#cutting room floor fic fialogue

[mrscakeishere]

Inspirational Furniture Assembly Dialogue

On the 22nd, Polycakes (me and @polychromicron-persei-8) will throw a new fanfic grenade into the GOAD Smut War. Until then, we wanted to share some dialogue that inspired The Long Road to Meatballs (Rated Explicit, mind the tags).

Now, I know what you're thinking, and you're right: furniture assembly isn't typically something that inspires smut, but here we are, nonetheless.

While we ended up not using this bit of text, we thought it was funny enough to share.

Inspirational Dialogue:

Aziraphale stared at the instructions. “It says, ‘attach legs to top of bar—part C—aligning brackets. Use screw F to attach—'”

“Wait, what? Read that again.”

“Attach legs to top of bar—part C—aligning brackets—”

“Let me see that.”

“Crowley, I'm reading to you exactly what it says.”

“Just…give.”

Crowley snatched the assembly instructions from Aziraphale’s hand and stared at the paper.

“Attach legs to top part of bar—part C—aligning brackets.”

Crowley surveyed the array of bars, screws, nuts, and bolts scattered around the room. It looked like a construction site that had failed every safety inspection.

“Which is part C?” Crowley asked.

“I guess it's the one with brackets.”

“All of them have brackets!”

Aziraphale sighed. “I don't know what to tell you.”

Crowley looked at the instructions again.

“Attach legs to top part of bar—part C—”

“Trust me,” Aziraphale interjected. “Reading it again is not going to make it any easier.”