#cw: poor hygiene due to depression

[phoebe-delia]

i'll watch your life in pictures like i used to watch you sleep

HAPPY JULY 9TH EVERYBODY *cackles evilly* here's some angst for the occasion. I don't think I've really done this song before. Here's "Last Kiss" by TS. CW: depression, lack of self-care and hygiene. Post-breakup. Unhappy ending. Angsty angst angst. Seriously--you've been WARNED.

Draco'd thought, when he'd swiped the thing, it would be something Harry would come back for. If not for him, surely Harry'd come back for his sweater. He'd come back and pick up the thing he'd forgotten, only to see Draco wearing it and realize he had to take Draco with him. That he'd left more than one thing behind.

Instead, days and weeks went by—and nothing. Draco would wake up and rush to the window to see if, maybe, there was an Owl pecking insistently at his window clutching a note in its talons that said "I'm coming home." He'd constantly check the peephole in his door, to see if Harry was walking down the hall, holding a bouquet of flowers. He imagined yanking the bouquet from Harry's grip and flinging himself into warm, strong arms, and feeling himself start to be okay again.

Draco cried the day he lifted the neck of the sweater to his nose and smelled himself, his own grief, instead of Harry's cologne. He broke down sobbing when an Owl finally did come, this time holding a copy of the Prophet that featured Harry, grinning on the front page.

The Owls kept coming, each day, with newspapers full of Harry's life, and Draco read the articles until his head hurt. He saved every story, clipped every photograph. He collected them in a box kept under his bed, watching from a distance, the moments of a life lived without him.

[with-love-from-hell]

Break Me Down

[ft. Asmodeus]

Request by @theorriginalolivejar

“Mc is super stressed out and Asmo catches them in the middle of a breakdown”  + “A reader who is struggling with their mental health and not having the motivation to get out of bed long enough to do much of anything (like maybe the idea that they haven't been going to school and got scolded by Lucifer which did /not/ help and so a worried Asmo goes and checks on then).”

I decided to combine both of these requests since they are in the same ballpark! I am writing this one exclusively for Asmo but Lucifer and Mammon are featured in moments for plot! This one turned out a little longer, hope that’s okay!! (Read under the cut).

Genre:  comfort, fluff

Written for a GN!MC

WC: ~2.6k

Cw: depression, isolation/social withdrawal, executive dysfunction, poor self-care/self neglect, negative self-talk, mental-breakdown of MC, Lucifer being a hard ass, swearing, Mc has long hair and may be coded as white

You slam your bedroom door behind you in a furious rage, immediately collapsing onto your bed in a fit of tears. You could still hear Lucifer’s voice from the hall scolding you about your recent bad marks on the mid-term due to missing the tests, and you cursed yourself for being honest with him about your score and not bypassing his questioning like you usually do. You had been feeling low lately- much more than usual- and his helicoptering only made you feel worse.

You loved Lucifer- you really did. He was like the over-protective older brother you wished you had growing up...but some days his chastising really got to you. And today was one of those days. 

You lay face down in your pillow, sobbing. You had barely been able to get out of bed the past week and make it to class, you skipped meals, and you had been isolating a lot more than usual. You had also been neglecting your hygiene. instead of brushing your hair, you opted to just throw it up in a pony while the matted tangles grew more unruly, you hadn’t done your laundry like you were supposed to on Sunday, and were quickly running out of clean clothes, and you had showered only once, which was a big change from your usual daily routine. 

You weren’t sure what caused the spiral this time, but at this point it didn’t really matter. This would happen frequently when you were at ho- well...not home...the human world- and you never really knew how you managed to pull yourself out of it. Back there, you didn’t have 7 people checking in on you multiple times a day and demanding your attention. You also didn’t have people pushing you to do your best- and your obligations were minimal. Here though, it was different. You would usually go weeks- hell, sometimes months without proper nutrition- once even landing you in the hospital due to dehydration. But how long could you go here until someone gave a damn?

the soft click of the tumbler on your door stirred you from your thoughts.

“Just leave me the fuck alone!” You yelled, chucking your pillow at who you assumed was Lucifer coming in to berate you some more. Instead, your eyes landed on a very worried-looking Asmodeus. 

“Mc.” He cooed, grabbing your pillow and approaching you slowly. “I came to check on you.” 

You sighed and planted your face into another pillow. “I’m fine. Now please leave.” 

He tutted and sat down next to you. “I don’t believe that for a second. You look terrible.” 

You felt your chest tighten and you gritted your teeth. “Gee, Thanks.” 

He realized what he had said and immediately back tracked. “No- no I didn’t mean it like that...I-” Asmo sighed. “I’m just worried about you. You don’t look like your normal self and you've been acting strange...what's going on?” 

You turned your body away from him, toward the wall, trying to hide your tears. “I told you...I-I’m fine.” 

Asmo sighed and snuggled up into your back, placing a kiss on your shoulder blade. “No, you’re not fine.” 

At his acknowledgement of your blatant lie, you broke down. You sobbed endlessly, barely able to communicate your thoughts. You blubbered to him about how you felt like you were a failure, how you were a poor excuse for an exchange student, how you weren’t able to even brush your teeth and how you felt disgusting. 

Asmo’s heart broke at the sight of you. He wished you would have asked him for help, but he understood why you didn’t. Clearly you were battling your own plight, and that seemed to often be ignored, based on how you talked about yourself. 

He shushed you and held you tighter, rubbing your shoulders with each passing phrase of validation. 

“You’re not a failure. You’re easily the most accomplished person I’ve ever met.”

“You’re such an important addition to our family. We’d be lost without you.” 

“Lucifer can sometimes not know when he’s pushing too hard. You’re really smart- remember when you helped me pass a test I’d failed 4 times?” 

As he calmed your sorrow and soothed your insecurities, he was now left with no other choice.....To pamper the ever living hell out of you. 

He gathered you in his arms and moved you to his room. He knew he had the best bed out of everyone in the house, and he would ensure that you knew you deserved to be in it. He immediately tucked you in and placed a delicate kiss to your nose, stating he would return shortly. 

When he returned, he had in hand a steaming kettle along with two mugs, a protein bar, and an apple. He set up the items on his bedside table, pouring hot liquid into the mugs before stirring in some orange powder. 

“What’s that?” you sniffed the air- it smelled like citrus fruit. 

He smiled. “It’s a vitamin C booster. it has blood orange, cardamom, and burdock root in it. It’s almost like a tea!” 

You raised an eyebrow as he picked up a bottle from his night stand. He drizzled some honey over the top and handed you the mug. You obliged and sniffed the liquid. it smelled overwhelmingly of citrus. You took a sip, and winced at how strongly it tasted of bitter dirt.

Asmo let out a giggle at your response. “Here, you might need some more honey.” 

He drank the disgusting liquid with you, joking about how it tasted like oranges that had been cut in half and rolled on a the floors of Mammon’s room. It managed to get a small laugh out of you, which made his heart flutter. 

After you finished your beverage (if you could even call it that), he handed you the apple and a protein bar. “Here. The bar is Beel’s, but he shouldn’t miss just one. I am going to draw you a bath while you have your snack.” 

You smiled sadly at him as he turned toward his bathroom. “I’m not really all that hungry, Asmo.” 

He whipped around, giving you a face like you’d struck a puppy. “Darling, you haven’t eaten properly in days! You look like you’re about to collapse!” 

He rushed back to you and took your chin in his hands, eyeing your face intensely. He tutted at you once more. “You look like death. you need to eat something...please?” 

You sighed and took a bite out of the apple. He smiled brightly, kissing the top of your head before skipping back to the shower. Despite the fact that you didn’t feel hungry before you took that first bite, you were now ravenous. The fact that your body hadn’t given you hunger cues didn’t mean you weren’t hungry, and you now realized that. You finished the apple in just a few minutes and downed the protein bar- not really feeling full, but at least your body had something in it now. 

Asmo returned after a few minutes and smiled even wider when he saw you had finished the snack he had given you. He didn’t comment on it, only gestured for you to enter his bathroom. You stood and moved toward the bathroom. You felt a blush tint your cheeks as he followed you in. He had already changed into shorts and a tank top, and you were worried about him trying to get into the bath with you. It’s not like you expected him to just hang out in his room while you were naked in his bath- but you hoped this wasn’t all a ploy just to get you to do things with him. 

To your surprise though, Asmo turned around as you undressed. He didn’t even try to sneak a peek at you. Perhaps the Avatar of Lust had better respect for boundaries than others gave him credit for. 

After you got into the way-overly-bubbled bath, Asmo finally turned around and made his way to you. He sat behind you, dangling his legs into the water of the deep pool-like bath, kicking some of the water up while humming. You were about to ask what he was doing until you felt a sharp tug at your scalp. 

“Ow!” you yelped at the feeling of Asmo trying to unknot your hair with his brush. 

“Oh, I’m sorry dear!” He immediately moved to pet your head where he had yanked back on the hairs a little harder than he intended. “I didn’t mean to pull. I’ll try to be more gentle.” 

As promised, he worked through the knots in your hair much gentler. Soon enough, the brush was running through it without an issue, and he ushered you forward to rinse it while he moved to grab his shampoo. 

After you finished submerging your head, Asmo once again grabbed hold of your hair, already returning to his position behind you. He lathered the rose-scented soap into your hair, continuing to hum as he did so. He got up once more as you rinsed, this time returning with a pair of hair scissors. 

“Whoa, wait a minute!” You jerked your head away after seeing him come at you with the sheers in the mirror across from the bath. 

“What, Sweetie?” He cooed. “No need to fret- I cut my hair all the time! Nobody can get my bangs perfect the way I can. I only go to the salon to style the back where I can’t reach! Besides, you have so many dead ends and long hair can be so unruly. It’s good to give it a trim here and there!” 

You sighed and returned your back to the wall of the bath. Asmo squealed in delight and returned to working on your hair. After a short while, you felt him lather something else into your scalp- probably conditioner. He motioned for you to rinse and got up once more, returning his scissors to his vanity and grabbing a large bottle of botty wash, various facial scrubs, and a washing brush for you. 

“I trust you can wash yourself, hmm?” He returned to the bath and handed you the materials, but not before giving a flirtatious wink. “Unless...you want me to wash you instead?”

You splashed water at him playfully and he screeched, followed by a cackling laugh. “Oh you’re so bad. Fine! I’ll go get everything else settled!” 

You smiled as he gleefully skipped out of the bathroom, cracking the door behind him. 

-------------------------------

You had just finished up scrubbing the oil and grime off your body when Asmo returned to the bathroom- towel, robe, and slippers in hand. He allowed you to put on the items yourself after asking if you needed help and you declined. 

Asmo sat you down at his vanity when you gave him the all-clear to enter, tussling your hair in a towel before taking a blow dryer to it. He hadn’t cut your hair too much shorter, but it was still shorter than you normally kept it. He ran a comb through it while he dried it, and ensure to touch up any of the parts he had missed cutting or layering while you were sitting in the bath. 

Once done, he turned you toward him to admire his work. He clapped his hands rapidly before gripping your hands in his and giving you a bunny kiss. “You look so beautiful. You’re already starting to glow again!” 

You blushed as he hurried you out of the bathroom. He was eager to continue pampering you.

 You gasped at all of the beautiful pillar candles lit before you, a massage table placed in the center of the room, and the sounds of ocean waves softly echoing in the background. The shadows projected by the flames danced across the walls, enveloping you in their soft warmth. Asmo ushered you to the table and turned while you removed your slippers and dropped the robe, covering your rear instead with the silk sheet that he had left out for you. 

“Nothing funny, okay Asmo?” You warned him in a teasing tone. 

“It’s no fun if you’re not into it.” Asmo giggled and kissed your cheek gently before dowsing his hands in massage oil and kneading your back. You let out soft groans as he worked through the knots in your back, and soon enough you found yourself lost in the scent of the burning candles and the smell of chamomile and lavender. 

Just as soon as he had begun, the massage was done. You didn’t know how much time had passed, but it felt like it was over all too soon. He turned once more as you put the robe and slippers back on, and then ushered you to his bed, where he cuddled you until a soft knock on his door interrupted your quiet time. 

“Oh! That must be dinner!” He practically leaped out of the bed and opened the door- revealing Satan...but he looked...different.

You snorted as a hearty laugh forced its way out of you. Satan was red faced and clearly furious with Asmo at what he made him dress in. He was wearing a maid outfit- heals and all- and had a tray in his hand. You didn’t know why he was dressed like that- but you assumed Asmo had wanted to get you smiling... and boy did he do just that. 

Satan set the tray down on the nightstand in a huff and snapped his attention back to Asmo. “Where’s my end of the deal?” 

Asmo grinned ear to ear as he handed him some books. Satan snatched the books from his hands before turning and stormed out of the room. You continued laughing hysterically as you heard his heels click down the hall and out of ear shot.

“Totally worth it.” Asmo giggled as he wrapped you in his arms and nuzzled into your hair.

“What the heck did you have to give him to do that?” You giggled back, trying to recompose yourself. 

“I had some rare first edition books from the human word I was saving for just such an occasion.” He smiled, brushing your hair back from your face. “Now, lets eat!” 

After dinner in bed (consisting of your favorite foods) Asmo continued snuggling with you. You talked for hours about the things that have been bothering you and how your moods tend to cycle from time to time. Asmo let you sleep soundly with him for the next few days, and helped you get back on your feet and feeling good about yourself once more. You also promised to go to him the next time you started feeling shitty in exchange for his overwhelming support.