤩 Collection sets are SOLD OUT and will be restocked soon. We will have a restock date shortly. Be sure to sign up to receive our emails or texts to be the first to know. Individual products are available at www.HydrathermaNaturals.com Pay in installments with AFTERPAY and VIABILL🙌🏿✊🏾 . Reposted from @hercurvesinspire Take a look in those goodies!!! I'm totally in love with the fresh scent and the quality of each product. ________ Deem uma olhada nessa linha da @hydratherma ! Mal conheço e já me encantei pelo cheirinho de menta e na qualidade de cada produtinho. . #hydratherma #hydrathermanaturals #curls #curlyhair #longhairdontcare #bighair #hairgrowth #curlsforlife #naturalhair https://www.instagram.com/p/CJDBdtWMjfr/?igshid=rfqhf6zacx5b

[lucky-stars4426]

Fresh from a trim and colour at the hairdressers! I’m loving the red look and the naturally-dried curls! 😜😆 #haircolor #hairdresser #naturalcurls #lovethosecurls #curlsforlife #dyedhair #dyedredhair

[zpidey-sense]

#tbt, miss my droggo doggo ❤️☹️ #doggo #curlsforlife #tbhhelookedlikeahippie #hewasacutie #:( #goldenbitch #throwbackthursday #yes #itaggedthesametwice

[kayandkompany]

➡️ And Swipe ➡️ 👉🏻 Because Curls Are Cool 👉🏻 . 👩🏻‍🦱Wind It Wednesday For A Perfectly Sculpted Spiral Perm By Our Perm Specialist Stacey @kayandkompany 👩🏻‍🦱 . . . . #kayandkompany #kayandkompanysalon #muswellhill #northlondon #londonsalon #london #salons #salonlife #hair #curls #curlygirls #curlsforthegirls #curlscurlscurls #curlsfordays #curlsforlife #perm #permedhair #permedhairdontcare #longhairdontcare #curlyhair #curlyhairgoals #girlswithcurls #curlsrock #curlsgoals #curlsunderstood #perms #spiralperm #hairgoals #hairoftheweek #instahair (at Kay and Kompany) https://www.instagram.com/p/B2jsZo6gZB0/?igshid=inop7acsoyyw

[de-michoacan-con-mucho-love]

New year ting ☺️✌🏽 #2k17 #curlsforlife #blondebalayage

[freshthoughts2020]

[sentinelphotomx]

Have a Coke & Smile! #sentinelphotomx #brunettebeautymx #curvymodelmx #curvygirlmx #curlsforlife (at Zona Centro, Tijuana) https://www.instagram.com/p/CQAN_vQhxeE/?utm_medium=tumblr

[tressmeup]

That time @orshaircare liked your post!! 😃👋🏾💁🏾‍♀️ #hairmeroar #hairjunkie #carrant #washday #washdaystruggles #healthyhair #healthyhairjourney #daybyday #lovemycurls #curlygirl #curlsforlife #naturalista #naturalhair #haircare #journey #hairgoals

[survivingthisfckdupworld]

[carmeninguanzo]

The Cruelty of Shame...

“”

I’ve decided to share some of the shit I’ve had to face since going natural because most people don’t know what the big struggle is about.  As ridiculous and funny as it may sound to some, this is truly some sad shit.  Some real shit. The shit that comes from trauma.  Real trauma…

This past July, I decided on going natural.  I had already completely stopped using chemicals that would straighten my hair texture.  What I did not realize, however, was that even though I stopped using those chemicals, the hot, hair burning smell blow dries you get from Dominicans in most salones, was just as damaging.  After weeks and weeks of research and following many bloggers who spoke about this natural hair revolution, I learned that the only way to go completely “natural” and nurture my curls back to its natural state, as I “thought” I wanted, was to completely stop heat styling as well.  Having two different hair textures, half coily, and half straight, after one full year of not relaxing it, made it impossible to rock my bob naturally, without any heat styling whatsoever.  It was then when I decided to commit to this journey, all the way. This journey that I didn’t know would forcefully teach me how to love myself. All the way, to me, meant deciding on the big chop, not ONCE considering, 1) The negative comments I was going to receive from many people, especially, my family.  Because of course, I only heard the negative ones.  2) The HUGE toll it would take on my ego, my self esteem.  And 3) That it would affect me to the point of depression…

I was five when my mom first relaxed my hair, and the trauma I’ve carried because of the way my mom and family made me feel about my hair, was EXACTLY the way I felt when I looked in the mirror.  And this was what I saw…

I remembered all the times I was told that I had “pelo malo” and the looks I received and the mean talk that went on about me on a constant basis.  I was seven when my mom took me to the salon and told the stylist to cut ALL of my hair, leaving me with about an inch of hair.  She didn’t want the commitment it took to relax my hair every time my roots grew out.  She also, did not want the commitment it took to wash and style my hair when it was natural because of the thickness, the fullness and the knots. 

An excerpt from an old essay:

“Tú tienes demasiado pelo y no tengo tiempo para bregar con tu pajón.”  I sat in the salón chair; a rollercoaster of emotions overwhelmed me, but I was too scared to beg her not to do it.

I can’t believe mommy is doing this to me!  What will everyone at school say and think of me?  How could I ever face them?

With tears and snot streaming down my face, I agonized as the peluquera sadly chopped all of my hair section by section.  The closer she got to my scalp, the uglier I felt and the more I wanted to die.  I could see the remorse in the peluquera’s eyes, but not in my moms.  I lost a part of me that day.  

Sadly, the only way I felt pretty was with straight and long hair.  Because that’s what was said to me as a child.

I will never forget the day I left the salon on Broadway after my big chop, I got in my car and drove to the bank on Dyckman.  What I had just done, still hadn’t hit me, and I didn’t know I wasn’t ready to face the world.  I waited for someone to leave from a spot directly in front of the bank and parked my car, pulled out my debit card from my wallet and a quarter to pay the meter.  It was that dreadful day, in that exact moment when it dawned on me.  I have a short fro and I am going out of my car, not only in public, but in the neighborhood I grew up in. The neighborhood where EVERYONE has always seen me with beautiful straight and always, done hair.  What are they going to think of me?  I took pride in getting my hair done every single week, even in the hot summer days because THAT’S what I was taught to do growing up in a culture where our hair is EVERYTHING. Literally.  I turned my car back on and drove away, NEVER daring to walk out.  I drove myself straight home to agonize in front of the mirror wondering what the HELL was I thinking to do such a thing.  For weeks I didn’t leave my house.  For weeks I would drop off and pick up my son wearing a cap because of the shame I felt.  Shame that consumed every part of my psyche; every part of my existence.  About a month later, sadly, wonderful friends of mine lost their son, and all I could do was be there for them every step of the way.  I was hurt and deeply consumed from such a tragedy.  I was devastated, but still, couldn’t help but wonder what would people would think of me, especially knowing I would see people I hadn’t seen in years.  People that last they saw me, I had my beautiful, shiny and straight hair.  I had so much anxiety, I wanted to hide myself from everyone at the funeral.  I struggled that day and the next.  A LOT.  

A few weeks later, I lost an uncle.  I feel shame in saying this, but I was more devastated about having to face my family at my uncle’s funeral, than I was of his passing.  I loved my uncle dearly, in fact, he was my favorite, but this only revealed to me the impact their judgments still had on me, and I contemplated not attending several times.  I was finally convinced by a cousin that because I didn’t see him while he was in the hospital, it would be very fucked up of me not to show up and pay my respects, and so I went.  “That’s your mothers brother Carmen”, she said.  I won’t write about the list of crap my family spoke of me that day, because today, it is irrelevant.  And because today, I don’t feel as I did yesterday.  Because although I went through very devastating times, I am learning to love myself a bit more with each passing day.  Not because of all the beautiful comments I hear these days about my hair by most people, or because my husband finds me more beautiful than ever because my face is completely exposed, but because I am learning to love myself.  My entire life I faked being comfortable under my skin, and boy, did I fake it good!  When in reality I had very low self-esteem and I never saw the beauty people saw in me physically.  Ever.  This journey has brought me a long way nonetheless, and I will share with you a funny story.

Last Thursday I went to visit my mother.  I had not been there longer than an hour when she told me, “Ay mija, pero vete para el salón.  Ese pelo si esta feo. No importa como tu te vista porque ese pelo no luce con nada de lo que te pones.”  I was assuming she made this remark because she saw my birthday pictures on FaceBook from previous weeks and thought my hair made every part of me look ugly.  It bothered me, but I ignored her comment.  Of course, it didn’t end there.  About a half hour later, she repeated to me how ugly my hair looked and pursued on repeating it several more times for the almost entire four hours I was there.  And if that wasn’t enough, when my younger brother came home with a friend that day to eat dinner at my moms, he also, mentioned how ugly my hair looked about 30 minutes upon his arrival.  Yes, that hurt.  And yes, I had a very hard time being around his friend whom I’d just met.  And yes, I wondered if he, also, thought I looked ugly.  And yes, in that moment, I wished my hair was the way my mom and brother remembered it; beautiful and done.  I brushed it off and not once made a comment about how that made me feel.  I was happy to be with my family whom I don’t see much of, and MY HAIR was not who I went there to be with; not who I went there to see.  And after going through those emotions that months before would’ve brought me to tears, I decided, I wasn’t going to allow it to affect me ANYMORE.   

And I’ll end with this, an even funnier story:

The following day, since I had a dentist appointment in Washington Heights, I agreed to pick up some stuff for my mom at her favorite pharmacy.  After seeing my dentist, I called my mom to tell her I was on my way to pick up what she had asked me to, and these were her EXACT words.  “Pero mija, te arreglaste ese pelo feo?”  "No mami, no me lo arregle”, I replied.  “I’m only asking if you did your hair because I have shown them so many beautiful pictures of you, and I would hate for them to see you looking the way you did yesterday,” my mother said.  “Don’t worry mom, I have a hat on today”, I said.  I have been laughing ever since.  And NOT crying!

[mekemakeup]

"When you feeling yourself that means I showed up & showed Out. Job well done, if she happy I'm happy" #icametoslay #yingyang #skeetskeet%#!* #beautyphotography #lightscameraaction #calvinkleinshoot #makeup&hairbymelissakennedy@mekemakeup #playinnogames #modellife @tiarasjamison #atlantastylist #atlantamua #losangelesmua #arganoil #curlsforlife ##discoglamour #mekemakeup #melissakennedymakeup #showup&showout@mekemakeup #whistlewhileyouwork #yingyangtwins @yingyangtwins

[byteintuit]

That curl got me like..💘 . . . #curlyhairstyles #curlyhairs #bnwphotos #sillyface #sillyfaceselfie #curlsoncurls #bedheads #curlsfordays #curlsforlife #naturalcurls #naturalcurlyhair #tuesdayselfie #easyhair #wakeupandgo #5minutesofvanity #dramatics #currentmood #newhairstyle #funhair #playfulmood #bnwlovers #monochromes #cutecurls #cutehair #bettyboop #lovemycurls #differentlook #1920s #flappergirl #vintagehair #vintagehairstyle