#defendants were a [pig] mother & her 6 [pig] children

[medieval-canadian]

was NO ONE going to tell me that in the premodern era ANIMALS were regularly put on trial for shit like murder (among other things) and often convicted?????????????????????????????????????

[mejcinta]

Aegon and Aemond vs The Strongs: A Show of Loyalty.

To this day it's still strange to me that people misinterpret the dinner scene for one or another reason, misreading the words and actions of the characters using bias and/or team politics.

The episode 8 dinner scene picks up from the previous episode years ago on Driftmark when Aemond lost his eye. It is meant to show us what feelings the Greens harbor towards Rhaenyra's family years after a feud broke between them.

Throughout the dinner Aemond focuses on the Strong boys: Luke sitting across from him and Jace who failed miserably at 'turning the other cheek' and disrespected Aegon by asking Helaena for a dance.

In fact, before taking a seat Aemond is heard lamenting to Aegon about how he hates that they have to break bread with Rhaenyra's brood (I'm paraphrasing but you'll hear it before Viserys is carried into the room).

In the end, both Aemond and Aegon answer to the contempt and audacity the Strong boys showed them. The scene by all means effectively managed to show us how the brothers now work as a unit compared to when they were younger and Aemond suffered bullying on his own.

Aegon supported Aemond's derogatory toast and even tackled Luke (the boy that gouged out his brother's eye) when he tried to join Jace against Aemond.

And Aemond dealt with Jace squarely in response to the disrespect he showed Aegon and Helaena (we all know that dance was not about Helaena for Jace, but coming between a married couple that has an image to uphold and as revenge against Aegon who foolishly made a move on Baela to insult him).

From the very start of the scene it's clear that neither Aemond nor Aegon wanted to be at the dinner. They hated that the Strong boys were there and even bitched about them before Viserys arrived.

Aegon's sly behavior with Baela was a provocation he started in response to his displeasure at Rhaenyra and the Strongs being there and Viserys' wish for them to bury their differences without acknowledging Rhaenyra's wrongs. Aegon was pressing for tension to erupt at every chance he could get.

Aemond silently watched him go and did not stop him for a reason. He couldn't bring himself to rebuke Aegon's mischief, not if that meant making the Strongs upset.

He only intervened when Jace almost lost his cool on Aegon, standing up dominantly to give warning to his nephew and Aegon to a lesser extent (who eyed him knowingly).

When Helaena rose up to justifiably humiliate Aegon with her toast, (she was clearly upset about his sexual misconduct with Baela and earlier with Dyana) Aemond's reaction isn't shown.

However, when Jace stood up to ask Helaena for a dance with his eyes fixed on a scandalised Aegon (Jace had every intention here to get back at Aegon, not to be the better gentleman), Aemond took notice, meaningfully locking eyes with Aegon, but kept his cool nonetheless; whereas Aegon quietly seethed and squeezed Helaena's beetle (reportedly a gift he'd offered her before the dinner) in his hand.

Aemond monitored Helaena because he doesn't trust the Strongs with his family. And I'm sure Aegon would've done the same if he was seated in a position where he was free to watch the mother of his children in Rhaenyra's bastard's arms.

Note how he was staring at Rhaenyra while Aemond monitored Heleana and Jace.

The Targtowers clearly watch out for each other when faced with external forces, just as Alicent said they should in episode 6: "In the world we must defend our own".

When the roasted pig arrived on the table Aemond suddenly took notice of Luke giggling at him, reliving how he and Jace (and a now repentant Aegon) would make fun of him for being dragonless.

The insult was probably less about the pig to him and more about what happened because of his dragonlessness. He gained Vhagar then lost his eye in a sickening twist when the same boy laughing across at him swung a blade at his face!!!

Finally, Aemond lost his cool. He snapped and attacked the Strongs with his infamous toast.

He did not make the toast because of Jace dancing with Helaena, like some believe. He did so because of Luke who had the gall to laugh at his pain!!

Aegon readily supported Aemond because he too was itching to get back at the Strongs, particularly Jace who despite of having insulted Aegon by dancing with Helaena, could not handle the pun in Aemond's toast.

Aegon and Aemond were obviously fed up with the pretenses at that point of the dinner. From the very beginning of the dinner scene and their interaction with each other, their disgust at the Strongs and Rhaenyra was apparent. They hate that those three can get away with having a lord (Vaemond) murdered in cold blood on top of disabling Aemond without consequence!

How safe is their family? How can they trust the Strongs and Rhaenyra when punishment and death follows everyone that dares to challenge them? That is why Aegon and Aemond were evidently frustrated with Helaena and Alicent respectively at the dinner. The boys believe they know a threat when they see it while the ladies are more accomodating of Rhaenyra and the Strongs, Alicent especially believing (perhaps out of resignation) that there could be a chance at peace.

What transpires after the toast shows the factions within the Targtower family itself. Alicent and Helaena being more open and neutral, Otto wanting to maintain appearances and Aegon and Aemond being understandably doubtful and hostile.

The scene is so much more complex and informative. It shows us the relationships between the Targtowers and what their stances on Rhaenyra's party is. How they work together and how they are divided.

[lupuslikethewolf]

Wordvomit on Lucerys Velaryon

I have… many, many thoughts about all of these characters. I will now be screaming them into the void. Enjoy, maybe. Possibly. If not, I thrive of people’s disappointment in me :D

I think there are two main interpretations of Luc that people tend to see/say: Luc as either a sweet, protective, all-around angel who made mistakes he will never be able to face in fear for his life, or a bitter and vindictive little bitch who’s desire was to inflict pain on Aemond for whatever reason. I would like to say:

One thing that stays the same is that Luc, as both a child and a slightly-taller child (6/7 & 13/14), loves his family, looks up to his grandparents, especially Corlys, and wants to be the person he thinks everyone expects him to be: a perfect prince, a perfect warrior, a perfect sea-farer, a perfect son, and most importantly a perfect Valyrian. Now, whether people actually expect this of him is a completely different sorry, but it is evident in what little screentime we get of him that he is well-fucking-aware of the pressure of his station (a completely different story than his mother, tbh) and does not think himself able to live up-to that.

What happens with Aemond’s Eye is, in either interpretation, is a turning point for the character.

To start, there is this little boy with hopes and dreams and the idea of a big, happy family, with no idea yet that the actions that make him, jace and aegon laugh, hurt aemond more than they know.

He, alongside the cousins and brother he looks up to as his idea of perfect, discover that, on the night of their aunt’s/mother’s funeral, someone stole laena’s dragon! On top of that, it was the dragon ‘meant’ for rhaena! Then, out walks aemond, who then taunts them (very lightly, this is not anti young aemond) about it. In her grief, rhaena (who is too fucking young to know how to handle grief, and her father is not the best example of it in a million years) attacks what she believes to be the boy who stole her mother’s dragon. He deflects. No one is hurt.

Then Baela attacks. Then Jace. Then Rhaena again. And Luc, watching, joins in, despite being half Aemonds fucking size. Aemond is, for lack of a better word, under attack, by children at least four years his younger and emboldened by their grief.

This is the point where the characterisations start to become clear:

There is one Luc, who watches, sees that Aemond might hurt or even kill his older brother, and uses Jace’s dropped knife to defend them both, enraged by Aemond calling them bastards and by Ser Harwin’s death being mentioned in such a callous way. Later, he hides, scared of his own actions and unable to face himself because of it.

In his mind, he just tore their family apart: Aegon won’t speak to them, both Aegon and Aemond believe them to be bastards, the queen now want’s his eye and he is petrified. The actions he was once told were okay and funny are now being used against him, he is being told are bad and wrong, and he has no idea who he should be listening too, or even what the fuck just happened.

Fast forward years later, he is seeing Aemond again for the first time in nearly ten years. The first thing Aemond does? Stand around menacingly, vaguely threaten them, and wear the colours declaring war against them and their mother. Fun. And most definitely not a safe environment to bring up the incredibly traumatic event that turned Aemond into this person.

Then The Roast Pig happens at the family dinner. Luc watches Aemond, and when Aemond doesn’t outwardsly react, laughs. This… I genuinely don’t know why he does. Best guess? He thinks that, since Aemond now has a dragon and making dragon-less jokes won’t hurt him, the old jokes are funny again.

Aemond does not react how Luc thought he would, and instead insults them all, and eggs on Jace to attack him. A fight breaks out. And just like that, Luc is swiftly reminded that his family is broken, and Luc is the reason. He blames himself. Maybe it would have been different, maybe he could have fixed it, maybe there was another way.

Or, there is another Lucerys:

This Luc, instead of being driven by any urge to protect, it is instead to avenge. This Luc, who watched Aemond call them bastards to their face, attacks because he wants to. He wants this Aemond to feel that pain. He is hurt and he is angry.

This Luc, sees everything in the aftermath, and doesn’t give two shits. He called them bastards, so he deserved it. Luc watches their family get torn apart by the actions of (unsupervised) angry children and can only think that those who got hurt? They deserved it.

Then he sees Aemond after ten years, and Aemond is better than him. Despite being one-eyed, this Aemond is confident and cocky in a way Luc never could be himself and Luc hates that. This Aemond is talented and rides the biggest dragon in the world and still threatens them, makes fun of them, and openly wears the war colours of their would-be usurpers. That makes him fucking angry. Bitter. Hateful.

So when The Roast Pig happens, Luc sees the perfect opportunity to get back at this new Aemond. So he laughs, and he makes sure Aemond sees him do so. Because he wants to hurt Aemond. And he does. But Aemond can now hurth them back, and Luc wasn’t expecting that.

Then a fight breaks out, which was not a good thing, but, shit happens. Aemond got punched. The divide got deeper. Luc stands by his family.

So, in conclusion:

Luc can be a sweet boy who made terrible mistakes with no idea how to address or solve them, especially because at the time, those around him told him it was okay (i.e. the bullying and aegon, and the eye incident and rhaenyra). Luc can also be a hateful and bitter little shit who wants to hurt the man who is out to get them, for reasons it is up to the reader to interpret as either valid or not.

Either way, he most definitely is a Mama’s Boy, who loves his family in one way or another, and most definitely has self-worth and self-image issues rooted in his “bastardry” (which aemond absolutely did not help, but neither did anyone, really) and his own need to be perceived as perfect.

(Final Note: Aemond’s obsession with Luc was definitely gay. No I will not take criticism on this. Hate is not the opposite of Love, indifference is!)

[mariacallous]

Italy's outgoing government adopted a new plan for LGBTI rights before handing over the rule to a right-wing government which had promised to be socially conservative. The LGBTI strategy aims to fight discrimination at schools, hospitals, prisons, sports clubs and the workplace. It recommends LGBTI awareness courses for teachers, doctors, police officers and prison guards. Far-right leader Giorgia Meloni, expected to the next premier, said she will resist "LGBTI lobbies".

ROME, Oct 7 (Reuters) - Italy's outgoing government has adopted a new plan for LGBT rights just before handing over the reins to a right-wing administration that promises to be far more socially conservative.

"We weren't very ideological, we were very concrete," Equal Opportunities Minister Elena Bonetti told Reuters on Friday, saying the contents of the document were not controversial.

Nevertheless, they immediately jarred with prime-minister-in-waiting Giorgia Meloni and her post-fascist Brothers of Italy party, which won a Sept. 25 election partly on pledges to defend the "traditional family" and resist "LGBT lobbies".

The 30-page "National LGBT+ Strategy 2022-2025," formally approved on Oct. 6, aims to fight discrimination against lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender people in schools, universities, hospitals, prisons, sport clubs, and the workplace in general.

It recommends measures including LGBT-awareness courses for teachers, doctors, police officers and prison guards, monitoring homophobic language in the media, and adding specific anti-LGBT discrimination clauses in national labour agreements.

Isabella Rauti, Brothers of Italy's spokeswoman for equal opportunities, family affairs and "non-negotiable values", said it was wrong for a caretaker government on the way out to commit its successor to a multi-year roadmap.

"I won't comment on any of the merits, but for me it is the principle," she told Reuters.

Bonetti, a centrist from ex-premier Matteo Renzi's Italia Viva party and a former Catholic scout leader, acknowledged that whoever succeeds her in office could follow a different path.

"I hope the next government will implement what we have laid out," she said.

Meloni, who leads a bloc including Matteo Salvini's League and Silvio Berlusconi's Forza Italia party, is set to take over from outgoing Prime Minister Mario Draghi later this month. She will be Italy's first female premier.

She has ruled out rolling back existing laws on LGBT rights and abortion, but has also excluded extending them. Her party is particularly hostile to same-sex parenting and "gender fluid" ideas.

Brother of Italy's culture spokesman, Federico Mollicone, caused a stir last month when he attacked the popular children's cartoon "Peppa Pig" for showing a polar bear with two lesbian mothers in one of its episodes.

He denounced it as "gender indoctrination."

[asfaltics]

attended to his letters; a course of reducing exercises

  or did you hear commentaries [     ] over the radio? I don’t have the time to do it. You don’t have time to do it.       1 and that, of course, you don’t have time to was taught the game       2   increasing the feed for / my dope, but you don’t have time       3 You don’t have time to investigate them fully yourself? No       4   It was hard work?   — Yes, sir. You have to be fast and do the best you can. You don’t have time       5 for nearly everything; you don’t have time       6   You don’t have time to bother about your neighbors, and you don’t       7 enjoy our own com . pany , as we never have any chance to see friends around home, for you don’t have time after and before       8   And in some cases wastefully?   — Not wastefully. Does not one involve the other?   — I don’t see it in that light. A man applies for relief. You don’t have time to see that man.       9 you don’t have time to spend one hour in thinking every day to see your business in a bigger, better, and cleaner way than it is today. [     ] desk covered with papers, unfinished business, no time to see       10   the “ticket” for large swamps. You don’t have time       11 You see, when you’re on the news end of a thing like this you don’t have time to get worked up.       12   “Well,” she said, “I suppose you are so busy at the office you don’t have time.       13 you are so terribly busy that I suppose you don’t have time to feel lonesome. Why can’t girls do something like that, too?       14   “How did you like it down there?” he asked. “Well” — she paused thoughtfully — “down there you can keep busy. There’s something to do all the time; you can keep so occupied that you don’t have time to stop and think and feel.”       15 you don’t have time to think of danger” But one foggy morning not long after...       16   today. always say you don’t have time to read. ward, like a girl       17 By the time he had days. When you’re busy you don’t have time to attended to his letters.       18   a course of reducing exercises, you don’t have time to think of that. I don’t believe I’m abnormal, perhaps I am, but       19 Well, I use two formulas; saying you “don’t have time” is part of the world of citation. Saying you “have time” is part of the world of translation. I think that the questioning typical of translation has always been absent in the plastic arts.       20  

sources   ( “you don’t have time,” all but two pre-1923 )

1 ex reporters’ transcript, April 20, 1959, The People of the State of California, Plaintiff, vs. Louis Estrada Moya, et al., Defendent, being part of the Transcript of Record, Supreme Court of the United States, October Term, 1960, No. 186, Luis Estrada Moya, Petitioner, vs. California on write of certiori to the Supreme Court of the State of California (petition filed June 9, 1960; granted June 27, 1960) : 200 aside — Google misdated this 1832; 1960 was outside of my search range. A well-known case (I was too young at the time to know it). Some sources : ◾ “A mother-in-law’s murder for hire scheme results in death penalty for all three participants” at vcdistrictattorney, in which this : “What made the case unique? The hired killers testified against Mrs. Duncan without commitment [that] the District Attorney would not seek the death penalty in exchange for their testimony... In fact, all three received the death penalty and were executed. Of course, today’s appellate courts would likely reverse a case in which a defense attorney failed to seek sentencing concessions in exchange for testimony.”   ◾ Arlene Martinez, “Love, scandal and murder: Ventura County case drew national attention,” VC Star (June 29, 2013)   ◾ Alice de Sturler review of Jim Barrett his definitive Ma Duncan at Defrosting Cold Cases (October 17, 2020)   ◾ Cecelia Rasmussen, “A Mother’s Love Was the Death of Her Daughter-in-Law,” Los Angeles Times (January 20, 2002; paywall)   ◾ Joan Renner, “Dead Woman Walking: Elizabeth Ann ‘Ma’ Duncan,” parts 1-4 (2013) at Deranged LA Crimes (True 20th Century tales of murder, mayhem, political corruption, and celebrity scandal) and, finally,   ◾ wikipedia 2 OCR cross-column misread, at Annie Eliot, “John Emerson Gaines’s Love Affairs,” The Manhattan 2:5 (November 1883) : 467-475 (468) snippet view only, opens to hathitrust. Annie Eliot Trumbull (1857–1949), author of novels, short stories, and plays; associated with Hartford, Connecticut’s “Golden Age”. wikipedia 3 OCR cross-column misread at H. E. Browing on “Pig Tails,” at The Swine World (Google titles it Poland China World) 5:2 (September 1917) : 11 4 ex Statement of William E. Johnson, chief special officer, United States Indian Affairs, before Committee on Indian Affairs, re: Senate Resolution No. 263 (Washington, 1910) : 367-400 (392) an intense exchange, on sale of alcohol on reservations. William E. “Pussyfoot” Johnson (1862-1945) was an energetic and resourceful prohibitionist and law enforcement officer. (wikipedia) 5 here, Julius Baum, examined by J. R. Lamar (January 29, 1896), in Contested Election Case of Thomas E. Watson Vs. J.C.C. Black, from the Tenth Congressional District of the State of Georgia, and published in/by the U.S. Congress, Committee on Elections (Washington, 1896) : 535 aside — an episode in the dismantling of Reconstruction institutions and Black suffrage.   ◾ Thomas E(dward). Watson (1856-1922) (wikipedia).   ◾ Watson is discussed in Jo Ann Whatley, her remarkable MA thesis Pike County Blacks : the spirit of populist revolt and White tolerance (1891-1896) as depicted in the Pike County Journal and other related sources (Atlanta University, 1984), available here   ◾ Watson was succeeded by James C(onquest). C(ross). Black (1842-1928) (wikipedia). “Black was declared the winner of the election but Watson charged that the vote was fraudulent. Black agreed to resign his seat just after the opening of the 54th Congress so that a new election could be held. In the October 1895 special election, Black prevailed over Watson again, and thus took his seat back to fill the vacancy caused by his own resignation.” J.C. C. Black entry, at Biographical Directory of the United States Congress 6 ex Investigation of Hazing at U. S. Military Academy, being “Testimony taken by the Select Committee of the House of Representatives appointed to investigate and report on the alleged hazing and resulting death of Oscar L. Booz, late a cadet at the Military Academy, and upon the subject of the practice of hazing at the said academy.” (1901) : 776 7 another contested election, here Mrs. Louise Roller under cross-examination by Mr. Goldsmith, in Scholl, Charles L. Vs. Bell, Henry A. Jefferson Circuit Court (Louisville, Kentucky), Chancery Branch: First Division, Chas. L. Scholl, Plaintiff Vs. Henry A. Bell, Defendant. No. 41519. / Second Division, Arthur Peter, Plaintiff Vs. Chas. A. Wilson, Defendant, No. 41524. : “Contested election cases heard together,” Transcript of Record, Volume 8 (10 volumes in 9) : 39 (snippet only, but in full at hathitrust) 8 ex report from Washington Division (by Cert. 9730), 23:5 (May 1906) [number/month uncertain, could be June] : 712 (opens to hathitrust; found via google snippet view) 9 ex the “Poplar Inquiry,” here an examination of Mr. P. G. Miles, Relieving Officer, in Transcript of Shorthand Notes taken at the Public Inquiry held by J. S. Davy, C.B., Chief General Inspector of the Local Government Board, “into the general conditions of the Poplar Union, its pauperism, and the admnistration of the guardians and their officers.” Presented to both Houses of Parliament... (London, 1906) : 141 On the Poplar workhouse, see workhouses.org.uk (scroll down (near bottom) to “The Poplar Union Scandal and Inquiry”).   ◾ Poplar is a district in East London (wikipedia) 10 ex E. Elmo Martin (Cleveland, Ohio), “How to hand the day’s work,” in National Lime Association Proceedings (Twentieth Annual Convention, Cleveland, Ohio; June 13-16, 1922) : 68-76 (73) (snippet view; full view at hathitrust) 11 ex H. Stimmons (Stark Co., Ohio), “More about coon hounds,” Hunter-trader-trapper 25:3 (December 1912) : 87-89 (88) (snippet view at Google, but full view at hathitrust, NW second paragraph) 12 ex Wayland Wells Williams (“author and artist,” 1888-1945), The Whirligig of Time (Frederick A. Stokes, 1916) : 335 Wayland Wells Williams papers at Yale YCAL MSS 551 13 ex T.I.M., “Dimpleton Stays at Home : A Story with a Real Moral,” in Life (July 25, 1907) : 155-158 (156) 14 snippet view only, at The Cactus (Austin, Texas; 1908) : 275 A journal “published by and for the students of the University of Texas”; 1907 and 1909 (but not 1908 alas) at hathitrust. 15 “down there” being Chicago, ex Henry Oyen (1883-1921), chapter 36 of “Big Flat,” in The Country Gentleman 84: (March 8, 1919) : 20, 22, 57-59 The novel was published in 1919, same passage at p 204 (NYPL copy)   ◾ Haven't located much information about Oyen; his published work is listed at his Online Books page 16 Homer Randall. Army Boys in the French Trenches Or, Hand to Hand Fighting with the Enemy (New York: George Sully & Company, 1918) : 199 Six “Army Boys” titles were produced by the Stratemeyer Syndicate 1918-1920, all under the pseudonym Homer Randall : Army Boys in France, Army Boys in the French Trenches, Army Boys on the Firing Line, Army Boys in the Big Drive, Army Boys Marching into Germany, and Army Boys on German Soil (stratemeyer.org)   ◾ The Stratemeyer Syndicate records (1832-1984; bulk 1905-1984) are at NYPL  ◾ See also Stratemeyer pseudonyms and series books : an annotated checklist of Stratemeyer and Stratemeyer Syndicate publications / compiled and edited by Deidre Johnson (1982); Deidre Johnson, Edward Stratemeyer and the Stratemeyer Syndicate (Twayne Publishers, 1993); and wikipedia 17 OCR cross-column misread at Harriet Winton Davis, “With the Children : Don’s Knitting,” in The Congregationalist and Advance (August 29, 1918) : 241 Other (not this) issues at hathitrust 18 OCR cross-column misread (extended here), ex H. D. Morgan, Ph. C., “The Kid,” in the section Original and Selected : From the best writers, and the leading drug, medical, chemical and scientific publications of the world, in Practical Druggist and Pharmaceutical Review of Reviews (November 1908) : 529-534 19 Frank R. Adams (1883-1963), “The Heart Pirate,” (illustrations by Charles D. Mitchell), in The Cosmopolitan 72:3 (March 1922) : 43-48, 117-118 (44) — snippet view, but opens at hathitrust More — “... yell for a diet and start doing a course of reducing exercises, you don’t have time to think of that. I don’t believe I’m abnormal, perhaps I am, but just since this afternoon I have come to the conclusion that if you want to put down crime you’ve got to suppress more than just alcohol — you’ve got to suppress the modern flapper. They’re so damnably desirable...” (It gets worse...). See wikipedia; author’s papers at Oregon 20 ex Giuseppe Caccavale : in giardino, a buon fresco (content by Laura Cherubini, Giuseppe Caccavale, Chiara Bertola and Claudia Gian Ferrari; Charta, 2009) : 77

Needed another line, and thought Samuel Beckett might provide. Search yielded no Beckett, but the above passage, fitting in its way and no more nor less ambiguous than anything else here. something recent — Giuseppe Caccavale « Projet Paul Celan », Residence Concordia, Parigi gennaio-ottobre 2020; testo e foto dell’artista. (1 February 2021)  

method

A friend reminded me, recently, that I don’t have time (for what is irrelevant here). Have been ruminating on (avoiding the consequences of) this, since. And thinking too about the place dimension of time, as discussed by Veronica O’Keane in her The Rag and Bone Shop : How we make memories and memories make us (2021) — “One’s sense of time is inseparable from events, but this is a sense of time. Might time have something to do with place cells?” (107) and “The whole concept of time is generally unhelpful in understanding science, be it physics or neuroscience... From the perspective of recording events, the present is consciousness. In a seemingly ironic twist, I myself think that the only place that time does not exist is in the moment of consciousness...” (113)

The encountered lines — all included above from my search in pre-1923 sources — have found their respective though non-chronological places in a kind of rocking, panning motion, in which sediments settle into their respective ripples / couplets.

Would, could, does this — sequence — work (whatever “work” means) without the anchorings / tetherings / bibliographic wastefull(ness; line 9 above) that follow it? They were needed in the making, anyway, and for there to be sufficient distraction for the making to sustain.

all subject to change.  

[onepiecesmosthated]

Biggest Coal Getters At Christmas In One Piece

As you know from this blog, I rag on the most hated characters in One Piece. At at this merry Christmas time, I want to show you all the biggest coal getters in this series.

12.  Stelly

With being such an arrogant, self-important, entitled, and asshole brat, Sabo’s adoptive brother, Stelly, makes the first on the list on our naughty list. One has to feel sorry for the Gao kingdom for being ruled over such a spoiled king, who even thinks he can order Garp around because he’s originally from there.

11.  Wapol

 Another king on this list, but one who also is the president of his own toy company is Wapol. Like Stelly he was quite a horrible ruler when he was ruling Drum Kingdom, especially when he left the island to fend for itself when Blackbeard invaded and horded all the doctors so he could force people to pay high prices for them. Though he is currently living high now with his new kingdom gifted by the World Nobles, Santa still is going to leave a nice lump that fits his dark heart.

10. Judge

Just like with the earlier two entries, we have another asshole ruler and this one is the father of Strawhat member, Sanji. The ruler of the Germa 66, a seafaring kingdom that is notorious for conquering islands and being paid assassins, he is a social darwanist, who caused great abuse to Sanji throughout his childhood because he turned out normal. The only reason why he wanted Sanji back into his life was to cement an alliance with Big Mom by offering him as a groom for her daughter, Pudding, which turned out to be a trap because the Yonko planned to kill him and the other Vinsmokes off to get their technology. And at the wedding when the Big Mom Pirates’ true colors are showed, all that previous super macho bravado is melted away to reveal a sniveling coward who cries when someone puts him into the situation that he put others under. And for that the Germa clones will shoveling a lot of coal for a while.

9. Spandam

This guy is the poster child on why we should have anti-neoptism laws. A snively cowardly shit Spandam when he was head of the CP9 tortured Robin all the while she was under his captivity, while arrogantly believing his CP agents were untouchable. He also has little regard for human life when he accidentally triggered the buster call and didn’t care that his subordinates could die. He even called them needed sacrifices. He was also the reason why Tom, Iceburg and Franky’s mentor, was killed due to a frame up job he did in order to obtain the Pluton from him. It’s a bit karmic seeing him be forced to take orders from his former subordinate, Lucci, but even then the clumsy klutz should trip on his black pile of gifts he will get.

8. Hody Jones

Think Arlong, but with none of his few redeeming qualities. Although Hody can be said to be a product of his environment, he’s still a nasty racist shit, who should rot in the jail cell he was put in at the end of his starring arc. With his New Fishman Pirates, they planned on taking over the kingdom and go to Reverie where they planned to massarce everyone there. However, the worst thing he’s done is assassinate Queen Otohime, because she dared to try to aim to bring peace between humans and seafolk. If you think there can be a reason for his racism, then he would answer it himself: “nothing”. Nothing happened to him to make him hate humans personally he just grew up with the toxic belief that hating humans was justified. And for that Hody spends Christmas in a jail cell, while sharing it with the number of coals that can keep him and the other withered New Fishman Pirates company.

7. Mother Carmel

To the world (and to this day, Big Mom), Mother Carmel was a saintly figure who fostered peace between humans and giants plus opened up an orphanage for children of all races. However, underneath that facade lied a wicked slaver, who pretended to be a grandmotherly figure in order to sell children to the highest dollar. Her famed action of stopping the Elbaf crew from being executed was a staged event in order to gain the trust of the giants. Her most notable so-called prized asset was Charlotte Linlin (who would later become Big Mom), who to this day doesn’t know her foster mother never truly loved her and saw her as merchandise to be sold. Even though she’s a deceased character, she certainly deserves to have her stockings filled to the brim with stone, cold coal.

6. Blackbeard

Although he’s more of a love to hate example, we all know that Blackbeard deserves to be on this list. For one thing, if you want to know why the post-timeskip is chaotic as it is it’s thanks to this guy. He for years pretended to be a loyal member of Whitebeard’s crew and acted like one of the family knit setting. However, it’s all an at to get at the Yami Yami No Mi/Dark Dark Fruit. He killed one of his own brothers/crewmates, then went off to form his own crew where he fought Ace and got him handed over to the Marines, so that he could become a Warlord and get into Impel Down. There during the breakout he recruited level six members to his crew, then used them to kill his former captain and father figure Blackbeard. And postimeskip he has been shown to now be hunting down devil fruit users for his fellow crew. There is a reason why people say he’s the anti-Luffy and what a real non-romanticized pirate is like. So, I have a feeling Santa will be stopping by on Hive Island with some hefty packages that could fit his namesake.

5. Ceasar Clown

Although he’s shown as a butt monkey after his first appearance, the record of his misdeeds cannot be forgotten. On his island he kept children captive after a mole in the marines lied to their parents about them dying at sea, which he then proceeded to experiment on them with drugged candy which made them grow giant sized and shorten their live spans. All the while pretending he was actually curing them when he couldn’t give a shit. He also is notorious for making chemical weapons of mass destruction which is used by amoral individuals like the Beast Pirates. In other words, Santa strap this asshole to a big lump of coal and drown him.

4. Doflamingo

One of the most popular villians in the series is Donquixote Doflamingo, former Warlord, top broker, and King Of Dressrosa. Man, you could have a long list of all the shit he’s pulled throughout his career and life. On the outside he might look like a gaudy Elton John rip off, but on the inside bleeds one of the scariest and ruthless characters in the series. No wonder because he was born of the World Nobles, who are a sociopathic and psychotic bunch. From his take over to Dressrosa to funding Ceasar Clown’s research, he certainly can make you scared of the color pink. And that is why we have to heep this birds feathers with a black sheen.

3. Orochi

While Doffy is pretty to look at and is flamboyantly fun, Orochi just embodies “hate sink” stereotypes. He’s just made to be obvious that this guy is not going to be a good person. Spoilers ahead: I know he was influenced into becoming an asshole but he is still an asshole who sold out his country for his own benefit. Not to mention currently it was shown he was heavily implied to be the one who killed Suriyaki and lied to everyone about being named a successor with the help of that strange woman. His 20 years of terror have caused nothing but hurt to everyone under his rule as he causes a famine due to the occupying forces of the Beast Pirates. All of his because he believed he was entitled like his grandfather to be Shogun. He also wastes food, as his country is starving and feeds a whole village of hungry people failed “Smiles” so that they can quit crying about their dead loved ones. I know Santa would know of a way to get into this closed off country, so that he can deliver this shistain a coal that is as big as a mountain.

2. Kaido

Here is the man of thousand beasts and leader of the Beast pirates. Even though Blackbeard himself is no saint, he doesn’t seem to want to destroy the world like Kaido does. An unstoppable juggernaut, he sees suicide as a way to kill boredom and is often on his ass drunk. He’s ruled over Wano through Orochi for 2 decades, as he has decimated it into a famine wide place except the capitol where the rich and his toadie lives. He uses the land to function his own war effort and has caused many of the Wano people to go through great periods of grief. Like with Blackbeard, he’s an unromanticed version of what a pirate is really like. So, Kaido be prepared for Onigashima to reign coal like it’s no tomorrow.

1. World Nobles (Celestial Dragons)

By default, you know these shitty bastards would top the list. The biggest reason because of the fact that they are above the law and are allowed to do anything they like because they are so-called “gods”. They treat the general population like crap, while blatantly owning slaves when it was supposed to have been illegalized 2 centuries ago. They are also supported by a thing called heavenly tribute which country of the world government has to give continuously, lest they get kicked out and have no way of defending themselves from pirates or slave traffickers. So I can say the biggest coal getters go to these fat pigs in their towers. Better yet they should coal statues made in (dis)honor of them.

[bestleftnameless]

Untitled (continued) 2

I woke up in a bright room. I must have made too much noise while falling down the stairs because they had taken me. Once again I was infuriated for I had made another terrible mistake. It turned out I hadn't broken my neck falling down the stairs, it had really been broken from the force of them grabbing and pulling me so quickly, though I was grateful they prevented me from falling and breaking my neck. I stood up slowly picking my hat up from the ground. I realized it wasn't my hat at all, in fact, it wasn't a hat at all, in fact, there was nothing there at all. I then saw my hat a foot away and leaned over grabbing it. As I extended myself to full height I realized I wasn't the only one with a grip on the fedora. The other man looked at me with what I imagined to be as equal a look of confusion as my own. It quickly turned to anger as he snatched the hat and walked away with an angry snort. As I was about to take it back I noticed another on the ground not too far away. I decided it was too far away and gave up on it altogether.

I looked around and saw that I was in some kind of waiting room. There was a man sitting on a bench filling out paperwork using his leg propped up over the other as a makeshift table. He didn't fool me but apparently fooled himself as he stuck the gum he was chewing underneath. I turned and saw a secretary sitting at her desk. I asked her how to get out of this place and without looking up she tapped the top of her desk pointing at a blank piece of paper laminated to the desk, apparently trying to make herself feel important. I ripped the paper off the desk, spat in it, crumpled it up and threw it at her face. She reached into a file cabinet and pulled out another sheet of paper then slowly and angrily slid it across the top of the desk towards me. I grabbed the paper then sat next to the table legged man and looked it over. It was a sheet with a list of reasons I should be allowed to leave having boxes to check next to each one. Also at the bottom was a larger box with lines in it for me to write some sort of essay on why I should be let out. Not really being a big fan of essays I walked out of the door marked exit.

I looked back at the building once far enough away and saw an old neon sign reading "death" with a flickering "j". I turned around leaving the building to the left of me and continued on my way. I walked by a man that was standing tall, asserting that where he stood was his territory. Though I tried to stay out of his imaginary circle, I must've stepped on the edge for he took a step toward me and puffed out his chest. Not one to back down from a challenge I ran away but when he chased me he forfeited the rights to his circle and so I took it as my own. It didn't fit in my pocket though, so I left it where it was, hoping it would provide a small meal for some rats. I first made it clear to them, however, that the rent was due on the first as to avoid any future conflicts.

Before the rats, I had another patron. He was wearing a black cloak and wore it wrapped completely around himself including the head. He held it closed with his hand which was all I could see of his body. I noticed his hand was missing a finger and it reminded me of the time I lost one of mine. A long time ago I had a fight with "the great ruler of the land", Lord BomVoZwich (pronounced prudence). I was a swordsman at the time and defender of a nation after taking a 6 hour course. He personally challenged me to combat face to face by sending one of his minions to formally invite me to a battle. Never one to refuse a fight I said no. I knew how high the stakes were but accepted anyway because this was only a twice in a lifetime opportunity and if I didn't do it now I would never have a sicond chance, because sicond isn't a word.

I arrived at his castle and took a number at the front desk then sat waiting. I was number 37 and the current number on the projector was 36 1/2. I refused to wait for such a ridiculously long period of time and called for him to come out of hiding and fight me. He refused and so I had to reschedule the appointment. The next day when I returned to the castle he stood there waiting for me, him being the doorman waiting to let me in. I tipped 15% and ran up a spiral staircase to face off against his majesty but had arrived early so I instead waited there leaning on my sword. When Lord BomVoZwich finally arrived he explained that he had trouble with the doorman not letting him in because he wasn't on the list. He apologized for the inconvenience then switched to his battle position. Neither of us wanted to attack first because the person that did would get suspended from school a day longer than the other and I couldn't risk it. He taunted me by saying how he was going to get my lock mandarin pie recipe and I taunted him by calling him by his first name, "Bernard". Neither of us got very worked up but eventually I initiated the fight by complimenting his hair.

 We began swinging at each other. I wondered why my attacks were so ineffective until I realized I wasn't using my sword. I grabbed it just in time to turn around and slice his head clean off, him being one of Bernard's minions. I was distraught because we had a poker game planned that weekend and now I had nothing to do. Bernard took advantage of my distraction and leapt at me. I was barely able to dodge in time but had my pinky finger cut off. He stumbled upon landing, then while catching himself slipped on my finger and impaled himself on his blade. From that day on I gave up on being a swordsman and promised myself I would never fight again. Though I knew I was lying because I refused to look myself in the eye so I gave up on giving up.

 After successfully pawning the circle for much less than it was worth I continued on my journey. I suddenly felt a burst of energy which most likely resulted from the coffee I had declined to drink earlier that day and began sprinting at 3 miles an hour. Feeling half priced as a bird I lost focus and walked a red light, which was the smart thing to do as the bases were loaded and he was a homerun hitter. Normally I would go back and apologize to his mother only for her to tell me she's not the one I need to apologize to, but I'm not normal so I continued running until colliding with a man in slow motion which triggered an altercation. After the camera circled us twice and a disembodied voice yelled ‘Go!’ as his words flashed across the screen, I was disheartened to see I was starting the fight with only half of my health bar remaining.

 I wondered what I could have done recently to lose half a health bar then remembered the bathroom break earlier in which there was much toilet roll squeezing and wall slapping resulting in me getting punched 20 feet for watching a man go about his business. While I was spaced out, the opponent had already attacked me leaving me with only a sliver of health left while in his bar you could still see his entire name. After seeing his name I laughed because he had the weirdest name imaginable, "John". He quit the match because apparently I hurt his little girl feelings, no offense to little girls out there (as if saying that makes a difference). No offense to anyone for that matter, except for wasps. Nobody likes wasps.

 As I watched the man leave with such speed smoke trailed off the ground behind him I thought to myself that this man is horrible for the environment, and did nothing about it. I did however, go to the local diner and order the first woman I saw to make me a sandwich. I wouldn't call me a sexist pig just yet as I only did because the lady was a waitress. Please, I was raised better than that, and after all I am a lady. At least I would hope so, after all, the rest rooms I use do only have stalls, but I am often kicked out and called a pervert.

 On the way I ran into a man named unbinchin. He didn't seem like a bad guy but once again I felt there was something off about him just like the man before, my worst fears were confirmed when I saw his jacket lying on the ground. I would have helped him pick it up but this isn't a charity. Upon having this thought, I realized that nearby there was a charity for rolling children down stairs in folded up boxes. Unsurprisingly they had a huge 2 stair out front and also a ramp. I ran up the stairs 4 at a time until clipping the front of one of my shoes near the top causing me to fall professionally. I base that description off of what I overheard one man say shortly afterward to his friend when he stated that I fell like it was my job. Excited at the thought of a promising new career I ran off to apply.

[timomaraus]

January 13, 2021

The Week GOP leaders reportedly want to ‘bury’ Trump but avoid ‘making him Jesus’ (Editor’s Note: If Jesus is ever inclined to rain down lightning bolts on anyone, the first choice might be the person who came up with this analogy.)

CNN A warty pig painted on a cave all 45,500 years ago is the world’s oldest depiction of an animal (Editor’s Note: So, you’re a caveperson. You are about to blow the minds of all of your fellow cavepeople with the amazing, first-ever depiction of a creature of the earth on the wall of your cave. And the best you can come up with is a warty pig?)

CNN This Keurig-like machine for soft serve ice cream is what the world needs (Editor’s Note: Only if the world is interested in marching even more quickly toward a 100% diabetic population.)

CNN 6-foot megalodon shark babies were cannibals in the womb, study says (Editor’s Note: This makes sense if you think about it. Multiple 6-foot babies? I mean, there’s only so much room in the womb!)

Washington Post ’The House of Trump is unraveling’ (Editor’s Note: It’s going to be really messy. For one thing, there’ll be all the hair to clean up.)

Washington Post Growing evidence shows Facebook played larger role in riot than it claimed (Editor’s Note: Well, I don’t think Facebook had much of a claim to anything good here.)

Washington Post America’s role as defender of democracy threatened (Editor’s Note: If you want to get to the really important story, just remove the words “role as defender of” from this headline.)

Washington Post Republicans eager to subvert the 2020 election last week now insist the time has come for unity (Editor’s Note: Incite the unrest, then call for unity. Create huge deficits with tax breaks for the wealthy, then call for austerity. You see how the Republican playbook works over and over?)

Washington Post Biden expected to include new child benefit in major new stimulus proposal (Editor’s Note: Why is it that only new children get the benefit? What about that 6-year-old who really needs it?)

Washington Post Dollar General will pay workers to get the coronavirus vaccine (Editor’s Note: How much? In general, about a dollar.)

Washington Post A mother-in-law stays in a hotel because of her son’s comments (Editor’s Note: You know, a son says one little thing—“I’m Covid-positive”—and the mother-in-law has to get so worked up about it. Sheesh.)

[fangirlfanwritings]

Oberyn Martell!Daughter

I hope you get better soon! <3 But I have a request, I'm sorry :( I want a Jon Snow/F!Reader, where she was raised by Oberyn Martell after she escaped from home ('cause she didn't want to get married, she wanted to be a knight or something like that), so he taught her how to fight, and she kind of become like a fem!version of him(a mix of sassy and baddass). When he died she decided she wanted to be useful and went to the wall, and then you continue from it <3 Sorry for the long request :(

You were 12 years old, sitting at another boring dinner as your parents entertained another Lord and Lady from a House a fews days ride away from yours. Yet again one of their son’s were placed at the seat across from you. Over the last month or two many sons had sitting in that seat; some almost double your age, some half your age, and others all in between.

This Lord was the 16 year old Howar from house Vallie, one of the lesser from the Vale. You watched and sat straight as he slouched and played with his food as your parents spoke to each other. As they night passed by and everyone retired to their chambers you were greeted with a knock at your door.

“Come in,” you called and in walked your parents.

“We have something to discuss with you Y/N,” your Mother sat near you while your Father still stood. He continued, “We talked with Lord and Lady Vallie after supper concluded. They have made many promises that would great for our House.”

“Promises like what?”

“Sharing of their crops, an alliance should we ever need their bannermen, things like that.”

“But in order for our House to make this alliance you will be marrying Howar,” your Mother’s face was stone as she told you.

“You want me to marry Howar?” They nodded their heads. “And if I refuse?”

“You do not refuse,” you Father spoke harshly. “You are my daughter, not the Queen. You will do as you’re told.”

“I do not want to marry him! He is 4 years older than me, is a ungentlemanly pig, and he didn’t even hold an interest towards me,” you fought.

“You will learn to love Howar. And if you don’t you can find love in the children you will give him,” your Father shouted. “You will marry Howar. You will bare his children. And you will do whatever is needed to provide for your family!”

“That’s it? You’re selling me off like cattle? I don’t want to be a simple wife and mother. I want to be a warrior. I want to be able to fight with my men. Let me bare children when I’m older not before I’ve gotten the chance to live.”

“That is enough,” his harsh voice rang out. “You will wake up tomorrow, greet your future husband and his family, and tell them you look forward to your future together. Then, in a couple months, you will wed and move to their home.” With that your parents left you alone and in shock.

“I will not let this happen,” you whispered to yourself and filled a small duffle with everything you could. You snuck downstairs in the middle of the night, duffle in hand, and went to your Father’s office. You knew he kept a pouch of gold hidden in his office and unloaded it into your stachel. You made one last stop, grabbing the sword that had been your grandfather’s, something you had always loved, before getting on your horse and leaving the dark castle and your family behind you.

You had always been interested in Dorne once you learned of it in your lessons. They loved who they loved, they treated women with respect, and their women were allowed to fight like any man. That’s how you found yourself landing in Dorne.

You walked around the strange new city, trying to figure out where to go. And by the fate of the Gods you ran into Prince Oberyn Martell.

*6 years later*

The news of your Father’s death rocked you too your core. Not the Father who had treated you like a possession, but the man who you treated as your real Father, Oberyn. Your world felt mute and you did what you had done years ago. You packed a bag, grabbed your sword, and took enough gold to get you to your destination.

In the time you had spent with Oberyn you became his daughter. He treated you like his own, you grew up with sisters and a loving Mother, and he taught you how to defend yourself, and you took his last name. You owed your life to him and the thing he always said rang through your head. “Don’t let anyone tell you how to live your life.”

******

The cold wind that ripped through you sent a shiver down your spine. You were not used to this weather at all. You wrapped the furs closer to your body and watched as the white wall grew closer and closer and larger and larger.

As you got in front of the gate the men from above called out. “What’s your name and purpose?”

“I am Y/N Martell. Daughter of Prince Oberyn Martell. I’m here to join the Night’s Watch.”

[athomewrebecka]

Team At Home with Rebecka – Rebecka Evans & Lisa Keys

It’s taken me five weeks to process my experiences at the 2018 World Food Championships, and figure out how to wrap the entire adventure into just one blog post. I’m going to try to accomplish that goal – so hold on tight, it was a wild and crazy ride. 

Returning To Defend My Title:

Returning to WFC 2018 as the reigning Bacon World Champion came with a new kind of pressure that I’ve never felt in Food Sport before. I was ready to take on the challenge of defending my 2017 Bacon World Title with an eager, exhilarating attitude , but I was also filled with apprehension and a weird sense of dread.  Winning the same category two years in a row has only been achieved twice in WFC history; twice by Suzanne Clark in the Pasta Category (which has since been retired), and twice by Liz Kratz in the Chili Category. The pressure to repeat a win is real, and going for a three-peat escalates the entire event to a whole new level. 

Contest induced insomnia began the moment I opened my WFC test kitchen. Instead of counting sheep to sleep, I spent most nights visualizing possible recipe creations that I could test the following day. I made dozens of recipes over the course of three months, and finally landed on a few concepts that needed a lot of work to become Top Ten worthy dishes. The sleepless nights and the never-ending task of developing recipes displays a brutally honest truth: the process of determining what a ten thousand dollar bacon recipe is an arduous process and not for the faint of heart. 

My Team:

To stand any chance at another victory, I knew I had to have a seasoned food sport enthusiast on the At Home with Rebecka team. When I learned that my friend Lisa Keys had decided to take a year off from competing at World Food Championships, I jumped at the chance to ask her to be my sous chef, and thank God she agreed.  I soon learned that Lisa and I had mind reading capabilities during the months that preceded WFC 2018. Together, we are a force to be reckoned with. 

Who is Lisa Keys?

Sea World Orlando 2015

I met Lisa for the first time in 2015 at the First Annual – World Food Blogger Summit, held in Orlando, Florida. I was drawn to her sweet disposition and kind smile. We shared a seat on the bus to Sea World and talked like we’d known one another our entire lives. I learned that Lisa is an award winning food competitor, recipe creator, photographer, mother of two children (William and Caitlin), and wife to Bill Keys. She is also the owner and writer of Good Grief Cook. If you have not read her blog then I encourage you to take the time to get to know Lisa, and learn about her journey of loss, love, and her passion for cooking.

(You can access her works here: goodgriefcook.com Click HERE )

Lisa is also a Food Network CHOPPED CHAMPION (5/6/2014), a certified Food Champ, and a credentialed Steak Competition Association judge. Last but not least, Lisa is a grandmother, “Kiki,” to her beautiful granddaughter Annabelle. 

Lisa’s resume is pretty darned impressive and her heart is made of gold. I love her like a sister, and feel a kindred connection like that of Anne Shirley’s bosom friend and kindred spirit Diana Barry (Anne of Green Gables by Lucy Maud Montgomery). Lisa is my forever faithful friend. Thank you so much Lisa Keys for your brilliant mind, attention to detail, and award winning skills in the kitchen. I am honored by your willingness to take on the task of sous chef, and even more honored to call you my friend. 

Blake my sous chef for  Fight To Feed –  Culinary Fight Club 2016

Rounding out Team At Home with Rebecka, my third team member and my sweet husband, Blake Evans. I call him my “Super Schlepper” and “Financier” since he is the man with the muscles and the money.

Blake schlepped all of our suitcases up and down the stairs several times, drove us to do all the contest grocery shopping, hung out with all my foodie pals, and listened to all the crazy WFC talk. My husband had no issue socializing, as he chatted up the VIP’s and connected with everyone we encountered.

Blake literally saved our bacon by running back to our condo twice during the Top Ten Round to get items we couldn’t find while competing. I’m the luckiest girl in the world to have my sweet man by my side with his big booming laugh, love, and support. Thanks babe for being my faithful, loving husband, and supporting me in my food sport addiction.

The sous chef apron looks good on you by the way! xoxo

My goal for WFC 2018:

This year my goal was to win of course, but in the event that a repeat Bacon Category victory was not meant to be, my real hope was just to make Top Ten. Praise the Lord, after the preliminary round we made Top Ten finishing 4th in the category.  

Recipe Creation:

All WFC contestants are required to make a Structured Build recipe to “level the playing field” between professional chefs and home cooks.  This year, Bacon Category contestants were required to make bacon pizza, utilizing a required sponsor ingredient: Red Gold Tomatoes.  Competitors also presented a Signature Dish that showcases bacon as the star of the dish.

(To read the WFC Official Rules CLICK HERE)

After months of recipe creation and hundreds of changes, sleepless nights, a few tears, and the desire to throw my recipes across the room, I was extremely pleased with the final dishes. Lisa talked me off the ledge several times, and I returned the favor once or twice. I must reiterate, competitive Food Sport is an arduous process and not for the faint of heart. To fully grasp the enormity of recipe creation and contest preparation, a person must live the experience. 

Structure Dish: BLT (Bacon, Lobster and Tomato Pizza) Food by Rebecka Evans Photo by Angela Castelli

My Bacon Lobster Pizza is the most delicious pizza I’ve ever made or eaten! The smokey flavor of  Kountry Boy’s thick cut bacon is the perfect compliment to my Bacon Blush Alfredo Sauce. The sauce is made with a combination of bacon, Red Gold Tomatoes with Green Chili’s, Red Gold Petite diced tomatoes, fresh garlic, and Fiesta Italian Seasoning. These ingredients are then blended with my signature Alfredo sauce to create a luscious Bacon Blush Alfredo that pairs perfectly with fresh lobster meat. The crust is from my sponsors, Center Court Pizza and Brew, located in my hometown of Pearland, Texas. The pizza was grilled on Bull Outdoor Products (​Steer Premium Cart Grill​), with fresh grated asiago and fontina cheese, garnished with a ring of fresh herbed bacon. Dressed to impress, the head and tail of the lobster greeted the judges, as well as eight beautifully cooked bacon legs. The pizza scored a 95.75. 

BLT (Bacon Lobster Tomato Pizza)

Signature Dish – BLT (Bacon, Lemon, and Tomato) Cupcakes – Round One

I was determined to bake a cupcake for World Food Championships 2018, testing at least eleven versions before landing on the final recipe. You see, I’ve been on a baking journey the past few months not only to push myself outside my comfort zone, but to prove to myself and the world that I could create an award winning bacon cupcake.

In all honestly, this cupcake was a true labor of love and a little hate too. The recipe underwent numerous changes, and was scrapped from my WFC roster not once, but twice before its final version. Although my husband and sous chef were not fans at first, I think I won them both over in the end. The judges must have liked it too because it finished 7th in the world with a score of 91.2853. 

I love everything about this cupcake. The cake is super moist with a hint of lemon zest and mashed Red Gold Tomatoes with green chili’s; with the final touches of sugared bacon dust being folded in right before baking. Red Gold Tomatoes with Green Chili’s also find their way into the bacon tomato jam that is spread over the cupcake after cooling. The sweet and spicy jam tastes like heaven, and is so good that I can hardly resist the temptation of eating it right from the spoon. I added red pepper flakes for a slightly spicy finish, and topped it all off with delicious tomato infused butter cream frosting. It may sounds like a crazy concoction, but it is slap yo momma good!

BLT Cupcake-Official Description: 

BLT Cupcake aka Bacon, lemon and tomato cupcake starts with a vanilla crumb cake laced with a hint of lemon zest and sugared bacon dust. The cake is topped with a savory-sweet tomato, bacon jam and then frosted with a swirl of vanilla and tomato butter cream, dressed with a bacon swizzle stick dipped in white chocolate and sparkling sugar.

The Progression of an Award Winning Cupcake:

As you can see, I take recipe creation very seriously! Scroll over the photos to see descriptions. 

#1 The original idea: Bourbon Bacon with Vanilla filing and Cream Cheese Frosting

#2 Chocolate cupcake with cookie dough frosting and Candy Chocolate Bacon

#3 Candy chocolate bacon bow

#4 A hot mess!

#5 Chocolate cupcake with butter cream frosting and candy bacon

#6 Vanilla cupcake with sugar bacon, bacon jam, and tomato buttercream frosting

#7 Vanilla cupcake with bacon sugar, bacon jam. tomato butter cream frosting and bacon swizzle

#8 Cupcakes on a Pig on a plate

#9 Cupcakes on a pig plate with chocolate and tomato butter cream swirl

#10 Spiky tomato and bacon buttercream

#11 Almost there, Vanilla bacon cupcake with bacon jam, tomato-bacon swirl buttercream frosting

#12 Plating ideas and more frosting practice

#13 Almost perfect

#14 The final version 7th in the World

Top Ten on Natureware Plates

Choosing a Recipe for Top Ten: 

So how do you choose a recipe to take to the Top Ten Challenge? Any decision I make could be the difference between a 10K win and last place. These are the two big questions that made my brain hurt the night I found out I would compete in Bacon Top Ten.

Do I make my third recipe and hope for the best?

Should I make my Structure Build or Signature Dish?

At first, my plan was to go into Top Ten with my pizza, but I wanted to see my scores for both dishes before deciding. I also had a third recipe waiting in the wings just in case I wanted to call an audible and be creative. Making a decision was hard, especially when considering the scores of my recipes. As you can see in the scores below, I went into Top Ten in 4th Place.

Both of my recipes scored well, with the pizza scoring slightly higher than the cupcake. This is where you can lose your mind second guessing the decision. For better or worse, I decided to make the cupcake and the rest is history. I didn’t win first place with the cupcake, however I managed to place 7th in the world as one of only two home cooks that made Top Ten this year. Thank the Lord for my sweet friend and sous chef Lisa Keys, as she stood by my side while I went crazy over making the decision to compete with the cupcake.  I couldn’t have done it without her expert baking skills and world-class professionalism.

The stress of defending my Bacon World Title, and the decision to make my cupcake and not my pizza or third recipe really got to my psyche. Not to mention, everything that could go wrong in the Top Ten Round did. I burned every piece of bacon I cooked so had to re-make new batches, and with just 6 minutes to spare before the turn in window closed, we couldn’t find the red dye for the tomato butter cream frosting. This is when my husband Blake saved our bacon by running back to the condo to find the red dye. Thankfully, I purchased two bottles and one was in the condo. The other had fallen under a mixing bowl by our station where it stayed until clean up. 

Official Scores:

 A side note: Top Ten Bacon competitors were required to use Natural Tableware USA plates for presentation and Bacon Sponsors Indiana Kitchen Bacon. I think we did a pretty good job of showcasing the cupcakes on the required plate ware. 

BLT (Bacon, Lemon, and Tomato) Cupcake Top Ten Round

Sponsors:

Special thanks to my personal sponsors Kountry Boys Sausage for providing me with delicious Kountry Boy’s Bacon and Center Court Pizza and Brew for their delicious pizza dough. I’d also like to thank the World Food Championships Staff, MMA Creative, Mike McCloud, Walmart, Red Gold Tomatoes, and Ankarsrum USA. 

Walmart and World Food Championships

Kountry Boy’s Sausage

Red Gold Tomatoes

Natural Tableware USA

Ankarsrum USA

Center Court Pizza and Brew

Familiar Faces:

World Food Championships wouldn’t be the same without my foodie family, some familiar faces and new foodie friends alike. Sadly, I was so busy this year that I missed getting hugs and photos ops with everyone. Hugs, laughter and more Food Sport fun will have to be had at WFC 2019. I love you all and can’t wait until next year to see you. 

  I couldn’t do it: 

I tried my best to pack all the 2018 World Food Championships events into one post but it’s just not possible since this post is already way too long! Stay tuned for more WFC Recap in the weeks to come. TBA

WFC 2018 Yacht Club Progressive Dinner

The Second Annual Grand Throwdown

Ava Marie Romero, my friend

See you all soon! RE

World Food Championships 2018 Recap It's taken me five weeks to process my experiences at the 2018 World Food Championships, and figure out how to wrap the entire adventure into just one blog post.

[meanwhileinoz]

10+ Disturbing Secrets In Disney Movies That They Don’t Want You To See

Disney has created an empire with their adaptations.

They have a series of Easter eggs and hints, some of them being very controversial and the others just being something worth laughing over. Eagle eyed fans notice these things and bring them They get around the internet thoroughly, so we created a list of things that’ll show you a different side of Disney.

#1 What’s the deal with all those dead moms?

There are countless missing mothers in the Disney movies. Whether dead or just plain gone, they include Beauty and the Beast, Aladdin, Pocahontas, Cinderella, Bambi, The Fox and the Hound, and Finding Nemo are just a few of them.

That’s probably because Walt Disney’s own mother died in a horrible accident right after he bought her a house from the money he made with Snow White. The furnace was faulty, and leaked, and caused Flora Call Disney to asphyxiate. Walt Disney blamed himself.

#2 The Shining is in Toy Story. 

The floor in Sid’s house is remarkably similiar to the flooring of the Overlook Hotel. There’s also the fact that the number 237 is referenced multiple times throughout the movie, which is also the same number in the hotel that caused so many problems.

The director is also a professed lover of Stephen King, so it’s most likely intentional.

#3 The big bad wolf isn’t what the three pigs should be afraid of.

When the three little pigs went to the brick house to stay away from the big bad wolf, they’re seen celebrating. This happened in the 1932 short film called The Three Little Pigs.

In the background, you can see that it wasn’t the big bad wolf that took their father, it was the humans. In another, you can see Mother Pig nursing seven piglets, which means that four of them went to the slaughterhouse early.

#4 Call a sex line.

In the movie The Santa Claus, there’s a dialogue where Tim Allen jokes about “1-800-SPANK-ME? I know that number.”

Turns out, that line is an operational sex line that charges by the minute and a whole bunch of curious children ended up calling them. They changed the line to 1-800-POUND on the DVD releases and the television airings but didn’t recall the VHS tapes because it “would actually do more harm than good” and draw “more attention to the matter.”

#5 Gaston sees Death

In Beauty And The Beast, Gaston tries to kill Belle’s captor-turned-hero after chanting “Kill the beast!” Many, like myself, were looking forward to seeing him finally die, and when Beast spares him, Gaston lunges back. Upon reflex, Belle’s true hero pushes back, and falls off a cliff.

In a closeup of his eyes, you can see Death’s skulls flashing in his irises. This was deleted in the VHS version, but you can still see it in the DVD version.

#6 Aladdin tells children to take off their clothes.

A lot of people got up in arms about a dialogue in Aladdin when he was trying to convince Princess Jasmine to marry him. Her tiger, Raja, didn’t like Prince Ali in the least, and was defending Jasmine. Aladdin said “C’mon, good kitty, take off and go,” but a lot of people heard “Good teenagers take off their clothes.”

The voice actor has denied this to be true on numerous occasions, but you can’t help but hear it once it’s pointed out to you.

#7 The, uh… d*ckhead.

There’s a scene in Hercules where they save the damsel in distress, Meg from the River Guardian. In the tussle between him and the demigod, the Guardian gets hit in the forehead with one of his own horseshoes. The bump he gets is very, very phallic and the eye brows look distinctly like balls.

You can draw your own conclusions.

#8 Scar turns into a rug.

In the beginning of The Lion King, Zazu said to Mufasa that Scar would “make a very handsome throw rug.”

And in the movie, Hercules, you see that he wears a pelt that looks startlingly like someone familiar. He even throws it on the floor like a rug, and that happened three years after the movie, and the prediction of Lion King.

#9 Elsa and Anna’s parents.

In the hit movie, Frozen, the parents of the princesses go off to sea only never to return. It’s grim and morbid, because death by drowning is one of the worst ways to go. However, there’s this theory that in The Little Mermaid, Ariel explores their sunken ship. And how Eugene and Rapunzel from Tangled make a small cameo, the parents might have gone off to attend their wedding.

#10 The sex dust in Lion King

When The Lion King was released, there was a small scene where Simba falls down and dust bursts up onto the screen for a few frames. A conservative group called the American Life League said the dust spelled out the word “SEX”.

One of the movie’s animators said that was ridiculous and that it spells out “SFX” and in, special effects. Besides, putting in the word sex for a few frames is pretty lame.

#11 The naked woman in The Rescuers

22 years after the movie The Rescuers was released, Disney, in 1999 made a surprise announcement where they were going to recall 3.4 million copies of the movie. Apparently, sometime between the film getting completed and distributed, someone spliced in an image of a topless woman between two frames. It wasn’t noticeable in VHS, but on DVD it was.

#12 Jessica Rabbit didn’t wear underwear.

There’s a scene in Who Framed Roger Rabbit? involving Jessica Rabbit. When she and Eddie Valiant get into a car accident, they are thrown from their cabs and for a frame or two, you can see up Jessica’s legs and it would seem that the animators decided to skip drawing any underwear. Or anything at all. Much like the Rescuers, this was fixed in the DVD version.

#13 The Little Mermaid genital controversy.

Despite not having any human bits, The Little Mermaid attracted a lot of attention because of different genital-like innuendos. When Ursula tricks Eric into marrying her, the minister that officiated the wedding looked like he had an erection. Animators said that was just his knee, but that’s not the only thing that happened.

The VHS tapes were also recalled because the cover art apparently included a male genital like spire. While the minister remained in the movie, the cover art is now just a collector’s item.

#14 The rampart racism in Disney movies.

In Dumbo, a murder of crows make racist remarks against the baby elephant. And many have seen this to be racist in itself because the crows look like they’re supposed to be a parody of black people.

In Fantasia, characters designed after African-Americans have the role of slaves during Beethoven’s Pastoral Symphony scene. The slaves, Sunflower and Otika serve centaurs and other Greek myth creatures.

In Peter Pan, Tiger Lily and her people speak in broken English and act ridiculously wild, to make fun of Native Americans. They’re even referred to as ‘savages’.

In Lady and the Tramp, evil Siamese cats speak in thick Asian accents riddled with many other offensive Asian stereotypes.

#15 Finally, a movie so racist it didn’t even get a DVD release.

Even though the movie Song of the South might not ring many bells, their hit song “Zip-a-Dee-Doo-Dah,” might. This movie was so torridly racist and offensive, that one critic calls “one of Hollywood’s most resiliently offensive racist texts.”

Source

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[fonesy]

How To Look Cool In A Record Store

1.) Most record stores will make you check your backpack or purse at the door to prevent theft. Bring a duffle bag filled with as many copies of “Walk Among Us” by the Misfits as it takes to fill up a duffle bag. Keep it unzipped so when you hoist it onto the counter a couple copies fall out and the clerk has to try and cram them back in. Look over the rim of your aviators (you should be wearing aviators) and tell them, “Just so there’s no confusion later, I brought these bad boys from home.” Don’t wait for them to respond, they will be too impressed to anyway.

2.) Reading isn’t cool at all. Pretend you can’t read any of the section signs or any of the album titles or anything. Make a big show of locating the new releases section by smell.

3.) Pick up a copy of a Led Zeppelin album and say, “more like overra-ted Zeppelin” loud enough that everyone in the store can hear you. Do it more than once.

4.) Find every vinyl you can with a naked lady on the cover and fan them out onto the floor and stand over them, nodding your head. Make a lot of noises like, “MMMHM,” and “YESSIREE” and if you can, maybe have a big ol’ boner to let people know you can really appreciate that sort of thing.

5.) Make a big show of moving every Beatles album into the Children’s section. If anyone tries to stop you, wink at them with alternating eyes until they get it.

6.) There’s nothing cooler than being above stuff. Hover approximately two (2) feet above the ground at all times. If you can’t levitate yourself on command yet, the following are acceptable substitutes: Stilts, Tall Bikes, Standing On Someone’s Shoulders Under An Oversized Trench Coat Like The Little Rascals, and Constantly Jumping.

7.) Buy something and return it immediately so the sales staff knows you’re not fucking around. Do this a few times. End each transaction by clarifying, “I am not fucking around.”

8.) What is EDM music? I don’t know, but it sounds pretty cool, right?

9.) Steal an album. Just fucking take it. Make a big show of sticking it under your shirt so that when you leave the clerk will go, “Hey, you can’t steal that.” Tell him he’s mistaken, that music is a fluid universal construct built on personal and individual experience belonging to the people and so technically you’re not stealing anything that may or may not already belong to you. When he continues to demand you pay for the merchandise, ask him if he’d demand someone pay for a sunset or a child’s laugh. Ask him how much he’d charge for the scent of a lover’s perfume lingering in the air after the first time you made love. Ask him what the store’s return policy is on the first time you saw your father cry. At this point he’ll be getting angry and threatening to call the police, tell him they won’t set him free. Tell him he sells remnants of an outdated world, the last dying gasp of a capitalist approach to art, and that he and his merchants of cool will become entombed in mausoleums built on the fundamental flaws of materialistic desire. At this point the cops will arrive and tell you to put down the album or you’ll be arrested. Spit at them with contempt. Tell them they don’t get to suddenly start fighting to preserve the value and worth of creativity, tell them they forfeited the right to defend artistic expression the day they pinned on a badge that represents the absolute antithesis of independent thought. Tell them they don’t exist to protect art, tell them art exists to protect them. Every song, every lyric, every arrangement, every composition is created and enjoyed in direct defiance of what they’ve chosen to align with, and as sure as trumpets brought down Jericho’s walls, there will come a day where they find themselves undone by aural radicalism. At this point the clerk will be moved by your words and remember the way music used to make him feel. He’ll tell the police to leave, that he made a mistake by calling, but they’ll tell him it’s too late, the law’s the law, and you respond by softly replying, “the only law is empathy, pigs” and then you begin to sing ‘Home On The Range.’ One of the officers will begin to cry, because this is the song his mother used to soothe him with as a young boy in his bed, afraid of the dark. He’ll remember the last time he saw her, how proud she was of him, and fall to his knees, crying out, “I was so afraid of the dark I became a puppet of the dark. The values we protect are not our own, our mothers have stopped comforting us!” He’ll pull out his gun and shove it in his mouth, desperate to forget how far he’s strayed from her pride, and when he does you must lean in and whisper, “When the comforters have gone, the burden is on you to take their place, and brother, this is no great burden. Sing a song to a frightened world, rub their backs and assure them everything will be okay. They need you now, more than ever.” He’ll take the gun out of his mouth and the power of your words will have turned it into ash in his hand. Smile knowingly at the gathered crowd (because by now everyone in the store and everyone on the street will be surrounding the counter) and begin to leave. Before you go, the clerk who called the cops will impulsively blurt out, “Wait! What was the album you were stealing? We must know what musical recording could inspire such a shared cosmic shift in out collective humanity. Please, we beg you!” and the crowd will chime in as one, “YES, YES, PLEASE, WE BEG YOU!” And at this point you will slowly, deliberately pull the album out from under your shirt, revealing the cover bares the clerk’s own face, eyes filled with tears and wonder. The title, in simple black text, reads: TODAY YOU ARE FREE. You set it on the counter and whisper, “You should listen to this one. It’s a new release, but I think it’ll be a classic someday.” And then you walk out, into the night, never to be seen again.

10.) Wear a Thin Lizzy t-shirt or something. They’re pretty cool.