#deathandindignitybedamned

[lykegenia]

OC Tag Game

I got tagged by @serenpedac and @cleverblackcat over on my DA sideblog - thank you!

Favorite OC: Rosslyn Cousland (DA:O), which surprises no one, I’m sure. She was my first major exploration of a character and throguh her I learned a lot about myself as well. Also she’s a badass

Newest OC: Thalass Eveni Dziah, my blue dragonborn sorcerer who’s very excited to be a scholar and who is my first ever DnD character. I’m looking forward to getting to know them and what they can do when the campaign starts next week

Oldest OC: Also Rosslyn, I made her during my second DA:O playthrough but she was the first to actually become a character. She romances Alistair, hates being made a Warden, and loves making her enemies Regret pissing her off

Meanest OC: Probably Leah Kingston (TWC, Natemancer)? None of my OCs are truly mean-spirited but Leah is champion of sarcasm and when she wants it to bite she can get really nasty. She tends to lash out when she’s feeling out of her depth, too, which isn’t good

Softest OC: Gwawr verch Morvanue (Dragon Age). She’s from a prequel to DA:O that I’m writing, she’s a Chasind healer and she’s very different from most of my other OCs, far more nurturing and laidback

Most Aloof/Standoffish OC: Rhiannon Lloyd (TWC Masonmancer) - she learned early on that expressing emotion never got her anything, so she locks her feelings away and pretends everything is fine. She’s also learned the value of silence and often waits for other people to reveal themselves so she can respond properly.

Dumbest (Affectionate) OC: I’m not sure I have one of those. Rosslyn has a tendency to be reckless, but that’s not dumb, she just has anger issues XD

Smartest OC: Maighread Trevelyan (DA:I). She has an eidetic memory and spent most of her early life in the Circle library, so has a foundation in all sorts of knowledge. Leah is also pretty smart, and she’s great at deductive reasoning even when people would rather she emotionally with a problem.

OC I'd Be Friends With: Well I know Rosslyn would be far too cool for me. I can imagine sitting in a library with Maighread,either casually reading separate books in silence or else having in depth conversations about magical theory - or hiking in the woods with Leah, complaining about the latest supernatural nonsense

I need to tag people! (only if you want to) @gingerbreton @ellenembee @deathandindignitybedamned @mutantenfisch @allisondraste @choccy-zefirka

[ofhouseadama]

rules: tag 10 people you want to know better

Tagged by @bijoumikhawal 💖

relationship status: happily married to @echrai, celebrating our fifth anniversary this summer

favorite color: dusty blue or eucalyptus green

song stuck in my head: tbh it's the entire album "stick season" by noah kahan with occasional visits from "no plan" by hozier and "in the morning" by the ballroom thieves

last song listened to: "the spiritual" by jukebox the ghost

favorite foods: i could rattle off a ton of pretentious shit that are my favorite recipes to cook and eat but like... honestly just give me a really really good medium rare chocolate chip cookie, right out of the oven

Last thing I googled: the location of a hotel i want to visit, bc hilton team member perks

dream trip: ten days in joshua tree

tagging: @echrai @doctoraliceharvey @holy-ships-x-red-lips @splendidemendax @antimonyantigone @deathandindignitybedamned @tzaddi @rahleeyah @cosmonauthill @shieldmaidenofsherwood

[nicoleanell]

Tagged by @deathandindignitybedamned

The rules are simple: Find your most listened to/most favorite playlist and place it on shuffle. See what the first 10 songs to play are.

...I did the @dollsome-does-tumblr​ version of this and just threw my current Spotify "On Repeat" mix on shuffle, which it turns out is highly tainted by the fact I saw SIX on Broadway recently. But here ya go!

(FYI the first Bo Burnham track to appear was “1985″, missing the 10 song cutoff by like 3 other tracks from “Six” this much.)

[laurelsofhighever]

WSW: Bereft

Ok, so "bereft" absolutely feels like a word I would use, but I can't find it :(

--

send me a word and I'll hunt for it in my wips

[felicityollies]

Because you asked for it...... Season 7a miscommunication

Just Go

a/n: [rubs hands together] ok i don’t remember that much of season 7 but imma try

Hot water beat down on Oliver’s face. His first shower at home since he… went away. He couldn’t seem to relax. Every time he closed his eyes he pictured himself back in prison. He felt the presence of other men around him. His panic spiked. He was never safe. Someone was always ready to attack. The curtains parted and he whipped around. His fist clenched ready to punish whoever had decided they wanted a piece of him that day. 

Felicity startled and took a step back. “I’m sorry.” 

“Don’t do that,” Oliver whispered taking a step away from her. 

“I… I didn’t mean.” 

“I could have hurt you.” His voice raised with every word. 

Felicity took her own tentative step backward. 

“Go… just go.” 

She left without another word. 

Oliver swallowed. He shut the curtain. His fingers shook as he gripped the plastic. His heart pound in his chest. A loud thud he could hear, almost deafening when added with the crashing water against the back of his skull. 

He could barely bring himself back to the present. Felicity always grounded him and yet he sent her away. Stupid. He closed his eyes again, turning toward the cool tile, he pressed his head against it. 

“I’m home.” His voice shook. “I’m home.” 

one word/sentence prompts? || ao3

[coffeesuperhero]

deathandindignitybedamned replied to your post “me, smiling, hopeful, lying to myself: yep, I can write this 5x...”

*cackle*

becca i just wanted OT3 snuggling why are there so many words about that now

[leiascully]

@deathandindignitybedamned replied to your post “Remember when my friends couldn’t come to my wedding because they...”

I still wish I could have been there ��������

I wish the sound on our livestream had worked!  I know a Friday night wedding kind of in the middle of nowhere isn’t convenient for everyone.

[therewas-a-girl]

Shipwrecks, Of the Wretched, de profundis ALL OF THE QUESTIONS

the 

you think i will be intimidated by this BUT CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!!! *cracks knuckles*

Shipwrecks

1. What inspired you to write the fic this way?

this fic is written mostly traditionally tbh - its cronologically told, in third person and mostly from one pov which is (and will be) feclicity. however, i have changed my mind about a lot of things since i started the fic - for one, i want to incorporate the whole ‘unreliable narrator’ thing a lot more. i want to use flashbacks more carefully: playing with timelines in how cetain present time events triger past moemories that illuminate the REASON behind present time choices. things like that. 

the real inspiration for the fic itself was another fic i read -  I've Never Truly Loved (Until You Put Your Arms Around Me) by theirhappystory. And the fact that i read that fic ... while i was on a boat... while there was a storm. a small one BUT STILL. 

2: What scene did you first put down?

Whatever Walks Here, Walks Alone - aka oliver looking at felicity in the lair. by itself this scene could fit anywhere from the begining of season 1, to anywhere in season 2. i didnt really write it with a timeline in mind. it was mroe like me pondering the characters. 

3: What's your favorite line of narration?

i had a LOT of fun - unexpected fun - writing Diggle’s pov in teh whole situation. you see, when i started the story the first thing i wanted to figure out was where do i want the characters to end up in relation to each other - so that i could start the story with them being in the diametrically opposite  spot! but then i realized that i also want contrast within the trio - and where oliver and felicity move towards each other at a glacial pace, john and felicty have a much more easy time understanding where the other stands. like... they vibe. and it had a lot o fun planing out that vibe - and all teh ways it pisses off oliver, in the begining. 

4: What's your favorite line of dialogue?

To answer this i would have to go back and re-read a lot of what i wrote and plan to write, but there is a line that STAYS with me and its one felicity says. 

so - in the show, the trio do eventually find out that the Gambit was sabotaged and did not just sink. Now - in Shipwrecks - this would have  a major devastating effect on felicity, who was in the gambit with oliver and sara. And she is the one that has the hunch that moira was involved (i think this happens in canon too?) - and she pushes oliver about it. Bc ofc she thinks of moira as just another person. Worse even - a person who hurt her. At this point she is MANIC about it and it freaks oliver out. Like, take the natural defensiveness he has against the idea and add a fear that felicity might genuinely kill his mother, and you get him being very agressively AGAINST felicity following moira anywhere. and when felicity understands that oliver has no intention of pursuing a what she sees as a genuine lead about the event that practically ruined them as people, she just, shuts down, makes a disgusted face, thinks of all the ritch fuckers she’s known and framed and used and how they close ranks when their reputation or personal interest is touched and just, blurts it out.  

 ‘you fucking people.’ 

5: What part was hardest to write?

all of it lmao. like WRITING IT. 

6: What makes this fic special or different from all your other fics?

The fact that i planned it out and it has like, different installments and a whole journey, which is one of losing oneself, understanding that ones self has been lost, seeing vengence for that loss (aka giving in/facing the anger it causes), seeking freedom, going against ones impulses to build better ones, building relationships, mantaining them, finding ones self through small acts of kindness towards ones self, rebuilding ones personality

basically i wrote a journey about getting out of depression and grief, before i realized that THAT was what i was actually writing about. 

7: Where did the title come from?

The title of the series is pretty straightforward: they were shipwrecked and now theyre coming back. 'above the vaulted sky’ is a line from a I am, by John Claire.  

I am—yet what I am none cares or knows;My friends forsake me like a memory lost:I am the self-consumer of my woes—They rise and vanish in oblivious host,Like shadows in love’s frenzied stifled throesAnd yet I am, and live—like vapours tossedInto the nothingness of scorn and noise,Into the living sea of waking dreams,Where there is neither sense of life or joys,But the vast shipwreck of my life’s esteems;Even the dearest that I loved the bestAre strange—nay, rather, stranger than the rest.I long for scenes where man hath never trodA place where woman never smiled or weptThere to abide with my Creator, God,And sleep as I in childhood sweetly slept,Untroubling and untroubled where I lieThe grass below—above the vaulted sky.

It’s a rather sad one actually, but i read it as a poem about hope. About the dream of hope, anyway. And this need to be away - from what is known because at this point what is known is horrible and the only happiness the imagination can come up with, is to be as far from it as possible and alone. and that is very much where felicity starts out with. With her hope not being about peace, but an isolation in stillness because that is the only good place she can imagine. 

8: Did any real people or events inspire any part of it?

It did. I’ve been depressed and strugling with horrendous issues of self worth and anxiety since i was about 14. And i never knew. It literally took me turning 28 to realize what the fuck was wrong. And its depressing (lol) because its just so much fucking time that i wasted, you know. And i remember - like, when i was deep in my depression - i used to think all the time ‘I must have been a real life person once. Like, an actual person, with a personality, and likes and dislikes and feelings - but i dont remember her. I dont know who that girl even is, i woudlnt regognise her at all.’ It felt like some part of me had died. Like there was literal murder involved. Cause so little of me survived. 

but it turns out, i have been this way - just less intensely (and in some cases a lot MORE intensely) since i hit puberty. i didnt die - i just got worse and did not deal with it at all.  

9: Were there any alternate versions of this fic?

not really. not yet, anyway. 

10: Why did you choose this pairing for this particular story?

im actually not sure that i do want oliver-felicity for this sotry. the dynamic between felicity and tommy is also very veyr interesting. and i dont really know where i will take them. especially in the first and second story, their connection is intense. but this is also part of teh slowburn - oliver and felicity, however it happens, its gonna be slow. 

11: What do you like best about this fic?

how personal it is to me, and my experience. and the fact that, if i write it well, i might actually be sayin something. 

12: What do you like least about this fic?

THE FACT THAT I HAVENT WRITTEN IT YET T_T

13: What music did you listen to, if any, to get in the mood for writing this story? Or if you didn't listen to anything, what do you think readers should listen to to accompany us while reading?

PHEW I have whole playlists i built as i was ordering this whole series. with songs that fit the mood, the direction of the storytelling and all. 

14: Is there anything you wanted readers to learn from reading this fic?

I genuinely want people to see this as a story about healing.

15: What did you learn from writing this fic?

i havent written all of it yet - but i did learn something very interesting about myself. that i have been putting my trauma into narratives to deal with it looong since i knew that was a thing, or i was even aware that i was doing it. 

and on that depressing note, i will end this post and start a new one for the other stories lmao 

[absentlyabbie]

@deathandindignitybedamned replied to your post: @raywritesthings replied to your post ...

Yes to all of this. There is solid progression for Nine that carries into Ten’s first year. I loved Eleven’s first year. But it felt like after that moffat fell into a “blow shit up and hit a reset button” trend to me. Maybe this coincided with the peak US crossover appeal and him running both DW and Sherlock. #latetotheparty

it's honestly also just that that's moffat’s narrative sensibility. it's demonstrated in his commentary on rose (he referred to her as a clingy ex girlfriend the doctor had to fob off on a clone) and the way thinks no one is interesting (especially women) just for being well-written people, but instead have to be absolutely chock full of plot devices and ~specialness~ beyond who they are as human beings. 

he takes "go big or go home" and turns it into "go big and then bigger and burn home down so no one has to see that you were ever ~domestic and boring~" and i find it all especially tiresome.

[elialys]

deathandindignitybedamned replied to your post: “Thank you for submitting your story to A Teaspoon And An Open Mind....”:

....they have punctuation guidelines?

And a serious one at that! Second time in the past couple of weeks that they deny a submission of mine because I did not ‘punctuate’ my speech properly.

[natasharomanovs]

Carol Danvers Wanda Maximoff Steve Rogers

1. Wanda Maximoff2. Steve Rogers3. Carol Danverssend me three marvel characters and i will put them in order from my favorite to least favorite!

[lykegenia]

Nine people you want to get to know better

Thank you for the tag @agentnatesewell!

Last Song: I’m not a big music listener, but I do have a playlist that helps keep work boredom at bay. It’s every genre under the sun, and the most recent on it was Ends Of The Earth by Lord Huron

Currently Watching: I’m finally getting around to the Willow series. I have such fond memories of the film, and even though I’m halfway through the first season I’m not sure I like it. It’s not meant to be as gritty and serious as something like GoT but at the same time it doesn’t quite know what tone it is going for, and the dialoge is constantly brushing thr fourth wall as if this is still 2017 and meta jokes are funny. Don’t get me wrong, it’s not the worst thing I’ve ever seen, but nothing spectacular either.

Currently Reading: Since finishing Tooth and Claw by Jo Walton (think Victorian comedy of manners but with dragons) I’ve started on Master and Commander by Patrick O’Brian. Does this have something to do with the past life of a certain N Sewell? Maaaaybe. But so far it’s really good, and Stephen Maturin has leapt towards being one of my favourite characters of all time. I’m really glad I’ve already seen the film, though, because it means I can put some faces to the many, many names in the book.

Current obsession: My writing, for one - I have my Prince Alistair AU, a spicy NatexLeah oneshot, and a third, secret fic in the works -  and Planet Crafter, which is what’s actually taking up most of my free time

tagging: @deathandindignitybedamned @mutantenfisch @mysterious-cuchulainn-x @vulpixen @serenpedac @pepperpatrol @pushingsian @obi-wan-cannoli

[ofhouseadama]

deathandindignitybedamned replied to your post: I cannot believe this quarantine is throwing me...

👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀

i WILL use mackenzie mchale as a seive for my trauma and internalized shame and guilt!!!

[swiftsuburbanlegends]

deathandindignitybedamned replied to your post: Me: gonna restart my computer so I can get some...

Mine says “60 minutes of updates”

Our computers are little bitches

[forevercharmed320]

deathandindignitybedamned replied to your post “If Emily’s play really does come to New York and I get to see her in...”

Same

Now that she has said it’s a possibility I’m not gonna be able to stop thinking about it even though the summer is so far away

[felicityollies]

More from meeeee Season 5 Felicity + loneliness

Lonely Hearts Club

a/n: mean

Silence surrounded Felicity. Loneliness wrapped around her like an old friend. She’d been here before. The quiet nights in an empty apartment. Before it wasn’t so bad, the apartment was just for her. It held her things and nothing more. She pulled her green knitted blanket tighter and thought of all the memories etched into the walls around her. The months she spent with Oliver in the loft. Every inch tainted. 

The wind blew against the large windows like soft sighs. Lonely and quiet. Her chest ached. She shouldn’t miss him. Felicity was the one who ended it. It was her choice to walk out the door. It was her right to leave. He betrayed her trust. Lied to her. She would have been stupid to stay after that. But her heart ached to be by his side. 

No. She was only lonely. Loneliness makes one ache for the old times. For people who can hurt you. She wrapped herself tighter in the blanket, bringing it closer to her. She took in a deep breath. She could smell him. He didn’t wear cologne, but she could still smell him. His skin. His body wash. Just a hint, but it was enough. 

She could picture them together, curled up on the couch under that blanket, watching one of his favorite cooking shows. Felicity tossed the blanket away as if it had burned her face. She could have screamed. Why did he still have this effect on her? Why did he still hold so much of her heart? She pressed her hand into her chest and willed the hurt to stop. He had someone else now. They were moving on. He was moving on. She was… lonely.