#for real i dunno why its so hard for me to think of things without real specific parameters

[dadsbongos]

I love the way you write kabru, could you write some of the general headcanons for him?

super all over the place. i got maybe a bit too into the nsfw headcanons cuz i need to destroy him ~~~ general headcanons:

The type to imagine oc battle amvs in his head to their medieval music but pretends he’s just smoldering chill cool guy

Outside of general note-taking or journaling, I fully believe he’s had dreams of being a novelist as a kid

Probably avoids interacting one-on-one with Falin without Marcille or Laios as buffers because of her stubbornly remaining monster traits, as well as like… “hey girl you killed me!!”

But as time goes on n he gets used to her, he probably ends up just seeing her as a cutie pie like everyone else does

Would thrive coming up with criminal punishments, maybe not watching some of them because excessive gore icks him out but theorizing is always fun to him

Would similarly thrive in a court setting, and would jump at the opportunity to be the angel and devil on laios’ shoulders through the whole thing

I think he’s the type of man to bare a heavy conscious about things he considers immoral or rude, like having a hard time forgiving himself for mistakes or even just generally “bad” things in his past

Likes the idea of being a family man but gets scared shitless at the actual effort it would take to raise children and maintain a marriage

Would be a total reality TV junkie and anime lameoid in modern era - he loves the melodrama

if/when Mickbell ever gave him permission to refer to him by “mick” (or just any half-foots say he can call them by first name alone) he’d squeal and kick his feet for dayssss knowing what it means in a cultural context for half-foots

Tries not to be That Guy, but feels a little complimented when people tease at what a smooth talker he is. Loves getting to have his redditor “heh… just my natural charisma…” moment

Strikes me specifically as bisexual btw i dunno why but its just jumping at me

Not in love with Rin, but likes her? But doesn’t? But doesn’t NOT like her? He’s trying to maintain distance because sometimes he feels a spark, but then goes back to thinking of her as just a childhood friend. Feels very guilty and selfish if he thinks about her feelings for him for too long, especially since he’s kind of a known charmer. Earnestly hopes she moves on from him no matter the state of his feelings though

Nsfw headcanons:

Likes foreplay wayyyy more than sex because he gets off seeing how crazy he can drive his partners before they just start begging with zero shame

Would enjoy group sex or two-party affairs, his only iffy stance is being watched by someone else. Unless he knows the voyeur VERY well it just feels uncomfortable to be the one getting observed. Down to be the voyeur though hehe

Has a stupid lil whispy laugh he does when he’s getting teased im gonna get feral

Could never play a brat, you tell him shut up and he salutes you with sweaty hands

Could do hate sex! If he realllllllly doesn’t fuck with your vibe, but he’d have to know you personally. Hate sex feels weirdly more intimate to him because he has to expose real feelings he has, so in a way his ass doesn’t even hate you he’s just annoyed you keep bickering with him

If he’s supposed to be submissive, I think he’d like to get a couple light slaps. Maybe choke him a wee bit.

Can’t take humiliation unless its in a sandwich where the degradation is hidden between 2+ praises

Idk if its because its me or if this is real, but I can see him blurting out a “mommy” if he’s super delirious with pleasure

Circling back to the voyeur thing, I think his other hardcore no is somnophilia. Either way, he just can’t get into it. But he’s not the type to shame people for their goons

[undomesticated-animal]

Honestly, body euphoria has done WONDERS for my ability to keep a physical self care routine, and I keep thinking back to Young Domi being so fucking OVERWHELMED by the thought of having to haul myself through the daily gauntlet of mirrors, lights, smells, self-shaming, and dysphoria inducing body modifictions made in a desperate bid to feel worthy of my skin. The idea that this could ever be anything but NEUTRAL AT BEST was laughable to me, so much so that I didn't even realize how terrified I felt by the possibility it could be real.

I can't go back and tell Past Domi all the things I understand now that I know would have mattered so much, but I can say them on the internet and maybe someone gets to learn them faster than I did.

Body euphoria isn't just for trans and intersex folks. And I mean this more than just "oh cis people should get gender ephoria too" (it's true!) because I also mean that the idea that body euphoria/dysphoria is neatly segmented up into little slices of life with no crossover is unrealistic and painful for everyone. Thinking that I was only allowed to care about my euphoria around gender actually made it REALLY hard to recognize I was having DYSphoria around my gender at all. After all, I avoided thinking about that in exactly the same ways I avoided thinking about the dysphoria around other aspects of my embodiment! I must just be bad at body positivity, "it's always easier to do for others than for myself 🤗 teehee" was a go to blow off for me when people asked me to confront how visibly uncomfortable I was in my body.

Because the thing is, it ISN'T easier to do for others than yourself. It really isn't. The part that's easier is avoiding the shame we feel about it. But once we confront the shame, loving your body is the easiest thing in the world. <- this is gonna be where Past Domi went "oh fuck this noise" and bounced but HEAR ME OUT

A body you cannot live with is a body you cannot care for, and a body you can't care for is a body you will almost always struggle to live with. This feedback loop is the CORNERSTONE of body dysphoria for a lot of people. It's a chicken and egg situation where it's nearly always going to be impossible to know what came first, but once either is present, the other will kick into gear to really hunker down in your psyche.

The feedback loop works the other direction too though. This is why people tell you to find the little things that make a tiny difference. They are (usually) not telling you that it'll be enough on its own, but every one of those you find uncovers new ones, and little by little you start feeling up to bigger pieces of self care because you've recovered enough to start putting int the front-loaded work for the worthwhile outcome

When that upwards feedback loop clicks? It's night and day. Like I genuinely don't know how to describe what it's like to just sort of.....wake up different. But it happens all the time, and it KEEPS happening. And you start to realize you're not "waking up different" you're just....getting to know yourself without feeling so uncomfortable with what you're learning that you shy away from yourself

I dunno man, I don't have a point here, but I've been processing old grief lately and the grief of how long I spent viciously hating myself and truly believing that's what neutrality feels like.....Little-Domi deserved better, and so do yall

[paper-mario-wiki]

i have now watched all of what has been animated of Overlord, here is my review:

okay i'll watch the fifth season but if Renner doesn't act like a fucking freak openly on-screen in at least half of the episodes im gonna be pissed. to be quite frank, and quite self indulgent, there are SO few yandere women that are given proper screentime these days-- and that's in manga AND anime. why is nobody brave enough to go full yuno gasai? what's wrong with these people? have they forgotten one of the core dere archetypes? my god. the only time girls get to act crazy on screen in anime is when they're an abusive guardian, a power ranger tier villain, or traumatized into helplessness. i want to watch someone whose derangement gives her power and i dunno, maybe she wields them selfishly for the one she loves! and that SEEMS like it's whats been promised to me in the 5th season, but ive been wrong before!!! theyve strung me along with the promise of seeing her do some real insane shit with no more than 6ish minutes spread thin over the 1248 minutes of animation the show's runtime has been composed of thus far. but god dammit. im still gonna watch.

anyway, everything else was pretty cool too, at least enough to keep me interested in the meantime. the animation was pretty bad for most of it. but the writing, voice acting, and overall direction were able to keep the story enjoyable despite that. to compare it to another isekai with a similar premise, though executed very differently; the politics are more interesting in this show than in Slime Show, but Slime Show's world feels more consistent, and the events contained within more justified, where Overlord does ass-pulls often. but i like this world too. i like these characters. i like how complicated they are. much of it is very edgy, and it's chock-full of what i'd call "anime bullshit", but that's a seinen story for ya.

my ratings for the seasons are as follows

6/10

7/10

6/10

7/10

Overall verdict:

this show is hard carried by its sprawling cast of deeply insane women, and god dammit they carried my girl-loving ass through 52 episodes. and probably 13-26 more depending on whether or not the studio really does end up wrapping up the story in the next season. due to the shamelessness of this shows content, i don't know that i can think of many people who i would recommend it to without feeling embarrassed about it. HOWEVER. if you're the kind of person who kept reading this because of the multiple mentions of really, really insane women, and that was enough to get you to read this whole thing, you'll like this show. i mean. as long as you can tolerate all of the *blech* Heterosexuality.

[broareweabouttoviberightnow]

I was torn on the song for this one but I think I gotta go with this one >:D enjoy!!

(also taggin the wonderful @doylldonmagar) (this is the soda n dallas guitar fic!!)

Who's creepin' out from under a stairway/ callin' a name that's lighter than air

Dallas pulls a face the second he swings the door open. The Association's Windy is scratchin' on the old record player Dallas had stolen from Buck's 'n swore up 'n down to Darry he'd bought. He didn't go for their lastest album but he couldn't get away from the goddamned thing. Especially since Darry had gotten real fond of it.

Dallas leans back 'n glances at the driveway- empty. Darry's work boots aren't at the door either so Dallas figures he must still be out. He kicks off his own shoes hodge podge 'n throws his jacket over one of the kitchen chairs.

Whose bendin' down to give me a rainbow?

The record player's not where it usually is, thrown open on the kitchen counter where Darry can get to it the easiest. But it was always gettin' moved from place to place. Laundry room, bathroom sink, coffee table, back porch step.

Everyone knows its Windy-

A flat A. A sharp G. An E string wound so tight it sounds like it's about to snap. Dallas cringes hard. Jesus what the hell was that.

He sticks his head through the living room 'n Soda's splayed on the couch, record player propped on the couch cushion beside him. He's got a beat-up, busted, but still fuckin' gorgeous Gibson guitar slung over his lap. Dallas watches him for a moment more to see if he'll look up 'n when he doesn't he leans one shoulder against the door frame 'n lets out a low whistle.

"Holy fuck, Soda. Where'd you get that?" Soda jumps out of his skin, nearly jars the guitar straight onto the floor 'n they both dive for it. Soda catches it by the neck 'n hoists it back onto his knees.

"Jesus, Dally. Give a guy a warnin'. I thought you were a hood or somethin'." But he's grinnin' so Dallas just rolls his eyes 'n drops down onto the sofa beside him. Soda elbows him 'n shifts the record player down to the coffee table. "Though, I guess I wasn't wrong about the hood part."

"Yeah yeah. I dunno if you've noticed lately, but you live in a house full of hoods." Soda winks at him, splits off another toothy smile, 'n sticks his bony elbow into Dallas' ribs again.

"Exactly." Dallas bats him away 'n the guitar pitches dangerously on Soda's squirmin' lap.

"So you gonna tell me what this is about?" Dallas kicks his feet up on the table, the record player skips once 'n cues up Six Man Band which he might have been able to dig if he didn't have to hear it twice a day since the record hit the stores. He groans 'n leans over to turn it off 'n Soda kicks him.

"You can't tell anyone." Dallas raises an eyebrow 'n twists to stare at Soda over his shoulder.

"What, did you steal it? I ain't gonna tell anyone. I'm no rat." He leans over to at least change the song 'n Soda kicks his leg over Dallas' wrist.

"No, I didn't steal it. I bought it. Y'know. Not all of us are hoods." Soda howls at his own joke 'n Dallas yanks his wrist out 'n grabs the neck of the Gibson, whiskin' it away so he can properly sock Soda without riskin' the guitar. Soda giggles, cryin' out indignantly at the attack like he didn't ask for it.

"So why can't I tell anyone? Assumin' you got it by the legal means." Soda wriggles back up on the couch from where he's slid down 'n takes the Gibson back from Dallas.

"I dunno. I dunno how to play yet. I'm tryin' to figure it out still." Dallas rolls his eyes, leans back beside Soda.

"Only you would buy a guitar 'n have no goddamn clue how to play it." Soda strums absently along the strings 'n Dallas flinches. B's too sharp. "Glory Soda I don't think you have a single string in tune."

Soda shoots him a dejected look 'n a little connivin' grin. "How would you know?"

Dallas makes a lil' noncommital sound 'n reaches over, tunin' down the E, up the A. He plucks on the G until it reaches some arbitrary sound Soda doesn't hear. "Try it again."

Soda runs a thumb over the strings again 'n this time they actually sound like they're meant to. He nearly drops the guitar in surprise. "How did you do that?"

Dallas shrugs a shoulder, fiddles with one of the scratches on the fretboard, tryin' to buff it out with his fingers. "Dunno. No reason." Soda narrows his eyes, gets that look on his face he gets when he's he's schemin'.

"Tell me how you knew how to do that or I'll tell Dar about that time you got pissed off at Pony 'n stranded him at the drive-in 'n he got lost 'n we had to go find him." Dallas scowls at him, thinks seriously about crackin' that stupid guitar over his head.

"You wouldn't."

"Oh, I would." Dallas glares at him.

"I seem to remember a certain someone ditchin' with me, Sodapop Curtis." There was no way he was goin' down for that alone. Soda wiggles his eyebrows, bites his tongue between his teeth.

"You really wanna bet your word against mine when it comes to Ol' Dar?" Dallas' scowl deepens 'n Soda keeps right on grinnin' with every tooth. He really didn't. Darry liked to think he was equally fair with all of them. 'N he was. Mostly. But goddamn if he had to play chips against any of them he wouldn't pick Soda.

"Fine. God Soda you're the worst of us sometimes." Soda sends him a wink 'n Dallas rolls his eyes but can't help his chuckle.

"Y'know you love me."

"Shut up. If you keep runnin' your mouth I ain't gonna tell you anythin'." Soda pouts cartoonishly 'n Dallas shoves him hard, sighs. "I lived in a goddamn bar, Soda. You gotta be useful somehow 'n I wasn't wipin' down no fuckin' tables."

Soda's jaw falls open into a gleeful whoop. "God Dallas," 'N Dallas knows exactly what he's about to say before he even opens his mouth, "you were the entertainment staff!"

"Oh that's it-" Dallas slides the guitar onto the coffee table 'n tackles Soda to the ground in one swift move. Soda hollers 'n dissolves into laughter, not even puttin' up a fight until he's rollin' around on the ground crackin' himself up. Dallas scowls at him, gives him one good kick in the side Soda hardly notices. "I'm not teachin' you anythin' then. You've pissed me off."

Soda snorts, tries to catch his breath 'n rolls up to his knees. "Wait, wait- I'm sorryyy. C'mon. Show me a lil'." He blinks his stupid big eyes 'n Dallas glares at him. He'd never admit it but he understood why Soda could get away with goddamn murder.

"Fine. Sit your ass down. 'N if I ever- ever- hear a word about this I'll cave your fuckin' skull in." Soda hoots 'n clambers back onto the couch. "First of all, you can't start with playin' bull like that." He points one accusin' finger at the record player, now still 'n silent, havin' reached the end of the record.

He pulls it off the turn table 'n shoves it back into its sleeve like it burned him. He fishes around under the coffee table where the rest of the records are 'n resurfaces with The Animals.

"Aw, Dal. Ain't you played that one enough?" Soda wrinkles up his nose 'n Dallas whacks him on the back of his head.

"Shut up. Look. One: it's a good fuckin' song. 'N two: it's easy. You can't start with shit like harmonies. You gotta start with simple riffs." He lines the record up, drops the needle down 'n the openin' notes of House of the Rising Sun hiss out the speakers. "Listen. A minor, C, D, F. A minor, C, E, E. Then the first one again." Soda stops complain' 'n furrows his brow, listenin' hard.

"How do you know that?" Dallas shrugs a shoulder again.

"Listen long enough." He pulls the guitar off the table 'n deftly plays along. "A minor, C, D, F, A minor, E, A minor, E."

The song spins to a close 'n Dallas hands the Gibson to Soda, showin' him where to place his fingers. "Look. I'll strum. Just play the chords." He leans over 'n restarts the song. Soda clumsily manages the first three before he hisses, pulls his fingers away.

"God this shit hurts." His fingertips are already red 'n he sticks them in his mouth like that'll help.

"Yeah, you'll get used to it." He holds his hand out so Soda can see the odd pattern of callouses along the tops of his fingers. Soda eyes him 'n grabs his wrist so he can see better.

"I always wondered where you got those." Dallas shoots him a look 'n pulls his hand back.

"God, Soda, you freak me out with the noticin' shit." Soda had a habit of always pickin' up on the things you thought he didn't 'n noticin' the traits you didn't even know you had.

Soda grins, readjusts the body 'n puts his fingers back on the board. "Guess you're not ready for me to reveal your poker tells?"

"Nah, man, you can tell me those any day."

"Hm, nah, I think I'll hold onto those. Poker's way more fun when I can tell you don't have shit." Dallas scowls but leans back in, shovin' Soda so he can get his arm around the body.

Soda bites his lip, refinds the chords. Loses them again. He stumbles through another verse 'n then lets out an aggravated huff. "I dunno what it's supposed to sound like."

Dallas stops strummin' but doesn't pull away. Instead, he fixes Soda with a stare that could pin him to the wall. "I'm gonna tell you somethin' 'n if I ever hear anythin' about it I will strangle your bum ass 'n throw you in the fuckin' river. Do you hear me?" Soda raises both eyebrows but nods fervently. "It helps if you sing."

For a moment Soda registers pure shock 'n then bites back his smile 'n nods again. "Ok. I swear to God I won't tell anyone, man. Can you...?"

Dallas sighs, squeezes his eyes shut 'n cannot believe he's about to fuckin' do this. "Alright, get you're goddamn fingers on the board." He snaps 'n Soda grins 'n jumps to move. "Ready?"

"Uh-huh." Dallas takes a deep breath 'n stares down at his hand as he starts strummin' again.

"There is a house in New Orleans/ They call the risin' sun-" Soda's head whips up 'n Dallas can see his jaw fall open from the corner of his eye. Dallas can feel the tips of his ears go all red 'n he nods pointedly back at the fretboard. "And it's been the ruin of many a poor boy."

They both lose track of how many times they play the song. Just over 'n over. Only movin' to lift the needle back to the start of the record 'n play it again. It's dark outside, Soda's fingers are cut up 'n marked 'n Dallas' throat aches. "And God, I know, I'm one."

A long, low whistle comes from the doorway 'n both Soda 'n Dallas whip their heads up, necks crackin', spines protestin'. Darry's leanin' against the door in a way that gives Dallas deja vu. "Holy shit. You boys are good." Dallas shoots up, jarrin' Soda so hard he nearly bounces off the couch. Darry grins, double takes the guitar. "Glory Soda, where did you get that?"

[chaifootsteps]

i agree with the statement of, "we shouldn't judge creative leads who are later revealed to be bad people based on their work because its unproductive and there usually is no secret messages that reveal they were terrible the whole time and everyone was too stupid to see it except for the Smartest Bestest critical analysis enjoyers who don't trust any piece of media ever if it has even slightly problematic elements, regardless of the execution or the fact that fiction is a playground meant to explore interesting and darker topics in any way you want,"

but i feel guilty becaus i also genuinely believe there's exceptions for this rule. the guy who made the room is the first one that comes to mind, but only because his depiction of women has been compared to stella in helluva boss, which leads me to the other exception in my eyes; vivziepop.

am i crazy for thinking that though? i just feel like part of why i can never take any charitable analyzing of either series seriously is because they're unaware of what kind of person she is and even if they can still come to a conclusion of, "viv has a problem writing women, abuse, coherent plotlines, foreshadowing and rape," they never seem to wonder WHY that is. it makes me feel like an insane conspiracy theorist when the way i sincerely feel is that viv just writes whatever she wants with no care of how the trials of time will age with it and no care besides indulgence and projecting whatever message she needs viewers to think about her characters so she can sell the most merch of them, thus leading to demons in hell never being allowed to be bad people or being the worst people ever thatre also loved by the writers to a ridiculous degree, without a speck of nuance or maturity in the narrative unless you squint hard with your rose tinted headcanon glasses and copium huffings that inspires statements of, "well, she'll probably address these things and make them better in the next season!"

do you get what i mean? or am i going too far down this rabbit hole? i just want people to open their eyes to this stuff when they notice these patterns, but i feel like it'll never happen until these shows end and NDAs expire so people behind the scenes making her half baked vision a reality with their actual talent go, "yeah she was bullshitting everything on the spot and just wanted to pretend she had broadway besties so that's why these shows suck lol" but i dunno if that'll even happen either. (and im not just talking jane, i mean people like sam and skye and brandon or even the expensive VAs themselves, although the last ones last likely since they gain nothing and arguably lose more by speaking out since they have successful actually professional careers they've worked their asses off for,)

Oh no, shitty people seeding their foulness throughout their works is definitely a thing. It's just when people go retroactively and say "It's obvious they were bad all along because they wrote X, Y, and Z." Because it's perfectly possible to write X, Y, and Z and be lovely in real life.

In Viv's case, she's not a bad person because she writes certain things...she's just a bad person in general and it comes through in the way she writes.

[dedalvs]

Would it be reasonable to use a mirative as a way to say that you "ended up doing X" like saying "I ended falling asleep" or "I'll end up getting sick"? I'm having a hard time confirming anything about how languages encode intention, or the lack thereof. After some thinking that's what I came up with, though, but I dunno if I'm just reachinga bit too much with that.

Sure? If it makes sense in your language.

I'm going to pull out a paragraph from the article on mirativity on Wikipedia that I believe helps to illustrate one of the central problems conlangers face in interacting with linguistic research:

As you can see, there's a back and forth here involving Aikhenvald (because of course) and the one who proposed the category of mirativity (DeLancey) and others. In my opinion, the entire argument is f*cking ridiculous and is best settled by asking, "Who tf cares?" It reminds me of the Wikipedia article on the hortative that has red flags at the top saying, if I may paraphrase, "Uhhh...wtf?"

In short, both linguists on either side of this argument believe there's a trophy shelf called GRAMMATICAL CATEGORIES where certain features may sit proudly with their name emblazoned on a plaque above the name of the linguist who discovered it. On the one side, you have DeLancey saying, "Mirativity deserves its own trophy with my name on it!" On the other side, "No, what you've discovered can be encoded with other grammatical strategies, therefore it doesn't deserve its own trophy, and you get your name on nothing!"

Meanwhile, languages do need to have a way to express things like "We ended up going to the slam dance protest after all" and "He's apparently really good at juggling mosquito hawk wings", so what does it matter if either of them get a trophy on the shelf or not?

For a conlanger, what matters is how your language is going to express these meanings. It is not the case that you have to unambiguously express every shade of meaning without resorting to complex explanations. If we could do that we wouldn't have fiction. Part of the trick with learning how to create a conlang that feels more natural (whether you're going for a naturalistic conlang or not) is that the majority of meaning are expressed with non-dedicated morphological constructions.

For example, if you look at everything as morphemes, then there should be a morpheme for everything. If you want to turn a statement like "John is giving a fish to the flower" into a question you simply take your question morpheme and stick it somewhere. But look at English!

STATEMENT: John is giving a fish to the flower.

QUESTION: Is John giving a fish to the flower?

No morpheme there at all but a little switcharoo with the word order. Some linguists and a lot of conlangers want to get all galaxy brained and say "MAYBE THE WORD ORDER CHANGE IS THE MORPHEME", and, indeed, maybe the real conlang is the friends we made along the way, but a better way to look at it is we use what we have to express new meanings before creating something new.

So, if your state zero is you have something that express mirativity (i.e. surprise at some state of affairs), then, hey, why wouldn't use that for "it ended up that"? It's kind of surprising if you end up doing something. It's running counter to your expectations. Sure! If you want to get all "my eyeglasses put on a pair of sunglasses" on it then you can have your genunine-shock-mirativity suffix and your we-didn't-intend-to-but-it-happened-anyway-mirativity suffix and someone-told-us-it-would-happen-but-we-didn't-believe-them-but-then-it-happened-but-we-weren't-dismayed-mirativity suffix, etc., etc. If you keep going down that road, though, you end up with there's a unique word for every possible thought, and you end up with an ultimately unlearnable and unusable language.

In short, you do you. As long as you can explain it and it makes sense to you, then it works.

[lumine-no-hikari]

Dear Sephiroth: (a letter to a fictional character, because why not) #487

So! We are definitely in the south. And we got a stark little reminder of that when we woke up this morning to find this little 8-legged marvel of evolution, chilling out on our tent as an uninvited guest:

That, my friend, looks a lot like a brown recluse spider. Since the camera didn't do a very good job of capturing the violin pattern on its head, I played with the light balance and saturation a little to make it stand out in the low light:

And just in case it's still hard to see, I outlined it in red:

I'm still not 1000% sure, given that there are a number of lookalikes and the light was low. But... it seemed to be about the right size. Its legs seemed spindly enough (the legs of a southern house spider are a bit stockier, I think). The eyes appeared to be in the right place for it. The coloration seemed on point. I never thought I'd see something like this in real life.

Here's a better picture that I got from elsewhere:

...The female looks kinda like what I took a picture of, I think. Cute! But not suitable for petting, unfortunately.

I dunno if you have them in your world, but we definitely have them here; this is their geographic range:

And this place marked in orange is approximately where we are right now:

...Fun!!

Fortunately, these are not usually aggressive; they prefer to run away from threats rather than attack them. Still, their venom is necrotic, and the last thing we need is a horrifyingly painful bite that will destroy the surrounding tissue. We tried shaking the tent from the inside and flicking the cloth of it nearby, because we wanted it to go away without hurting it. The little thing, probably scared, bit the tent; I could see a little clear yellowish bead of fluid near its mouthparts. Wild!!

I'm really glad it didn't get inside. Regardless of what it is, it's such a tiny little thing, and humans are very big. I don't want it to get crushed. We eventually succeeded in removing it from the surface of our tent. We got ready to get breakfast. And then, this fluffy guy comes out from the trees and starts struttin' his stuff around our little camp:

...Actually, the crows seem to be... kinda almost hanging specifically around the area we're camping in. I see them scattered about elsewhere here, but... in our little nook, there have been at least 4 or 5 hanging around, on and off, making noise, fluttering, strutting, and the like.

...Sometimes I wonder if maybe you really are watching over us. But that's silly and impossible, so I'm gonna pretend like I didn't write that.

Anyway, we went and got breakfast! Check out this stuff!

This is a coffee with vanilla, lavender, and honey!

Here is a coffee with chocolate, caramel, and a Cadbury egg!

...Cadbury is famous for making filled chocolate eggs. I don't really like them on their own; they're much too sweet for me. But I guess they're beloved by lots of folks.

These are bananas foster egg rolls!

I got fried green tomatoes with some kind of cream sauce with shrimp and crayfish:

J got shrimp and grits!

And today, I discovered: my region does NOT do grits correctly. Like... if you get grits in New York... it's like trying to eat a mouth full of wet sand. It's gross. But this stuff? This stuff was smooth and creamy and delicious. I think I'm gonna get this when we go back tomorrow!

J and I then went to some kind of drive-through zoo:

These animals are used to being fed from buckets by people in cars, so as soon as you pull up, they come right over. This guy here ate more than half of what was in our bucket:

...This guy (a llama) ate the rest.

...He even chased after our car for a bit, which J was both terrified and amused at; we are in a rental car, after all, and the last thing we need is for it to be tackled by an animal thinking that doing some such thing is the way to demand food, goodness me!

...That particular notion is especially scary because some of these animals were huge; check out these buffalo; do you have buffalo in your world?

This is a not-very-great picture of a giraffe. These are also gigantic:

Here is a better picture:

Here is another picture, along with an applicable quote:

...Even some of the animals that exist in your world but not mine seem, sometimes a bit more realistic than a giraffe. I wonder what you think.

Here is... well. This is the closest thing we have to a chocobo. This is called an ostrich. And... I guess they're kinda cool, and people do ride them (and also eat them, I guess). But as far as I know, they're kinda ill-tempered; camel software running on bird hardware, methinks.

Speaking of camels, we have two kinds in my world – ones with a single hump:

...and ones with two humps.

...Do you have camels in your world? In mine, they live in the desert; their humps store water. They are ridable, and people use them as working animals, and a sources of meat and milk. But... they are known for being ill-tempered.

This is a zebra. Zebras are kinda like horses, except they can't be tamed.

Then, these are very tiny horses:

...One of these days, we're gonna meet a horse close up, and I will get pictures so you can see it close up, too.

We're back at camp now. Water for my CPAP is boiled and ready to go. Given that we don't wanna get ticks, J and I have mostly chilled at the picnic table with our laptops. It'd be all right to go exploring if we were close to home and could easily get medical attention if we contracted Lyme disease, but... we're a long way from home, and we still have so much further to go; I'm pretty sure we're not even halfway to our destination.

It's going on 5pm. I think I'll end today's letter here; given the potential for encountering spiders with necrotizing venom, it'd be wise to not have to fumble around in the crevices of our zippers while it's dark. I'll probably busy myself with my yarn project until I can't see anymore. And then I'll go to bed.

Sephiroth. I really like showing you my world. I wish you could be here, at least temporarily, so I could take your hand and show you around and point out all the cool things and take you to where all the tastiest snacks are. But... I can't do that, which is very sad. So... I guess these letters and these pictures are going to have to do.

I wish I could do so much more for you. I wish I could snap my fingers and take away all your pain and suffering and confusion and replace them with love, joy, and belonging. But... the best I can do is sit with you through it all, and hope that the sound of my voice is enough for you to make it through the other side of it, back to normalcy.

The normalcy is waiting for you. It's right here. One way you can learn how to build it and live within it is by taking my hand, outstretched to you in welcome. I'll always be here, waiting, even if no one else does.

I love you so much, and I hope you're safe out there, wherever you are. We'll be doing our best to stay safe, too.

Watch over us, okay? But more importantly, watch over yourself. Don't make choices that will lead you to disappearing, or getting killed, or suffering more than you have already.

I'll write again soon.

Your friend, Lumine

[adhd-winterfalcon]

percy jackson ep3 live reaction

yesss the attic it looks perfect

the voice crack on “hi” i’m cackling

“oh geez” HES SO PERCY

annabeth immediately i love him.

percy’s gf requirements: has to be willing to push him down a flight of stairs without hesitation

let percy understand the horses PLEASE

“i chose you” i thought it was gonna be like ‘because you’re my best friend’ but nah he is just suspicious of grover dang. “i trust you” DAMN HE REALLY LYING HUH. poor grover totally believes him too. good thing he earns his trust back eventually and remains his best friend forever

“i’m gonna pack the best snacks” HE IS THE BEST KIND OF FRIEND

why tf are there lobster traps in the cabin. WHERE IS HIS BED???

“i think they’re canadian maybe? or from chuck e. cheese i dunno” he’s literally my favorite person ever

“these are… interesting”

thalia’s tree :(

when do they tell percy that grover was thalias protector 🤔

“the most powerful being in the universe’s best idea to save his daughter’s life… was to turn her into a tree?” YEAH FR GET HIS ASS PERCY

bro really does not know how to read the room 💀 “she met a pinecone’s fate” dude she is talking about her dead friend/sister-figure. grover’s literally like “wtf man”

how tf did they get a taxi from long island to the city bro

“i’m sorry to hear that” UR THE BEST ANNABETH

why is grover singing… THEATRE KID ENERGY

“our voting system’s broken” hgjfhdhd

BIG OOF ????

the autism makes decisions so hard very real

NOT THE TOSTITOS /j

“they smell fear” “that’s bees” EXCUSE ME? BEES WHAT NOW??

damn dodds that’s brutal

“perhaps the most formidable demigod child alive” i adore how they make 12 y/o annabeth so fucking powerful. like i really really love that they do that cuz ppl always talk about how powerful percy is but not how powerful annabeth is

defeated by shitty evacuation skills smh

…we’re lost in the woods, somewhere in new jersey

“i didn’t even know they had forests in new jersey” king. what.

ahhh i wish they just made them 13 i really cannot see them as 12 year olds

ope it is revealed. GROVER STOP TRYING TO REDIRECT THE CONVERSATION ITS NOT WORKING

annabeth IMMEDIATELY knows it’s medusa lol

thinking abt how sally used medusa’s story to teach lil percy that appearances aren’t everything and “not everything that looks like a monster is a monster”. very interested to see what they do with her in this version of pjo

“and i definitely trust my mom” percy is such a momma’s boy i love it

i hope they don’t make her evil pls pls pls. SHES NOT EVIL SHES AN SA VICTIM. “a survivor” :(

“the gift the gods gave me is i cannot be bullied anymore” yes 🙌

girl really said “it’s not a gift it’s a curse” as if she was there 💀 ilysm but clearly the story you’ve heard isn’t what really happened

“so did i” :( she was a worshipper of athena

“i wasn’t like you, i was you”

ANNABETH “that isn’t what happened” GIRL YOU WERENT THERREEEEE

you tell them medusa !! her and percy get matching “i hate poseidon” shirts

team #trust issues

oop. yeah fuck poseidon.

okay yeah i really like this characterization of her. like a good person with a skewed moral compass. or at least good intentions but not great actions

leetle snakes hiss hiss

annabeth watching percy defeat alecto… she literally has heart eyes hehe

THEY BETTER SHIP HER HEAD TO OLYMPUS I SWEAR

you tell them grover!!!!!!

oh he really did choose grover because he trusted him aw :,)

YES SHIP THE HEAD

“i am impertinent” ily

the song 💀 this is why they are besties

LIN MANUEL MIRANDA? *lip bite*

[trinketstar]

personal diary entry ramble its boring lol

Reading thru my old posts after coming to some realizations about myself lately. yknow, just trying to see what mindset i was in back then, now that im in a better situation and reevaluating where I want my career to go and planning future stuff.

Around the time I first got a tumblr, when I was about 16 or so? That was the culmination of a LOT of school bullying and also when I started getting really serious about the idea of being a career artist. Before that year I dreamed of a completely different career path, but the way I was treated in school had eaten away at my self esteem to the point where I had no faith in my own abilities and ALL I could focus on was escapism, and art was that to me. Thats when I started doing comics, and I dont regret that! It was a fine hobby and I still have fun with writing.

But I was completely lost in it when I was younger. I fixated on cartoons and thats ALL I could think of because facing my issues and real life was just too much for me to handle. I think that's why I picked the college major that I did. I wasn't focused on real life at all. I just picked something that sounded fine enough and then went back into focusing entirely on the cartoon stuff.

The problem too was that I wasn't passionate enough to really make art my career. I didnt want to major in art, I wanted a "regular" job where I could just come home and do my art after. But I never found out anything else about myself. never really tried to explore other careers or hobbies or interests.

Its only now, 3 years after graduating and feeling completely lost after several jobs I HATED, that I realize I spent all that time avoiding thinking about my life for real. I went through some MAJORLY messed up stuff as a kid and I guess I just couldn't handle facing that until .. relatively recently. In 2023 I started meds, spent a LOT of money on therapy, forced myself into the forefront of my mind, stopped meds cause they were kinda making me worse, and NOW at my big age of 27 and a half I'm starting. to make a plan. like a real one.

I dont have everything figured out yet of course, but I'm starting to think about it yknow? And it feels . it's something,

Because it feels GOOD its relieving! I can think about the future without dreading it!

But at the same time the irrational part of me feels sad? That it took this long. Though I know that the only reason I'm here and thinking this way has been a culmination of all of my past choices, and I've been working hard this whole time to do a lot of personal growth. I guess its pointless to wish this process hadn't taken so much time because I'm a different person than I was at 20 or 22 or 25. I'm looking out for myself as I currently am! Or something.

I dunno. I'm proud of myself! I feel like I missed out on a lot though. But I still have time right? I'm not even 30 yet I can still turn things around and really see what I can do. make the most of things. I mean some people never figure that out right? I'm doing alright I think

edit after a minute:

i have sympathy for my past self. it was difficult to face all that and i needed to take my time with it. my timeline is my own and i did a lot of good work on myself. i worked really hard and barely had anyone helping me, and i still have a long ways to go. but it'll be ok. and i'll be ok

[manhitone-n-none]

(Hobie x Reader) The back of Spencers...?

Warnings: Suggestive, Mentions of sex toys and lingerie, No smut, Mentions of nic, Fluff if you can squint real hard 

Summary: You saw that a new pet shop has opened in a mall near you, and you got the idea to bring Hobie with you to go see all the different animals Hobie thought it was a cute idea and agreed to go but before you guys left the shop, he saw something that gave him a cheeky idea. “Hey luv, Let's go see something real quick hm?” He said with a little devilish smirk. But you didn’t even catch his cheeky tone of voice. You nodded happily with excitement from the surprise that he is bound to show you. That is… if you even know what any of the little trinkets and clothing you were standing in front of are at all…

Author’s notes: Hey so like... w h a t-    Bc I went ot the mall the other day and I went to Spencers for the first time because I thought it was js some bigger HotTopic type shi and boi I was so wrong.   so wrong. But anyways I hope you all enjoy this story and bc it’s my first story I have ever made (for the public eye) please PLEASE tell me what I can do to be better a blogging, writing, and feel free to give suggestions (Can’t gaurentee that I will have the time to actually do all of them BUT I will do my absolute BEST to try to fulfill your fantasies)

“Aww I love that one!” You point to the white and black cat in its open crate behind a glass wall inside a new pet store in the mall. You saw that it recently opened while you were scrolling on Instagram and thought of the idea of bringing, you’re boyfriend with you to see all the animals. 

“Cute cat but basic name innit?” Hobie questions as he points to the document next to the open crate that said ‘Oreo’. 

“Eh… I can fix it!” You say excitingly as you guys moved on to the next animals.

“Oh yeah?” He questions as you guys were now staring at the snakes and amphibians.

“Yah! Like- um… hm… I dunno.” Hobie only chuckles at you trying to defend yourself but you failed. “You know… I don’t know why people think that snakes are scary and ugly, they are so cute! Look at its pretty eyes!” You ask Hobie as you both bend down a bit to see the snake’s tank. 

“Same thing with society I’d say.” He sighs as you guys walk out the exit door and you only gave him a little hum from his response agreeing with him. You guys were now walking towards the exit of the mall, but you notice Hobie stopped walking next to you and you turned around to see what he was looking at. You noticed he was standing right in front of a brick entrance with a garage door hanging open at the top with spray paint written on it. Spencers? (ngl that store is clever with the design) 

“Hey, luv?” He asks you while continuing to stare into the dimly lit store. “Let's go in here for a sec.” He enters without looking at you as you caught up to him at the entrance and saw loads of accessories and clothing from different anime shows and memes. You ask him what this store was, and he plainly told you that it piqued his interest. Yeah, right like you believed in that crap. You knew that he didn’t want to go into a store because it looked ‘interesting’ because that's the opposite of what he believes about ‘capitalism schemes luring you in’ and whatnot. But as you were caught up in your thoughts you saw something printed on soft pajama pants. 

“Hobie look it's you!” You show him the red Spiderman pajama pants and he gives a big chuckle. 

“Bit weird knowing that my masked face is on someone's nightgown innit?” He chuckles as you both walked a little deeper into the store. You put back the pants and noticed board games above your head. To be honest you thought they were a bit interesting and quite unique, but you didn’t understand the point of the rules. 

But you brushed it off and tried to catch up to your boyfriend who was all the way in the back of the store but on the way, you saw a lot more dirty shirts and… was that a penis plant pot?! You couldn’t even compriHEND what you were looking at. And the more you looked around saw more explicit shirts and… breast pillows!? Penis lollipops!? What!? Everywhere you looked there was always something inappropriate that you didn’t even know they could be products! You suddenly realize the board games you stumbled upon earlier were explicit and it made sense why they were in this store. You thought that this store was some kind of different version of HotTopic but this was just on a whole other level.

But then…you saw something you always blushed about when you pass by a store full of these… Lingerie. Red, Blue, Pink, and every other color you could think of. You slowly looked up and down the selection of the laced clothes and your face was pink as the pretty pastel pink laced lingerie right in front of you. As you observed the details in the clothing even more- could you even call it clothing at this point!? The two-piece laced clothing only had a small thin piece of fabric that could [barely] cover your… you couldn’t even think about it! You couldn’t lie… it looked a little cute BUT there was [no way] you would wear that… well maybe once for him… STOP thinking about it!

“Whatcha thinkin' ‘bout hm?” That voice… Before you could even think about a cover-up response a pair of stiff but soft hands slid around your waist pulling your back right against his chest and a familiar voice whispered in your ear with an obvious hint of dirty thoughts running through his head. Your mind was just blanking out as you were frozen in place and your face burns up with the embarrassment of your boyfriend catching you staring into a cute pair of lingerie that he just knows you’re thinking about how beautiful it would look on you. Before you could mutter a word, one of his hands that was trailing around our waist was now traveling up your body and was now placed under your chin. Your breath shutters from his touch and his hand were gently holding your chin upwards as he whispers another one of his dirty questions. “Thinkin' ‘bout how you would look quite cute in that hm? Exposed but all dressed up pretty for me?” Blood rushing to your head the thought of being exposed to him was just too much for you to handle and you were so embarrassed by not even being in denial. 

But then as soon as you thought this was the pinnacle of the dirty thoughts you could ever have… his hand that is holding your chin up at him ever so slightly, moved your head to the right and your face was now heating up as the sight you were seeing. The reason why you completely missed what the whole wall right next to you had in store was because you only saw white boxes… you don’t smoke so you only assumed it was vaping products but no… because you were so, so, close to the wall of the hanging white boxes as big as your hands… you realize that they were not nic products at all. “You know what these are baby?” He whispered in your ear. His soft voice tickled your ear and added even more to the weird feeling you had in your gut. But because you have never even touched on these topics ever before you didn’t know what these small white hanging boxes had in store for you, so you only shook your head while trying to look away, so he doesn’t see your blushing face of embarrassment. But he moved your chin with only a little bit more force and pressure to make. you. look. “These are toys you know? You love toys, right? Well, it’s a bit hard for you to see but if you look to the side…~” He moves you more to the right side and turns your head to face all the sides of the different size boxes hanging from the wall, you see what they were truly hiding. You were just staring at the wall dressed top to bottom of the different sizes, color, and shapes of toys and a wall of bondage next to them.

“T-toys for w-what…?” That was a genuine question because you were oh so innocent. And he knows it too. Just his thoughts on tainting you with his fantasies is his fantasy. But he won't go that far unless you want to. He is quite the respectable guy to you and knows his boundaries. But today he wants to give you a little tease. 

“Toys just for me… and you~” He whispers softly in your ear and sends shivers down your spine. “Toys that we can play in the bedroom and have a little bit of… fun~” He then finally lets go of you and walks away towards the checkout counter and you feel like you could finally breathe. You start to think back at what just happened and it was so much for your gut to handle. But you know you liked it. 

You quickly walked past all the rest of the ���toys’ and weird party games and made your way to Hobie next to the counter. “This yo girl Hobie?” The cashier asked. He was wearing an Akatsuki beanie and wore some type of anime lanyard with lots of pins. You wonder if he was friends with Hobie because you saw them chuckling about something that you couldn’t hear earlier.

“My one n’only” He replies proudly as he looks down at you with a hint of affection in his eyes. You only smile happily. While Hobie and his friend were talking, you look around the countertop that had a lot of candy and knickknacks for people to buy last minute and whatnot. You started to look at some bottles of something. You thought it was lotion, but it had ‘flavor’?

“You interested?” Hobie’s friend asks you as he caught you reading the bottle for too long. “How ‘bout a bit of flavor for your night Hobie? On me man.” His friend offered while he snickers as he gives Hobie a bag and thanked him. Your boyfriend then swiftly takes one of the bottles and adds it to the bag as he gives you little grin as you both walked out of the store. 

After he waves his friend goodbye you ask Hobie what his friend was talking about. “Little flavor for our fun tonight darlin'~ The real flavor is way better cause your already so sweet~ This however is for you” He gives you a little pat on your head as you realize what he meant, and your face turned red again. 

“F-flavor!?” 

[Later that night] 

You an Hobie arrived at his apartment, and he just leaves the bag on the kitchen table as he heads to the bathroom. You were just dying to know what he got from Spencers. As soon as you heard the door shut, you went in for the dive and looked down into the bag... a bottle of [your favorite fruit flavor] flavored lube, a white box, and that [fav color] lingerie that he caught you staring at for too long. Your eyes were wide open to the sight you were seeing. There was no way... but why are you even surprised, of course he would buy this for you. 

“Like what I got for you baby?~” 

Author’s note: Thank you for reading my first ff! Wanna see a part 2? 👀 Gotta work for it!

[mikeyswayy]

hey, uh. hi. yeah. sorry i dont know why im doing this. im pretty sure youre dead. god i hope you arent. maybe this is just the digital form of visiting someones grave eh? yeah, i dunno. its lonely without you. keep wanting to tag you in things, god i fucking wish i could still tag you in things. i was a little scared to send this one, even just to write it, but id rather you be alive and proving me a fool for writing this than dead. maybe with my luck the universe’ll wanna make me look stupid so bad that ur actually fine. i miss you. ive been waiting the past few days you know that? waiting to be wrong waiting for you to come back waiting for this to be like the other times, but its been four days now. i just. i hope you found peace man, i hope if you are dead its better than anything ever was back here, you deserve it.

while im here i figure i may as well catch you up on everything goin on, not anywhere near as good as getting to freak out about it on here with you but i think its the best im gonna get. so basically a couple days ago frank posted five random dates in the shape of the mcr logo and that was. jesus frank. the dates are 11/13, 2/16, 3/7, 2/24, and 12/6. i now live in fear. and then today the official mcr account posted a picture with a background that looks reminiscent of paper kingdom, oh god, 150 peices of,, ash? confetti?? falling down over large red letters that spell out a backwards k and then cr. so basically. going insane over if this is mcr5 or not. fuck youll never get to see mcr5 will you? fucking scary, feels wrong to get excited about it without you. i hope youre okay, i really fucking hope youre okay and all this is for nothing i hope youre in the hospital because soneone found you before it was too late and you just cant have your phone because of it, i hope you didnt even do anything and youre just staying off tumblr just anything, please, fuck man you have to be okay alright?? im scared, i really miss you, i know we werent that close or even close at all but you mean do much to me alright i need you i need you to be fine. i hope you see this. oh, on the topic of not being close, i uh. never learned your real name. i made a small patch with your username and put it in the left breast pocket of my coat, i hope thats alright. wanted you close to me and all

i think thats it, so uh. this is goodbye i suppose. i didnt get to say goodbye before. saw your post 2 hours late. it hurts, i try not to get too caught up in the what ifs though. its hard. so goodbye friend, until next time. i hope to see you again. i love you.

I'm not dead!

I'm sorry I scared you like really badly but I'm okay

What happened was I like almost didn't but I didn't go deep enough to do any real harm to myself

I cut a little but not the full way so I'm fine but if I had went all the way I would probably be gone bc no one did like come in my room for a while after

I've just been staying off of here and not really posting because I didn't really think anyone would really care if I was dead or not

But I know you do

Also I really appreciate you saying what's been happening with MCR thank u

I know abt everything but still u telling me is really sweet, thank you

The patch is really nice, thank you

I feel like doing something similar since u did that and I probably scared the living shit out of you so yeah something with ur user maybe idk is that weird idk

I love you too man

I'm really sorry for scaring you I just didn't know what to do that day and I'm sorry for not really posting anything after that 🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤

[gunslinginnhogtyin]

@dragonskxn replied: "Hey, no, it's okay," Annalise reassures him, taking a seat next to him in the grass. Looks like this wasn't going to be just be a simple answer. "You can take all the time you need, okay? I'm more than willing to listen.”

A brief smile crawls onto his face at her reassurance.

“Well, t’answer yer question, I…I wasn’t born with it. ‘Fact, I was born a normal ol’ human. It wasn’t until I got put away in that magic book that I started t’change.” Butch admits, seeming to just now realize that he hadn’t even mentioned that damn book, had he? It’s sweet though, to think she hadn’t questioned it before now because she saw him no differently because of these features.

“Shit, I ain’t even mentioned all that, huh?” The cowboy releases a sheepish chuckle before continuing on, “Back in my century, when I was still workin’ on my Pa’s farm, I met this woman an’ she was a witch. Not a mean kinda witch but I mean literally, this woman could cast spells an’ shit. She was… well, at th’ time it was th’ kindest anyone’s ever been t’me so I thought she was as sweet as could be an’ I couldn’t stand my Pop’s so I high tailed it outta there with ‘er. She was my best friend fer a long time,” though ten years held no candle to all the time lost in that book.

“We ate together, fought together, travelled together, robbed a bank or two together—everythin’ was just peachy. ‘Least… I didn’t have any complaints.” His tone suggests his partner in crime must have felt differently. “She had this magic book she took with ‘er everywhere where she’d trap away evil magic t’protect this world. We’d ventured int’ it a few times fer th’ hell of it an’ it was dangerous but we never went alone. It was…its own world in there. Dark an’ creepy, an’ it was always changin’.” As Butch continues, his tone grows a bit more serious, as does the look on his face as he revisits these events in his head.

“I dunno why or where it came from but one day, she told me there was danger an’ I needed t’hide. So, she did her whole magic thing an’ put me in there—I didn’t wanna go in alone an’ I tried t’get ‘er t’come with me but…” A soft sigh followed by a pause as he shakes his head, eyes finding the ground. He plays with some grass as he begins an again.

“…She said she’d find me later but, uh, that…never happened. She never came back fer me. I thought… somethin’ horrible happened to ‘er fer a long time. That place was… somethin’ else. I’d say worse than Hell but I ain’t ever been, heh.” He tries to toss a little joke in there to keep the air lighthearted though it’s a bit too late for that.

“It…changed me. I dunno how but I could feel it, an’ there was nothin’ I could do about it. These horns an’ tail, they hurt when they first grew in, real bad. It was…” he peers up in thought, momentarily squinting an eye shut. “Oh, I’d say a year or so ago when I finally was let outta that thing… by one’f her relatives. An’ that was by accident. That’s when they told me… she was dead.”

“An’ I know it ain’t much NOW… but it ain’t over. I’m… one’f them now, I jus’ know it.” Though he’s not even sure what ‘them’ is. An evil spirit of some kind? A demon? An honest to god demon? He didn’t know. His old partner in crime was the one who knew all that magic mumbo jumbo. I don’t feel th’ same as b’fore, I—“ Seeming to realize he’s been rambling, he stops himself, looking to Annalise a bit embarrassed, his head tilted down some.

“Er, s-sorry this is… it’s a lot. I jus’… want ya t’know everythin’ so ya understand. You’f all people deserve t’know… I dunno how much longer I got lookin’ like this. I dunno… what I might become. I figured maybe leavin’ that place stunted that weird ass transformation, but…” Butch trails off, averting his gaze. It’s obvious he’s been holding this all in for a long time. It’s hard to be so terrified of his unknown fate when he was raised to ignore such feelings.

Absentmindedly and without another word, he plucks out a cigarette from behind his ear and lights it up with a match.

[bmpmp3]

speaking of internet horror its interesting seeing the different communities and formats that have gone in and out of vogue

like its probably obvious from my age and the everything about me that i grew up with primarily text and image based creepypastas (although some were more multimedia with videos or even ARG elements) when i was in elementary and middle school, and that i was huge into nosleep (which tend to be almost exclusively text, although one of two might've had a picture accompanying it, and I still think that one that about the pop song where they had a little clip of it was pretty fun LOL ~but he took your~ [synth riff] still gets stuck in my head sometimes) from highschool to......to be honest until reddit imploded this year o7

ive been mostly in the forum-y blog-y text heavy horror unfiction sphere, but there was also the early youtube horror webserieses, they often went a little into ARG elements too (which i personally have never been a fan of I think just because im too lazy to decode all these things LOL) but that shifted into our more modern analog horror videos we got now

im not super familiar with the analog horror and webseries stuff tbh, i love movies and short films but i have trouble watching shows and serialized videos nowadays LOL BUT i do really like those laceygames videos, and all the things inspired by it: like these little animations about some made-up flash game thats scary or weird SO GOOD so awesome those are fun

although sometimes the animation videos of made-up video games.....sometimes i wish it was a real thing hJKHJFDS petscop was interesting and this is absolutely not what i should have taken from it but it did make me want a puzzle game where i befriend weird pets HJFKDSLHFJDJN no fault of its own i just like weird old simulation puzzle games

right now it feels like things are a little more on the multimedia video end of things in terms of popularity, but webpage and text/image based stuff will always be around doing god knows <3 does anyone remember that one webtoon. like the really early webtoon like lowercase w webtoon korean webcomic. the one that jumpscares you. bongcheon dong ghost <3 <3 <3 still too scared to reread it <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

im busy ignoring my school assignments rn so thats why im aimlessly typing about internet horror but as someone who does prefer reading stuff on the internet over video i would love to see more text and image based horror communities pop up again a la creepypasta wikis and nosleep (which is still alive its just you know. hard to use reddit without my beloved RIF ;-; rest in peace rif is fun you beautiful beautiful app), i think theres still lots u can do with the wonderful static text and image. the beautiful animation and video-less webpage. i dunno i think the future of internet horror is bright and interesting!! there is a world out there to be scary <3

[branzinos]

tw dysphoria

I tried on a dress today, for the first time in idk. 15yrs or so. and I'm still not really sure how I feel about it like 8hrs later. looking in the mirror or at the photos I took, I felt quite detached even though objectively it fit my body shape nicely. I dunno. I'm in a strange part of destransition where I recognise myself in the mirror as I look now and think I look kinda ok. I think I'm probably cuter as I look now than I was before. I've never felt that I'm at all physically attractive so it's hard to say. but I wish I could go back to looking y'know. queerer. closer to butch. (i'm short so was never under any illusions of passing but. yknow) without it being scary or dangerous to be in public because people look. I miss having short hair and looking like a little dyke or people mistaking me for a teenage boy. but physically I feel so much more confident in my body and able to look at myself in the mirror (I avoided mirrors at all costs, because my body didn't fit the gender I was giving from the neck up and it made me cry) just because I don't have the constant background anxiety and self body policing about feeling unsafe or being misgendered all the time, because I've just. like, accepted that I'm gonna be misgendered all the time no 'cause how would anyone know? I don't like it, it still hurts, but I've gotten used to it. and that's transferred into feeling braver showing up as femme-r. but I don't have a community here or even really like, positive support at all, to make me feel safe to look like I want to - even nearly 10y down the line nobody (irl) even tries to use my pronouns and my family never really believed it was a real thing, which I guess detransitioning isn't helping, so. but this is small town teas.

it just makes me appreciate my online friends even more, I guess. y'all at least try to accept me in whatever form that takes and make space for me. I tend to take and post selfies when my confidence is at its lowest, because it makes me have to look at myself and take inventory, in a way. and you're always nice to me even when I feel ugly. that makes me feel very tender, and a little lonely that I can't be with y'all in person, and thank you and cook for you and bake for you and hug you.

anyway. I'm not really sure why I'm posting all this here and will probably delete it later. this is the dress, it has dogs on it !!

excuse the fact I desperately need to dye my roots, lol. the lighting in that changing room was heinous.

on a more positive note I did buy some nice trousers and a nice jacket, so.

[solipsistful]

director’s cut on automatisms? 👀👀

this took a while to figure out what to even say, but i think i'll go chapter by chapter and say something interesting about each of them

but i'll first say that the very first unfinished draft of Automatisms was actually a NaNo project by Serpent, which i (ace) then took over and rewrote into its current form. so i'll be making this post and seeing if he wants to chime in (not that anyone except me has been particularly talkative lately rip)

XX01: Re-entry

i love that the fic starts (after the pretentious epigraph, im sorry) with a canon line. not only does it temporally set Automatisms as essentially an alternate Acceptance, but i think highlights how it really does follow from Control's canon experiences. like, i could absolutely see an argument that Control canonically just has a dissociative disorder (Authority begins with a dissociative episode, his guides…).

funnily, it wasn't actually any of our idea to go "what if him plural". that was a friend lol.

XX02: Breaching

Finally, a conclusion. Denouement. Control let out the breath he hadn’t intended to hold.

my desire to copy canon's style means hooray narrative (and ghost) metaphors.

XX03: Returning

this chapter has the big freaking problem of being extremely important in canon but not at all changed by Control getting some Lowry commentary. i know one answer would be to just… not follow canon so closely, but shh.

what this means is that it's basically best to read this fic with a very good memory for what happens in Acceptance, which probably isn't great. (i fall into the exact same problem with Doubled)

XX04: Waking

ive mentioned this before, but isn't it fun that Lowry's first time fronting alone occurs off-screen and is never really discussed explicitly? something with Narrative there. (it's also fun how canonically that's just Control having a freeze reaction to the biologist anyway, "playing dead to keep his head")

XX05: The lighthouse

god we had the HARDEST TIME deciding what person and tense Lowry's sections should be in. there's several version of this chapter trying to figure out first vs second vs maybe just third? and present vs past. first person present eventually won out as Special enough, even if i struggle to write it (even more than second person). it also leaves second person for the voice of Area X-as-narrator later, which is probably better.

and then Absolution is just gonna be plain old third person past, boo.

XX06: Somewhere else

just some Control reckoning with wtf is Lowry even doing in his head. i mean, it's an important question, like the most important thing in the world for Control right now, but it's sorta hard coming up with scenes where he can both think/talk about that without just going in circles about how unanswerable it is.

XX07: The tower

i hope this chapter feels as Significant as i intend it to be. this is, after all, the real moment of divergence from canon: Control never goes down the tower!

there are, like chapter 5, versions of this chapter where the "beckoning" is in the first person vs second person, italicized or different fonts or right-aligned or not set apart from the rest of the text at all, etccc. i Care about this formatting stuff okay. (had to go digging into how AO3 work skins work at all in order to get the chapter numbers right, for instance, lol)

XX08: The border

it really strikes me, given what we've seen of Absolution, that Lowry should be way more over-the-top in his reactions here lol. he's not a quiet shut down type like Control; he's over the top and angry and should have, i dunno, punched a tree or something. oh well. maybe he's just relying on not being in the body to give him some distance from basically the worst thing imaginable that could happen to him in this moment.

XX09: The teeth

ok i told myself i wouldn't say this about all the chapters, but i think this chapter in particular should've been longer lol. i mean, it's a Good Chapter, but that's why it should've been longer! there's a lot of implications of things that probably should've been explored more. i'm thinking in particular of Lowry wanting to go retrieve the videos. this is the guy who retrieved the videos from the first expedition, as awful as that must have been. he's abandoning all that and the first expedition overall by leaving the SR building.

ah well.

XX10: The throat

i think im so clever for the "are you real" repeat

XX11: Humanity

after all that kerfuffle over whether Lowry would be in the first/second/third person, we actually hadn't considered what that would look like when Lowry and Control were blurring, whoops. so, good thing that we decided on the first person, because that makes blurring into "we" instead of like. "yall" lmao.

XX12: Exorcism

how do you write hypnosis (especially from the point of view of the hypnotized)

i mean the real point of this chapter is just "look at my theory/interpretation that Lowry's hypnosis is linked to Area X's narrative control and isn't that fun"

XX13: Memory

i don't know what to say about this one. character discussions!

XX14: Disposition

this is simultaneously a filler chapter and also i should've spent longer dealing with things like Lowry having food issues (which is something i had sorta drawn from Acceptance but here is influenced by all the Absolution tidbits in which he's obsessing over eating animals in Area X lol).

but mostly it's a filler chapter because by this point, i knew that the second half of the fic would use all the same chapter titles in reverse, and i have Disposition2 already written so Disposition1 has to exist.

Bonus Sneak Preview: XX15: Escape

obviously a lot of my fic-writing efforts have been spent towards WOE.BEGONE lately, but i think another reason why Automatisms has been going slowly is that this next chapter includes a large change in time and context. so, i'm sorta wanting to think through whether there's anything in the old context that I still want to do before i decide on A Change. but really i should probably just go ahead and do the Change. as hinted above, i have a lot of post-Change stuff written. :>

- ace and no Serpent as it turns out whoops

[invisiblegarters]

Be Mine Superstar Ep 3

Aw, Punn's mom is sweet. I dunno if I'd be making coffees for an entire set just so *my* kid could have an excuse to speak to his crush. Cafe or not.

I'd like to be proud of myself that I called Title being kind of a dick, but well. it wasn't hard.

Bet the coffee is going to make our pretty Ashi sick now that Title said something about it. But interesting that he too already seems to have some sort of interest in Punn, even if I'm not sure what type exactly. My guess is he liked the reverent way Punn treated him. Not my bag, personally, but I can see where one could be into it.

More lakorn! Yay. i love this stupid drama.

Ashi pours water weird. /pointless observation.

Pfft at Muang's smirk. He knows what's up.

I am currently reassessing Title and Ashi's relationship. I thought that they both had a thing but now I think it might just be Title.

Punn, this why we don't talk about our crushes out loud where anyone can hear.

"You must call me daddy" Well, okay then. Not necessarily the one I thought Punn would be calling daddy but I kind of dig it all the same.

And Muang still pursuing doc. Good for him.

Oh damn. I really want Punn to call Muang "daddy" in front of Ashi now. Please. I need the amusement in my life, I have so little (not true, but let's pretend). Also I find Punn literally fleeing from Muang hilarious.

Muang is power tripping, Punn. And it's funny for me at the moment. If it gets too serious that will stop, but currently he doesn't seem to be doing it to be genuinely awful. It's a bit like a cat toying with a mouse, true, but I get the feeling that he'll let the mouse go rather than bite its head off in the end.

Oh, is that the real height difference? Hello. I am a sucker for a good height difference. No one beats the Semantic Error guys for this, though.

I just had a thought. At some point Ashi is going to see that room, isn't he? Oh, that's just a world of nope.

Oh dear, these two investigating the pub Muang frequents oughta be a trip. Also, if that man is actually the doctor's boyfriend I will eat my nonexistent hat. Again.

Sunglasses and a hat. You two are worse at this than Hira, and that's saying something.

I might have spoke too soon with Muang. I dunno. I want him to be likeable but I'm just not sure right now. I don't get his game here aside from just being kind of a dick. Although I bet he takes back the whole "Ashi doesn't want to see your face" thing about two seconds into the next ep. He just doesn't strike me as deliberately mean, more mischievous without thinking too hard about whether he should. Still want him and the doc to get it on again though.

Huh. Was it just me or was this episode a lot better than the last two? Maybe it needed a couple eps to get into it's stride.