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readnburied · 1 year

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Book Review: Eliza and Her Monsters by Francesca Zappia

Date of Publishing: May 30th, 2017

Author: Francesca Zappia

Publisher: Greenwillow Books

Genre: Contemporary, Young Adult

After finding out the release date of this book I realize I’m kind of late to the party. But, don’t fret, that’s the norm for me. I’ve properly got back into reading since a couple of years ago, so I’m like the backlist queen because I’m reading books that have been published ages ago and gushing about them as if they’re new releases.

However, despite being late to the party, I’m still going to gush about this book because it was one of the cutest books I’ve ever read in quite a while. Not to mention this made me wish I was an artist so I could draw my own comic strip. And fan fiction is not a genre I write, but after reading this story, it made me want to give it a try, though I doubt I ever would, but it’s nice to think about it.

The story follows Eliza Mirk who is your typical definition of an outcast. She doesn’t have any friends and most of the people would consider her unpopular and weird, but she has a secret. A secret she likes to keep to herself as it protects her from the rest of the world. But she’s incredibly popular online because of her comic strip, Monstrous Sea and goes by the name Lady Constellation. Everybody loves her comic, but no one knows who she really is and that’s how she likes it. Then comes in Wallace Warland who happens to be a fan of Eliza’s comic just like everybody else and writes fan fiction based on the comic.

When Eliza comes in contact with Wallace, which signals the inception of their friendship, things start looking up for Eliza’s social life, even though deep down she’s afraid of Wallace finding out her true identity despite the fact that she wants to tell him herself. But things kind of fall of the rails for Eliza when her secret comes out in a way she never expected—in a way I never expected either—her world falls of its axis and the next she knows, she has to face the world and especially the boy who she’s started falling for.

I found this book to be adorable… and sweet. You can’t help but smile when you read this book which was what I did the entire time I was reading. Francesca Zappia not only nailed the family dynamics in this story but the way Eliza feels the need to hide her true identity from the world as she continues to do the thing that she loves the most is something I can relate to on a personal level. I felt seen by this book. Not to mention the fact that Wallace is one adorable character, who has his own secrets, but is a genuine person nonetheless and that’s all we’re looking for in this world—a bit of honesty.

Moreover, the writing style is easy and the pace is steady. You keep turning page after page and it doesn’t feel as if you’re experiencing bumps across this journey of the two characters who’re trying to show and hide at the same time. This was my first book by this author, but since I enjoyed her writing style, I definitely want to read other stories by her and hopefully I’ll enjoy those as well.

The plot wasn’t something unique, but it did bring with it its own unique flavor. I’ve never read a book involving a comic artist, so I found that pretty interesting. And I could relate to Eliza in a lot of ways, maybe that’s why I enjoyed this book as much as I did. Even when I was telling my friend about this book she also said that I’m like the real/human version of Eliza and maybe she’s right. Not only are the characters fleshed out really well, there’s something about each of them that make you feel something on a personal level and for me that character was Eliza, so thank you Francesca for writing this story and creating this character.

And the way Eliza’s secret comes out, I must say that was creative and something I did not see coming. I love it when authors catch me by surprise and this was one hell of a climax. I really need to learn a thing or two by Francesca Zappia about writing the climax as I always screw that part up. I’m a terrible writer. Pity party aside, the climax was amazingly executed and the ending was perfect. I couldn’t have asked for a better ending and if you wish to know how this book ends, then go pick yourself a copy. I highly recommend this book and the next time somebody asks me for a recommendation, I’m definitely naming this book as my first pick.

So there we go, my thoughts on Eliza and Her Monsters by Francesca Zappia. If you read this book, then do let me know in the comments what you thought of it and whether or not you agree with my opinions. If not, then do let me know if you intend to read it, because I know you won’t regret it.

#Read n Buried #Reading #currently reading #books and reading #booklr #Book Review #book community

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tetsunova · 3 years

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notes they’d give you

with: multiple characters x gn!reader as always

genre: fluff + crack

type: imagines???

a/n: i go on hiatus for a couple days and forget everything bare w me. writing’s still the same (i think)

masterlist

Doodles. Expect a crumpled piece of paper aimed straight to the back of your head that could contain anything from small hearts with both your initials in them to a whole comic strip. This boy makes sure his pencil case (if he ever makes one; it’s usually pens and pencils just dumped into his bag) has coloured pens, since ‘it brings out the best of his art’. Needless to say the drawings look miserable and nothing like they’re supposed to but it’s the effort that counts. His face lights up when he finds out you store all (well the almost decent looking ones) the doodles he makes in your journal. He’s most likely going to get caught throwing the paper but oh well that’s a story for another day.

Bokuto, Tendou, Matsukawa, Nishinoya, Tanaka, Hinata

Pick-up lines. He thinks he’s so cheeky and sly when he’s doing this. If he gets a single giggle or smile when you read the most pathetic pick-up lines he could ever find, it’s over for you. Thereafter, expect one of those either already placed on your desk when you get to school or just placed in between the pages of one of your notebooks. Now what he didn’t expect was getting pick-up lines in return, not the stupid kind, rather the ones that are aimed straight at his heart. Ladies and gentlemen, and my non-binaries, I now present to you a blushing mess. (Just imagine a blushing picture of him thank you). When I say he cannot even bear to hold your hand because of how flustered he is, I mean it.

Kuroo, Tsuki, Oikawa, Lev, Semi, Suna, Atsumu

Letters. Just a few words or lines aren’t enough for him to express what he feels, no no. Only a letter seems adequate at most. Now he knows he’s not always the best at expressing his feelings or talking about what’s on his mind, so he writes. That’s what he does best so why not put it to use. He’d probably give it to you once he’s walked you home and will request you to read it before you sleep. Loves talking to you about it later. Sometimes they’re just poems that he thinks can express only a fraction of what he feels for you. I swear they’re the most beautiful things someone could ever write.

Kita, Akaashi, Osamu, Ushijima, Asahi, Sugawara

Sticky notes. You’ll find them stuck on your lunchbox, in the inside of your locker or maybe just over your table right before that one test you’ve been worrying about for weeks. They’ll have the cutest little messages- ‘I love you <3’ (yes with the heart drawn exactly like that) or maybe a ‘never doubt your looks, you’re the prettiest person I’ve met, inside and out’ when he knows you’ve been looking at the mirror a tad bit too much. He knows he gets a little too busy sometimes, so he thinks of this as a way of showing you that you’re always on his mind no matter where he is or what he’s doing.

Kenma, Yamaguchi, Kageyama, Konoha, Iwaizumi, Daichi

Bonus for Kags cause happy birthay to our lil blueberry headed gremlin <3

Greeting Cards. He’s so quiet all the time, and he knows that. It’s just that when you’re around, he feels a little too much. His heart beats a little too fast, he’s mesmerised by the trail of perfume you leave a little too much and your hands entangled with his make him smile a little too much, but he doesn’t mind. He could never mind. So he makes his actions speak louder than his words. Since he isn’t quite well aware of which one he should give you, he ends up picking the ones with the most idiomatic expressions. High chance he picks one with a dirty joke and doesn’t get why you’re laughing once he gives it to you, at all.

taglist: join here :)

@ri-days @bokubear @yatsurinamikaze @sakusaww @mxtchalilies and @ushijimacentral cause she hyped me up ily

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pascalpanic · 3 years

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Miller Morales Mechanic Shop (Frankie Morales x f!Reader)

Part One of Miller Morales Mechanic Shop

Summary: Something is wrong with your car. What, exactly? You have no clue. So you bring it in to some professionals- who also have a toddler running around the shop.

W/C: 2.3k

Warnings: language, Frankie is a dad, brief mention of divorce and trauma bc poor Frankie, there is a child heavily involved in this so if you don’t like kids this isn’t for you :)

A/N: WELCOME TO PART ONE EVERYONE! This is such a cute AU and I’m BEYOND excited to start sharing it with you all! I don’t know how many parts this will be or anything but I can’t wait to take it and run with it.

Marisol Morales behaves for very few people. One of those is Ben Miller. Unfortunately, she has decided to break her own rules today.

Frankie loves summer. He loves his little girl playing outside in her baby pool, taking her for walks around the neighborhood with their three-legged dog, all of the fun parts. The hard part is when the nanny goes on a vacation and Mari has to come to work with him.

Benny and Frankie, ever since the chaos that was the Lorea mission, run a small mechanic shop together. Miller Morales Mechanic Shop isn’t necessarily the busiest place in town, but they make enough to get by and have some disposable income too. Mari loves to hang around the shop with her daddy and uncle. She’s there more than Frankie would like, but he supposes it’s not the worst thing in the world. When Frankie and Jules split and Frankie won full custody, he’d hoped a nanny would take care of most everything when Mari is home all day in summer. Sadly, he was in for a rude awakening when no Mary Poppins showed up on his doorstep.

It’s normally not too bad; Benny hung the moon in Mari’s eyes. If she won’t do something for her daddy, which is still somewhat rare, she’ll always do it for her Uncle Benny. That makes the day run much smoother. Mari has a whole host of quiet-time activities and toys to play with, and the men generally trade off periods of either working on the cars or being with the little girl.

Her favorite activities at the shop include drawing on the concrete with thick sticks of chalk and playing with her toy helicopters and planes. Benny insists tanks are cooler, but Mari prefers flying her Polly Pockets in the chopper, running through the garage and making flight noises. She’s a smart little thing; for her age, she’s picked up big words and can make sentences out of three words, which is quite a stretch for a baby just over two years of age. She calls for Benny and Daddy and knows the names of his tools: wench, scu-dwive, and her favorite, win-seeled wipe fwuid. She loves to babble at customers while they get their oil changed.

Being shit with cars is no fun. It only increases the anxiety when some light flashes on your dashboard. The lights can mean so many things that you find it ridiculous; “check engine”? Check it for what? To save yourself the anxiety, you find your nearest mechanic and pay them to deal with it.

Today, as you pull over into a gas station, you check your phone and find that the nearest shop is a place you haven’t heard of. It must be new. Miller Morales Mechanic Shop, 0.6 miles away. The name implies something more local and homegrown. You’re more than willing to support a place like that, so you start up the engine, pray you don’t explode, and make your way over to the shop.

It’s nearby, like the map indicated. The outside is a quaint little place, tucked in a strip mall next to a coffee shop, a dentist, and an insurance agency. The three car bays are empty, and knowing next to nothing about how these shops work, you pull inside and park your car, letting it run as you wait for an employee. The bell dinged to let them know you were here, so you stay patient and listen idly to the hum of the talk radio show from your car’s speakers.

After a minute or two pass, you realize that maybe this wasn’t the right place to be. Maybe you were supposed to go in the front or something. Concluding that you probably aren’t where you’re supposed to be, you turn off the car and get out only to be greeted by the sound of buzzing lips.

You can hear a baby’s voice, mimicking some kind of vehicle’s sound, and for a second you’re worried this place must have you hearing things. Then, from a swinging door to the front comes a little girl, running and babbling to herself about her toy helicopter.

She has a head full of dark brown curls, tied back into two puffs with pink scrunchies, and matching pink leggings and a t-shirt far too big for her, the back emblazoned with the shop’s logo. She’s barefoot, tiny feet slapping against the cold cement.

“I told you I had to piss, Fish!” A man’s voice shouts from one end of the garage.

“No you didn’t, dipshit!” Another man shouts back. Being caught in the middle of their argument is quite comical, if you’re being honest with yourself. “She’s fucking two! You can’t leave her alone like that, man!”

The first voice is matched to a person as a tall blonde man emerges from the customer service side of the shop. “Marisol Morales, come here,” he insists sternly as he rolls up the sleeves of his jumpsuit. “Come on, you’re gonna trip.” Ben is embroidered on a patch over his heart.

She pouts at him before stumbling forward and continuing to run, stopping as she sees you and looking up in confusion. Her lower lip sticks out in a pout as her eyes scan your face, as if she’s trying to remember if she knows who you are. “Hi,” she finally concedes as you bend to her level.

“Hi there,” you smile and hold out a hand. “What’s your name?” You pick her up, holding her on your hip so that she doesn’t trip, like Ben so desperately feared.

The second, unknown voice shouts for the little girl again before boots clunk on concrete up to you, rounding your car and stopping. This must be the girl’s father, you realize, as you rake your eyes up his body. He wears the same navy blue jumpsuit as the other man, though it’s unsnapped over his chest, exposing the white t-shirt beneath. The patch on his chest reads Catfish. He wears a ball cap and warm brown curls peek out from under it. He has scruff and a hooked nose that perfectly matches the one on the little girl. “I Mari,” she introduces herself proudly.

“Hey, leave her alone, Mar,” the man shakes his head as he hoists her up to hold her on his hip. “I’m so sorry about that,” he says with an embarrassed smile, showing a dimple beneath the scruff on his chin.

“No, it’s not a problem,” you laugh then set her down and tell the little girl your name. “Aren’t you just the cutest?” You chuckle as she looks at you. She blushes and buries her face in the man’s chest, giggling shyly.

He looks down at the little girl then up at you again. “Well, uh, hi. I’m Frankie, and you’ve met Mari already.”

“Your daughter?” you ask as you look at the pudgy little girl, who now stares at you in awe.

Frankie nods and adjusts his ball cap, pushing his hair back with it. “Yep. Our nanny is on vacation, so she gets to hang out around here,” he chuckles and kisses her head, setting her down. “Go see Benny, yeah?” He asks her. She happily waddles off towards the blonde man, who gives you a wave then heads into the back. “What brings you in?”

“Would you laugh if I told you I don’t really know?” You admit with a shy smile. “My check engine light came on while I was on the highway. I don’t know the first thing about cars, so I was hoping you’d figure out what that meant.”

“Nah, no laughing here,” he nods and gives you a genuine smile before looking over at your car. “Shouldn’t be too much of a problem. I’ll have you pop the hood for me and I’ll give it a look?” He asks.

“That would be great. Thank you,” you tell him, the desperation for his help in your voice. Now that you get the chance to really look at him, he’s quite attractive. His eyes are deep set and a beautiful brown, and they crinkle when he smiles. Facial expressions only accentuate the lines in his face, but he’s certainly not old. His eyes still hold his youth.

“No problem.” He leads you to the car and you pop the hood open before getting out. “Could I take your keys?” he asks you. “Just so I can turn it on and off and all that good stuff.”

“Yeah, of course,” you nod frantically and hand them over to him. “I’ll… be in the waiting room?”

“That’s how we usually do it,” he chuckles as he takes the keys from you. “Just shout for Benny if Mari annoys you again.”

That makes you frown. “She’s not annoying at all. She’s adorable,” you smile as you look over your shoulder and see her and the blonde man playing together.

“The two aren’t mutually exclusive,” he laughs and points his wrench at you as he walks to the hood of the car.

Shaking your head, you can’t help but laugh as you head back to the waiting room. You walk in and Mari perks up, turning to look at you. “Hi! Playing helicopter,” she tells you in her stunted speech as she holds up the toy.

“You sure are,” you nod and sit next to her. “Can I play?” You ask, looking up at Benny, silently asking him the question too.

He nods and Mari squeals happily. “Friend!” She shrieks and hands you another helicopter. “Go pew pew, okay?” She drags them across the toy mat like they’re cars, and you follow suit.

“Okay,” you laugh. Looking up at the blonde man, you extend a smile his way and introduce yourself. He’s busy repairing a Barbie dollhouse with a screwdriver.

“Nice to meet you. I’m Ben, Benny, whatever you wanna call me.”

Driving your helicopter around the ground, following Mari’s lead, you chuckle. “No preference?”

“Fish calls me Benny.”

“Fish?” You ask and tip your head.

“Frankie, whatever. We’re buddies from the service. His code name was Catfish,” the man explains with a shrug, testing the hinges of the plastic door.

That makes you smile down at Frankie’s daughter. “Really, just buddies? Could’ve sworn you’d be brothers,” you tease the blonde, blue-eyed man. “Does Frankie know how to do his daughter’s hair?” You ask and fiddle with her two pigtails.

“Yes, he does,” Frankie insists as he walks out to the front, cleaning a wrench. “But just barely.”

You look up at him, embarrassed. “Her pigtails just look a little messy. Then again, she was running around like crazy,” you laugh and watch her rush over to Frankie, insisting he pick her up.

Bending down to grab her, Frankie groans at the ache in his joints. “She was. I could use some pointers, if you’ve got ‘em.”

“Of course,” you nod and stand too, brushing the dust from the concrete floor off on your pants. “What’s the verdict on the car?” You ask.

Frankie turned, watching as Benny walks out to the shop, but he turns back to face you. “Oh, right. The engine was misfiring, and unburned fuel was being put into the exhaust system, and that damaged the catalytic converter.”

You nod as you listen to him, really staring at his face more than anything. He’s just so damn pretty, you note as you admire the curve of his nose, his slightly sunken and dark eyes. His lips look beautiful and soft, even though they seem a little chapped. When he stops talking, it takes you a second to process it. “I don’t know what that means,” you admit with a shy smile. “I told you. I don’t know shit about cars,” you laugh, playing it off like you were lost when you were really lost in his eyes.

He shakes his head and laughs, bouncing Mari on his hip. “Your car is gonna need some work. Couple hours,” he shrugs. “If Benny and I get to working on it together, an hour and a half, maybe?” He admits.

“Yeah, that’s great. I can watch Mari,” you offer.

Frankie would never be this trusting normally. You’re a straight-up stranger, but your demeanor is good enough for him. Besides, you’re right here. He can check on the two of you every so often, and Mari seems to love you. “That would be great,” he smiles. “You really don’t have to.”

“No, I have nothing better to do,” you chuckle and look at the little girl. “You wanna play?”

Mari nods excitedly and Frankie sets her down. She rushes back to her toy mat and you watch her go. “Thank you, again, for fixing all this.”

“Just doing my job,” he nods. This time, it’s his turn to admire you. He stares at your face, examining the curves and angles that make you up. Your eyes are kind and warm as they follow the little girl, and he can see that he’s making a good choice here.

When you sit down, Mari comes and sits cross-legged across from you. “What are we gonna play?” You ask her, looking at her wide variety of toys. Her pile includes dinosaurs, Matchbox cars, lots of toy helicopters and planes, Barbie dolls, and a plastic tea set.

“Tea party!” She says and hands you a tiny plastic cup and a felt muffin.

“Oh my goodness,” you gasp in a fake accent. “How delightful!”

Frankie peeks over his shoulder at the two of you. He could really get used to that sight.

taglist:

@remmysbounty @mishasminion360 @blo0dangel @binarydanvvers @sleep-tight1 @apascalrascal @randomness501 @spideysimpossiblegirl @notabotiswear @pedro-pastel @sanchosammy @lv7867 @greeneyedblondie44 @hunnambabe @astoryisaloveaffair @emesispo @pedritobalmando @magikfanatic @a-court-of-feysand-and-elorcan @princess76179 @deltadebelleza @tacticalsparkles @queridopascal @wintermuteway @maievdenoir @dobbyjen @beskarboobs

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soh-da-meatball · 3 years

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Hi! Question 11 with Cats for the ask game? ^^

Hi dear!! so sorry for the late reply I tried to tag and link as many people as I can!!

11. Any fanart you especially like from [IF]? Include artist!!

@thunderwhenhepurrs (btw they can write AND draw like do you SEE THE TALENT) If I had to pick a fav the Mistoffelees and Macavity tango, the literal audible GASP I let out when i first saw it (link)

@rainbowratsstuff THE ABSOLUTE CUTEST ART like muacks muacks would cuddle and cry because they're so cute 😭💕 I can't pick a fav but ONE of my many favs would have to be the one with Mistoffelees in his den!! (link)

@lozeyart ICON. KING. THIS ART. (link)

@cat-brrr has THE BEST Alonzos and just incredible character design and expressions and I love them all so very much 🥺❤❤❤ (and all the little comics are so funny too please go read them all) If I have to pick one art to feature I'd definitely pick Cold Paws because it's just. so. CUTE!!! (link)

@storyweaverofgondor AGAIN amazing fantastic stunning art!!! My favorite is definitely I've Got You, Brother because it made me so emotional when I first saw it 🥺🥺🥺 (link)

@frodosso THE SOFTEST. MOST 🥺🥺🥺🥺 ART. 11/10 best beautiful A1 wagyu grade (link)

@0zzysaurus okay his art is SO SO GOOD like the linework, the colours, the expressions!!!??? but I would like to direct the focus to THE JERRIES. His design is my absolute favorite Mungojerrie design EVER (link)

@chocolama-stuff shhh stop you have to follow her no no trust me dude YOU HAVE TO because LOOK AT THIS (link)

@yoa-artblog no no listen I'm not playing FOLLOW THEM. ARE U KIDDING ME LOOK AT THIS??? 😭❤❤ (link)

@oggysonart if anybody is to make a CATS animation it HAS TO BE Oggy because LOOK.. and after you're done looking you can go to their blog and continue looking because I would just link their whole blog as my fav (link)

@linadoonofficial THE KITTEN ART 😭💕💕💕I can't someone please pass me my defibrillator (link)

@roselessart drew the CUTEST Demestrap art and I love it very very much muacks muacks will kiss goodnight tuck lovingly into bed 😭💕💕 (link)

@munku-strap-on is a blog run by @saph-y and @princess-triton two INCREDIBLE artists!!! so I'll do you one better.. I'll link TWO ARTS >:D (but forreal please go look at their blog the fashion pieces are stunning omg) (link) (link)

@frozenladycat the... the- box 🥺😭💕💕💕💕.. THE BOX TRO- *sobs in corner* TH-THE BOX T- *screams* (link)

@nunsongici HER ART. the fluidity of movement in her work!!!!!! THE COLORSSS 😭💕💕💕 (link)

@1deabril art of Tugger holding his bagpipes ready to stir some shit is my absolute FAVOURITE please he looks so proud of himself 😭💕💕 (link)

@mungos-your-jerries drew the Deut bros as TWITCHES and it fills my heart with serotonin every time i see it (link)

@sneakydraws has a Tuggoffelees High School AU comic series and SHHH I don't need to say more just click the link and read Part 1 I PROMISE YOU you will want more huahuahua >:D (link)

@sgtsemisauce has developed a CATS comic @catsthecomic and asdkgjhlsdg I would just link the whole blog as my fav but I'll pick this comic strip that got me HOOKED (and it will get you HOOKED TOO) (link)

I'm pretty sure I've still accidentally left out many incredible artists and I am so sorry (please feel free to tag them and your fav art from them!!) but please just know that this fandom is so full of talent and creativity and we're all blessed to have them here 🥺💕💕

#cats the musical #cats musical #i spent an hour on this i think 😂 but it was WORTH IT #i have to go spring clean now please let me know if anything is linked wrongly/not working!! 💕#meatball asks #dont mind me just updating my list 🌚

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sleepyconfusedpotato · 3 years

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IM BACK SLEEPY

Rn I'm having my semester exams, but HELLO THE GHOST X JADE FLUFFY COMIC STRIP OF THEM CUDDLING IN BED IS THE CUTEST THING EVER 🥺🥺😫🥺

Ack! Semangat Smokey dan buat temen2 Indo yang masih skolah yang lagi mendekati UAS! We're all in the same fight right now (๑˃ᴗ˂)ﻭ

Yes I'm just another fluff starved girl who still can't get over Ghost's death even after a decade and I'm not ashamed.

Sleepy a little over a month ago : *sees the lack of Ghost content in CoDblr*

Sleepy : SLAMS THE TABLET AND TAKES PEN "Fine, I'll do it myself." *STARTS DRAWING GHOST'S HC ANALYSIS FACE*

#sleepyanswers #glad y'all loved the little snippet!

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veiledsilver · 3 years

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Top five moments you've felt like the universe was messing with you.

Oh boy everyone get ready this is a long list. In descending order, from mildly funny looking back on it to "oh god oh shit oh fuck":

5. Catfishing: College Edition

In 6th grade, I decided to apply to colleges early to see how they were like. I was scared that if they knew I was too young, they'd arrest me. So I created a gmail account as my persona, a white 12th grader named Emilie Alexander. Emilie was planning to go into nursing, dating a high school linebacker named Kyle Kenderson, and deathly allergic to bee stings. If she even came near a bee, she would die.

This part was of the utmost importance.

See, I was constantly paranoid that one day, the jig would be up- I might forget that my fake last name was Alexander. Or the college dean might come knocking at my door and tear up my home in his mad search for Emilie. If that happened I would fake her tragic death, presumably caused by one big fucking bee.

I secretly collected my information. What nearby states were the prettiest to visit. Which colleges were the safest and most affordable. How often they held courses that I liked. In my emails with colleges I tried to sound as mature and professional as possible.

Then, one day, a college member asked me what high school I was in, so they could check my records.

My blood froze.

It was time to bring out the bee.

In response to their question, I sent an email that was like this:

"Dear Mr. McLaughlin, I was a proud graduate of- ugh! Ah! Kyaaaa! Uwaa! W-w-what's this... huge goddamn bee doing here?! Eek, pardon my foul language! It's just that, as I told you earlier, being stung by a bee would kill me.... and now it's stung me thrice (three times)!!

What do I do?! I can't die... I've always wanted to attend your beautiful college...

But this is... the end...

Mr. McLaughlin...

*looks at you sadly*

Tell... my mother... I loved her...

*dies*"

He never responded, probably because he was rendered speechless, but I never touched that account again.

My private gmail for fun stuff like tumblr still has "Alexander" as a surname, though.

4. Wild and Authentic

Alright. Alright. So. My art teacher in middle school.

Right off the bat, they endeared themselves to the tumblr art kids- they proudly used they/them pronouns, dyed their hair vibrant colors, deeply encouraged OC creation, and was chill with any art style even if it was anime. Mx. Mason was very cool, except for one thing.

We had complete artistic freedom when it came to their assignments, EXCEPT FOR ONE THING.

Drumroll, please.

Take a deep breath if you must.

Ready?

...

Cats had to have extremely distinct whisker pores.

YES, they believed that modern depictions of cats were too streamlined. Too... idealized. As a cat owner themselves, they were convinced that society's vision of cats did not do their feral feline ancestors justice. In making their faces flawlessly smooth-furred, we were stripping the cat of its true nature.

I found this out the hard way, when I was drawing warrior cats fanart for class (it was of Firestar cuddled in the arms of an orange haired anime catgirl who was his reincarnation in my first ever comic series, Warriors Neko Desu! ♡ Heart Academy Dokidoki).

Mx. Mason came over to look at my magnum opus, and I expected them to have their socks knocked off at my artistic talent. They lifted up my drawing for all to see, and I smugly leaned back in my seat.

Only for them to launch into a passionate lecture about how, in neglecting to draw whisker pores on cats, I was DENYING THIS FICTIONAL CAT OF ITS WILD AUTHENTIC SELF.

My friends absolutely lost it when I told them this story, and there was a period of time when all our discord nicknames were wild and authentic too.

As for Firestar and his counterpart Hoshineko Orenji-chan, I never did give them wild authentic whisker holes, but that's to be expected of a kittypet, I guess.

3. Stan Jungkook Or Whatever

A couple years ago, my family and I flew to Seoul, South Korea, to visit our relatives and teach me more about my heritage. It was very nice! I got to visit shrines and festivals and palaces, and I was in awe that this was what my ancestors had once seen in their daily lives.

Then, when we went to the modern side of Korea, I realized just how much I didn't fit in.

It was clear that I didn't know how to act, or how to speak Korean, and I spent my days fumbling around and getting scammed multiple times by salesmen. But I clowned myself the most... during an interactive event with kpop stars.

They had this experimental event where holograms of the boys would sing onstage and dance in place of the actual idols. Before the show began, girls could stand in booths that scanned their appearances, and holograms of THEM could dance onstage with the hologram boys.

I didn't know this.

When Cousin Ae-cha told me to step inside one of the machines, I thought I'd be hilarious and stand backwards, so it would scan the back of me instead of my front. As I walked out, I saw other girls putting on their best makeup, cutest clothes, and most expensive accessories, and I slowly realized that I was in danger.

But the danger didn't come until halfway through the concert, where the boys looked eagerly off-stage and a holy staircase appeared and all the hologram girls descended from heaven. There were cherry blossoms. There were roses. There was me, among the crowd of beautiful airbrushed girls, walking backwards.

I felt the judgemental gazes of twenty girls and their mothers.

Each boy danced with a girl, who got a cute animated moment with special effects, and sang about how they found a dream girl to have a true love romance with. Finally, all the girls vanished except one, and it was me.

One of the boys didn't dance with any girls, and now he was all alone in the rain, feeling dejected that HE did not find his true love girl to have a dream romance with. Then the rain stopped, the sun came out, and I emerged. Still backwards.

He was thrilled and sang about how my face (that he didn't see) stole his heart, and now everyone in the audience was giggling, and he slowly brought me very close to kiss me... but because I was backwards, his nose was cutely nuzzling my hair.

The audience members- at least the adults- were now laughing their asses off. His lips met the back of my head, and together we vanished into the wind.

I'd say I couldn't show my face there ever again, but I never did show my face, so... hm...

2. Horrid Little Temptress

If I wasn't a minor, I'd need a drink before starting this story. Sadly, I cannot drown my sorrows- and neither should you after you hear this, because it's only fair.

Mrs. Appleby was my Spanish teacher in like, 9th grade. Even the wild and authentic art teacher thought she was insane. Appleby forced kids to brew tea for her and yelled at them when they didn't get it right, and I thought she had a chronic squint until I realised she just did that to mock me and my Asian eye-folds. She forced us to watch Dora the Explorer to "absorb knowledge." Everyone fucking hated Mrs. Appleby.

But the worst thing she ever did... was during the school festival.

See, whenever she's angry, she zooms right into kids' faces to scream at them. Her wrinkled flesh would blot out the goddamn sun and all you see are her bloodshot yellow eyeballs so victims just stayed rooted to the spot like cornered animals or something similar. This is important.

Because when she was sampling her own brownies (read: hoarding them so no one else could eat them), one parent foolishly decided to grab one and she thought it was a student and she grabbed his wrist so hard she could've nearly snapped it and... and... zoomed into his face.

Except she underestimated his height and kissed him by accident, but it was more like her mouth was sucking in his face like a vacuum.

His wife was shrieking like an ape. His kid, my classmate, saw his social life flash before his eyes.

In her defense, she did not mouth to mouth with him on purpose and afterwards she cried in the bathroom and when I foolishly followed her in to comfort her, because I am a teacher's pet through and through, she snatched the paper towels I got for her and wailed that she was a-

A-

HORRID LITTLE TEMPTRESS.

If I had decided to not be kind, I never would've heard that string of fucking words. But I did. And I paid for it dearly. The end.

1. Violence IS The Answer, Sometimes

Thomas, my dearly detested.

Back in sixth grade, I used to have a crush on him because he had the surfer boy look with nicely tanned skin and pale blond hair and the clearest aquamarine eyes I've ever seen. He also liked surfing and swimming. He seemed like the perfect little trophy waifu except for one absolute dealbreaker.

He and his parents were extremely conservative and so, when I told him I liked him, his response was basically "haha no you're a [slur] and would probably eat my dog."

I was horrified and ran away to cry. But then, by the next day, I decided I needed to punish him. Thomas walked in before class started and I was waiting for him with these hands. I kicked him so he doubled over, slammed his face into his chair's seat, and quickly clambered on top of him to SIT ON THE BACK OF HIS HEAD. He started shaking and twitching and trying to pry me off, but eventually he went limp and stopped moving.

I thought he fell asleep, but Mohammed, another classmate who was bullied by Thomas, told me that Thomas might never wake up again (not that he was very sad about this. I didn't know until later, but Thomas said slurs at him too).

While I was sitting on the guy, he'd straight up passed out from the lack of oxygen.

Screaming and crying, I told our homeroom teacher that Thomas suddenly fainted, and she was the type of Caucasian that thought all little Asian kids were sweet and innocent, so it didn't even cross her mind that? It might've been me? Who sat on his head when she walked in?

He was sent home early that day. I had to go to a different school next year because Thomas's mom threatened legal action. The only reason I didn't get punished further was because my rich cousins out-Karen'd her and donated a huge amount of money to the school to keep them quiet.

Anyway, I never did anything that insane ever again, because something like that is enough for a lifetime. My cousins made it clear they would never back me up again. I was sure this whole event would be put behind me, too.

But last fall, during my first day of online learning... who did I see in my zoom meeting... BUT THOMAS! I had my mic and camera off, but the moment he saw my name, his face went pale. His soul would've left his body, but then it would've gone to hell, so it wisely decided to stay inside.

Still, out of shame and embarrassment, I never turned my camera on for the rest of the school year.

#asks #there you have it #i feel like I'm confessing my sins to the pope

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carriagelamp · 3 years

Photo

April l was apparently the month for me to revisit some children’s authors who are steeped in controversy at the moment. So here’s my hot (well, lukewarm) takes on issues that absolutely do not need a single other person talking about them. Also some actual good books that I read this month!

Badger in the Basement

The Animal Ark books are a childhood classic — though I recently found out that apparently there’s a difference between American and British publications, and the American versions didn’t include a lot of actual COOL animals which is… bizarre. As a Canadian stuck in the middle of this, this nonsense drives me nuts. This one was about the main character, the daughter of pair of vets, trying to protect a local badger sett from men wanting to participate in badger digging and baiting. These books are always feel-good, and it was a nice single-day-read while I waited for a library book to come in.

Chi’s Sweet Home

The cutest manga series about the misadventures of a little kitten, Chi, who has been adopted by a loving family. I’ve never bothered to read them in order, but apparently this time I stumbled across the last in the series -- whoops! Still, stood on it’s own pretty easily, and it was a fun read! Things get tense when the family realize that they may have found Chi’s original home… and may have to give up Chi forever.

Earth Before Us: Dinosaur Empire!

This was an odd graphic novel, I feel like I’m not sure who the target audience was exactly. It was a nonfiction comic done in a Magic School Bus style, with the purpose of teaching current, up-to-date facts about the animals that lived in the Mesozoic Era. If you’re into dinosaurs, you’ll probably enjoy this! The art is absolutely adorable, I love the dinosaur illustrations, and I learnt some really neat facts. That being said, the pages are really dense, and there’s a lot of info crammed in… some of it will probably go way over a child’s head without specific additional teaching or a very strong personal interest. But that being said, a dinosaur obsessed kid is still probably going to really dig this… as would a dinosaur obsessed adult. It wasn’t my cup of tea exactly but I’m sure it is someone’s.

assorted Dr Seuss Books

I love these types of controversies because it means getting to listen to every moron who has never had an opinion on Dr Seuss ever start generating a mile of them out of the aether. So many people are so mad about the six books that are getting retired and I bet most of them haven’t even read them. These are not the friggin Cat In The Hat or The Lorax or even the likes of Yertle The Turtle. I was raised by a grade one teacher, was a voracious reader who loved Dr Seuss, and wrote my university thesis on children’s literature, and I still only knew two of the six books on that list. So by all means, if you want to write an essay explaining why those specific books are worth clinging to, feel free, but if you haven’t even heard of them maybe it’s not a big deal. *grumble*

Anyway, my grousing aside, it gave me the urge to reread a bunch of Seuss books, including the two retiring books I personally knew: McElligot’s Pool and To Think That I Saw It On Mulberry Street. I do still enjoy both, especially McElligot’s Pool which always sparked my imagination, but it’s obvious why they’re being retired and I personally think it’s the right choice. There’s so much good kidlit out there, we can survive without these.

Goodbye, My Rose Garden

A f/f romance manga, fairly standard fair though cute if you’re looking for some historical angst, pretty dresses, and mutual pining. A young Japanese woman moves to England in the hopes of meeting a writer (Mr Frank) who she has long admired. Along the way she is employed by an enigmatic woman with plenty of money, rumours, and melancholy following her. I’ll be honest, uncut romance isn’t really my genre, but I’ll probably still try to the second book to see if the story picks up.

From The Holocaust to Hogan’s Heroes: The Autobiography of Robert Clary

It’s no secret that I’ve been on a Hogan’s Heroes kick. This is the autobiography of Roberty Clary, who plays my favourite character in the show, Louis Lebeau. And holy shit what a life this man has had. He was a Jew growing up in France before the start of the war, and who was one of many children taken away from his family and sent off to the concentration camps in Germany. This was an amazing, intense, inspiring, and heartbreaking read… it has Clary’s voice all over it, and it tells everything from the charming childhood he had, to the horrors of the concentration camps, the brutality of survival, and then about his exciting journey into the entertainment industry afterwards. It’s an experience, would recommend if you’re a fan of the show.

The Ickabog

The second controversial author I read this month. Originally I was going to give Rowling’s new book a miss, given everything that’s been going on over the past few years, but in the end my curiosity got the better of me. Politics aside, it was a fun read! Not groundbreaking, but enjoyable enough and written in an interesting style. It didn’t read the same as a lot of modern kidlit, it felt more like a cross between a classic fairytale and a Dahl book. Perhaps a bit like Despereaux. It tells the tale of how an idyllic country gradually falls into ruin through the ignorance, inaction, and greed, and how a supposedly fictional monster hides the very real, human monsters at the heart of the country. It was cute and pleasant and I’m glad I decided to get it from the library, though for anyone who is choosing not to engage for political reasons: you aren’t missing anything major.

Franklin In The Dark

A Canadian classic. I don’t think there’s a single person my age who hasn’t read or been read a pile of these books, and the nostalgia is so comforting. I found this on Youtube and listened to someone read it to me, and honestly 10/10 would recommend for a calm evening.

The big reason I decided to seek this one out though, was because I finally got to the M*A*S*H episode that inspired this entire series! In the episode C*A*V*E, in which Hawkeye is freaking out over his claustrophia while the camp is forced to take shelter in a nearby cave during some intense shelling, he mentions that if he had been born a turtle he would have been afraid of his own shell, and that the other turtles would make fun of him cause he’d be forced to walk around in his underwear. And so this first story about a young turtle who’s afraid to sleep in his own shell and drags it around behind him. So if you were ever curious, Franklin the Turtle is in fact named after Dr Benjamin Franklin Pierce. (this is also why the French version is named Benjamin!)

Wolves of the Beyond: Lone Wolf

I loved the Guardians of Ga’Hoole books as a kid but I never read the Wolves of the Beyond series. This first book was an interesting read, Lasky does a great job creating worlds and societies for the animals that inhabit them. Lone Wolf is about a deformed wolf cub who was abandoned in the wilderness to die. And he would have, if a desperate mother bear, who had recently had her only cub killed, hadn’t stumbled across him and saved him, vowing to raise him as her own...

Petals

A “silent” graphic novel. It has beautiful artwork and is told entirely through pictures, no text at all. It’s loves and heart-wrenching, though it left me feeling somewhat unsatisfied… I felt like there should have been more. Still, a neat story.

The Southern Book Club‘s Guide To Slaying Vampires

What a banger of a novel!! I can’t recommend this one enough. It’s about a group of suburban mothers in the ‘80s who form a book club out of a shared need for community and a love of grisly true crime novels. But when a strange drifter appears in town and starts setting down roots… and when children begin disappearing… these women need to band together to confront the horrors that have invaded their neighbourhood, and face down not only a terrifying monster among them but the patriarchal system that allows it to flourish. To quote the preface:

“Because vampires are the original serial killers, stripped of everything that makes us human — they have no friends, no family, no roots, no children. All they have is hunger. They eat and eat but they’re never full. With this book, I wanted to pit a man freed from all responsibilities but his appetites against women whose lives are shaped by their endless responsibilities. I wanted to pit Dracula against my mom. As you’ll see, it’s not a fair fight.“

The Weirn Books: Be Wary of the Silent Woods

I love Chmakova’s graphic novels, though I’ve only ever read her slice-of-life middle grade series before. This one is pure fantasy and very fun. It’s about two cousin “weirns” — witches with demon familiars — who attend the local night school. Things get strange though when an ominous figure appears outside the old, abandoned school house deep in the Silent Woods, and begins tempting children down its path…

I’m very much looking forward to word of a second book and was honestly kind of surprised that I haven’t heard more about this book given how popular her other series is. This has all the same charm and quirks but for those of us who prefer stories based in fantasy rather than reality.

And A Bonus...

For some masochistic reason I got a Garfield book out of the library. Jeez, if I didn’t love these as a kid, I found them absolutely laugh out loud hilarious, and now I just don’t see it anymore. But here I will share the one strip in the book that actually made me laugh

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soyouareandrewdobson · 4 years

Text

Alex ze Pirate “Mini Review” 1: About Male Abuse

Alex ze Pirate is in my opinion the WORST “comic” series Dobson has ever written up until this point (date for archives: June 2020). Sure, I agree with people that his “hot take” comics on Star Wars Fans, political issues and virtue signaling for the sake of making brownie points are worse overall cause they are uneducated propaganda that give insight in how much of a loathsome human being driven by spite he genuinely is, but Alex “offends” me as someone who enjoys fiction. It may not be the worst thing ever written, but it just does so many things wrong in terms of storywriting, storytelling, presentation and creating fictional characters, I can’t help but wonder what went wrong that Dobson even remotely thought this thing would be a “successful” comic series to establish him as a creator. Cause I can tell you, having read the likes of Don Rosa’s work on Disney, Hilda, Cleopatra in Space, Spirou, Asterix, One Piece (of which I will talk a lot in my next few posts) and many more, I can confirm by comparison that Dobson’s pirates as a published comic would have only one use on the public shelves: alternative for toilet paper during the COVID-19 epidemic

Believe me, I would love to write an in depth analysis of everything wrong with Alex ze Pirate, from the lazy artwork up to even the publication history of this trainwrack. But doing so would take a lot of time and there is one individual part of this I think deserve at least extra attention. Something that in my opinion embodies quite well a lot of things I consider wrong with this comic. So before I am going over Alex in its entirety (and believe me, the day will come) let me just talk within the next few posts about one certain aspect and story of the comic, that genuinely got me to loath this comic to the core: Sam the Cabin Boy and “his” own individual story Dobson drew in three parts around 2010.

For starters, lets talk who Sam is: Sam is one of the main characters in the comic and actually the first person who joined Alex and Peggy in the initial pages of Legends, the “original” form of Alex ze Pirate.

See, back in 2004, Dobson released Alex ze Pirate in form of a single comic volume called “Legends” which features Alex trying to recruit a crew. The thing is around 78 pages thick and based on what I saw pretty terribly paced. For comparison: When Luffy in One Piece got his crew together, he spend multiple volumes and at least three minor story arcs to get Zoro, Nami, Sanji and Usopp to join him. All while also giving us good insight into the kind of people his new crewmates were (especially Sanji’s and Nami’s backstory got to me), defeating the likes of Buggy and Captain Black, meeting Dracula Mihawk and defeating one of the biggest bastards Eichiro Oda ever created in form of Arlong. What is the story how Sam joins the crew? An orphanage organizes an auction and sells kids off. Which I assume was even illegal in pirate times, so kudos for already showing us how despicable the world of Alex ze Pirate is to begin with and how much it deserves to be nuked in some sort of alien invasion.

Sam also doesn’t really get anything to do when he is introduced, just helping Alex escape on a small boat. Which is weird because he does not know her at all, she is just some stranger who bought him off and has no means to keep him in check, so why even bother following her and not let the mob get rid of Alex?

Anyway, I wish I could tell more about Sam’s involvement in Legends, but I don’t have really more than some scans of it in the beginning and near the end. So I don’t know his involvement in the rest of the volume. I also can’t say how he plays out in volume two, because that does not exist at all. Cause for reasons I will never understand, Dobson just abandoned the idea of telling a “coherent” and ongoing story with Alex ze Pirate and instead went to his colored one page comics/strips with it, turning it into what some people called “Garfield with Pirates” (which I consider a genuine insult towards any newspaper comic out there, even something as Boondocks). And the first thing we see of Sam in “classic” Alex ze Pirate?

The perverted dwarf of the crew showing of his shota underwear so that Alex and Sam stop bickering who is the cutest, leaving him embarrassed and humiliated.

Which kinda sums up his role in the comic to a t. Cause this is what Sam is: He is the buttmonkey of the crew. And honestly, I would not have a total problem with Sam being a buttmonkey, if a) he wasn’t it all the time, b) he would actually do something to deserve any form of humiliation and c) if the other characters in this comic itself would not be some of the biggest assholes I have ever seen, who get away with abusing the poor lad.

See, here is the problem: In a crew featuring a choleric homophobic soulless ginger

A black rat person who wants to fuck the ginger even without her consent

A furry abomination that has the same brain wavelengths as Chris Chan

And a perverted dwarf who tries to impersonate Happosai from Ranma 1/2

Sam is the only decent person in the entire crew. He works hard, he even questions the morality of his friends at times, he is honest, he is not perverted, almost good to the point of childish innocence and he has a very humble “goal” which is he wants to own his own piece of gold. Not even a big pile of treasure, just one single coin would be enough for him.

So he is likeable and relatable. In fact, if anything goes by, he may have been one of the most popular ones in the comic. And yet he is the one who gets constantly abused by “fate” and his friends, because as Dobson would say it, he is supposed to be the buttmonkey. There is just one problem: People do not necessarily like buttmonkeys.

I can primarily speak only for myself here, but I hope what I have to say resonates with others too. See, I get it: A character who is the butt of a joke can be fun. Like Daffy in Duck Amuck. But there is a fine line where a character being humiliated for the sake of a joke is fun (and perhaps even deserved because of his own shortcomings or deeds/actions that make the humiliation sort of kharmic, like lets say Johnny Bravo) and a character being humiliated to the point it feels disproportional, unfunny and mean spirited if not outright sadistic, can be crossed. Take Meg Griffin from Family Guy for example whose only “purpose” for existing within the last 12+ years is to get shat on by her family and the writers. People have no idea for a plot with her, so what do they do? Have her father physically and emotionally abuse her, fart in her face for what is supposed to count as a joke and then add additional insult to it by acknowledging that they are only doing this, because they have no other idea for her and think abuse is fun. Let me just tell you from experience, it is not.

And that is essentially what Sam is: He is the Meg Griffin of Alex ze Pirate, used by his creator as the butt of very unfunny jokes, even if he does not deserve any of the things said or done to him. Want to see some examples?

How about the description Dobson gives Sam within the introduction of one of his volumes, showing how little Dobson as the creator even cares for him.

Why is he called an unworthy “slob” if he is the only one who actually works? Shouldn’t a slob be someone like Dobson, who can’t even take care of himself anymore? Also the confirmation that he was kidnapped at the age of 16. And as we have no clarification how much time passed between Legends Vol. 1 and anything afterwards, that means that in a way Alex is a child abuser.

And now, here some examples by the rest of the cast. Like Uncle Peggy framing him for all sorts of his perverted actions and even trying to kill him for no apparent reason?

Alex trying to kill him with chicken pox…

…Destroying all his worldly posessions which is hilarious because he is a poor orphan…

…Essentially describing him as worthless because he was born with an Y-chromosome…

… doing the kind of thing Dobson claims women would never do to man, using their sex appeal to hurt them…

…forcing him to do some unnecessary and rather petty work for her in a physics defying manner (seriously, the way he holds the axe does not compute with how he swings it. Try it out yourself)

… stealing his food and just being a cruel sadistic cunt to him just because it is fun.

Which is “funny” in so far as that there are a few comics indicating she would jump his dick and ride it like a little pony if she could.

By the way, Talus and Atea are not better. None of them calls Alex out on her bullshit on average, Atea uses Sam to trigger traps in one story arc…

And Talus, the closest to a “friend” he is supposed to have, once for no apparent reason made him dig through his litterbox

And don’t get me even started when the characters decide to gang up on Sam, to the point he gets sexually harassedor is called to be less worth as a human being than the dirt you find in your belly button

Fuck’s sake, even in fanart everyone gangs up on him, even the freaking big bad of the story everyone is supposed to hate or be afraid of

Bottom line, Sam is an abuse victim played for laughs in this comics. And just to clarify, I do not think this was Dobson’s intention. But if the character is undeservingly the butt of jokes for the majority of over 120 strips, it turns nasty. The way Sam is treated, I just find disgusting and indictive of just how unlikable any other character in this comic is to the point I do not want to see this being turned into a proper “franchise”. And I assume others were disgusted by it too, cause Dobson eventually decided to make a story more or less addressing the treatment Sam receives, while also attempting to prove that deep down the assholes with starring roles in this trainwrack care for him. How did this play out? Well, I am going to talk about it, so likely not well. If you want to see the details, grab yourself some popcorn and take a toilet break before we tackle part 2 of this thing.

#andrew dobson #so you are a cartoonist #sjw #comics #comic #webcomic #alex ze pirate #sam the cabin boy #legends #tom preston #disgusting #male abuse #unfunny

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jabbajambler · 4 years

Text

Human

The Mandalorian/Din Djarin x f!OC

Word Count: 1,909

*GIF NOT MINE*

"Mando, can we talk?"

I mumbled loud enough for him to hear me. We weren't too far from the Ugnaught's house, but there were words I could not leave unsaid any longer.

I could see him turn to look at me, shrugging his shoulders. I suppose that was his way of saying go ahead.

"I mean, like, stop and talk."

"Can it wait until-" He grumbled.

"No, it can't!" I snapped, stopping dead in my tracks. "I'm sorry... I shouldn't have said it like that."

He sighed and turned around, standing in front of me with his head tilted. I looked into the dark glass of the helmet and there was a soft warmth within the chilling visor. A cloud of mystery surrounded him and everything he did. He was always so hot and cold, I never knew which side of him I would get.

"I'm so sorry." I paused to see if he had anything to say, but he remained completely silent. "You know, for attacking you, tying you up, forcing you to give me your bounty, and treating you like shit..."

I shifted my gaze towards the ground, beginning to rock on my feet. It wasn't the more apologetic thing to say, but I truly was sorry. My words were harsh, but the sincerity was there.

"It's okay."

"That's it?"

My eyes snapped back up to his helmet, completely bewildered by his lack of response. I couldn't tell if he didn't care or if he couldn't think of anything else to say.

He only shrugged once again and looked off in the distance, barely seeing the Ugnaught's house. I guess he truly was a man of very few words.

"We should get going before the sun sets."

I nodded and looked towards the child's pod. He cooed and stretched out his arms, blinking his big brown eyes. My heart jumped at the sight and couldn't stop myself from picking him up and cradling him in my arms.

I could sense Mando's eyes watching me the entire way, but I couldn't bring myself to look back at him.

The Ugnaught stood up on the tower next to his home, fixing the circuit board. Sparks were flying from his soldering iron and reflecting off his goggles. The sun had nearly set and the flickering of the light clashed beautifully with the blue sky.

"I thought you two were dead."

He turned around and looked down at us while we stared up at him in silence. With a shake of his head an exasperated sigh, he climbed down to join us on the ground.

"This is what was causing all the fuss?"

He pointed down to the little alien that was chasing around a small frog. His innocence amazed me. I still couldn't believe this little kid was fifty years old.

Mando fiddled with his vambrace as small electric currents continued to go through it. "I think it's a child." He mumbled.

"It is better to deliver it alive then."

Up until now I had completely forgotten about the fact that we had to turn this child over to someone. I hadn't met the client. I sort of just stole the mission without thinking about anything else.

"Our ship has been destroyed. We're trapped here." I crossed my arms, watching the alien as he walked away. "We need your help."

"Stripped. Not destroyed. The Jawas steal. They don't destroy." He handed Mando a small screwdriver to fix his haywire armor.

"Sure as hell looked destroyed from where I stood." I shrugged and returned to watching the child run after the amphibian, giggling as it chased it. I couldn't help but smile at the sight.

"They're protected by their crawling fortress. There's no way to recover the parts." Mando stated, messing with the wiring.

"You can trade."

I laughed. "Trade with the Jawas? Are you nuts or just plain stupid?"

Mando looked over at me with a disappointed sigh. "Myrah..." He whispered like it was a warning.

"I will take you to them... I have spoken." The Ugnaught nodded before leaving for his home.

I rolled my eyes and glanced back at the child. "Hey!"

Mando turned to see what the fuss was about. He spotted the child as well, standing innocently with half of the frog in its mouth.

"Spit that out!"

The child, of course, didn't listen, and proceeded to swallow the frog whole. He smiled up at us, resulting in a groan from Mando.

I chuckled and looked over at him, but he just kept watching the child. I couldn't blame him, it was quite possibly the cutest thing I had ever seen. We both had grown strangely attached to it since we found it.

He turned to look at me while I was lost in my own world. This time, I was too slow to hide the small smile that formed when I was watching the two of them. He kept looking at me, both of us just staring at one another in complete blissful silence.

"It's rude to stare." He joked. I could practically hear the grin in his words.

"I can't help it."

I meant it as an innocent joke, only continuing the playful banter we formed this week, but something had changed. We were far from being friends, but we no longer hated each other. I knew he could feel the change too. Suddenly I was back in his head, but there was a warmth to it now.

It wasn't so cold and lonely anymore.

He was the first to break the eye contact, turning and helping pack the small trailer the Ugnaught had prepared for the journey. I stayed back for a few moments, smiling to myself. Something was changing, something much greater than a small friendship. This was otherworldly and it was weird, but I loved it.

┉┉┉┉┉┉┉┉┉┉┉┉┉┉┉┉┉

I could feel someone shaking me as I slowly came to my senses. At some point during the trip, I must've fallen asleep again. I didn't really mind all the sleep I was getting considering we had encountered quite a lot since we've been here.

I opened my eyes to find a bright, shiny helmet above me, softly saying something about how I needed to 'wake up.'

"I can't keep waking you up."

"Oh, it's not that bad." I sat up and stretched my arms, yawning. "I'm just glad you didn't toss me around this time."

He shook his head and pointed towards the Jawa's fortress. The trip was definitely much shorter when you fall asleep for over half of it.

The Jawas shouted and pointed their guns at us. None of them were particularly happy to see us again.

"Greetings!" The Ugnaught replied.

Mando was sitting on a stool, holding his rifle tight in his hands. I moved my hand towards my blaster, becoming more awake and more on edge the closer we got to them.

"They really don't like you guys for some reason."

I nodded towards Mando with a small smirk. "He did disintegrate a few of them...Then chased them."

"We chased them." Mando tried to defend himself, looking between the Ugnaught and me.

"You need to drop your guns."

Mando stiffened, his grip tightening on the gun. "I'm a Mandalorian. Weapons are part of my religion."

The Ugnaught shrugged. "Then you are not getting your parts back."

"Fine." We both groaned and set our weapons on the trailer.

Mando and the Ugnaught hopped onto the ground, ready to walk towards the group of Jawas. I sighed loudly enough to catch both of their attention, a wide grin spreading across my face as I sat on the edge of the trailer.

I held both of my hands out in front of me and looked over at Mando, raising an eyebrow. He shook his head, but walked over and helped me down regardless.

The Ugnaught looked at us suspiciously and with a sight grin before he turned his attention to the muttering Jawas.

"And the blaster."

Mando gave him a sharp look, one which the Ugnaught returned rather quickly. I leaned over and grabbed his blaster from its holster, tossing it on the trailer. That received a bewildered look from both of them, but I shrugged it off.

The Ugnaught waved us over and we all sat down in front of a large group of Jawas. He had been communicating with the group to come up with a trade, but it hadn't gone over very well.

"They will trade all the parts for the beskar."

I snorted and shook my head. "That's never gonna happen. They stole these parts."

"She's right. I'm not gonna trade anything. These are my parts." Mando spoke, clearly already riled up by the situation.

I chuckled."I'm glad you're finally agreeing with me."

The Jawa spoke again, something Mando did not seem to understand.

"They-they...belong...to me!" Mando gestured towards himself.

I couldn't help but giggle at his attempt to speak their language. The Jawas thought it was funny too as they all burst into laughter.

"You speak terrible Jawa. You sound like a Wookie." The Jawa joked.

"You understand this?" Mando activated the flame thrower within his vambrace, aiming it at the group of Jawas.

"NO!" Both the Ugnaught and I shouted.

I grabbed his wrist, looking up into his helmet. He deactivated the flames and looked at me with what came off as a rather soft expression. I tried to suppress my smile. I found the situation we were in to be quite comical.

"Easy there, Big Guy. No need to show off, okay?"

I slid my hand down to his, gently patting it before I pulled my hands away. I could see his fingers twitch and a small part of me wanted to reach back for his hand again, but I pushed that to the back of my mind.

"He is Mandalorian. He cannot give you his beskar armor." The Ugnaught replied to the Jawa.

The Jawa sat for a moment, thinking before pointing at the child. Mando and I turned to see a couple of Jawas gathering around it.

"Get away from it!" He snapped. He was clearly just as protective of the child as I was.

There was another moment before the Jawa pointed at me, muttering, "We will take the girl in exchange for your parts."

I growled. "I am not to be sold, you demon. Now get your finger out of my face before I snap it."

"There must be something else."

The Jawas huddled together as they spoke, glancing occasionally at the group. I wished that I could rip their beading red eyes right out of their skull, but that was just a little aggressive.

"How do you know-" Mando started, leaning over to whisper to me.

"My family taught me." I interrupted. "Jawas are a fairly common species on Tatooine and they said you need to know how to negotiate with them."

"Tatooine?"

Before I could respond, the Jawas broke from the huddle, approaching us once again.

"We will require The Egg. Bring us The Egg."

"The egg? What egg?" Mando looked over at me. We must have worn the same confused expression despite being unable to see his.

The Jawas began to shout "The Egg!" Over and over. Clearly celebrating something that Mando and I didn't understand.

#the mandalorian #the mandalorian x oc #mandalorian #mandalorian x oc #din djarin #din djarin x oc #dyn jarren #jedi #oc #star wars #pedro pascal #pedro pascal characters #babyyoda

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disneyphantomlover · 4 years

Text

Thoughts on BATIM’s Crack-Up Comics, Part 2

“Now, to tackle the Dime-Store Comics!

Good Golly, Charley is such an overzealous bad guy! It’s rather hilarious.

Also, the “door” for the ship has a cannon. I think that’s a decent “No Solicitors” warning.

OMG the damn soup....

Is it just me, or does Alice look like someone completely different? I know it can be chalked up to style and all, but seriously. Boris and Bendy look just like their comic strip selves, just a little more animated. But Alice? She’s got a different face, her eyes are much larger, her body is SIGNIFICANTLY slimmer, she’s lost her cleavage and her stockings, her heels are flats, and her hair is thinner. Not to mention she has a slightly different personality. Is... Is this meant to be taken as Susie was replaced by Allison between 1935 and 1936?

This... This is so absurd. The Bendy Scouts of America thing just makes me laugh though.

Okay! Okay, okay, okay... Boris saying “Good Golly Gosh” is too good for me.

Well. There he go!

Again! Alice’s horns getting huge and her halo shrinking, along with that serpent tongue?! Please tell me this gag continues whenever she gets pissed off!

...These guys look like Instant Martians from Looney Toons. I’m not the only one thinking this, right?

NOT THE BEES!

YES, THE GAG CONTINUES.

Boris, your alliteration is impeccable. Somehow I wasn’t expecting that out of you.

Bendy. My dude. Little Devil Darling. HOW the HELL do you continue to dig your own grave here? Alice is so done with your shit.

I’m just imagining Boris saying all this in the most deadpan voice ever, and complete with the image of the moon? I died laughing.

I know it’s a plot device, but having the main character apologize for his actions, leading to finding a way out of the predicament he’s in? I love that shit.

Also, that’s a lotta cheese.

HOW ARE THERE WANTED POSTERS OF THEM?!

Sheesh Alice, leaving Boris to the vultures?

....These last two pages are absolute madness. Now there’s lasers? Boris can understand the vultures? They can catch a shooting star home? They landed on Charley?! What IS this?? Did they suddenly run out of paper and had to chop up the writing or something?

...What is this postman? WHAT IS THIS?? It’s a fucking clone with wings and a mustache, that’s what!

Huh. So that’s interesting. Yes, they got Pluto’s name and title right, but looking at the pitchfork and the later picture of him? He looks more like a Christian form of Satan rather than the staff-wielding, helm-wearing Pluto. I’m guessing it’s because they wanted to throw in a little flair and not directly reference Satan.

And can we appreciate that the letter had a little heart on it? And worry that it was signed “Hate, Papa Pluto”?

Somehow, I feel kinda sad at this. Bendy got all this power thanks to someone he knows, and he tries to better himself and others around him. And you just know it’s gonna get fucked up.

Boris, your personality is getting a bit food-based.

Alice blushing is the cutest image ever.

I. FUCKING. CALLED IT.

....Again. Feel kinda sad that Bendy is getting screwed over by something his dad gave him.

Okay, can Alice just... float? For no reason whatsoever? I’m okay with this, I just need to know.

AND she can charm a tree into doing what she wants?

Of course it takes an angel to shatter a devilish pitchfork.

BENDY. At least retain your lessons for 5 GD MINUTES.

Wait, again? What have you two idiots done to get a bounty on you a first time?!

Constable Alice is amazing and I love her. Even when she’s being a lil shit.

YES, the gag’s back!

I thought “parka squirrel” was a joke. Nope. Actual name for an Artic ground squirrel. Especially in Alaska.

The dialogue in this one is great. As is the slapstick. It has an almost Wile E. Coyote feel to it.

Also, Bendy is the one having all the ideas that just fall flat. Sounds a lot like some asshole named Joey Drew we all know.

That is a legit river of gold. I don’t know if it’s making fun of the Klondike Gold Rush, or the “liquid gold” known as oil in Alaska, but I love it.

Much as I love the hijinks of the two going down the mountain, what the HELL kinda skeleton IS THAT?!

I don’t even care this comic is ripping off old superhero comics. It’s too damn funny and it’s the right amount of absurd.

I just noticed all the irradiated bacon soup in the china cabinet. If that’s a reference to Fiesta Ware, I’m going to scream.

“Fiesta commenced commercial sales of colored dinnerware in 1936. Most colored ceramics made prior to World War II, including Fiesta Ware, contained uranium oxide.” SON OF A BITCH!

Yep. Had to pay homage to Superman. But it’s Boris, so I’ll let it go. I like the implication that Boris is a strong boi.

....I’m sure many have said this but... That CameraMan is too damn similar to the Projectionist.

UMMMMMMMMMM. HI BRUTE. You are um... Something.

Not sure what I think of Miss Twisted. Adore her design! But... Man, what’s with this random shoe-ing in of the antagonists of the game?

...Okay, as menacing as they try to be, I love that the Camera Man and Brute think the worst thing to do is knock apples out of trees and steal candy from babies.

BORIS! Ever hear of SPACING THEM OUT?!

This whole fight is silly, but it works! It’s just stupidly cute and simple. Wish it was that easy to beat the Projectionist in the games. Or take Brute Boris down.

....They 100% referenced Spiderman there. Like, it’s clear as day. What the hey?

I kinda like the idea of Alice being a pilot. Yah know, since she was in the skies so often anyways.

I almost want to make fun of the nun OF COURSE showing up asking Alice for help. But... I mean... Who better to ask help from other than an angel who knows how to fly well?

“Niuport 17″... Why is that familiar?

“The Nieuport 17 C.1 ... was a French sesquiplane fighter designed and manufactured by the Nieuport company during World War I.” .....Huh. We’re learning things today! It even looks like Alice’s plane!

Kinda amazed the Morse code is correct.

This is so zany and silly. Also, I don’t think pills work that quick.

YES. USE THE POWER OF THE CHILDREN.

I feel like I should call bullshit on that. But at the same time I like the idea of all the nuns in that abbey running an undergrounds mechanic shop for the Allies.

Hang on. Either this is a minor mistake or someone messed up the timing again. But War Bonds in comics didn’t start until December 1941. And this is supposed to be between 1936 and 1940. I mean, they were originally called Defense Bonds, but specifically “War Bonds” were after Pearl Harbor.

#sol's thoughts #bendy and the ink machine #batim #crack up comics collection #crack up comics #I'm still liking all of these #now to share thoughts on the promotional comics

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theshitthatidoishere · 4 years

Text

Ask time !!

Fave NejiTen moment?

NejiTen has canon moments? Xd

It was a meme lol...

I’m sorry......

HHHSHHHHHH HIZASHI GUN IS THE FUNNIEST FUCKING PICTURE ON THIS HELLSITE HSHSHHSHSH

wait. what about pirate Tenten. but with a GUN

@meloodles I’m summoning you

Lee gives all of Team Guy friendship bracelets . Also imagine NejiTen roller skate date I can’t 😭

1. Omg yes lee’s the cutest person alive

2. I just imagine 1010 being a pro while neji is practically dying lmao

the end of the world by billie eilish.

Yesssss, i love billies sm, i even have tickets for her concert here in chile but covid ruined it 😔👊👊

Seen Jurassic park? Imagine that T. rex eating Hiashi.

Shit-sama! You're super cool and my favorite blog! I'm on my laptop so I can't send you hearts but just know that once I get on mobile, imma be sending you an ask that's just entirely blue hearts so watch out.

Yes please 🥺💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙 thank u sm

Tenten says self care is important!

It’s a me mario

Are you chicken-phobia?

Nup

Do you keep track of your followers?

Yes i do! I did request for the 400 followers and i wanted to do something for the 1000....and now we are +1600.......

OMG LEES HEADBAND SAYS GAARA IM SCREAMING

I think it would be a cute detail ☺️☺️

@yahboobeh said : Ah! Glad to see the art flowing again! 💜

And I’m glad too!! Just want the classes to end so i can continue 389 and more unfinished projects, i’ll try to do my best 💙💙

Neji but he’s 1.85 cm I’m screaming

Baby hinata appreciation

She’s so tiny i can’t 😭😭

The “fuuuuuck” in the middle is relatable af... I’m working on something of my own and I am suffering

Oooh good luck with it 💙💙

I’m going to teach you something... get ready

I’m scared now ngl

Minato is highkey insane

I love him but putting a giant demonic fox in your newborn kid is just..... Hiruzen was there why you didn’t sealed the kyuubi in him

Hello hHi Bye

Nani??

Today is poopkashi’s birthday

This is so late bit happy bd kkshi 💙

I am going to. Put little leafs in your food for added flavour.

🌱🌱🌱

Eeeeee calcetin con rombosman!!!!!!!

TANANANANA!

Have a 🧶

Ty 🧶🧶🧶🧶

Genin nejiten is best nejiten

I prefer shippuden NT but all NT is good

Ok but... Neji nb, hinata trans mtf

YES! All trans hcs are welcome here!

I thought haha cool until I realized how short 1min and 10 sec are and. 😳👌🏾

I tortured myself during several years 👌👌👌👌

Oh btw u didn’t put 389 11 in the index ❤️

Oooh ty! I’ll put it now

Are you still in a pandemic?

Yes bc chile sucks

How many siblings do you have ?

2 and i’m the middle one

Me scrolling through every possible varian of the neji hyuga tag

That’s the biggest mood jahsjajsjjaj, i do the same

@lizzyfb : are you ever going to continue the pirate AU? I love it

I don’t think that I’m going to do a comic abt the pirate AU but definitely i’ll do randomly drawing or strips ☺️☺️ (also thank you sm 💙💙💙)

#ask

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