#day 8 - truculent | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

cryingtulips · 1 year

Text

This Place is Not a Home

It took them years to track down Tommy.

No gold blood to trace, no pure feather to be touched, no talk of divine wings held captive. Finding Tommy quickly became a case of finding a needle in a haystack, but Tubbo has always been stubborn.

CW: Religious themes, religious trauma, referenced past abuse and manipulation

crossposted to ao3 || moodbaord || Ch 8 || Ch 9

~+~

Ch 9: Epilogue: I’ll Give You Everything I Have

Time flashed without Tommy. Tubbo wasn’t sure how much had passed since his…departure, if it's been months or years or decades. He didn’t know, nor did he particularly care. It was an unneeded detail, a distraction in his plans.

All that mattered was escaping, and finding the blond.

Escaping wasn’t that hard, not with the Warden laxing on patrols and the others relaxing without anyone to aim their truculent words and trepidatious gazes. Sloppy was the only way to describe it. Sloppy and naive, to think anyone would truly want to stay in Heaven.

(Tubbo wasn’t the only one who was unhappy with the way things operated; there were others like him, those who noticed things weren’t right. That Paradise’s treatment wasn’t ok.)

(Heaven was never successful in silencing the Fallens’ points. The angels heard, and they listened, and only a few chose to voice their outcries towards the mistreatment.)

Tubbo honestly wasn’t sure if he would have been able to disappear without Ranboo’s help, another angel who was also overlooked. Weak, Ranboo was often described as. It’s a shame so many of their strengths were determined by how useful they were to Clara.

While Tubbo hid in the shadows, aiming to be forgotten and unseen, Ranboo took advantage of the other’s disdain, taking notes of weaknesses and patrol routines. They took Tubbo’s perception and Ranboo’s charisma and found those willing to turn a blind eye to the sight of two young angels, slipping through the gates.

If Tubbo knew how simple it would be to leave, he would have done it a lot sooner. That’s what he tried telling himself, at least. But Ranboo, who had heard of nothing but Tommy out of Tubbo’s mouth, knew otherwise. There was never pity in his eyes, aware that they all did what they had to do to survive.)

Tubbo wished that was his excuse. If there was a possibility he knew it would require Tommy’s life to be thrown away for the small possibility of an opening to leave, he desperately wished he could say he would never have befriended Tommy to begin with.

But that would be a lie.

Survival is an ugly thing, and Tubbo has never been a saint.

Survival is an ugly thing, and Tubbo has never shied from using its dark colors for his own benefit.

He just hoped surviving has been easier for Tommy. He hoped his journey wouldn’t lead to finding his best friend dead.

(If Tommy was dead, Tubbo…that would mean everything he did and didn’t do had no point. If Tommy was dead, Tubbo could never apologize, could never say how much he loved the blond and how much he could never regret knowing him.)

(If Tommy, who was everything Tubbo couldn’t dare to be, was dead, there truly was no kindness in the world.)

=+=

It took them years to track down Tommy.

The lack of a trace frustrated Tubbo on the good days, the bad ones left him trembling, thinking the worst had come to his friend, that they were too late.

But the human news never mentioned anything, not even of an alleged angel sighting. No gold blood to trace, no pure feather to be touched, no talk of divine wings held captive. Finding Tommy quickly became a case of finding a needle in a haystack, but Tubbo has always been stubborn.

(There had been a few times he wanted to give up. He was tired, and the idea of living in isolation with Ranboo was tempting. They’ve talked about it, the house they would build together. Tubbo wanted a wooden one, one that gave the impression of something haunted and cursed to drive out unwanted guests with fences and tinted windows. Ranboo wanted something small, warm, and cozy. Something not built out of a need of protection, but something to rest in. Maybe they would own a cat together, Ranboo remembers always wanting one.)

(Tubbo tried driving the guilt away by imagining Tommy with them, laughing freely and yelling without shame. A whirlwind of energy; Tubbo wanted that. He liked to entertain the thought that one day, Tommy would find his way to them.)

(The guilt always won in the end, and off they would set to search. No matter what, Tubbo would always search for Tommy, for however long it needed to take.)

(He wouldn’t abandon Tommy. Not again.)

=+=

It was near December when Tubbo and Ranboo got word of where Tommy might be.

Snowchester wasn’t a big city, nor a small one. It was mediocre, in terms of cities, not as grand or substantial as L’Manburg, but not as penurious or repugnant as Logsted. Tubbo would describe the city as a town that’s been slapped with city as a label; cozy and small with a strong community being the heart of it.

They had been staying in a cheap lodge-style motel when they heard the local talk. The lodge was small, the room cramped where they had requested to stay, the queen bed barely leaving any walkinng room– forget wing space. There was no room for their wings to be free, and even if the duo were used to the confining feeling of binding their wings—the appendages still small but too bright to brush off as detailed accessories—any chance they got to take a break was paradise in their books.

They were in the main hall getting late dinner snacks—an apple for Ranboo and a bagel for Tubbo—when they saw a couple huddled around the fireplace. To play off listening, they both grabbed hot cocoa and sat nearby, far enough to be brushed off but close enough that they had to strain to hear. Their silence could be taken as two people simply gazing out the main window.

“There’s no way that’s true,” what Tubbo deemed as Person A said. “Wouldn’t the city have done something if that was true?”

Silence, and then Person B, “I don’t know, apparently they’ve been here for centuries. Practically founded this place. Be a bit weird to chase off—”

“Ok, no, but like,” Person A interrupted, “what does the city benefit from them? They don’t even live—how do they know we aren’t in danger?”

“Mate, they’re the ones protecting Snowchester. Why do you think no bad events happen here? This city is small but not that small,” Person B explained with a huff.

Person A stayed silent, most likely thinking. “What do you think they are?” Tubbo’s head tilted at the note of unease in their voice. They were scared, but why?

“Locals say they’re guardian angels,” Person B hummed, and both Ranboo and Tubbo tensed at that. “But with ones having wings as black as night,” the person tsked. “Whatever they are, just be grateful they choose to stay peaceful. Rumor is the last time something antagonized them, there was a massacre.”

The conversation faded at that, and a glance at Ranboo confirmed what they were both thinking: they had to find out more about these people. Worst case scenario, they were sent from Heaven to search for them and return them for Clara’s judgment. Best case scenario, maybe they knew Tommy. Maybe they could help find him. If they were like Tubbo and Ranboo, maybe, they could offer protection.

=+=

Christmas had come and gone when Tubbo finally had enough information about the group. They called themselves the Syndicate, a secret organization of exiled and Fallen Angels whose goal was to offer protection and safety for those unfortunate. According to the locals, there are a couple of demons involved (apparently Heaven isn’t the only divine domain that was a mess.)

For such a hidden thing, they had connections spanning the world, ranging from hideouts with materials to human partnerships. Tubbo wondered about the possibility of spies being involved, seeing how much influence they are rumored to have. He wondered if there were any in Heaven during his stay and if he interacted with any…if they helped him and Ranboo escape. (How did Clara never find out? For claiming to be all-knowing, She wasn’t good at reacting to potential threats… Or reacting, period.)

It’s a nice thought, something like destiny, Ranboo exclaimed in relief. Tubbo didn't find it worth dwelling on it, not when this was the biggest clue to Tommy’s whereabouts since that eventual visit to Puffy’s farm a year ago.

Tubbo was tempted to fly straight to the outskirts of Snowchester, hoping to find the alleged Syndicate cabin through the sky himself, even if his wings would cramp and burn from disuse. But he didn’t, too afraid of what-ifs. He knew now that Snowchester was friendly towards those non-human, encouraging their town to provide them a safe haven towards unnaturals. He knew this was thanks to the Syndicate, an unspoken deal both parties have.

But Tubbo didn’t know to what extent that deal provided, if it only went to Syndicate members and those under its protection, or if it included any friendly wandering creature that happened to wander through.

It was an unknown variable, a con that both he and Ranboo weren’t willing to take. If either of them got injured during their mission, and if the people found them and turned out to be hostile…the risk wasn’t worth the possible injuries.

They had no choice but to rely on themselves.

They began to gather materials and began their journey through the wilderness.

They traveled through deep snowy banks, through trees that sang of protection and danger, through fog and biting winds. They long past the distance where they couldn’t even make out the outlines of Snowcheter, dim lights only memorized pictures in their heads now.

It was only when they ran out of their supplies did they decide to risk flight, backpacks and bags now useless, but no more hindered by the lack of weight. The further they traveled, the denser the forest became. Tubbo joked that this was the Dark Forest human folktales loved to talk about, as not even light that filtered through the trees. If they were not angels, with pure wings that glowed, they would have long lost their way.

“Maybe that’s the point,” Ranboo pointed out. “Maybe that means we’re close.”

Tubbo could only hope.

=+=

They heard Tommy first before they saw him.

They were silent as they spotted warm lights, a cabin starting to come into view the closer they got.

It was quiet, and Tubbo tried not to become jittery at it. The silence could mean anything, it didn’t always mean danger. Silence, as Tubbo was learning, didn’t always have to signify alarm bells. Sometimes, and this was hard for him to remember, silence could allude to serenity, and trust.

They didn’t even reach the loose wood fencing when a shrill shout echoed the scenery, causing both Tubbo and Ranboo to tense—the latter already having his wings flared in protection—before familiar rambunctious laughter followed suit.

Tubbo found himself freezing, mind coming to a complete stop at the noise.

(It wasn’t often he heard Tommy laugh, not with such unrestricted joy and absence of fear of punishment. It wasn’t often Tommy laughed loud and unruly. It was a rare treasure, one Tubbo had only heard once since knowing the other. It was only once, but it was forever cemented into his mind, a new-found desire to make Tommy laugh like that, to see his eyes crinkled at the edges and for him to wheeze out of pure amusement.)

He heard it only once, but Tubbo could never forget the source of that laughter.

He barely glanced at Ranboo before he was jumping across the fencing, tired wings dragging behind him as he rushed toward.

There, Tommy was right in front of him. There were two people with him—one on the floor, snow clinging to feathers and hair, the other looking unbothered as he bent down to grab another pile of snow. Tubbo didn’t process any words spoken, didn’t even process the existence of these two people. His eyes were only on Tommy.

Tommy, who looked healthier than Tubbo knew was possible, Tommy whose eyes sparkled with mirth and smile big. Tommy–Tommy–Tommy—

He tackled Tommy, tears already falling and he squeezed with a strength he had thought he lost over the years. There were multiple alarmed shouts behind him, but none of that mattered. “Tommy,” he kept muttering, “Tommy, Tommy, Tommy.”

Hands were shoving him away from Tommy before he knew it, and he snarled at the other two people, already perceiving them as a threat as they stood in front of Tommy. But then Ranboo gathered him and started whispering for him to calm down.

“Who are you, and how did you find us,” the pink-haired one demanded. The guttural growl brought Tubbo out of his stupor, and only then did he take into account the scene in front of him.

The one with pink hair was standing toe-to-toe against Tubbo and Ranboo, using his height as an advantage to tower over them as shadow figures started to surround them. He was a fighter, that much was evident with his posture and the pure animosity in his eyes. If he perceived them anymore as a threat, Tubbo wouldn’t be surprised if he would simply tear them limb to limb.

The second one had his wings out, flared protectively with Tommy hidden behind him, eyes holding a predator’s gaze as they tracked every movement Tubbo and Ranboo made. Hiding behind and relying on the other man to fight, it was obvious the one with wings wasn’t a warrior, but the dark eyes locked on them promised endless pain if they even stepped his way.

Tubbo tried maneuvering to see behind the brunette’s wings, but as he did so a snarl was his only warning as he stepped closer, Tubbo stumbling back in response.

“I won’t ask you again,” the pink-haired man warned, “what is your business here.”

“Tommy–“ Tubbo ignored the warning, focus only on the blond in front of him. “Tommy, are you alright? Are you ok?” Are you in danger?

Two shadowed hands gently pushed the wings down, and Tubbo only got a glimpse of familiar blue eyes before they disappeared again as the brunette shifted, feathers successful in hiding Tommy again. “I’m alright,” Tommy promised. “These two idiots are just very protective.”

Then before Tubbo could react, the shadowed hands yanked on the wings, causing the brunette to stumble over and trip face-first into the snow again, pointedly staring at the others as he walked to Tubbo.

Tommy was talking, but Tubbo didn’t hear what because his focus was centered on what changed about his friend. Tommy’s wings used to always be the weakest out of the angels, small and underdeveloped, weak but rich in white and gold feathers. Now, there was no evidence Tommy was a servant of Clara.

Tommy’s wings were pitch black now, just like the tips of his fingers that faded in intensity as it got further up his hand. Instead of gold feathers, the shadowed feathers had blended patches of white and bright red, feathers shiny and well-taken care. Tommy’s wings were still small, still on the underdeveloped side, but clearly, he was being taken care of. Healing, if Tubbo was reading the situation correctly.

And how wild would that be, that Tommy’s wings would only improve away from Clara’s influence. Clara, Lady of Light and promising eternal rest, simultaneously causing bodily harm to Her believers. Looking back to how often Tommy would lose feathers, it’s not that shocking.

“Heeey, big man,” Tommy tried to joke, “how have you been?”

The brunette furrowed his brows as Tubbo muttered out “what the fuck.” Tubbo watched as the former placed his hands on Tommy’s shoulders, gaze still on them as he asked, “Tommy, do you know these two?”

Tommy glanced at Ranboo, not recognizing him, before meeting Tubbo again. “Yeah…this is— this is Tubbo.” There was meaning to his words, as evidenced by the startled looks his way.

There was silence before the pink-haired man grabbed the brunette and started walking away. “I think that’s time for us to leave. Come on Wilbur–“

“Wait what,” Wilbur stumbled, “wait no Techno—“

Techno repeats himself with a pointed stare. “And it’s time for us to go.”

The three watched as the two walked away, Wilbur protesting the whole time until the slam of the door separated them, an uncertain silence following them. Ranboo cleared his throat, and awkwardly pointed to the cabin. “I’m just, I’m just gonna. Follow them.”

Tubbo and Tommy both watched as he shuffled through the door, tall figure disappearing a lot quieter.

An awkward silence filled the space between them, something heavy hanging over them until Tommy sighed. “Come on,” he ran his hands through his hair. “I think, I think there’s a lot we have to catch up on.”

Tubbo couldn’t agree any harder and followed Tommy as he led them to the side of the house, where a little sheltered-fenced area rested. There were wolves in it, some sleeping through the gate opening and closing, some briefly squinting their eyes open before huffing to sleep again. A small number, only four, walked up to Tommy, tails wagging as they circled him further in.

Tommy sat in the middle of the area, dogs either curling in his lap or around him. Tommy patted the space beside him, and Tubbo glanced at the dogs before slowly sitting down. One of the dogs, a small one–maybe a year old, walked over, sniffing before flopping down to lay its head on his foot, breathing out as it closed its eyes. The fur was soft, and Tubbo relaxed at the weight as he slowly threaded his fingers over its back.

Tubbo glanced at Tommy and paused at the sight of Tommy practically cuddling in a pile of wolves, eyes content and posture relaxed. He was glad Tommy found a place that made him feel safe, and happy. He was so used to fearing the worst, that honestly, Tubbo didn’t care for the demon traits Tommy now possessed. Tommy was safe, and that will always matter more than all the stupid bullshit Heaven preached.

“I missed you man,” Tubbo whispered as he continued to watch Tommy, eyes becoming misty. “I really missed you.”

“I missed you too,” Tommy said back, words absent of any hurt or resentment. That surprised Tubbo, making him frown.

“What..what happened? Why don’t you blame me for what happened? Why–what happened to you?”

“It’s a long story,” Tommy sighed. “I, uh. I basically got lucky? Met someone with connections to the Crafts, and they helped me,” Tommy explained. “You met Wilbur and Techno, who both helped me in their own ways. Phil isn’t here currently, he had a Syndicate matters to attend to. But uh, he made me realize where we lived—“ he gestured back and forth between himself and Tubbo—“the way we were treated, none of that was normal. Or healthy.” Tubbo knew that, knew that a long time ago. He’s relieved Tommy also recognizes that. “He helped me. They all did,” Tommy swore.

“They’re good then,” Tubbo responded. “Not good as in what we were taught, but genuinely good. They want the best for you.”

That fond smile was back again. “Yeah. Yeah, they really do.”

“I’m glad. You deserve good things Tommy.”

Tommy’s smile grew a little sadder at those words, but before Tubbo could take them back or apologize, Tommy was already stumbling forward. “You deserve good things too, Tubbo. You…you went through so much, and I–I couldn’t do anything to help,” he babbles on before Tubbo could correct him, “we both went through so much. It wasn’t right, but it’s not like we can change what happened. That’s what Phil says at least”

Tubbo’s wings shuffled at the words, and he couldn’t help but glance at Tommy’s again. Tubbo had never seen a Fallen’s wings before, he always imagined they had none. After all, angels only had wings because of Clara’s blessing. With that gone…there was no way to maintain the gifted appendages.

But Tommy still had his, different sure, but part of Tommy all the same.

Tubbo didn’t know what that meant; if Clara’s blessing was a lie, or if the wings were meant to be something else.

“I’m glad, that you're happy, I mean. I was—I was so scared I wouldn’t find you again. Or worse, that you were—“ Tubbo cut himself off before he could finish. He knew Tommy was safe now, had physical proof of this, but still. Saying it made it feel like it could still happen, like they could never be truly safe.

Tubbo startled as familiar hands grabbed his own, familiar tight grip in his. “I’m fine now,” Tommy assured, “see Tubbo, I’m fine. I promise, everything is ok now.”

Tubbo leaned against Tommy at the words, content and tired enough to not care about passing out in an enclosed space full of animals. “I’m glad,” Tubbo murmured tiredly, “everything’s going to be ok now.” It’s not, they still have talks to be had, topics to apologize for, and places to figure out. But Tubbo was with Tommy, and for the first time since death, they were free in every way that counts.

“Go to sleep Tubbo,” there was another squeeze against his hand, and Tubbo felt Tommy curl up against him, wings hesitantly wrapping around him. “We can talk more in the morning.”

“Ok,” Tubbo softly said, eyes already closing.

Everything will make sense in the morning. They’re safe now.

They’re safe now.

#mcytblr au fest #mcytblraufest23 #this place is not a home #dream smp #dsmp #clingy duo #clingyduo #c!tubbo #c!tommy #dsmp tubbo #dsmp tommy

0 notes

catalina-martinez · 2 years

Photo

Francisco Diego Arguello Cisco // 20/189 // Vampire // Unaffiliated

Happiness Is Just The Absence Of Pain!

[ benjamin wadsworth | he/him | 20/189 ] rumor has it that francisco arguello has been seen wandering around town. they are a vampire who is one of the survivors. they are known to be arrogant but deep down they are sensitive. when it comes to the brewing conflict in new orleans they’re on the side of the unaffiliated.

BASICS

Name: Francisco Diego Arguello Nicknames/Alias: Cisco Face Claim: Benjamin Wadsworth Age: 20/189 Gender: Male Sexuality: Heterosexual Date/Place of Birth: Albuquerque, New Mexico in 1840 Currently: New Orleans, LA Nationality/Species: Mexican, Iranian, Swedish, Native American Place of work: Rousseau’s Rank: Bartender

PERSONALITY

Positives/Virtues/Skills:

dauntless – not frightened or discouraged

resilient – the ability to recover from failures or setbacks

adventurous - willing to take risks or to try out new methods, ideas, or experiences.

charismatic - exercising a compelling charm which inspires devotion in others.

persuasive - good at persuading someone to do or believe something through reasoning or the use of temptation.

sensitive - good at persuading someone to do or believe something through reasoning or the use of temptation.

Flaws/Weaknesses:

arrogant - having or revealing an exaggerated sense of one's own importance or abilities.

compulsive - resulting from or relating to an irresistible urge, especially one that is against one's conscious wishes.

impulsive - acting or done without forethought.

truculent - eager or quick to argue or fight; aggressively defiant.

cantankerous - bad-tempered, argumentative, and uncooperative.

aggressive - ready or likely to attack or confront; characterized by or resulting from aggression.

Likes Favourite colour? Crimson Red Favourite foods? Rare Steak, Burgers, Bacon, Asparagus Favourite music? Pretty versatile Favorite books? Old timer classics

Fears: Fears the idea of losing the one person that he cares most for in the world; Letting people see the real him and not the asshole facade he puts on

RELATIONSHIPS

Parents: Diego Arguello (Father) Francesca Arguello (Mother)

Siblings: Clara Arguello (Younger Sister, Wanted Connection)

Children: N/A

Other family: N/A Spouse: N/A Current Partner: Ember Bryant-Kenner Ex-Partners: TBD Boss/Employer: TBD Co-Workers: TBD Friends: Casper Cordeaux (Best Friend) Enemies: TBD

PHYSICAL DESCRIPTION

Build: 5'9”, 158 lbs, Muscular build Hair Colour: Dark brown, almost always curly Eye Colour: Dark Brown Distinguishing Marks: Scar over his brow to about halfway down his cheek from below his left eye; various scars across his back and torso from beatings he got as a kid/teen

Accomplishments: TBD

Regrets: TBD

Secrets: Secretly dating his best friends little sister

HISTORY

Born in 1840 to two loving and doting parents

Little sister was born 4 years after him and he has always been overprotective of her

At the age of 10, his parents were murdered

Cisco and Clara ended up in an orphanage that was more a sweat shop than an orphanage.

Most of the scars that scatter his body are from this place (including the one on his eye) where he spent the last 8 years of his childhood.

Aging out of the orphanage was the worst thing he ever had to do. Leaving behind his sister, though, he constantly checked in on her and had secret meetings outside of the orphanage late at night.

At the age of 20, there was an incident and Francisco was transitioned into a vampire.

After a few weeks of strengthening himself and learning to control (thanks to the vampire who saved his life and took him in), Francisco returned to the orphanage where his now 16 year old sister was still at and massacred the entirety of the adults there, taking his sister away from there and placing her with a decent family that needed some help. A family that he had stayed with from 18 to the age of 20.

Present day time, Francisco met Casper Cordeaux in college, where he was attending (tbd why he was attending the college haven’t decided what he wanted to major in). Upon meeting Casper’s little sister, Cisco found himself intrigued by the little wolf and even more so once she had transitioned to a tribrid. The pair have been secretly dating for at least a year now and upon her transition, Cisco did his best to help her find her control.

#ffh.intro

0 notes

betterdaysareatoenailaway · 4 years

Text

RANDOM REVIEW #2: ANY GIVEN SUNDAY (1999)

“This game has got to be about more than winning. You’re part of something.” Any Given Sunday (1999), directed by Oliver Stone and featuring Jamie Foxx, Dennis Quaid, Cameron Diaz, Al Pacino, LL Cool J, James Woods, and Matthew Modine, is my favourite sports movie of all time. Of all time.

I’m not betraying my favourite sport by saying this. The Mighty Ducks is a kid’s movie. It’s okay, but it’s not a timeless classic. I don’t like the Slap Shot series, Sudden Death is fun but silly, and the Goon movies were a missed opportunity. The only truly good scene in Goon is the diner scene where Liev Schreiber tells Seann William Scott: “Don’t go trying to be a hockey player. You’ll get your heart ripped out.”

Such is the sad circumstance of the hockey enforcer. They all want to play, not just fight. Here’s a link to a video in which the most feared fighter in the history of the NHL, Bob Probert, explains that he wanted to be “an offensive threat...like Bobby Orr,” not a fighter: https://youtu.be/4sbxejbMH4g?t=118 Heartbreaking. But not unusual.

Donald Brashear, Marty McSorley, Tie Domi, Stu “The Grim Reaper” Grimson, Frazer McLaren: they all had hockey skills. But they were told they had to fight to remain on the roster, so they fought. As Schreiber says in the film: “You know they just want you to bleed, right?” If the players don’t bleed, they don’t get to stay on the team. So they fight, and they pay dearly for it later. Many former fighters have CTE or other head injuries that make day-to-day life difficult. The makers of Goon should have taken that scene and run with it. I was so disappointed they didn’t, especially given what happened right around the time the film came out, with the tragic suicides of Wade Belak, Derek Boogaard, and Rick Rypien, all enforcers, all dead in a single summer. So Hollywood hasn’t even made a good hockey movie, let alone a great one. Baseball has a shitload of good films, probably because the slower pace of play makes it easier to film. Moneyball has a terrific home run scene, Rookie of the Year does too. Angels in the Outfield was a big favourite of mine when I was a kid, plus all the Major League films, and Bull Durham.

Football has two good movies: The Program (1993) and Rudy (1993).

And football has one masterpiece. The one I am writing about today.

A young Oliver Stone trying not to die in Vietnam. ^ Now, I know Stone is laughed at these days, given his nutty conspiracy theories and shitty behaviour and the marked decline in the quality of his films (although 2012’s Savages was underrated). I know Stone is about as subtle as a sledgehammer, but do you want a football movie to be subtle? Baseball, sure. It’s a game of fine distinctions, but football? Football is war. And war is about steamrolling the enemy, distinctions be damned, which is why Any Given Sunday is such an amazing sports film. I love the way it shows the dark side of football. In fact, the film is so dark that the NFL withdrew their support and cooperation, forcing Stone to create a fictitious league and team to portray what he wanted to portray.

This is not to say the movie is fresh or original. Quite the opposite. Any Given Sunday has every single sports film cliché you can think of. But precisely because it tries to stuff every single cliché into its runtime, the finished product is not a cliched mess so much as a rich tapestry, a dense cinema verite depiction of the dizzying highs and depressing lows of a professional sports team as it wins, loses, parties, and staggers its way through a difficult season. Cliché #1: The aging quarterback playing his final year, trying to win one last championship. (Dennis Quaid)

Sample dialog: Dennis Quaid (lying in a hospital bed severely injured): Don’t give up on me coach. Al Pacino: You’re like a son to me. I’ll never give up on you. ^ I know this sounds awful. But it’s actually fuckin’ great. Cliché #2: The arrogant upstart new player who likes hip hop and won’t respect the old regime. (Jamie Foxx)

Cliché #3: The walking wounded veteran who could die if he gets hit one more time. Coincidentally, he needs just one more tackle to make his million-dollar bonus for the season. (Lawrence Taylor)

Cliché #4: The female executive in a man’s world who must assert herself aggressively in order to win the grudging respect of her knuckle-dragging male colleagues (Cameron Diaz). Diaz is fantastic in the role, though she should have had more screen time, given that the main conflict in the film is very much about the new generation, as represented by her and Jamie Foxx, trying to replace the old generation, represented by Al Pacino, Dennis Quaid, Jim Brown, and Lawrence Taylor. Some people think Diaz’s character is too calculating, but here’s the thing: she’s right. Too many sports GMs shell out millions for the player an individual used to be, not the player he presently is. “I am not resigning a 39-year old QB, no matter how good he was,” she tells Pacino’s coach character, and you know what? She’s right. The Leafs’ David Clarkson signing is proof positive of the perils of signing a player based on past performance, not current capability. Diaz’s character is the living embodiment of the question: do you want to win, or do you want to be loyal? Cuz sometimes you can’t do both.

Cliché #5: The team doctor who won’t sacrifice his ethics for the good of the team (Matthew Modine).

Cliché #6: The team doctor who will sacrifice his ethics for the good of the team (James Woods)

Cliché #7: The grizzled, thrice-divorced coach who has sacrificed everything for his football team, to the detriment of his social and familial life, who must give a stirring speech at some point in the film (Al Pacino…who goes out there and gives the all-time greatest sports movie “we must win this game” speech)

Cliché #8: The assistant or associate coach who takes a parental interest in his players, playing the good cop to the head coach’s bad cop (former NFL star Jim Brown).

Best quote: “Who wants to be thinking about blitzes and crossblocks when you’re holding your grandkids in your arms? That’s why I wanna coach high school. Kids don’t know nothing. They just wanna play.”

Cliché #9: The player who can’t stop doing drugs (L.L. Cool J).

Okay, so the first thing that needs to be talked about is Al Pacino’s legendary locker room speech. Now, it’s the coach’s job to rile up and inspire the players. But eloquence alone won’t do it. If you use certain big words, you lose them (remember Brian Burke being endlessly mocked by the Toronto media for using the word “truculent?”). The coach must deliver the message in a language the players understand, while still making victory sound lofty and aspirational. This is not an easy thing to accomplish. One of my favourite inspirational lines was spoken by “Iron” Mike Keenan to the New York Rangers before Game 7 against the Vancouver Canucks in 1994. “Win tonight, and we’ll walk together forever.” Oooh that’s gorgeous. But Pacino’s speech is right up there with it.

“You know, when you get old in life…things get taken from you. That’s parta life. But you only learn that when you start losin’ stuff. You find out…life’s this game of inches. So’s football. In either game – life or football – the margin for error is so small. I mean…one half a step too late or too early and you don’t quite make it…one half second too slow, too fast, you don’t quite catch it. The inches we need are everywhere around us. They’re in every break of the game, every minute, every second. On this team, we fight for that inch. We claw with our fingernails for that inch. Because we know when we add up all those inches that’s gonna make the fuckin difference between winnin’ and losin’! Between livin’ and dyin’!” https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m_iKg7nutNY Somehow, against all odds, Any Given Sunday succeeds. It is the Cinderella run of sports movies. You root for the film as you watch it. The dressing room scenes are incredible…the Black players listen to the newest hip hop while a trio of lunkhead white dudes headbang and scream “Hetfield is God.” There is a shower scene where a linebacker, tired of being teased about the size of his penis, tosses his pet alligator into the showers where it terrorizes his tormentors. There is a scene where a halfback has horrible diarrhea, but he’s hooked up to an IV so the doctor (Matthew Modine) has to follow him into the toilet cubicle, crinkling his nose as the player evacuates his bowels. There is a scene where someone loses an eye (the only scene in the film where Stone’s over-the-top approach misses the mark). There are scenes that discuss concussions (which is why the NFL refused to cooperate for the film), where Lawrence Taylor has to sign a waiver absolving the team of responsibility if he is hurt or paralyzed or killed. I wonder how purists and old school football fans reacted to the news that Oliver Stone was making a football film. If they even knew who he was (not totally unlikely…Stone made a string of jingoistic war movies in the 1980s) they probably thought the heavy hands of Oliver would ruin the film, take the poetry out of every play. But the actual football is filmed perfectly. The camera gets nice and low for the tackles. It flies the arcs of perfect spiral passes. It shows the chaos of a defensive line barreling down the field. When Al Pacino asked quarterback Dan Marino (fresh off his own Hollywood experience acting in Ace Ventura: Pet Detective) what it was like to be an NFL QB, Marino said: “Imagine standing on a highway with traffic roaring at you while trying to read Hamlet.” A great explanation. Shoulda made the movie. So the football itself is fabulously done. Much better than what Cameron Crowe did in the few football scenes in Jerry Maguire. The Program had some great football, as did Rudy, but neither come close to the heights of Any Given Sunday. In one of the film’s best scenes, Jamie Foxx insists that his white coaches have routinely placed him in situations where he was doomed to fail or prone to injury, and we believe him because white coaches have been doing that to Black players for decades. Quarterback Doug Williams, who led his Washington Redskins team to a Superbowl victory in 1987, was frequently referred to by even liberal media outlets as a “Black quarterback,” instead of just “quarterback,” as if his skin colour necessitated a qualification. Even now, in 2021, the majority of quarterbacks are white, although the gap is gradually closing. The 2020 season saw the highest number of starting Black quarterbacks, with 10 out of a possible 32. Quarterback is the most cerebral position on the field, and for a long time there was a racist belief that Black men couldn’t do the job. Foxx’s character is a composite of many of the different Black quarterbacks who came of age in the 1990s, fighting for playing time against white QBs beloved by their fan base, fawned over in hagiographic Sports Illustrated profiles, and protected by the good ol’ boys club of team executives and coaching staff. Foxx’s character isn’t demoted because he can’t play the game. He wins several crucial games for his team en route to the playoffs. He’s demoted because he listens to hip hop in the dressing room, because he recorded a rap song and shot a video for it, and because he’s cocky. Yes, the scene where he asks out Cameron Diaz is sexist, as if her power only comes from her sexuality, not her intelligence and business acumen, but it’s meant to show how overly confident Foxx is, not that he’s a sexist prick. Any Given Sunday isn’t a single issue film. It’s basically an omni-protest piece. It gleefully shows football’s dark side, and there is no director better than Oliver Stone for muck-raking. He’s in full-on investigative journalist mode in Any Given Sunday, showing how and why players play through serious brain injuries. How because they are given opiates, often leading to debilitating addictions (this happens in all contact sports...Colorado Avalanche player Marek Svatos overdosed on heroin a few years after retiring from injuries). As to why, Stone gives two reasons. One, team doctors are paid by the team, not the players, therefore their decisions will benefit the team, not the players. And two, the players themselves are encouraged to underreport injuries and play through them because stats are incentivized. James Woods unethical doctor argues with Modine’s idealistic one because an MRI the latter called for a player to have costs the team $20k. But the player in question, Lawrence Taylor, plays anyway because his contract is stat incentivized and if he makes on more tackle he gets a million dollars. Incentivizing stats leads to players playing hurt. And although I loathe this term, a lazy go-to for film critics, Stone really does give an unflinching account of how this shit happens and why. When Williams is inevitably hurt and lying prone on the field, he woozily warns the paramedics who are placing him on a stretcher to “be careful…I’m worth a million dollars.” It’s tragic, yet you’re happy for him. The film really makes you care about these guys. Thanks to the smartly written script, the viewer knows that Williams has four kids, and you’re pleased he made his bonus because, in all likelihood, after he retires, his injuries will prevent him from any kind of gainful employment (naturally, they give the TV analyst jobs to retired white players, unless Williams can somehow land the coveted token Black guy gig). Stone is not above fan service, a populist at heart, and he stuffs the film with former and then-current NFL players, a miraculous stunt given the fact that the NFL revoked their cooperation. Personally, I think this was a good thing because it meant Stone didn’t have to compromise (the league wanted editorial say on all issues pertaining to the league…meaning they would have cut the best storyline, which is the playing hurt one). It also meant that they had to rename the team and the league. While I’m sure this took away from the realism for some fans, I’m cool with it. It also allowed the moviemakers to name the team the Sharks, a perfect name for this roving band of predatory capitalist sports executives. In another example of fan service, the call-girl Pacino’s quintessential lonely workaholic character rents a girlfriend experience from is none other than Elizabeth Berkley of Showgirls, who had been unfairly blacklisted after the titular Verhoven/Esterhaz venture, a movie my wife showed me one day while I was dopesick, which I became so transfixed and mesmerized by that I forgot I was. As mentioned above, the only misstep in the film is one of the offshoots of the Playing Hurt arc, where a player loses an eye on the field. Not because he gets poked, but because he gets hit so hard his eye simply falls out. A medic runs onto the field and puts the white globe on ice. Stone cast a player with a glass eye in order to achieve this effect. No CGI! Still, the scene is unconvincing, a tad too over-the-top. But this is Oliver Stone. At least Any Given Sunday’s sole over-the-top moment is a throwaway scene lasting all of thirty seconds. It easily could have been a secondary plot-line in which government officials try to sneak a Cuban football prodigy out of Castro’s communist stronghold but the player is brutally murdered the morning the officials arrive at his apartment to escort him to the private plane. Or else the team GM is revealed to be a massive international cocaine dealer. Or the tight end is one half of a serial killer couple. The film follows its own advice, focusing more on the players growth, particularly Beamon��s (Foxx). The anonymity of the title, Any Given Sunday, elevates the game, not the players. Thank God, the movie doesn’t force Beamon to assimilate into Pacino’s mold. He buys into the team-first philosophy without renouncing his idiosyncratic POV or his fierce individuality. This is a triumph. One of my biggest problems with sports is the flattening effect it can have on creative individuals. Players take media training in order to sound as alike as possible during media interviews, a long row of stoic giants spouting cliches. It’s boring. Which is why media latch onto a loudmouth, even while they scold him for it. All sports are dying for an intelligent mouthpiece who can explain his motivations in a succinct, sound-bite-friendly, manner. Sports are entertainment. As much as I love Sidney Crosby, in my heart I have to go with Alexander Ovechkin because Ovechkin is far more thrilling, both on and off the ice. Unlike almost every other NHL star before him, all of whom were forced to kneel and kiss Don Cherry’s Rock Em Sock Em ring, Ovechkin defiantly told the media he simply did not care about Cherry or Cherry’s disgusting parental reaction to one of Ovie’s more creative goal celebrations (called a “celly” in the biz). On the play in question, Ovechkin scored the goal, then dropped his stick and mimed warming his hands over it, as if his stick were on fire. As cheesy as the celebration appeared to the naked eye, it’s both a funny and accurate notion. Ovechkin was the hottest scorer in the league for many years and his stick was on fire, metaphorically speaking. The only celly I can think of that matches up in terms of creativity and entertainment value came from Teemu Selanne in 1993, who scored a beauty of a goal, threw one of his gloves straight up into the air, then pumped his stick like a shotgun while “shooting” his glove. Of course, Cherry took exception to it. Cherry’s favourite goal celebration features Bobby Orr putting his head down and refraining from raising his hands over his head. Cherry’s idea of an appropriate goal celly is no celly at all. This from a man who claims “we’ve got to sell our game.” But when an arrogant player shows up and he’s not white, he’s in for a shitload of bad press. Foxx’s Beamon illustrates this beautifully when he yells at Pacino after Pacino cuts him for an older QB who has lost four games this season. “Don’t play that racism card with me,” Pacino warns. “Okay…okay…” Foxx nods, “Maybe it’s not racism. Maybe it’s ‘placism’…as in…a brother got to know his place.”

youtube

Here is the original theatrical trailer, featuring Garbage’s classic “Push It.”

youtube

Above Lawrence Taylor begs Matthew Modine for Cortazone. There’s also a great scene where Pacino is trying to figure out where he has gone wrong and Diaz just looks at him. “You got old,” she says simply. No enterprise is more cruel to an aging human being than sports. And this movie makes football a big giant corporate machine that chews players up and spits them out, injured and drug addicted, after four or five years. Those who play for a decade are lucky. This is still how the NFL works. And the NHL is increasingly becoming a young man’s game. Experience matters less and less.

When I started watching hockey in the 90s, players regularly competed into their late 30s. Not so anymore. Players peak at 23-24 now, and are often out of the league by age 35. Thornton and Chelois are exceptions, not the rule. After more than two hours, Any Given Sunday finally lurches across the finish line, bravely refusing to give its viewers a traditional happy ending, in the great tradition of underdog sports films like Rocky and Rudy. The bombshell dropped by Pacino’s character at the end feels less surprising than inevitable, but by now the movie has explored so much of professional sports' seedy underbelly that you're glad it's over. The film is great but exhausting. Stone seems to be advancing the notion that the sport itself is pure, but the people in it are corrupt. If money weren’t involved, the game would be played for its own sake.

I agree with this. People playing pond hockey are engaging in wholesome fun, not necessarily practicing to make a professional league. Commerce corrupts the purity of the game, and the extent to which it corrupts is directly proportional to how badly the individual in question needs the commerce. Of course, the sport is highly racialized, with people in positions of authority white, and those being told what to do with their bodies Black.

Any Given Sunday is an important film, but it never sacrifices entertainment for the sake of moralizing. That it pulls off such a strong moralistic stance is a testament to the actors, who are all incredible, and the material, which is among the strongest of Stone’s career.

He never really made a great movie after this one. So check it out sometime.

#betterdaysareatoenailaway #anygivensunday #al pacino #jamie foxx #dennis quaid #james woods #matthew modine #jim brown #lawrence taylor #cameron diaz #ll cool j

14 notes · View notes

michael-weinstein · 4 years

Text

Reacting to David Hurwitz

Some weeks ago I came across the recently opened Youtube channel of David Hurwitz, a music critic who wrote reviews for High Fidelity and Amazon, and the founder and executive editor of the website Classics Today. I agree with some of his opinions, though I do disagree with him a good deal. But the straw that broke the camel's back was one of his early videos, which is titled: Classical Music's 10 Dirtiest Secrets. I was so alarmed by it, that I decided at once to stop watching his videos and to omit him from my YouTube recommendations. Today I've decided to finally face Mr. Hurwitz and express my reactions to his "secrets". Now, more than my opinions being lauded, I actually want people to congratulate me for copying the entire script, unabridged, because it was painful for me to do so, since I disagree with practically every "secret". And in response to some of the comments, Mr. Hurwitz said something to the effect of "some people here don't have a sense of humor!" Well, I do have a sense of humor (you can blame my parents for that), but if you, dear Herr Prof. Hurwitz, say you're joking, you've got to make that more clear in your arguments. Well, here is, without further ado, Classical Music's 10 Dirtiest Secrets by Mr. David Hurwitz.

[This is] the antidote to all of that PR we hear these days, that tells us that just because something is "classical", it must all be equally fabulous and we just can't get enough. Well, here's a news flash: it's not. Witness the following:

1. Mozart really does all sound the same. Yes, he was a genius. Yes, he wrote 620-some-odd pieces in 35 years, but let's face it. How different can they be? Even Toscanini thought they all sounded the same.

2. Beethoven's Grosse Fuge is just plain ugly. I mean, if you ever listen to that thing recently, it sounds like four dying cattle. I know we're supposed to be amazed at its contrapuntal mastery, and it's transcendental what-not whatever. It's ugly, let's not kid ourselves.

3. Wagner's operas are much better with cuts. I mean nothing, nothing has the right to be 4 or 5 hours long at a stretch. I mean, you go to the Met at 6 in the evening, and you don't leave till after midnight? You got to be crazy. The shorter it is, the better it is.

4. No one cares about the first 3 movements of Berlioz's Symphonie Fantastique. I mean, nobody. We all want to hear The March to the Scaffold and then The Dream of the Witches' Sabbath. That's the hot stuff, that's were the music gets really juicy and exciting. The first 3 movements are more than a half hour [long], they're just preludial. I mean you sit through them politely, but then you wait to get your pulse racing, right? When the guy's head gets chopped off and the witches start hopping around. I mean, you know, he really should have just written the last 2 [movements] and left off the first 3, I think.

5. Schoenberg's music never sounds more attractive, no matter how many times you listen to it. Of course we're told that, you know, it's only a question of getting accustomed to its particular unique sound world and all that, and the more attention you give to it, the more rewarding it will be. Wrong, it's never more rewarding, it never sounds better. He was just a difficult truculant kind of guy, and he wrote difficult truculant music. Even his tonal music is hard to listen to. It's just difficult, period. Accept it, live with it, and love it, or don't.

6. Schumann's orchestration is really bad, and needs improvement. Once in a while a conductor will show up who says: "Well, you know I'm playing the original orchestration, it's better than everybody thought". No, it's not. It's thick, it's muddy, it doesn't do the music justice, and everybody tinkers with it. Even people who don't physically rescore it mess with the balances or whatever, just to make it listenable. Otherwise it's simply impossible.

7. Bruckner couldn't write a symphonic allegro to save his life. I mean, he calls some movements allegro, but who is he kidding. Even his early school symphony (you know, the one we call [Symphony No.] 00) has a first movement that's Allegro molto vivace. I mean, who is he kidding? It's not allegro, it's not molto, it's not vivace, it's all just slow. It's the way the man was, and we have to accept it as it is.

8. Liszt is trash. Enough said.

9. The so-called "happy ending" of Shostakovich's Fifth is actually perfectly sincere. Now, recent scholarship has revealed that this happy ending with the trumpets going nuts, and cymbals and timpani pounding away, crashing and bashing, is supposed to be a hidden signal for the misery and suffering of the Russian people. So while the music itself is going nuts with joy, we're supposed to be secretly sympathizing with their unhappiness and with the composer's personal misery. Well, I don't know. Freud said sometimes a happy ending is just a happy ending. And you know, it's okay to be happy. Finally:

10. It's a good thing that only about 200 Bach cantatas survive. I mean really, folks, have you listened to all 200 of them? Do you just like come home from work and say, "Heck! I really need to hear a 25-minute Lutheran penitential cantata about suffering and misery"? I mean, how many of them can we stand? Supposedly about a third of them are missing, I mean more than a hundred of them. And if you're really really that concerned about it, if you really think it's a loss to humanity, I have a suggestion of where you might want to look for them. You see, when Bach died his estate got divided up between his wife and kids, and the oldest one Wilhelm Friedemann (who was supposedly a drunk organist or something like that) had a daughter. And his daughter got married to a business man, and sometime around the 1760s or so (or '70s, I don't know somewhere around then) they moved to Oklahoma. So, if you happen to have nothing to do, and you're really desperate for a new Bach cantata, start looking in barns at Oklahoma, because they started a farm there, and so somewhere, maybe, you know, near Oklahoma City or somewhere out there in the Texas Panhandle, you may find a hundred or so Bach cantatas!

And with that, let me just suggest that you should use your own judgement, listen fearlessly, judge mercilessly, enjoy what you want, love what you love and don't worry about the rest.

Well, now it's my time to respond (wow, it was difficult copying all of that).

1. I have to admit that I'm not so hot on Mozart. I get the feeling that I must worship him because he was a colossal genius, in a sense he's an encylopedia figure (and it's weird that I don't feel the same way about Bach, Beethoven or Haydn who are usually considered as encylopedic figures, and Mr. Hurwitz has himself admitted that although he respects Bach, he doesn't like a lot of his music specifically for this reason). However, I do think that there's a very noticeable difference between Mozart's 1st symphony and his 40th (I haven't heard the Jupiter, so the analogy is not perfect, but at least I'm honest about it). Besides, I personally do not really like Toscanini, but even without that, just because Toscanini said something doesn't mean it needs to apply to everything and everyone.

2. Well, Beethoven's Grosse Fuge is an acquired taste. I mean yes, it's difficult, it's hard to get through, it's angry, and it might even be "ugly", but that's because Beethoven wanted to be ugly. If you don't like it, just go and leave.

3. This one touches a sick nerve because I am a Wagnerian. Yes, some people are crazy in order to go and be in the theater for 6 hours for a Wagner opera. I do get that sometimes it's difficult to be attentive throughout such a long performance (especially if it's a bad one), but Wagner knew what he was doing when he was composing such long operas (and mind you, I don't always agree with his megalomaniac ideas). It is Wagner's right to have Meistersinger run for 5 hours, just as it is Puccini's right to have La Bohème run for 2 hours. Once again, if you don't want to be in an opera house for 6 hours, don't go. But don't tell me that everything is better when it's short.

4. Once again, this one also touches a sick nerve as I'm a deep fan Berlioz's Symphonie fantastique. I should remark that aside from its programmatic function, I don't get the fourth movement, but I would be the first to admit that the finale is the X-Factor of the symphony. That said however, there is a place for the first 3 movements. If they're preludial, they're supposed to be so! And they're much more than a prelude! The first movement has lots of moments of teenage anxiety, depression and hallucination and one of the criteria for a good performance would be for me how much it gets the madness and extremness in this movement. In short, how "teenagery" it is. The second movement also seems to be just nice, and not having any service apart from its programmatic function, but it's sometimes good not to be going full tilt in the epicness department. Likewise, the third movement is also there for the need of what William Berger called (in a different context) "the lowering of the collective blood-pressure". And yet despite what might seem from a movement titled Scene in the Countryside, this movement actually has some manic terrifying moments. Once again, if you don't like the first 3 movements, just listen to the last 2, but again, Berlioz knew what he was doing in adding these first 3 movements.

5. Like the Grosse Fuge, Schoenberg's music is also an acquired taste. I disagree with Mr. Hurwitz's opinion that "it never gets more attractive", but I also disagree with those who say that "the more attention you give to it, the more it will reward you". Circumstances vary with every single person from one millisecond to the next. I am a Schoenberg fan, but I don't persuade people to join the Schoenberg fan club (but that's because I'm not a kind of a persudaing guy). And I'm not alone in that. Alexander Goehr, who is likewise a deep Schoenberg fan, seems to agree with me on this point (that is, I agree with him):

I don't think it is likely that it is possible to convince people who find the music [of Schoenberg] extremely difficult, that hidden beneath the surface is a heart of gold, and it's really all like Puccini if you only knew how to listen to it. It isn't like that. This was a fractious and difficult personality, with a striking and fast mind, and a feeling of responsibility towards music, musicians, students, all through his life.

Once again, if you don't like it, don't listen to it, just go and leave.

6. I haven't listened to Schumann's music so I can't say whether his orchestration is bad or not. However, I can say that people don't tinker only with Schumann's dynamics, and for some reason they get criticized for that in a way which would not happen if they would do the same to Schumann. So in a sense, having a conductor tinkering with Schumann's dynamics should not be something all that special, so stop making so much of a deal out of it.

7. Likewise, I haven't listened to much Bruckner, but I would agree that if it is indeed slow, that is the way Bruckner was and we can't do anything about it. Maybe what for him was fast, is slow for Mr. Hurwitz. And not only is the perception of tempo different from one person to another, it's different within the same person from one millisecond to the next.

8. Ok, I'm barely handling myself together when I'm writing this, and things are especially confusing when Mr. Hurwitz doesn't dare detail. If you think that Liszt is only virtuoso opera transcriptions, the Transcendental Etudes and the Hungarian Rhapsodies, you are damn wrong! Just look at his symphonic poems, and the Faust and Dante Symphonies and you'll see he was much more than just a flashy romantic pyrotechnic of the piano. You still think this is kitschy and wearing on the sleeve? Ok, fine. How about the late piano pieces?! I just keep going mad when I see how many people don't know, let alone appreciate Liszt's late works (which I'm not even going to write a blog post on, because it speaks by itself. Here's a playlist.) These pieces tell you, more even than Tristan, the Ring and Parsifal, how Debussy and early Schoenberg came into being. If you're not convinced by that, I really have no other idea to dissuade you from believing that "Liszt is trash".

9. I have to say before I begin the discussion of Mr. Hurwitz's argument, that trying to figure out the meaning of Shostakovich's music is just pure mayhem, for reasons I hope I don't need to tell you. That being said, we are really actually told that the conflict between musicologists is whether he composed the Fifth Symphony in order to save his skin, or is the music braced with sarcasm. As I understand, there is no reason why the ending should be understood as "sincerely happy" when one goes deeper. Once again, what Freud says doesn't necessarily apply to every situation. So yes, I wouldn't necessarily go as far as to say that we're supposed to be thinking of misery, but we should think of hypocrisy.

10. Once again, I have barely listened to Bach cantatas, but just from looking at the titles, I'm pretty sure that not all of those cantatas are about "suffering and misery" (small unimportant sidenote: You really needed to use the same two words you just used for Shostakovich?). I don't know how much this is likely, but go figure that the hundred or so lost cantatas happen to be the best cantatas Bach ever wrote, and what we've known till now is, forgive the expression, the rotten bottom of the barrel? But trying to go around Oklahoma farms to find them is almost hopeless, for a number of reasons. Most likely, the manuscripts could have been deemed worthless, so they were used for other purposes. The farm could have been destroyed or dismantled or whatever. So maybe we're lucky that some Bach cantatas are missing, maybe not, I have no idea what to say about this.

I saved the most important issue for the end. I have no problem with all the opinions that Mr. Hurwitz has expressed - as long as he was meaning only to express his own opinion. I obviously disagree with him, but I have no serious problem with Mr. Hurwitz suggesting that Wagner's operas are better when cut, that Mozart sounds all the same, and (though with some difficulty, if only because Liszt is widely misunderstood) that Liszt is trash. The problem I have is with him saying that these are the "official dirtiest-secret facts of the classical music industry". And once again, if he's joking, he should make that clearer.

P.S. As I was writing this, I discovered that it's apparently also available online as an editorial, so if you want to make me suffer twice, you can do that.

(Originally posted: 9 August 2020)

#david hurwitz #classicstoday #mozart #arturo toscanini #beethoven #wagner #berlioz #symphonie fantastique #arnold schoenberg #schumann #anton bruckner #franz liszt #shostakovich 5 #johann sebastian bach #cantata #alexander goehr #dmitri shostakovich

2 notes · View notes

runswith · 5 years

Text

Travel diary: Pamplona. Entry 8 – March 26, 2002

With Curtis having done el Camino de Santiago so many times, he’s fairly knowledgeable about it -- extremely, even excessively knowledgeable compared to someone like me.

As we stood in Sunday morning sunshine, Curtis talking about el Camino, two people hiking the trail toiled up the grade in our direction. Across the small road, off in the other direction, the land spilled down and away. Nesting birds appeared from hillside bushes, making short, swift flights to nearby points, producing sharp bursts of song. Though the sun shone strong and warm, a cool breeze blew -- Curtis had encouraged me to leave my jacket in the car, I found myself glad I had it on and pulled it tightly around me as I peered off across the countryside.

Back in the car, we drove further west of Pamplona. Several miles along, Javier hung a left and sped down another two-lane, flanked by fields and the occasional spread of vineyard, until we approached a turnoff for a small church that sat amid acres of fields, la iglesia de Santa Maria de Eunate. Javier turned in, guiding the car to a small parking area, pulling in by a pair of porta-potties, them looking a bit out of context there in the middle of nowhere but logical considering the number of visitors the place received.

The church: a lovely stone structure, small in diameter with a high domed roof that gives it a sense of great space. Built in the second half of the twelfth century, appearing at once austere and complex in structure. The small windows had no glass, no surprise given where and when the church was constructed -- instead, they’re covered with slabs of marble cut thinly enough that light passes through. The church is surrounded by a portico, nearby sits another building constructed of stone, a refuge for hikers making the pilgrimage, where they can find a shower, get some sleep.

On our arrival, the only other people about were three young women who seemed to carefully avoid us. As we walked back to the car, other vehicles pulled in, discharging people, changing the atmosphere drastically with noise and motion. I was glad we were leaving.

Javier drove back out to the original two-lane, heading further west to the town of Puente la Reina, a pueblo with at least three churches -- all Catholic, natch. I was taken into two, both several centuries old -- one austere, the other extravagantly elaborate -- both on a long street that ran from the east end of town to the river at the town’s west side and the bridge that gives the town its name. Built in, I think, the 15th century. Old, beautiful, nice to walk across, providing nice views of the old town on one side, green hills and flowering almond trees on the other.

The morning sunlight had strengthened, the temperature edged upward to jacket-divesting levels as the day tilted toward noon. We walked back toward the car along a different street -- wider, relatively busy -- passing the third church as we left the river behind, I mulled over how it felt to be among so much Catholicism, past and present, from the perspective of having grown up in it and ditched it the day I turned 18.

From there we traveled west to a stretch of el Camino that ran along the course of an old Roman road, cobbled and crossing an original Roman bridge, out in the middle of countryside, in a ravine off the two-lane where trees were showing green and birds called. As I moved ahead of Curtis and Javier, two hikers passed -- young women, both sporting huge packs, one of which had two or three pieces of washed clothing spread across it to dry in the sun as they walked. Curtis began chatting with them, when I returned from enjoying the near-total quiet off across the bridge it turned out they were college-age American women -- one from Tennessee, one from Illinois -- doing the pilgrimage and experiencing the contrast between what they’d imagined when they dreamed about it and the rigorous, sometimes disheartening reality of traversing mountainous, rural terrain with a full pack. Curtis gave them encouragement, some tips on stops they’d be making in the coming days, and they headed off.

Next: the town of Estella, the day’s final stop. A medieval pueblo, with old, narrow streets, large plazas, and a pretty, shallow river that wends through the heart of the town. Javier parked the car, we made our way up a long series of stairs to yet another church perched in the, by then, early afternoon sunlight. We passed through to the cloister, a sizable area of flowers, grass, flowers and a tree or two, sheltered by walls, surrounded and bisected by walkways. Quiet, with lots of old stonework. I would have been happy to remain there a while, as lack of sleep was becoming an increasingly major factor in my day. Curtis had also been up late -- later than me, I think, having far more fun -- also looked to be at less than optimum. Javier was fine, and when I got too quiet he made a point of chatting me up, explaining things or asking about my experience in Spain. Between that and the fact that he had volunteered to do the driving for the day, he went far beyond what would be expected of someone who had never met me before. An extremely considerate person with a generous, gentlemanly nature.

A mass had begun while we were outside, we couldn’t pass back through the church and so took a different stairway down to the street -- old, narrow, with vistas of sky and neighborhoods. We found our way to the center of the town, crowds of chatting, well-dressed locals milling in and out of restaurants/tabernas. We made our way into one, found a space at the bar, got something to drink, then went somewhere else to eat, a place off another narrow, quiet street. A long meal, punctuated by stretches of silence between which Curtis and Javier conversed, Javier now and then addressing some conversation in my direction, which I did my best to engage with. Afterward, we found our way through more narrow streets toward an old medieval footbridge we’d spotted earlier. The street that led us there -- old and, of course, narrow -- only permitted resident traffic, and at the end of a block that fed out onto a larger busier street, passage was blocked by a thick, squat metal column, maybe two feet high, planted in the pavement directly in the middle of the street. A car approached from the outside road, stopping by a box at the roadside where the driver produced a card and swiped it through a slot. A pause, then the column slowly sank into the pavement so the car could pass, after which it reappeared, regaining full height. Freudian traffic control.

We made our way across the bridge, trees and large sprawling expanses of bushes on either side of the river a bright, vibrant green in the early spring sun. Willow trees rose three or four stories into the air, trailing long branches thick with new leaves. Javier and Curtis had yet another ancient church or two in their sights, we made our way toward them though not into them (for which I gave silent thanks), settling down instead on some stone structures by the river to flop and get some sun. It was late afternoon by then, the town had the feel of a place slowly dealing with the coming reality of returning to the workweek. Couples were out, two groups of people came together not far from us, talking, then headed off in the opposite direction from which we’d come and disappeared. We eventually pulled ourselves together and returned to the car, walking along a stretch of el Camino which included an old, well-kept building that functioned as the town’s sanctuary for pilgrims.

As we neared the car, the snug street opened out into a small plaza that fronted a park and two old buildings, one of which apparently housed the local equivalent of a circuit court. Paint had been hurled against the door and the facade of the building, leaving splashes of red, yellow and green, the colors of the crest of Euskadi, the Basque Country. As we stepped out into the plaza, I glanced into the windows of the other building we passed, into a room filled with old, old furniture, including what appeared to be an ancient canopy bed, draped with mosquito netting.

At that moment, we became aware of a car coming in reverse along the narrow street that faced us, coming fast, the gearbox whining loudly, the rear end jerking back and forth as it approached, tires squealing. It skidded into the plaza where the driver hit the brakes, spraying gravel before changing gears then gunning his way through a loud, aggressive three-point turn, almost hitting me at one point, the afternoon air suddenly thick with the odor of testosterone. The driver: a truculent, macho 20-something whose behavior had Curtis hooting and mocking him in English. My last image of Estella.

An hour and a half later I found myself gazing out a window of an Iberia airliner. My final view of Pamplona, from a plane angling up away from the ground: a line of wind turbines ranged along a ridge of hills to the north of the airport, extending off toward the Pyrenees and the border with France, white rotor blades turning lazily in afternoon sunlight.

14 notes · View notes

roguelioness · 6 years

Text

Fictober

In an attempt to start writing again (without putting pressure on myself) I gave myself a list of prompts to fill out in October.

Rules:

1. Fill out as many drabbles as you’re able to, there’s no need to do all of them.

2. Drabbles are meant to be short! Between 100-500 words, there’s no need to go into longfic territory.

3. Use the word of the day as a guideline or a theme, there’s no need to include them in your work.

Onto the words!

1. Argute - shrewd

2. Canorous - melodious or resonant

3. Concinnity - elegance or neatness of a literary or artistic style

4. Deracinate - to tear something up by the roots

5. Eucatastrophe - a happy ending to a story

6. Ensorcell - to enchant or fascinate someone

7. Fugacious - transient or fleeting

8. Fuscous - dark and somber in color

9. Goluptious - delightful; luscious

10. Hesychastic - keeping silence; soothing or quieting

11. Inspissate - to thicken or congeal

12. Jocoserious - half in jest, half serious

13. Kenspeckle - easily recognizable or distinguishable

14. Laniary - of teeth or claws designed for tearing (especially canine teeth)

15. Lippitude - soreness of the eyes

16. Minatory - threatening

17. Mnemonist - one from whose memory nothing is erased

18. Nubilate - to obscure

19. Otiose - serving no practical purpose

20. Phthartic - deadly; destructive

21. Quixotic - not sensible about practical matters

22. Recalcitrant - stubbornly resistant to authority or control

23. Rubescent - reddening; blushing

24. Sapiential - relating to wisdom; providing wisdom

25. Stultify - deprive of strength or efficiency; make useless or worthless

26. Trousseau - clothes, linen, and other belongings collected by a bride for her marriage

27. Truculent - defiantly aggressive

28. Unctuous - (of a person) excessively or ingratiatingly flattering

29. Vaticinate - foretell the future

30. Welter - to be in a state of turmoil or chaos

31. Zetetic - proceeding by inquiry

#fictober #self-challenge #a drabble a day #word list #writing prompts

148 notes · View notes

writer59january13 · 2 years

Text

Courtesy Google, I learned Dynata...mite!

Constitutes the world’s largest

first-party data platform

for insights, activation and measurement

Earlier today August 28th, 2022,

a representative from aforementioned

market research company

fielded political questions to yours truly.

The young lady at other end of telephone

(little baby crying accompanied the background)

peppered me with salty queries; I replied with personal feedback.

Such inquiries got me thinking

about countdown to 2022 midterm elections...

from August 28th, 2022 at 4:59 PM

Above identified important date

when voters go to polls

10 weeks, 1 day, 8 hours away.

Nast T. contrived Pachyderm(s)

spar against Equus asinus,

the former issuing trumpeting sounds

emulating courtesy jabbing a loose tusk

“The Art of the Deal” hip hip hooray

truckling tutored toadying troopers

signaling viz unfurling trunk hated votes

will finagle, snaggle, wrangle...

hook and crook to get their way

Don auld (hold) hate inside,

nor unroll your red carpet, cuz... January 20th, 2025 trumpets, return of the native (hardy) son

with pen sieve (my cull) word play,

when truculence becomes fashionable again yay!

Tipping the scales and approximately weigh

ying two hundred and fifty pounds

courtesy chowing down McDonald's

fish delight specially cooked up today

er... rather bare'n his teeth on Sunday,

when said Golden Arches patron

hungrily wolfs down favorite meal,

a valuable selling point

fast food giant could portray.

In truth, yours truly a liberal Democrat

with humorous zing

double entendres ahead

look out when cross xing

into pun one mock two zone,

I gently ply hitting

left field homers courtesy upswing titillating madding crowd

generating suspense pulse quickening

political kibitizing more left-wing

versus common joe

biden his time crafting moderate

reasonable rhyme fulfilling

personal literary quest.

Two plus months hence...

government of the people,

by the people,

for the people,

will perish from the earth

unless voters choose wisely

when the 2022 United States elections

held on Tuesday, November 8, 2022.

During upcoming midterm election year,

all 435 seats in the House of Representatives

and 35 of the 100 seats in the Senate

36 gubernatorial seats

27 secretary of state seats

and 30 attorney general seats

will be contested. ...

other statewide elected offices include

lieutenant governor, auditor,

controller and/or treasurer and more.

This will be the first election affected

by redistricting that followed 2020 census.

All kidding aside yours truly

would sooner groom Frankenstein's bride

to occupy Oval Office versus

tawdry, raunchy, randy, and paunchy narcissist

otherwise referencing forty fifth president

of United States a bonafide and certified

threat to democracy, a sore loser who decried

outcome of two thousand twenty election

razor thin winning margin courtesy blue party

electoral college elucidation edified

although squabble ensued electorate fortified,

nevertheless elephant in the room glorified

present day divisiveness

impossible mission to hide.

0 notes

francesbeau · 3 years

Text

Othello - Quote Analysis - William Shakespeare

Started: 30th of April 2021 Finished: 30th of April 2021

Act One Scene One:

- Iago talking about Cassio: “great arithmetician/mere prattle without prance” Targets Cassio’s lack of experience

- Iago talking about Cassio: “A Florentine never damned in a fair wife” Mentions outsider status to disconnect him from the dynamism of Venetian life. Depicts Cassio as a bachelor to create more realism, goes against Cinthios original play.

- Iago: “We cannot all be masters, nor all masters truly be followed” A corruption of the master/servant relationship. Draws upon the tricky servant trope (servus callidus) King James had just been appointed to so this was very topical.

- Iago: “I am not what I am”, teasingly obscure and creates the question of who really is Iago? Also makes an allusion to 12th night where Viola says “I am not what I am” This showcases how vows about dissemblance can have benign intention.

- Iago to Brabantio: “look at your house, your daughter and your bags!” asyndetic listing highlights women as secondary importance.

- “An old black ram is tuping your white ewe” explicate reference to miscegenation. women as an extension of property. Subdued pun to make Brabantio the victim of violation. This sexually suggestive language is because black rams are associated with lust and sexual potency and its horns imply its the reincarnation of the devil.

- “You’ll have your nephews neigh to you, coursers for cousins, and jennets for germans” Paronomasia is where words nearly sound alike, similar to eye rhyme. Cluster of racial attacks.

- Brabantio: “thou art a villain” - Iago: “you are a senator”. Dissonance of identity, highlights corrupt higher structures.

- Roderigo: “tying her beauty, duty and wit in an extravagant and wheeling stranger”

- Iago: “However, this may gall him with some check” - Subdued equestrian metaphor of a horse being pulled back by reins.

Act One Scene Two:

- Iago: “By Janus” Appropriate God to evoke as it is the twofaced God.

- Othello: “Keep up your bright swords” Where Christ, betrayed by Judas, is arrested he order Peter to “put up thy sword into thy sheath”

Act One Scene Three:

- Duke: “Valliant Othello” first person to use his name and its the most important man in all of Venice.

- Othello: “Rude I am in speech, and little blessed in the soft phrase of peace” Actually highly articulated. Spezzatura - ‘certain nonchalance, so as to conceal and make whatever one does or says appear to be without effort’

- Othello: “I won his daughter” - Links to patriarchal norms, Romeo and Juliet there is challenge for Paris to win and “woo” Juliet.

- Othello: “The anthropophagi and men...” The allusion to the race of the cannibals in the Odyssey called Laestryganes who tried to eat Odysseus.

- Othello: “she wished heaven had made her such a man” Kind of fickle and would love any man with same fantastical tales.

- Desdemona: “divided duty” / “I saw Othello’s visage in my mind” Blackness of face is merely a deceptive outward show and his true countenance lies in the mind.

Othello: “Nor to comply with the heat of young affects” - He is confining his sexual passion due to his stereotypes and has a lack of matched enthusiasm. Separates himself from sexual desire. Could be guilty repression. Freud: Sexual instincts are allied to emotional condition of fear”

- Duke: “your son-in-law is far more fair than black”

- Iago: “our bodies are gardens to the which our wills are gardeners” - whole soliloquy goes on to examine to argument that if we didn’t have rational minds to counterbalance our emotions our desires would take over.

- Iago: “these Moors are changeable in their ways” / “Moor is of free and open nature”

- Iago: “when she is sated with his body she will find the errors of her choices” Sexual reference

- Iago: “womb of time.”

- Iago: “twixt my sheet/ done my office” anxiety within marriage links to 2.3 when he calls Othello the “lusty moor” who leapt into his “seat”

- Iago: “Cassio’s a proper man” Acknowledges adversaries advantages.

Act Two Scene One

- “What from the cape can you discern at sea?” Begins in storm which is symbolic of passions of Cyprus. Starts with the limitations of light and foreshadows metaphorical blindness.

- “Our great captains, captain”

- Othello: “oh my souls joy if after every tempest come such calms” / “If i were to die twere now the to e the most happy, for I fear my soul hath her content to absolute” Last time Othello is truly happy

- Desdemona: “Our loves and comforts should increase even as our days grow”

Act Two Scene Three

- Othello: “Are we turned Turks?/For Christian shame” Evokes intermittent conflict between European powers and the Ottoman Empire

- Othello to Cassio: “what's the matter, that you unlace your reputation thus.”

- Iago: “I’ll pour this pestilence into his ear” Link to Hamlet where the King was poisoned by it being poured into his ear

Act Three Scene Three

- Iago: “Ha, I like not that.” / “Nothing My Lord, or if, I know not what”. Plants seeds of suspicion with mysterious interjection

- Othello: “Excellent wretch, perdition catch my soul. But i do love thee, and when i love thee not chaos comes again” Oxymoran - doesn't have a grip on emotions. breakdown of cosmos and order as chaos is the undoing of the gods.

- Iago: “Honest My Lord?” Othello: “Honest? Ay, Honest.” Anadiplosis is the repetition of the last line of previous conversation

- Iago: “My lord you know I Love thee” - John 21;15 “Lord thou knowest I love thee”

- “Beware my Lord of Jealousy! It is the green-eyed monster that doth mock the meat it feeds upon”

- Othello: “Haply for I am black and have not these soft parts of conversation” - Endemic to Venetian culture are attitudes that Othello cant inculcate. In the shape of Iago the venomous rage of society that are rocked by the elopement play out.

- “She s gone, I am abused and my relief must be to loathe her”

- “I had rather be a toad and live upon the vapor of a dungeon than to keep a corner in the thing i love” - This metaphor places emphasis on the embarrassment of cuckoldry. The animalistic imagery is interesting as toads are insignificant and gross which highlight how he feels. Women is the aggressor.

- “I think my wife be honest, and think she is not”

- Iago about a fake dream from Cassio, “I heard him say, ‘Sweet Desdemona let us be wary and hide our love”

- Iago to Othello: “I am your own forever” language of service, however Iago hints at mephisteplion bargain by which Iago has ensnared his soul.

Act Three Scene Four

- “There is magic in the web of it”, assumes bizarre shape of perverted trail

Act Four Scene One

- Iago: “to kiss in private” aggressively plants seeds of images of animated sexual congress

- Othello about himself: “A horned man’s a monster and a beast” Sign of cuckoldry

- Othello: “My heart has turned to stone” / ‘He Beats his chest’ / “sweeter creature” (like Cassio’s dream)

- “I’ll chop her into messes” Truculent

“Each drop she falls would prove a crocodile” - complex conceit, crocodiles generated spontaneously and a proverbial hypocrisy. Plutarch suggests that crocodiles wept when devouring their victims. Crocodile pretends to be in distress to lure victims in.

Act Four Scene Two

- Othello about Emilia - “a lock and key of villainous secrets”

- Desdemona: “I understand a fury in your words, bot not the words.”

- Emilia: “she forsook so many noble matches” - links ti act one scene two: she shunned the wealthy curled darlings of our nation

Act Four Scene Three

- The whole song of willow, link to Hamlet as Ophelia fell from a willow tree and drowned after finding out her husband did not love her.

- Emilia: “if wives do fall” - Post-lapsyrian, eve’s fall from grace.

- “The ills we do, their ills instruct us so” inverts traditional male leadership role.

Act Five Scene One

- ‘Iago wounds Cassio in the leg from behind and exit’ - constant scene controlment. Displays talent for improvisation.

Act Five Scene Two

- Othello: ‘Think on thy sins’ Desdemona: ‘They are the loves I bear to you’ could be a reference to race but more so an allusion to the sin of living a human more than god.

- Othello: “A murder which I thought a sacrifice” Zenith of insanity.

- “The sun and the moon and that affrighted globe” Christs crucifixion similar events. Globe theater in terror.

- “It is the very error of the moon” - Power of the moon can induce madness

- “Base Indian who threw away a pearl” - Matthew 8 Merchant who looses everything trying to obtain a pearl.

- “Malignant and a turband turk” - symbolically annihilating both Iago and himself. Whole speech is about the salvation of a soul peppered with semantics of Orientalism.

- Lodovico: “this heavy heart with heavy heart relate” Rhyming is emblematic of balance that civilized Venetians are saturated with

#othello #shakespeare #literature #jacobean

1 note · View note

radama-zard · 2 years

Text

Dungeons & Drabbles - 2022 Master Post

With the month done and dusted, I am done with DrabbleWRIMO for 2022~

Here’s a master post with all 30 ficlets, for ease of finding and reading (or you could read it all on my AO3 - here)

Day 1 - Abolish (Bells Hells Modern AU)

Day 2 - Tempt (Fearne x Fresh Cut Grass)

Day 3 - Slime (Laudna & Fresh Cut Grass)

Day 4 - Monopoly (Bells Hells / Crown Keepers Modern Human AU)

Day 5 - Fabricate (Fresh Cut Grass - Hurt/Comfort)

Day 6 - Entropy (Krook House Queer Platonic Polycule - Modern Human AU)

Day 7 - Field (One sided Fresh Cut Grass x Imogen + FCG Angst)

Day 8 - Truculent (Ashton x Fresh Cut Grass)

Day 9 - Radical (Fresh Cut Grass Thought Piece)

Day 10 - Pride (Krook House Queer Platonic Polycule - Modern Human AU)

Day 11 - Bounty (Fresh Cut Grass & Chetney)

Day 12 - Marigold (Orym x Fresh Cut Grass)

Day 13 - Reckless (Fresh Cut Grass x Chetney)

Day 14 - Conceive (Fresh Cut Grass & Imogen)

Day 15 - Fetching (Fresh Cut Grass x Imogen)

Day 16 - Unreliable (Fresh Cut Grass Angst)

Day 17 - Weakness (Fresh Cut Grass & Laudna)

Day 18 - Lucent (Fresh Cut Grass x Laudna)

Day 19 - Indifference (Fresh Cut Grass & Marwa)

Day 20 - Blast (Fresh Cut Grass - and a blown up, but still alive, Bells Hells)

Day 21 - Captain (Fresh Cut Grass & Captain Xandis)

Day 22 - Feign (Fresh Cut Grass & Anni (Krook House Queer Platonic Polycule - Modern Human AU)

Day 23 - Ether (Fresh Cut Grass & Milo (Krook House Queer Platonic Polycule - Modern Human AU)

Day 24 - Mellifluous (Fresh Cut Grass x Anni Aughta (Modern Human AU)

Day 25 - Square (Fresh Cut Grass x Imahara Joe)

Day 26 - Impulse (Ashton & Fresh Cut Grass (Modern Human AU)

Day 27 - Mold (Fresh Cut Grass x Imahara Joe (Modern Human AU)

Day 28 - Vanilla (Fresh Cut Grass x Marwa (Modern Human AU)

Day 29 - Burial (Fresh Cut Grass & Ashton - The Scene Where They Meet)

Day 30 - Acorn (Fresh Cut Grass & Fearne)

#dungeons & drabbles #drabbleWRIMO #Critical Role #FCG #CR FCG #Fresh Cut Grass #Masterlist #Dungeons & Drabbles 2022

10 notes · View notes

wazafam · 4 years

Link

Part of the reason why Derry Girls has become such a rollicking hit is because of its colorful cast of oddball characters, all of whom get into hysterical situations at one time or another. Since the series takes place in Northern Ireland during the end of The Troubles in the '90s, it's an environment ripe for chaos and instability, as well as lasting bonds of friendship.

RELATED: 10 Of IMDb's Best Derry Girls Episodes

Everyone living in Derry is on edge, and between the armored checkpoints and bomb scares, Erin Quinn and her friends have enough to worry about just trying to survive adolescence and high school. As altruistic as she is, Erin's capable of quite a bit of mischief, just like her band of friends, and even her eccentric family.

10 Erin: The Toto Hoax

After Erin believed she'd lost her family dog for good, she spied what she thought to be Toto running free in the streets of Derry. She followed the scrappy terrier into a chapel where, while she was searching among the pews for Toto, the rest of the girls perceived the statue of Mary to weep.

RELATED: Derry Girls: The Main Characters, Ranked By Likability

In reality, Toto was taking a wee on the level above, a tributary of which passed through the floorboards and down the statue's face. While the rest of the girls thought the "miracle" was enough to get them out of their exams, Erin believed it would help her earn the affections of handsome Father Pete, and she kept the scam running to its horrendous, hilarious conclusion.

9 Michelle: Almost Burned Down The Chip Shop

When the girls were trying to come up with ways to earn their passage to Paris on a school trip, the nefarious Michelle had the brilliant idea of stealing the job board from the local chip shop. Despite thinking they'd have a monopoly on all the best jobs, Michelle was made before they were even able to begin working anywhere.

The girls had to clean up the chip shop for free as punishment, and if that wasn't enough, Michelle decided to raid Fionnula's liquor cabinet. She poured several shots for the girls and set them on fire for a bit of excitement, and as if that wasn't enough, she dropped them on the carpet and nearly set Fionnula's apartment and the chip shop below ablaze.

8 Clare: Cracked At The Pressure

At the very start of the series Clare made it known that despite the affinity with her friends, she'd crack at the slightest amount of pressure put on her by figures of authority. Clare had made a huge display of solidarity only moments before going into Sister Michael's office, but despite her vow that the girls needed to all accept the consequences together (regardless of Michelle's actions), she proved she had no loyalty.

Sister Michael didn't even have to apply any squeeze to the girls for Clare to expose Michelle, immediately naming her as the ringleader of the incident despite the fact that she had told all of them they should convey a united front. Clare's inability to back her friends was not only cringey, it was disloyal.

7 James: Tried To Hide The Scones

Michelle decided to bring "funny scones" to Aunt Bridie's wake, but no sooner had she shown them to the gang than they were ripped out of her hands and taken in to be served to the guests. This required the girls (and James) to hunt down all the scones (including taking one right out of Sister Michael's hands) and destroy them.

RELATED: Derry Girls: 5 Meanest James Moments (& 5 Most Touching)

James had the brilliant idea of flushing them all down the toilet because he'd watched Goodfellas enough times to know that's what should be done with illegal contraband. Unfortunately, stuffing all the scones down one toilet made it back up and flood the bathroom entirely, causing water damage that even ended up affecting Aunt Bridie's exposed body.

6 Orla: Read Erin's Diary

While mostly being content to spend time in her own little world, Orla occasionally joined her family and friends outside the augmented, fantastical reality she'd built for herself and truly embraced her interests, whether it was step aerobics or reading Erin's diary.

Orla stole Erin's diary and not only read it aloud to the family and Erin's friends, but managed to get it confiscated so that it is read by sisters at Lady Immaculate as well. The worst part was Orla didn't even see it as an incredible breach of Erin's privacy.

5 Mary: Killed Aunt Bridie

Erin's mother Mary wasn't incapable of some mischief of her own (the Toto hoax was partially her fault after all, like mother like daughter), and nothing was more mischievous than Mary's venomous words to her own Aunt Bridie, which caused her to drop dead right in the middle of a wedding reception as though Ma Mary was some sort of witch.

For days afterward, Mary was convinced she was capable of making hexes, and even her own father acknowledged that the women in their family had the gift of the dark arts. Hex or no hex, Mary did try to prevent Bridie from being buried in her mother's earrings, which caused quite an upset with the rest of the family.

4 Aunt Sarah: Upstaged The Bride

Sarah is Erin's flashy aunt who seemed too self-involved to cause serious harm to anyone around her, including Orla, whom she left her own devices. Sarah's primary faux pas was upstaging the bride at a wedding the family attended by wearing a white gown, a white fur wrap, and a tiara.

RELATED: 10 Derry Girls Memes Only True Fans Will Understand

While all eyes were on her, Sarah clearly didn't mean any harm by her ensemble, she just didn't know how to dress in any way other than outrageous. Unfortunately, no one else saw it as an innocent mistake, and she had to field a barrage of disparaging comments all night.

3 Gerry: Made The Waitress Cry

Erin's father Gerry was nothing if not friendly, compassionate, and encouraging. Despite his best efforts, his family tried to rob him of his ebullience at every chance, especially Grandpa Joe, who viewed him as a complete failure of a husband and a father.

In an effort to prove he could stand up for himself when he needed to, he caused a scene at a diner that was incredibly out of character, and one that he immediately regretted. Here's hoping Da Gerry can continue to show his newfound backbone without becoming as ornery as Grandpa Joe.

2 Grandpa Joe: Constantly Made Fun Of Gerry

One particular instance can't stand out from the incessant barrage of insults Gerry has suffered at the tongue of Grandpa Joe. Joe always saw Gerry as an inappropriate match for his daughter, and he reminded him of the fact every day, even going so far as to question his parenting choices with Erin when he disagreed with them.

There was the sneaking suspicion that Grandpa Joe was warming up to Gerry in a truly heartwarming episode at the end of Season 2, but Joe would never admit it. Instead, he hid any fond feelings behind a truculent mood and scalding words.

1 Sister Michael: Kept The Holy Statue

Fans of the Derry girls themselves might have viewed Sister Michael as a dictatorial tyrant who's every action was an act of aggression against them. Sister Michael was just doing her job, in fact, and the girls often had it coming with their wild and errant ways.

The one act that Sister Michael committed by her own volition was inviting members of St. Benedict's school to Lady Immaculate to hand off the Child of Prague, the visiting holy statue, and then at the last minute keeping it for herself. Had she just passed it along as protocol dictated, it wouldn't have been ripe for destruction from Erin and her Derry gang.

NEXT: Derry Girls: 10 Funniest Quotes From Sister Michael

Derry Girls: The Worst Things The Main Characters Have Done from https://ift.tt/3q7qqjs

#Blogger

0 notes

goodqueenaly · 7 years

Text

House Words Wednesdays: House Farman

Welcome to House Words Wednesdays! Each week, I’ll take a House without known canon/semi-canon words and present what I think could make sense as that House’s motto. You’re free to suggest more as well; take a look at this link to see what has already been suggested, and shoot me an ask through Tumblr if you have another House you’d like to see.

House Farman of Faircastle is a noble House of the Westerlands, one of the principal Houses sworn to the Lannisters of the Rock. The Farmans enjoy supreme control over Fair Isle, an island off the coast of the Westerlands, and - quite unsurprisingly, given their position - have absolutely no love for the ironborn. Indeed, in ancient days the Farmans, as petty kings of Fair Isle, guarded the west coast of Westeros from invasion from the ironborn (and fought ironborn on their own shores as well; Gylbert Farman, of unknown history, incited a smallfolk uprising against ironborn occupation of Fair Isle). The Farmans eventually did submit to the Lannisters under King Tommen I (though to sweeten the deal, he married a Farman princess), but their fighting of the ironborn continued. Indeed, Fair Isle itself was the setting of one of the definitive battles of the Greyjoy Rebellion: Stannis Baratheon's total naval victory over the Iron Fleet under Victarion Greyjoy. The Farman sigil is likewise navally themed: three silver ships on a blue field with a border of crimson and gold (possibly added after the Farmans submitted to the Lannisters, whose House colors are, of course, crimson and gold).

When thinking about the Farman words, I started thinking about one of the most famous prophetic statements ever made (or supposedly made) by the legendary Oracle at Delphi. When the Persian king Xerxes attempted to invade Greece as his father Darius had done, the Greeks suffered several terrible early losses. The Athenians consulted the Oracle, who gave them only an apocalyptic warning of their own imminent destruction. With some nerve, the Athenians went back to the Oracle to attempt to receive a more comforting prophecy (a more eschatological re-shake of the Magic 8 Ball, so to speak): the words were not entirely encouraging, but the Pythoness did note the second time that a "wooden wall" would prove a veritable defense for the Athenians. Themistocles, who had advocated strengthening the navy, argued that these words meant that the Greeks should put their faith in the "wooden wall" that their ships could provide. Trusting Themistocles' proposal of a naval battle to cut off Persian transport and supply, the Greeks did indeed emerge victorious at the great battle of Salamis, and the Persian invasion was eventually reversed.

With that in mind, I made the Farman words No Other Wall. I imagine that the Farmans might, after saying these words, point to their banners, indicating that the ships depicted were the only wall Fair Isle would ever need in its own defense (sort of akin to Balon Greyjoy's proud boast at the start of the Greyjoy Rebellion, that "the sea shall be my moat"). Of course, looking at the Farman history, that trust in their "wooden wall" has proved as much disastrous as victorious for the masters of Faircastle. Submitting to King Tommen I's greater fleet, the Farmans found themselves stripped of their greatest strength, dependent on the Lannister fleet at Lannisport; indeed, the Farmans built their own navy "in defiance" during the reign of Lord Tytos, and it's possible the "truculent" Lord Farman who was swiftly reprimanded with a rendition of the "Rains of Castamere" (and probably sent his daughter Jeyne as a hostage to the Rock) tried to do the same. Consequently, wide-open Fair Isle has been sacked by ironborn at least twice that we know of - once by Dalton Greyjoy "the Red Kraken", who stole away Lord Farman's five daughters for salt wives, and once again by Dagon Greyjoy, who took away a hundred women and half the island's wealth. The Farman kings might have once proudly boasted of not needing another wall apart from their navy, but under the Lannisters, that boast has largely turned into a curse.

Let me know what you think of these naval words for the Farmans of Fair Isle. next week is the final Westerlands House in this small group, a proud House with Lannister connections and an unfortunate fate for its lord in the War of the Five Kings.

#asoiaf meta #house words #house words wednesdays #house farman

50 notes · View notes

aion-rsa · 4 years

Text

The Best TV Episodes of 2020

https://ift.tt/eA8V8J

Sometimes it feels like there’s not much of a distinction left between “television” and everything else. As major media conglomerates hold investor presentations in which they present their upcoming streaming wares as “multiple-hour movies,” how is a beleaguered television fanbase supposed to distinguish TV shows from the dreaded, amorphous concept of “content”?

By episodes, of course! Episodes are one of the last remaining hallmarks of what makes the entity known as television distinct. Though we largely watch all our entertainment on the same kinds of screens nowadays, it’s television that lays claim to distinct episodes and distinct seasons as part of their larger gestalt. The Best TV Shows of 2020 deserve our commendation (and they will receive it very soon), but so too these smaller stories and pieces within them. The Best TV Episodes of 2020 are just as important to our appreciation of the medium and its long-term health.

Gathered here are 25 of Den of Geek’s favorite episodes of television in 2020. Voted on by our contributors, and arranged in alphabetical order, these are the half-hours, hours, and more that inspired and thrilled us in this most challenging year.

Better Call Saul – “Bagman”

In a season packed with memorable moments and 5-star episodes, Better Call Saul’s “Bagman” takes the cake as season 5’s finest hour and one of the absolute best episodes of television of 2020. Directly recalling Breaking Bad’s season 2 highlight “Four Days Out,” returning director and Breaking Bad auteur Vince Gilligan pulls out his old playbook and pumps “Bagman” up with high-octane shootouts, tense face-to-face showdowns, and his penchant for dark comedy.

As notable as it is to restage and one-up “Four Days Out,” “Bagman” also finally bridges the gap between Jimmy McGill’s new “friend of the cartel” world and that of his straight and narrow girlfriend Kim’s, a moment Better Call Saul fans have been anticipating and dreading with equal measure. Seeing Kim interact with Lalo, perhaps the best villain yet in the Breaking Bad/BCS universe, is a trip. Between Lalo’s cackling over the news of the burnt down Los Pollos Hermanos, surprise at Kim being “Mrs. Goodman,” and his lack of concern for “la cucaracha,” Lalo is a pure delight, even when he’s being stomach-churningly awful.

A desert twist on The Sopranos’ “Pine Barrens,” “Bagman” is a thrilling, highly consequential installment that is as equally introspective as it is explosive. I tend to bristle at episodes that so clearly ape Breaking Bad’s style and rhythms, but with Vince Gilligan at the helm, “Bagman” is purely undeniable. This is the moment that the show’s separate storylines began collapsing in on each other and truly feels like the beginning of the end for Better Call Saul.

– Nick Harley

BoJack Horseman – “The View From Halfway Down”

BoJack Horseman was never going to actually kill off its titular horseman. Though the depressive former ‘90s sitcom actor had been courting death for much of the series with addictions to booze, pills, and self-loathing, the show was always destined to end with him giving things another shot – again and again and again. That’s the point. It never ends. You’re stuck with yourself, flaws and all, and you’ve just gotta keep trying. BoJack indeed gets his umpteenth chance to start over in the series elegiac series finale, “Nice While It Lasted.” Before that, however, the show’s penultimate episode gets to vividly imagine what the end would look like for BoJack Horseman, and it makes for one of the series’ best episodes ever.

“The View From Halfway Down” picks up with BoJack drunk and at the bottom of a pool, slowly drowning. Meanwhile his consciousness takes a trip to a gaudy mansion where he enjoys dinner and a show with all the dead people he knows. Sarah Lynn, Corduroy, Crackerjack, Herb Kazzaz, and Beatrice are all there to enjoy their last meals (a single lemon for Corduroy, hospital food for Beatrice, and a pile of pills for BoJack) and then have one final sendoff before entering the infinite. This is where BoJack’s father, Butterscotch (incognito as BoJack’s hero Secretariat) turns up and delivers one of the most startling, affecting poems in TV history: “The View From Halfway Down.”

Near-death experience episodes are not uncommon on television (none other than The Sopranos may have had the definitive version with season 6’s “Join the Club”) but “The View From Halfway Down” somehow injects life (or rather dripping sludge of black death) into the stale concept. This might not be the final episode of BoJack Horseman, but it’s likely to be the one most people remember. It’s a discomfiting exploration of ego death…and death-death.

– Alec Bojalad

The Boys – “What I Know”

The Boys season 2 had its ups and downs, and a couple of episodes early on felt very low on action, but in the end, Amazon’s ultraviolent hit series managed to build towards a sophomore season finale that was so goddamn satisfying it felt almost illegal.

In “What I Know”, Karl Urban’s Bill Butcher finally faces off against Homelander and escapes with his life, while paying a devastating price. Hughie finds a way to drag himself up from a pit of despair and start a real relationship with Starlight. Kimiko and Frenchie get closer by working through their trauma together. Mother’s Milk is reunited with his family. And Stormfront? Well, that Nazi bitch gets what she deserved.

In fact, “What I Know” wrapped up most of The Boys’ ongoing plotlines so tidily you’d be forgiven for thinking that the action-packed episode was a series finale, not a season finale. Of course, The Boys had one final twist in store, but even if “What I Know” had been the last we’d seen of the show, it would have been just about enough to keep any anguish at bay. TV writers should study “What I Know” for future reference, cuz that’s how you do a season finale.

– Kirsten Howard

Dark – “Life and Death”

Since Dark knew that it was ending in its third season, there were plenty of mind-blowing episodes leading to a very poignant finale, but one episode that stood out was episode 305, “Life and Death.” This was not an episode that directly explored the deeper time travel mythology of the show nor did it feature the characters that were normally center stage. Instead, it shocked us with two acts of brutality by minor characters.

One involved the discoveries of Katharina, the much maligned wife, daughter, and mother who conducted a solo journey through time in search of her husband, Ulrich. The violence between Katharina and her mother provides surprising insights despite its unexpectedness. Meanwhile, another brutal act in the apocalypse of 2020 sheds light on how young Elisabeth evolved into a hardened warrior of the future.

– Michael Ahr

Dave – “Hype Man”

FX’s Dave was a bit of an odd duck from the get-go. Developed by and starring real life rapper Dave “Lil Dicky” Burd, Dave sought to encapsulate the strange contradictions of its title character. Dave is a comedy rapper…but he’s also kind of sincere? Dave is probably kidding about his malformed penis and all the trauma it’s caused him…but he’s also not? Dave is Lil Dickey…but he’s really just Dave? It was a tall order for a novice storyteller to work through, even with the help of Curb Your Enthusiasm’s Jeff Shaffer as showrunner.

But roughly halfway through its 10 episode-run, Dave…and Dave figure themselves out and start to string together a series of truly quality episodes. The turn starts with “Hype Man,” the show’s fifth installment and perhaps its best. “Hype Man” follows Lil Dicky’s real life (and also fictional) friend GaTa. After Dave makes the decision to install GaTa as his hype man, viewers are entreated to bits of GaTa’s past where his untreated bipolar disorder leads to public disruptions and even a heartbreaking moment with his mother while tied to a hospital bed. In the present, GaTa can’t quite figure his new dosage of meds out and it leads to a decidedly less-than-hyped hype man.

That’s when GaTa reveals his diagnosis to his new friends. As the tears stream down GaTa’s face and as his new crew gracefully accepts him, just as he is, it’s clear that it’s a cathartic moment for all involved that goes well beyond just the confines of television.

– Alec Bojalad

Devs – “Episode 8”

Perhaps no show in 2020 was as beguiling or intriguing as sci-fi maestro Alex Garland’s first TV effort Devs. From its first episode which featured a mysterious murder and the introduction of an awe-inspiring machine, Devs promised a truculent sci-fi television experience. Of course, as is often the case with these things, the impact of the show hinged on how it chose to wrap up the story of Amaya’s secretive Devs program.

That ending, in “Episode 8”, succeeds because it knows the precisely correct ratio of answers to non-answers it needs to provide. This finale deftly articulates the show’s vision of determinism and leaves open the question of just how much of our fate resides in our own hands. It’s also downright Biblical at times with striking imagery, allusions to Christ, and even something resembling an afterlife.

Above all else, it provides one of the most charming bits of title trickery on television this year. “I’ll tell you a secret, Lily,” Forest (Nick Offerman) says to his fated counterpart. “I’ve been wanting to tell someone for awhile. The name of the project is not Devs. The ‘v’ is Roman…so actually a ‘u’.” Deus. Lily can only laugh – another tech CEO who thinks he’s God. It’s just that…this one happens to be right.

– Alec Bojalad

Doctor Who – “The Haunting of Villa Diodati”

“The Haunting of Villa Diodati” isn’t the only example of Doctor Who taking on the haunted house genre, but it may be its best. In this season 12 episode, the science fiction series pays homage to the arguable birthplace of the sci-fi genre: the Swiss villa where Mary Shelley was inspired to write Frankenstein. There, the Thirteenth Doctor (Jodie Whittaker) and her fam meet Mary, baby William, Lord Byron, John Polidori, Claire Clairmont, valet Fletcher, and a missing Percy Shelley. With such a large guest cast, you’d think it would be hard to get three Companions in on the action, but first-time Doctor Who scriptwriter Maxine Alderton manages to do so, making good use of Ryan (Tosin Cole), Graham (Bradley Walsh), and Yaz (Mandip Gillip) especially, as the group gets split up while investigating the very real ghosts that seem to be haunting the villa.

With its literary in-jokes and honest-to-goodness scares, “The Haunting of Villa Diodati” would have easily been one of the highlights of season 12 if it was simply a standalone mystery. That it all ends with a third-act Cybermen twist that ties the episode to Doctor Who legacy and kickstarts the high-stakes, season-ending plot raises this installment from “good” to “great.”

– Kayti Burt

The Good Place – “Whenever You’re Ready”

Between BoJack Horseman’s “The View From Halfway Down” and The Good Place’s series finale, “Whenever You’re Ready,” it was a banner year for half-hour comedies addressing cosmic oblivion in 2020. While BoJack’s exploration of death is dark and spooky, The Good Place’s interpretation is one almost of celebration – a reward for a life, and many afterlives well-lived.

However one feels about The Good Place series finale, it’s hard to argue that the concept at its core isn’t ingenious. Our human protagonists Eleanor, Chidi, Jason, and Tahani, alongside their otherworldly friends Michael and Janet, spend almost a literal eternity grappling with the inequity of the afterlife’s rewards system. Then, in the final stretch of the show’s last season, the gang fixes the system once and for all and arrives at the actual Good Place. There’s only one problem: the occupants of The Good Place are shambling emotionless zombies whose dopamine receptors have been reduced to mush from eons of wish fulfillment and immediate satisfaction. That’s when Eleanor and Michael realize the afterlife’s missing piece: death.

This is not only a fascinating philosophical concept but it sets up a finale filled with goodbyes that all these characters so richly deserve. One by one our heroes decide when they’re ready, and then step through a door to enter the unknown. And of course it all culminates in what might be the best sitcom sign-offs ever from Ted Danson’s Michael: “I’ll say this to you, my friend, with all the love in my heart and all the wisdom of the universe: Take it sleazy.”

– Alec Bojalad

The Haunting of Bly Manor – “The Altar of the Dead”

Perhaps the only thing harder than pulling off an honest-to-goodness serialized horror TV show is doing so twice. But that’s exactly what Mike Flanagan was able to pull off this year with his Netflix followup to The Haunting of Hill House. Like Hill House before it, Bly Manor is based on the works of a classic ghost story writer, in this case Henry James. Unlike Hill House, however, Bly Manor takes a few episodes to really find its rhythm.

Once it does, though, there’s virtually no stopping it. And it’s all thanks to midseason installment “The Altar of the Dead.” It’s clear from moment one that something is off with Bly Manor’s housekeeper Hannah Grose (T’Nia Miller). This is the episode that finally begins to fill in some of the blanks in her story, and subsequently the story of the rest of the house. Much like Billy Pilgrim before her, Miss Grose has become unstuck in time. As Hannah jumps back and forth between her history at Bly Manor, the sinister nature of the property becomes clear. Through Grose’s eyes, we’re treated to the courtship of Rebecca Jessel and Peter Quint. Then we’re taken through all the way to Peter Quint’s death, subsequent possession of Miles, and Hannah’s eventual murder.

It’s not just that “The Altar of the Dead” clarifies the plot of The Haunting of Bly Manor so much that it damn near reveals all of it. And the show is all the better for it. Every episode after “Altar” is able to move forward with a confidence and assuredness that can come only after a masterfully executed setup. It’s all perfectly splendid.

– Alec Bojalad

How To with John Wilson – “How To Cook the Perfect Risotto”

How To With John Wilson’s charms come from the ways that the titular socially awkward documentarian highlights the surreal, funny, perplexing little moments that so frequently occur in public spaces. However, that surreality is turned up to 11 in “How to Cook the Perfect Risotto” as we watch the coronavirus pandemic slowly transform New York City from a bustling, odd metropolis full of characters that are more than willing to invite a complete stranger into their home for a cooking lesson, into a quiet ghost town filmed from the safety of Wilson’s apartment.

Wilson attempts to make his elderly landlord the perfect risotto as a way of thanking her for her kindness, which includes doing Wilson’s laundry, watching Jeopardy with him and delivering him delicious meals. Simultaneously as he’s trying to quit smoking, Wilson is comically frustrated by the endless variables that cause his risotto to not quite live up to his lofty expectations. As he tries to improve his cooking and keep his sanity during nicotine withdrawal, COVID-19 hits the city and causes Wilson’s perspective to completely change. It’s relatable, poignant stuff that sneaks up on you and offers a look at what life has been like in this pandemic in a way that no other piece of art has yet to capture.

– Nick Harley

I May Destroy You – “Ego Death”

‘Ego Death’ was a transcendent half hour. The conclusion to Michaela Coel’s autobiographically inspired drama about surviving sexual assault, it was as probing and inventive as the rest of I May Destroy You.

In the episode, Coel offered viewers three alternative endings. Her character Bella played out fantasy confrontations with the man who, a year earlier, had drugged and attacked her. One is a kickass heist riffing on movie sisterhood and rape revenge. Another is an anti-climax that offers scant closure. Another is gentle, romantic and utterly disorienting. Allowing for multiple interpretations and perspectives, they all happened, and none of them happened.

The climax comes with Bella’s realization that her trauma wouldn’t leave her unless she made it leave. The finale ends with a growing garden, a book reading and an inhalation of breath. With dogged commitment to honesty and no easy answers, it achieved in 30 minutes what some dramas struggle to say in a whole season.

– Louisa Mellor

Killing Eve – “Are You From Pinner?”

Killing Eve has been celebrated for its depiction of the cat and mouse game between its star characters Eve, the former MI6 agent played by Sandra Oh, and Villanelle, the assassin played by Jodie Comer who shares with Eve a mutual obsession. Season 3 experimented with different points of view and delved deeper into the mystery of The Twelve, but it was the backstory of Villanelle (formerly Oksana) in episode 5, “Are You from Pinner?” which really showcased Comer’s depth and the character’s complexity.

The beauty of the episode was the way it lulled the audience into a sense of comfort. Here was Oksana’s long lost family, and they seemed to be happy, fun-loving people who might even welcome their damaged prodigal daughter home. However, even after a joyous carnival, it becomes clear that her mother’s abandonment hides a deeper secret, and the resulting violence and moments of mercy heighten sympathy for the assassin like no episode before or since.

– Michael Ahr

Kipo and the Age of Wonderbeasts – “Real Cats Wear Plaid”

That title alone would earn this episode a spot on the list but its story is even better! “Real Cats Wear Plaid” is the perfect combination of everything that makes Kipo and the Age of Wonderbeasts so unique and wonderful. There are giant cats who not only wear plaid, they carry axes, have giant yarn balls in their trees, sing ramblin’ folk songs, and love eating pancakes. Kipo has to find their leader named Yumyan Hammerpaw, whose namesake song is easily one of the best in the series, to get the cats’ help.

Watching Kipo not only break her friends free from the cats but slowly win over their trust gives us a good look at how she’ll overcome a lot of obstacles throughout the series. She doesn’t go with the simple solution; she uses her brain and her desire to make friends to win the day. Throw in some absolutely gorgeous visuals and you’ve got a warm, comforting, and totally unique piece of television that only this show could pull off. It’ll make a die-hard Kipo fan out of you, guaranteed.

– Shamus Kelley

Legends of Tomorrow – “The One Where We’re Trapped on TV”

“The One Where We’re Trapped on TV” was the high point of a season full of them for Legends of Tomorrow, showcasing everything this series is capable of. We got three note-perfect parodies of shows – Star Trek, Friends, and the funniest one, Downton Abbey – with wildly divergent tones; A+ workplace comedy and lightning fast plot propulsion; and a cast (especially Caity Lotz and Dominic Purcell summarizing and savaging The Wrath of Khan in 35 seconds, and Matt Ryan beautifully jamming parodies of four different Downton characters into one bit) visibly having the time of their lives. All of that was mixed in with serious, genuine, character growth and emotion.

It’s amazing that Legends went from a forgettable side jaunt in the Arrowverse to a stoner workplace time travel sitcom that culminated one season with a Voltron Tickle Me Elmo. Even more amazing is that Season 5 actually topped it, and “The One Where We’re Trapped on TV” was this season’s peak.

– Jim Dandy

Lovecraft Country – “Sundown”

Lovecraft Country was television’s most ambitious show in 2020. Playing with horror and science fiction tropes while mixing in history lessons and comparing the racism in 1950s American with the civil unrest of today, Lovecraft Country took bigger swings than Jackie Robinson clobbering an alien with his Louisville Slugger. Not every episode or moment of Lovecraft Country was successful, but premiere episode “Sundown” is one of the most self-assured, confident debuts of a series in recent memory, a mission statement that establishes characters and blazes through plot points that most shows would have spent a season laboring over.

Our hero Atticus “Tic” Freeman (Jonathan Majors) returns to Chicago to reunite with his Uncle George (Courtney B. Vance) and old crush Leti Lewis (Jurnee Smollett) to go off in search of his missing father Montrose (Michael Kenneth Williams) in Ardham, Massachusetts, a location similar to Arkham, which is prevalent in the stories of H.P. Lovecraft, the favorite author of both Tic and Montrose. In Ardham, the gang find horrors both fictional and painfully real. The hour-long episode feels like a miniature movie. Its best moment is a montage of the trio traveling through segregated America set to a James Baldwin monologue. It’s little touches like that that makes Lovecraft Country so unique, gripping, and grounded even with all of the supernatural elements on display.

– Nick Harley

The Mandalorian – “The Jedi”

Chapter 13 of The Mandalorian was an unexpected midseason payoff for everyone wondering if the story of Din Djarin and “Baby Yoda” would pootle along for a good while longer without answering many questions or tying their adventure into any past Star Wars mythology. This installment threw one game-changing piece of info after another at viewers.

We learned that the adorable green sprog had an actual name (Grogu), that he had been suffering from PTSD so severe that he mentally blocked out a lot of his past before being rescued by Mando, and that he would need to seek out a Jedi to train him to walk the path he might be destined for. Ah, and we also got to meet the live-action version of Ahsoka Tano, played by Rosario Dawson in a very deliberate and self-assured way. After we spent a few minutes with Ahsoka, it was clear that Lucasfilm still had bigger plans for her character beyond The Mandalorian.

Putting aside the many other wonderful Western and samurai influences visually blessing “The Jedi”, the episode formed an important step toward a very different version of Grogu who may develop in future seasons, and as Tano infers, we might not like who he becomes if the darkness creeps in, which only strengthens the bond between Din and The Child, and our investment in the story itself.

– Kirsten Howard

Mythic Quest – “A Dark Quiet Death”

Mythic Quest: Raven’s Banquet was one of 2020’s most pleasant surprises. Apple TV+’s comedy about a videogame studio running a successful MMORPG, worked for all the reasons one might assume. The core showrunning team of Rob McElhenney, Megan Ganz, and David Hornsby (all of It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia) had a solid handle on the show’s concept and characters, and they also clearly did their research on the videogame industry.

Still, in addition to all of that “expected” stuff, Mythic Quest excels in pulling off concepts that viewers might not anticipate from a nine-episode, half-hour sitcom. The ultimate example is “A Dark Quiet Death,” a fascinating installment of television that falls halfway through the show’s first season. “A Dark Quiet Death” completely abandons the show’s main plotline and takes viewers back to the ‘90s where two game developers, played by Jake Johnson and Christin Milioti, meet, fall in love, and decide to build something together.

Soon, however, the two designers are confronted with questions about commerce vs. art and must figure out how many compromises they’re willing to make. In the process they lose themselves, each other, and the art itself. Mythic Quest eventually brings things back tenuously to the present to reveal that Ian Grimm and the Mythic Quest team now occupy the warehouse studio space they once did. Refreshingly there isn’t much of a lesson to be learned from this adjournment other than: all of this is very hard and you’ll want someone by your side to help…but even that’s pretty hard too.

– Alec Bojalad

Outlander – “The Ballad of Roger Mac”

Outlander season 5’s long-awaited battle between the Regulators and Governor Tryon’s militia delivered the sudden and gut-punching loss of one of its fan-favorite characters, Duncan Lacroix’s Murtagh, and also did the impossible in the same episode – made viewers genuinely invested in whether the guitar-strumming Roger Mackenzie lived or died. Even if his past behavior hadn’t covered him in glory, no one wanted to see Bree’s beau go out at the noose-end of a redcoat’s rope.

But the real heart of the episode was the final scenes between Sam Heughan’s character, Jamie Fraser, who didn’t have much time to celebrate his 50th birthday, and his father figure Murtugh, a stubborn-but-loyal man that had saved him countless times since birth, as he unexpectedly passed the patriarchal torch on once and for all. As Jamie fell apart during “The Ballad of Roger Mac” so did we, and a standout episode in Outlander’s middling fifth season was forever etched on our memory.

– Kirsten Howard

Pen15 – “Opening Night”

At its core, Maya Erskine and Anna Konkle’s brilliant coming-of-age comedy Pen15 is all about capturing feelings. This show, featuring Erskine and Konkle deftly embodying their middle school selves (all the while surrounded by actual middle schoolers), understands the feeling of your crush smiling at you, or the best sleepover ever, or the summer of infinite possibilities. Its season two finale “Opening Night,” is perhaps the best example of what the show does so well yet.

Much of “Opening Night” takes place after opening night of the school play, where Maya was the star and Anna was the tech queen. The girls and their families retire to a perfectly acceptable local Italian restaurant where Maya and Anna live out the copacabana scene from Goodfellas and just generally feel on top of the world.

Of course, in adolescence, nothing gold can stay. While “Opening Night” captures the thrill of a “best night ever” it also subtly, devastatingly presents Anna having to deal with the reality of her parents’ incoming divorce and Maya being rejected by a boy once again. Pen15 draws much of its comedy from the novelty of its core duo experiencing every new life event as the Biggest Deal Ever (™). “Opening Night” proves that that’s where the show draws its pathos from as well.

– Alec Bojalad

The Queen’s Gambit – “End Game”

For being one of the best shows of 2020, not much happens in Netflix’s The Queen’s Gambit that could be considered surprising. True to Scott Frank’s limited series sports movie (or bildungsroman) format, chess prodigy Beth Harmon displays preternatural talent, suffers some setbacks, and then comes out on top again. What makes the show excellent, however, is in its execution of that formula.

Nowhere is the show’s execution more acute and satisfying than it is in the finale, “End Game.” This final hour finds Beth finally heading to Moscow to take on her only real rival one final time. The outcome is never really in doubt, but the journey is a supremely satisfying one. There are no shortage of fist-pumping moments, from Beth winning the admiration of her chess idol, to all her friends jumping on the phone to pre-game her final match. It’s the final coda that lingers most pleasantly though. Now on top of the chess world, Beth heads outside to find several Russian citizens playing some exhibition matches. The challenge is over, the day is won, and now all that’s left to do is to keep playing. Not for anyone else but herself.

– Alec Bojalad

Schitt’s Creek – “The Presidential Suite”

The sixth and final season of Schitt’s Creek had a lot of loose ends to tie. The saga of the Rose family, who lost everything but the town Johnny Rose bought for a joke took us on a redemptive journey, not just for them but for town as a whole. It would be easy for the sake of this list, then, to select “Happy Ending” the glorious, hyperbolic finale which includes David and Patrick’s wedding and Moira’s greatest ensemble yet as the best ep. Instead though, it’s this lower key episode from season we choose to celebrate for it’s pitch perfect mix of hope, humor and humanity. This is Alexis and Ted’s episode. While David and Patrick’s romance and nuptials dominate the later series of the show, in “The Presidential Suite” we see Alexis and Ted’s relationship come to a close.

Ted has been offered his dream job in the Galapagos Islands. Alexis’s career as a publicist is starting to take off. He’s travelled back to spend a long weekend with her but his plans got derailed due to some dodgy airline milk. So now the two have just one evening together, and it turns out it’ll be spent saying goodbye. In possibly the most devastating scene in the whole show the two have a private dinner at the Cafe Tropical, where they reflect on how the relationship has helped them both grow. It’s understated, it’s grown up and it’s deeply moving, with gravitas given to characters who are generally speaking not taken very seriously. It’s perfect. Elsewhere in the ep, the second Rosebud motel is almost ready to open and the Roses and the Schitts are competing to christen the best room for the night, while Patrick’s spray tan results in photographic hilarity. There are plenty of great gags – Patrick’s face being one of them – but “Presidential Suite” belongs to Alexis and Ted.

– Rosie Fletcher

Solar Opposites – “Terry and Korvo Steal a Bear”

“Terry and Korvo Steal a Bear” deserves a spot on our best-of list due to title trickery alone. The synopsis of Solar Opposites season 1’s penultimate episode reads “Terry, Korvo, Yumyulack, and Jesse team up to steal a bear from the zoo” but of course: precisely none of this happens. In reality Justin Roiland and Mike McMahan’s excellent animated comedy for Hulu plays a truly wonderful sleight of hand.

The entirety of this episode takes place inside young alien Jesse’s bedroom terrarium where she has imprisoned dozens of shrunken human beings. The show picks up with the goings on “inside the wall” several times throughout the season, but this episode devotes the entirety of its running time to the stories of Tim, Cherie, and all the other people inside this shockingly complex political ecosystem.

Perhaps the best thing any installment of television can do is to make us care deeply about something that we weren’t even aware of to begin with. And that’s the real strength of “Terry and Korvo Steal a Bear.” Though all of this is happening on a truly small scale, it’s hard not to get swept up in the drama of Tim’s fight against The Duke or perhaps even shed some tears at the loss of a very sweet mouse named Molly.

– Alec Bojalad

Ted Lasso – “The Hope That Kills You”

Any sports fan can tell you that it is indeed “the hope that kills you”. Hope is one of the most dangerous things to have in any endeavor you truly care about. After all, how can expectations lead to anything other than disappointment? Defying expectations, however, is Apple TV+’s sports comedy, Ted Lasso, which builds up a lot of hope through its first nine episodes, and then delivers on that hope in a truly satisfying way for the finale.

The Jason Sudeikis and Bill Lawrence-produced Ted Lasso has the sports movie beats down pat. American football coach Ted Lasso gets an English football coaching job through some truly ridiculous circumstances. His team, AFC Richmond, naturally struggles on the pitch but begin to flourish off of it thanks to the relentless optimism of their new gaffer. This remarkable finale is where the rubber finally meets the road. Can AFC Richmond win one game to avoid relegation and fulfill their coach’s hope in them? The answer, somewhat surprisingly, is no.

But the real accomplishment of “The Hope That Kills You” is that it finds hope and victory in defeat all the same.

– Alec Bojalad

The Umbrella Academy – “743”

The penultimate episode of The Umbrella Academy’s second season provided a hefty amount of buildup for the finale, but it was also distinguished by several major reveals and sacrifices, some of which have yet to be fully realized. In the space of a single episode, the apocalypse is averted (again), Hargreeves reveals his true nature (sort of), and the time travel cops of the Commission prepare for a war that perfectly sets up the finale.

The most poignant sacrifice is made by Ben as he explores the depths of Vanya’s mind to keep her from using her powers to start a third world war, but he was technically already dead and has taken a new form of sorts by the end of the season. But other sacrifices put this episode over the top, including the inevitable death of Kennedy and the destruction of the briefcase that could have taken Five and his family home.

– Michael Ahr

What We Do in the Shadows – “On the Run”

Imagine getting none other than Mark Hamill to guest star as a white-haired vampire named Jim upset about a rental agreement on your show. And then imagine not pursuing that rich vein of comedy in favor of having one of your other vampire characters don a “human” disguise and then hit the road merely to avoid paying off some bed and breakfast debts. Well you don’t have to imagine such a scenario if you’re the folks behind FX’s hilarious and brilliant What We Do in the Shadows. This TV adaptation of Taika Waititi and Jemaine Clement’s classic mockumentary film remained as bold and experimental as ever in its second season. Nowhere was it bolder, however, than in the instantly iconic “On the Run.”

“On the Run” exploits one of the tried and true rules of comedic storytelling on television: give Matt Berry the ball and let him cook like LeBron James. Berry has the time of his life in this half hour as Laszlo flees his Staten Island home and heads into hiding in Pennsylvania as Jackie Daytona, normal human bartender. It’s just remarkable to watch Laszl…we mean Jackie Daytona have the time of his life as a pillar of the community and major booster of the local girls high school volleyball team. Of course, the piece de resistance, is everyone’s shocking inability to recognize him as an undead bloodsucker. Even Hamill’s Jim the Vampire doesn’t recognize his foe until Laszlo pulls the signature Jackie Daytona toothpick out of his mouth.

“On the Run” may be pound for pound the funniest episode of television to air this year and all we normal humans are better for having experienced it.

– Alec Bojalad

cnx.cmd.push(function() { cnx({ playerId: "106e33c0-3911-473c-b599-b1426db57530", }).render("0270c398a82f44f49c23c16122516796"); });

The post The Best TV Episodes of 2020 appeared first on Den of Geek.

from Den of Geek https://ift.tt/2KrRGdg

#aion-rsa #Den of Geek

0 notes

thisdaynews · 5 years

Text

Garth Crooks' team of the week: Tarkowski, De Bruyne, Alli, Mane, Vardy

New Post has been published on https://thebiafrastar.com/garth-crooks-team-of-the-week-tarkowski-de-bruyne-alli-mane-vardy/

Garth Crooks' team of the week: Tarkowski, De Bruyne, Alli, Mane, Vardy

Liverpool maintained their eight-point advantage at the top of the Premier League with a late winner at Crystal Palace on Saturday.

That 2-1 victory ensures they remain nine points ahead of defending championsManchester City, who beat Chelsea 2-1 to climb to third in the table.

Leicesterare a point above City in second following a 2-0 win atBrighton,whileTottenhammade a winning start under Jose Mourinho as they beatWest Ham3-2.

On Sunday,Sheffield Unitedscored a dramatic late equaliser as they drew 3-3 withManchester United.

Here’s my team of the week – have a read and then select your own below.

Goalkeeper – Nick Pope (Burnley)

Pope:It’s been a good week for Nick Pope. A solid performance and a clean sheet for England away in Kosovo – and then back in time to play for Burnley and stop Watford taking any points at all.

His save with his feet from Gerard Deulofeu’s effort was as intuitive as it was excellent but the save from a free-kick moments later, bent around the wall by the same player, demonstrated Pope’s confidence and the way he has grown into an international goalkeeper.

Did you know?Nick Pope made four saves as Burnley ended an eight-match winless run away from home in the Premier League.

Defenders – James Tarkowski (Burnley), Fernandinho (Man City), Virgil van Dijk (Liverpool)

Tarkowski:If you win 3-0 away from home and keep a clean sheet, the likelihood of getting in my team of the week is very high and James Tarkowski has done just that.

The Burnley defender survived a tricky moment at Watford when he was booked for cynically bringing down Deulofeu, who he simply couldn’t handle in the first half, but the central defender got better and better as the game progressed – and got a goal too.

In the end, Burnley simply ran away with the game.

Did you know?James Tarkowski’s goal was his first in the Premier League in almost a year, last scoring against Brighton on 8 December.

Fernandinho:He might not be the best centre-back in the world, or even the best defender at his club, but what Fernandinho gives Manchester City is composure.

He is also one of the most committed players I have seen on a football pitch. His second half block on N’Golo Kante’s shot, destined for the back of the net, secured the points against Chelsea.

With Joao Cancelo, John Stones and Benjamin Mendy as reliable as a chocolate fireguard, Pep Guardiola has been very astute in keeping Fernandinho around. The Brazilian has brought an element of calm to their defensive ranks when cool heads have been essential.

Did you know?Fernandinho touched the ball more times than any Manchester City player and won a team-high 76.9% of his duels against Chelsea.

Van Dijk:Virgil van Dijk was at it again. This time, he was strutting around Selhurst Park as if he owned the place.

Whenever Van Dijk plays, Liverpool always seem to retain a sense of calm regardless of the circumstances.

Crystal Palace played their best football for some time, created chances and missed them, and seemed to suffer from the occasion more than their visitors. Strange, that.

Did you know?Virgil van Dijk has completed the most passes in the Premier League this season with 972.

Midfielders – Joao Moutinho (Wolves), Kevin de Bruyne (Man City), Dele Alli (Tottenham), Todd Cantwell (Norwich)

Moutinho:What a goal it was by Joao Moutinho at Bournemouth. When he shaped up for the free-kick, I wondered whether he would have the nerve to take the shot. Not only did he have the nerve – he had the technique to score.

The Portugal international is a gifted player and, alongside his superbly taken goal, he ran the show for long periods.

However, there was an element of inevitability about the Simon Francis sending off. When you spend nearly a year out of a Premier League starting line-up, you can’t expect to come back in and not get found out.

Meanwhile, Wolves are fifth. They can’t possibly keep this up.

Did you know?Joao Moutinho’s goal was the fourth direct free-kick Wolves have scored in the Premier League – with three of those arriving in the past two seasons.

De Bruyne:The warning signs were there in the opening exchanges of Manchester City’s win over Chelsea when Kevin de Bruyne flashed a right-footed shot past Kepa Arrizabalaga’s post.

The Belgium international then manipulated the ball on to his left foot and fired a shot that was deflected into the back of Chelsea’s net.

There are very few players in the world who can strike a ball as well as De Bruyne with either foot. It’s one of the reasons he is such an outstanding player.

Did you know?With three goals and six assists, Kevin de Bruyne has been involved in more home goals than any other player in the Premier League this season.

Alli:The move into the space, the turn and the pass from Dele Alli for Son Heung-min to do what he does best was superb.

However, what took place minutes later in the match at West Ham was something out of a box of magic tricks.

The ball is running out of play, it’s caught by Alli while falling to the ground and, while on the floor, the Tottenham forward back heels the ball into Son’s path – who then provides the perfect cross for Lucas Moura to slot home.

If Alli is going to be a success under Jose Mourinho, he will have to do more off the ball. Chuntering under his breath when the manager substitutes him after 70 minutes will not endear him either. Mourinho is only interested in team players.

Did you know?As well as registering an assist, Dele Alli produced more tackles than any of his team-mates as Spurs made a winning start under Jose Mourinho against West Ham.

Cantwell:This lad has made my team of the week before and I’m not surprised he’s done it again. His performance away at Everton was outstanding.

However, this was a bad result for Everton and even worse for Marco Silva. Liverpool are taking the Premier League by storm – meanwhile, on the other side of Stanley Park, their neighbours are hovering above the relegation zone.

While Cantwell is a player, Everton have too many big names not producing big enough performances. Silva can’t take all the blame but it will be a difficult week. We are in the ‘sacking time’ period.

Did you know?Todd Cantwell scored his first-ever away goal in English league football, in what was his 18th appearance.

Forwards – Sadio Mane (Liverpool), Jamie Vardy (Leicester), Son Heung-min (Tottenham)

Mane:Sadio Mane is fast becoming my favourite to win the PFA Player of the Year award. His performances so far this season have been wonderful.

Against Crystal Palace he was, once again, Liverpool’s biggest threat. He refuses to give any defence a moment’s rest.

That said, the Senegal international might have had a hat-trick in a game that could have finished 3-3. Instead, Liverpool tightened their grip on that elusive Premier League title – and much of that is down to Mane.

Did you know?Sadio Mane has scored more Premier League goals (eight) against Crystal Palace than any other opponent.

Vardy:Is it me or has Jamie Vardy’s game developed? Vardy is regarded as one of the best finishers in the country and quite rightly – he’s been among the league’s leading goalscorers for the past three seasons.

However, what I have detected this season, more than any other, is his unselfishness in front of goal.

I don’t know if this is due to the coaching of Brendan Rodgers or not but what I can tell you is Vardy looks a much more accomplished player. He produced a fabulous performance against Brighton and was the difference between the two teams.

Did you know?Jamie Vardy has scored in five consecutive Premier League games for Leicester, netting seven goals in total in that run.

Son:It’s great to see Son enjoying his football again after the Andre Gomes incident. The South Korea international gave a blistering performance against a West Ham side that couldn’t lay a glove on Tottenham for 60 minutes.

Mourinho’s decision to play Son alongside Harry Kane, Moura and Alli away at the London Stadium proved fatal for the Hammers. It’s still very early days but Son, Kane and Moura could do for Spurs under Mourinho what Mane, Roberto Firmino and Mohamed Salah have done for Liverpool.

Read more about what I have to say about Mourinho’s arrival at Spurs in Crooks of the Matter below.

Did you know?With 19 goals, Son Heung-min is Tottenham’s leading goalscorer in all competitions in 2019 – netting one more than Harry Kane so far this calendar year.

Now it’s your turn

You’ve seen my selections this season. But who would you go for?

Crooks of the Matter

He’s poked a fellow coach in the eye, and argued and pushed others on the touchline, but promises not to make the same mistakes in the future. I’m not entirely sure I believe him.

What is clear is that Jose Mourinho is on a massive charm offensive. How long he can hold it together is anyone’s guess.

The new Tottenham manager has been handed one of the best squads in the country, the best stadium in the world and one of the best academies in the game – and that is all accompanied by state-of-the-art training facilities.

If Mourinho can’t win trophies at this club, he should consider retiring from football permanently.

Let’s face it, that’s why he’s been hired – to win trophies. He can be rude and truculent. However, what he can do is win silverware.

Regular readers will know that I have been one of Mourinho’s biggest critics over the past two years but Spurs are a very different club to Manchester United and this relationship might work.

The moment you start hearing Spurs fans chanting Mourinho’s name, you’ll know it is.

#Bruyne #Vardy

0 notes

bookofjin · 7 years

Text

Records of Lü Guang, Part 1

[From JS122. The conquerer of the Far West.]

Lü Guang, courtesy name Shiming, was a Di native of Lüeyang His ancestor Lü Wenhe at the beginning of [the reign of] Emperor Wen of Han escaped from difficulties in Pei to move to them. For generations they were chiefs and prominent. His father Polou assisted the instructions for Fu Jian, his office reached Grand Commandant.

Guang was born at Fangtou. At night there was extraordinary [incident] of supernatural light [guang]. For that reason they used Guang as his name. At the age of 10 sui, he and the various servant sons roamed and played in the towns and villages. When they made imitations of battle columns, his companions all pushed him forward to be the master. He had the sections divided completely even, the crowd of servant boys sighed and obeyed. He did not enjoy reading books, and only excelled at eagles and horses.

Coming of age, he was 8 chi, 4 cun tall, his eyes had double pupils and his left elbow had a flesh mark. He was given to resoluteness and focused on the weighty, he was broadly terse and had great measures. Happiness or anger was not visible in his countenance. At the time people did not recognize him. Only Wang Meng was amazed by him, saying: “This is no ordinary person” and told about him to Fu Jian. He was recommended as Worthy and Good and filled the vacancy of Prefect of Meiyang. The Yi and the Xia loved him and obeyed. He moved to Eagle Soaring General. He followed Jina on the campaign against Zhang Ping. In the battle at Tongbi he stabbed Ping's adobted son Hao, hitting him. From that his power and fame became greatly displayed.

When Fu Shuang rebelled in Qin province, and Jian's general Yang Chengshi was defeated by Shuang's general Ji Xing, Guang and Wang Jian punished him. Jian desired a quick battle. Guang said:

Since Xing earlier routed Chengshi, his treacherous airs has gradually expanded. We ought to grasp heavily to thereby await his destruction. Xing avails himself of the victory to carelessly come, when his provisions are exhausted he will surely withdraw. If on the withdrawal we then strike him, he can then be routed.

After 20 days, Xing retreated. The various generals did not know what to do. Guang said:

Inferring on his treacherous plan, he will surely attack Yumei. Suppose [he?] takes Yumei, occupying the city and cutting the road, the wealth and reserves will again be sufficient, not be of benefit to the state. We ought to quickly advance host. Suppose Xing attacks the city, we especially come to its aid. If on his flight, his food is already gone, we can then wipe him out.

Jian followed it, and as a result defeated Xing's army. He followed Wang Meng to wipe out Murong Wei, and was enfeoffed Marquis of Duting.

When Fu Zhong was headquartered in Luoyang, he used Guang as Senior Clerk. When Zhong planned rebellion, Fu Jian heard about it and said:

Lü Guang is loyal, filial, square and proper. They are certainly not together.

He hurriedly sent instructions to Guang to imprison Zhong and send him off. He amassed to enter as Leader of the Right to the Heir-Apparent, considerably seeing respect and honour.

Li Yan, a native of Shu, assembled a multitude of 20 000, and attacked and pressured Yi province. Jian used Guang as General who Rout the Caitiffs, leading troops to punish and wipe him out. He moved to Colonel of Foot Soldiers. When Fu Luo rebelled, Guang also struck and pacified him, and was designated General of Valiant Cavalry.

Jian had already pacified the [lands] East of the Mountains and soldiers and horses were strong and abundant. He thereupon had aspirations for planning against the Western Regions. He therefore conferred on Guang Envoy Holding the Tally and Commander-in-Chief of All Army Affairs of Western Punishing, and to lead Generals Jiang Fei, Peng Huang, Du Jin, Kang Sheng and others, with altogether 70 000 troops and 5 000 armoured cavalry [lit. “iron cavalry”], to thereby punish the Western regions, using Dong Fang of Longxi, Guo Bao of Fengyi, Jia Qian of Wuwei and Yang Ying of Hongnong as Assistant Commanders of the Four Offices. Jian's Heir-Apparent Hong held Guang's hand, saying:

The Lord's receptacles are judged not common [?]. [You] will surely have great fortune, and ought to deeply protect and be fond of.

He journeyed to arrive at Gaochang and heard Jian was robbing Jin. Guang desired still further to wait for later instructions. The section general Du Jin said:

Your Excellency has received appointment to Jinfang [?]. In attending to actions we ought to be speedy. [You] have questions when not finished, why then stay further!

Guang therefore advanced to reach the Flowing Sands, for more than 300 li there was no water. The generals and soldiers turned paled. Guang said:

I have heard Li Guang was keen, quintessentially sincere with profound feelings, gushing and setting forth from Feiquan [?]. I and other others, how can we alone not feel effect? [?] August Heaven is surely about to be of help. You Lords need not worry.

Soon there was a great rain, covering the land 3 chi. He advanced the army to arrive at Yanqi. Its king, Niliu led his nearby [?] states to request surrender. The King of Qiuci, Bochun, resisted Guang. Guang's army was to the south of his city. [For each] five li, there was one encampment. There was deep ditches and high ramparts. They extensively made imitation soldiers, using wood as the person, making them use armour, arraying them atop the ramparts. Bochun expelled and moved the people outside the walls to enter inside the walls, and relied on commoners, lords and kings each to encircle the city and defend themselves [?].

Coming to this, inside Guang's left arm the blood vessel rose up as complete characters, the writing said: “Great Hegemon”. Outside the encampment at night there was a black creature, so great as to breaking up the dike [?], with swaying motion and horned head, its eyes shining like lightning. When it got light [?] there was clouds and fog from four sides. Thereupon it was not seen again. At dawn they saw in its place, from north to south 5 li, from east to west more than 30 paces, fish scale armour hidden by it in the earth [?] luminous like it was there. Guang smiled and said:

A black dragon!

Soon after clouds rose to the north-west, and violent rain extinguished its trace. Du Jin talked to Guang, saying:

Dragons are supernatural beasts, a ruler is fortunate to see their image. The Changes says: “To see the dragon in the field, virtuous bestowal is universal.” This is truly to clarify the General's Way to unite a spiritual peace, a virtuous token to the obscure and evident [?]. [I] desire the General to make an effort for it, thereby completing the great celebration.

Guang had joyful appearance.

The again advanced to attack Qiuci city. At night he dreamt that a golden figure flew beyond the outside of the city. Guang said:

This says the Buddha god is leaving them. The Hu will surely be destroyed.

Guang's attack on the city was already pressing. Bochun therefore poured out the state's wealth and treasure to request aid from Kuaihu. Kuaihu's younger brothers Nielong and Marquis-General Kui led more than 200 00 cavalry, also pulling out the kings of the states of Wensu, Weitou and others, combining more than 700 000 to thereby rescue him. The Hu were proficient in bows and horses, good with the lance and spear, with mail like continuous chains, when shot at they were not pierced. They used leather ropes as snares, whipped the horses and hurled at people. Many were hit. The multitudes considerably dreaded them. The various generals all desired each encampment to join their columns, leaning on the troops to thereby resist them. Guang said:

The others are multitude and we are few, the encampments are also far from each other, our power divided and strength scattered. This is not a good plan.

And so he moved the encampments to be in continues row of each other, made imitations of joined locks, [used] spirited cavalry as a roaming army, and completely mended their watch towers. In a battle west of the city, he greatly defeated them, the beheaded tallied more than 10 000. Bochun gathered his precious treasure and ran. The kings and lords who surrendered were from more than 30 states.

Guang entered their city, and greatly feasted the generals and soldiers, and in rhapsodies and poetry spoke of his aspirations. He saw their palace buildings were large and beautiful, and instructed the Army Advisor Duan Ye compose a Rhapsody on the Palace of Qiuci to mock it. The Hu people were extravagant and luxurious, lavishly supporting their lives, the houses had grapevine alcohol, sometimes up to a thousand hu, to last through a decade without fail. There were officers and men who sank and drowned on after the other.

The various states dreaded Guang's powerful fame, tribute earnestly lined the road. He therefore established Bochun's younger brother Zhen as king to thereby calm them. Guang consoled and soothed the Western Regions, his power and kindness to great extent evident. Of those truculent and shrewed kings of the Hu who formerly had not submitted. Within thousand li all came to return to adherence. The sovereigns of Han had bestowed tallied which were transmitted [?]. Guang always displayed and replaced them.

Jian heard Guang had pacified the Western Regions, and used him as Envoy Holding the Tally, Cavalier in Regular Attendance, Commander-in-Chief of All Army Affairs Westward of the Jade Gate, General who Calms the West and Colonel of the Western Regions. But the road was cut and it did not pass through.

When Guang had pacified the Qiuci, he had aspirations of staying there. At the time he began to obtain Jiumo Luoshi [Kumarajiva, JS095]. Luoshi recommended him to return east. This is spoken of in the Biography on the Western Yi. [Actually in his biography in JS095.] Guang hence greatly feasted feasted the civil and military officials, broadly debating to advance or stay. The multitudes all requested to turn back. Guang followed them. He used more than 20 000 camels to deliver the precious treasures of the foreign states, occult performers and strange displays, more than a thousand unusual birds and peculiar beasts, and more than 10 000 excellent horses.

But Fu Jian's Grand Warden of Gaochang, Yang Han advised his Inspector of Liang province, Liang Xi, to resist and defend the Gaotong and Yiwu passes. Xi did not follow. Guang arrived at Gaochang and Han used the commandery to welcome him in surrender. Earlier, Guang heard of his advise, and detested him. He also heard of Fu Jian's grievous defeat, and that Chang'an was endangered and under pressure, and planned and desired to delay the host. Du Jin admonished, saying:

Liang Xi as a surplus of cultured elegance, but his ingenuity and perceptiveness is insufficient. In the end he will not be able to accept the good and follow follow advice, [his?] desires insufficient to be worried about. I have heard the one above and below are not similar. We ought to make a swift advance. If we advance but are not victorious, [I] request to receive execution for the transgressive words.

Guang followed it. When he arrived at the Jade Gate, Liang Xi transmitted a call to arms calling to account Guang for on his own instructions in returning with the host, and dispatched his son Yin with the [General who] Raises Power, Yao Hao and the Attendant Officer Wei Han to lead a multitude of 50 000, resisting Guang at Saquan.

Guang responded to the call to arms for Liang province, calling Xi to account for not being sincere in attending to the difficulties and several of his crimes in barring the return of the host. He dispatched Peng Huang, Du Jin, Jiang Fei and others as the vanguard, striking Yin and greatly defeating him. Yin and the light generals and close followers beneath his banners, several hundred cavalry, fled east. Du Jin pursued and captured them.

And so the Hu and Yi of the Four Mountains all came to earnestly adhere. The Grand Warden of Wuwei, Peng Ji, arrested Xi to request surrender. Guang entered Guzang, and [called] himself Acting Inspector of Liang province and Colonel who Protects the Qiang. He petitioned for Du Jin to be General who Assists the State and Grand Warden of Wuwei, enfeoffed as Marquis of Wushi [“Martial Beginning”]. He himself had the remainder enfeoffed and designated each proportionally.

Guang's Master of Accounts, Wei You, was a treacherous flatterer inclined to scorn people. Seeing the rejection of the former court, he and Peng Ji together planned to arrest Liang Xi. Guang deeply regarded him with favour and trust. He therefore slandered and executed Yao Hao of Nan'an, Yin Jing of Tianshui and others, famous gentlemen, more than ten people. Distant and near notably due to this left the two.

Guang made use of pulling up You to be General who Soothes the Distant and Grand Warden of Jincheng. You stayed at Qianya, and attacked and occupied the outside of the city to use in rebellion. You's cousin Sui occupied Zhanyin to thereby submit to him. Guang dispatched his general Wei Zhen to punish Sui. Sui was defeated and fled to You. Guang's general Jiang Fei also struck and defeated Hao's multitudes.

Hao fled to occupy Xingcheng, inciting the hundred families. Among the Yi and Xia many followed him. Fei's Marshal Zhang Xiang and Army Advisor Guo Ya planned to kill Fei and submit to You. They were discovered, absconded and fled.

Earlier, at Fu Jian's defeat, Zhang Tianxi fled south. His Heir, Dayu, was hidden by the Colonel of the Chang River, Wang Mu. When Jian returned to Chang'an, Mu wanted Dayu to flee to Tufa Sifujian. Sifujian sent him off to Wei'an. Guang dispatched his general Du Jin to punish them. He was defeated by Dayu. Dayu thereupon advanced to pressure Guzang, seeking to decide victory or defeat. Wang Mu admonished, saying:

Lü Guang's provisions are abundant and his walls strong. His armoured troops are spirited and sharp, pressuring him is not profitable. It is not as good as rolling up west of the mountain peaks, hone the troops and store up millet, turn eastward and then fight. There will not even be a year before it is possible to thereby pacify [him].

Dayu did not follow, and therefore dispatched Mu to request aid in the various commanderies west of the mountain peaks. The Grand Warden of Jiankang, Li Xi, the Chief Commandant of Qilian, Yan Chun and Yan Xi raised troops to obey him. Dayu advanced to garrison west of the city. Wang Mu leading a multitude of 30 000 and Sifujian's son Xiyu and others were arranged to the south of the city. Guang set out and struck, routing them. He beheaded Xiyu and others and more than 20 000 others. Guang spoke to the various generals, saying:

Dayu, if he had employed the words of Wang Mu, [I] fear he would not yet be possible to pacify.

The various generals said:

Dayu, how did he not catch up with this! August Heaven desired to help make successful the Enlightened Excellency's profession of the eight hundred. Because of that [Heaven] made Dayu lose his way from the good calculations, that is all.

Guang was greatly pleased, and bestowed gold and silk proportionally. Dayu went to Lintao from Xi commandery, expelling and carrying off the hundred families, more than 5 000 households, defending and occupyingJucheng. Guang's generals Peng Huang and Xu Jiong attacked and rotued him Dayu fled to Guangwu. Mu fled to Jiankang. The people of Guangwu arrested Dayu and sent him off. He was beheaded in the market of Guzang.

Guang at this point first heard of Fu Jian being murdered by Yao Chang. He strove in anger, grieved and shouted. The Three Armies [put on] white mourning dress. There was a great lamentation south of the city and they bogus posthumously conferred on Jian the name of Civil and Bright [wenzhao] August Emperor. The senior officers down to 100 shi wore the unstitched hemp for three months. The commoners wept and cried for three days.

And so Guang [issued] a great amnesty within his borders, established the inaugural as Tai'an [“Grand Calm”], titling himself Envoy Holding the Tally, Palace Attendant, Great Chief Controller of the Centre and Outside, Commanding All Army Affairs of Longyou and Hexi, Great General, Commander of the Palace Gentlemen who Adjoins and Protects the Xiongnu, Shepherd of Liang province, and Duke of Jiuquan.

Wang Mu raided and occupied Jiuquan, titling himself Great General and Shepherd of Liang province. At the time the price of grain jumped in cost, a dou was valued at 500. People ate each other, the dead were more than half. Guang's Grand Warden of Xiping, Kang Ning, titled himself King of the Xiongnu, holding back [?] the troops to thereby rebel. Guang again and again dispatched to punish him, but did not win.

Earlier, when Guang settled Hexi, Du Jin was influential in it, so he used him as General who Assists the State and Grand Warden of Wuwei. When he had resided at seat of government [?], his power had been exalted for a single season. He set out and entered Yuyi [?]. He and Guang were well matched to each other [?]. Guang's sister's son Shi Cong arrived from Guanzhong. Guang said:

The people of the Central Provinces, what do they say about my government reforms?

Cong said:

The end to their knowledge [?] is Du Jin, that is all. They truly have not heard of Uncle.

Guang was silent, and because of this executed Jin. Guang later feasted the crowd of companions, drunk on beer, the talk reached government affairs. At the time the laws were stern and heavy, the Army Advisor Duan Ye advanced to say:

Stern laws and heavy regulations, are not the righteousness of an enlightened king.

Guang said:

The laws of Shang Yang became steep, yet he united the various lords. The techniques of Wu Qi were without intimacy, yet the Man of Jing became hegemons. Why was that?

Ye said:

Your Enlightened Excellency has received Heaven's interest and instructions. The lords of the regions oversee the Four Seas, viewing the acts of Yao and Shun, as if fearing to be a criminal [?]. Why desire to use the final laws of Shang and Shen to preside over Way to righteousness' Godly Province? [?] How is this the province's gentlemen and women's expectations for Your Enlightened Excellency!

Guang changed his face and apologized to him, and so sent down orders censuring himself. He then esteemed the spacious and simple in his government affairs.

His general Xu Jiong and the Grand Warden of Zhangye, Peng Huang, planned rebellion. Guagn dispatched the host to punish Jiong. Jiong fled to Huang. Huang to the east joined with Kang Ning, the four communicated with Wang Mu. Guang discussed with the generals to punish them. The various generals all said:

Now Kang Ning is to the south, holding back troops waiting for a crack. Suppose the Great Carriage [goes on] a western campaign. Ning will surely exploit the absence to set out for left of the peaks. [If] Huang and Mu are not yet pacified, and Kang Ning also arrives, we advance and withdraw stumbling and bumbling, the trend will surely be greatly dangerous.

Guang said:

The trend of the affair is truly like Sirs' words. But now to not go, is to sit down and wait for them to come. Huang and Mu together are each other's lips and teeth. Ning also together with criminals aiding each other [?], east and west exchanging arrival, and the outside of the city not in our possession. [If we] suppose this, the great affair is lost.

Now Huang's rebellious treason started [as one of] you. His feelings and bond with Ning and Mu are not yet thick. When his granaries are at an end, defeating him will be easy. Moreover of the rise and fall of the instructions, Sirs must not speak again.

Guang hence himself led 30 000 infantry and cavalry on a double march. When they had arrived, they attacked him for 20 days. Huang's general Kou Yi cut off the passes to accept Guang [?]. Hence they executed Peng Huang. Wang Mu had used his faction member Suo Gu as Grand Warden of Dunhuang, but then became jealous of his power and fame, and led the multitudes to attack Gu. Guang heard of it, and spoke to the various generals, saying:

The two caitiffs are attacking each other, this is a complete catch [?].

Guang wanted to attack them. The multitudes all considered it to be impossible. Guang said:

To conquer the disorderly and disgrace the destroyed, a good rule on warfare from the classics. It is not possible to thereby making use of the toil of summoned and yet lose the recommendation of eternal idleness [?].

He led 20 000 infantry and cavalry to attack Jiuquan, overcoming it, and advanced to stay at Liangxing. Mu pulled out the host to return east. In the middle of the journey the multitudes scattered and Mu fled on a single horse to Xingma. The Prefect of Xingma, Guo Wen, cut off his head and sent it off.

At this time, a unicorn was seen in Jinze county, a hundred beasts following it. Guang considered it auspicious for himself, and accordingly in Xiaowu's 14th Year of Taiyuan [389 AD], usurped the throne as King of Sanhe. He set up the hundred officials from Assistant Gentleman and down, there was an amnesty within his borders, and the year titled Linjia [“Unicorn Excellence”].

Guang's wife Ms. Shi, son Shao and younger brother Deshi arrived from Chouchi. Guang welcomed them to the east of the city, and greatly feasted the crowd of subjects. He dispatched his sons, the General of the Left, Ta, and the Commander of the Palace Gentlemen Agile as Tigers, Zuan to punish the northern caitiff Piqin [?] at Sanyan Mountain, greatly routing him. He established his wife Ms. Shi as Royal Consort and son Shao as Heir. He feasted his crowd of subjects inside the park and new hall [?].

The Grand Temple was newly completed. He posthumously venerated his great great grandfather as the Respectful [jing] Duke, his great grandfather as the Reverent [gong] Duke, his grandfather as the Propagating [xuan] Duke, his father as the Luminous and Bright [jingzhao] King, his mother as the Bright and Zealous [zhaolie] Consort.

His Palace Writer Attendant Gentleman Yang Ying sent up a missive, requesting to rely on the old affairs of the Three Eras, to posthumously venerate Lü Wang as the First Founder [shizu] forever not to be moved from the temple. Guang followed it.

That year, the Mail Controller of Zhangye, Fu Yao, examined and assessed the subordinate counties. But the Prefect of Qiuchi, Yin Xing, killed him and threw him into an empty well. Yao appeared to Guang in a dream, saying:

Your Subject was a minor magistrate of Zhangye commandery, filing and accounting the various counties. Yet the Prefect of Quichi, Yin Xing, with stole goods strewn and cluttered [?], feared Your Subject would speak of it, killed Your Subject and threw [him] inside an empty well south of the village. Your Subject wore clothes and was shaped in body like this.

Guang woke up and still saw [him]. Some time later he then disappeared. He dispatched envoys to investigate him in detail like in the dream. Guang was angry and killed Xing.

The Gentleman Prepare of Documents, Duan Ye, since Guang was not able to spread purity and incite the muddled, making the virtuous and stupid pass beyond the habitual [?], and because of that healed illness at Tianti Mountain, made petitions of his intentions, composing Nine Sighs and Seven Criticisms in 16 chapters to thereby criticize him. Guang looked at them and was pleased with him.

Peng Xinian of the Southern Qiang entered to attack Baitu. The Chief Commandant, Sun Zhi withdrew and fled to Xingcheng. Guang dispatched his Commander of the Palace Gentlemen of the South, Lü Fang, his younger brother the General of the Right, Lü Bao, the [General who] Raises Power, Yang Fan, and [the General of] Strong Cross-Bows, Dou Ji, to punish Qifu Qiangui in Jincheng.

Fang garrison north of the He. Bao advanced the host to cross the He, but was defeated by Qiangui. Bao died there. [The General] Agile as Tigers, Lü Zuan, and [the General of] Strong Cross-Bows, Dou Ji, led 5 000 infantry and cavalry south to punish Peng Xinian. They fought at Panyi, they were greatly defeated and returned.

Guang personally punished Qiangui and Xinian. He dispatched Zuan, the [General who] Spreads the Martial, Yang Gui, the [General who] Establishes Loyalty, Juqu Luochou, and the [General who] Establishes the Martial, Liang Gong with an army to Zuonan. Xinian was greatly afraid, and amassed rocks at the Baitu ford as a dike, using the river to strengthen himself. His dispatched 10 000 spirited troops to resist and defend the ford of the He. Guang dispatched General Wang Bao to unexpectedly appear above the ford, and at night crossed the Huang [湟] He. Guang crossed himself at the stone dike and attacked and overcame Fuhan. Xinina fled on a single horse to Gansong. Guang rearranged and turned back.

Earlier, Guang moved the people of Xihai commandery to various commanderies. Arriving at this point, a song said:

The heart of the lead [?] horse, why is it sad? It recalls from ancient old times the toil within his heart. The swallow and sparrow, why do they walk back and forth? They are thinking wishing to return to the old nests.

Soon after, [people?] thereupon inciting each other, he again moved them to Ledu in Hexi.

The crowd discussed that since Gaochang, though it was on a limb to the west, the land there was shaped for victory, to the outside connected with the Hu caitiffs, and it could easily give birth to rebellion, they ought to dispatch a son or younger brother to headquarter there. Guang used his son Fu as Envoy Holding the Tally, General who Headquarters the West, Commander-in-Chief of All Army Affairs Westward of the Jade Gate and Great Chief-Protector of the Western Regions, headquartered at Gaochang, and instructed the great subjects' sons and brothers to follow him.

And so Guang used the 21st Year of Taiyuan [396 AD] to usurp the rank of Heavenly King, there was a great amnesty within his borders, and he changed the year to Longfei [“Dragon Flying”]. He established the Heir Shao as Heir-Apparent, the various sons and brothers to be Dukes and Marquises, 20 people. The Prefect of the Palace Writers, Wang Xiang, became Supervisor of the Left to the Masters of Writing. Duan Ye and others, 5 people, became Masters of Writing.

#js122 #lü guang

1 note · View note