#cuz this is infinitely better. obviously there's some stuff that was easier back then but i don't crave that stuff much

[khufiya-khaufnak-antariksh]

WIP

[unproduciblesmackdown]

Do you have any kleinsen headcanons? I am very curious

oh man like....i don't have any Hard And Fast inflexible ideas really, because at any given moment i'm probably thinking about like nineteen different what-if's or AUs or such that would technically contradict each other lol........but i just have like, limitless thoughts about kleinsen in general

also i'm not at all good at answering anything that's very general despite the fact that being sent an ask as an excuse to say anything i want about kleinsen or anything else i like is the absolute ideal and thank you and so i'm gonna try to like, actually Access all these infinite ideas and put some of them into words and not totally disappoint myself and others here

jared's crush on evan is either mostly concurrent with or has a bit of a head start on his long-unfolding Gay Awakening, which just makes grappling with both more difficult and makes it take longer for him to first even understand it and then try to resign himself to it and then move towards accepting/embracing it.....he's definitely ahead of evan in terms of understanding his own sexuality though, because evan's had more of the tendency to harbor longtime crushes on somebody, which means he doesn't really have to like, reflect on the issue. jared has definitely had Gay Thoughts since basically forever and like, has maybe had other lil crushes on guys besides evan, but his evan crush is like The Big One and the one that won't go away cuz uh oh they're friends and together a lot

evan's laptop used to be jared's and he gave it to evan after getting a newer one from some relation for his bday or hanukkah or what have you. he was real casual about it obvs

speaking of, neither of them really have a taste for birthday parties or anything, in part cuz neither of them have ever had many (or at times any) other friends, and in part also b/c evan gets nervous re: prolonged social demand and is a constant at both his own and any of jared's bday Acknowledgments, so really it just tends to be like, Going Out For An Evening And Doing Something Special With Your Parent/s And Also Maybe Your One Friend and that sort of deal. like going to a concert or a movie or some event at the nearest Big-ish City and stuff. jared always feels like he has to like, prove himself with any gifts he gives evan, and sort of agonizes over getting evan something he knows he'll actually really like, but not seem over-the-top in terms of being too expensive or too sentimental or anything. and when evan reacts well and is all grateful and shit jared is at once trying really to act all "oh you like it? cool yeah w/e" and is also obviously super pleased and relieved because now he can feel confident for a while that evan likes him. for the most part evan doesn't really get jared things because ever since the elementary school times his bdays have been No Gifts affairs re: anyone who isn't family, and this was again specifically b/c jared's family knows finances were an issue for the hansens and evan was pretty much jared's best friend by default if nothing else so like, for good measure it was just always made clear like oh don't send him over with anything, seriously. on occasion though in say middle school / early high school times, evan has gotten hold of something or made something for jared that's kind of like, deliberately humorous, but also something he'd still genuinely enjoy. even if it's like, a family-size box of cheezits or some shit

they both have like, Friendship Memorabilia re: each other in their bedrooms, including photos of when they were younger and stuff. they both keep at least some of this post-gfy

jared likes to cook for evan as another kind of gesture that he knows isn't necessarily going to come across as an emotional or loving one. evan likes to cook in general, but he's not very good at it, b/c it's not exactly like heidi often had the chance to teach him or anything. whereas jared is pretty good. so he'll say he's hungry and then make a meal for the both of them. or sometimes he'll pull something like, go on a snack run or show up with them and deliberately leave them with evan. one time his parents were gone for the weekend and jared made a shitload of matzo ball soup for fuckin kicks and drove real slow over to the hansens with half of it in a stockpot strapped into the passenger seat and was all "i made soup and i'm bored and i'm here can i stay"

they both get pretty good grades because they have nothing better to do than their homework, but for a while evan wondered why jared did so decently in school because whenever they hung out to do homework together, jared would tend to be distracted easily / take impromptu breaks for a while / ask evan if he got what ___ was about or complained about it all generally. in reality jared mostly was always just trying to make the occasion more social and also stall for time so that it was more likely to become a situation in which they have a sleepover because it's late enough that that's just easier

jared also definitely has at least one playlist about his crush on evan, if only an informal one that's a mental playlist of songs he likes to listen to when he's pining hard

that thing where if one of them cries the other starts crying is true

which, also, evan has seen jared cry before, even sometimes when jared was the one to start crying on his own

re: how once jared's crush on evan started to also become entangled in his gay awakening things get kind of rough sometimes—there's definitely been at least one moment of fleeting physical contact which has made his feelings for evan That Much More difficult to mistake/ignore. evan's using a chair as a stepstool and asks for jared's help to not die while he's doing it and so jared has to stand there and hold evan by the waist for 14 seconds and it is a jolt to the system and he really doesn't know how to process or handle how much of an emotional impact this kind of shit has

they've ended up leaving clothes at each other's places and forgetting them there for so long that the other just ends up wearing it as their own at some point

i don't think that jared having a crush on evan is the only reason they probably got more distant in high school than they had been previously but i do think it sure did contribute. jared got to the point he would consciously fantasize about kissing evan and no way does he know how to deal with that; initially he also is kind of scared by that b/c evan's pretty much the first guy he's attracted to in a self-aware sort of way in that he's like "oh this is like, gay" rather than sort of feeling this desire for intimacy as something more vague and indefinable

by senior year evan is starting to sort of be aware of maybe having similar feelings towards jared, but a) the moments in which he's conscious with it are pretty fleeting in part because he pushes it away and b) he doesn't really have to think on it anyways because he has this other crush to focus on and c) it's not like jared's come out to him so he's not exactly aware of how jared feels, yet at times he kind of picks up on something even if he doesn't fully process what exactly this vibe is that he gets from their interactions every now and then

heidi definitely has wondered at various points if jared and evan were going to end up dating / if either of them had a crush on the other

jared didn't cry immediately when evan told him he was dating zoe, but he did get around to it within like twelve hours at most lol......kind of tears of frustration b/c a lot of the feelings he had were being processed into anger at the situation

jared also definitely had, like, an ongoing breakdown for several days after the gfy fight, like, able to function decently and everything but only getting through the schoolday by being super emotionally checked out besides a simmering defensive frustration, and then when he's back home he's more like. shutting himself away and crying and shit.

speaking of that, @nothingunrealistic was pointing out how it's likely that gfy happens before the upcoming weekend which jared is inviting evan over for underage drinking, and how it'd be possible that in a sort of manifestation of bitterness jared just underage drinks on his own on this kind of slow-motion weekendlong bender because he's miserable and being drunk is just making him more prone to these Even More Utter Emotional Collapses

and like for the following weeks it's real Depression Time more than usual and he's fairly on edge and irritable and occasionally having another private emotional collapse

their first kiss probably follows a lottttt of talking and probably some arguing and definitely a shitload of finally directly discussing actual emotions they have, but it's also fun to imagine scenarios in which their first kiss just kind of Happens To Happen without a slow approach. i don't think either of them would try to go for a kiss basically apropos of absolutely nothing, but i think if someone was going to suddenly push the Mood towards the possibility of kissing, it would be semi-spontaneous and it would most likely be jared who's going for it. and in the very last seconds they would be all up in each other's personal space and inching closer but there would very definitely be these little and very deliberate hesitations along the way in which they wait to see if the other is going to shove them away or show disgust or anything. but then when they do kiss they are both very into it

in the scenario that they kiss after a lot of talking and probably arguing and discussing actual emotions, they're definitely either already crying when they kiss or they start crying in the middle of the kiss, but they are both very into it and it goes on for a long time and it is also very much an embrace

when they're finally talking about their feelings and shit jared is the first to admit he loves evan but he can't bring himself to directly admit to having a crush on him, but evan brings it up because it's basically already just that fuckin obvious. brings it up gently though cuz he does Know jared and knows that even if they're getting real with each other, it's an extra sensitive matter and also like. for his own sake he wants to talk about it gently lol he's not about to feel like "oh yeah jared totally is in love with me" and jared's not about to feel like evan wants jared to love him or could be in love with him back

when he's comfortable and around someone he's comfortable with, evan actually tells jokes sometimes, and he's always really enjoyed whenever he makes jared laugh for real

jared really likes sustained contact like........he enjoys stuff like maybe having his hair played with a bit or evan running his thumb over the back of his hand but like, he only likes it for a limited period of time / when it gradually slows down and stills......he likes getting to be touched for like, a quarter of an hour or more, but prefers for it to just be like, a hold, an arm across his shoulders, evan's legs across his lap, that kind of thing, nothing too fidgety cuz half the time that ends up making him nervous or at least distracted by it but not in the way he'd like

jared will sometimes engage in a running joke in which he sings along with songs just so he can change the lyrics from "heaven" to "evan." e.g. "two lovers entwined pass me by and evan knows i'm miserable now" or what's this ella fitzgerald record doing here uh oh i'm putting it on here we go and "evan, i'm in evan, and my heart beats so that i can hardly speak" and meanwhile evan just calmly entreats him to please stop. he does like when jared sings tho. jared is Into music and most of the time that just means listening to it a lot but also he can get really into it and dance and/or sing along and evan enjoys this. it is even more difficult to get evan to the point of wanting to do the same, but sometimes its possible, and he's more likely to if it's to mess around n have fun w jared

jared really really appreciates affection..............on the other end from that prolonged steady contact thing, he'll also enjoy shit like getting kissed 54 times all across the face and arms. in terms of the kinds of physical affection he'll show, he also gravitates to the slower / softer side of things......he can tend to be pretty emotional with it also, cuz it's still easier to express himself nonverbally / with gestures than words sometimes......when you spend however long trying to keep yourself from voicing your own real feelings and shit, it takes a while to figure out how to Not do that......

they'd also have to talk about the contents of The Letter and would also definitely do that whenever they were first talking again. jared would have these two main reasons to be upset, the first being the obvious one, the second that the letter makes it sound like evan either didn't think of him and jared as being friends in any way shape or form or that like, he just entirely forgot jared's existence or something, and considering that jared felt like evan swept him aside once he didn't need him for Practical Purposes anymore, that would be a concern for him anyways. like evan might think that jared doesn't care a lot about him but tbh i think jared was dealing with that same concern re: evan too. and then also re the obvious Big Issue about the letter, its not hard to imagine jared would become a little bit more protective of evan once he got confirmation of what it was all about. "confirmation" because it's also not hard to imagine jared might be able to Suspect as soon as he read it after it was first posted, really

they both like to go outside at night sometimes for impromptu informal dates / just quality time together....sometimes that means going on a run at like 2am to gas station just to like get oreos or some drink they both want and just having a blast and making each other laugh a lot, sometimes it's more Peaceful like let's lay in the grass and stargaze or some shit

evan's the first to break out the serious "i love you." this is also one of those middle of the night occurrences but they're both awake enough that evan knows jared knows what he's saying and knows that he means it

it's 3:25am rn lord.......................so yeah that's uh several ideas. of course i could go on