#cuz like. shit man. that kinda feels like the convo they n me could have???? if that were to happen. but maybe not since mama

[animehideout]

How about jjk men reaction if y/n has a tongue piercing? ;D

JJK Men Reaction To Y/N With A Tongue Piercing

A/n: Thank you @luna-lunique for this wonderful request, I hope you enjoy it ❤️.

Characters: Geto Suguru - Gojo Satoru - Choso Kamo - Ryomen Sukuna.

Warning: SMUT MDNI for Sukuna's part ( ofc it has to be spicy with this man )

Geto Suguru: Interested And Flirty

Geto Suguru is your crush, so you got your tongue pierced to match his vibe, since he's got both his ears pierced.

Your piercing wasn't healed yet, so you'd find a difficulty to move your tongue which resulted in you stuttering.

He'd ask if you were okay.

"Oh yeah, I'm fine Suguru, it's just I got my tongue pierced and it kinda hurts a bit"

His eyes would lit up with genuine surprise and interest.

A smile played on his lips, curiousity evident in his gaze.

"A tongue piercing? You've been hiding your rebellious side from me Y/N?"

You'd blush a lot from the way hos eyes were glued to your mouth whenever you spoke, trying yo catch a glimpse of your piercing.

"Didn't know you were into piercings tho! But it's a nice touch, added a bit of mystery in you".

Since he's experienced with piercings, he'd give you some advice on how to care of it in order to heal it fast.

Your tongue piercing was his breaking point, he'd give you multiple hints that he has a crush on you.

"You know people with tongue piercings are my type"

"Maybe I should join the club Y/n. A matching tongue piercing could be quite special don't you think?"

A few days later, Geto would surprise you with a tongue piercing as well, cuz he desperately wanted to match with you.

Gojo Satoru: Teasing

It was when both of you were teasing each other as always.

You'd stick your tongue out to mock him, and that's when he caught a glimpse of the jewelry that decorated your tongue.

A subtle surprised flickered across his face, eyes widened in intruige.

"Holy shit! Stick your tongue out again–Is that a piercing?"

But of course you had to tease him and hide it from him.

So you covered your mouth a ran away from him.

You think he'd give up? Hell no! he'll run after you, catch you and force you to show him your tongue.

Would pin you down, and tried to open your mouth.

"Show meeeeeee" he'd whine.

You'd bite his finger.

You got tired and gave up, so you poked your tongue revealing a cute jewelry.

"Oh someone got an extra sparkle in their mouth, is this your way of ensuring our convos are electrifying?" he'd joke.

Would observe it in admiration, fascinated by your bold choice.

Would definitely try to touch it.

"You're full of surprises Y/N! I love that"

Would appreciate your uniqueness, spontaneity and free spirit to try new things.

Teases you a lot about it but deep down he loves it so much and thinks it's hot.

"Imagine if I put a magnet is your mouth a pull"

"Ugh, I told you this for the 1673829th time Satoru, it's not magnetized".

Spoils you with different jewelries.

"Thought this one might match the sparkle in your eyes"

He'd say with a wide smile, gifting you the new expensive accessory.

"Wonder how it feels to kiss someone with a tongue piercing, wanna help me figure out Y/N?"

Choso Kamo: Concerned AF.

"Like my new piercing Choso?"

His eyes would widen in surprise and concern.

He couldn't help but voice his worries.

Approaches you with a worried glisten in his eyes, carefully opens your mouth to get a closer look at your piercing.

If it was possible he'd shove his head inside for a better look.

"Wait when did you get this Y/N?"

Bombards you with questions.

"Is it painful? Does it hurt when you talk? Omg alright I'll shut up you don't have to answer if it pains you when you speak"

Would he stop asking questions? No.

He has to make sure you're okay.

He's a caring person and his questions reflected his genuine concern for you well-being and safety.

"Does it bleed? How long does it take to heal?".

"Are you supposed to eat certain things or avoid stuff?"

You'd have to comfort him, and tell him that it doesn't hurt as it looks and that you have a high pain tolerance so you can handle it.

If you choose to joke around with him and tell him that it caused you to faint or it started to bleed, man would panic, might faint as well.

Treats you with tenderness and care.

Blows on your food if it's hot, so it won't burn your tongue and cause any infections.

Googles: How to heal a tongue piercing in 1 day.

"It looks great on you my love, but I hate seeing you in pain".

Ryomen Sukuna: Turned On.

It was when both of you were making out.

The accessory on your tongue poked his lips and tongue.

Would pull back in surprise.

"Woah woah! what was that show me!"

You'd stick your tongue out, a smirk played on his lips, a flicker of desire ignited his eyes, mirroring his filthy thoughts.

It was your plan all along, you led him on for a makeout session so he could feel your new piercing.

Instantly turned on, his pants tightening.

"Well, well, look what we have here! Someone is upping their game, spicing things up"

He'd laugh in satisfaction, excited just by the thought of what your pierced mouth could do.

"You're playing dangerous games Y/N"

Would waste a second? No! He'd want your tongue around his D.

"Come on, on your knees now Y/N! I want to know how it feels"

It made him 10x attracted to you, having your tongue pierced revealed your badass and rebellious side that he couldn't help but fall deeper for.

As you did your work down there, he'd focus in the way your tongue piercing lingered around his D.

You'd drive him crazy, and turn him into a hot mess. Only his groans are heard.

[tastyykpop]

nct dating headcannons!

I only did 127 because there's so many but ill do the others if anyone requests it :)

ɴᴄᴛ ʙғ ʜᴇᴀᴅᴄᴀɴᴏɴ

Taeil

Mr. Moon Taeil is the definition of a cuddly boyfriend

Hes always holding your hand or kissing your cheek

Definitely gets shy when the members are around but in public youre all his

Hes super sincere about anything too but also knows how to joke around

I mean have you seen him with nct

Hes funny❗❗

Like he's gonna make you laugh no matter what

And those deep convos yall would have at night while cuddling>>>

"What if we were put on earth by aliens as an experiment to see if we would live and everytime we see ufos its just our cousins checking up on us"

Eyes wide open, "bro"

Taeils either the big or small spoon too

There's no in between

Also the biggest baby when yall are chilling

"I call small spoon!"

"But you were the small spoon last night"

"K and what about it"

10/10 would complain if you didn't want to sit with him and watch a movie or show

Would probably guilt trip you by saying you never watch something with him

Hes a sweet manipulator...

But he could easily replace you with one of the members

Like sicheng

Taeil will always ask if you've eaten

If you haven't eaten he gets big sad

Don't make him sad

Plus hes always checking on your health

And he'll know if your lying if you say you're doing fine when you're not

Also don't lie in general cuz he doesn't like that

That would make him trust you a bit less and he definitely wants trust in the relationship

Trust is a huge key or hes out

Johnny

This man 🥲

Boyfriend Material™

So gentle and loving

Loves making you feel special and will hype the shit out of you when you don't feel confident doing something

Will always make sure you're doing okay

Johnny puts in so much effort to make this relationship work and expects you to put the same amount of effort into it too

Like taeil, hes really big on trust

Add honesty to that list

Plus he expects you to be mature when needed

If you're the type of person who depends on someone else for everything and I'm mean everything he will actually leave

Hes not your babysitter❤

But he will take care of you to some extent

Like basic things for instance

He'll make you food if you're sick, get you water if your dehydrated, will get your feminine products when you need it

Very sweet😌

Okay and he spoils you but wbk

"Why are you getting me so much things?"

"Because I love you."

"But why did you get me a kitten costume???"

He has some kinks to work out 😐

Johnny will go to shop after shop even if you say you don't want something (you do but you just don't want him to pay) he'll get it without batting an eye

"Youve been staring at these shoes for 5 minutes imma buy them for you"

"Huh? No! I-"

"Too late"

will take you out to dinner all the time just to be romantic

Hes actually really good at romantic stuff

I say Johnny you say whipped

Johnny👀

Whipped😫

His free time is always you time

So don't bother saying your busy cuz now hes busy with you

"Johnny i got a test coming up can you come later? I need to study

"Thats cute im coming over to help"

Taeyong

Judging taeyong on his looks, some say he would be cold to his girlfriend

Like a tsundere

But the man is quite the opposite

Though he can be stern if need be

He has 22 children what do you expect

Will literally treat you like his members and always taking care of you

But there will be times when you have to take care of him because hes so tired from work

He turns into a baby when he's tired or lazy too

So wrap him in a burrito blanket and hes all set for the day

Makes weird noises but thats normal

You're just watching tv and hes just making some old video game sounds with his mouth

No one questions it

If he didnt make sounds you'd probably question it

Talks in pout if he doesn't get his way with you

"Why don't you wanna play games with me~"

"Bruh I'm tired"

Or just gives you those big puppy eyes without even trying

Complete other person when you're not listening

He just kinda stares at you all intimidating like until you listen

Taeyong won't do anything too bad if you kept ignoring him, but you don't know that

Omg bro he'd literally bring you on vlive with him to chat

Even if the company is like '???Shes not an idol???'

But its taeyong so SM doesn't care🧍‍♂️

"We have special guest again! Its y/n-ah!!"

You'd be just chilling on his bed giving him a wtf look until you realize there's a camera and smile

"Shes cute. Isn't she cute guys?"

Don't try to escape the vlive, he'll just get up and sit you on his lap

Makes everyone watching jelly🥲

Bro he would make fun of you the same way he makes fun of doyoung

you'd be sitting with doyoung or sumn and taeyong just comes up to the both of you and decides

'Its time to end these two'

You and doyoung are just like 'tf did we do'

Somehow some other members are making fun of yall

Of course they aren't mean

Its all fun and games and gives you a good laugh after

Doyoung

Hes literally a mom

But its ok

You love it

Sometimes

He also nags a lot

And if you don't listen he gets mad

You wouldn't tell him this but you find it funny

And cute🤐

"Youre almost as bad as dream" 

"what are u talking about im an angel"

"Kay then put the knife down we kinda need haechan to live"

Hes beaten you with a pillow once

In front of taeyong

Taeyong was watching like 👁👄👁

I dont think he cares much for pda tbh

But he doesn't hate it

He'll hug you a lot

And doyoung will probably kiss you here and there

But thats depending on his mood

If he's tired he'd probably just hold you in his arms

Either way he still makes you smile even with the smallest of touches

When you guys go out in public doyoung always holds your hand

I mean always

Remember when I said he doesn't seem like the type to be into pda

I lied

Doyoung wants everyone to know youre his

He won't kiss you but he will pull you into random hugs and hold your hand like he's gonna lose you any second

Doyoung also can't go anywhere without dressing his best

Like even if he's just practicing he's gotta look cute

And he always does because he's fucking kim doyoung

Doyoung also has a habit to make up names for you

Like one day he'll call you babe/baby

The next day could be angel or princess

Then there's you who just calls him bunny because he hates (loves) it

Expect some random gifts from him

Cuz like Johnny, he likes to spoil you

he just loves the smile thats plastered on your face

Pinches your cheeks evey time you smile too

When you guys are just chilling in the dorms you are always doing something to make doyoung get "angry"

"Angry" doyoung is a fun doyoung

Says you and taeyong 🤭

Literally will chase you around the dorm until he gets you and "scolds you"

Hell also scold taeyong

Sometimes you prank him with the other members

*cough*haechan*cough*

But doyoung knows youre just being playful

So he kinda laughs at you

Yuta

Hes a devil

Wbk

He can go from calling you the cutest lil thang to saying the most inappropriate stuff

"U have such a pretty mouth" 

"no stop" 

"how about u use it on my-"

"OUT DEMON"

Besides that he's actually very nice

Although he doesn't really show his affection like how most couples would

At first hes kinda like a "cold boyfriend" but not?

Gives off a tsundere kinda vibe

He lives for pda

Especially if you initiate it

His favorite is kissing your neck

Not in a sexual way or trying to give you hickeys tho

He just comes over and kisses it

Probably has a neck kink 😳

Same 😌

When you guys are out in public his arm is always around your waist or shoulders

He gets easily jealous when you give anyone any attention

Especially if you have a pet

He will be pouty for God knows how long until you notice

"I'll make it up to you"

"ok then prove it *pats his lap*"

"...I can and will replace you with this animal"

Will not let a dude flirt with you

If he sees a dude flirt with you he just gives them ㄒ卄乇 ㄥㄖㄖҜ

Lowkey hot

But sometimes gives you that look if u aren't listening to him

Its an advantage

Freaks you out tho

When your sitting on the couch minding your own damn business yuta always pulls you onto his lap or sits you between his legs

He really likes to be close to you

So when you guys are sitting he keeps his head on your shoulder and his arms wrapped around you gently rocking you both

Omg im making myself feel single

If you are sad yuta will always be the first person you lean on

Even if its not serious

"Who do I need to fuck up?"

"Im literally just on my period..."

The members sometimes tease him because they'd never seen him so in love

He looks at you like ur his everything

Because you are

He'll tell you that too

If you say something bad about urself he gives you a whole ass lecture about how u should love yourself the way he loves you

He'd be talking for 25 minutes but you stopped listening 30 minutes ago

Literally scolds you for not listening

Loves how well you get along with the members

But also hates how well you get along with specific members because of how similar you are with them

What I'm trying to say is that you are a bit too similar to mark🚶‍♂️

Jaehyun

Frat boy boyfriend

Lowkey wants to fuck everyday

Idk he gives off that vibe

But jaehyuns just chill half the time

Hes like an American boyfriend like bitch you're Korean 👁👄👁

Hes super cuddly and warm

Thats weird wait

Like when you're cold just snuggle into him because body heat <3

Always loosely has his arms around your waist when just laying down

Whole different story if you're sitting on his lap and just standing around

Back hugs😫😫

Dead ass the first thing he does if he sees you is give you a back hug

It works for a lot of things

Surprise? Back hug

You're cooking? Back hug

Horny? Back hug

Solves his life problems basically

Hes a freak omg

Very flirtatious too

Hes just that bitch

Either he makes you blush or roll your eyes

"Y/n you're ass is fat"

Def an ass guy😑

Hes the type of guy to put his hands in your jeans back pocket

Wait no im feeling jaehyun too much rn

BUT MY POINT STILL STANDS

Or when yall hug his hand doesn't rest on your back but your ass

If you're wearing some shorts or something that makes your but pop

Hes gonna smack it and pretend like nothing happened

Yo someone pls save me im in my jae feels

Nah I've been talking about his ass kink for too long

Ummmm

Okay for real though jaes actually really nice and kind of careless when it comes to you

Fuck everyone else, if you've fallen and scraped your knee hes gonna be that soccer mom and rip a band aid out of nowhere

But if one of his members scraped their knee he'd just look the other way and smile like nothing happened

Earlier I said he was chill but hes also loud too

You walk into the dorms and the first thing you hear is "Y/N!!" Wyd?

You swear he doesn't realize how loud he is half the time because of that deep voice

This bitch always makes sure youre healthy and tries to take you to the gym with him

It dont work cuz this bitch just stares at your ass

Nah I need to do the next member

Jungwoo

hes literally the cutest especially around you

When he greets you its basically a whole ass bear hug

Whole lots a kissing

Literally doesn't care where you guys are

He will kiss you anywhere

Loves to kiss your forehead because he doesn't have to bend down as much🤭

doesnt care if the members are there

Nobody ever questions it either

"youre my baby right?"

"jungwoo-"

"riGhT?"

"Yes...."

He does aegyo if he doesn't get his way

It works every time don't lie

Will probably sit on your lap for some reason

Hes not light

But if you can do it so can he

you guys never get into fights

Even if you do its never anything serious

"you fucking pushed me so u could win"

"false I accidentally bumped my arm into urs"

"whats accidental is the murder im going to commit"

"what?"

"What?"

Smh young love

Going shopping with jungwoo is like shopping with a kid

Will beg for any food he lays his eyes on

"Omg can we get cookies?🥺"

"only if your paying"

“*gently places cookie dough back* lmao cookies? Never heard of her"

No matter how tired the boy is he will always find time for you

Hell take you too your favorite restaurants and even if you insist on paying he wont let you

If you don't marry him I will

When you guys are walking in public he will always be holding your hand

Says its because he doesn't want you to get lost

But you know damn well its actually him who doesn't want to get lost😳

Jk you just know he wants to be close to you

If you make any suggestive joke he always knows how to counterpart it

Leaving you speechless like the members

When you guys are going to bed he has his arms wrapped around your waist

first thing jungwoo does before sleeping is giving you a kiss

Doesn't care if your asleep or awake

Then a quiet 𝐼 𝑙𝑜𝑣𝑒 𝑦𝑜𝑢

Mark

i dont even know how to explain this relationship bruh

like its mark lee its gonna be a weird time

ok so marks actually hella nice

kinda bro or dude zones you but you do it back

theres a bunch of yo’s too

as someone who says yo a lot im happy i can relate to him

“yo youre doing that wrong though”

“dude im literally reading the directions, it said 3 cups of water”

“bro it says 3/4 oh my god”

yall cant cook 

taeyong wont even allow even you to help him cook

anyway marks special

but seriously marks actually a very gentle person with you

like legit is super nice to you even if you sometimes piss him off

marks probablys only been mad at you once then was like ‘its okay’

go to his practices cuz he loves that shit

he really likes when you are social with the members too

cuz then you guys are all friends and he can just bring you to places with them :D

this kid will literally not to pda in front of any member so you have to basically force him to just hug you

johnnys always making fun of you two and mark panics everytime while youre just like ‘yeah what about it’

compliment mark and hes blushing and squealing like an anime girl

inch resting concept 

“mark you look cute today”

“o-oh um..yeah thanks”

and this man can take compliments but with you its a whole new story

aight lemme get serious

marks mad sensitive 

so dont actually purposely make him mad, jealous, or upset

it would crush him

and he doesnt want someone like that in a relationship

cuz if he doesnt purposely do it to you, dont do it to him

take notes 

Haechan

hes a brat bye

would actually fight you just to get his way

makes fun of you on a regular

thinks hes cute 

hes not wrong

but actually he knows how to act mature when he needs to

like if youre genuinly getting upset with him, he will straighten up and quicky apologize, even give you a phat kiss and hug

might take you to get ice cream after if he really upset you

he can be nice

nah jk hes very nice and is a really energetic boyfriend

haechan always wants to do something with you liek go to the amusement park, go out to eat, or go shopping

sometimes makes everything seem like a hassle to leave and go somewhere with you cuz hes either lazy or playing video games

“cant you just go by yourself?”

“but what if i get lost”

“the ice cream place is literally five miles away”

“actually its seven so im gonna get lost”

hed groan the whole time just to be annoying but you dont care cuz you got your ice cream

if you go to any concert or practice, haechan always has to make things more sexy than they should be

like ‘fool’ became hella sexual and for what

its probably one of his favorites to make you blush

he loves your reactions

keeps him alive

hyucks always got something to say even at the most awful times

youre literally choking on water and he goes “ill give you something to choke on later”

and you have to cancel your dying session to smack his head

my guy has no filter

and he wont even hide that around the members

theres always that smirk on his cute ass face if he succeeds too

i have the sudden urge to fight him

[boognish-worshipper]

Remember the Rain

praying this is the final part of “Sunrise, Sunset” by the time i’m done omg ,, lamar finally talks it out with frank. i was tryna keep the titles consistent with a sky theme? wasn’t sure what to name this one at first, but i settled on naming it after a i song that i felt was sorta fitting lol ,, also lamar’s dramatic when drunk, that’s jus how it’s gonna be

oh and i included one last convo w/ that psychic lady bc each character got three opportunities to speak to her lol

//

The night Franklin and him fought was the third night in a row Lamar couldn’t sleep right. Then it became four. Then five. Six. He had hoped after the first couple days of Franklin being mad, that it’d all blow over and things would go back to normal. That he wouldn’t ever have to say anything about what he felt deep down. Even though he told himself he had to, he wouldn’t. He waited it out, and still hoped it would all just fucking blow over. That wasn’t what happened of course.

An overcast sky was spread over LS, light rain tapping against Lamar’s window. As cheesy as it was, it reflected how he felt. Another day had passed. Franklin wasn’t picking up, not even reading his texts, nothing. He called a couple times at first when the fourth day of the silent treatment occurred, then tried a few more times to contact him in the following days. It had grown into a long and sad string of texts.

franklin.

dog

plz

pick up

answer me

plz?

c’mon frank i told you i have nothin goin on with yo auntie

i wanna talk things out with you.

u ain’t let me finish explaining

text me when u read this. plz bro

He sighed. This was hopeless. He set his phone aside, still laying awake. A buzz came right after. Fucking finally, something.

fuck you

we got nothin to discuss

He didn’t know how to feel. This was fucking him up and he couldn’t think straight. He tried calling him once more, the ringing as he waited for a pick up mocking him. Voicemail yet again. How many messages had he tried leaving at this point?

for fucks sake frank pick up

u ain’t doin this to me rn

jus let me explain myself

He stared at the ceiling yet again, like it would have all the answers sprawled out for him. As he did, he focused on how the rain had picked up, coming down harder. Then he felt his phone buzz.

no

now stop blowing my phone up

i’m tryna sleep

Lamar was never one to be sensitive, but he felt so crushed right now that all he could do was cry silently to himself. He didn’t even have Chop around anymore to comfort him like he normally would whenever Lamar was going through something. Would he even see him again? He lived over at Frank’s now. Fuck. Did this mean they’d have to share custody now? If he wasn’t so upset, he most likely would’ve laughed at the idea of it. He was letting bad thoughts consume him, turning to a last minute resort of drinking to try stopping it. This kind of thing rarely happened to him, these kind of feelings weren’t common. He knew no other method of trying to stuff bad feelings down, working through a 6 pack of beer on his own, followed by a bottle of some type of random liquor. Anything to stifle the pain in his chest, although it didn’t accomplish much other than making him feel even more queasy. He left one last voicemail, choking back a sob. Or what he had thought would be the last one. He lost count.

“Franklin. Please jus’ talk to me already man. You- you believin’ what you wanna believe right now, you ain’t even givin’ me a chance. You my best fuckin’ friend, don’t that mean shit to you anymore? We.. homies n shit.” He sniffled, cringing to himself when he said the words “best friend”. Franklin was so much more than that to him.

“Ion… Ion think I can live without you in my life. You can’t hate me man that shit.. that’s fucked. This is fucked. I’m fucked.”

A strong feeling of humiliation hung around him for many reasons, one being that he was fully crying now, over the phone. He couldn’t get any lower.

“You jus’ mad right now. But you.. you won’t be, eventually. Right? Please get back to me soon. Please. I’d rather fuckin’.. die or sum’ than have you hatin’ me n shit. At this point I might as well.”

After hanging up, he decided to visit that site one last time. His tears blurred his vision, making it harder to type. The shit in his system didn’t help either.

lady

i fuckef up

thsi is yo faukt

What now? Why are you back?

frankljn hates me

He does? That’s not right.

damn straighy it fuckign isnt

No, I mean that’s not correct.

There’s no way that he could, even if it seems like it right now.

jus fuckin tell me whst to do

That’s out of my hands.

is not u fuckin wirch

*withc

*witch

Look, I really don’t know how else to help you. I don’t have any other visions to offer. You’re on your own.

They do say though, that dreams are visions themselves.

dont fukcin speak in riddles rn

Precognition, Lamar. Just have faith

prewhatnow

n yeah. faith. bc that helps so fuckn much

All I can say to you is good luck - it’s all coming together. Just wait.

th fuck does that mean?

It means that you’re stressing too much - you better sleep it off. Farewell Lamar. You’re gonna have a killer hangover you know…

SERVICE UNAVAILABLE. PLEASE TRY AGAIN LATER.

The notification did nothing but make him more upset. He calmed down eventually, the crying and alcohol tiring him out. He blacked out soon after, not remembering when he fell asleep.

For the first time in a while, he dreamt about the two of them. The start of the dream showed a radiant sight before them, the sky lit up in a million shades. Chop was laying beside Franklin, head on his thigh. All three of them sat on a grassy knoll, a soft breeze blowing through each blade. Franklin turned, Lamar not taking his eyes off him since the dream started. He only noticed the sky’s wide color palette because the intensity struck Franklin’s face just right. He looked right into Lamar’s eyes, speaking softly.

“Why didn’t you tell me sooner?”

“What?”

“You had so many opportunities. So many times, I thought that you would. I got my hopes up, you know. I waited. When Tanisha left.. I only had you.”

“Tanisha..”

“I still love her. I.. I think apart of me always will, but I love you just the same. Even if you drive me up a Goddamn wall sometimes. You both mean the world to me.”

Franklin looked back at the view ahead. A heavenly indigo replaced the vivid hues from before.

“But she’s gone now. Shit ain’t the same. All I know is you stayed when she didn’t. Even when she got pulled outta the hood and made some kinda new life for herself, you never left my side. Never changed yo loyalties.”

He turned back to face Lamar again. His eyes were glassy, the glow of the midnight sky reflecting in them.

“So why didn’t you say somethin’ sooner?”

“Franklin.. I ain’t deduce that shit ‘til now.“

“You really didn’t know?”

Even in the dream he could feel that previous frustration occur in his mind. Was he hiding in a glass closet or something? He could only let out a wry laugh.

“Yeah man. I was a fuckin’ fool, jus’ like you always said.”

“Damn straight.” He chuckled, and Lamar came to the conclusion that he could listen to that laugh forever. Franklin’s face then fell solemn.

“Y’know I really thought that.. I really thought that you jus’ got with someone else. Not even jus’ my Aunt. I saw how you wanted to get away from me, and I thought…” He stopped himself, petting Chop’s head.

“I.. wanted to be happy if you was, but the thought of that at all bothered me.”

“Why?”

“Cuz you were all I had, dog. Mike n Trevor, they have their own lives, their own history n shit. I can’t always rely on them. Denise don’t give a fuck what happen to me. You my lifeline dog, I’ve known you for years. I didn’t want you to forget me over a chick or sum’. That day you acted all different n shit, it worried me.”

“Hey man, y’know I ain’t ever gon pull that shit on you. I’m with you for life.”

“Then don’t pull other kinda stupid shit on me.”

“Whatchu mean?”

“You can’t ever die on me bro. That ain’t how this shit works.”

“Ay man, I don’t plan on dying jus’ yet. Not unless yo ass by my side. Not ‘til I tell you I…” He couldn’t finish the sentence.

Franklin got closer to his face, cupping his cheek. His eyes shone as the stars around them fell from the sky, akin to raindrops, hitting them. Everything about him was flooding Lamar’s senses, and it felt surreal, between his aroma and all the other things he loved about Franklin. Golden flecks covered them both, and the stars continued to crash down. The sky was growing darker than before.

“Just say the words Lamar. Say them and this shit’ll be over.”

“How?”

“Well first you need to wake yo ass up.”

“Huh?”

“I said wake up, fool!”

Lamar’s blissful dream had been interrupted by an unknown figure shaking him, literal raindrops hitting his face. He was still bleary eyed, only seeing a vague silhouette in front of him. A wet slap to the face rattled his brain around, the hangover settling in. Shit, was he still drunk? What time was it?

“Lamar! Get up!”

“Oh.. Th’fuck? Who- who that is?” He grunted out.

“It’s me you fuckin’ clown!”

“Frank?”

“Who the fuck else?”

“Why are you-”

He was abruptly yanked out of bed, thudding to the floor with a small “oof”.

“Get up you punk bitch!”

“Franklin what the fuck-”

He was grabbed again, tossed back onto his bed. Franklin straddled him, shaking Lamar by the collar.

“What the fuck is wrong with you?!” He said, Lamar getting another slap to the face.

“What in the fresh fuck is you talkin’-” Another slap.

“15 fuckin’ missed phone calls! 15! Are you fuckin’ nuts?!”

Lamar’s eyes practically popped out of his head. 15? What the fuck did he say to him?

“I did what-”

Franklin shook him even harder by his shirt, stretching the material out. He was straining his voice now.

“You had me worried like fuckin’ crazy! I thought you was in some sorta fuckin’ trouble again! You blew my phone up when I told yo ass not to, and then didn’t fuckin’ pick up after I heard the first couple special messages you left me!”

Oh God. This was it. He told Franklin everything, didn’t he? The color drained from his face.

“Oh fuck me..” He mumbled, putting a hand over his eyes.

“What?!” Franklin yelled, shaking him again. Lamar’s head was pounding.

“Franklin.. what.. what I say on there? I barely remember a thing, let alone callin’ yo ass.”

“You seriously don’t fuckin’ remember?!”

“Yeah. Seriously, man.”

Franklin slid off of him, putting a palm to his face. He breathed through his nose hard, trying to calm down. Lamar realized he was drenched from the small downpour outside. Pellets of rain thumped against the window as a reminder that the storm never went away.

“You.. fuck, man. You started sayin’ all this shit about how bad a fuckin’ friend you was. That you, you was hidin’ all this shit and couldn’t live another day without tellin’ me.”

Okay. Good. He didn’t tell him the truth.

“You told me you wanted to die dog. Didn’t realize yo dumbass was safe n sound asleep in yo fuckin’ bed.”

“Oh.”

“…’Oh’? Is that really all you have to say?!”

“F, I was jus’ drunk. It was dumb of me, I know, but I.. It’s nothing, okay?”

“Don’t do this shit to me man! I’ve already dealt with enough of yo fuckin’ schemes n shit-”

“Frank.”

“It’s 3 am! You had Chop barkin’ his Goddamn head off the whole night!”

“Franklin.”

“Then I race my ass over here to find yo drunkass self passed out in bed-”

“Franklin.”

“What! What?! You finally gonna put yo two cents in for once?”

“Stop yelling. My head hurts like a bitch right now.”

“Good! I’m fuckin’ glad because I know mine does as well you fuckin’ asshole!”

Lamar looked pathetically up at him. This was getting out of hand. He let it go on for too long.

“Why did you come here then?” He croaked.

“Because you were fuckin’ sobbin’ into the phone! All I heard was you cryin’ like mad fuckin’ crazy and it scared me. You don’t ever do that shit, not even when you fucked up.”

“How much I say?”

“I got the first message pretty fuckin’ clear, the rest was jus’ incoherent bullshit. I barely got through the second one before speedin’ on over. You sounded hurt n shit, I thought something happened. I thought you was a goner.”

“No weird shit though right? I ain’t say nothin’ bad?”

“What? Lamar, what the fuck are you on about? I just told you what yo ass cried out to me! I couldn’t even understand any of the other messages!”

“Okay, okay. That’s.. good I guess.”

“That’s good? Fuckin’ hell, why did I come here? You- ugh!”

“Franklin. Can you jus’ sit down before you pop a fuckin’ blood vessel? You stressin’ for nothin’.”

If anything, Lamar should be the one stressing right now. He had been so close to confessing without knowing. Franklin sat next to him, arms crossed.

“Franklin.”

“What.”

“I’m sorry that I scared you. I didn’t mean to.”

“Well good fuckin’ job, you accomplished that real well didn’t you.” He said, sarcastically applauding him.

“I thought you were cutting me off for good homie. You think I was gon’ let that happen?”

“Lamar, that still ain’t a good reason to freak me out like that in the middle of the night.”

“It’s only cuz you hadn’t been listenin’ to me bro. I’ve been wanting to tell you somethin’ so badly lately and I never.. got the chance.”

“Then do pray fuckin’ tell LD, what the fuck is so important that you had to do this shit to me at 3 AM!”

“Franklin man, c’mon-”

“No! Don’t start!”

Franklin stood, heading for the door as he spoke. He stopped in the threshold.

“Tell me what the fuck is goin’ on with you, or I’m leavin’ yo sad ass here to wallow. I mean it L.”

“Don’t be like that. Please man. I want to, but I-”

“Jus’ fuckin’ tell me! Why won’t you tell me?!”

“Frank-”

“I dragged my ass all the way over here for nothin’ didn’t I? You ain’t dead, you ain’t sayin’ shit, you jus’ bein’ so- ugh! Fuck!” He threw his hands up, exiting Lamar’s bedroom.

“I’m done man, fuck this.”

“Franklin wait- don’t go-” He pleaded.

Franklin did nothing but leave him stranded again, thunder rolling far in the distance. Lamar ran after him as he walked out the door, hearing the rain heavily hit the pavement. His mind was racing far ahead of him. Franklin was leaving, he was leaving for good, and he couldn’t. He can’t. That’s not how it’s supposed to work. Franklin can’t do that, he can’t-

His mind had gone so far away, that he didn’t even realize that he had tackled Franklin to the ground. The two of them fell to the ground with a loud splat, followed by sounds of pain.

“Lamar what the fuck?!”

“Don’t go! Fuckin’ hell, I gotta chase yo ass and for what?!”

“Get off me dog!”

“No!” Franklin was pinned beneath him. The raindrops that rolled off of Lamar hit him in the face.

It reminded Lamar of when they were younger, playing football or whatever sport they could outside even as the deluge soaked them both to the bone. The roles had been reversed, with Franklin constantly knocking him down onto the grassy sludge. They got quite an earful from Lamar’s mom as they tracked mud in the house upon returning. It was a memory amongst many that stuck with him like glue. Those memories couldn’t go away. Franklin couldn’t go away.

Tears mixed in with the rain as he yelled out to him.

“You fuckin’ idiot! Why you makin’ this shit so hard for me?! You keep leavin’ before I can even finish!”

Franklin struggled to break free from Lamar’s grip on his wrists, huffing as he looked away.

“Look at me!” Lamar shouted, grabbing his face with a free hand.

“I didn’t wanna fuckin’ tell you like this, but Jesus Christ! For fucks sake you stubborn asshole-”

He was doing it. He bit the fucking bullet.

“You know how we got into that fuckin’ argument last week? When I told you that I was dealin’ with that whole love thing, I wasn’t talkin’ about yo Aunt, a hoe, nobody else! I was talkin’ about you!”

Lamar threw himself off of him, stumbling backwards. Franklin propped himself onto his elbows. He finally said it. He said it, and he was far from finished.

“But you didn’t wanna fuckin’ listen! And now I’ve fucked our friendship over for a second time! All because of you! This whole thing has been drivin’ me fuckin’ insane lately, and I couldn’t do shit about it! I tried so, so hard to avoid this, but nothin’ ever goes my way, huh?! Every time I think a plan of mine’ll work, it doesn’t! You know why?!”

Opening his arms wide, he spoke loud and clear, finishing his rant.

“Lemme remind you: I’m Lamar fuckin’ Davis! The biggest fuckin’ fool, fuckin’ clown, fuckin’ whatever you wanna call me! Lamar Davis, the most naïve bitch on the planet! Fuck me for thinking that this would ever go well!”

Now it was his turn to leave. But he didn’t go back into his house. His legs moved for him, walking in no particular direction. He just needed to get away from Franklin, not caring about how damp his clothes were now. He was shaking, and he didn’t know if it was from the rain or the range of emotions he was flying through.

He could hear a pair of sneakers squishing behind him. Franklin was running, and he was catching up fast.

“Ay Lamar! Get back here!”

Oh fuck. He was chasing after him now. That’s not good. Lamar started running himself, not caring about possibly slipping and falling on his ass. Only a few hours ago, he had told himself he couldn’t be without Franklin. Now all he wanted to do was run away.

“Lamar!”

Fuck fuck fuck.

He wasn’t fast enough. The second time they hit the ground, Lamar had the wind knocked right out of him, the duo splashing right into a puddle. Hands gripped his shoulders, flipping him around.

“Lamar!”

There were only a few instances in his life where Lamar felt small. He’d always been big in character, big in height, and according to him, big in other ways. But this was one of those moments where he couldn’t help but flinch, wanting to collapse in on himself. He was so tired.

“If you gon’ beat my ass or somethin’ jus’ get it over with.” He sighed, shutting his eyes tight.

When he felt nothing but raindrops touch his face, he opened his eyes slowly. His heart sank when he did. Franklin was visibly upset, guilt in his eyes.

“Lamar. Why didn’t you tell me sooner?”

A wave of déjà vu washed over him. Oh. So that’s what precognition meant. Motherfucking psychic lady.

“You should’ve jus’ told me man.”

“I tried dog. You wouldn’t hear me out.”

“Cuz I.. I thought you got with someone. I didn’t wanna hear it straight from yo mouth if you was.”

He shifted up, Frank sitting in his lap.

“Y’know I always thought that.. Part of me jus’ kinda thought that it’d always be the two of us. I’m never gonna get Tanisha back.. but you..”

Franklin looked away.

“You a crazy ass loyal motherfucker man. You stuck by my side no matter what, and some dumbass part of me was convinced that you… I mean fuck, so many times I thought you would jus’ flat out say something. Somethin’ so I could stop waiting for the one other person I had known forever to just say that they fuckin’ loved me like that.”

Lamar blinked, rainwater getting into his eyes. It wasn’t quite as serene as his dream had been, nor was it verbatim, but Lamar didn’t care. There was something about the way the water droplets sat along Franklin’s face, highlighted by a streetlight behind him that made him look angelic.

“When you started actin’ all weird it jus’.. made me so fuckin’ mad man. I thought you was gon’ pick someone else over me. Jus’ like Tanisha did.”

“Franklin..”

“So why didn’t you jus’ say somethin’ sooner? I waited. Hell, I don’t even know why I did at first.”

“Franklin.”

“But now I’m realizin’ you must not have even noticed yoself what you was feelin’, when I fuckin’ did. I noticed and you didn’t and-”

Lamar grabbed him by the face, grip surprisingly strong after being in the rain.

“How many times do I gotta say yo name for you to hear me?”

The rain kept falling, never slowing for either one of them. Yet, it felt like time stopped. Lamar chuckled lightly.

“Franklin Clinton and Lamar Davis. Two of the dumbest motherfuckers in LS. Homies for life.”

“Yeah. Homies for life.”

His hands never left Franklin’s face. He pressed their foreheads together, lowering his voice.

“I love you, bum ass bitch.”

“Yeah yeah. I love you too.”

He kissed the top of his head, moving his hands down to embrace him in a tight hug. When was the last time they did this? As he thought it over, he could hear Franklin’s voice muffled against his chest.

“Don’t scare me like that again. Next time save us both the trouble n jus’ spill yo heart out. Dramatic motherfucker.”

The words had no malice in them, Lamar feeling him smile as he said it. He kissed him once more, and they just sat in the rain, feeling it bathe them in fond memories.

//plz listen to remember the rain by 21st century it’s so good 💔😭 anyway ya i decided to end it on a sorta happy note !!!!! franklin is a stubborn guy smh,, sorry for any typos lol also i rlly had no idea where i wanted to go with this so sorry if it’s weird or whatever

[yaboyspodcastpalace]

For the character asks: Jon, Peter Lukas, Annabelle Cane? (giving multiple suggestions so you can pick one in case you get the same character twice in different asks)

very kind of you to assume i get many asks :') THANKS ill do all of them u_u

[Send me a character and i'll tell you...]

(under the cut bc i love talking and this got long lmao)

Jon

First impression

he's a uptight prick with obvious favoritism for sasha and tim and i love him so! much!!!!!!

Impression now

my poor little mew mew hm................I've got a complicated relationship w/ jon bc i love him a lot, but i loved s1 him the most, and literally everything else just makes me really, brutally, sad ;_; The way he tries so desperately to cling to his humanity and how other characters just call him by the title imposed to him makes me wanna cry

...also he just cares so much ;_; i cry

Favorite moment

probably his interactions with georgie at the beginning of season 3!!! From s5 id say when he killed not!sasha, it felt vindictive ù_ú

Idea for a story

Dhfhdh im p basic when it comes to him ngl, either jon/tim/sasha friends to lovers or jon and desolation!tim or *something*!sasha trying to stay as human as possible, together 😔 (or just any of them living and coping together in s4 n s5)

Unpopular opinion

Im just not a fan of monster jon, at all! He's not the type of character that i enjoy seeing having a corruption arc unfortunately!! It just hurts!!! (and this Is from someone that Loves corruption arcs!!!)

Also i really hate moth jon imagery??? For not particular reason, moths are pretty, but i still hate it u_u AND THE ASSOCIATION OF GREEN W/ JON (or the beholding in general!) I CANNOT STAND IT!! i know its bc of the tma logo but guess what! Its wrong! Purple jon rights!!!

ALSO ALSO the so called pining he had for martin just.... didnt felt like that at all! i have Many feelings abt this!

Favorite relationship

either georgie in s3, or sasha!!! i love how he always praises sasha in her research in s1 and even thought he's at his driest & sharp Trying-To-Project-Professionalism-And-Skepticism she still rolls into his office, interrupts him mid statement to banter w/ him abt pronunciation n stuff and its just Normal, like that speaks volumes of how comfortable they felt around each other! they were friends gdi! the moment he realizes she died and then everytime the not!them mocks him w/ her death makes me wanna break smth q_q

im not even gonna mention tim bc even though i love their relationship It 👏 makes me👏 very 👏 sad 👏

non shippy and also staying strictly canon, i love his relationship with melanie!

Favorite headcanon

sometimes i think abt that one hc that hes really good with arcade games bc he lived near the coast and i smile bc thats cute :) also hes a trans man 💙💗🤍💗💙

Peter

First impression

Mystery evil captain man!!! Fog?? I LOVE him :)

Impression now

I STILL LOVE HIM SO MUCH!!!!!!!!! Hes an asshole and has a lovely voice and smile and hes not, hes not Dumb but also he's far from the whooooa evil lonely influence he think he is (played like a cheap fiddle). He also makes me sad in ways i cannot and wont describe, and its a shame that he died cuz he was the best part of season 4 😔 rip you beautiful bastard man i still miss you </3

Favorite moment

"It has blood on it" "thats Leitner's too :D". Also when martin was angry abt idk, breekon? Jon going into the coffin? Cant remember, but peter was like I said id protect the institute, that guys not my problem ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Idea for a story

dfgdfg i have..... a petermart story that dealt with the different flavor of loneliness they both had, half smut half genuine meta of both of them and theorization on the branching of an Entity & how their powers manifested in other people...

basically, peter thinks hes hot shit when it comes to loneliness but gets overwhelmed when martin accidentally projects his feelings abt *fic's plot stuff* on him, its fun stuff!

Unpopular opinion

people either paint him like an absolute devil or an incompetent idiot and hes neither of them! hes an asshole who loves being an asshole but far from the worst monster in the show and he tried to do a clever scheme TWICE on his life and 1. while it was established that any of the rituals wouldnt work singularly the Silence was still a pretty clever attempt if it weren't for gertrude! and 2. well... he tried to manipulate someone petty and formerly supposed to be a web avatar, again not his fault, cant call him stupid for trying dfgdfg

i Do think hes kinda pathetic in some sense considering his backstory, but more out of personal pity than anything else

Favorite relationship

Canonically speaking him and martin! The pull and push of them was The best thing about season 4! Peter being a quite dangerous avatar and martin, beautiful and scared and kinda feisty, confronting him every chance he gets, peter doing his best to manipulate him and martin letting him believe hes succeeding (even thought, he is, partly). They're fascinating characters to have side by side

Favorite headcanon

Partly canonically speaking him and mikaele salesa :) they do bets together! They're lonely sea men! What else could you possibly want?

Also non shippy i like thinking abt peter's and simon's relationship but thats entirely non canon ♡

Diversity wins! The heir of the lonely is a gay man!

Also I think as every rich household(?) the lukases had many paintings and peter as a kid saw the ones w/ sailing ships and imagined sailing far far away from his family. That and seaman aesthetic fucks, which is why he always has the same vibe going on as an adult. He does Not know half of the things he'd need to know to have a ship though but hey he's rich and thats all he needs

Annabelle

First impression

thats a horrible psychological experiment they're making there D:

Impression now

THATS STILL A HORRIBLE EXPERIMENT AND ANNABELLE DESERVED SO MUCH BETTER............. idk! she makes me sad in the same way jon (and to a degree, peter) does! to be a living puppet for the thing that traumatized you as a kid and that later kinda killed you / is the only thing keeping you alive, to be devoted to it scrambling to believe in a higher reason for all of it to happen bc to believe otherwise is............. anyway. i love her, and i feel so so sorry for her

Favorite moment

her "maybe ive never been to the beach" at the end of ehr statement (that i fully believe its bullshit but, yknow, i love that she adds that), most of her convos with martin, her "i told you this might happen" "you did, you did" with mikaele

Idea for a story

i think a lot about her having conversations w/ either mikaele (platonically) or sasha (shippy) and their different points of views and treat with her making her doubt the web a bit

Unpopular opinion

listen, listen, i know it sounds like im woobifying her i Know it but reading the scraps of her story how can i Not feel sorry for her? when the story framed her very similar to jon? the supernatural childhood encounter that gave them arachnophobia and the subsequential joining with an Entity against her will? the fact that both the story and the fans treat her like a spider woman always sat very very bad to me, and the fact that the story itself always framed her like a villain (considering All The Other Characters that get the benefit of the doubt) was extremely disappointing

Favorite relationship

her and mikaele!!!!!!! wish we could have seen more scenes of just the two of them!!!!!! *singing* he is her daaaaaad, hes her dad! boogie boogie boogie! (ok no but like... their offscreen friendship is my favorite thing of season 5 ;_;)

Favorite headcanon

Sigh i dont know...i still think she's scared of spiders which make her current existence harder but thats a sadcanon :/ umm...... i love the idea of mikaele and her cooking together from time to time! Mikaele showing her some plates he used to eat as a kid as he talks stories about his life :) and she listens and sometimes tells a story of her own! its been so long since he had a quasy normal conversation! its weird yet nice!

[keepcalm-and-beyou]

Machine Gun Kelly(Colson Baker)

Telling Rook The News (PART2 being rooks ex & Pregnant with Kells baby):

Part 1 here

It sucks. All I could manage to think first thing this morning. Sitting on my bed feeling anxious repeating words in my head it sucks. It sucks I had to wake up, it sucks I am in this situation, it sucks I have to leave my house, it sucks I have to tell Rook. What doesn’t suck is Colson will be there with me to tell him. I honestly doubt I’d be able to do it my self but like Colson said he’d help with this former issue we called it but now simply it is our Baby, So he will be there for this dreadful conversation to come. I don’t want to hurt Rook but it’s not like we can hide it. Pretty classy I feel best friend of the boyfriend we’ll EX boyfriend. I’m hoping Colson takes charge on the topic while I try not to die of embarrassment and stress.

I definitely gotta try not to stress so much Colson is right it’s not good for the baby and first three months are most critical for miscarrying. I don’t want that to happen I may be freaked about the Rook part of the situation but other than that I’m happy I’ll be a mother with the most beautiful baby sense Colson is the father and how excited Casie will be just melts my heart. Casie will be the best big sister anyone could ask for, she’s so kind, helpful, independent and crazy smart for her age. Mine and Colson baby boy or girl can learn a lot from her as they grow.

Colson is such a great Dad no matter what the public sees of him in his party pictures and smoking dope. He truly is a great dad to his daughter and no doubt with our baby. I feel a little better now thinking of Casie and Colson it turns plenty stress into positivity.

It’s decently early doubt the boys have had breakfast or even coffee heck doubt any are awake right now knowing those crazy boys. But Colson better be up I don’t wanna show up having to wake Colson and Rook up. To be nice and ease the blow I shall pick up breakfast for everyone. So that’s what I’m doing as of now driving to Denny’s grabbing food and coffee. I decide to play the radio game while driving to the guys house. I ask the radio a question “how will today go?” I speak out loud. And turn the station to whatever hearing the song Everything Sucks playing. Oh how ironic. My nerves slightly climb back up as I near the guys house, I sigh as I stop my car in front of the house.

(Kells P.O.V)

I sat hands together alsmot like I was praying for this shit to go smooth. How the actual fuck will this go smooth though! If it was me dining this shit out what Rook is about to today I’d be flipping shit. I haven’t even slept much yo this all been keeping me up worrying about losing my bro and band mate, not like I can replace him so easily fuck.

I need to get high like right now I can’t deal with everything sober. Few puffs of my joint and I’m feeling better for now. I put out the roach of my joint in time to see Y/N outside looking like she grabbing some shit out her car. I hurried to the door basically running to her to help grab what apparently is take out food and oh fuck yes coffee. “Hey” she spoke slightly dragging it out. I broke a small smile at her “Hey yo thanks for bringing coffee girl” she shut her car door and said “of course how can I not die the coffee lover” she smiles.

Ah that smile is helping for sure with my nerves. We walked quietly into my house and straight for the kitchen where I sat down the food and drinks. “Is he up?” Y/N asked me speaking in a whispering tone clear as day nervous and looked around. “I don’t think so” i shrug. She let out a big fucking sigh and part of me hurt formher having to do this to deal with this but fuck what else we gonna do right. “Hey girl it’s going to be okay I gotchu” I told her and wrapped my arms around her shirt figure. It almost felt hella awkward until she put her arms around me to. I rested my chin on to her head for a moment then pulled away. “Let’s eat just us we’ll wake Rook after if we have to” i Nodded to the food starting to pull items out of the bags. “I don’t know if I can eat right now Kells” Y/N admitted. But I wasn’t gonna listen to that “yo you need to eat ain’t starving my kid” i whisper to her. “Your right I’m sorry I gotta focus on the whole me and baby’s health” she nodded at her own words. “And you unfortunately shouldn’t drink coffee” I spoke up in facts which I learnt many when Casie wasn’t born yet. Her eyes went wide it was adorable “aw just this last cup and I’ll switch to herbal teas” she chuckled. “Ight deal” I handed her a coffee.

“So as his best friend and band mate you should take the lead on telling him” she smiles widely to me. That girls smile gonna be the death of me. “Oh I see just throw me under the bus first” I laugh. And then take a bite of my food watching her do the same. “you said don’t stress and talking lots might meake me stressed” again she smiles at me. Fucking chick. “Yaya I gotcha girl, always will” I assured her taking her much smaller hand in mine.

We cleaned up our little mess and sat on one of the couches in the living room. “I guess we should wake him up” Y/N tells me. I turn my head to her “Wake who up me?” Rooks voice comes from behind us both our heads snap to him. “Hey dude morning” I greet him. “Morning. Hey Y/N what you doing here?” Rook asks her. “Just visiting I brought breakfast and coffee, go eat we’ll catch up when your done” Y/N tried her best to be cool I can see it in her eyes being this close to her on the couch she’s feeling freaked.

We all sat at the kitchen table Rook just finishing his food and sipping on his coffee. “Thanks for the food Y/N” Rook smiles to her. “It’s the least I could do” Y/N spoke softly to him. Then gave me a sad look. “So your here to visit me?” Rook asks her “and to talk” she adds quickly. “About what?” “Oh okay right um well I love you and care about you” Y/N starts off “why does it sound like your dumping me in front of Colson?” Rook looked worried and Y/N looked panicked. “Dude it’s kinda important I’m here for this convo” I told him. “Why bro what’s going on?”. “Please listen best as you can and calmly as you can to us” Y/N spoke up. “Okay what the fuck” he responds. “When we broke up” Y/N began but Rook cut her off “when we broke up what?!” He angrily asked looking between her and I. Y/N looked defeated and like she was going to cry. “Look dude I’m fucking sorry for this you know I care about her and you man, we got shitfaced like the whole fucking weekend and ya know shit happens” I told him. “What what shit happened?!” He demands and bits his bottom lip.

“Please clam down” Y/N says calmly and out her hand on his clenched fist. But he abruptly moves pushing her hand away aggressively. “Hey man clam down!” I told him strongly. “Just tell me what happened” Rook demands again. “I was upset and Kells was there for me like always he’s a good friend. Don’t forget that don’t forget his love for you no matter” Y/N tried to speak as calmly as she can like rooks a bomb gonna go off which I can see that happening. “No matter what?” He yells causing Y/N to jump frightened. “We hooked up when you broke up” I finally admitted to him.

Rook stands up enraged which makes Y/N stand fast moving to my side as rook now is coming closer to me. “Yo dude chill just hold up” I spoke hands up not wanting to fight my bro. But he swung and doing so I moved Y/N out of the way best I could. Lucky he missed but grabbed my shirt and swung again hitting me near my right eye. We bumped into Y/N knocking her over on to the floor. “Dude wait stop!” I shrieked. And helped y/n off the floor isntslty my hand hands on her face holding her head looking at her as if she was injured “you okay” i ask her worriedly. “Yes I’m fine” she assures me. “Awe look at the love birds” Rook snarks To us. “Dude I love you bro I’m sorry Kay like fuck y’all were broken up I’d never go there if that was the case” “that doesn’t make it much better” Rook says now less mad and sounding hurt. “Rook I’m sorry nothing was intended I know we were trying to work on us but that’s over and wasn’t going anywhere it seeemd and also the fact is to that I’m Pregnant” Y/n spoke moving closer to him.

Rook looked almost confused. “It’s mine if it wasn’t obvious man we having a baby, we are not a couple, we are focusing on Y/N and the babies health and needs” rook stood silent maybe in ducking shock. “And I’m not gonna lie I do have feelings for her dude always felt something so if by chance we also become in a relationship other than parents to our child, I hope you don’t hate me for it if it happens and hate me now for what is going on but I wish you wouldn’t bro fuck I need you man not only as a fucking awesome band mate but as my brother and future uncle to my kid yo ya know if you wanted to be” I rant out to my best friend.

“You guys should talk this through I’ll go I’m so sorry Rook, I wish you this best in love and life” Y/N said to rook with a weak smile. “No no stay I don’t care, I need time to like think about shit, like a part of me wanna say congrats on the baby yet that seems fucked yo cuz I’m hurt, I lose my girl or ex whatever fuck, I can see it now to though y/n was right us working through shit wasn’t going as it was suppose to. I just gotta get out this house” Rook shares with us and walks towards the stairs. “but bro you coming back right?” I ask in high hopes as he takes a step up the stairs Y/N standing beside me. “Yeah man I’ll be back later” and with that he was upstairs.

“That didn’t go to terrible” Y/N tires to sound positive and puts her hand on my shoulder. “Yeah I guess he could of really beat the fuck outta me if I let him and not stop” we both smile lightly to each other. “I think I should go to, let us all have alone time we need” she says to me. I grab her hand “What if I don’t want you to go?” I ask her more of a statement though. She shakes her head “no it’s what’s best trust me and I need a nap” she chuckles. “Okay only cuz a nap would do you both good” i smile at her not showing stomach. “You really are gonna be an amazing dad to our baby, heck Kells you already are” Y/N smiles big. That big beautiful smile. That smile that makes me wanna smile, the smile that will make me fucking do anything for her, and now I’ll do anything for our baby, our future family.

[his-name-was-robert-paulson3]

So deeply I feel I don't deserve my boyfriend. He is everything I've always wanted. Peace of mind, gentle love. Patience and understanding. He's always trying to help me get on my feet and I've never had that before from someone who's not my dad. Who's been the only one to help me with anything, especially With my mental illness he's been the only one to do the most to get me the help I need. It's like, my bf being an "outsider" someone who's not my family, someone who doesn't have to "deal" with me, I don't expect him to help me with anything. That's something I have to do. But man. He helps me so much. He's helping me get my drivers license. He's pushing me to do the most I can to get another job rn. He's offered to help me get my GED. He's doing everything he can to help me make those steps to be independent. And I love him for that. He doesn't have to do these things but he does because he loves me and wants to see me in a better place in my life. I just wish I could help him the same. We talked this weekend, he's been stressed about a lot including his living situation. I have been too with mine, but I'm kinda stuck here atm cuz uh no job. But we talked about when I do have a stable job, that maybe we can try getting a place together. We've been together for 2 years now, and I never wanted to even bring up that topic until I got a stable job. But this Convo has me more motivated than ever to get on my shit. It's a next step for us. But I need to do my part. I need a job n I'm gonna fucking get one. I have been trying, applying to everywhere, but I'm gonna try more. Because I want to help him too. And that's what it's all about. Helping each other reach a better place and growing together. I want that so bad with him. I'm gonna get on my shit. I already have my referral for psychiatry and that's one step. Next week we go to get my drivers permit and I'm GONNA be fucking driving. I'm gonna bust my ass to get a fucking job. And save up money again. And limit money going to binge food. I'm gonna do my shit.

[punkscowardschampions]

Ali & Carly

Ali: this is why i don't wear shoes Ali: i have lost one??? Ali: rescue it if you see it Carly: what do they look like Ali: just a kinda tan sandal thing Ali: just a penneys special so not the end of the world, should chuck the other one so someone can have the pair Carly: come & bring me food & then youll be here to reunite them Carly: but yea k will lean out my door & see if its there Ali: love the enthusiasm, babe 😜 Ali: can feel your come down from here Carly: dont barely remember the come up Carly: wtf happened last night Ali: not in a much better position myself but uhm Ali: mayhem, that's for sure Ali: i think you might've gone home with the wrong cousin Carly: shit Carly: my bad Carly: better read my txts Carly: who did you go w ? Ali: didn't go that far with anyone Ali: 💍 remember and such a 😇 Ali: ronan was in a mard though and i weren't up for listening to that so 🤷 Carly: aw Carly: sorry baby i'll calm him down Ali: it's chill 😂 bless him Ali: no need on my account tho i'm sure he'd be down, despite protests otherwise Carly: my inbox is Carly: cba w this rn Ali: oh baby, want a bacon sarnie and a secretary? Carly: yea Carly: gonna throw my phone w your shoe Ali: i woke up to a mystery dickpic on my phone Ali: is it rude to ask which one it belongs to because lads, sorry, not that memorable that i'm picking it out of a line-up Ali: you'll know, been more recent, i'll come over with food and lucozade for real and ruin your day with that lovely image and the actually rather creative sexts that went with it Ali: 10/10 for effort, sir Carly: cant put it on the cv or school report but my memory for 'em is good Carly: if ive seen it i'll id it Carly: ill laff if its the large ginge cousin whose name i never got Carly: sounded like a cough Ali: that's a talent and if the man can't see that, fuck him Ali: and his job in tescos, like Ali: i mean, shouldn't have a preference but i hope not 😂 Ali: soz honey but Carly: thanks baby Carly: I hope its that token english Carly: he was fit Ali: can reply if you like Ali: worse ways to waste a sunday morning than messing with boys Ali: sounding like a priest Ali: oops Carly: ha Carly: i found some fucking funny vids of us so maybe the phone shouldnt go out window before youve had a look Ali: yes, i need to see that Carly: [sends her fave of the vids] Ali: aww Ali: we're fun drunks Ali: love that for us Carly: yea Carly: im a messy bitch tho Carly: no wonder i went w the hero cousin Ali: meh, things happen at parties, everyone knows that Ali: not like you're proper attached is it Ali: though he's gonna be annoying now probs but day in the life when you're irresistible, yeah? Carly: youd know babe Carly: he wont be on site long never is Carly: so idc Carly: saved me for a nite boy youre welcome Ali: duh Ali: hottest couple in town Ali: one for the wank bank anyway Carly: yea & he is fit Carly: give him that Carly: esp when i dont understand what hes saying Ali: the best kind Ali: a boy you don't have to speak to 😜 Ali: if that's all it takes like, whip out the Gaeilge Carly: youve got the giggles but yea Carly: true Carly: but on site id just have all the oldies chatting at me if i could Carly: not trying to make them go weak Ali: they ain't daddies? boo 😥 Carly: some got many kids but thats it Carly: say something to me then Ali: [sends voice memo, probably has dirty words she'd recognise from site life and lots of loling] Carly: k Carly: so hot Carly: if your gf is mad at me for stealing you last nite you can smooth things over w her like that Ali: might have to Ali: though it ain't you she's 😤 with Ali: poor ronan, shoulda done more than snog him if she comes for him, not even worth it for that Carly: ill protect him when he lets me back near Carly: cant stay mad at this Carly: sure your girls the same Ali: She's mad 24/7 babe, just gotta hold on, like 😂 Ali: we want different things now but that's not a convo for this morning like jesus Carly: whos got the energy Carly: cba w angry Carly: yea you want a sarnie Ali: exactly, and i wanted to have fun last night but may as well have said i want his dick in or around my mouth k bye babe Carly: ha Carly: that would be fun tho Ali: tell that to past you, dashing his threesome dreams like 🤷💔 Carly: still time Ali: not me you need to promise baby Carly: yea but id rather talk to you Ali: 💚 Ali: you cute Carly: all you Carly: how you look so good coming from band? wtf Ali: psh please Ali: it was all about you 🙇 Carly: if that was true why is every memory i got from last nite just you Carly: facts Ali: had to get you away from that mirror somehow, like 😉 Ali: it was fun Carly: ha Carly: cuz your talents got me like Carly: yea it was Ali: helps when the canvas already beautiful babe Carly: aw Carly: youre sweet Ali: 🍓 Carly: gonna make me cry Ali: don't cry lil one Ali: the bacon is coming Ali: got roped into doing a shady kid swap, where is my ma, take this demon child Carly: you can bring him if you want Carly: ill put clothes on before Ali: cockblocked again 😉 Ali: nah, he needs to go get shoes Ali: ironically and unlucky, twat Carly: what size is he Carly: i can ask around when i look for yours Carly: lads flog everything and anything here on sundays Ali: his feet are big man Ali: he's only little but he's lanky af, unlike me Ali: that's fun tho Ali: imma go shopping Carly: aw Carly: yea wish i was taller Carly: ffs ma and da Ali: literally Ali: least neither of my sisters are model tall or i'd be more raging Ali: we make it work, babe Carly: & i dont have any sisters Carly: well done on that one tho ma & da Ali: speak for yourself Ali: i'm gutted Carly: oww Carly: trying to replace me like the vows were no thing Ali: you know you're my one and only Ali: but a woman got needs Carly: thats what your gf is for Carly: no Ali: yeah but i'm allowed wishful thinking too Ali: damn Carly: ive given you the mental image of me naked Carly: what more you need Ali: are you jealous of your hypothetical sister? Carly: yea if you like her more Ali: aw baby, 'course not Ali: she's a ride, yeah, but bit of a bitch too, like Carly: ha Carly: takes after our ma like Ali: sadly, straighter than you Ali: 👎 Carly: like theres a ranking Carly: just straight or not yea Ali: I mean, it is a scale but I'm not gonna try and bond with your Ma giving her the test for it, like Ali: could we tie her down for a sec, obvs Carly: hit her when shes washing up Carly: takes long Ali: okay, i'll dry 😉 Ali: what an offer Carly: trying to make me vom now Carly: take crying or blushing over Ali: soz babe Carly: her & my da dont fuck but still dont reckon youre her type Ali: don't know what's worse, that, or knowing they do Carly: im good w them not Carly: sound carries Carly: no secrets in the caravan Ali: sure there's a toilet block they could go to Ali: keeping it sexy Carly: sure my da's there doing his cry wank Carly: while my ma checks the talent Carly: we got that to look forward to in our marriage in a few years Ali: who's scouting who's cranking Ali: because frankly, i refuse either Carly: im the biggest slag so probs me Carly: sorry Ali: and I'm not Ali: igloo sisters how many times now?! 😂 Carly: ha Carly: but youre loyal Carly: me and my ma dont kno the meaning like Ali: am i Ali: you miss the part when i got on ronan Carly: o yea Carly: i forgot Ali: idk what i'm gonna do about that Ali: instant gameover but its literally so irrelevant Carly: hes a ride Carly: you should be excused for it Ali: she's a 6 on that scale, yeah, massive gay Ali: so she ain't seeing that, never mind the other shit Carly: shit yea Carly: dont tell her Ali: does that make me the worst? Ali: i should hm Carly: hes not gonna speak to her Carly: and if he brags you can call it that Ali: Yeah Ali: I don't know Carly: its that or tell her Carly: & say youre sorry Carly: we were all wasted Carly: not like you have feelings for him Ali: You're right, obviously Ali: like that's the truth but yeah Ali: might leave it unless I need to go there Ali: soz God, swing by confession later Carly: tell her youre a bi cliche Carly: she'd love it Carly: use the scale Ali: she would tho Ali: validate everything she's ever sneaky or not so thought about me Ali: soz, i need a constant stream of p n v or i die Carly: a girl has needs Carly: what am i a 1? Ali: its like dis Ali: 1- all straight 2- mostly straight but lil gay 3- equal/bi 4- mostly gay but still lil into opposite 5- total gay Ali: but not gonna resist the urge to tell you you a 10 Carly: ��� Carly: i like that you're 3 tho. 3's a lucky number Ali: and a magic one 🔮 Carly: yea cuz youre magical Ali: believe it baby Carly: i do Ali: right, finally leaving, be like 10 Ali: doing the opposite to a walk of shame rn, strutting back in like what's good Carly: you gotta Carly: own it baby Carly: havent found your shoe tho sorry Carly: maybe ronan took it cuz he loves you so bad Ali: 😂 oh my god Ali: like a horny puppy Carly: yea Carly: building a shrine to you rn probs Ali: or he wanna play cinderella Ali: such a ridiculous fairytale, as far as they go Carly: how wasted was the prince that he cant remember what she looks like Carly: k been there but not trying to wife anyone Ali: right?! also, sure plenty of bitches a size 5, like??? Ali: was it a magic shoe Ali: no explanation, frankly Carly: yea like me and you have the same size Carly: ill take your prince for a ride bitch Ali: 😂 Ali: he cool with that Ali: that's the tea Ali: boy gives no fucks, long as it ain't a man in drag Carly: he hasnt met your brother tho Carly: boy looks good Ali: eww Ali: stop that thought right there Carly: dont get jealous Carly: not gonna go there Ali: not jealous, but repulsed 😷 Carly: k babe Carly: if you say so Ali: trust, you wanna see jealous you'll see it soon enough if you go there Ali: 😂 bea don't fuck about Carly: have to go for one of your other hot brothers Ali: trying be my sister in law and wife Ali: kickin it country Carly: you kno Carly: been on site too long Ali: forreal, not gotta hang with the traveller lads that hard baby Carly: after last nite not gonna be hanging w them for a while Ali: let 'em fight it out amongst themselves Ali: defs for the best Carly: yea Carly: hide w me babe Carly: gonna be so bored Ali: gonna Ali: i'll peep their wares another day Ali: not a euphemism Carly: sounds dirty tho Ali: yeah, regretted it as i said it but hey Ali: love me a sale and a gypsy boy Carly: no regrets boo Carly: they love you too Carly: esp whoever send the dick pic Ali: the real mystery Ali: soz everyone else with your drama but we gotta know Carly: i do need to be knowing Carly: thats my wife lads Ali: awh you gonna defend my honour n delicate sensibilities Carly: yea Carly: youre an angel Ali: you're so cute Carly: its you Carly: my parents came back Carly: gonna have to run Ali: oh no i am en route Ali: where you going boo Carly: i'll catch you and we can find somewhere theyre not Carly: ha church Carly: can you eat there cuz im not looking to die for jesus Ali: yeah for sure, not in the pews like its the cinema, like Ali: can go park if you wanna Ali: or up the mountain if you can hack it, like Carly: youre so smart Carly: like your mouth Carly: but yea Carly: date time Ali: awh yeah Ali: this picnic ain't goals i'm so sorry babe Ali: least the weather's looking up Carly: idc Carly: get to be w my boo Ali: 😍 Carly: i look crazy Carly: havent got dressed faster w out getting fucked before since idc Carly: idk Ali: i like crazy Ali: and beside me you'll probs look totally normal 😉 Carly: you look hot every day baby Carly: facts Ali: all these compliments got me feeling 🔥 obvs Carly: thats how i want it Ali: gonna have you flying high too Ali: top of the world, baby Carly: aw Carly: whats in the food like Ali: 😂 Ali: just faith n trust n pixiedust, of course Carly: you can snort pixiedust yea? Carly: k Ali: you gon' be mad when i've got nothing but sandwiches and half a donut Carly: nah Carly: cant be mad at you Carly: too cute Ali: and donuts are life Carly: true

[goldenscript]

i love crying so anything emotional is an instant read/watch for me ;;; AHH I KNOW I NEED TO WATCH AVATAR I HEARD IT'S AMAZING highkey hyped about it bc of zuko, heard his redemption arc is the best. and im a bitch for characters looking for redemption!! hit me with that character development shit!! and lmao nah gsnk is the funniest shoujo anime ive come across. oh yeah that winter sadness came in real strong for me this year too i was just so unmotivated? AND HAHA AJ RAFAEL'S WE COULD (1/?

HAPPEN HAUNTS ME TO THIS DAY BC EVERYONE PERFORMED IT AT THE TALENT SHOW. it was a bop back then tho. and ofc i’d notice bby!! honestly that song gives me such good vibes like :-( let me be in the mcu universe pls :-( omg wow thank u i’d love to have a friend like u tbh!! rbf duo lmao but HAHA THE OTHER DAY I WAS SO WEAK IN THE LIBRARY bc i went on my old aff account (come on i kno some of yall read/wrote fanfics on there) and i was cringing soo hard. my stories were so embarrassing (2/?       

and i just cringed bc who would reaD THIS??? APPARENTLY A LOt oF PEOPLE?? Mind u this was in like middle school-freshmen year. lmao but at the same time i was like…. mildly impressed bc….. wow i had a lot of shit saved up that could’ve been so much more. It was all like bts, exo, bap, and block b hahah and being the fantasy nerd that i was, i made my own world and terms and?? there were also a bunch of angsty sad stories?? like damn who hurt past me?? thinking about going back to rewrite (3/?            

them tbh. and i saw a convo between me and this writer and we were complaining about the lack of bts fics during the time LMAO this was probably like 2014? anyways, im so into the supernatural, dystopian, fantasy genres man!! like imagine bts (or anybody) bein some head ass demigods/high beings that are being punished for various reasons and the punishment involves them working mundane ass jobs lmao like mcd cashier, retail worker, cafeteria lady, janitor, delivery boy, etc on earth -sjsu             

honestly, forgive me for being so crap about not responding to this yesterday! i was so tired i actually slept at 11 like my energy was so depleted, i didn’t want to sit up on my laptop or really open my eyes. it’s a first. usually i’m up until like 3 AM on weekends bc i get so energetic? but anyway, i hope you had a good friday!!!!!!!!! and i hope saturday’s treating you kindly :D

okay, me. i hate crying about emotional / personal issues, which is why i don’t really cry over that stuff?? like it’s too painful for me. but crying over shows???? idols??? done and done kjsdfhksjfha i cried like a bitch BOTH times i watched haikyuu!! and kuroko no basketball and…. ok i cried when i watched the second season of free! and voltron (did you know season 5 is up cuz i haven’t binged through it yet but aHHHHH!!!!) so you can see my priorities tbh. and yeeeeeeeees! i love redemption arcs too. i love anti-heroes bc they’re so multi-faceted like i know that’s expected but seeing them reveal different parts of themselves is just so nice and you come to love them bc some of their motivations are just so mislead i.e. zuko and wanting to please his father like he tries so hard and still it isn’t enough and he’s precious ok :( love him.

broooooooooooooo, same! i could do 9 AMs no biggie fall quarter (and one 8 AM discussion) but this quarter just having three of ‘em throughout the week is so hard. winter depression really hit me too. i don’t mention it on here a lot but it’s there and Strong. my coping mechanism is to just distract myself and keep busy tho.

WE COULD HAPPEN JFGKSHDKFJSH i remember when the mv dropped and all the uke players like………………….. died and ascended into another plane bc aj was the uke god back then. still talented af tho so good on him!!!!!!!! & (’: even just commenting on that change of my makes me so happy so thank you!!!!!!! i’d die to be in the mcu universe ok, lemme see a filipina hero or antihero pls n thx - that way i can truly say i’ve lived tbh. grhsgoshduj lmao yes let’s be the rbf duo!!!!!!!! me and you!!!!!!!!!!!

i actually never had an aff but my best friend read some stories on there LOL. i posted on quotev and fanfiction.net tho. like ff.net was how i got my start into the world of fanfics back in like 3rd grade??????? so 2008???????? but omfg when i posted fic on tumblr it was 5sos n teen wolf n yes sports anime…………………….. i kinda cringe with the pieces just ‘cuz i read this one 5sos one and it was just Cringey kdsjfhsjkhf the sports animes were fine-ish just cuz they were a little more recent but god just thinking about my older writing both horrifies and gratifies me bc i came such a long way to where i am now. i totally support going back and re-vamping them tho!!!!!!!!! i have a story from high school that was kinda a fanfic / venting piece and i posted it on my old account but never re-posted it here so whenever i touch it again i might just re-vamp it.

GIRL YAS. i fuckin’ love that!!!!!!!!!!! i love slice of life pieces cuz that’s my shit but i really want to do more fantasy pieces. i feel like i don’t have the guts to bc i have a few fantasy / dystopian wips that i have yet to touch but i aim to whenever the inspo’s there

[keerawrrr]

so yesterday I mentioned Juicy dealing with some news with his sisters. well he asked me in the morning if he could come over after work, I was like sure, I'm here for you whenever.....so he comes thru, I feed him, provide his fav soda and our fav Spanish snack; we watch friends, talk and laugh for a bit. I make him share a dream he was sposed to tell me the other day (before our big blow up) and then I share two of mine with him lol my shit was bonkers; I finally ask him what's up with his sisters; he relays everything, and I can see how upset he was, I give him a lil advice from my perspective and if I were in such a situation but I know it's a SLIM chance, he gon do anything I would when it comes to his family lol -eye roll-...anyway so he relaxes a bit and gets to cuddling me; he ends up going into my room and relaxing, I follow, we talk some more and laugh, I help him with a H&R survey, we find him a phone case online...eventually he starts staring into my eyes n complimenting me, stroking my hair and having me lay across him or him lay up under me, pressing me to him and we make out lol he gives me and inch and I try to take a mile...unsuccessfully lol but I DID get to put my hand down the back of his pants and hold one of his cheeks for a very long time without him freaking out lol #Victory 😂😂 We did have a convo about the first time we became attracted to eachother and when we realized how close we were, cuz honestly both things jst kinda came outta nowhere; he's a guy and I know him and another dude would eyeball me and snicker about my boobs or ass but to actually BE interested in each other or start giving a fck about each other, we dnt have a starting reference lol all I have for sure is the day he stood up for me wit a customer, almost beating they ass; the first time he grabbed my waist and moved me out the way in drive thru and the first time he told me he would eat me out; all 3 were major shockers for me lol but ANYWAYYYYY; he also told me he loved me twice (that's always something I'm gonna mention, like yea it's old news but so what lol), After all the bed wrestling, he was ready to go; had to catch the bus. I get a text from one of our managers saying she's at the gym so I figure instead of him catching the bus, I can jst drop him off since it's in the same area. as I'm JST checking my msgs, he falls asleep snoring on the bed; I tap him like aye wake up, u snoring, he denies it, claims he wasn't even asleep lol oooook....I start getting dressed and the muhfcka falls BACK to sleep, so I grab his phone and record him on his snapchat with a nice lil caption & then a pic of me snickering with "goteeeeeeeeeem" 😂😂 I finally wake him back up, get him up and about and we dip out. we're riding and he's singing along to the radio and stuff, browsing cars on CraigsList, he seems OK. I drop him off, we hug and before he closes the door he goes "Thanks Cherokee, fa real..." and idk what to say so I jst blow him a kiss. I get to the gym and he texts me saying that I really helped him out today, I made him forget everything he was dealing with

ends up sending me 4 videos, all with a song playing, I make sure I listen to them all twice and when I tell u them bitches were ACCURATE! man, it was SOOOOOO sweet; like for u to know Juicy, you'd be like damn dude....lol so here's both verses he sent:

"I reminisce, on the first time we ever kissed, In the devilish world you my only angel. Cancel concerts to stay with you and watch cable, kiss your navel, candlelights on the table; You never cared if I was financially stable...12 years, to me it feels like 12 minutes; My love for you sees no limits"

"its paradise no matter where we at, The movies, the club, Six Flags, the Super Track; I was a dropout, no education whatsoever but you stuck with me through all kinds of fucked up weather, hoping days'll get better like I said they would....They said "Stand by your man", and there you stood. I was 17, now I'm 29 and I pray you'll be mine 'til the end of time"

& I actually liked this part myself after listening to the song twice:

"You take the breath from me, make my life heavenly, I can't believe the way the good Lord is blessin' me. One in a million, mother of my children; me without you like car without engine. You listen to my dreams that I vision, respect that I smoke Mary Jane, it's like my religion. The pigeons, sometimes make you worry but I can see , you know my vision ain't blurry" -SPM, MISS PERFECT

I didn't KNOW it was SPM until I asked his ass twice to tell me so I could download it lol; he loves SPM (well most Hispanics do lol) but bitch I was all in 17yr old first love dedication mode lol

this dude man, he surprises me more and more everyday....and I'm glad he knows that bullshit aside (petty ass arguments), when shit gets serious I'm here for him (cuz our argument wasn't over 10 seconds when the shit with his sisters started and I switched gears to focus on him even tho we were JST pissed at each other a few ago lol)....I even remember him saying earlier in the night that it's not jst physical between us and I looked at him like no shit, u ain't gotta tell me that. I told him, I know it's not, I know what we have...I said even tho what we have makes me wanna rip your clothes off and rape u, I know we're not JST that, he started cracking up 😂 😂

but man....fck, I jst love him lol OK I'm done lol I'm done

[medullah-oblongata]

April 30, 2017 - 9:39 AM

Okay so lately I have been kinda distant with him like unintentionally and I didn't realize it. And he called me out on it too asking if everything was alright or why I have attitude cuz I would give him one word responses. So I would say like nothing is wrong n stuff but then I had convo with raman a few days ago and told her that he thinks that and she was like it's probs cuz it's kicking in that you're coming home and u know u won't see him and stuff so ur scared and u want to end it. And I'm like hmm maybe but idk. So whatever but then I realized that I have been kinda mean. And so last week he called and asked if it was ok if he came to see me this weekend and I said no lol but obvs I wanted to see him. So today I was hanging with friends and then he msged and was like is it still a no? But then we were done hanging and I'm like no come. So he drives all the way out here but idk why I got distant again. But then he's like ok let's go do something so on our way to niagara there was this park near brock with like a bridge n shit lol and he knew about my fantasy of doing it in the forest anyway so we were just walking and talking about our issues and then I'm like let's go in deeper like off the path and he's like why?? With a look on his face and I'm like LOOOL no not cuz of that I just wanna see. But then we reached the end and I was like damn this is the perf spot. So yeah we did it LMAO. He was saying no but I'm like stop being a pussy no one will come. But yeah we heard a couple noises after a while so we had to stop just in case but it was fun LOL. But anyway after that we drove to niagara to walk around and eat. And yeah we like talked some more about our sitch and I was just like I think it's time for a reality check for the both of us, like if it hasn't worked it's never going to. And he was like no I have a feeling it will work. And then we had normal convos too. And then I went to go pee and he fricken pays for my dinner even tho he knows I always like to pay for myself. And yeah then we were driving home, he couldn't stay the night cuz he has a reception and soccer playoffs tomorrow, and he was just like idk super nice when I had an attitude and idk whyyyyy I got like that like fuck. But yeah then we came home and he was just gonna drop me off but I was like no park in visitor so I can say final goodbye. Then we had a convo in there but it lead to making out and then he did end up coming up for a bit lol but then after an hour he's like ok I gotta go for sure now. But then I was like ok nice knowing you and idk like he actually got sad and was like I don't think it's the end stop saying that and I'm like no man it has to be like it's just not going to work. And I wanna use this next month to get over him cuz then in June I'm already gonna be sad about leaving like I don't wanna be triple depressed. But yeah so I kinda ended it with him but idk if it's the right choice. He kept saying it wasn't the end and that he would still talk to me and I said no. And then when he was leaving I was trying to say proper goodbye (I was still in bed, he was putting on clothes and shoes) and then he's like okay lock your door and I'm like don't be mad. But he was just like I'm not mad but why would I be all smiling and happy when the girl I like wants to cut me off? Lol and I was like ok true and I let him go. But now idk like what the fuck is wrong with me. Why can't I just knowwww what to do?!?!? Oh rip and when we were leaving the park we saw an aux cord and he forgot his today and I'm like da f man wanted to jam to brown music. So we saw one there and I'm like I dare u to steal it. And he's like I dare u to steal it. Lmfao so I did but then we saw a car coming in and I thought someone might come back for it but they didn't so then we did a drive by steal lmao. And then at home he was like oh u can keep this and I'm like no I don't need it I use usb cord. And then he's like ok I will then, another memory of you to torture me LMAOOOOO - So the above is what I sent to my cousins after a weird day. He came over for like 6 hours and I just gave him so much attitude (except when we were doing it) and then over dinner and on our walk and in bed we talked about our issues. But he said to wait until vancouver so he can figure it out, and I kept saying I knew it wasnt going to work. He was so good with handling my attitude and still tried to make me laugh. He tried to make me stay and said we could make it work, even though we have nothing in common. But I just dont get it and he doesnt get it either, we’re confused. He also said he could see it working out and that he wants to be with me, but I was like I dont know, i feel like we’re both gonna feel trapped and unhappy if we continue with this, especially towards marriage. And he disagreed and said he would make me the happiest. I just didn’t agree. And then he said “fine just let me regret it for the rest of my life.” and I said no, that I thought it was and wanted it to be mutual. And he said it wasn’t the end and that he didn’t agree, but I still let him go. He kissed me on the forehead, too. Now I feel like shit, my friend said she was disappointed in me and that I was incredibly rude and evil, and so I said sorry to him and all he said was “it’s ok.” I don’t know if I should respond or not so im just not going to open it. I really need a sense of direction in my life, everything is a messs.