#dad seunghyun

[onyxmango]

Unfashionably late

A seunghyun x reader fic

Warnings: pregnancy, mentions and descriptions of throwing up/puking, reader becomes a mom, seunghyun becomes a dad, sprinkle of angst, reader blames themselves for a second in here, tooth rotting fluff and comfort, husband seunghyun.

It's 1 pm when you're home. Your husband is practicing for a performance, and you lounging out around the house with some of your mutual friends. The first one being Daesung who's on the couch scrolling on his phone doing who knows what, and Ji-yong who's just playing with his rings at the moment.

"You guys wanna watch a movie?" You suggest. For a few days the boys had been talking about wanting to see a new action movie that recently came out, and it sounded like a good way to brighten the mood and pass time.

So here you are, sitting on the far left of your plush cream colored couch watching a sci-fi action film. At this point you are halfway through it, and the boys are speaking up with their commentary, and you are just listening not really minding. But you feel weird. You can't help but shake the feeling that something isn't right. Which caused you to start zoning out and thinking to yourself, not hearing Ji-yong call out your name. So, he said it again a little louder to finally catch your attention.

"hm?" You replied, slowly coming out of your anxious trance.

"We've been calling you, are you okay?" Ji-yong asked while Daesung was looking at you with a worried expression. Whenever you had days like this, you were always attentive, or interested in what was happening around you, and the boys have been watching that slip for the past five minutes.

"I'm okay, I just feel weird." You replied trying to de-escalate. To you, it wasn't a big deal. It was probably nothing right? Not to them. They were worried about you. You seemed so out of it, and they have never seen you like that.

"What do you mean you feel weird, just like emotionally, or something physically?" Dae asked.

"Just physically. I don't know why though, but it doesn't seem to be going away." You replied. As soon as you look up from saying that, all you see is Daesung and Ji-yong staring at you.

"Well have you eaten to-" you couldn't even hear Ji-yong finish his sentence before you were jumping off the couch to rush to the bathroom. You felt so sick, and started to throw up. Everything that came out of you hitting inside the bowl, and the two boys outside the bathroom to make sure you're okay.

"hey hey hey, are you okay?" You hear Daesung ask from outside the half closed bathroom door, all you can do is let out a strangled no before your puking up more stomach acid along with the food from breakfast. It's all coming up out of your throat leaving a bitter acidic taste that you don't like. The taste is horrible, and you can't stand it.

"I- I need water" you manage to say. After those words leave your mouth all you can hear before your head is by the toilet bowl again is Ji-yong practically running to the kitchen, and Daesung telling him to hurry.

In that moment you are so thankful for these boys, but you're also trying to get everything out of you. You don't like puking up, because who does? But you know your body clearly wants it out, so you rest there, waiting for water, and staying there just in case you suddenly have more vomit coming up your throat that needs to be released. As you press your hand against the floor to stop the dizzy spinning of your head all you turn around to see is Ji-yong crouching down beside you to gently hand you a glass of water. You take it, thankful he got it so quickly, and bring your lips to the rim of the glass.

"Don't drink it too fast or take too big of sips, it'll make it worse" you heard him say to you as you took a small sip, making sure to not get too much but enough to quench the thirst that built in you as you threw up what your system processed from earlier in the day

"Thank you ji, I appreciate it.." you say quietly due to the raspiness of your throat still being dry even after the water you just consumed. But you see the small smile peak through the worried exterior, as he softly pats your back.

After about 10 minutes of sitting in the bathroom without puking anything up again, you start to stand up, and almost trip on a rug due to the dizziness in your head alone, and start apologizing over everything.

"Guys I'm so sorry I don't know what that was, I felt so terrible and so dizzy out of nowhere..." You start slightly tearing up thinking about how you guys were having fun watching the movie together and you ruined it for everyone. But they weren't having that. Ji-Yong shook his head not accepting the apology, and Daesung was looking at you like you killed his whole bloodline.

"What are you apologizing for!? It's not your fault you got sick out of nowhere, therefore no apology needed! We are here for you, and to hang out with you!" Daesung said, using exaggerated hand motions because he was so passionate about the fact you shouldn't apologize. The hand motions came naturally as he spoke, something that normally only happened behind closed doors due to it being seen as unprofessional on camera. But in his eyes, how dare you!!! How dare you apologize for something that wasn't your fault. Like you were some peasant at his feet. He'll be damned!! You need to take care of yourself before you worry about anyone else especially since THEY are in your house!!! He is 119% advocating for you to rest on the couch the rest of their stay. And Ji-yong agrees.

"You should take it easy, and do you have any idea why that might have happened?" You hear Ji-yong ask from the side of you. And then you start to think about it, you have been feeling a bit more emotional lately, dizzy, slightly more hungry for sweet and salty things, needing more blankets and body heat throughout the day, and that's when it hits you. You haven't had your period for a bit over a month.

The realization flashing in your eyes wasn't recognized for what it was, but Ji-Yong and Daesung did give you a puzzled expression wondering what it was that you pieced together.

"I-i'm late..." You stammered out. The thought bringing you to tears. At first, Ji-Yong and Daesung are confused, seeing the tears form in your eyes and about your statement about being late. You didn't have anywhere to go today. That's what you had said earlier as you led them into the house to relax and lounge! And then it was brought together. Ji-Yong being the first to realize.

"Wait, like, late as in?" He asked lowly, and with a look of 'you know?' and all you did was nod. Ji-Yong slightly gasped, his mouth slightly open still, not knowing what to think right now, and his brain processing. Daesung still catching up or trying at least is still confused. Then the light bulb in his head turns on. He slowly looks at you, then your stomach, then you again. Almost asking for confirmation without saying anything. So when you nod, all he can do is cover his mouth with his hands.

15 minutes later and you're at the store inside standing beside Ji-Yong and Daesung wearing face masks to hide their face while you pick out a pregnancy test. You grab a small box off the shelf and start heading towards the check-out counter, the two following behind you. You ring up the test at a self checkout, not wanting the look from a cashier at the moment, and then walk out and back to the car with Ji and Dae.

A few minutes later and you're in the car driving down the road at a decent speed trying to get home. Ji-yong driving, Dae-sung in the passenger seat with you in the backseat. Your minding your own business looking out the window at the scenery when you hear A ringtone from inside the car. Your husband was calling Ji-yong right now. Ji-yong obviously answers and is met with a confused Seunghyun.

"Hey, where is everyone? I just got home." He asked

"Um, we had to run to the store and grab something real quick but we are on the way right now." Ji-yong replied trying to keep a flat tone, not wanting to give anything away.

"Oh, what did y'all need? I'm sure I could have picked it up on my way here" your husband asked, curiosity lacing his tone heavily.

"A Pregnancy test" Daesung blurted out.

"Daesung!" You cried out.

"What!? I'm sorry I couldn't keep it in!" Daesung argued. You and him going back and forth for a moment before hearing your husband's deep voice rumble through the car speakers.

"I might be a dad?" He almost whispered, but due to him being close to his phone you all heard.

"Yea..." You replied.

Then you arrived back at your house, pulling into the driveway. Once you get out of the car, and walk inside all you see is Seunghyun sitting on the couch tearing up. He could be a father? He's so happy right now, but also so scared.

"Jagiya, come here" he said trying to not let the tears spill from his eyes, and holding his arms open for you. You approach him, getting close to his chest, and letting yourself feel the way his arms slowly close around you and hold you tight. Slightly rocking you back and forth.

"No matter what, I'll love you, and we will get through it okay?" He says as he softly kisses the top of your head and releases you. You then grab the pregnancy test off the counter and head for the bathroom saying you'll be back with it soon. As you head to the bathroom all you can hear is there voicing fading out as their conversation began.

"I'm so scared right now." He started to say, his hand going up to his face to wipe away tears threatening to fall.

"Hey man, it's okay, everything will be okay." Ji-yong said slowly walking towards seunghyun to wrap his arm around him while seunghyun slowly started to cry in his own hand. He was a mess. The thought of possibly being a father making him so happy, but the possibility he wasn't and was getting excited for nothing making him feel incredibly sad at the same time. He didn't know what to do, all it seemed he could do was wait for you to come back with the results. And that's what two of his best friends silently agreed with as well as they wrapped their arms around him, comforting him in your absence.

Now your in the bathroom, you've done what you needed to, and in thirty seconds you'll find out if your going to be a mother or not. 29 while you start thinking about raising a baby boy or girl with your sweet and caring husband. 28 while you start thinking of all the fun things you could do with your child around the town you live in. 27 while you think of them seeing their father perform on stage for the first time. 26 while your mind starts to think of names of both genders for the child. 25 while you start thinking of a building a nursery with your husband throughout the pregnancy. All the thoughts flashing through your mind as the seconds slowly tick down until the result is finally on the test. The thing that makes you look up first being a singular tear falling down you cheek as you thought about all the good things that could happen with you and your husband throughout the pregnancy and once your baby was here, and now it's causing you to look down to see the result.

Two lines. Your pregnant.

.

.

.

.

As you process the result you grab the test and run out to hug your husband, all the tears you've been silently holding back flooding your vision as you reach him, feeling his warm arms welcome you back to him making it worse. Your violent sobbing starting to scare him a bit until you hold up the positive pregnancy test with a broken smile on your face as you look up at his shocked expression, watching it slowly turn into one of joy.

"I'm gonna be a dad..." He whispered, then as you nodded he completely announced it loudly, and you both started crying, the two other boys in the room also starting to slightly tear up. They were gonna be uncles soon, how could they not be happy?

5 years later...

It's quiet in the house when you come in, too quiet for your liking. Ever since you had your baby handed to you and your husband seunghyun after her birth, she's been inseparable from your husband. Causing chaos everywhere it was allowed, even places it wasn't sometimes, but she was a well-behaved child. So how did you end up in a quiet house at 3 pm in. The afternoon with a toddler, and a quietly chaotic husband, and not know what they were up to?

You had no idea. But as you set your stuff down on the counter all you saw was a sprinkle of flour on the floor below you. Oh no. You start walking to the kitchen slowly giving them a chance to hear your footsteps to cease whatever they were doing, but nothing. As you got closer, you could hear the slightly louder giggles of your daughter bounce off the walls and spread out to your ears.

As you got closer, you slowly began to see your husband holding up your daughter by a metal bowl with a whisk in hand, and your daughter sitting on the counter helping with the whisk as she sat. Neither of them having noticed you yet, you witnessed them over stir the mixture of whatever they were making at the moment, and flour flying into the air. Painting your daughters fave and clothes white, along with Seunghyun's.

"What are my two pretty babies doing in here?" You coo, announcing yourself in the room.

"Eomma!! We're making you a cake!!!" Your daughter spoke up, flour still apparent on her face as she smiled brightly at you, her small hands in the air to welcome you back home, as your husband shyly smiled at you as you made eye-contact.

"How thoughtful and sweet! How did you know it was my birthday sweet girl?" You asked her with a similar smile. Seunghyun's own widening as he saw it again. Your smile. The one your daughter had an exact replica of. It was so sweet and adorable to him to see your kid have the exact same smile as you. Your daughter had his eyes, but man did she have your smile. It drove him insane with how cute it was on his sweet daughter, and it drove him crazy when it was playful on you. Now he gets double-teamed? He might not survive.

"Appa told me!!! And I said we should make you a cake!" Your daughter replied to you, her hands making grabby motions for you to come to her. So you walked around the counter to her and your husband, seeing the cake mixture almost made other than the flour not being mixed in with the wet ingredients completely yet.

"hm, it doesn't look completely done yet, wanna help eomma whisk baby girl?" You asked your daughter, looking over to see her nod her head and her hand slowly making it's way over to sit on-top of yours as you started to slowly whisk, so her hand could keep up. And you just continued and your daughter started to giggle again. And all Seunghyun could think about was how lucky he was to have both of his girls. What would he do without you two? You both were his world, and he wouldn't give you two up for anything. He loved being a father, especially to your daughter, his daughter. It was the best feeling in the world to have you as a wife, and her as a daughter.

TAGLIST: @thanosscross @petersasteria

[thanosscross]

Found - Dad! Choi Seung Hyun/T.O.P & Idol! Teen! Reader

Summary: Growing up you always had one best friend, your mom, especially after your dad had left you before you were born. So what happens whenever a new career path ends your life-long search for your Appa?

Warnings: None that I can really think of, but if I miss one please let me know lovelies!

Translations:

Ttal-a : Daughter. An informal way for a parent to address their daughter.

You grew up being your mom's best friend, after your father had left her before you were born, it only left the two of you to take care of each other. You were an amazing daughter in your mother's eyes, always doing more than what was asked of you, even if it meant giving up something you wanted or needed.

Even through all of it, you were still weighed down by a question you had for so long, you couldn't remember a time where you didn't have it. It was basically what formed you into the determined person you are today, Who was the man who helped make you? What did he contribute in making you? Did you have his eyes? Or maybe the facial structure you had never been able to match to any of your other relatives on your mother's side. You had so many questions, that you'd always be grounded for asking, so you devoted your free time in trying to find that man, determined to find out everything about your father's family, I mean, they were your family too, right?

Your search would become severely delayed whenever you confidently signed on to an Agency to become a new idol, hoping that it'd come out at least a little successful. It wasn't a secret you came from a rougher side of the city, a small home, with broken floorboards, barely livable, but you did what you could to make it safe for your mother, especially with her worsening health. You'd spend days at a time, training at the agency, if you weren't in training, you were recording and rehearsing for your debut album, and if you weren't doing that? You'd be in meetings with different staff members, if not that? You were doing whatever you could for your mom.

As you'd start to grow in fame, your fans would take notice to certain similarities between you and another Idol, you'd be honored by their theories, with your style of music really ranging, it mainly had one common variant in each song, your ability to rap, being able to rap over 10.13 Syllables per second. The way they'd constantly swear T.O.P from BigBang was a long lost brother, or father, would always charm you, you'd look up to the rapper, especially with him basically setting the bar for any and all K-pop rappers, it was an extreme compliment for you to be compared to him.

You'd never meet T.O.P until your manager would pull him into your first stage rehearsal, it'd be three weeks before you first show, so everybody on your team was stressed, especially whenever you and your chorographer couldn't figure out what you'd do while rapping one of your verses. With rapping, it took a lot of air out of you, especially trying to keep your pitch and keep up with the backtracks, so you couldn't move much, if you'd jump around, run, or dance, you'd surely run out of air before the verse ended, but you also couldn't just stand there. "Y/n! Our little Aein! This is T.O.P, I'm sure you know of him, he's going to help your little problem" YG would cheer, introducing you both before disappearing again into the hall, most likely going to check on other idols and trainees. "Hello, you can just call me Seung Hyun, it's a pleasure to meet you, I've heard you in the studio before, you're rapping is crazy" He smiled, laughing a bit as you both bowed in sync with each other "Nice to meet you! I'm y/n, but you know that" You smiled softly before backing up slightly as your choreographer took over the conversation, as you watched the two converse, you couldn't brush off the feeling of familiarity towards the man, but you couldn't quite place it.

You'd end up spending almost three more hours working on the rest of your choreography, finally calling it quits whenever Seung Hyun spotted you asleep against the wall. He was impressed, for such a young teenager, you were determined to make waves in the industry, yes you were only 17, but you were ready, your kindness and professionalism winning over YG and the others, almost immediately.

You'd barely remember getting home, as you woke up in your own bed, glancing around before you made your way out to the kitchen hearing your mother talking with somebody over the phone. As she finished her phone call, you tiredly sat at the counter, resting your head on your hands as you yawned. "That was your manager, he said you're doing well with your fans" She smiled towards you, handing over a plate of breakfast as she sat next to you "I know! They're so amazing, and they keep coming up with these awesome theories about who my dad might be" You smiled, not noticing her disgusted look, you never understood why she wouldn't ever talk about your father, other than to bash him, and to remind you that he left you, and she stayed. "Some people think it's rapper, T.o.p?" You added on, smiling softly as she looked at you confused "Who would ever name their child, T.o.p?" She asked, her tone dripping in annoyance and disgust "Well, that's his stage name, his real name is Choi Seung Hyun" You replied, jumping slightly as her hand slammed against the counter "That name will not be spoken in my home!" She screamed, you quickly stood up, going to apologize, only to have interrupted by her pointing to the door aggressively. Getting her message, you walked out of the front door, confused, standing there for a moment before pulling out your phone.

You weren't sure who to call, it was still pretty early, but you needed a ride to YG's agency building, walking that far would be damn near impossible to do, especially with you needing to be there, in about 32 minutes. As you held your phone to your ear, you sat on the curb anxiously picking at your socks, only now realizing, you were still in nightclothes and no shoes, but if your Umma wanted you out, who were you to argue? It'd be disrespectful as a daughter if you did. "Hello?" You heard a deep sleepy voice call through the phone, you were hesitant to speak at first, only whenever you realized he might fall back asleep, you spoke "Hey..Um..It's Y/n, are you free?" You asked nervously, hearing the older male sigh, you started to regret calling him, why not call YG? He might've been able to help. "Y-Yea yea, what's..what's going on?" Seung Hyun tiredly asked as he rolled out of the bed, running a hand over his face as he tried to wake himself up more "So...I think my mom might hate you.." You whispered, leaning your head down to rest on your knees "I brought you up..and she kicked me out..I don't know how long for- and! I'm not asking for a place to stay, I-I just..need a ride" You rambled, your anxiety starting to build whenever you heard nothing in reply, it took a moment for Seung Hyun to wrack his brain; maybe that's why your last name sounded so familiar. "Who's your mom?" He asked as he started to get dressed, not planning on leaving you to walk to the agency building. "Y/m/n l/n" You replied, pulling your nightshirt tighter around you as the morning rush started to pick up more, you could hear Seung Hyun's small huff through the phone "I'll be there in about...ten?" He replied, not really replying to your answer before the phone call was cut off. Why were both him and your mom acting so strange? Did they have something going on together?...was he..?

It would be six weeks of you both getting to know each other and picking up on each other's similar habits between you both, there was just something so familiar about each other, but neither of you could place it. Seung Hyun felt a connection towards you, always wanting to make sure you were on the right track, you had everything you needed, and you were protected; You felt almost the same, you just felt calm and safe whenever you were with Seung Hyun, it wasn't that you didn't normally feel safe, but you knew if you needed anything, even if it was a pretty rough situation, you could always call him for help. Your new friendship only fueled fan rumors that Seung Hyun was your father even more, especially with how you interacted during the family concerts, your manager would hold after your debut.

After a while though, Seung Hyun took notice to the fact, you'd never really do what you wanted, he never saw you doing any hobbies, or anything really other than work and favors for others. So, one night he'd find you in the recording studio, sitting at the table as you scrolled on your laptop, groaning loudly whenever you hit another dead end. You were getting so close to giving up, starting to believe maybe your dad just wasn't there out, or at least, wanted nothing to do with you. "Hey...What's going on? Need help?" He offered quickly, taking in your pissed off state, you reminded him of your mother, he'd still be oblivious to the fact he was the person you were looking for, instead, only knowing himself as one of your mother's exes. "No, No. I'm um- working" You rambled, scrambling to close your laptop, turning your attention towards him as you sighed "Working, yes, I am also working then- stop lying and tell me what's up" He replied sarcastically before his tone turned serious as he sat down next to you. "Fine, but you can't..tell anybody" You huffed, opening your computer back up to show him everything you had found out so far from your grandmother and aunt about your dad "I just..want to find him, and I know it probably sounds weird and creepy, but I just-" Seung Hyun cut your rambling off by coughing slightly "It's not either of those things, you're just a kid who misses a parent" He replied, scooting closer to read over what was presented on the screen. Seung Hyun had to hide his nervousness as he read further down the list, as he got to the end, he started to do the math in his head, feeling his heart drop slightly whenever he started to get a feeling maybe your mother wasn't entirely truthful about their break-up.

Seung Hyun did his best to stay calm for the rest of the night, not wanting to give you any false hopes, especially with the way you were speaking of your hopes of one day finding him. The next morning though? He was already out of his home as soon as the sun came up, making his way towards your old residence, you now happily living in one of the dorms at the agency building. Whenever your mother ended things with him, she had told this elaborate story about how she was too old to chase around a K-pop idol, being almost five years younger than her, he believed it, not really thinking much of it. As he knocked on your mother's front door though, he started to heavily question her story, which caused frustration to start growing inside of his body. "Hell- No! Get out of here!" Your mother shouted loudly, glaring daggers at Seung Hyun as she huffed, not wanting to accept the fact her almost 18-year-old lie was finally busted. "Y/m/n. We need to speak about Y/n" He demanded, ignoring your mother's protests as he entered the familiar home, it had severely fallen apart since he had been here last, but everything was still in its original place. "Y/n is my daughter. only mine! You have no right coming into my home! You- You disrespectful-" Seung Hyun was quick to cut your mother off with a harsh glare and a scoff "I don't care if I'm disrespecting you! Unless you were unfaithful while we were together- you know as much as I do, That poor kid has grown up without a dad, because of you" He snapped, standing in his spot next to the door as your mother stepped closer, poking his chest as she stood on her tip toes to get in his face "No! Because you weren't capable of being a father! It's your fault! You were young and immature!" She shouted back, hatred dripping from her tone as Seung Hyun took a step back, laughing sarcastically "How could you possibly know, if you never let me know you were having my kid!" He shouted back, freezing whenever he heard the door next to him open "U-Umma?" You whispered, standing in shock as you stared at the both of them, was he serious? You could tell by their shocked and scared facial expressions; you had finally found out the truth. "Y/n.." Seung Hyun started before you took off back out of the door, needing a moment to wrap your head around the information overload you had just received. "Just let her go, she needs time" Your mother huffed, glaring towards your dad one final time "Get. the fuck. out" She snapped, glaring at her in return, Seung Hyun quickly rushed out, calling your name as he tried to spot what way you went.

You'd be walking down the street whenever Seung Hyun would find you, again, your face bright red from the cold wind, and your cheeks stained with tears. Why was your mom acting so hateful lately? Why did they both hide who your father was? Did Seung Hyun know the entire time? What was Seung Hyun saying about not knowing? You were pulled out of your thoughts by a car door shutting, and quick footsteps behind you. "Y/n! Y/n! Would you just stop for a moment!" Seung Hyun demanded, you quickly halted in your spot, slowly turning around to face him "I-I really don't want to talk to you or my mom right now, I'm sorry" You replied softly, feeling bad for saying it, but you just continued on your trail, only stopping whenever your father grabbed your wrist gently "At least get in the car, and get a ride to, I assume, work" Seung Hyun pleaded, he felt terrible for what you were going through, absolutely terrible, but he was also in a whirlwind himself, he was a dad? He had been a dad for the last 17 years? Does that make him a bad one, for not being there?

You'd sit in silence the entire ride, only speaking again whenever Ji-Yong slowly made his way into your recording studio, a place you found yourself being in a lot. "Hey..kiddo" He whispered awkwardly, not really knowing how to start the conversation, you just sighed, turning in your chair to face him. "Seung Hyun told you?" You asked, pulling your knees to your chest as you watched him take a seat on the sofa in front of you. "He told me his feelings. How he feels terrible, that he wasn't there for you, but I don't think it's his fault" Ji-Yong stated, leaning forward to rest his elbows on his knees as he waited for a response. "I don't..know..How can you just not know you have a whole child?" You asked, you still weren't sure how to process your situation, you just felt hurt and confused at the moment. Ji-Yong nodded at your words, taking a moment before leaning back against the sofa "I know it's hard to hear, but he really had no idea, kiddo. I know my hyung, we've been best friends for..well forever, and I know if he did know about having a daughter, he would've done everything for you." He explained, getting choked up by his own words as he remembered how hurt and upset Seung Hyun looked whenever he busted into their shared dorm. "I just don't understand why my mom hid it from me, and even then..who says he wants to be my dad? I'm almost an adult now, a-and I mean, I'm not exactly the best crayon in the box, so why would he?" You rambled, hugging your knees tighter around you, as you felt tears building in your eyes; You had always imagined how it would be, if you finally met your father, but now you were just scared. What if he didn't want or like you as a daughter? What if all of those interactions between you both were just pity? Or something he had to do for work?

"Y/n. I couldn't tell you why your mother hid that from you, I'm sorry..but I can't, kiddo..What I can tell you, is that you are amazing, you're not even an adult yet and how many times have your songs been on the top five? But I think the rest of this conversation, should be with you and your father, I can only tell you so much about how he truly feels, he can tell you better than I can" He whispered, nodding towards the door, you took a deep breath before standing up "I-Is he mad at me?..for not talking to him?" You whispered, pulling the sleeves of your hoodie over your hands nervously, Ji-Yong just shook his head smiling, noticing how much you reminded him of your father.

You slowly entered the BigBang dorm, and into the bedroom, your eyes quickly meeting your father's as you froze, taking in how utterly broken he looked. His hair was a mess, eyes bloodshot from tears, along with his cheeks being tear-stained. "I-I'm so sorry" He started, you just quietly walked over, hugging him tightly, trying your best to hold back your tears as you felt him sob against your shoulder. "I don't blame you..and I'm not that mad at you..but I know you figured it out the other night" You whispered, trying your best to get him to stop crying, you hated it, you hated anybody crying, your biggest goal in life was trying to make others smile, so crying was the exact opposite of what you wanted. "You didn't have a father" He whispered, hugging you tightly, still in disbelief that he had a daughter, an almost adult daughter at that. "I was a pretty good Oppa to myself" You joked, trying yet again to get him to laugh, only proving slightly successful as he stopped crying, not wanting to pull away from the hug yet. "You shouldn't have had to be a father to yourself, or take care of yourself and your mom, I-I should've been there" He whispered, pulling away from your hug for a moment to have you sit next to him at the end of the bed, wrapping his arm around your shoulders gently as he hugged you again "You hug a lot, you know that right?" You laughed, trying to lean away from him, only for him to pull you right back into a hug "I have to make up for seventeen years of hugs, and 'I'm proud of you'- Oh my god! Am I proud of you? So much! I have one of the biggest Idols as my kid! I'm going to brag about that to everybody!" He rambled, causing you to smile softly, your mom had hated the fact you were an Idol, yes, she loved the benefits that came with being an Idol, but she hated everything else about it, so hearing someone close to you was proud, made you want to cry now.

You both sat for what felt like hours, just talking about everything he had missed in your early years of childhood. Eventually you both ended up at his home, him insisting you ate a real dinner, instead of the same cheap pack of noodles every night. As you sat at the kitchen island, you watched as he started plating the food "Do you know why...Umma hid who you were? Why'd you leave? Was it me?" You whispered, tilting your head slightly, wanting to know exactly what the two of them were arguing about, whenever you had walked into your mom's house. "Your mom had her reasons..they weren't very fair reasons...but she had them, As for leaving, I did, but I didn't at the same time, your mom ended things, telling me it was about my career, turns out, it was because she didn't want to share such an amazing kid with any other parents" He explained, not wanting to bash your mother, especially not to you, while he despised your mother for what she had done, he wasn't going as low as talking badly about her to her daughter. "You don't have to lie..I heard you guys through the door, partially" You protested, watching him drop his head in shame with a sigh "She didn't think I was capable of raising a kid" He whispered, hating that he was even talking about the topic with you, frustrated you just shook your head, smacking your hands down on the table "That's so stupid! I wasn't even born yet! How would she know!?" You shouted, standing up as you started to pace the kitchen floor, running a hand through your hair before Seung Hyun stopped you by grabbing your hoodie sleeve gently, pulling you back over to the counter "I agree, I agree, but it's time to eat, so get to the table" He laughed, motioning you away as he followed behind with two plates, and his glass of wine.

After dinner, you were laid sprawled out on the living room floor, Seung Hyun sitting a few feet away on his couch "Please don't die in my floor" He laughed after a moment, watching as you turned your head to look at him "I will die wherever I please, but I might just sleep here" You huffed, moving to slowly climb onto the couch, the meal Seung Hyun had made was absolutely amazing, one of the bests you've ever had. "I don't care if you sleep here, I've got a sofa, or a guest bed, or you can take my room, and I'll take the guest bed" He offered, pointing to each door as he spoke, you just laughed shaking your head "I'll take the guest room, it's your house, and you're like..an old man" You joked, laughing softly as he gave you an offended look, standing up to make your way to the guest room, feeling like you'd fall asleep any moment, you stopped to look back at Seung Hyun. "If it means anything...I think you would've been an awesome Appa..I think you're already an awesome Appa" You whispered before offering him a soft smile, your dad had to hold back tears as he smiled at you softly "It means the world, I think you're an awesome Ttal-a, Y/n" He replied, his voice cracking as he resting a hand over his eyes for a moment, trying his best to hide his tears. "I know" You giggled before shutting the door behind you, moving to lay down on the most comfortable bed, you had ever touched.

As you fell asleep, you contemplated how you were going to talk to your Umma again after this, or even what you'd say. You didn't let yourself think too hard though, falling asleep rather quickly as you heard your father's muffled voice from the living room, most likely on the phone with someone. As you fell asleep, you noticed something you hadn't ever felt before, when falling asleep, you felt comfortable, with no worries, knowing the only thing you had to deal with tomorrow was work. Your life-long search was finally over, yes it hadn't happened how your younger self always pictured, but you wouldn't change it, and you definitely wouldn't change who your Appa was, because for once in your life, you were happy with the answers you had gotten.

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What do we think lovelies? I am SO SO SO Sorry this took so long to post :( My week has been the craziest I've had yet, plus I had my younger brother over for majority of the week, but behold! My newest fic, with more to come!! My likely my next story will 100% be a wedding fic 0.0 so make sure to keep an eye out for me lovely ;)

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[jedisupernova]

falling for a prince — choi seunghyun

notes minors dni contains fem reader (begins with reader being 23, seunghyun 25; progressively age and goes into their late 40s later in the fic), non idol au, unabashedly plus size reader as i am myself but anyone can read, reader has a middle class background, takes place in the 80s, made up details about a fictional royal family and seunghyun's role in it to build dynamic (he is the eldest—the heir to the throne), this is very much slice of life, seunghyun and reader are intellectuals, chronicles courtship; progression of relationship; engagement; married life, very gentle and poetic love that comes around once in a generation, angst (insecurity, dealing with fame, contradictory expectations, invasions of privacy, jealousy, difficulties navigating pregnancy and parenthood, classist and snobbish remarks, body shaming, reader navigating the demanding and nuanced life of a public figure, mentions of sickness and anxiety,) vignettes of smut (p in v, oral f receiving, keeping quiet,) and invitable typos though some are intentional.

requested? this is an original idea! i saw the photo in the header whilst scrolling through pinterest, and this just blossomed in my head. this is very detailed and long. enjoy!

from a young age, seunghyun knew he was important. it was drilled into him since sentience. grown men and women either bowing or curtsying to a toddler as he ran with the dogs in the garden, his nanny scolding the people in the kitchen (before he learned the word chef) when his oatmeal wasn't prepared properly, his mother and father sitting across from him in one of his family's many rolls royces and range rovers; a physical dynamic that would certifiably establish his role and purpose, being taught to scrub the words mom and dad from his vocabulary at age five for the queen and his royal highness when secretaries and other subordinates were around—most of which were not as fiercely practiced with his four siblings (two brothers and two sisters, coincidentally enough.) all except that last rule, however. mother and papa were fine on lax occasions. such as family easter brunch, christmas day, or when one has returned home from a long engagement to fulfill your duties for the boss—a term his eldest sister coined for their mother—herself. the eldest and heir apparent to his nation's throne, seunghyun isn't allotted much wiggle room. but he'll be damned to let antiquity trump autonomy.

he's kept a diary (yes, he calls it as such because words are just words, no matter how hard your youngest brother may laugh at you) since he was a boy. the practice has stayed with him well into his adult life, bemusing himself intermittently reading old entries. no matter his state of mind, he finds himself turning the yellowed pages that were once crisp white, ink still jet black as he read the thoughts of a precocious adolescent whisked away to boarding school as per longstanding royal tradition. putting on a strong face, horrendously underprepared for sudden isolating independence, and thirteen years old, he was surprisingly if not humorously so with hindsight, inquisitive. I have a mom, dad, brothers and sisters. So I have a family. But it feels like a system. We all have a part. I don't know if that makes sense. "it does." he would say to himself in his bedroom in the royal residence he inherited at age eighteen—one of over 150 owned and overseen by the royal family—equipped with seven bedrooms and drawing rooms, despite him being the sole resident apart from his staff. excess was no stranger to the uber wealthy, let alone the royals, but he made due with the space bestowed upon him: writing here . . . reading there . . . painting outside . . . testing a film camera in this garden . . . returning the queen's calls here . . .

for many monarchies around the world—including the one seunghyun was born into—it is historically believed the monarch's right to rule comes directly from the divine. between himself and only himself, he doesn't know if he believes it all that much. he's felt more spiritual than religious all his life from the moment either concept grasped his mere periphery. that's not to say, however, he will suddenly be a no-show to the christmas day church service in which hundreds of civilians camp outside for hours to catch a fleeting glimpse of the family their taxpayer dollars go towards, or reject the holy oil on his coronation day. some traditions have room to be questioned whereas others seem an untouchable force. no matter how deeply seunghyun exhaustively pondered, an alternative felt both irrationally childish and obscenely necessary. he felt his existence was a continuous contradiction: the blood of his ancestors of monarchs past flowing through his veins, but also serving as reminder he just so happened to win the greatest genetic lottery known to humankind. it could have been anyone else, he's thought to himself since he was a teenager, looking at his siblings sat with him at a polo match; all two or three years apart in age, but for some reason, it was me.

in pursuit of modernization, seunghyun has fallen privy to expectation. finishing preparatory story was akin to re-debuting to the world as he was now of age and ready to tread headfirst into the transition of working as a royal full-time. he enrolled at oxford for his undergraduate endeavors—a choice of institution purely by the power of the boss (seunghyun much preferred the programs at harvard.) his english was more proficient than he'd give himself credit for. add it to his arsenal tipped off by his mother tongue, functional japanese, elementary-level french and "just a spot" of italian—he was an intellectual force to be reckoned with. he's remained precocious all his life. surely, a product of being the eldest and therefore the designated thesaurus of all things whatever-my-mind-comes-up-with, but also the one was born to be dependable, reliable, and have all the answers both metaphorically and literally.

It could be an imbalance of pressure, he wrote in his diary a couple weeks after his freshman term began. he was clad in a white ribbed tank top and briefs in bed, cigarette hanging from his lips, fanning himself with his other hand to deal with the faulty air conditioning unit in his dorm room. seunghyun was caught in the memories of helping his younger sisters with their coursework upon his return home from boarding school for the holidays; accosted by the accusatory secretaries of the boss and her husband claiming he wasn't letting his siblings be independent, yet receiving vitriolic blame when their marks weren't high enough. But I am a master at exhausting each working part of my brain, seunghyun scribbled onto the page with his fountain pen, Despite that, I think I've grown. I do not feel that insatiob insatiable nibbling (?) or need for approval as much anymore. Perhaps its been temporarily replaced by undeterred untainted plain determination. I'll see how I feel in a few months time.

seunghyun certainly did, just not in the way he envisioned. just two days—two days—after declaring his dual majors, finding leeway for delving into his interests by choosing political science and physics concentrating on planetary science to scratch both sides of his brain, he was forced to take a two-year leave of absence from university. a few weeks after writing the aforementioned diary entry, a sour public opinion poll was plastered on the front page of one of the nation's top newspapers, alleging over forty percent of the public thought seunghyun was "underserving" as prince. despite the cloudy word choice, the number floating below fifty, and the overall danger of depending on something as fickle as a fucking poll, the queen was somehow cornered and convinced by an advisor to prematurely send seunghyun to a training course prefacing four terms at a military academy.

the idea of serving in the armed forces wasn't outlandish. his father served in the navy; his uncles the air force; his mother and aunts in auxiliary services. it fits the utmost bill of expectation. seunghyun and his siblings have known of this part of their duty since they were children, but it being this early in seunghyun's life was the disorienting bit. here he was again: underprepared, yet forced to put on a strong face. he was eerily silent on the jet and car ride home—blowing his voice and slamming doors after a yelling tirade with the boss and her husband. seunghyun knew there's no world—at least not yet—that he would win the fight, so despite being reduced to frustrated tears in his personal quarters at the palace, some part of him remained dignified that there was even a fight to begin with. he could say something—it'll lead to doing something next, or something shifting into place.

his two-year leave led him to being in your graduating class. countless summer barbecues and holiday dinners where your cousins routinely asked the same question upon arrival: "what's it like going to school with a prince?" to which you always responded, "i haven't seen him around." it's the unequivocal truth despite their animated groans of annoyance. when seunghyun returned to campus harboring a buzz cut growing out handsomely (much to the frustration of his brothers and amused fascination of his father,) and freshly branded with three honorary military titles after barely passing his combat fitness test (he dominated his flying exam though his humbleness deters any need for boasting,) he stayed mostly to himself his first term back at oxford. to reconfigure his mindset and pick up the pieces of the person he left behind, mostly, but also to find his footing. he wasn't seen outside his dormitory hall unless it was for lecture or the library; zeroing in his assigned readings and corresponding coursework before gradually integrating any extracurriculars of interest; meeting his cousin whom was a year above him on the weekends which turned into a rather large friend group. seunghyun knew he did something right when he walked into the dining hall for breakfast one morning to minimal heads turned and watchful eyes, leaving him and his mushroom omelette to just be.

you only saw him once the entirety of your undergraduate pursuits. once—and it was fleeting; seeing him walk hurriedly down one of the campus gardens, presumably late for something. upon reading in the paper that he was studying political science as well, you were remised to not feel slight disappointment from having no shared lectures or even damn tutors. not that you thought you had a chance . . . that never percolated in your mind . . . but it would've been nice to actually and tangibly see him, or perhaps hear his voice. him and his family were continuously all over the papers and covered in news broadcasts; ever-present around the globe, even reaching yours—though everything and nothing was known about them. its on purpose, you figured, as it did seem like the proper formula for the elite, let alone someone from the aristocracy: move with muted grace, but not without them knowing first. however, when this one in a trillion chance of fate aligned—going to college with a goddamn prince—it was completely understandable to be at least somewhat interested or curious about him . . . he was rather handsome . . . and seemed secure in himself . . .

your time at oxford was lively nonetheless. you were one of a small group of students whom was offered a full scholarship to the university—a direct result of your academic tenacity, your family scrounging the funds together to buy you an airplane ticket for your admissions interview, and the universe patting you on the back for your efforts. that's not to say it hasn't been difficult: it took nearly an entire term to mend the visceral homesickness that nauseated your heart and stomach, and a few failed essays to adjust to the different style of coursework and grading scheme. you were fortunate to find a tight knit group of friends who just understood you; a metaphorical warmth to embrace you in the library or anywhere, exhausted by the various part-time jobs you held to afford the international calling cards necessary to phone home, and just have pocket money in general. you graduated the top five percent in the college you studied under at university, landing you and two of your closest friends well-paying jobs in the city. a month after graduating, you were splitting rent on a modest townhouse with those two friends—happy, content, and for the first time in a long while, stable. the prince was long gone from your periphery. those sort of paths aren't meant to cross, anyway—until they did.

around a year later, tipping off the summer of 1984, the landline rang in the kitchen. it was a friend from college, passing knowledge of a get-together in the coming weekend to your flatmate who picked up the phone in the middle of dinner. "everyone who's graduated last year's coming up to the village again for drinks—to catch up and such. it was initially more intimate, but now with what i've last heard, its on the precipice of growing out of control," she giggled into the receiver. "can i count on you fun lot to be there? its next weekend—the 21st." you three took the train up to oxford the following saturday, dropping your overnight bags off at a frequented village hostel before heading to the listed pub later that evening. it was certainly bustling—the amount of people surrounding three small tables pushed together, making use of one side being one long cushioned booth whilst the others grabbed chairs from wherever they could—squashing the simplified explanation of its saturday night, illustrating that, indeed, an impromptu college reunion had unintentionally blown out of proportion.

you felt alive again—laughing the hardest you had in a long time, trading endearingly awkward anecdotes with friends you last saw on move-out day; basking in shared timidity of not knowing how to be adults whatsoever, and gradually drinking your pint. you hadn't scratched the halfway point, but it was a hell of a lot better than when you first arrived in britain all those years ago, barely able to stomach the malt and earthy flavor, let alone the amount of money you wasted to partake in the nightlife. it was when you wiped the foam from your top lip with your napkin after taking a sip that you saw the prince sat on the opposite end of the makeshift long table—on the booth side, just one or two people away from the corner. he looked deep in his own conversation, dabbing a handkerchief on the sweat building at his temple, his other hand nonverbally accentuating whatever point he was making to his friends before reaching in into the stack of peanuts between them, crushing one idly before eating the savory snack. you tried to keep your surprise muted, but your flatmate and friend—the first one you made at oxford—knew your widened eyes better than anyone else. sat on the chair side, she's been waiting for you, or anyone she knows, to notice seunghyun. she leaned in, a hand on your arm, "i know, right?" she said. "properly out of control." you giggled with her like schoolgirls at a sleepover, faces hot with giddiness.

seunghyun noticed you later on in the night, pushing his glasses up the bridge of his nose in the midst his conversation with the live band playing in the pub. no one had felt tied to the table anymore, dispersing throughout the room. you and your friends stayed put, taking advantage of the added space. you moved completely to the booth side, arm relaxed atop the table with your hand propping your head up, laughter ringing out of you; entering the reminiscing-about-college part of the night. "i still can't believe i somehow churned 2,500 words out of me. in four hours, and weekly, mind you!" a friend tsked from the other side of the table. "i couldn't figure out for the life of me how to balance that with my dissertation." "those assigned readings were the bane of my existence." you added, a flurry of agreed nods paired with a friend who was particularly more tipsy letting out a slurred yet very parliamentarian "hear-hear," in support. "i mean—it'd say chapter five, but then chapter five would be a ghastly one hundred pages long. it was actually impossible on top of everything else. so many days where personal hygiene was compromised . . ." you erupted in laughter, catching seunghyun's ear.

he grinned to himself, the shared joy palpable despite not being in on the conversation. his swift glance turned into a lingering stare, quickly looking away when you got up. "i won't be long. you said that bathroom was just around the right? alright—thank you." you turned the corner, another person walking by when you past him. seunghyun looked over his shoulder, gradually turning around, his eyes following you until you disappeared behind the swinging washroom door. he found himself waiting, half-listening to the keyboardist go on about his prospects at college. when you emerged again, seunghyun's posture straightened, hands going into his pockets until the perspiration of his palms made itself known. you stepped to the side, inadvertently planting yourself a couple feet away from him, making room for what looked to be a group of co-workers walking by. your eyes met momentarily, feeling your heart freeze, somehow moving your head into a polite nod. seunghyun mimicked you, feeling the same grin from before stretching his mouth once again. he took a step closer, his voice next to your ear practically sending you into cardiac arrest before you could scuttle away.

"you have a very beautiful laugh." he said. you turned your head, looking up at him, seeing him scratch his chin; trying to find a word. "prolific." he spoke, looking into your eyes. "i don't think i've heard anything like it before." "t-thank you." you nodded. your mouth felt dry and your chest pounded as if you were in trouble—which didn't make any sense, because he was being perfectly polite. normal, even. but its who he is that's terrifying me, your inner monologue was screaming. like if i say something, i'll be black-bagged and taken away. "that's very kind of you to say." you told him, your arms akin to jelly and brain on auto-pilot. "i do like to . . . laugh." you descended into an embarrassed exhale, unsure of what to say. seunghyun chuckled, his eyes kissing at their respective ends. "that's always good." he concurred. "i'm seunghyun." he rested his palm atop his chest. "its lovely to meet you." you introduced yourself, shaking his hand when he extended it. he internally cringed at himself—i probably shouldn't've done that, his inner monologue voiced; too late to retract his hand. you then asked the question that would eventually lead to a new era of the royal family: "were you also—" you cleared your throat, nerves nowhere near subsiding. "were you also here for the—the, sort of— impromptu oxford reunion?"

your friends read the room and left you alone, eyes drifting over sneakily when you and seunghyun sat at your own small table, him flagging someone down and ordering drinks for the both of you. seunghyun was a skilled conversationalist and put you at ease surprisingly quickly, satisfied upon noticing your relaxed posture as you went on about your time at college. "i can't believe we haven't met before." he said, taking a sip from his drink. "i mean, we studied the same subject and all." your eyes softened, if only he knew i thought the same thing, "i know. it is rather peculiar." you said, smiling when he let out a laugh. "peculiar indeed." when your friends decided to call it a night, they tried to hurry their goodbyes as to not take you away from him, but seunghyun's niceties activated quickly. "i don't want to keep you from your friends—" "—its alright—you're not keeping her away!" your eldest friend interjected, shaking her head with a grand smile. "we're staying at the hostel just a few blocks down. its not a problem at all." with that, seunghyun nodded, bidding his goodnights to them; seeing her shoot a wink at you before heading out the door, smirking upon casting his eyes on your sheepish expression.

"i'm sorry, she can be very—" "—supportive?" he cut you off. "that's one way of saying it, yes." you chuckled nervously. he found it sweet, eyes tenderly cast on you. "i'm quite thankful for her, then." on the walk home an hour later, seunghyun's head was stirring. he walked wordlessly next to you on the side closest to the road, pondering on what to do next once you two reached your hostel. you glanced at him from the side, feeling warmth travel up from your neck into your cheeks from something other than the summer night humidity at the sight of his hands behind his back in an admittedly very princely manner. you had no way of knowing this, despite the pose feeling very familiar from photos you've seen in the paper, but its the way he's carried himself since he can remember—mimicking his father and his grandfather before him. you finally got to see his outfit outside of the dimly-lit bar: a white short-sleeve button up tucked neatly into jeans, complemented by a dark brown belt and adidas trainers. its like those tabloid photos of him and his family have come to life before you, with the addition of his cloudy round wire-frame glasses from the heat; seunghyun's forgetfulness to clean them; and his prescription eye contacts not coming in on time.

"this is me." you came to a halt in front of a brick building. "i had a—" the nerves returned when your eyes met. "i had a wonderful time tonight. thank you for everything, seunghyun." it felt so strange to say his name so casually though he introduced himself as such—how many royal protocols am i breaking? he admired the sight of you: hair slightly frizzy from the heat, skin glowing in the lingering humidity, shirt endearingly wrinkled. "its been nothing short of a pleasure." seunghyun nodded, eyes soft. the sound of your sweet, soft laugh made his brain briefly short-circuit, speaking before thinking clearly. "goodnight." "goodnight." you said back to him gently, not surprised yet feeling bittersweet disappointment. for a fleeting moment, you believed this was the start of something. but, alas, seunghyun is seunghyun, and you are you. a prince and a commoner—a tale too good to be true. perhaps this night was destined to become part of your story-telling rolodex, unexpectedly dropping it on your grandchildren in fifty years time.

he turned to make his way back to the pub and to his car when you started climbing the stairs. not even five steps in, however, did his chest sink to a level so deep that an alarm rang ferociously in his head. i'm making a grave mistake, seunghyun turned around, quickly jogging to the bottom of the stairs. "can i call you?" "hm?" you turned around, about to enter your key into the door lock. "can i—" the nerves caught in his throat, swallowing. "may i call you? i'd like to . . . i'd like to get to know you better. i'm starting my masters here in the fall, and i'd like to have a familiar face." he had plenty, but its the first thing he could think of to keep himself tethered to you. you smiled, glancing at the pavement below your feet. "y-yes, you may." you said. "have you—do you have something i can write our landline number on?" "i—" he patted his pockets—nothing. "i don't." shit. "i'm sorry—" "its not a problem," you attempted to troubleshoot this quickly. "i'm sure there's something in the hostel—" you thought aloud, looking down at him. "would you mind coming in for a second? i just want to make sure i give it to you." you chuckled nervously, seeing the smile on his face. "of course." he climbed up the stairs, sending your flatmates listening behind the door into a frenzy. "go! go—that way!" your eldest friend whispered in panic, the both of them scurrying to the other room.

thus began a new chapter in either of your lives. seunghyun worked towards his masters in art history on the weekdays at oxford, traveling to the city discreetly to visit his girlfriend on the weekends. you worked your nine to five as a policy analyst for a non-profit on the weekdays, taking the tube home to find a deliveryman walking to your gate the same time you were, holding a vase filled with flowers from your boyfriend; the note signed with an S, sneaking him in through the backdoor when he arrived late-friday evenings and left sunday night. you made meals together and took walks around the park, sharing your first kiss underneath a weeping willow tree. his hands were politely behind his back as per habit, stilled even in your holding of his face. "you can hold me, you know." you murmured. "oh, right. yes—" his hands found your waist, gliding warmly to your lower back, bringing you in, "come here, then." he kissed you tenderly, feeling and hearing your amused chuckle against him.

your flatmates were over the moon for you—exhilarated by being in on one of the most exclusive and secretive relationships in the world. seunghyun's upbringing taught him to get along well with just about everyone—having no problem chatting politely with your friends on the phone when they were the ones to pick up, waiting for you to come down to the kitchen. speaking of the landline, it was just that singular one in the entire townhome. the cord could only go so far, so when you had enough of standing or pacing, you pulled a chair against the wall. where seunghyun was staying in the surrounding oxford area, his staff watched in amusement at him dragging the connecting cable and cord to his bedroom to lay comfortably in his bed whilst speaking with you, holding in their laughter when they heard his shoes skid against the floor.

you traded annotated books, reading the pages in each other's voices; ways of thinking; inner monologues. he adored your scribbles and you his chicken scratch, though legibility was another conversation entirely: "is it a prerequisite for future monarchs to write so messily?" you heard seunghyun laugh from his end of the line. "i can hardly make out your thoughts on frost." "he's one of my favorite poets. that's really all there is to know about that," he chuckled. "the queen's penmanship is wonderful, if i'm to be candid. and your's is not all that better than mine, my love." an upside down grin pulled the corners of his mouth. "and the choice of red has me feeling i'm reading a marked essay instead of hemingway." he let out a hearty laugh at your groan and tutted good-faith insult, his face feeling warmer than before. there was equal, if not more, admiration when your eyes were casted on his mother language, thumb dotingly grazing the text before reaching his rushed etchings. you couldn't understand, but you could feel.

perhaps the rumors swirling around your four month anniversary could be attributed to your trips to the back of the movie theater; sneaking kisses between scenes, trips to the farmer's market every other sunday; clad in sunglasses and baseball caps, though a few papparazzi took some nondescript photos of you two—landing on the boss's desk, or driving with the windows of his range rover down; rolling them up once seunghyun pulled into an empty parking lot, your antics in the backseat blacked out by the glass. before seunghyun left for the weekend to see you, he routinely reminded his personal secretary to "only page me if the queen has been compromised, the family's in trouble, or if we've been found out," leading to many peaceful nights in your bed. he falls asleep so easily with the warmth of your plush body nuzzled into his chest; lovingly encased in his arms. light, content snores emit from either seunghyun and yours' nostrils after making love, failed attempts at silencing your lustful moans and whimpers through half-covered mouths—the squeaking of your metal bed frame saying enough to your flatmates if they went got up in the middle of the night to use the bathroom.

having a future monarch's head between your thighs, his hair messy and noises of his mouth and tongue suckling your clit so poetically lewd, was a sight to see and experience to behold. his soft palms moved romantically up and down your sides and stomach, tenderly yet briskly kneading your rolls, savoring the feeling of your stretch marks against his fingers—marks of the divine he calls them in his head—moaning lowly against your puffy lips, his hands making their way up to your perky breasts. "feel me." he egged, vibrations of his low voice against you making your eyes roll back. "feel me. feel my tongue." "o—oh—just like t-that—just like that!" you begged in a pitchy whisper. seunghyun looked up from his place being so hotly squished between your thick thighs, moving your stomach a little to make view of your face. how he wishes he occupied the talent to immortalize such beauty on a canvas whilst sat in his garden at home . . . the sheen of your supple skin nurtured by your building sweat, disheveled hair messily strewn along your forehead and pillow, lips slightly swollen from the heavy kisses you shared moments before you blessed him with your taste, eyebrows upturned, mouth agape, calling his name so delicately . . . he closed his eyes, continuing his ministrations, encouraging you to fasten your grip around his head with his palms on either sides of your thighs.

shortly before the holidays, you and seunghyun mutually agreed to tell your parents about your relationship. "i love you too much to keep being so secretive." he leaned down, planting a purposefully long kiss onto your cheek. you tsked, taking your eyeliner pencil away from your lid, seeing seunghyun smirking above you. "you're going to make me poke my eye out, seunghyun." you tutted, only to soften once meeting his eyes. "i love you, too." you moved closer, signaling for him to come down, pressing a sweet kiss onto his lips. "now behave and let me finish my makeup. we have to leave in twenty minutes." "will do." seunghyun was about to leave his spot leaning against the bathroom sink, quickly kissing your temple before you went in with your eyeliner, scurrying away when you turned, seeing him sat on the cushioned toilet lid cover. "you are the purest of evil." your smile gave you away. "ouch." he clutched his heart foolishly, your collective laughter rivaling the lionel richie cassette playing in the living room down the hall, intermittently interrupted by commotion in the kitchen.

your townhome was filled with either of your friend groups, gearing up for a night out together. you set the black eyeliner pencil down when it was to your liking, trading it out for mascara. seunghyun looked down at his wrist, fixing his watch. a question pestered his mind: "do you think your parents will like me?" "i think in any world—in every alternate dimension," your intonation was minutely altered, your mouth hanging open in the midst of applying mascara onto your eyelashes. "i should be the one asking you that question." you switched to your left eye, seunghyun exhaling through his nostrils. "i'm serious, my love. i can't help but be a bit anxious." "it means that you care." you answered, hearing him hum in acknowledgement. "don't be too hard on yourself. there's already so many other things pressuring you unfairly." "i know." "i'm happy you care, seunghyun. they'll really like you, i just know it." you screwed your lid of your mascara until it tightened. "although," seunghyun looked up, unsure of what you were going to say next. "they may not believe me for . . . obvious reasons." an amused grin tugged at his mouth. "i might require photographic evidence. or a court document." you threw in the latter to thwart off your increasingly flustered state. "i see." seunghyun let out a laugh. "i'm more than happy to oblige."

your gaze fell to the sink, avoiding his. "come here." you beckoned. seunghyun got up, taking the two steps it took to be in front of you; the bathroom wasn't spacious whatsoever. the moment your palms rested on his biceps, his arms made residence around your waist, pulling you in. "you look very pretty." he spoke softly, voice characteristically low. "i do?" the playful grin on your face said you knew the answer. "mhm," seunghyun nodded, feeling your hand travel up his chest, settling behind his neck. "very much so." "well, since you're being so nice," you closed the gap a little, but not entirely, "and so well-behaved." the breath of his chuckle tickled your skin, bringing your lips to his. seunghyun reconnected them feeling either of your hands hold the back of his neck—the kiss slow, intentional; intimate.

he rested his cheek against your temple when you turned your head away. "i have an idea." you said aloud, picking your black eyeliner from your makeup bag. "i wouldn't be opposed," said seunghyun. "but that's not going onto my eyes, is it?" "no," you shook your head. "but stay still nonetheless." "alright. have at it." you undid the first three buttons of his shirt, seeing the suggestive look on his face immediately. "don't look at me like that." you muttered, bringing the pencil to his exposed chest. he leaned in, pressing a kiss to your forehead, much to your endearing protest. "stop scheming. i told you to stay still." "i'm not scheming. i'm loving you." "you can be so horrifyingly cliché that it somehow morphs into charm." "thank you." he exhaled, mouth molding into a sheepish smile. "have a look." you told him, putting the cap on the pencil, taking a step back to allot seunghyun room to look in the mirror. what reflected back at him brought out the smuggest grin ever to grace mankind.

KING—not written in lettering large enough to rival a billboard, but legible to the point of it being irrefutable. "is it in case i forget?" he asked, looking at you through the mirror. "yes," you nodded, playing along. "the idea was more attractive in my head, but after the first letter i realized it would've been much easier with lipstick. it was too late to stop, though." seunghyun turned around, facing you entirely. "i can wet a cotton pad and—" "—no, no. its fine." seunghyun shook his head in quick reassurance. it clicked for you when he buttoned his shirt. "i like it. it can be our little thing." he said earnestly. "we'll try it next time with your lipstick—the deep red one." you smiled with a nod, suddenly wishing you weren't going out tonight. "okay." your voice was notably quieter. seunghyun was winning; his admiring grin on full display. your face sunk into your palms, "you truly can be so horrible to me sometimes." you complained, gentle tone contrasting with your rhetoric, feeling his arms find your waist. "how am i supposed to go out in this state?" "poor you," he tutted playfully. "so worked up over a bit of teasing." "you're awful."

before the three taxis arrived, the polaroid camera was passed around, decorating your kitchen counter with developing photos. a good number with friends, your flatmates, and seunghyun—one took candidly of you two standing together in the hall; you sat on his lap on the couch, arms around one another, grand smiles on your faces; stood up, his arms around you, cheeks pressed together—all of which you took home to show your parents when you flew home for christmas. your father was flabbergasted; your mother shocked. so many questions were hurled at you, and you answered all of them. excitement soon ensued, you having to hound your father away from the phone, halting his pursuit of calling a travel agency to book a flight to meet seunghyun. "he's telling his parents this holiday, too. i'll let you know when its a good time." "you mean the queen?" your mother raised her eyebrows. "wow—it really must be real if you're talking about them so casually."

much to seunghyun's surprise, his parents were more approving than he anticipated. sure enough, the critical look in their eyes said the trial's only just begun, but in terms of his past girlfriends, this had to be the smoothest sailing yet thus far. arrangements to meet you were quickly set into motion, his mother asking nearby staff to call for her personal secretary—seunghyun stopped her, setting his utensils down. "i would like to meet her parents first." he said. "i want us to be on an equal playing field." "surely, yes," his father spoke knowingly from across the table. "but does she happen to know who your mother is?" "full well, yes." seunghyun answered, nodding. "but, i want to take a step forward in modernizing the monarchy, as i've always desired. this would be an admittedly minute step, yes, but it could set something in motion. she has the ability—the confidence. tenacity, too." he explained. "i would like for us to meet each other's families before our relationship becomes public." "before her life is altered indefinitely, you meant to say." his mother interjected, taking a sip of her water.

seunghyun's shoulders felt heavier—the impending reality weighing down on him. "yes." he answered truthfully. "as you wish." said the queen. "i trust your judgment." he flew your parents out to britain in february, a few days after your first valentine's day together, meeting them during dinner at your townhome. he was a nervous wreck the night before and morning off, his rambles keeping you on the phone instead of preparing for their arrival ("does your mother prefer chocolates or perfume?" "just get her flowers, seunghyun." "oh my goodness, how could i have forgotten that? how about your father? what kind of ties does he like? or is he a cologne—" "—seunghyun, baby, if i don't vaccum right now, i'm going to lose my mind.")

your parents were elated to meet him. seunghyun hurdled through their interrogation with poise, despite having to clear his throat from time to time to thwart nerves. he made a good impression, exemplified by how your father patted him on the back and your mother embraced him like a son-in-law before settling into the taxi, heading to their hotel. you were officially slotted to cordially meet his family come may, ushering in summer 1985; seunghyun receiving his masters degree; closing in on one year together—until his pager beeped in late april. it was around 11:30 pm that friday night. you were laid together in bed: you having just taken the cap off your deep red lipstick, seunghyun's shirt unbuttoned. "is everything okay?" you asked, tone laced with concern. seunghyun shuffled through his dufflebag, pulling out his brick mobile, extending the antenna. "yes—i just have to call my secretary." he dialed, bringing the phone to his ear. his mind rifled through those three reasons he set forth for paging, painstakingly wondering which one it could be . . .

"your royal highness?" "yes, hello—can you hear me?" "i can, sir, yes." "is it the worst possible news?" "no, sir. thankfully not. but you're not going to like this either. i'll get straight to it—" the conversation was in his mother tongue. you gradually sat up, waiting patiently. seunghyun sat down on the edge of the bed, running his hand through his hair. though you couldn't understand, you saw he was listening intently to whatever the information was —either humming "mhm" or saying something with the cadence of a question. "its everywhere, sir," his secretary said into the receiver. "not just at home, but international outlets as well. i was able to receive faxes of the cover stories ahead of time—but there is no way out. they will be published come morning." seunghyun's shoulders didn't sink just yet. "the photos are clear. she will be identified immediately. it will be a matter of hours before the press find her residence."

seunghyun sighed. here it was: the brute, unforgiving, oncoming force touching down in less than twelve hours. with the time difference, mother and papa will find out with the rest of the world, his inner monologue reeled, hiding his face behind his palm. your worry intensified, but kept it at bay, knowing it was unreasonable to ask whilst he was still on the phone. "i suggest you leave now, sir. to avoid compromising your safety—" "—and leave her to the wolves? is that really what you want me to do? there's no world where i am cruel enough to do such a thing." "sir, with all due respect," his secretary cleared his throat. "she was—she was aware this would happen, right?" seunghyun hung up.

he hastily shoved the antenna down, holding the phone with his right hand, his left running over his face. "seunghyun?" your palm traced his shoulder, bringing him back down to earth. but he wasn't sure if this was the planet he wanted to be on at the current moment. he set the phone down on the floor, turning to face you. "that was my secretary." he explained. "my love, they know. we'll be in the papers in the morning—everywhere in a matter of hours." you didn't freeze, but the shock rattled your chest. you knew this day would come at some point—it wasn't unexpected, but in fact established in open conversation when you first started dating. however, its one thing to hear about something, and another to experience it. "we've talked about this before—" "i know, seunghyun. i'm okay." you assured. he huffed, conflicted thoughts permeating the furrow of his eyebrows. "do you want to come to oxford? where i'm staying? i can have the car ready as soon as possible." you contemplated for a moment, ultimately shaking your head. "i can't do that to them, seunghyun."

he knew you were referring to your flatmates. before he could protest, you get out of bed, making your way to the door. "i'll go tell them now—so they can prepare for the morning." "they? what about you?" seunghyun stood to his feet. "seunghyun," you let out a breath. "i've long made my decision since the moment i went on a date with you—since the moment i had a drink with you at the bar." you said, gesturing to your side, but in your head it was the aforementioned memories. "like you've said, we've talked about what's coming, and now its here. if i run away now, there's no point. i have to face them. it might as well be tomorrow." part of you knew you had no idea what you were talking about, that there was no true way to grasp the severity of circumstance until you're thrusted into it. your stubbornness persisted. "my love, you're not running away—" you cut him off by leaving the room, heading up the stairs, knocking on your eldest friend's door first.

a debrief occurred in the kitchen until three am—the makeshift council deciding it was best for seunghyun to return to oxford before morning. "please don't think differently of me." he pleaded into your neck, holding onto you so tightly it was as if you would wither away. "i won't." you said earnestly. "you're the best thing thats ever happened to me." he lifted his head, looking into your eyes. "please—please, i beg of you, don't let these vermin take you away from me." "i won't." you repeated. "come here." you said softly, molding your lips with his. he returned the sentiment, kissing you harder, his hands holding your face in his palms. "i love you so dearly." seunghyun whispered. "i love you more." you whispered back. "page me when you're home safe, okay?"

it was horrendous. catastrophic. absolute pandemonium. the night's deliberations led to the arrangement of your flatmate driving you to work. there were a handful of reporters outside that morning as the news waves hadn't entirely penetrated yet in those early hours—you kept your head down and sped walked to the car. however, stepping foot outside lended your location as if you paged the entire nation, and coming home was a disaster-filled saga. over fifty paparazzi booked it to the car—the clattering of camera shutters continuous as if an off button wasn't an option. your name was hurled at you like a frantic, hunger-filled insult, followed by some of the most invasive questions no one in your close circle could've ever drawn up. by primetime, everyone around the world knew your name and how to spell it.

you tried to exit more discreetly through the backdoor, but the press soon figured that one out, forcing you back to the front entrance. much to your benefit, you became rather skilled at strategically scurrying away—though some reporters more agile than you would give you a run for your money, shoving a microphone in your face as they frantically looked back and forth from you and their cameraman, asking any question ranging from "has his royal highness spoken with you today?" to "how do you think your prospects are to serve as queen?" it escalated to finding you on grocery runs or simply out and about running errands and living normally—the papers all filled with photos of you walking with your head down, hand covering your face. you told seunghyun exactly what you needed: "i need protection," you told him over the phone. "a driver, for a start. her poor ford escort can only take so much." he also arranged for your parents to have security, putting his own money down to pay for the cost.

it then escalated to the point of no return. reporters were knocking—some breaking and entering—your neighbor's homes in hopes of getting intel on you; photographers climbing power poles to zoom in on your windows, leading to blankets being strung up for privacy, and somehow someway the leaking of your landline number; cutting the cord after it rang for over fourteen hours. after two months of mayhem, your flatmate couldn't take it anymore. "they've started contacting my family," she said, wheeling her suitcases out through the backdoor, the rest of her belongings in her car. "i have to draw the line." that night was dreadful—a harrowing image of you sat in the living room with deepened eye bags and a thousand yard stare, commotion of reporters behind a strung up blanket. the couch dipped next to you, your eldest friend bringing you into her arms. "i really can't blame her," you cried. "i—i don't—" "—its okay, its okay." she comforted. "at least marry him so we can get a party out of all of this." she smiled hearing your meek laughter, holding you closer.

when you wouldn't give an interview (or in other words, compromise your privacy for nasty people whom you owed nothing; you and seunghyun weren't even engaged yet) then came the unsavory photos published, op-eds written, and outright lies spread. your middle-class background was villainized to falsely frame you as a gold digger ("i've learned quickly that there's nothing people hate more than those who defy their heinously preconceived notions." you told your flatmate over wine one night); photos of you with an accentuated double chin from struggling to open the car door, a body roll somewhat visible in the millisecond it took you to fix your blouse, an angled photo of your legs taken when you were throwing the garbage out; digitally manipulated to over-exaggerate your natural cellulite were intentionally plastered on the front pages with unfavorable headlines digging at your body. some language tip-toed and was more fluffy whilst others were unabashed: Princess Piggy; Biting off More Than She Can Chew?; Local retailer says she won't carry size "Infinity XL" anymore. your body was treated akin to a moral failing. you remained strong, but felt yourself begin to chip away. you were only human, after all.

seunghyun wanted to set the world on fire. he didn't attend his ceremony, receiving his masters degree quietly before being made to fly back home for good old-fashioned damage control. he donned his round wire frames for a softer, more approachable look, shaking the hands and greeting the hundreds of people waiting to see him outside of the research center he just cut the ribbon for. many were supportive, handing him flowers and other gifts whilst saying "she's so beautiful!" or "you two are such a fine match, bring her home soon! the country wants to meet her!", swiftly walking past anyone stepping over a boundary with their question or remark—until a reporter had something to say. seunghyun didn't overhear what he said at first ("your royal highness, how could you—with someone so below you!") since he was accepting a small bouquet of daises grown in a garden of a mother of four, but looked up before being ushered to the car. "its an embarrassment, sir! you're a future king!" the cameraman caught him, and the mic picked up on his voice: "you could only be so lucky."

you were flown out to meet his family in june. driven hours into the remote countryside to a castle ("i've grown up calling it an estate. its the queen's favorite of our holiday homes." "this is not the time for semantics, seunghyun. thats a fucking granite and slate castle.") the day before his siblings and parents were to arrive. seunghyun gave you a tour of the grounds whilst your luggage was carried in and set up in your quarters by staff—the greenest, crunchiest cabbage growing in the garden; ten tangerine trees scattered throughout a neighboring courtyard; the distant stable, just a mile away from a freshwater stream ("the horse i've known since my childhood is still with us. i named him ben—i was probably around nine years old." "when i was that age, i was just lucky enough to see one in a field during a long car ride."); and the part of the castle you two were staying in—seunghyun reciting facts about various portraits, art pieces, and overall architecture of one of the homes he grew up in ("do see those engravings—just by the chandelier? they've been there for over four hundred years." "that's older than me." "yes, me too, my love."; "my mother and papa usually stay just down that hall." "seunghyun, your parents are just going to be around the corner? and you're just telling me this now?")

as the evening progressed, your nerves did, too. perhaps it was the staff prefacing your surname with "miss" when addressing you, the three course dinner you had looking over massive, fruitful acreage, or staring into the eyes of seunghyun's generations-old ancestor painted onto canvas, almost falling after leaning on what was both part of the library but also dually acting as a secret door into another room, practicing your curtsy an infinite amount of times in the bathroom along with reviewing how to address certain members of his family did it all start to feel a bit too real. you didn't sleep a wink, tossing and turning whilst seunghyun slept peacefully at your side. at half three in the morning, you got up, quietly leaving the bedroom to clear your mind. you didn't stray too far, only going down the long corridor connecting the landing of the staircase to where you were staying for the duration of this trip. the ceilings are so high. its like a different altitude up there, you thought to yourself, craning your neck upwards.

your fingers brushed against the top of the wainscot rails lining the wide walls, turning the corner, finding yourself stood in front of the same portrait as before. it was humungous. the man was aged and dignified, demonstrated in his pristine posture and polite expression. though the portrait had evidence of upkeep and attempts at restoration in its scratched golden frame and crinkled corners, if you looked close enough, you could see where seunghyun got his looks from—those kind brown eyes, smooth nose bridge, and prominent ears didn't spring out of nowhere. it was one thing to know he comes from a lineage so indescribably powerful and influential, but entirely another to see it for yourself, and the person before you wasn't even alive anymore. your eyebrows furrowed, thinking i wonder when this was commissioned. you took a step closer, eyeing what looked to be white numbers in the corner. your stomach churned—1679. you clutched your mouth, running to where you remember the bathroom was, retching into the toilet.

seunghyun stirred awake. senses exhausted in interrupted slumber, he noticed you were gone, along with the subtle shin of the morning sun beginning to purify the curtains. he turned onto his left side, aimlessly grabbing the clock on the nightside table, squinting at the time reading 5:17 AM. he put it back, hand patting the surface to feel for his glasses, putting them before sitting up. a yawn escaped his lips after opening the door, shuffling his bare feet against the carpeted floors. he crossed his arms over his chest, walking halfway down the hall before spotting your head in the sitting room. "my love?" his voice was low, another yawn leaving him. "is that you?" "yes, seunghyun." "come back to bed, baby," he approached the couch you were sat at, sitting down next to you. "its so early." he muttered, eyes still half-closed, pressing a kiss to your temple. "is there a reason you're up? is everything okay?" he asked, rubbing the remaining exhaustion out of his eyes.

you were upfront. there's no point in sugarcoating it, even if the timidity of your voice contradicted that. "i'm very nervous about meeting your family." you whispered. "i haven't slept at all. i was—i was looking at the painting of your . . . your—" "uncle with too many 'greats' before his name that no one cares enough to say." seunghyun nodded after clarifying. you couldn't help the smile stretching your mouth, or the amused exhale leaving your nostrils. he always had such a way of alleviating pressure through humor. despite what others may think, he never really took himself too seriously. "yes, him." you chuckled. "i saw the date the painting was commissioned and i just . . . i just fell apart. your family's history, seunghyun . . . i am no match for it. i don't know who i think i am being here." you shook your head, looking at him pleadingly. he shut that shit down quickly, shaking his head. "nope, we're not doing this," he tutted. "not now. not ever." he moved closer to you, taking your hand in his. "we've talked about this before, my love." his voice was smooth. "you belong here just as much as i do." "thats whats wrong!" you exclaimed. "i don't—" you stuttered, frustrated. "its hard for me to share that feeling. this is all so—its all so big, seunghyun. what if . . . what if your parents don't like me? or your siblings? i don't have the faintest clue of what i'm doing. they're going to see right through me today."

"you do know what you're doing." seunghyun corrected you. "in the way you round the press up like cattle and rightfully give them nothing in return, you know exactly what you are doing. the fact that you have suffered so much these last two months, and still agreed to come here with me, shows that you know what you are doing." he didn't stutter a single vowel, let alone take his eyes off of you. "you already have the spine." said seunghyun. "but its only been two months since we've gone public," you countered, him listening carefully. "what if i break? what if they break me? they've already turned on how i look. who's to say it won't be how i dress next, or how i drink from a glass of water? or how much space i take up in a fucking photo?" you ranted. a long breath escaped your lungs, eyes closing momentarily. "i know its part of the package—part of dating a future king." you said. "i know that i'll be torn to bits. fodder for gossip, target of jealousy, receiver of criticism both deserved and not. i know it so well that it weighs down on my skull, even in its infancy." you lifted your head, meeting his eyes. "but my soul is fragile, seunghyun. i'm am only a human." you shook your head, feeling your eyes become misty. "i'm not—i'm not supernatural."

"that's precisely why i want you here." seunghyun leaned closer to you. "i feel your warmth when i hold your hand. embrace you, kiss your lips. i feel it in your gaze when you look for me across the room. that's not a feeling i've known often in my life." he shook his head. "i was born into a kind of privilege i will never be able to fully understand before i leave this earth. but—but affection, space to listen and be listened to in return, to be so naturally loved . . . those are luxuries my lineage will never be able to afford. you are not a husk. you have a beating heart." his thumb ran gently over your quivering bottom lip. "what if they turn me into one?" your voice barely trailed above a whisper. seunghyun didn't hesitate in his answer: "i would abdicate before i let that happen to you, my love."

you blinked, suddenly feeling hot tears stream down your face, your fingers swiftly flicking them off. "i never thought it was possible to love someone as much as i love you." your voice quivered, an emotional frown tugging at the corners of your mouth, avoiding looking at him in fear you would cry harder. "me neither." his eyes twinkled. he leaned in, hands coming up holding either side of your face before you stopped him. "i—" you glanced down, embarrassment filling your chest. "i vomited earlier. in the . . . in the bathroom." seunghyun turned your head, bringing his lips to your warming cheek instead. "if i knew you felt so uneasy, i would've pushed this trip back." he spoke to you so tenderly, as if you were the only two people in the world. "i just needed assurance." you told him softly. "do you feel reassured?" he genuinely asked. "almost entirely." "come," seunghyun stood on his feet, tugging gently at your hand. "let's go for a walk. it helps clear my mind. i'm sure it'll help you, too."

you walked hand in hand underneath the rising morning sun, ankles tickled by the remnants of the previous evening's sprinkled rainfall soaked into the grass. the door into the horse stable was wide open, seunghyun peering in to see the two royal stablehands already hard at work. you watched swift head bows before politely greeting them yourself. "i can't believe i forgot to show you this yesterday." seunghyun took your hand, ushering you to the other side of the barn. he peered around the corner, carefully stepping onto the gravel upon spotting a fluffy tail. "one of our gardeners wrote to me saying a stray cat has had her kittens here." before you could register the anecdote, an adult cat followed clumsily by three toppling kittens emerged from behind a ledge, scuttling away to nestle underneath the shade of a tangerine tree.

his family was a mixed bag. seunghyun's parents were running late, so you didn't meet them all at once. first came his four siblings who arrived with ten minute increments between them, making your stomach feel queasy whenever the double doors swung open, preceding a brief announcement recited by a secretary of who's arrived. you were all relatively the same age, the eldest after seunghyun 24 and the youngest 17—set to begin college at cambridge in the fall. seunghyun's sisters were like looking at the same person at different stages of her life (his oldest the second eldest of the family, his youngest the baby,) whereas his brothers—the certified middle children—were at times at stark odds. the younger one was demonstrably more extroverted, laying back on the couch with his feet propped up on the table, speaking to you as if you've known one another your entire lives within five minutes of meeting, whereas the older brother was more observant; chiming in whenever needed, but not without his handsome smile.

seunghyun held himself differently, as anyone would in front of their family. there was slightly more command in the vibrato of his voice, though his relaxed body language and knack for witty banter was like looking through vignettes of memories. it was clear this bunch were true siblings, not only bound by blood, but through pointless bickering; weaponization of embarrassing stories; and playing rock-paper-scissors over who gets to eat the last scoop of bingsu for dessert though dinner hadn't started. when the queen and his royal highness arrived on the premises, the eldest sister tugged at your wrist, bringing you towards the back of the group ushering collectively down the hall. "we'll play uno after dinner with the boss." she told you lowly, checking to see if seunghyun overheard. he was occupied, fixing his cufflink. "there's positively no way you'll leave us without seeing how worked up he gets over color coordination."

the execution of your curtsy was pristine, though your heart was beating in your throat. if the queen was interrogating you, she was a master at subtlety, because that beautiful smile and warm, comfortable laugh never disappeared. his father's critical gaze earned a defiant nudge on his arm from his eldest daughter when you weren't looking, followed by hushed bickering before asking a question receiving her nod of approval. you slept better that night following a fanatical five rounds of uno, after each of which seunghyun sat closer to the edge of the couch before standing completely on his feet; pacing four steps back and forth, nearly tripping over nothing to beat his eldest sister, or anyone for that matter, in shouting the winning word. you woke at fifteen past six the next morning to use the bathroom, approached by the queen's secretary on the walk back to your bedroom. "her majesty and his royal highness would like for you to join their morning tea. either will be in the same dining hall as the night previous in one half hour."

you dressed quickly, keeping your composure. she’s just a person. she’s just a person, you repeated in your head, fixing your bracelet for the nth time whilst descending down the wide staircase. your curtsy went even deeper than the previous evening’s, nearly freezing when you felt her lay her palm atop your shoulder. “please, come join us.” her tone was unreadable (or perhaps you were just in overthinking overdrive,) but her idly soft voice put your subconscious at ease, no longer feeling your loafers pinch the back of your ankles. you dipped into a curtsy again at the sight of his royal highness waiting with his hands behind his back—seunghyun is his exact carbon copy—at the far end of the long dining table, offering you a curt nod of acknowledgement. "i was upset we couldn't speak as closely last night," the queen's voice returned your attention to her. "with the commotion of our family and all." she chuckled politely, making you grin in an unavoidably nervous gesture. "i look forward to getting to know you better now. we've heard nothing but the highest of praise." "or perhaps excitement is the preferred term." seunghyun's father chimed in, sitting himself down across from you.

"she's always been so bad at hiding when she's not being subtle." the queen's youngest son critiqued from the sitting room window, watching with his older counterpart with his arms crossed over his chest. "never." the eldest concurred. "remember when she and papa—" "move." a frustrated seunghyun forcibly nestled his way between them, making room for himself in front of the tall window. the youngest kissed his teeth, horrendously annoyed by seunghyun's nuisance. "fuck off, will you? it hasn't even been twenty minutes since i woke up." seunghyun ignored him, gesturing sharply at the view below: his mother and father on either side of you, walking along the grass. "they have her caged in—like an animal!" he thought aloud, baffled. "talk about a metaphor." the younger brother snickered, shut right up when seunghyun reached behind him, nudging the back of his head. "the second she's alone, they ring her in like prey! its like—its like they haven't changed at all! and worst of all, they're completely shameless about it!"

"what's going on?" the sisters entered the sitting room, the eldest tying her robe closed over her pajamas. "its hardly eight am and your ruckus is already carrying throughout the house." "i wanna see!" the youngest of them all chimed, scuttling over, pushing seunghyun's arm out of the way to get a better look. his eldest sister couldn't help her grin. "oh, the boss certainly means business." she let out a tired yawn, rubbing her right eye. "even brought out the translator." she referred to the man walking five paces behind you three—a polyglot the queen has employed for decades, handy for state banquets and trips abroad. she and her husband felt comfortable in their english, but kept him close by in good faith. the five of them watched in awe-filled silence. seunghyun was at a loss for words. his sister assured him like it was muscle memory. "you have nothing to worry about." she told him, the lot of them watching their father pat you on the shoulder, able to make out the comfortable smile on your face despite the growing distance. "that's the most relaxed i've seen papa in years." as if he overheard, their father turned his head, looking behind him at the sound of guardsmen walking by. "the curtain!" the youngest brother yelped, all five hastily reaching their hands up to pull the thick fabric.

later in the morning, you asked a guard where seunghyun was, politely directing you to a nearby garden. seunghyun closed his book, rising quickly from his seat on the bench, walking to you with haste. "my love—good morning." he pampered your lips with his, holding your face in his palms. "so?" was all he was able to muster, anxious thoughts running endlessly through his mind that his thinking became fragmented, eyes flittering around your face for an answer. "i think i passed?" you smiled, easing into laughter feeling seunghyun embrace you with a grip that could only be pure relief. "your father has a penchant for going endlessly back-and forth." you spoke, hands traveling up. "i can see where you get it from." you chuckled, giggling sweetly when he held you tighter.

your first public outing as a couple came july 1985 at the dual-venue benefit concert, live aid. wembley stadium was overflowing with music lovers and spectators alike. it was an atmosphere unlike any other, settling into your suite with friends who tagged along as well. photos in the papers chronicled your frizzy hair and his blowing in the wind churning through the open-roof stadium, beer in his hand, both of you donning ray bans; you two stood on your feet, moving your hands in unison with thousands of others when queen took the stage with radio gaga; you taking your lightweight blazer off, dancing and twirling in your maxi skirt whilst david bowie performed modern love, seunghyun's shy smile about to live on for years on the bedroom walls of teenage girls around the world. you looked so natural, as if you were having the time of your life, because you were! better yet, it inadvertently became a very effective optics campaign. there's nothing more relatable than two twenty-something-year-olds who love live music as much as they do each other. luckily for seunghyun, it was real love.

the tide was turning now that people know you and seunghyun were serious. the vitriolic attacks on your privacy not only persisted, but maximized: private letters leaked, random classmates you've never met claiming to be your "closest confidant" coming out of the woodworks for their fifteen minutes of fame, the outside of your car swarmed in the middle of a traffic jam—it was endless. tiresome. draining. it severed his heart to hear you sound so pitifully defeated over the phone (a new landline specially encrypted with a direct line to him, also protecting other calls needed to be made), your voice often times descending into unintelligible whispers, succumbing to tears. "i just want to tell them to get lost." you wiped your cheeks, clutching the phone like a lifeline. "but i'm afraid of what they might do next. its like they're—they're checking off a list of things to do to me, one by one. 'how cruel can we be today,' or something like that." seunghyun armed you with his family's attorneys, sending them off into battles in the courtroom to squeeze tabloids and other defamatory cases dry.

many spectators anticipated a certain announcement to follow the reporting of you and seunghyun moving in together after three years of dating. it was the fall of 1987—seunghyun began pursuing his history of art phd at cambridge, with you landing a senior position at a non-profit's policy advisory board. seunghyun happily departed from his residence after years of flying back and forth, settling into your three bedroom flat with unbridled ease, furthering the next chapter of your shared lives together. you split chores: trading who washed the dishes on an every-other-day-basis, seunghyun cooking most nights with sunday being the designated takeout day, you telling him to buy a new hoover after your current one gave out in the midst of cleaning the living room, etcetera.

your couch has seen a lot. anecdotes and conversations a rolodex of parasitic tabloids would beg on their hands and knees to obtain—offering to oust one another via sacrificial rituals to print; kisses that would scandalize seunghyun into an overnight sex symbol, defying multiple centuries of articulate public relations handiwork molding the impenetrable influence establishing him as a noble figure; you in such overtly compromising positions that would've been the most expensive paparazzi photos ever sold, if only you and seunghyun didn't live on the top floor with your curtains closed. your knees burned atop the cushions with every ministration of your hips, seunghyun's knees seemingly on opposite ends of the room from how far he's spread his legs. your respective movements were messy and disjointed—but so carnally aligned. he thrusted up into you whilst you worked yourself down onto him, condom slick and creamy, your thick, soft thighs jiggling with such force in collision with his hips. all that can be heard are soft whimpers and helpless gasps. "o—oh!" you squeaked delicately next to his ear, almost drowned out by the lewd sound of your skin slapping together. "s—seunghyun—" you mewled, holding the back of his head, pressing your temple against his. "i-i'm lost in you, my love," he panted, glasses sliding down the bridge of his nose. "utterly lost—hngh!" he slowed his hips, calming himself down after your gummy walls tightened mercilessly around him. his hands quickly traveled up your back to catch you when you momentarily lost balance, providing leeway to do some work. "let me make you feel good as you do me, yeah? f-fuck! o-oh my—oh my f-fucking—"

afternoons and nights where your thighs fondle his head, legs cast over his shoulders whilst his knees prop him up on the carpet floors, making love to you with his tongue. you've long forgotten about the wine glasses on the coffee table, or the load of laundry waiting to be transfered to the the dryer. that can wait for an eternity, as far as you're concerned. its a sight to behold: you taking off his glasses after they continuously travel down the bridge of his nose, putting them atop your head for safe keeping, your fingers combing his soft hair back; the subtle tinkering of your bracelets falling down your wrist egging him on further. his backpack and textbook waited patiently on the dining table—he has a meeting with his academic advisor on campus in forty-five minutes. you separated your legs, lifting your hips to lay more comfortably, pushing his head in deeper. seunghyun continued his lethal ministrations on your clit, separating your puffy lips with his pointer and middle fingers, isolating it entirely. "f-fuck! yes!" your voice croaked, cracking into an abrupt gasp. "j-just like that, s-seunghyunnie! oh my fucking god!" you almost sounded offended by how good at this he was. your furrowed eyebrows fought with your fallen jaw, "you're gonna—mmf!—y-you're gonna make me cum!" "that's the goal." he muttered. "this is not the time for—o-oh my f-fuck—" the vibrations of his chuckle shut you right up; eyes squeezing shut, back arching, in utter bliss. "i-i'm gonna—i'm—o—oh!"

two years later, you were in finland on holiday. friends came and went in their respective cabins, leaving you and seunghyun alone those last few days before flying home. you two have considered marriage for a while now—having shared many open and transparent conversations regarding the matter. on a human level, you've been ready for the question since your six month anniversary. however, on an impending-public-figure or more aptly put, future-wife-of-the-monarch-and-serving-as-queen level, it took some self reflection to say the least. his belief in you is what sealed the deal: "i was raised to be honest." he told you one night, tucked underneath the duvet alongside you. "i was also raised to root out weakness. if you didn't have what it took, i wouldn't have let my heart surpass the point of no return." he picked the ring out a few weeks before boarding the royal jet with you to finland, and a week after receiving your parents blessing, discreetly tucking it away securely into one of his duffle bags. he routinely built a sweat on that trip despite the cold winter temperatures—checking multiple times a day if the small velvet box was still with his belongings, as if it would somehow grow legs and walk away.

the aurora borealis bloomed above you. it was your second time seeing the phenomenon on this trip alone—basking in the closest thing, to you, humankind will ever come to experiencing magic. seeing it the first time earlier in the week was purely out of fortune. the skies were clear, your entourage pulling into your cabins after a late dinner, only to stand outside in your long puffer jackets and thick beanies for the next twenty minutes in utter awe. the second time it happened, only now it was only you two coming home to your cabin, seunghyun took it as a sign; a leap of faith. he non-suspiciously excused himself, muttering something about retrieving his camera, hurrying to your shared bedroom and sifting through his duffle bag—unzipping the side pocket tucked behind spare clothing, clutching the small box in his palm. he was down on one knee ten minutes later. nothing moved in the world in those moments except you two. his hands shook as he aligned his eye with the film camera’s viewfinder, the flash making the diamond ring sparkle in the night.

to think your first introduction to his nation was as his fiancée was inexplicably and objectively insane. a concurrent move of grandeur and strategic privacy, you thought, whilst preparing for the engagement photo call and subsequent interview. you looked like a match made in the portraits released to the public: stood outside of the palace; seunghyun in an ashy black suit paired with a deep maroon tie, you in a navy blue long sleeve dress that cut off right below your knees. he was holding his arm out for you, your hand adorned with the ring resting in plain view in the allotted gap. the smiles on your faces were irrefutable—this was solid; written in the stars. your eight minute engagement interview aired the following night—prefaced by b-roll of you two perusing the gardens arm-in-arm; him fixing your dress; you straightening his tie—reaching millions around the world. you were received as a kind, well-spoken, intelligent woman topped off with an endearing sense of introversion—“an expected prerequisite of stepping out of her shell,” the news anchor called it, to be specific. the details of your love story of the prince falling for a commoner (and your dress, quite frankly) led to record numbers of undergraduate applications sent to oxford the following cycle; local seamstresses became booked for weeks on end; department stores selling dupes of your dress were sold out for months at a time.

the several months between your engagement and wedding day were colorful in every possible meaning of the word. your time was spent wishing you had more time, in between moving into his residence (“our residence now, my love.”); sorting out your patronages and honorary titles you were to take on after officially becoming both a princess and the future queen; sifting through heaps of doting letters from the public and trying to respond to at least ten before heading to bed; fittings for an endless array of things (most importantly your wedding and reception dress, along with tours planned months in advance for when you’re officially a royal); cake and food tastings; visits to florists; selecting and meeting your new staff, bodyguards, and secretaries; routine visits with your fiancé to your future in-laws’ palaces to pick out a venue; setting up your office … it was endless.

seunghyun was born into this rodeo, so he helped wherever he could. he didn’t want to stifle any opportunities of you establishing your footing in a brand new lifestyle you needed to learn the ins and outs of, but also didn’t want to leave you hanging out on your own. he knew there was a very possible balance between the two, but couldn’t help but get ahead of himself sometimes (“a lady-in-waiting should be someone you’re close to. she’ll help in daily tasks and anything else you might need help with. i’ve told you this before.” “i don’t know who to pick, seunghyun. i don’t have many friends.” “we’ll find you some, then.” “no—that’s not what i’m trying to say, baby. i don’t want just anyone at the wedding, or in my daily life like that.”) he could only be so aware of his indescribable privilege and being privy to such dense knowledge of royal life. he’s admitted to these faults before, and they’ve manifested throughout your relationship. whether it be more passive—addressing luxury cars as if they were toyotas; footing the 12,000/month rent for your shared flat; using a first edition print of a classic novel as a makeshift coaster when he couldn’t find one in the kitchen cabinets; walking barefoot in his centuries-old historical residence decadent in paintings and fixtures worth millions in nothing but linen shorts and a lightweight v-neck sweater; eating a slice of pizza with a knife and fork, much to your amusement: “no, baby.” you simply tutted, getting up from your seat, a hand on his shoulder. “hm?” seunghyun turned his head, attention returning to his plate when you took the utensils out of his hands. “it comes to a point.” you told him with a grin, directing his fingers to hold the crust.

or it can be much more apparent. do not be mistaken by your faces being printed onto dinner plates and sold in gift shops—you and seunghyun are not the perfect couple. you’ve had petty arguments, a disagreement here and there, or outright misalignments. you try to talk it out, but if the circumstance proves to still be sensitive, you take an hour or two away. to seunghyun, this is your shared secret of a long lasting relationship—a testament in your trust of one another. that no matter what, a momentary rift is just that: momentary. you trust each other to feel love and happiness, but also frustration and disappointment—yes, they are equally important. there’s no point in suppressing what makes us human, especially in highly contentious environment seeking to suck the humanity out of you, such as the institution you were marrying into. he needed you, even when he acted amuck.

he had just hung up the phone with his eldest sister—a conversation ending in raised voices and inflamed discontent. he marched out of his office, running his hands over his face, trying to ease his frustration. you turned the corner, “oh, there you are.” his back was turned to you, hearing your loafers against the carpeted floors. “just when i think i know my way around this place, i walk into one of the three dining halls thinking its the hallway to your office.” you chuckled. seunghyun turned around with haste, trying to thwart his irritation. “what is it, baby?” “i wanted to tell you the appointment with our florist’s been moved to this thursday at three. my secretary received the call just a few moments ago. i’m hoping we can finalize the arrangements for the wedding.” “thursday?” seunghyun’s irritation was noticeble to you now. “this thursday? does it have to be?” “i’m afraid so.” you said, carefully observing him, a little confused. “is something wrong?”

“its just that—” he huffed. “its just that my sister’s suddenly—outlandishly demanded my presence.” “for?” “the architect i suggested for her renovations doesn’t meet her hellish standards, as she just so dotingly relayed to me on the phone just now.” he gestured dramatically to his office, returning both of his hands to his hips. you hummed in acknowledgement, nodding. you remembered she was moving into one of the family’s many cottages. as decadent and historical it was, it was aged and in need of an upgrade, at least to their standards—insert seunghyun referencing his trusted architect-interior designer duo he employed for the renovations made to his residence years ago. part of you couldn’t recognize what the fuss was all about. the cottage was huge, bigger than any normal person could ever hope for, yet there they were, bickering like it was a dinky studio apartment in the city. an air of snobbishness certainly ruminates in these halls, considering in this brief beat of silence, seunghyun cut you off before you could say something.

“she wanted an ‘egalitarian flair.’” he recited, kissing his teeth. he turned his head, watching you watch him. “you wouldn’t understand—” he cut himself off the moment he realized what words were leaving his mouth. he didn’t know what came over him, but the sight of your appalled expression served him right. “no, go on.” you challenged, crossing your arms over your chest. “i am your fiancée and the woman who will serve as your next queen. you should feel at ease saying anything in front of or to me. go on.” your stubbornness served as your defiant armor protecting you from a contradictory, unforgiving world, but being at the brunt of it was both humbling and shitty. seunghyun’s head sunk, slowly walking over to you with a stride of sympathy. “i’m sorry, my love,” he said. “i don’t know what came over me. i didn’t mean that.” “tell me what you said.” your tone was firm. “i’m not going to tell you something that i don’t mean.” said seunghyun. “why? because i might not understand it?” you retorted sharply.

frustration brewed in his chest. “if you knew what i said, why make a fool out of me?” “because you’re the one talking in circles—thinking i don’t know what egalitarian means!” you exclaimed. seunghyun huffed, “thats not what i—” “—i went to oxford too, you know.” you cut him off. “i might’ve not been at liberty to renovate my home at the drop of a hat, but i can understand where others are coming from.” seunghyun’s jaw tightened, eyebrows furrowing in disbelief. “don’t make this about that.” he turned around, walking to the end of the hallway towards the terrace. “you know full well i am not the type of person to judge someone based off something as—as s-stubborn as the cards they’ve been dealt!” he exclaimed over his shoulder, sending a butler whom was walking down a neighboring corridor to re-route his path, avoiding the brewing conflict. you quickly followed after seunghyun, “you aren’t!” you said with haste. “and i know that!” you stepped out onto the balcony, the early spring wind brushing against your face.

“but—but these pockets of frustration—” it was so hard to find the words, like they were clogged in your throat, coming out fragmented. “its unfair for them to be mis-directed at me, with no warning! and with hardly an explanation afterwards.” seunghyun reached into the left pocket of his trousers, pulling out his pack of cigarettes and lighter. before he could open the box, you snatched both items away. “absolutely not—those things will kill you.” you scolded firmly, placing them atop the glass table behind you. brief, needed silence separated you two. seunghyun was the one to break it, “i’m sorry.” “for?” “being a stuck-up fuck.” you lifted your head, seeing him already looking at you. “i’m not going to lie and say you don’t have the tendency sometimes.” “i’m not sure if you knew this,” he eased into it. “but that’s why i have you around in the first place.”

you scoffed, unable to shake the smile off your face. “your apology’s only partially accepted.” seunghyun made the four step stride over to you, placing a kiss onto your temple. “is it whole now?” he asked. “marginally.” you answered, looking at the meadow ahead of you. you giggled at the ticklish feeling of his lips hovering closely above your cheek, kissing your lips softly. his hands made residence onto your lower back, pulling you closer when you reconnected the kiss. “whole.” you confirmed, hand holding the back of his head as he leaned down swiftly, planting a kiss just below your neck. his hand grabbed your left, pressing his lips against the back of it, humming in contentment upon feeling the diamond gently rub against his skin. “your sister needs to stuff it.” you told him. he looked at you, amused grin tugging at the corners of his mouth. “can you put that in writing?”

your wedding took place in the summer of 1990. just under 1,500 guests attending the ceremony, ranging from close confidants to political leaders, to a much more intimate 200 invited to the evening reception. no amount of rehearsal could’ve prepared you for the oddity of the day. that saturday felt as if it played out in both slow motion and ten times fast—flashes of thousands lining the barricaded streets, you waving with a grand smile behind your veil and the closed windows of the rolls royce, your parents overjoyed and overwhelmed at the energy surrounding you; your eldest friend, most concrete confidant, and overall key to surviving your then-broken heart fixing the train of your off-white gown after you successfully got out of the car and made it inside, the chimes of bells filling your ears; the broadcast cameras capturing seunghyun’s siblings standing to his left at the altar as you walked down the aisle, already trying to blink away his tears; the organ drowned out any possibility of overhearing seunghyun’s “you picked a good one,” to you, quickly wiping away a fallen tear after taking in the sight of your gown and tiara adorning your fucking beautiful head—bridal boutiques were never the same; his sneaky, subtly and characteristically funny expressions to alleviate your nerves when repeating your vows the officiant recited for either of you—romance novels were never the same; suddenly, the wedding bands were on, and deafening celebration surrounded you as seunghyun’s hand held yours, helping you into the carriage before settling in himself for the public send off. “and here they are now,” a reporter from overseas spoke into his microphone, pressing down on his earpiece to hear himself. the cameraman zoomed in, capturing you and seunghyun waving graciously, smiling unabashedly. “a future king and queen—an unexpected match that has resonated with many far and wide. waving to not only the people of their realms, but to the world itself. may they—perhaps this partnership will fulfill the phrase we’ve known as children, and only from fairytales: and they live happily ever after.”

in the few hours before your reception, you and seunghyun re-cooperated at your residence. as soon as your dress was off, you made a b-line to the bathroom, soaking your feet in the cold water seunghyun had drawn in the tub at your request. “remind me to never break in heels the day i need to wear them.” you let out a breath of relief feeling the cold water hit the irritated skin of your feet, relaxing into your chair. seunghyun chuckled, pulling his own next to yours. he admired how you were able to humanize such grand things (you did just come home from a show-stopping wedding, after all) with undiluted, transparent humor. it was certainly a coping mechanism, and it worked well. “noted.” he murmured, kissing your temple. “we’ve done it, y'know.” he said, earning your attention. “we’re married now.” “we are.” you smiled. “you were magnificent up there,” seunghyun doted. “my beautiful wife.” “my beautiful husband.” you said back to him softly, earning a flustered giggle from him. “you make a very pretty princess.” he leaned in, kissing your lips gently. “i knew i made the right decision accepting your ring when the tiara started to feel weightless.” you both erupted in harmonious, organic laughter, bringing his lips back to yours.

transitioning to life as a working royal was unique. it brought about questions that opened a part of your brain and unleashed emotions you didn’t know you had: I’m not a political figure, yet a handshake or how well I do on do in outings hold as much as power as a legislator does signing a bill into law, you scribbled into your journal—a habit you inherited through osmosis from your husband early in your relationship; initially beginning as letter-writing when he was abroad—I’m not here to share to have or show my opinion, but if I don’t give the impression that I have a working brain, I’m labeled as a ditz. How funny is that? you let out a breath, stretching your arms out before returning your fountain pen to the page. Being impartial isn’t natural. No one wants me to change the world, but they want me to be it. Am I a humanitarian? A projection Something to be projected onto? I brought it up to the husband the other day during lunch, and he said I know who I am and I can make it however I want it to be. He’s got a point. He always does.

by far, he is your biggest fan. when you go on public engagements together, he is smiling in those photos like he’s the one meeting you. whether it was another hot mic moment where a reporter unknowingly picked up on him telling the head of a research facility “i can’t believe i was the one who got to marry her” before embarking on a guided tour of the building, or his asking staff to tape your news coverage when you were performing duties abroad by yourself; always making time to talk on the phone when either of you too were away—time differences were an effortless obstacle (“you are utterly magnificent, my love. you were born for this. i can’t believe it—i think you’ve given me an irregular heartbeat.” “i never thought your dramatics could be transmitted overseas, but i stand corrected.”); or trying to make light of harsh, unruly tabloids, he always stuck out for you—“this is my favorite one.” he slid the paper over to you, hiding his mischievous grin behind his teacup. “really?” you gave him a look. “the one about my armpit being too dark?” “its a ridiculous a waste of resources and insult to intelligence—thats why its hilarious!”

you never thought someone who looked like you would become a fashion icon, yet here you were. steps towards modernization came in waves: unsavory rumors began to swirl around of you being “difficult” when in actuality, you were refusing to work with luxury fashion brands if they rejected expanding their sizes for regular consumers and not just tailoring to you because of your status. it was of no problem to you since other brands naturally stepped up to the occasion, along with integrating small businesses and growing independent fashion houses into your professional and casual wardrobe, helping the underdogs of the world gain traction, as that was once you. not matter if you donned an evening gown and tiara, or a windbreaker with denim shorts and a baseball cap—things were flying off the shelves, camera shutters were going off, and fashion magazine sales skyrocketed.

your precision showed in your makeup choices, too: enhancing your features, but was ultimately sheer, particularly the foundation. you wanted the world to see your freckles; hyperpigmentation; a new spot, or whatever it was. you also had a hand in your speeches—making the language less academic, and more personable. the royal family always moved with purpose—this was just part of your personal arsenal. as confusing as this dynamic was to navigate, no matter how your secretaries or seunghyun told you to explore this multi-layered endeavor, all you knew is that you wanted to be approachable. to be real. this was just one way to do it, even if at times it compromised the amount of respect you received within palace walls. the fact that your popularity was directly derived from your subtle defiance of antiquated tradition certainly ruffled the feathers of traditionalists that shall not be named. but just one strongly worded letter from seunghyun, however, or him threatening to drive his range rover up there, and no advisor dared to say another thing. “all she does is exist as she is, and they love her. do you know how hard it is to do that?” seunghyun ranted in the voicemail box of one of the queen’s advisors that he never liked (the one that got him sent off to the military academy, specifically.) “you’ve never been able to figure out how to do yourself in the fifty years you’ve worked for my family. don’t try to now. see the bigger picture. they adore her. they saw a glimpse of her goddamn lip balm and now she has to get it shipped from elsewhere because its completely sold out. get your head out of your ass.”

you were pregnant six months later—seunghyun and you reduced to joyous tears at the sight of your baby girl on the ultrasound screen. the country and world celebrated with you: landmarks, bridges, and fountains suddenly illuminated with the color pink after the printed and framed announcement was posted on an easel outside of your residence. you continued your duties into halfway through your second trimester—photos of your darling baby bump underneath your coat and glowing skin coating the papers. but once you couldn't stand the heels as your back pain and nausea worsened, and your loafers weren’t doing the trick anymore, you gradually took a step back. your morning sickness fluctuated, at times leaving you bedridden until the early afternoon. your stomach made it hard to shave your legs; too embarrassed to ask a member of your staff to help you, and too fragile to put on stockings, you let it grow.

pregnancy was excruciating. there was no sugarcoating it. seunghyun did everything he could as per the doctor’s orders and his plain instinct from seeing you in so much fucking pain—decorating your side of the king-sized bed with the best maternity pillows in the market; massaging cocoa butter onto your bump every night and morning; making love to your puffy lips like clockwork, helping you relax overly-tense muscles before helping you dress; reading every single piece of what to expect when you’re expecting-related literature he can get his hands on; blinking away his misty eyes at the sound of guttural relief ringing viscerally from your lungs when he held your bump in his palms, pressing kisses to your shoulder—“i am so sorry.” he said meekly. “its—its duty.” you were out of breath, holding onto your wooden bed frame for support whilst seunghyun adjusted his grip below your stomach. “she’ll be worth it. our match made.” you huffed. “she kicks a lot—she’ll be a ruckus force just like her father.”

you and seunghyun have seen one another in vulnerable states throughout the years, but it seems marriage and preparing for parenthood lifted a new veil entirely. the vows for better or worse, in sickness and in health echoing through the high walls of your wedding ceremony and subsequently the world held massive merit, and though some spouses may not mean it when they say it, you two certainly did—your growing baby meant recalibrating your body from time to time to find a new sleeping or sitting position, walking in a way that didn’t have more back begging for mercy, and more pressure applied to your bladder. you were carrying, living, breathing, eating, and digesting for two now, which meant frequent trips to the bathroom throughout the night; fragmenting your sleep. if you didn’t get up from your side of the bed or shuffle across the bedroom in time, seunghyun then helped you into the shower to wash off, or sat in the bath behind you if you felt particularly sheepish.

a month before you were due, seunghyun woke up to your empty side of the bed. hastily speed-walking out of your bedroom, he heard shuffling in the kitchen. he opened the door, seeing you; heavily pregnant, standing in the dark, trying to open a jar in tears. your husband’s silhouette is second nature. seunghyun looked for the light switch, but you quickly protested, “d-dont.” you sniffled. “my—my vision’s a bit sensitive. the lighting makes me dizzy.” his hand found your lower back, lips kissing your temple. “my love, what’s wrong?” he asked so gently, lips returning to your skin upon hearing you cry harder. it didn’t matter that it was half three in morning on a tuesday night and he had to be up at seven for a busy day at work—he was here. “what’s wrong? hm? tell me.” “i just—i just wanted peanut butter.” you said weakly. “and i—and i can’t see the expiry date well because i can’t t-turn on the light. and i can’t reach the bread, because its high on the shelf and the pain is just too much,” you had to momentarily stop yourself from succumbing to blubbering through your tears. “and there’s this—there’s this itch on my back that i can’t fucking reach.”

seunghyun didn’t hesitate. “here, i’ll do it.” he said, fingers ghosting your back. “by your neck? or—” “—below my left shoulder.” his forehead found your temple at the sound of your relieved breath, his hand underneath your shirt, nails raking gingerly on the troubled spot. “i’ll put lotion and oil on your back before bed. you need to rest.” he spoke softly. “its nearly impossible to feel comfortable.” you muttered. “everything hurts.” “i know,” he whispered, kissing your cheek. “d'you want me to make some toast, baby? it won’t take long.” “how am i supposed to be a mother, seunghyun?” your voice sounded perishable. “let alone—let alone raise a fucking future monarch?” your bottom lip trembled, pressing your fingers against it in an attempt to halt the brewing tears. “i’m trembling over a piece of bread, yet there is someone on the way who will depend on me to live. i don’t even know what i’m doing half the time. what am i supposed to tell her? its all—its all guesswork for me. i—i don’t know what i’m going to do.” “you have me.” his voice remaining stable helped ease your heartbeat. he was always so good at this. “she has us. we’ll figure this out together. i know we will.”

your first-born daughter and the nation’s future monarch came into the world early in the morning in september 1991, a few months after your first wedding anniversary—screaming at the top of her lungs. labor was arduous, pushing even more so. you called desperately to your mother, whom was also in the delivery room with you and seunghyun at your request. her kind, encouraging words coupled with a tender hand on your forehead provided solace, but once it was time to push, all hell broke loose. you squeezed the life out of seunghyun’s hand, yelling in pain whilst his lips never left your temple, tears escaping his eyes as his words were extensions of his vows: “you’re doing so good. you’re doing so fucking good, i’m so proud of you. you’re the strongest person i know, baby,” breaking into a sob once he heard his daughter make herself known, staring in awe as she was dried off and placed onto your chest for skin-to-skin, snuggled underneath a warm blanket.

the following day, she was introduced to the world. swaddled safely and tenderly in what looked to be the softest blanket ever stitched, her small face and full head of hair painted the nation’s landmarks in a celebratory shade of pink once more. initially held in your arms, you and seunghyun stepped out of the hospital wing to rapturous celebration when those doors opened. it took on an entirely different, almost awestruck tone when you came into view, descending down those few steps with his hand carressing your lower back. in your time as a public figure and dutiful worker under the crown, you had never heard camera shutters go off so fast. you carefully handed her off to her father, the both of you approaching reporters side by side after giving each other a quick nod—a coordinated team effort. “she’s thankfully got her looks,” seunghyun spoke with a smile, letting out a laugh at your playful scoff, your own beautiful smile adorning your face. “well, i don’t know about that.” you chuckled. “seunghyun was actually the one who changed the first diaper!” you answered another reporter’s question with glee, hands instinctually re-tucking the blanket after a small gust of wind flew by.

figuring out parenthood, as anticipated, was at a day-by-day basis. you and your husband learned her different cries quickly, and he was a master at holding her securely with one arm by the end of her first month. you were offered nannies as protocol, but turned most of them away, preferring to be hands on as much as you could before your maternity leave ended, ushering you back into your duties. there were patterns in your daughter’s behavior, but if anything new came up, it was a quick call to action from both her mother and father. she traveled with you once she was old enough and given the all-clear by the family pediatrician—a break from antiquated tradition seunghyun was more than happy to break from, doting on his seven month old as she had her tummy time on a pull-out bed aboard the royal jet. My daughter won’t spent her most important developing years wondering where her parents are like her father did, seunghyun wrote in his diary. I was taught an at early age that my parents were busy. They were, and for good reason. But a child is a child. And sometimes, I just wanted my mother.

once she started walking, it was tough for either of you to catch up with those small legs—numerous accounts reported in the papers of people seeing you and seunghyun in the park, tuckered out by your toddler’s antics before strategically ambushing her by a picnic table, seunghyun scooping her into his arms; photos taken at the annual palace garden party hosting dignitaries and political leaders alike, the future queen scuttling quickly across the green grass meadow towards an archway decorated with multi-colored balloons whilst her parents, the heirs to the throne, just let her have her way at some point; paparazzi capturing you and seunghyun on an afternoon walk outside of your residence, clad in puffer jackets, sunglasses, and baseball caps as he pushed your sleepy daughter in her stroller. the world’s reception to you as parents was thankfully very supportive and understanding, as any parent would empathize the uncertainty that came to doing this for the first time, and on a global stage, for that matter.

your subtly unconventional approaches to what is historically practiced by the royal family routinely littered the papers, starting with the outfits you wore when you introduced your daughter to the world: a light sweater, trousers, and loafers. seunghyun wore something similar, although he had adidas trainers on. critics pointed to how royals, including seunghyun’s close relatives, donned dresses and suits when first introducing their children. to you, personally, that was outrageous and not on the table whatsoever. “to each their own,” you told seunghyun in your hospital room, gearing up for the press call after your hair was washed by a midwife you will never forget. “but i would rather not be grimacing at my heels pinching my feet as i hold the most precious cargo i could ever bear.” some part of it worked in your favor (“as always,” particularly aggrieved palace personnel would begrudgingly acknowledge) optics wise, mostly with fellow mothers: I see myself in you, a young mother of two wrote to you when your daughter was four months old. We know what that pain feels like and what it can do to our bodies. To hell with people who want us to perform.

your daughter started needing personal space at three-years-old, nudging herself off her father to have her feet on the sidewalk, holding his hand as he led her into the hospital wing to meet her baby sister. “wave to them, my love.” he told her gently, gesturing to the crowd with a flick of his head. “go on.” a smile stretched across his mouth when her palm shook in the air for a brief moment, unable to help his leaning down and pressing a kiss onto her face. your daughters were a dynamic duo if you’ve ever seen one: the youngest demanding with her limited rolodex of words that she also come to send off her older sister to her first day of kindergarten; shy, yet coordinated funny faces to cameras on the handful of royal engagements you brought them on throughout their childhood; seunghyun and you caught comedically off guard when you pointed out their grandfather in the crowd of a tennis tournament, seeing your eldest tap your youngest on the shoulder before both of them stuck out their tongues; or the paparazzi photo that sealed the belief of you being a tight-knit family: your six-year-old asleep on your husband’s chest, your nine-year-old sat in the middle seat and dozed off on your shoulder, either parent getting much needed shut-eye after a long two weeks of summertime travel, safe in the confines of the rolls royce about to leave the airport tarmac.

you took the babies to disney world when they were fifteen and twelve, respectively. despite having bodyguards, cameras following you, and eyes of strangers lingering at all times, you wanted to give them a normal childhood as much as you possibly could. you stood in lines for rides and food, dressed in light jackets and stylish sneakers—enjoying your vacation like other families. you got onto whatever your children desired, starting the day with you and seunghyun playing a quick match of rock-papers-scissors since the kids wanted to go on different rides, and either of you found yourself aligned with either of them. he ended up winning, but you got your reward later that afternoon on a water ride, laughing with unabashed joy at the sight of your soaked husband sat in a different car, as there wasn’t enough seats to fit him in with you and your daughters, sending him humorously to sit with the bodyguards. he didn't hide his chuckle when your eldest pulled you towards the drop tower shortly before leaving the amusement park in the evening, overhearing your “i don’t know if i have the heart anymore for that, baby,” before standing in line without further protest. the photos from this day didn’t leave the papers for weeks.

seunghyun sat comfortably in his seat on the royal jet. he looked to you sat across from him, his darling wife of nearly two decades, fast asleep with your arms crossed over your chest. a bracelet your youngest daughter—now fifteen years old—made for you poked out of the sleeve of your windbreaker; blue and silver beads adorning your wrist. your silvering hair glistened in the peeks of sunlight funneling through the plane window; smile lines evidence of a life lived with transparent and unapologetic emotion. you were still a princess and seunghyun a prince, protocols for his coronation—whenever that day would come—long known for you since your engagement, and him since his sentience. perhaps it was only a matter of time before that day came, but for now, you lived and served as you knew how. he’s grown with his work, finally able to integrate his academics and interests into his life as a royal—serving on the board for the country's national art archive. you have a surplus of engagements, as does seunghyun, mainly ranging charity and non-profit related endeavors closely similar to the work you did before becoming a royal.

it was a physically and emotionally exhaustive last few days. you and seunghyun helped your eldest, now eighteen, move into her dorm and settle in at oxford before term started later that week. your youngest currently resented you two for her not being able to come due to her third year at preparatory school beginning earlier than her sister’s university start-date, but you and seunghyun would address that when she visited home next weekend. your youngest’s school was much closer to home and less strict than seunghyun’s was when he was her age. he’s always the first to greet her at the door with a kiss and hug when she came home every other weekend, making sure the chefs prepare her favorite dishes and receive shipments of the palace’s tangerines in time as she’s always been fond of them.

seunghyun unzipped his bag, pulling out his journal and fountain pen. with a satisfied huff, he turned to the next open page, which was about halfway through. When I was nineteen, with a buzzcut and deeper resentment for my parents than when I was thirteen, I used to often wonder about a different version of my life. If I was born into a different family, or better yet, not the eldest. his crow’s feet crinkled with his amused grin, continuing his scribbles. I wasn’t elected to do my job, but I have to serve nonetheless. Its even more ridiculous that I have to ask someone else to do it with me, as embarrassing and greedy it feels. But when I see my beautiful daughters who are wholly the product of my gracious, intelligent, generous, and indescribably beautiful wife, I cannot help but be selfish. To tell myself I deserve the life I live, that it is not a lottery but a fruit of hidden labor, and I won’t let anyone stop it or even attempt to step in the way of it.

he took a breath. I am able to love because of her. We bicker over what to eat for dinner. I tell her when I don’t like her dress, and she tells me when she doesn’t like my tie. My daughters make fun of my shoes and scurry away embarrassed when I drop them off at school playing my cassettes. The love of my life knows me, and I know her. I couldn’t ask for anything better. For the first time in my life, I have made peace with my fate of duty. I do not have to pretend to be happy, for I am so lucky to have a beating heart.

honey's tag list! ૮ ˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶ ა: @gongyoosgf, @infinetlyforgotten, @mesopotamism, @riddlerloveb0t, @pepsicolapussi, @breakmeoff

[mashtatosworld]

Can I request some Seunghyun x Fem!Reader where she’s his personal assistant and absolutely, completely and deeply in love with him. She’s been his best friend for years, terrified that if she tells him how she feels, it might not only ruin their friendship but also their work dynamic. They’re incredibly touchy and comfortable in each other space, not even noticing that they’re doing things that could be considered couple-y: She’s on her phone while standing next to a seated Seunghyun? He’s absentmindedly fiddling with the hem of her shirt while she’s carding her fingers through his hair and scratching his scalp gently. He makes a lame dad joke that no one really laughs at? She’s giggling and giving him a sweet little forehead kiss as she walks by. The rest of the band can see they’re made for each other but too chicken to admit it. So the boys cook up a plan to get Seunghyun to finally tell her how he feels. What could possibly go wrong? 😂😂

how you get the girl

summary: in which things between you are safer left unspoken

You’ve been by Seunghyun’s side for years.

First as his best friend, then as his very unqualified personal assistant. It started because he didn’t want to lose you - his career as an idol meant constant travel, but he wasn’t about to let life pull you apart. So he hired you, despite your lack of organisational skills and tendency to leave things until the last minute.

Not that he really minded. He liked having you around. More than liked.

Some may say too comfortable together. For colleagues at least.

You’re always touching - his fingers pulling at the hem of your shirt absentmindedly. Or sharing glasses of wine - his mouth pressing against your lipstick stains without complaint.

And neither of you ever question it.

Because sometimes things were safer left unspoken.

But the rest of the band? Oh, they see it. And they’re tired of waiting for you two to figure it out.

𓆩♡𓆪 𓆩♡𓆪 𓆩♡𓆪

It starts with you forgetting to book his hair appointment.

He’s supposed to go on stage tomorrow with pink hair. Only, his roots are still dark, and there’s no way to get a stylist this late.

Which is how you end up in his hotel bathroom at midnight, wearing one of his oversized t-shirts, sitting on the edge of the bathtub - him on the floor between your legs - whilst you're armed with box dye and gloves, carefully working through his hair.

“You know,” he muses, casually toying with one of your anklets, “if I had a professional assistant, this wouldn’t be happening.”

You scoff. “If you had a professional assistant, you’d be miserable.”

He hums in consideration. “Maybe.”

Definitely.

He closes his eyes when your fingers start massaging the dye in properly, his body relaxing under your touch. It’s warm in here, the scent of hair dye mixing with the faint smell of his shampoo, and there’s something oddly intimate about it - his head in your hands, the steady rhythm of your movements.

And then he feels a smear on his cheek.

His eyes snap open.

"Oops."

“No. No, oops. I know you, you did that on purpose.” He turned his head around, eyes narrowed on your amused figure.

Before you can react, his hand moves fast - swiping a glob of dye across your arm.

“Hey!” You yelp, grabbing at him in retaliation, and suddenly it’s a war. He gets your cheek; you streak pink across his neck. He reaches for your platinum dyed hair - “Oh don’t you dare - ”

Too late. A bright pink handprint ends up in your hair.

By the time you’re done both of you are breathless, pink-stained, grinning at each other like kids who just got caught. You don’t realise how close you are. How he’s staring at you, just for a moment, something soft in his expression.

You clear your throat, "You better hope there's enough dye in that box for me too."

𓆩♡𓆪 𓆩♡𓆪 𓆩♡𓆪

“You two do realise you look like a couple now, right?”

The next morning, you both enter the dressing room - late of course - to see Jiyong in the make-up chair, grinning like the devil himself.

“Uh-huh," you brush off, striding past the boys as they all eyed your new matching locks.

Seunghyun watched you flit around the room, trying to find your stage pass whilst he draws closer to his bandmates, a watchful eye remaining on you.

“Matching hair? That’s basically a soft launch,” Daesung chuckles as he snacks on a banana.

Seunghyun tilts his head, raising a curious brow. “Do we… really look like a couple?”

Jiyong smirks. “You sound pretty happy about that, hyung."

The way Seunghyun pauses - no defence, no annoyed huffs, just considering - tells them everything they need to know.

And just like that, the plan is set in motion.

𓆩♡𓆪 𓆩♡𓆪 𓆩♡𓆪

Seunghyun handles your work phone. It’s separate from your personal one, and since you’re a little too… relaxed about answering emails and checking schedules, he’s taken it upon himself to do it for you.

Which is exactly why the band sends the message there.

He’s scrolling through your unread messages as the team sits in the dressing room, cooling off after a tiring performance.

Then the phone pings.

[unknown number] Hey beautiful! I had so much fun on our date. Let me know when you can meet again. Can’t wait to see you soon candyfloss xxxxx

His fingers tighten around the phone.

His stomach drops.

The fuck?

A sharp wave of irritation rises in his chest. He looks at you - you’re on your personal phone, completely unaware, smiling at something on the screen.

Is this why you’ve been distracted?

Before he even realises it, his voice comes out clipped. “Is this why you’ve been such a terrible assistant?”

You blink, confused. “What?”

He stands from the sofa, uncaring for the way he draws attention to himself. He was heated. “You’ve been messing things up constantly - I thought you were just forgetful, but no, you’re busy running around with some secret boyfriend instead of doing your job?”

Your mouth drops open. “Excuse me?” You push off from the wall, moving to stand before him.

“If you’re so distracted, maybe I should fire you.”

The room goes dead silent.

The guys - who were at the far end of the room - exchange panicked looks.

“Oh shit,” Jiyong mutters. “Did we just -”

“Ruin everything?” Youngbae whispers back. “Yeah.”

Inside, you’re outraged. “If you think I’m so terrible, fire me then!”

“I should!”

“Then do it!”

“I will!”

“Fine!”

There’s a beat of silence. Neither of you move.

Then you narrow your eyes. “Wait... What are you even talking about, Seunghyun? I don’t have a secret boyfriend.”

“Oh sure,” he scoffs, waving the phone in front of your face. “You just forgot about the guy you went on a date with?”

You lunge to snatch the phone from him. “Give me that!”

He dodges you - holding it high above your head, and dials the number instead.

And then -

Daesung’s phone starts ringing.

The silence is deafening.

Jiyong smacks Daesung upside the head. “Aish, put it on silent next time!”

You and Seunghyun slowly turn to them.

Daesung clears his throat. “Uh. Surprise?”

Youngbae attempts to smooth things over, “Hyung, y/n... It was just part of the prank war. You know... payback.”

"Payback?" Seunghyun is fuming. “You idiots nearly made me lose my girl.”

Your heart stops.

“…Your girl?”

It takes him a second to realise what he just said.

Oh.

You’re both frozen, eyes locked, the entire world narrowing to just the two of you.

Seunghyun swallows, his entire demeanor shifting - still intense, but no longer angry. Just... raw.

The others take that as their cue to get the hell out.

Once they’re gone, you continue to stare at him, heart pounding. “I'm your girl?”

His jaw clenches. “…Of course you are.”

You frown. “You've never told me that.”

He exhales. “Because I didn’t want to ruin what we have.”

You stare at him, then laugh breathlessly. “You mean our very professional assistant-client relationship?”

He couldn't help a smile, running a hand through his pink hair.

Seunghyun hesitates a moment, and then he steps closer, cupping your cheek, and murmurs, “I thought I could live with that. But when I thought I was losing you, I hated it.”

Your breath catches. “I'd hate that too.”

“I'm going to kiss you.”

You whisper, “Yeah. You should.”

And then he does.

It’s slow, warm, and so overdue it makes you dizzy. His hands tighten around you, pulling you impossibly close.

When you finally break apart, you smirk. “So, do you really think I’m a bad assistant?”

He nods. “Oh, absolutely.”

You swat at him, but he just grins, catching your hands and pulling you back in.

“But I wouldn’t change a thing about you.”

And then he kisses you again.

𓆩♡𓆪 𓆩♡𓆪 𓆩♡𓆪

thank goodness there's no HR in fantasy land

taglist: @petersasteria, @mirahyun , @allthoughtsmindfull , @gdinthehouseee , @infinetlyforgotten , @redhoodedtoad , @kathaelipwse , @lxvemaze , @loveesiren , @sherrayyyyy , @getyoassoutthetrunk

[rawringdinosaurex101]

haloooo :33 can we errrrrrr get like uhm so err basically err tabi/gd/dae as like a girl dad fluffy hcs? :333 it's like ok if not 👅👅 💕💕💕💕💕 tankyuuuu

~𝐆𝐢𝐫𝐥 𝐃𝐚𝐝 𝐇𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐜𝐚𝐧𝐨𝐧𝐬~

TYSMMM FOR THE REQUEST I WAS SO HAPPY AAHH

Parings- Top <3 Fem reader, Gd <3 fem reader, Dae <3 fem reader

Warnings! Fluffy fluff, swearing, ass writing.

𝒞𝒽𝑜𝒾 𝒮𝑒𝓊𝓃𝑔𝒽𝓎𝓊𝓃 <𝟥

𓂃₊ ⊹ Seunghyun never really had the thought of having kids until he met YOUU

𓂃₊ ⊹ When your daughter was first born, he stopped whatever event he had, cancelled everything just to take care of you and your daughter. You kept telling him he didn't need to and you could take care of yourself, you think he'd care? Nope he'd cling to you for two whole months.

𓂃₊ ⊹ When your daughter was old enough to start writing, he'd teach her how to draw, paint and even do some pottery!

𓂃₊ ⊹ If you were burnt out or just a little tired, Seunghyun would gently insist on you to get some rest, get you some snacks, then play with your daughter.

𓂃₊ ⊹ He'd definitely go and make some cringey dad jokes or say "You like?" in a teasing matter to your daughter.

𓂃₊ ⊹ He would love to play princess with your daughter always being the "evil stepmother" or any villain and you would sit and record them in secret.

𓂃₊ ⊹ You would teach Seunghyun and your daughter how to bake sweets, and Seunghyun would usually fail at it but at least your daughter did it perfectly.

Ｇ Ｄｒａｇｏｎ <3

𓂃₊ ⊹ When you announced the birth of your DAUGHTER, he was so happy he jumped and drove straight to you.

𓂃₊ ⊹ He loves buy gifts for your daughter to spoil her ofc, fake makeup toys, a wooden kitchen set, dolls, lots of dolls.

𓂃₊ ⊹ Jiyong would buy so much dresses, expensive ass jewelry, snacks, plushies.

𓂃₊ ⊹ I'm pretty sure he'd stop smoking when you were pregnant.

𓂃₊ ⊹He would do matching manicures for all three of you guys.

𓂃₊ ⊹He'd play with Joa and Iye with you being super gentle all the way.

𓂃₊ ⊹Some days you'd find him sleeping with your daughter in his arms.

𓂃₊ ⊹When it's your daughter birthday he'd buy her a shit ton of expensive gifts.

𓂃₊ ⊹ Would love to match rings with your daughter <33

𝒟𝒶𝑒𝓈𝓊𝓃𝑔

𓂃₊ ⊹He'd learn to do different hairstyles for your daughter, braids, styling buns anything.

𓂃₊ ⊹ Daesung would definitely let your daughter do his makeup and laugh a lot in the process causing your daughter to scold him for moving so much.

𓂃₊ ⊹He'd play any sport your daughter would want to try like soccer, basketball, volleyball anything.

𓂃₊ ⊹He'd love matching outfits with you and your daughter.

𓂃₊ ⊹He would brag about how smart and cute your daughter is to his friends.

𓂃₊ ⊹You would bring your daughter offstage to one of his concerts and he'd be on top of the world.

𓂃₊ ⊹He'd never let you do anything when your tired.

𓂃₊ ⊹When it's your daughter's birthday he would bake her a home-made cake.

𓂃₊ ⊹I think he'd love buying you jewelry, hair clips and other accessories for your daughter <333

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR READING ILY OML

[fleabagspurplewife]

our song | choi seunghyun

pairing: choi seunghyun x reader

summary: you fall asleep on your best friend, choi seunghyuns, couch with him playing guitar for you

warnings: nooooone this is purely fluff

a/n: this was written in ten minutes on a train i'm sorry if it seems rushed/bad <3

it's a tuesday night, and you and your best friend had only had two glasses of wine each, instead of the typical three bottles between you. you're curled up on his tiny red couch’s weathered cushions to “close your eyes” while watching a movie. you had picked the couch out together at the thrift store you would always go to on sundays when there was nothing else to do, and you knew he would fall in love with it. you had joked that it was somewhere for you to pass out after a long night of “partying” - meaning the two of you getting wine drunk and dancing to shitty music until you laughed so hard you couldn’t breathe. he had insisted on carrying it up the stairs to his apartment by himself, but two flights into five, he reluctantly accepted help. you giggled and he shot you a look of feigned frustration. when you had tried to round the corner, you had been too mesmerized by the beads of sweat framing his face and the way his cheeks flushed from concentration and almost dropped it.

the couch is cramped enough with one person, so he lets you have it to yourself and instead sits on the lumpy beanbag next to you. when he laughs particularly hard and looks to you to see if you found the movie as funny as he did, a slow, stifled smile dances across his face. he can't help but stare when he sees you like this. he knows you aren't asleep yet because your eyelashes are still fluttering, so he grabs his guitar. it's old and scratched over the once smooth wood. he only gets it out on very special occasions. namely, when you're almost too drunk to remember. 

when he starts lightly strumming the strings, he catches a glimpse of a grin creep across your face, and he can't help but return it, even though you can't see it. 

he strums through his usual three songs, the only three he was confident in, until your breathing has slowed and deepened. 

“seunghyun” you mumble. “play our song.” 

he knows the one you mean. the one he only plays after you're down to the last sip of a red wine, when you both can't control your giggling over the soft sound of his singing that he so rarely lets anyone hear. it always turns him beet red, but he still does it for you. he can't bring himself to say no to you.

he gives an unseen nod and his fingers brush over the chords. your heart flutters in your chest and neither of you can help the slight blush creeping over your cheeks, but he pretends he doesn't notice. as much as he wants to make little jabs at you and tease you, you both want this moment to last as long as it can. it's so rare for the two of you to have a quiet moment together.

you're too sober for him to want to sing now, though. at least, until your eyelashes stopped fluttering and your cheeks had returned to their natural color, your smile fading into a dazy, slightly pale parted-lips expression. 

it took everything in you to not smile when you heard his gentle, hushed voice start to sing. you know his eyes are trained on you, waiting for a sign you’re still awake so he has an excuse to stop. he’s hoping you're still awake enough to relax but not enough to really hear him. he’s still nervous around you after three years of being your best friend. he’s still nervous you’ll notice the lingering glances, the way he talks about you just a little too much, the way his hands fidget when you stand too close to him. 

of course, on late saturday nights after drinking too much you tease him about it, but you never say what it really means. you don't want anything to change. you don't want to be wrong, to be the only one wanting more.

he pauses when he reaches the end of your song before reaching out to push your hair back that had fallen over your face. you hope he doesn’t notice the way you tense up and slightly lean into his touch; if he does, he doesn’t make mention of it. he lets his fingers comb through your hair just for a moment before returning them to his guitar.

you let him play a few more songs, and he lets you pretend you’re asleep. he would sing for you every night if it meant he got to stare at your beautiful, half asleep face.

[squidsquidsquidsquidsquidgame]

I am not sure if you already did this before but the reactions of Jiyong/Seung-Hyun to the reader telling them she is pregnant (very positive and emotional reaction)

The good News

Pairing: Gdragon x fem!reader, T.O.P x fem!reader

Summary: You tell them you're pregnant in the best ways

Warnings: Seungri. (nothing special i just know some people react to him)

Gdragon/Jiyong

The sun was just starting to spill into your cozy bedroom, warming the cream-colored curtains and the edges of the duvet that wrapped around your husband. You stood in the kitchen barefoot, heart fluttering in your chest. Today wasn’t just any day. Today, after months of trying, tracking cycles, tears, and late-night pep talks—you had something incredible to share with him.

You balanced the breakfast tray carefully, each item placed with love: chocolate-dipped strawberries, buttery waffles stacked just high enough to hide your secret beneath the last one, plump grapes, a small pitcher of milk, and chilled cubes of watermelon arranged like little hearts.

Tiptoeing into the bedroom, you leaned over and brushed your fingers through Ji-Yong’s messy hair. “Good morning, sleepyhead,” you whispered.

He groaned into the pillow, a smile slowly spreading across his face. “Mmm, smells like heaven.”

You set the tray down gently on his lap, watching as his bleary eyes lit up at the sight. “Did I forget our anniversary?” he joked, half-awake but already grinning. “Nope,” you giggled. “Just felt like spoiling you.”

Ji-Yong plucked a strawberry and popped it in his mouth, then picked up a grape and held it to your lips, ever the flirt. You fed each other little bites between laughter and sleepy smiles, but your heart pounded louder with every passing second. He was so close to it.

And then— He reached for the last waffle.

His fork paused as he saw something peeking out beneath it. He lifted it—and froze.

The room went quiet. All he could do was stare at the positive pregnancy test lying there like a secret finally revealed. His eyes widened. Then flicked to yours.

“…Wait—” You nodded, eyes already misty. “It’s real. I double-checked. You’re going to be a dad, Ji.”

He let out a breathless sound that turned into a shout of pure disbelief and joy. “No way. NO WAY!” He flung the tray aside (miraculously, nothing spilled), scrambled off the bed, and jumped up and down like an overgrown kid. “YES!!! BABY!! I’M GONNA BE A DAD!!”

You laughed and cried at the same time as he grabbed your hands and twirled you around. Then he suddenly stopped, cupped your cheeks, and kissed you like it was the first time all over again.

“I love you,” he murmured. “You… you really made me the happiest man alive.”

Still grinning like a maniac, he grabbed his phone, his fingers shaking slightly. “I gotta tell the guys! Daesung's gonna freak out. Taeyang owes me a dinner now—he said it’d take us a year!”

You sat on the bed, hand resting over your stomach, watching the love of your life shout into the phone: “BRO. SHE’S PREGNANT. I’M GONNA BE A DAD. WAFFLE REVEAL, BRO, YOU WON’T BELIEVE IT!”

He looked at you between calls—eyes red, smile soft—and mouthed, thank you.

T.O.P/Seunghyun

(includes seungri because this is set years back)

It had taken months—months of late-night talks, hopeful tests, soft disappointment, and endless encouragement. You and Seunghyun had been trying for a baby, holding onto hope like a shared secret. And now, finally, unbelievably… it happened.

One positive line.

No—two.

You stared at the test for what felt like forever, heart thudding with a mix of joy, disbelief, and a dash of mischief. You weren’t going to tell him right away. No, not just tell him. You wanted him to feel it. You wanted the moment to be something unforgettable.

So, you hid the test—the still slightly damp stick of life-changing news—in the inside pocket of his stage jacket, just before he left the dressing room. You knew the routine. You knew when he’d reach into that pocket during “Bae Bae,” that part when he dramatically pulls out his sunglasses to put them on with all the smolder of a man born to be extra.

You sat in the wings, heart racing harder than it had when you saw the result.

On Stage

The arena was thunderous, filled with lightsticks, screams, and the heavy bass of “Bae Bae.” BIGBANG moved in sync, the crowd eating up every second. T.O.P was in his element—slick, confident, and cool as ever.

Until he reached into his jacket.

He expected his sunglasses.

Instead, he pulled out a plastic stick.

He froze.

For a beat, two… maybe three.

He held it up to the light, staring at the unmistakable two pink lines like they were written in an alien language. His eyes widened. Mouth parted.

The crowd didn’t notice yet. Not really.

But the other members—Taeyang, Daesung, G-Dragon, Seungri—they did.

“What the hell is that?” Seungri mumbled mid-dance.

Then it hit him. The meaning. The message.

T.O.P staggered back a step, then suddenly exploded with joy.

“YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!” he yelled into his mic, nearly breaking it.

He sprinted across the stage, wild with energy, clutching the test in one hand like a trophy. “I’M GONNA BE A DAD!! A FREAKING DAD!!”

The music kept playing but the performance? Forgotten.

He tackled Daesung into a hug. Jumped onto GD’s back like a kid on a sugar rush. “SHE DID IT! SHE—BABY! SHE’S HAVING A BABY!”

The crowd started losing it, piecing it together from his words, the object in his hand, the chaos.

Then he stopped.

Looked out into the wings.

And called, voice cracking: “___! BABE, COME OUT! COME OUT HERE RIGHT NOW!”

You hesitated, heart racing, before being nudged onto the stage by a grinning stagehand.

Seunghyun spotted you instantly and ran, arms wide, sweeping you up into a hug so tight it almost knocked you over.

“YOU REALLY—YOU’RE—” he was breathless, almost wheezing. “You hid it in my pocket?! While I was doing Bae Bae?!”

You laughed, tears in your eyes. “It felt appropriate.”

He pulled back, eyes red and shimmering under the stage lights. “I’m not crying.”

“You absolutely are.”

“No, that’s sweat. From my eyes. Shut up.”

The other members gathered around, patting him on the back, cheering, Gdragon even bowing to your stomach dramatically.

The crowd was chanting your names now, the song long forgotten. Cameras zoomed in on the pregnancy test still in Seunghyun’s hand, the moment being livestreamed and immortalized across the internet.

And in the middle of the chaos, Seunghyun kissed your temple, still shaking.

“Best concert of my life,” he whispered. “Best surprise ever.”

Later that night, he framed the pregnancy test in a shadow box.

Right next to his favorite sunglasses.

[angel-writes-here]

Phoenix

Choi Seunghyun x AFAB! Reader Synopsis: Dark memories are revealed and your boyfriend assures you here's to help Warnings: DARK THEMES; talk of abuse, sex trafficking and branding, and physical abuse, angst, and fluffy ending. A/N: Please read at your own discretion. This could be triggering for some. I'm aware this fic may not be for everyone and that's ok. Please take care of your mental health. You are not alone in this world and if you or anyone you know is struggling, please reach out. Sometimes having a listening ear can be all the help we need.

You take a deep breath, the feeling of clawing at your chest overwhelming. You and Seunghyun had been dating for a while and whenever he tried to take things a step further you would stop him. If his fingers went to the hem of your top you were overly aware and stepped back. If you felt his hand start to move to the button of your jeans when making out you’d push him away gently and say “not yet.” If he dared to walk in on you in your underwear you’d scream and get defensive.

He was respectful every time. He wanted you to be comfortable but after a year together and still being turned down, he was starting to get worried.

“Are you just not interested in me?” He asked. He wasn’t angry, his eyes held a certain concern that caused your heart to flutter.

“It’s not that,” you begin, taking your deep breath, “It’s that once you see it, it can’t be unseen. I can’t change it, I can’t wish it away and I can’t make it fade,” your voice cracks and he’s shifting toward you on the couch, pulling you into him.

“Jagiya, what is it? You know you can tell me anything. Show me anything.” He peers down at you.

“Seung, there’s thing about my past you don’t know about, and you’ll have questions,” you can’t meet his gaze.

“And you don’t have to tell me anything you don’t want to,” he whispers in your ear before his forehead touches the side of your head.

“I don’t want to hide from you, but I’m scared,” your lip is drawn between you teeth, the faint metallic taste of blood touching your tongue.

“I’m not leaving you, and I won’t force you, but I want you to let me in if you can. I’m not going to judge you, hurt you, or run from you. I’m all in, baby.” He cups your cheeks making you look into his eyes and you search them for any hint of hesitation. You nod, glancing down at his lips, kissing him one last time.

“Ok,” is all you whisper. You slowly stand up, time standing still and you turn your back to him. Slowly you reach for the hem of your shirt, tears brimming your y/e/c eyes as you drag the shirt over your head.

Silence.

You stand there trembling; you don’t even hear him breathing.

“Seunghyun,” your voice cracks. You hear him get up from the couch, his hand brushes your back, over the scarring you’ve just revealed.

“How?” he whispers. The tears are now silently flowing down your face.

“When I was little,” you squeeze your eyes shut.

“My mom and dad, they split,” you inhale shaking as you do so, “and I was fourteen and stupid, I wanted attention, I wanted a life where I was in control.” You feel as if your body could drop to the floor, the weight of your memories over powering you. Seunghyun senses this and slowly his arms come around your waist from behind.

“I’m here,” he whispers.

“I met this man, he was twenty-two. Said I was pretty and that he would take care of me, so that I could escape my mom’s boyfriend at the time. He was hurting me, touching me and making me feel disgusting and I just wanted out,” you sob as he holds you.

Seunghyun sinks down into the floor with you. Once the ground is beneath you, you turn into his embrace as he gently starts to rock you back and forth.

“I just wanted to get away from him.”

Seunghyun doesn’t say anything. He just listens.

“This guy, Shun, was his name,” you sniffle, “He moved me in with him, my mother was too high to care and my dad, he never did, and he would promise he loved me. Every time before it happened,” you trail off, “And then it started becoming his friends, one at a time. Then two or three, eventually it became people he didn’t know, and it was an all day thing. When I tried to fight, they would- they would hit me. Some cut me.” You cling to him for dear life.

“Then if he seen that I was hurt, I got it worse from him. He would take a belt and beat me where ever he could.” Your eyes are wide with horror as you recall the all too vivid memories.

“He’d say I was a pathetic bitch who would never go anywhere. That I couldn't even be used properly because I wouldn’t listen.”

“He would punish me by making me eat food from a bowl like a dog. He'd chain me to things to humiliate me in front of people when they came over. I had to walk on my hands and knees wearing a collar,” the last word is sobbed as your eyes squeeze shut so hard the capillaries burst.

Seunghyun’s stomach turns, how could anyone hurt his sweet girl? Treat her like she’s nothing. Less than nothing.

“You don’t have to tell me more,” he tries but you shake your head.

“I need to,” you sniffle and shakily stand up, showing him the brand on your hip.

His fingers trace the mark, the letter S permanently etched into your skin. His eyes fill with tears, one escaping down his cheek as you look back at him. You see the sorrow in his eyes, the devastation. You feel guilty for even showing him.

“I’m sorry I shouldn’t of said anything,” you start to put your wall back up but he tugs you down to him.

“No, you’ve been carrying this alone for way too long. I won’t let you do it anymore.” His own tears are freely flowing down his cheeks.

“I won’t let you, I swear it. Whatever you want, whatever you need I’ll be here. If it’s to cry, scream, throw things, I don’t care. If you need to hit me and get out your rage, do it.” Your eyes fill with tears once more.

“I’m not taking it out on you,” you whisper as you cup his face in return.

“He will never hurt you again, I swear it. For as long as I live you are safe.” His voice cracks slightly at the end of his sentence.

“I love you so much,” he whispers before kissing your forehead.

“I want it gone and I can’t get it off,” you sob referring to your hip.

“I’ll do my best to get it gone.” He promises.

That night you’re laying in bed, Seunghyun is woken up out of a dead sleep to your screaming.

“Y/n! Baby!” He violently shakes you and you wake up, sweat clinging to your skin, your hands holding his arms to keep him back.

“It’s me, it’s me, you’re safe, it’s ok.” He holds you to him as once again the sobbing starts. You can’t help the wailing that leaves your throat, the screams and everything you’ve held in for the last 2 years. Your body shakes in his grip as your face is buried in his crook of his neck.

He rubs circles on your back, trying to help soothe you.

-

The next day you’re being waken up by Seunghyun.

“Hey, babe, it’s almost noon and I have a surprise for you.” He smiles. You stretch before getting out of bed. He’s placed an outfit out for you and you change your clothes.

“Where are we going?”

“It’s a surprise.” His smile is all giddy and you quirk a brow choosing not to argue.

He drives the two of you down to a tattoo parlor.

“What’s this?”

“I can’t take it off you, but I can get it covered.” He offers.

“Seung, you don’t have to,” you start but he cuts you off.

“Let me help ease some of it. At least now you don’t have automatically see it whenever you look in the mirror,” he pleads. You smile, cupping his face with your left hand as you nod.

“Ok,” you whisper. You walk into the shop.

“You must be y/n,” the artist greets you.

“Your boyfriend here told me you need to get a scar covered. Can I see it?” Panic settles into your eyes as your heart rate accelerates and you look at Seunghyun who grips your hand reassuringly.

You use your free hand to lower your jeans to show the man the S shaped scar.

“Oh, that’s no problem.” He smiles, “Did you have a tattoo in mind?”

“I uh,” you shake your head, suddenly realizing you'd never given it much thought.

“Can I suggest one?” Seunghyun asks timidly.

“Please.”

“A phoenix, because today you start rising from the ashes. You’re taking back your life, and your sanity.” He kisses the top of your head and you smile at him as a warm feeling spreads through your chest.

“A phoenix,” you confirm to the artist who smiles and gets to work on the design.

After a few hours the tattoo is done and for the first time in long-time happy tears fill your eyes.

“It’s beautiful, and you can hardly see it.” You look back at your boyfriend who’s just as emotional. He comes up behind you in the mirror marveling at the art work.

“It’s exquisite,” he murmurs. You thank the tattoo artist and get home. Immediately you run to take off your pants. You strut back into the living room in the least amount of clothes Seunghyun has seen you in yet, a t shirt and panties.

“Woah, look at you,” he smiles.

“Thank you,” you say walking up to him.

“Now you can show it off whenever you want, without fear of that stupid mark.” He smiles.

It doesn’t erase the damage done, it doesn’t speed up the healing process, but at the same time, it finally feels like the beginning of a brand new chapter.

Tags: @breakmeoff

please do not repost my work

Love notes, comments and requests are appreciated!

[eternallytxt]

Pretty (wo)Man TEASER

Warnings and Themes: cursing, alcohol consumption, fluff, comedy, some angst, childhood best friends to lovers, rich!reader, socialite!reader, fake dating trope

Words: projected to be 7k ish

Playlist: Trust Fund Baby - Tomorrow x Together, Perfume - NCT DOJAEJUNG, Those Eyes - New West, Diamonds + And Pearls - DPR LIVE, Good Looking - Suki Waterhouse, Don't Let Me Go - Cigarettes After Sex

Summary: Soobin and (Y/N) have been friends since kindergarten. Yes. (Y/N) (L/N), the future inheritor to one of the biggest luxury fashion brands in the world, and Choi Soobin - just Soobin. Now, "just Soobin" is going to be posing as (Y/N)'s fake boyfriend for a celebrity wedding. But first, he needs to look the part (courtesy of his best friend and her daddy's money, of course).

A/N: would you guys believe me if I said I've had this concept in the drafts since I was 15? (yes because I have a wip graveyard)

Anyway, I love cheesy 2000s rom-coms (yes I KNOW Pretty Woman is a 90s movie), so I wanted to write one, and Soobin is very much rom-com male lead coded. Hope you enjoy it!

She’s been a part of my life since I was six.

I remember I was playing in a sand pit at my neighborhood park. The sand was wet, courtesy of the rain the day prior, so it was perfect for packing together sturdy sand castles. I didn’t have to worry about sharing the space since the park happened to be empty. The whole sandbox was my metaphorical oyster. My mom was on a nearby bench, reading her book, and my older sister and brother were playing on the swings. 

I was used to playing by myself growing up. Don't get me wrong! I actually enjoyed being by myself most of the time. I was more of the read-comic-books-alone-at-home type. Plus, I had a huge imagination, so I could entertain myself in a doorless, windowless, toyless room for hours on end.

I had just begun digging a moat for the sand castle (my best one ever, in my humble opinion) when a girl about my age appeared in front of me with her hands clasped behind her back. “I really like your sand castle,” she had said, a sweet grin pushing up rosy cheeks.

The girl looked way too clean for a kid, especially one playing at a muddy old park. Her hair was glossy without a single strand out of place and tied up neatly, topped with a blush pink bow. The sparkly dress she wore was the same color, and so were the flats that adorned her feet. She reminded me a little of my sister when we took our family photos last year.

I frowned a little, then shrugged before continuing to dig. “Isth ok, I guess.” 

You see, I had just lost not one, but both of my front teeth, so I talked with a slight lisp.

 Barely a moment passed when the girl plopped down right next to me, getting sand all over her dress. I stared at her wide-eyed and she stared right back at me with a grin, now showing off her missing two front teeth.

“My name is (Y/N)! Can I play wif you?” I was confused as to why such a princess-ey-looking girl wanted to play in the dirty sand. All my sister wanted to do was play with her Barbies, nowhere near dirt. But I was a pretty chill kid, so I shrugged my scrawny shoulders again and replied, “Sure. My name is Soobin.”

We played for what seemed like forever in that sandbox. At one point, I noticed an equally polished-looking man in a suit speaking to my mom on the bench. (Y/N) told me that that was her  “assistant, Seunghyun.” I didn't know what that meant at the time. Neither of us knew what it meant that (Y/N) was an heiress, either, but it was apparently very important.

After that day at the park, my mom organized play dates with (Y/N) through Seunghyun, and she soon became my best friend. For the most part, I went over to her extremely large house. I met her mom and dad, who both dressed a lot fancier than my mom and dad.

(Y/N) (Y/L/N) was the heiress to the multibillion dollar fashion conglomerate, CROWN. They weren't clothes that my family could afford at all, but people that were famous and extremely wealthy could wear once and throw away. Of course, our five and six-year-old minds didn't really understand just how important that was, nor did we really care. All we really cared about was playing and doing things best friends did together.

19 years passed (yes, nineteen) and our friendship never faltered. We both watched each other go through different phases (including my secret crush on her when I was 15, but we don’t need to talk about that). We had fights of course – never anything too serious, but they still happened. They typically always ended with me going to reconcile almost immediately after, but (Y/N) beating me to it with a phone call, wailing and crying about how much she missed me already. She was secretly very sensitive. 

As I grew older, I began to have this nagging feeling that (Y/N)’s parents didn't approve of our friendship. After all, she was extremely rich and important. I was just….Choi Soobin. Normal, not rich Choi Soobin. (Y/N), of course, knew of my anxieties, and was always quick to reassure me. “Soobin, we've been best friends since we were kids. Do you really think that I care if my parents don't like you? I like you, and that's all that matters!”

I was now 25 and (Y/N) was soon to be turning 24. I’ve since moved out of my family's apartment and into my own shortly after college. (Y/N) had also moved out, but into an expensive penthouse. The major difference was that I made just enough for rent and the bills, while (Y/N)’s penthouse was covered by her parents. She tried to beg for something smaller (and further away), but “the heir to a multibillion-dollar business isn’t going to live in a little shanty”, so that was the end of that argument. Instead, she became my non-roomate roommate. Weekends I wasn’t caught up with overtime work and (Y/N) with a photoshoot or party were spent on my couch with a popcorn bucket, fast food, and whatever shows we were feeling that day.

That's where I was today, sitting in my tiny Seoul apartment with (Y/N), watching the first episode of a new slice-of-life anime on Netflix. My head was in (Y/N)’s lap, fingers absentmindedly playing with freshly washed hair as my abnormally long legs hung over the other arm of the tiny two-seater. A perfectly normal way for best friends to hang out.

Her ministrations suddenly came to a halt. “Hey, Soob?”

I looked up and saw (Y/N)’s glowing colors flickering across her features, her eyes still glued to the TV screen.  “What's up?” 

She finally looked down at me and, when she saw my eyes on her, a small grin grew on her face.

“My cousin is getting married and I'm in the wedding party, so I need a date. You wanna pretend to be my boyfriend?”

Pause…WHAT?

coming soon

[saymonsays]

‎✎ masterlist

@saymonsays —

‎status: active / requests open 💌

‎

kwon jiyong fics :

‎ongoing series : Solving for X (And Maybe Love)

‎✎ parts:

1 ‎— Variable Unknown (SFX'AML')

2 ‎— Things I Cant Say Out Loud (SFX'AML')

3 ‎— The Distance Between Our Table (SFX'AML')

‎— [part 4+] coming soon... 👀

other jiyong works :

‎Echoes Of Us

Got you stuck on my body, like a tattoo

choi seunghyun fics :

— Play, Pause, Repeat

dong youngbae fics :

— coming soon 🔒

kang daesung fics :

— From Diapers To Desires

‎🧠 note: more BIGBANG members content is in the works! currently on full jiyong brainrot.

‎

‎🚫 i don’t write for:

‎Youngbae — unless you want him as reader’s cool, overprotective dad 😭💕

‎

[onyxmango]

@thanosscross @jalicecookie

[thanosscross]

New Sneak peek of a story I've been working on <3 Presenting.. Dad! Choi Seung Hyun & Idol! Reader <3

As you'd start to grow in fame, your fans would take notice to certain similarities between you and another Idol, you'd be honored by their theories, with your style of music really ranging, it mainly had one common variant in each song, your ability to rap, being able to rap over 10.13 Syllables per second. The way they'd constantly swear T.O.P from BigBang was a long lost brother, or father, would always charm you, you'd look up to the rapper, especially with him basically setting the bar for any and all K-pop rappers, it was an extreme compliment for you to be compared to him.

You'd never meet T.O.P until your manager would pull him into your first stage rehearsal, it'd be three weeks before you first show, so everybody on your team was stressed, especially whenever you and your chorographer couldn't figure out what you'd do while rapping one of your verses. With rapping, it took a lot of air out of you, especially trying to keep your pitch and keep up with the backtracks, so you couldn't move much, if you'd jump around, run, or dance, you'd surely run out of air before the verse ended, but you also couldn't just stand there. "Y/n! Our little Aein! This is T.O.P, I'm sure you know of him, he's going to help your little problem" YG would cheer, introducing you both before disappearing again into the hall, most likely going to check on other idols and trainees. "Hello, you can just call me Seung Hyun, it's a pleasure to meet you, I've heard you in the studio before, you're rapping is crazy" He smiled, laughing a bit as you both bowed in sync with each other "Nice to meet you! I'm y/n, but you know that" You smiled softly before backing up slightly as your choreographer took over the conversation, as you watched the two converse, you couldn't brush off the feeling of familiarity towards the man, but you couldn't quite place it.

--

What do we think lovelies? don't worry there's still a dad! Ji-Yong coming as well <33

-

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[jimeslifediary]

𝗧𝗛𝗥𝗘𝗘| Thief in her own home

PREVIOUS | MASTERLIST | NEXT

RUMBLING chapter 03: thief in her own house

SHE GETS UP TO THE SOUND OF HER FATHER HUMMING A SONG in the kitchen. She looks at the time and smiles when she notices that there are a couple of minutes left until her alarm goes off, but she stays lying in bed a little longer as she thinks. She remembered that her father always took care of preparing the food when the four of them lived together in the house that now belongs to her mother. The woman is a renowned lawyer, her father is a police officer on duty. She was too busy, with her nose buried in law books to remember that she had a family. Anyway, it was that job that allowed them to live a luxurious life.

Her parents consolidated the divorce a month after Haewon died. But they had been falling out of love for a long time. Kwang Hari, her mother, became one of the best lawyers in the country, she defends any client and wins, even those who have committed real crimes. Her father never agreed and the subject of divorce was something that was on her mother's mind since the first fight regarding a client of hers. Sullyoon always thought that Haewon, in a way, forced them to stay together with her small actions such as forcing her mother to eat fried chicken with them.

Sullyoon knows that her sister was obsessed with the idea of ​​a perfect family, she thinks that she would probably get depressed if she saw what they have become.

Sullyoon's alarm goes off and she decides to start her day.

She makes sure to wash her hair really well when she showers, she puts on only a little makeup because although she doesn't feel that makeup is suitable for school, her pale face needs a little color. She is grateful that her spare uniform has dried overnight, so she won't have to repeat the one she wore the day before. When she's fully dressed, she walks out of the room and heads to the dining room.

"Good morning, sweetie," her father's voice makes her raise her head and she smiles at him. "I packed you lunch for today."

Sullyoon grimaces.

"You know I can buy it at the school cafeteria. It wasn't necessary, dad," the redhead puts the lunch the man made for her in her bag.

Seunghyun doesn't say anything, instead he makes sure to bring the plates of food back to the table so his daughter can have a decent breakfast. He thinks that despite everything, there's still one thing he can do right for her: food. Sullyoon smiles at her father fondly as soon as he sits down in front of her and dedicates himself to eating in silence. If she's honest, she's glad to see her father a little more stable than he was the day before, his eyes no longer wandering off into space, he has a little more color in his face and, most importantly, his hands no longer shake every time he raises them.

They both finish their respective breakfasts in silence, and this time, the girl makes sure to pick up the dishes and wash them before her father can offer. She can tell she's genuinely smiling when she sees him walk over to the couch and grab a magazine, instead of going back to reviewing Haewon's case that's spread out on the board across half the apartment's living room. As she picks up the missing plates from the dining table, she feels her throat close up when her eyes meet the jars of Adderall her father has.

She looks up, he's still reading the magazine, too oblivious to his surroundings. She returns her eyes to the only full jar that even has the purchase receipt on the side. She looks up again, almost expecting to meet her father's eyes. It doesn't happen, he keeps reading. Sullyoon breathes heavily and presses her lips together. She feels like she could fall dizzy at any moment when she takes the jar and hides it in her pocket. Her hands shake as she takes the plates, she flees to the kitchen and focuses on washing them.

The redhead wonders over and over again how wrong she was. She knows her father has become addicted to that thing so he can focus better and not sleep, she knows that if he doesn't find them he becomes a little aggressive because in his mind it's the only way he can focus and finish Haewon's case. But Sullyoon doesn't want to know that her father has lost his life because he's an addict. She's stolen from her father, she feels worse than she ever imagined. But Sullyoon isn't going to back down.

"Leave that, honey," hearing her father's voice only makes her heart drop to her feet and for a moment, she thinks he knows, but when she looks, he's still reading. Sullyoon sighs inaudibly. He still doesn't know, "you'll be late and if your mother finds out that you were reported…"

Seunghyun doesn't need to finish that sentence. Sullyoon mostly lives with that woman and knows her well enough to know that she wouldn't like that. The girl makes sure she has her things, even with her heart thundering in her ears and the bottle of pills weighing her down in the pocket of her green sweater. She hangs her backpack on her shoulder and attracts the man's attention.

"Do you have your EpiPen?" he asks her with his eyebrows raised.

Sullyoon nods.

"Always."

Seunghyun nods pleased with the answer, the man stands up and approaches. Sullyoon can feel her whole body tense. She's nervous, she really thinks he knows, that she's taken his last supply of Adderall. She smiles nervously and prays that he doesn't notice. Her father, on the other hand, lightly surrounds her with his arms.

"Have a nice day, Sully." he pats her shoulder twice and she nods.

Sullyoon shakes her hand back and forth with the intention of leaving. Seunghyun doesn't stop her, nor does he intend to deal with Hari's bad temper, his ex-wife, if it were to happen that their daughter was late for school. So they say goodbye and the redhead leaves that apartment as fast as she can without him noticing that she is dying to leave. Outside, she walks away from the complex as fast as her legs allow her. She thinks that her father will come out to chase her, yelling that she is a bitch for having stolen from him. But he doesn't.

The Kim girl is only able to breathe properly when she has left the narrow streets and hits the main street. She has to stop for a moment, leans her back against a wall of a store and takes a deep breath. Little by little she can feel her pulse stop. Sullyoon is far away and she is safe. She reaches into her pocket and pulls out the bottle of pills, opening it and looking at the contents, round, blue pills. Sullyoon puts the bottle back away and this time picks up his phone.

«Adderall withdrawal symptoms.»

But Sullyoon is unable to see the options that appear on the web page she has entered, because her eyes fall on the time on the top left of her phone.

“Damn.”

The teenager starts running quickly on the way to school, forcing herself to contain the anxiety that comes from knowing that she has the Adderall in her pocket and force her characteristic smile. Usually, she is not late, she never runs to school because she is about to be held up to take her name on a report. But then again, extremes are not a good idea, because there she is, running on her way to school. Sullyoon feels like her legs are burning, she doesn't usually do that kind of activities, she's not used to running and she doesn't stay active, plus the panic attack she suffered that morning when she stole from her father doesn't help much either.

The redhead stops at a traffic light, shaking her left knee as she waits for it to turn green and she can enter her school. It feels like hours have passed, her eyes locked on the red man at the light, even though it's only been a couple of minutes. Sullyoon feels like she can breathe properly when the light turns green and she runs with the crowd, brushing her teacher's ruler with her side as they indicate that it's seven o'clock and whoever comes after is signed up. The girl turns on her heels, giving a quick glance to the students who have been left behind the ruler.

Sullyoon feels her heart stop when she sees Lee Cheongsan smirk at Nam Onjo. She feels an intense heat settle right where her heart should be and she frowns. She wishes he would look at her that way. She swallows, this is not the time to think about stupid things. Sullyoon turns around again and forces a smile, starting her day at school, waving a greeting to the students she doesn't remember.

Sullyoon is the star girl, after all.

[seyoonlgc]

SEYOON'S TRAINEE PERIOD (life & career update)

Okay, this ended up being more of a life update, LOL I mentioned most of the people he interacted with that had a role in his development. Thanks for all the fun threads.

"I joined Legacy in January 2022." Guess it didn't take him that long to debut after all.

How did he get here? Well, Seyoon always told the fans that it's been his dream to entertain and become an idol, but in reality, he had different goals growing up. Once upon a time, he wanted to be a farmer, spend his days with his feet in the mud, fingers smelling of grass and fruits, sweat dripping down his sun-kissed forehead. Seyoon's grandmother always wanted him to go into engineering, and a part of him wanted to fulfill her wishes. Maybe he could be a firefighter too? Those guys looked great on charity calendars, and he could join them.

Well. Whatever. I've got a few years. Seyoon thought back then. Plenty of time for mistakes and do-overs. Let's just play around until we figure things out. Everything will be just fine.

And then his birth mother called. For the first time, she expressed interest in him, her abandoned son. It happened around the time Seyoon needed an escape because of a certain major loss, so he ditched everything in Canada with no hesitation. It turned out that she didn't love him and merely summoned him to appease her new husband, Yoojoon's dad. Seyoon did not get his mother's love as he'd hoped, but at least he was able to obtain Yoojoon's friendship.

He took up a job frying chicken and learned Korean by chatting up beautiful customers like Rowonwon. Eventually, an opportunity came, and he auditioned for Legacy. He thought he would totally fail, but somehow they wanted him. Alright, he thought, guess we'll try to become a celebrity.

Seyoon made a ton of friends, and the years he had as a trainee were awesome. Unlike some others, he wasn't in a hurry. There was a part of him that believed he didn't deserve it anyway. He took Wenjun to a party and showed him the joy of skinny dipping. He helped Daeul 'borrow' an old woman's dog, Oatmeal Latte. He went to an amusement park with Taeha and kept on running into Yuxi & her hot cousin (HMMMMM). He partied with BK and mooched off of Hyuntae. People (was it the church girl Milan?) said he was very similar to Emi, and he absolutely must agree. Seyoon was a huge fan of Yujin and thought she was so gonna debut soon (she did!). He also liked Ichika and helped his friend edit a fanfic of her (and ended up getting caught). Through LGC fall boys he also got a chance to check out Yushin. Mmm yes, that man looked so fine.

A couple of people from his past also showed up: Seunghyun & Jisoo. Both childhood friends, he thought he wouldn't see again. When Seyoon saw Minjun, he thought he saw another childhood friend, but that couldn't be possible because Asher was...Anyway, yeah, he got along with the cute kids, Misaki & Hanie. One was messy with him, and the other was willing to clean for him. He adored both very much.

Though he was reluctant to open up, a few people did touch his heart. Yiran was the first to have an honest conversation, and Yoojoon had Seyoon openly admit he needed him. Haemin took care of Seyoon that one rare time he was sick and vulnerable during Chuseok. It meant more to him than he would ever let on. Rowon knew too many of his secrets, and though that relationship really crashed and burned, Seyoon cannot say he was particularly regretful.

Career-wise, he participated in family concerts and cafe performances. Seyoon jumped on every opportunity and showed his face whenever the company allowed him. He learned how to host and eventually had his podcast, Unexplainable Encounters. That was fun. He had two seasons before his debut and was able to feature lots of his buddies as guests. Though he didn't understand why the company wanted him to, he picked up new languages in workshops.

Oh yeah, he really wanted to be in MZSD, and to this day, believes he would have been amazing there. When he didn't get selected, Seyoon actually felt disappointed for the first time. He considered going into acting at the time because it didn't matter, right? As long as he was getting paid, why should he care what he did?

But he did care. A little. Just enough for him to push a bit harder. At this point, people around him started debuting, including his half-brother. He should be happy for Yoojoon, but envy was beginning to get in the way.

Fall Boys, and then Team Unknown. After that, he debuted with Type Zero along with Jaejin. He was the first choice, though, okay? FIRST CHOICE DAMMIT.

His groupmates were really sweet and super hot (especially leader nim Baekkie), so Seyoon supposed everything did turn out okay and his undeserving ass got way more than he should.

A little more confident, slightly more reassured. Seyoon felt like he was moving forward with a hint of extra maturity as well. It might still take a few years before his brain fully grows into adulthood, but hey, there was no real need to rush, right? At least he'd stopped chasing after every pretty face he saw - oh hey, who's that Minnie?

[luvdive]

✧･ﾟ*✧･ﾟ* wanted connections *･ﾟ✧*･ﾟ✧

some of these are romantic, some are platonic, some could go either way. if you’re interested in any of them, give this post a little like & i’ll come ask you about it!! the ones with a little ✨ next to them are the ones i’m most interested in!!

woo wonjae ✨

i don’t have as much to write for this one lmao. from the age of 16 to 22, wonjae was an illegal underground fighter who people only ever knew as 'boy' because he wouldn't tell anyone his name. he's a loved up househusband now but i want to do more stuff from when he was a street fighter !!!

woo nawon

again now much to say on this one lmao she's interning at her dad's entertainment company i just want her to have industry friends

kim chaerim

hi can i get a boyfriend for chaerim that’s just as directionless as she is?? bonus points if he’s a musician like her & they can just have cliché jam sessions together. alternate plot, because she’s a stubborn Indie Chick™ can i get a bf for her that’s the ceo of an entertainment company or something?? someone that’s linked to the music industry but in a way that she wouldn’t jump at the chance to get a record deal u know??

jung seri ✨

seri is a full time nanny stuck in a relationship with a man that doesn't appreciate her. pspsps a single dad who needs a nanny? cue them flirting with each other (intentionally or unintentionally) until seri realises actually maybe he treats her better than her bf does

sasha shepard

mass effect. mass effect!! mass effect!!! mass effect canons, mass effect ocs, other shepards, aliens with no affiliation to the mass effect universe i don’t fucking care i just love mass effect & i want to do things with sasha already

yi wonju

tw death wonju is a pansori singer first and a witch second!! her husband was her gosu but he died </3 and now she's in need of a new one. must be okay with killing people but living forever as a result xoxo

sadie hwang

tw death lowkey based on you've reached sam & some story i saw on r/nosleep once. sadie's boyfriend died in a car accident & now every friday he calls her and she tries to save him. maybe your muse is one of her friends and is worried about her, maybe they're a new love interest, maybe if we plot it out really well they're her dead boyfriend???

kim eunji

get eunji a boyfriend 2k24 that's all

nam sangchul ✨

tw super junior fc sangchul’s former members!! tl;dr sangchul was the maknae of a boy group called attention when he was 18 until he got into a car accident & after a year of being unhappy he decided to leave the group. it’s been sixteen years & he’s managed to find something that works for him but!!! please god imagine threads w/ him & the rest of attention!! we can decide how successful they were or weren’t, whether they’re still together now or whether they disbanded, all that fun stuff

bong sungmin

ahem celebrity friends with benefits plot?? except maybe your muse catches feelings & sungmin doesn’t know how to deal with that because maybe he’s catching feelings too & trying to pretend he isn’t 🤧

shin raewon pt.1

i’m just a big old sucker for regular customer plots so like?? a girl ( or maybe a guy u know, try and catch him off guard ) that’s been coming to the cafe since it opened & knows all the staff and is just super nice & non-creepy and yeah that’s all i got man

shin raewon pt.2

raewon works at a yaoi cafe and i want coworkers for him that’s it that’s the connection. give him work pals to hang out with away from the cafe, work pals to bitch about weird customers with & gossip about customers they think are Hot™ ( except don’t let his gf find out about that bit lmao ) 

park seunghyun ✨

if you’ve seen cherry magic that’s a bonus but the tl;dr is u get magic powers if ur still a virgin by the time u turn 30. enter seunghyun, our 30 year old virgin. once again the opportunities are plentiful. nosy colleagues, overbearing family members, someone to deflower him, take your pick

aloïs fournier ✨

god how does anyone not know what’s coming for this one i have posted about it 9000 times ever since this stupid cb was announced. A SET OF CONNECTED TBZ MUSES BASED ON THE CONCEPT FOR THE STEALER BUT INSTEAD OF THIS STEALING HEARTS PUSSY SHIT THEY’RE JUST REGULAR CAREER CRIMINALS!!! aloïs is ur resident diamond thief & he’s ready 2 be in a criminal gang

bae seolwoo

tw super junior fc he's divorced! he's a high functioning alcoholic! he's a deadbeat dad! he's the perfect candidate for a university student with terrible taste in men! to talk in fanfic/booktok terms, a sappy grumpy/sunshine cliche. it doesn't have to be a university student (he's a lecturer, that's bad!) but no one in their 30s is going to tolerate him if we're being honest

kwon sanggyun ✨

sanggyun hunts monsters with his besties but only because his main bestie is super hot & sanggyun's in love with him. except seungmin (the bff) has a boyfriend or whatever ugh. what if a cunning shapeshifter pretended to be seungmin & sanggyun was none the wiser???

[aeternxm-aa]

takeo; 🍔 HAMBURGER — is your oc good at cooking? are they good at baking? which one do they prefer?

takeshi; 🖤 BLACK HEART — has your oc killed or seriously wounded anyone before? have they broken someone's heart and/or broken someone's trust?

eito; 🖊️ BALLPOINT PEN — does your oc have any tattoos? do they want any (more) tattoos?

all 3; 🐉 DRAGON — what is your oc's favorite mythical creature?

prompted | @sasouken

TAKEO

Takeo is a decent cook! no chef or anything but he enjoys the act of cooking and, he quickly had to learn how to make a decent meal for himself and takeshi since their father was... not the most present of parents. takeo's love for cooking started when he was clearing out his dad's things after he uh, departed willingly, if you will. amongst all the photos and stuff he found a hand written cookbook that used to belong to his mother. he's been holding onto it ever since and a lot of what he cooks is from that cookbook.

TAKESHI

Depending on what verse -- the answer differs. But for the sake of keeping with main verse takeshi has never killed someone, though he has come very close. he's been forced to do a lot of things that he doesn't want to do in the name of seunghyun but he draws the line at killing because, once you cross that line, there's no coming back. he has put many a people in hospital though. there's no quantifying measure of what his guilt is like, but it's part of the reason he doesn't sleep much -- he's haunted by the things he's had to do in the name of survival.

takeshi believes trust is a precious thing, so i don't think he's KNOWINGLY broken someone's trust, but he's definitely broken a few hearts. budding relationships that ended too quickly because seunghyun had threatened to hurt them if takeshi didn't break up with them. it's the lesser of two evils--

EITO

eito's one has already been answered HERE!

ALL THE OCS!!!!

and last but not least - mythical creatures.

takeshi: dragon. all the way. but like -- the long bois. ( uuhhh, think the ones that you see in LoZ BOTW or TOTK. )

takeo: *cough cough* shapeshifter

eito: Sunekosuri - which are Japanese yokai that are described being very cute but naughty. They love to prank people by tripping them under their feet, like how a cat does when you’re walking. he finds them very cute--