#but the baby pigs were pardoned

[medieval-canadian]

was NO ONE going to tell me that in the premodern era ANIMALS were regularly put on trial for shit like murder (among other things) and often convicted?????????????????????????????????????

[evansbby]

My hatred of Owen is unreal because I never knew I could hate a character THAT MUCH. Because this ginger knew damn well Christina didn’t want any kids, yet he still tried to push it on her. Like??? Pardon me? And that scene was absolutely heartbreaking. The way he embarrassed her like that in front of so many people is honestly disgusting🤡 and then he had the nerve to cheat????!!! Like what???!?!? AND he choked her?? Like girl, get tf out😭😭 first fucking red flag. Christina was so much better than him anyway, she deserved the world. And honestly. And yeah Sandra Oh is honestly such a good actress bc the way I felt every single emotion through the fucking screen shows how good of actress she is. Was so sad she left, wasn’t the same without her tbh😖

Christina and Burke >>> Christina and ginger

NO FRRRR (pardon my lack of emojis, i'm on my laptop!)

cristina should've left his ass the moment he CHOKED her like??? and honestly he had so many other red flags. like for example in his early days, when he brought in all those live pigs and stabbed them and then made them perform surgery on the pigs and when they fixed all the pigs, he had them killed anyways?? hello?? and izzie was the only one who called him out on that!! but she was right! and oh let's not forget how ginger asshole owen also LIED to teddy about her husband dying?!?!? and made cristina lie to her too??? and then he was all like wah wah wah why isn't teddy talking to me :'( LIKE??? bro??? and then he embarrasses cristina aka his wife all bc she didn't want to have a baby WHICH SHE TOLD HIM MULTIPLE TIMES IN THE PAST BEFORE SHE GOT PREGNANT. and then he cheats on her??!?!?!? owen is actually insane lmao and the fact she forgave him??? BUT THEN BURKE TO THE RESCUE BC FINALLY CRISTINA LEFT OWEN ASS!!!

tbh in my rewatch of grey's, i honestly think all the male characters were toxic and irritating in one way or the other (yes including mark and alex who i think are both overrated and overloved and forgiven for things that the female characters would not be forgiven for by the fans). maybe with the exception of jackson (btw i only watch till season 10, when cristina leaves, i leave lmao). but anyways, out of all the men, i honestly think burke was my favourite. he was just so poised and elegant and smart and level-headed and he and cristina had amazing chemistry and such cute moments like dancing together in their apartment and i loved them so much! and yes he was not perfect, he should never have been doing surgery and having cristina do his surgeries for him when he had that tremor, BUT APART FROM THAT he was just WOW! and he knew when to walk away!!! mature king!! unlike owen!!

[blyanten]

Catching up on the MCU!

:readmore:

Black Widow:

I think I'd be more into this movie if Natasha wasn't super fucking dead.

Yelena is great.

The family thing stretches suspension of disbelief, but since none of them had anything even close to stability after that, I'll buy it.

Quit torturing the pigs!

After Red Guardian being a joke I expected the fight with Taskmaster to be either a joke or a damn, he can fight moment, and it was turned out to be a more realistic, even fight. That's cool.

There's an potential army of maybe superpowered, definitely top trained BWs out there. Sure, they probably want different lives, but judging by the end of the movie they won't be against a team up. That's very cool.

Natasha could have leveraged all this into a pardon (and maybe did, since she apparently met up with Ross?) and still she immediately goes "prison break time, baby".

Rewatch: Maybe for Yelena.

Shang-Chi:

The rings go back and forth between looking cool and looking really dumb.

Me: "The monsters sounds Cthulu-ish."

Also me: *no reaction to the name Dweller-in-Darkness.*

Katy's cool, and having her be useful by practicing the bow and arrow, and then hitting a giant target that's standing still is a good way of making her useful, without making it too much.

I think Trevor survives because people let him talk and then realize he's basically living in a different reality and can't be blamed for his actions.

Morris is adorable.

Wish there'd been more of the forest, that was a great bit of horror.

Really like how Shang is just rolling with the plot. Man is delightfully chill about it, all things considered.

Also like how it, despite the world-ending threat, feels more like a very dramatic, fighty family drama. Dad was a great tragic, villain. Not to mention must have been very good with horses.

So sis is not shutting down anything, huh.

Wong is always cool.

Rewatch: Definitely.

Eternals:

Too long. Can we put a two-hour limit on these.

Constantly mind-wiping people, making them fight to protect people and then expecting them to step aside and let everyone die. Yeah, that was going to end badly at some point.

That said, "Humanity is special" got taken a bit too far, I think. After millions of years, this is where you get cold feet? Not entirely buying it.

How many people were the deviants eating anyway, if they were slowing down the emergence?

Normal boyfriend (Dane?) was surprisingly likeable.

Bollywood guy is kinda funny. I don't like him, but I'd keep him around.

Nooo, Gilgamesh! Too likeable to live. Thena is somehow supercool and forgettable at the same time.

Ikarus or whatever had obviously evil written aaall over him, and the indoor eyebeam scene was still a good way to show how little he cares about people. Shame he's also boring. Why is it always the powerful one that decides to go full asshole? To have a big fight, I know, I know. And then the fucker just flies into the sun.

Tinkerbell girl is the worst, though the rock to the head was hilarious. Quit whining and learn to style yourself as an adult. Half your problems solved, right there.

Absolutely love the deviant design. A bit rubbery-looking, but the vaguely skinned look with tentacles is working for me.

Sersi is not... a very good leader. Maybe next movie. Her costume just makes me think of a Green Lantern.

Druig is on the ball throughout the entire movie, and he doesn't even know how much. More of that guy.

Makkai is likable, but seems to be mostly around for moving people out of the way. Wouldn't mind seeing more of her though.

Phastos rules. Sure, dickhead broke free, but that trap was way more effective than I thought it would be.

So the dead baby Celestial is just hanging out in the ocean now. Neat. Will in no way be a problem in the future.

Wonder how many people is digging into old family legends these days.

Rewatch: Nah. Stopped caring as soon as the movie was over.

Multiverse of Madness:

I had hoped the "you break rules, you're a hero, I break rules, I'm a villain" would be more than standard villain bullshit, but I'm not sure it would have been as fun as watching Wanda go full villain all over the place. Because it is extremely fun.

I appreciate the speed of plot here. Straight to the point, no holding back the reveal.

Love the visuals.

Lol at Strange casually burying himself.

Love the implication that Strange is kicking Mordo's ass on the regular.

So the Illuminati are clearly supposed to be great heroes, but aside from Xavier they all seem like... well, kinda dickish. Also, lol at Black Bolt's death. That just looked dumb. Reed, this is why we don't tell the bad guy what powers people have, even if you're trying for a peaceful talk-down.

That's a hard no the the 616 stuff.

Fuck yeah, self-possessed zombie Stephen and multiplying rotten hands!

Wong seems to have hit a "this might as well happen" point. No wonder, really. Shame about his... assistant?, she seemed cool, and she did manage to wreck the Darkhold.

Feel like they could have done more with America, but at least she's introduced now, and her crystal star portals look great.

Ever word Wanda says just hammers home how badly she's lost it, especially the "every mom makes her kids by magic" line, but the "I wouldn't hurt anyone" line takes it to a whole new level. Lady, you're half a minute away from throwing the kids through a wall, and you're definitely fucking them up emotionally. True A+ MCU parenting.

Just ending it like that, huh. From dramatic screaming to everything is fine, next adventure.

Rewatch: Don't know. Plot's fine, but a lot of the fun was tied into the spectacle and not knowing what happened next.

Love & Thunder:

I wanted actual adventures with Thor and the GotG, so that was a disappointing start. Well, the actual beginning of the movie was good.

I'm amazed there are asgardians left at this point.

I fucking hate Korg. How dare the movie hopespot me with his death and then not follow through on it.

This Thor is the worst Thor.

The new armor was nice tough. The black one, the other one looked like plastic.

The humour in this movie does not work for me. How is it possible to be even worse than the rest of the MCU when it comes to letting emotional moments stand?

Except for the "half our warriors are always dead" joke, that was hilarious.

Mjolnir in pieces was awesome.

I wish Valkyrie had feelings.

The Shadow realm was really creepy. Gorr appearing during story time was very dad-ish, like a monster version of a dad telling dumb jokes.

The kids fighting was half cool, half ridiculous, but I dig the Princess cutting a monster in two and the one with the rabbit.

Boo, don't be a quitter, Gorr. But lol at Gorr's kid actually being named Love. Go for a namechange, kid, it's a bit much. At least she's with the Asgardians, they've got "everyone I love died" down to an art by now.

Sif dying of actual battlewounds won't get her to Valhalla, but Jane dying of cancer, a disease, does get there. Not very consistent, these rules. Did Thor accidentally wish her there or something.

Unless it's less dying in battle, and more heroic sacrifice they're going for. Not very heroic to lie there and die when you can get up and get help.

Ending was cute. Tiny girl with giant weapon is always cute.

Rewatch: No.

[lokisprettygirl]

What's Love Got to do with it? (Loki x female reader)

Part 2

Read Part 1 here

Summary : How do you tell a guy you don't love him without telling him you don't love him? Loki doesn't get a hint

Warning : 18+ Smut, Drinking,

Writing this for @not-anotha-loki-fanart-acc

When loki went downstairs, he was mobbed by your family members again, they bombarded him with questions about his life.

"You sound British? Where are you from? Your cousin mark asked

"Uhhh I'm from London actually, born and brought up there" he answered politely

"Why did you leave London?" Your mom asked

"Uhh I came here for further studies, I quite enjoy new york so I just stayed" he answered

"Ever thought of modelling?" Mandy asked him nervously

"umm I beg your pardon, what?" He raised his eyebrows

"So did you have any serious relationship before y/n" your sister Monty asked

"uhh yeah I did ..I guess" he answered nervously

"Oh my goddd let him eat" you snapped and all of them got quiet. What were you thinking bringing him here, he looks like a pig that's about to be roasted.

"There's a party in evening, just barbecue and drinks, I hope you'll enjoy that" your mom told him and he nodded politely

"So loki do you love our daughter?" Your dad asked and you facepalmed

"I do, that's why I proposed her, I really do love her" he smiled as he looked at you with those damn puppy eyes and sunshiny smile, Everyone awwed and you just felt bad for the poor sap.

After lunch, everyone decided to let him breathe for sometimes, you wanted to go mess with him but that love confession made you cringe. In the evening you got ready and went out in the yard where the party was happening, music was loud and you were ready to get drunk and dance. You saw him in a black shirt with a black pant, dancing with your cousin Mandy. Did he dress up to kill her? You could tell she had a huge crush on him, she had her arms wrapped around his neck, he laughed at something she said, you couldn't deny how pretty he looked sometimes. You felt something you haven't felt in a long time, jealousy.

You walked over to them and his pupils dilated as he saw you in your black dress and full make up on "Y/n, you look so gorgeous" he hugged you and you pulled him in for a kiss, your eyes glaring at Mandy. She scurried off as soon as she got the hint. Loki pulled away he didn't want to indulge in pda and make your family members uncomfortable. what a polite loser

You made him a drink and gave it to him, he was sipping on it like a gentleman so you held the glass and made him drink in one go. Maybe drinking would turn off the emotional button in his head "You look good enough to eat loki" you mumbled in his ear and his eyes widened "you do too love, I love you so much" he kissed your forehead then he looked at you "So Pretty, my fiance, all mine" then he kissed your forehead again. You hated moments like this with him, truly hated how sweet he was, it's all just an act though, the moment you would start trusting him he would show his true colours,so why even bother.

You grabbed his arms and took him to a secluded part of the farmhouse, you felt horny and you needed his touch all over your body. You pushed him against the wall and kissed him, his moans filled your ears and his hands wandered all over your back "Ohh love, god I have missed you pretty baby.." he mumbled and you sucked on his neck , making sure it leaves a mark on his gorgeous pale skin "You have missed this" you unbuttoned top two buttons of his shirt and kissed the center of his chest, he whimpered as you did "This tooo..fuck. ..please" he whined and you took him to your room quickly.

"Quick we don't have much time" you unbuttoned his pants hurriedly "Condoms" he mumbled and you told him you were still on pills "against the wall please" you told him and he pushed you against the wall and thrusted inside you quickly "how quickly can you cum babyboy?" You giggled and he looked at you, those damn eyes. "I can cum right now if you want me to, but you won't get much pleasure out of that" he kissed you slowly as he thrusted in and out of you, you moaned into his mouth , he loved your dominating nature, it was one of the reasons he couldn't stop sleeping with you again and again.

But then he noticed little things about you that you tried to hide from him, like how you'd sometimes leave his place with fresh coffee brewing for him or how you took care of him once he got sick, or how he caught you crying your eyes out when he got into an accident a year ago. Little things that you never showed him, little things that made him fall for you but he could never understand why you'd not show him emotions.

"fuckk yess ..right there babbyy...you feel so good" you mumbled and he kissed you again "You were getting awfully chummy with my cousin out there" you said between the kisses and he smiled. Were you jealous? "I don't care but she have her eyes on you sooo" you defended yourself, you knew what he was thinking and you couldn't have him think like that. You were definitely not jealous.

"Fuckk...love..oh love..I'm going to cum inside you" he mumbled as he reached his orgasm and you clenched around him, bringing you both to your release, he was panting and breathing heavily, so were you, he was so close to you as he trapped you with in him.

"That wass good" you chuckled and you could see his eyes were tearing up and you hated it. He was such an emotional sap and you hated it "What's wrong?" You asked him and he smiled

"Nothing, I'm just.. I love you so much"

And you just sighed, then you pulled him out of you and went to the bathroom to get cleaned up.

Can't deal with this, won't deal with this.

[lucywrites02]

Ch. 7: A new addition

Main Masterlist | The great escape Masterlist

<<beginning | <<prev | next>>

A/N: This chapter has a tiny bit of plot, but it's mostly about Loki and Sylvie bonding. Btw i really like this Sylvie. I wanted to make her mean und unlikable but she ended up being a babie. And Loki adopts her on the spot.

Pairing: (they/ them) Loki x gn! Reader

Word count: 1.4k

Warnings: reader has a mental breakdown

Series summary: You finally got the chance to escape the TVA but nothing ever goes according to plan when the god of mischief is around.

Chapter Summary: Loki and Sylvie have a talk. some things are still unclear, but the trickster decides to trust her. you wake up, confused and break down- the events of the last few months are getting to you once again and Sylvie sending you back to the bad place didn't help much.

Tag list: @twhiddlestonsstuff @dreamingyouth @xladyxfatex @castiels-majestic-wings @lokistan @cozy-the-overlord ​ @whatafuckingdumbass   @electroma89 ​ @dpaccione @silver-lupines @poetic-fiasco @lokitrashfan @weirdfangirl2416 @rorybutnotgilmore @the-emo-asgardian @wolfish-trickster @serpentargo @darkacademicfrom2021 @imnotrevealingmyname @nyx2021 @theaudacitytowrite @high-functioning-lokipath @i-beg-your-pardon-laufeyson @funsized-mimi @aliiiyyaaah @handmaiden-of-mischief @bouffantofdoom @mischief-siriusly-managed

“Let me get this straight,” Loki walked around the living room in circes, pinching the bridge of their nose in irritation. “I made you and gave you powers that are similar to mine and that’s why the TVA thinks you’re a Loki.”

“Something like that, yeah.” Sylvie fiddled nervously with the sleeves of her sweater. She was still kinda scared of Loki and didn’t want to piss him off. She heard what this guy was capable of. And she really valued her life.

“Am I like… your parent or something?” The god asked, carefully sitting on the couch trying not to wake you up.

“What? NO!” The woman exclaimed, shaking her head. “That would be weird, no. I don’t know who you are to me, but definitely NOT a father.”

“A parent.” The trickster corrected her.

“Yeah, you’re not.”

“Oh, no I meant- a parent as in not a father or mother. It’s more gender neutral, you know?” Loki explained and looked down at your still unconscious body. They put their hand on your head, gently massaging your scalp. Sylvie said you will wake up soon which eased Loki’s nerves a bit.

“I didn’t realize, sorry. I shouldn't have just assumed.”

“It’s okay, don’t worry,” the god assured her. “I’m actually both, sometimes neither. It varies from moment to moment.”

“Oh, that’s cool.” Sylvie said. The girl felt her stomach grumble and cringed at the sound it was making. She just wanted to steal some food and run away, but that didn’t go according to plan. She didn’t want to show Loki her discomfort, but the trickster wasn’t blind. Loki actually felt bad for Sylvie- the woman has been living on the run for way longer than you two. “I’m sorry,” The woman said, covering her abdomen with a hand as it was going to solve her problem, “For that and for using your friend.” She pointed at you, clearly ashamed of what she’s done. "And for breaking into your house. That was probably mean."

Thankfully, you’ve been moving a bit, which meant you were about to wake up any moment now. Loki hoped you wouldn't snore though. The trickster wouldn't be able to contain their laughter because let's face it- this situation was intense and there you were, snoring like a pig in front of a potential enemy.

“Stay here, I will get you something.” The trickster said and headed to the kitchen, leaving you alone with the stranger.

Sylvie could use this moment to escape- the TemPad was in her pocket. It would take a literal second to take it and run- but there was something inside her that desperately wanted to stay. Maybe you could help her find the time keepers? Or maybe years of isolation finally got to her and Sylvie’s need for any kind of human interaction was too strong to ignore anymore.

Loki wasn’t stupid and they woulnd’t leave you with an intruder. A copy of them was lurking in the corner of the room- hidden from anyone’s eyes and to attack if needed. The god didn’t trust that girl, but wanted to give her the benefit of the doubt. Maybe she wasn’t that bad after all.

-------

You woke up with a loud yawn. You stretched your body, making a noise similar to a dying pterodactyl and opened your eyes. That's where you noticed a woman sitting on an armchair not so far away from you. She smiled at you awkwardly and you stared at her dumbfounded. It was…. Strange. This girl definitely wasn't Loki, but her clothing was really similar to the ones that the intruder had on. You were slow right after waking up, but not stupid and even though it took you a minute you finally connected the dots.

“LOKI!” You screamed and stood up, still on the couch. Your friend barged into the living room with a plate in one hand and a bottle of juice in the other. How could they be so calm in a moment like this. Now that you thought of it, yelling wasn’t the best idea because your head hurt like a bitch.

“What’s wrong?! Are you okay?!?!” The god put down the food and took your face in their hands, examining it carefully. “How are you feeling?”

“I- I’m good?” Loki seemed to pay no attention to the girl sitting nearby, now munching on the sandwich they brought mere seconds ago. You had a feeling that you missed a lot. You opened your mouth to say something, but closed it immediately. Looking between Loki and the intruder you wondered if you were still dreaming.

The god realized what was wrong and laughed awkwardly. “Oh yes that,” They said and pointed at Sylvie who was now watching the two of you with her mouth full of bread. You had no idea what to do so you waved at her with a nervous smile on your face. She waved back. “I will explain everything to you, but first, are you sure you’re okay?”

“My head hurts but I will live.” You and Loki sat down again, still far away from your guest. “So…. what did I miss?”

“Oh right,” Loki pointed at the woman and continued, “This is Sylvie and she is the variant TVA was looking for all this time.”

“I’m sorry for enchanting you. I panicked.” The woman- Sylvie- said and took a sip of the orange juice you bought on your shopping trip yesterday.

“She wants to find the time keepers and destroy the TVA.” Loki added.

“And I am not a Loki” The girl chimed in.

“Yes, she was created by me. Not me-me, but a me from a different time line or reality… I’m still not sure how that works. Is it possible for different realities to coexist as long as they follow the flow of the sacred timeline? It’s all so confusing.” Your companion started babbling and you were even more confused than before.

“I wondered that, too!” Sylvie said.

“Hey, woah, wait a second.” You interrupted them, waving your hands around in hope they would stop. “I- I need a minute to process all of that!"

Loki and Sylvie fell silent, not expecting you to yell at them.

"I'm sorry guys, I'm just-" You put your head in your hands and took a deep breath. You felt a weight on your shoulder and moved your head up. Loki was kneeling right in front of you, their eyes full of worry. Your body might have been free, but your mind was still stuck in the loop of bad memories. You didn’t even notice when you started crying. The noise from the outside reminded you of the upcoming apocalypse and your anxiety only got worse because of that. There was still so much to do- get the TemPad from your bedroom, pack all of the food, the books, plants and then take Mr Ribbit with you. It was too much for you!

Loki called your name, but you were in your own bubble of misery and nothing could pull you out of it.

"Are they okay?" Sylvie asked, feeling bad for you. She wasn't the best at social interactions and had no idea what to do.

"Why would you do that?" You sobbed, not caring how awful you must have been looking. "Why would you send me back there?"

Loki put their arms around you and pulled you closer for a hug. Turning their head, the god looked at Sylvie. The woman didn't know what to say. 'I didn't mean to' would probably sound very insensitive and you clearly needed some comfort. Some of your memories were really sad and Sylvie wished she had never seen them. Because her magic wasn’t as advanced as Loki's, she had no control over what memories she can and can't see. Only random snippets of one's life.

"I'm so sorry." The girl said. Loki had no idea what caused your breakdown, but it had something to do with Sylvie’s enchantment- that's probably why the woman was apologizing. "I can't control it, you have to believe me." She turned to Loki, hoping they wouldn't get mad at her.

The god put you in their lap, gently rocking you from side to side and waiting for your tears to stop falling. They assumed Sylvie must have sent you to a very bad place and Loki wished they could do something to make you forget.

<<beginning | <<prev | next>>

A/N: The next few chapters are gonna be very... uhm... different

[santigarcia]

Kissing Kitten 😽

Human Touch Part Nine

Part One | Part Two | Part Three | Part Four | Part Five | Part Six | Part Seven | Part Eight

word count: 1.6k

rating: M for smut, dirty talk, mentions of daddy kink, phone sex, sexual situations (pls don’t read unless ur 18+!)

summary: Nathan leaves for a business trip and you stay at home, but he finds ways to take care of you even when he’s gone. 

a/n: thank you all so much for reading this series! let me know what yall think! thank you to @punkpascal and @sergeantkane as always!! and to @aellynera for yelling at me to post on time!! there’s only one more part after this! if you’ve read all these i really appreciate you!! 

For the first time since the wedding, Nathan has left the compound. He has a business meeting with the board of Bluebook. He’s preparing to launch his latest tech. The smart home device he’s been working on, Etta. You’d have gone with him, but you wanted to let him work. He wanted your company, but he also knew he’d be working, and you’d spend a lot of time alone.

He texts you though, especially during the board meetings. Begging you for a nude selfie.

“Kitten, I already saw that one,” he’d text back. He wants you to take a new one. You play along, but that’s when you get an idea.

You send him a text: Sugar daddy wanted.

He’s quick to write back: Sugar daddy acquired.

You can’t help but giggle when you see his response. You’re curled up in bed, wearing one of his shirts. Because of the time difference, it’s bedtime for you but the afternoon for him.

Text: I’m so bored daddy.

Reply: You need someone to take care of you Kitten?

Text: Please?

Reply: There’s a box in the closet baby, go get it.

You push back the blankets as you step out of the bed with piqued curiosity. You open the closet to see a box the size of a shoebox. Your name is written on the top in Nathan’s all caps handwriting. With the box in hand, you go back over to the bed to see a new text from Nathan telling you not to open it until he gets back to his hotel room.

You want to open it now, but you know he’ll know somehow if you did. So, you slide under the blankets again and drift off. You might as well nap before he’s done with his meeting.

Your phone rings a few hours later, and it’s a facetime call. Happily, you answer to see your husband’s face.

“Hey kitten,” he smiles. He’s leaning back against the headboard of his bed. His shirt is off, and he looks damp from a fresh shower.

“Hi baby,” you smile and turn on a bedside lamp.

“Did I wake you?” he frowns slightly.

“Yes, but it’s ok, I miss you!”

“I miss you kitten,” he rubs his hand over his head. “This shit is so boring.”

You laugh. “How’s it going though?”

“Fine.” He pauses and looks down over the rim of his glasses. “Did you open the box?”

“No,” you smile, holding it up. “You told me not to!”

“Good girl. Open it,” he nods.

Inside the small box are a few objects. The first thing you notice right away is a dildo. You hold it up and he quirks a proud brow.

“You’re gonna use that in a minute kitten,” he tells you, and you can’t see where his hand goes, but he’s starting to lazily stroke his cock.

“Is this the one we made?” you laugh at the memory.

“Oh yeah it is,” he smirks, and lets out a soft whine. He’s thinking about it too.

He’d called you down to his lab one afternoon, he’d been in there all day and you’d not heard from him. So, when he called you it was a surprise, you thought he was going to use you as a guinea pig for his smart home device he’s testing named Etta. He’s getting close to finishing her, and you agreed to help him with the trials. But this wasn’t it.

You walked in the lab, pushed on the glass door, it was cool under your fingertips. Inside the room however, it was quite warm. Warmer than normal. Nathan stood in the middle of the room, hand on his hard cock, pumping himself slowly.

“Nathan?” you laughed and flushed despite coming in here and seeing weirder things. And you’ve done crazier things with him before.

“Good you’re here,” he said.

“What are you doing?”

“Making a mold of my dick. Here,” he tapped the table, indicating for you to hop up on it. “Strip. Let’s go let’s go,” he taps the table quicker.

“Ok ok!” you scoffed a little, but you figured he had a reason. “Why do I need to be naked for you to make a mold of your-“

“I need to stay hard while the mold is on me kitten.” He reached for a tube filled with a solution. Once you were naked, he positioned himself inside the tube. He let out a soft gasp at the change of temperature and focused in on you. “Ok, go.” He nodded his head at you.

“Pardon?” you started to step off the counter when he winced again.

“Touch yourself baby, please.”

You wanted to gloat, but you didn’t want to ruin his project. But then, you thought maybe some gloating might turn him on a little.

You were shy the first and second time he asked you to touch yourself in front of him, but by now you’d gotten quite good at putting on a show for your husband. He moaned watching your fingers move.

“How long do you have to stay hard for?”

“Five minutes. But it’s not so easy when this thing is fuckin’ cold.”

You kept going. And you were seconds away from coming when Nathan’s timer went off. He gently pulled himself out of it and reached for you.

“Oh no, you are not touching me until that stuff is off you.”

He promptly ignored you and shoved your hand away. He knelt on the ground and buried his face in between your legs. His moans and beard added to your pleasure, and you came when you heard him groan deeply. He came untouched, his cum dripped onto the floor and down his length.

You’d not seen the dildo until now that it’s in your hands.

“Fuck, I wish I was there to push it into you,” Nathan sighs. “But since you can’t have the real me-“

You smile and set the dildo on the bed next to you. You continue going through the box. Inside there’s a bottle of lube, some new lingerie, and a small scrap of paper. It has information about picking up something tomorrow.

“Make sure you’re awake, you can’t miss this delivery,” he tells you over the phone. “Now, please baby. Can I see you?”

You pull off your shirt, and he groans.

“Fuck look at you. Do they miss me?”

You purse your lips together, wanting to roll your eyes at his joke, but yes- yes you miss him touching your tits. So, so badly.

“I’m not going to dignify that with an answer,” you grin.

“So that’s a yes then. Ok, baby, touch ‘em. Please, fuck.”

His hand slides up and down his cock in full view of you while you touch your chest for him. You do everything he asks, but you start to tell him what to do as well.

Soon you’ve got the dildo ready and he moans louder than you when you slide it in. It’s strange to feel it, because you know it’s not him, but you can tell it was made from him. It fills you just the same.

“How’s it feel baby?”

“Thick,” you moan, clenching around it. “But I miss your warmth,” you tell him honestly. And you do, you miss his heat, not just physically, but the passion. It’s there now, only virtual.

“Remember when we used to have phone sex when you still lived at home? And start moving that that kitten.”

You moan doing as he asks and tell him yes you remember.

“I tried to hide my posters of you from you,” you laugh then moan again.

“Posters? Plural? Oh fuck!”

“Are you about to come from that?” you can’t help but giggle.

“Fuck, you were so cute when you were all shy and crushing on me.”

That pulled a moan from you.

“You like that kitten? Remember when you were so shy? Fuck, you let me take your virginity baby.”

You want to watch him, but you throw your head back, squeezing your eyes shut.

“Look at me kitten,” he demands, and you open your eyes. “Come. Now,” his voice drops, and you can’t help but relax and let your body release. He watches you in delight squeeze around the gift he made you. It sends him over, and it’s your turn to delight in the pleasure look on his face, and his cum on his tight stomach.

“I miss you,” you gasp, catching your breath.

“Fuck, me too baby. But that was sexy as fuck,” he grins, and you nod in agreement. “Now, go back to sleep baby. Don’t forget about that delivery tomorrow.”

You set an alarm as soon as you get off the phone with him. When you’ve cleaned up and curled back in bed, you smile wondering what on earth he could have sent you.

The next morning you wake and get dressed to see about the delivery. You make the small walk to the field where the helicopter comes with your weekly deliveries of food and whatever else the two of you need.

The pilot hands you a box, and it says not to open until you get back to the compound.

But you can hear what’s inside before you do.

You gasp softly and walk quickly back to the compound and open the box as soon as you step inside, and the door is closed behind you.

Inside is a little black kitten. He has on a little blue collar, and the name tag says “Prometheus.” He’s a little jumpy from being flown in, but before you know it, he’s happy and exploring around his new home.

You pick him up and cuddle him and give him a kiss on his little head. With him in your arms, you look in side the box again. There’s a towel and another note.

All it says is “a kitten for my kitten.”

tagging: @pascal-isaac, @wasicskosgirl, @velvetmel0n, @huliabitch, @shadow-assassin-blix, @writefightandflightclub, @aellynera, @softboywriting​, @veuliee2​, @spider-starry​, @mylifeliterally​, @millllenniawrites​, @ntlmundy​, @foxilayde, @writingletterstothefire​, @mandoplease​, @anetteaneta​, @feelmyroarrrr​, @artsymaddie​, @shakespeareanwannabe​, @poedameronsbeard​, @deanfanatic67​, @magicsuperheroes​, @phoenixhalliwell​, @that-one-weird-one​, @mariesackler, @yourbucky084​, @woakiees​

[pines-troz]

Those We Hold Dear - Animaniacs/Pinky and The Brain Oneshot

Summary: An introverted Brain finds himself feeling lost during the holiday party on the Warner Movie Lot. He manages to find some respite upon finding a pool table in the abandoned rec room. When Yakko unexpectedly invites himself in, the two engage in some casual conversation, then slowly open themselves up as they talk about their loved ones. 

This story includes mild doses of Brinky and Non-Binary Wakko with he/they pronouns. 

Word Count: 7,969

TW: Brief mentions of trauma, animal testing, and alcohol

Includes spoilers from the Animaniacs Reboot and references to the Pinky and The Brain spin-off cartoon. 

Special thanks to @themurphyzone for beta reading!

AO3 Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27714374

Beginning AN: This fic was written because there aren’t enough stories where Pinky and The Brain interact with the Warners, and I feel like there’s so much untapped potential in terms of interesting character dynamics and I wanted to explore that with this story. I hope you enjoy this self-indulgent and very heartwarming fanfic. 

As Christmas time drew near, The Warner Brothers movie lot was bustling with the spirit of the holiday season. Studios were dressed in Christmas decorations, and classic Christmas songs played over the speakers. And in the heart of the studio, the WB office was holding a special holiday party for the cast and crew of the Animaniacs reboot. Pinky and the Brain were among the invited guests, and the two mice strolled through the movie lot together as they made their way to the party. 

Brain shook his head, still in disbelief that he and Pinky worked as part-time actors, and even more so that they were asked to return for the Animaniacs reboot after the original show had been off the air for over twenty years. 

The small mouse remembered back in the early 1990s, when one of his initial plans for world domination involved him and Pinky breaking into the Warner Bros. studio to broadcast his homemade propaganda film. But while they infiltrated the studio, they were spotted by a small group of writers. When Brain explained in earnest that he and Pinky were ‘genetically altered lab mice trying to take over the world’, the writers were so amused and inspired that they brought the lab mice over to meet the studio executives and were hired right on the spot.

While having to act out failed plans to take over the world felt like a slap to the face at times, Brain quickly found the positive aspects of working on a popular television show. He and Pinky worked on set a few days a week (which saved them from having to undergo more painful experiments from the scientists at Acme Labs), they got along well with the other cast, crew, and various workers on the Warner movie lot. The mice also received truck loads of fan mail and fan art from viewers (and they put in the effort to express their gratitude by writing back to as many letters as they could), attended conventions even long after the show went off the air, and were invited to cast parties. 

As much as Brain enjoyed seeing Pinky having a ball at the cast parties, he himself admittedly detested large social gatherings. If world domination was at stake, then Brain would be more motivated to be sociable; rubbing elbows with politicians, manipulating powerful individuals to do his bidding, and being one step closer to planetary conquest. 

But Brain had no schemes up his sleeve. No ulterior motives, hidden agendas, or feasible plans for world conquest tonight. The mouse had put off all plans to take over the world off the table during the holiday season after having read Pinky’s unsent letter to Santa that fateful Christmas. From that moment on, Brain vowed to ignore his own lofty ambitions during the holidays and to put more focus on making Pinky happy.  

The mice made sure to dress appropriately for the holiday party. Brain donned a red sweater and dark green pants. Simple festive colors, but nothing overly garish. Pinky, however, went above and beyond in his party attire, as he wore a green dress with candy cane prints all over and sparkly red shoes. Once they walked past the office doors, they approached the elevator. Brain retrieved his limb-enhancing device and pressed the button, which opened up the doors, and the two mice entered the elevator. Brain used the device again to hit the button for floor nine, and the elevator moved upwards. 

“Oh this is going to be so much fun, Brain!” Pinky chirped, flapping his hands with excitement. 

“Well if you’re happy, then I’m happy.” Brain affirmed, keeping a calm and orderly demeanor. 

Once they reached the right floor, they exited the elevator and approached the large event space where the party was held. As they approached the doorway, they were immediately greeted by Yakko, who wore a red and white striped blazer in addition to his usual brown slacks. 

“Hey, Pinky and the Brain!” Yakko greeted as he waved at them. “How are the fan favorites doing?” 

“We’re doing well for ourselves, Yakko-” Brain’s response was interrupted when he felt a giant wet smooch on his left cheek. He looked over his left to see Pinky smiling at him. The smaller mouse looked at his roommate with a shocked and irritated expression. 

“Pinky!” Brain berated his companion, as his cheeks began to flare up. “I told you, no frivolous displays of affection outside of the lab!” 

“Poit! I’m sorry Brain, but, you were standing right under the mistletoe, and I just couldn’t help myself!” Pinky explained with a joyous giggle as Brain wiped off the saliva from the side of his face. The intelligent mouse looked up above only to find that dreaded yuletide plant taped to the doorframe. 

“Hey sibs! The power couple just arrived!” Yakko addressed his younger siblings. Brain fumed at the eldest Warner boy, who shrugged and flashed a playful smile back at the mouse. 

Dot arrived on cue, followed by Wakko, who greedily shoveled all the contents of the plate of appetizers (and the plate) into their mouth. The younger Warners dressed appropriately for the festive occasion. Wakko wearing an oversized blue sweater with a sequin snowman, and their iconic backwards red cap had elf ears taped to each side. In addition to her pink skirt, Dot wore a white sweater with a colorful Christmas tree and a reindeer antler headband. 

“Pinky!” Dot greeted happily, skipping merrily towards the taller mouse. “Oh you look so adorable!”  

Pinky jumped for joy as the Warner sister picked him up. “Oh, why thank you Dot. Zort! I actually had a little help from Brain. He used his knit-o-matic machine to put the dress together!” 

Dot turned her attention over to Brain, who was still standing beneath her. “Hello Brain! Don’t go thinking that I forgot about you.” She said, giving a couple pats to his large head. 

“I wouldn’t dream of it.” Brain bantered, but lost his guard when the middle Warner sibling scooped him into their hands. 

“Oh what joy, Brain is here!” Wakko cheered, lifting Brain up in the air as he twirled around. “I was thinking about going around the movie lot and belching my favorite Christmas carols later tonight. Would you care to join me?” 

“A tempting offer, but I’m afraid I have to decline.” Brain gently rejected. 

“Okay, but the offer still stands if you change your mind!” Wakko insisted. 

“Very well. Now would you be so kind as to put me down? I’m going to head on over to the refreshments table.” The mouse said. 

“Say, I was going to grab some snacks too! And maybe we can eat over at the table together!” Wakko proclaimed, carrying the mouse as he made their way to the refreshments table. 

“Well, I would be delighted to keep you company.” Brain answered honestly. 

The mouse tried to keep his favoritism hidden, but of all the cast members he worked with, he enjoyed being with the Warners the most. While they may be a nuisance to the humans on the movie lot, they were quite friendly with most of the animal actors on the set. Brain was quite enamored with Yakko’s comedic banter, Wakko’s silliness, and Dot’s wit and charm, and while they playfully teased him on occasions, it was never out of any malice. But the one aspect he enjoyed the most was that they were never judgemental of him or Pinky. 

Brain picked up the smallest plate from the stack and started picking out one of each cheese, a deviled egg, the second-to-last pig in a blanket, two baby carrots, and a jumbo shrimp. Wakko swooped in from behind, taking the last the last pig in a blanket and gobbled it up. 

Brain looked over at the line of wine glasses and the various wine bottles behind them and figured that he could go for a nice glass of red wine. Despite his short stature, Brain found an easier way to access the alcohol as he spotted Ralph the security guard (who may or may not be off-duty), grabbing a handful of jumbo shrimp. 

“Pardon me, Ralph.” Brain addressed the dim-witted security guard. 

Ralph turned his head and looked around for a few moments before spotting Brain. “Duh, oh hi Blaine.”

“Actually, it’s Brain.” The small mouse corrected. “Could you do me a small favor and pour me a glass of the pinot noir.” 

The security guard looked over at the wine bottles, scratching his head in bewilderment.  

“It’s the reddish bottle with the picture of purple grapes on it” Brain curtly explained in layman’s terms

“Oh, uh right!” The imbecilic security guard affirmed. He grabbed the specific bottle and poured a little too much wine into the glass, filling it almost to the top. The mouse did not care that he had an excessive amount of wine. Lord knows that he needs enough alcohol in his system to get through this social gathering. 

“Thank you, my good man.” Brain said politely. 

“But wait a minute, how are you gonna drink from the glass?” The security guard asked. 

“Already accounted for.” Brain reached into his pocket and pulled out a green swirly straw custom made for himself. 

Wakko walked over to Brain, carrying two full trays of appetizers. The middle Warner sibling marveled at the swirly straw. “You have great tastes in straws.” He carefully picked up Brain and placed him on top of their red hat. Wakko managed to carry his own plates, Brain’s plate and the wine glass with relative ease as he waltzed over to the table. 

“Thank you, Wakko.” Brain said gratefully. 

“Your welcome! Oh, I was wondering if you wanted to hear about how I found myself in Paris?” The middle child asked. “I want to tell someone else besides my siblings about all the fun adventures I had.” 

“Yes, I would love to hear some amusing anecdotes from your vacation.” Brain replied. The intelligent mouse was well aware that Wakko can be very passionate and talkative when it came to their interests, so he decided to validate the middle child with attentive ears. 

Brain listened intently as Wakko continued to talk about their trip. The intelligent mouse felt relieved that he wasn’t the one who had to initiate the conversation. He could simply provide Wakko his undivided attention and listen to them reminisce over their trip to Paris. This was splendid!

“I visited the Eiffel Tower, The Louvre, and Notre Dame, but only from the outside.” Wakko said wistfully. 

“The fire of Notre Dame was awfully devastating.” Brain added. “Forgive me if this comes off as a boast, but when Pinky and I visited Paris years ago we were fortunate enough to go inside the cathedral and climb the tower.” 

“Really!” Wakko exclaimed, who was rather excited by Brain’s vacation story. “Oh, do you have any pictures?”

“Well of course! Just let me just find the vacation album on my phone.” Brain said, as he tried to retrieve his smartphone from his pocket. 

“Oh, I forgot to mention how wonderful the crepes were!” Wakko added. “I had strawberry crepes, banana and nutella crepes, some egg and cheese crepes,”

But Wakko’s infodumping came to a crashing halt when Yakko stormed over to the table. “Wakko, did you take the last pig in a blanket?” The Warner brother interrogated. 

The middle Warner sibling glanced guiltily towards Brain then back at their sibling. “Maybe?” The eldest Warner still held his suspicious glare at him, until Wakko finally gave in. “Yeah…” 

“I knew it!” Yakko declared as he proceeded to put his sibling in a headlock, dragging them away from the table and into the center of the room. Wakko broke free and a battle between the older Warner siblings broke out. 

“Oh, this oughta be rich!” Dot devilishly commented. She quickly grabbed her smartphone from her pocket and filmed the action. 

Pinky was thrilled by the sudden action and further enabled the sibling rivalry. “Go, go! Give ‘em the ol’ one-two!” The mouse laughed maniacally as he punched the air. “Narf!”

Brain ruefully shook his head at the sibling shenanigans that took place. The small mouse knew better than to get involved, lest he wanted to be squished like a pancake or smacked so hard that he would crash onto the drywall. He found himself all alone again. He finished up his plate of appetizers when he noticed the new CEO, Rita Nortia, taking her place on the other side of the table. 

The mouse suddenly felt compelled to speak with her. After all, she did play a significant part in hiring him and Pinky back for the reboot when they could have been cast off like the majority of his fellow cast members from the original show. 

“Alright Brain, this is going to be a long party and you have to at least try to be sociable.” He told himself. The mouse then took a considerably long sip of wine to work the courage to speak to his new boss. 

“Hello, Ms. Nortia.” Brain addressed, trying his best to sound friendly. 

The CEO looked over at the mouse with an indifferent expression. “Wait a minute, I know you, you’re one of the mice playing second fiddle to those pesky Warners….Bran, is it?”

“Actually, it’s The Brain,” The mouse corrected, but suddenly changed his tone as he did not want to come off as bossy in front of his boss. “but I’m perfectly content with being addressed as Brain, if that’s most convenient for you. A-and I wanted to thank you again for including Pinky and myself in the reboot.” 

“Sure, sure. You two were one of the more memorable parts of the original show.” Rita Norita replied, sounding rather unenthused. After a moment of awkward silence between the two, the CEO spoke up again. “Was there anything else you wanted to say?” 

Brain was sweating nervously, feeling like a total waste of space. He could tell that she was a busy woman who was more occupied with work-related interests. The mouse tried his hardest to come up with an interesting topic of discussion. The weather? No, too cliche. The hottest Netflix shows? No way. He couldn’t bring up the competition in front of his boss. Those ridiculous Tik Tok videos that Pinky wouldn’t stop blabbering about? If he didn’t understand the appeal of those, what were the chances that the CEO would. The only other thing he could possibly bring up was-

“So, how about those sports?” Brain asked with a nervous smile. 

Rita Norita stared blankly at the mouse. “What about them.” 

Brain was caught tongue-tied. He didn’t know enough about the current state of any American sports team, so he decided to take a leap of faith and try to discuss the one sport he loved. 

“Well, uh, would you be interested in hearing about the beauty and intricacies of rhythmic gymnastics?” Brain asked with a sheepish smile. 

As the CEO was about to give another dry response, she was interrupted when a group of sharply dressed business people walked over to her. 

“Ms. Norita, we have some very important business information to discuss with you.” One of them said. 

“Finally, a riveting topic of discussion.” She exulted, immediately getting up from her seat. She shot a quick glance at the mouse. “You’ll have to excuse me, but I have more pressing matters to tend to.” 

The CEO left the table with the other white-collar workers, leaving Brain to his own devices. The mouse propped his head up as he stared into his empty plate of appetizers, desperately trying to forget the mortifying conversation. If dying from embarrassment was possible, then Brain would already be in Heaven surrounded by an angelic choir of Pinkys. 

“Hey Brain!” 

Upon hearing the cockney accent he was so familiar with, he looked over his shoulder only to find Pinky taking off his dress and diving straight into the punch bowl. Through the clear glass, Pinky was happily swimming underneath the punch for a few moments. Once he broke through the surface, the tall mouse was giggling contentedly and he propped himself up on the side of the bowl to talk to his roommate. 

“Oh Brain, you should try this!” The buck-toothed mouse called out. “The water is so refreshing!” 

“No thank you, Pinky.” Brain replied, shielding his face from his roommate. He took another peek at the taller mouse. Pinky looked like a complete buffoon, but he looked like he was having the time of his life, swimming in the punch bowl without a care in the world. Brain, on the other hand, felt completely lost and isolated despite being surrounded by a sea of party-goers. 

Brain walked away, trying his best to participate in small talk. Things seemed to look up when the Mime arrived. 

“I suppose making small talk with someone who can’t talk back is better than not making small talk at all.” Brain pondered. 

“You there, Mime!” Brain approached the silent performer. The Mime looked back at Brain and smiled back, giving him a friendly wave. The mouse’s self-esteem was starting to rebound. 

“Say, do you want to hear a science joke?” Brain asked. The Mime gave an eager nod in response. 

“Okay, well here it goes: One tectonic plate was walking along, bumps into another tectonic plate and said ‘Oops, sorry, my fault!’” Brain began to laugh heartily at his own joke, closing his eyes as he chuckled. 

Once his laughter wore off, Brain looked over at the Mime simply shook his head while wearing a confused frown, shaking his head. The mouse assumed that the Mime did not get the joke. 

The Brain felt defeated and gave a beleaguered sigh. “Well, I apologize for wasting your time.” The small mouse placed his hands into his pockets and walked off. 

The intelligent mouse felt lost. With no plan for world domination to focus on, there was no important reason to mingle with the other guests. He decided to find the Warners and seek companionship from them. But he was disappointed when he witnessed the three keeping Ralph occupied in an intense game of ‘Monkey in the Middle’. The Warners wore mischievous smiles as they threw the security guard’s cap around much to the frustration of the bumbling officer. Brain could not bring himself to join in their merriment. Without his robotic man-suit, he could not possibly bring any meaningful contribution to the fun and would only stick out as a useless fifth wheel. 

And he did not have the courage to try to strike up a friendly conversation with the other party-goers. His brief talks with Rita Norita and The Mime were proof that even when he shared his interests and musings to them, they could never reciprocate because they’re not on the same intellectual wavelength as he was. 

No, he was only fooling himself. Perhaps the reason why felt high and dry was that he just could not relate to other people. 

Brain watched Pinky, now back in his Christmas-themed dress, entertaining a few guests with his spit bubbles. The small group laughed at his ridiculous display. The taller mouse was completely in his element, charming people with his ‘fun-fun silly-willy’ antics. That feeble-minded fool made it look so easy. 

“Perhaps Pinky is better off with other people.” 

Brain furiously shook his head at the awful thought. “No, no, no. You’re just exhausted from attempting to socialize, that’s all.” He told himself. “Yes. All I need is a break, a place where I could temporarily wind down and recharge my energy before returning to the festivities.” 

Brain walked down the hall in search for a place to ponder. 

As he wandered down the hallway, he discovered an empty recreation room complete with a billiards table, a dart board, a stack of used board games, and a leather sofa. The pool table was pristine, with the fifteen balls gathered in their triangular shape and the cue ball standing on the other side. Brain decided to take the opportunity to play a game of pool against himself. The mouse picked up an unsharpened pencil from the bureau, climbed up the leg of the pool table and made his way to the top. 

The mouse hopped off the wooden edge and onto the green walked baize, the tender felt brushing up against his feet with each step. Once he approached the cue ball, the mouse used the unsharpened end of the pencil and struck the white ball as hard as he could. He was not surprised that the cue ball lightly struck the top third of the fifteen balls ever so slightly.

“This is going to take a while…” Brain muttered to himself. “Fortunately, I don’t have anything better to do.” 

The mouse observed the playing field, and noticed a solid red ball lingering near a corner pocket. Charging his pencil against the cue ball much harder this time, he saw the white ball glide down the table, hitting the red ball right into the pocket. Now all he had to do was strike the other solid-color balls into the pockets. 

Fifteen minutes had passed since he started his solitary game of pool, and he only had three balls left. Wiping off the beads of sweat from his forehead, he looked over at the clock that was perched above the sofa. The mouse doubted that the other party-goers would be aware of his absence. Maybe Pinky would be too busy mingling with the other guests to even realize that he was gone. 

“Some party, huh?” 

Brain was startled at the sudden inquiry, his ears perking upwards. He turned around only to find Yakko Warner leaning against the doorway.

“Yakko….” The mouse grumbled. He feared that the boy would continue teasing him by bringing up the incident under the mistletoe. “Shouldn’t you be off terrorizing a certain psychiatrist?”

“Oh, you mean Dr. Scratchinsniff? He won’t be dropping by until around seven.” The eldest Warner sibling explained as he waltzed into the room. “So what are you doing here all by your lonesome?”

“As a reserved and introverted soul, social gatherings aren’t my cup of tea.” Brain confessed. “If world domination was on the line, then I would be more involved. But being forced to make idle prattle with co-workers in a secluded space can be quite tiresome.” 

“I gotcha.” Yakko nodded, seeming to understand Brain’s plight. 

“And how did someone as sociable as yourself wander astray from the festivities?” Brain inquired. 

“I had to use the john.” Yakko answered frankly, pointing his thumb towards the door. “I was going to return to the party, but I heard the sound of a pool game going on and just had to investigate.” 

“Excellent detective work, Hercule Yakko.” Brain remarked, to which Yakko chuckled in response. 

“Say, can I join in?” The eldest Warner asked as he walked over to the racks. “It’s been a while since I played pool and you look like you could use a little company.” 

“The more the merrier.” Brain dryly responded as he struck the cue ball with his pencil. 

Yakko found a suitable cue stick and walked over beside Brain. He observed the pool table, noting the striped balls outnumbered the solid balls. 

“So I’ll be aiming for the striped ones then?” Yakko asked. 

“Correct.” Brain responded defeatedly. While he wished to finish up his solo game, he didn’t have it in him to tell the eldest Warner to leave. 

Yakko carefully aimed his cue rack at the cue ball and fired away. He managed to hit two striped balls straight into the pocket. He then made another successful shot and hit two more striped balls into the opposite pocket. Feeling confident and theatrical, Yakko turned around and managed to hit another striped ball into a pocket without looking. He looked over at the playing field and back at The Brain. “Well, you got trouble my friend.” He quipped. 

Brain looked up at Yakko for a moment before looking back at the pool with a grimace. After a moment of awkward silence, the eldest Warner spoke up again “Get it? Because we’re playing pool and I was referring to-”

“Yes, yes, I’ve seen The Music Man before Yakko, there’s no need to explain the joke.” Brain interrupted. 

“So was the joke not funny?” Yakko asked with a twinge of worry. 

“The joke was perfectly fine.” Brain assured upon noticing the boy’s sudden anxiousness. “I’m simply frustrated with my current state in the game and fear that the outcome won’t be in my favor.” 

“Oh, is it because you’re a mouse? I can try to make some accommodations so that we’re playing on even grounds.” Yakko kindly suggested. 

“No, no. The last thing I want is to be patronized and pitied.” Brain snapped, sounding more harsh than he intended. 

Yakko backed off upon seeing the mouse’s frustration.“Okay, whatever floats your boat.” He replied defensively. 

Brain’s face softened a bit, feeling guilty that he was a bit too hard on the boy. “If it’s any consolation, I have problems with my joke deliveries as well.” Brain lamented. “I tried telling The Mime a science joke earlier, but it fell flat.” 

“Which one?” Yakko queried out of curiosity. 

Brain fought his insecurities and mustered up the courage to tell the joke again. “One tectonic plate was walking around, he bumps into another tectonic plate and said-”

“‘Oops, I’m sorry, my fault’!” Yakko enthusiastically joined in as the punchline was delivered. The boy clapped his hands and started chuckling. “Ah, natural disaster humor.” 

Brain softly smiled. Yakko missed this time around and Brain hopped back on the table, figuring out the best course of action to keep up with Yakko’s pool playing. After a couple minutes of playing in companionable silence, the intelligent mouse decided to throw an ice-breaker question to liven the mood. 

“So Yakko, how have you and your siblings been doing lately?” The Brain asked in earnest. 

“We’ve been doing swell!” Yakko answered in a chipper tone. “I mean, sure, we had our fair of challenges adapting to the current trends after being frozen in suspended animation for twenty-two years, but what can ya do?”

Brain looked a little concerned at the boy. The last time he and Pinky saw the Warners was in 1998, when they attended a cast party after filming of Wakko’s Wish had wrapped. During those years, Brain was consumed with his contributions to the age of the internet while Pinky attended his therapy sessions. All that time spent focusing on his world domination scheme and he forgot about his fellow cast members and all the good times they shared together. When Brain and Pinky received the fateful phone call from Warner Brothers that they and the Warners would be the only returning cast members for the Animaniacs reboot, he was worried that they would be mad at him for not keeping in touch. But when they arrived on set, the Warners were simply happy to see them again. But the Brain lost his train of thought when he heard Yakko speak up again. 

“Not to mention the staggering amount of pop culture we’ve missed out on.” Yakko added. “Hey, did you know that there were two movie adaptations of How The Grinch Stole Christmas within the span of two decades?”

“Oh I’m well aware of that. Pinky actually dragged me to see both movies in the theaters.” Brain recalled. “And as you would expect, the feeble-minded fool thought they were cinematic masterpieces.” 

“Outside of trying to stay relevant, we’ve been doing some fun sibling projects on the side, like this sculpture of Giuseppe Acrimboldo made entirely out of fruit!” Yakko happily reminisced.

“You mean, the famous sixteenth century Italian mannerist portrait artist Giuseppe Acrimboldo?” Brain inquired enthusiastically. 

“Yeah, I managed to get a picture before that awful bun infestation got to him.” Yakko grabbed his phone and showed a picture of their sculpture. 

“That’s quite impressive.” Brain marveled. While the mouse was not present during the awful bun infestation, he had heard stories of the incident from his co-workers. He could only imagine Pinky having a field day with the mass quantities of bunnies.

“I even had a whole song written about him too!” Yakko added. 

“Well, I’m always eager to hear another one of your classic educational ditties, Yakko.” Brain encouraged. “I’m all ears.” 

“I would if I could, but I forgot the majority of the lyrics.” Yakko forlornly replied. He picked up his cue rack and strategically planned his next move. 

“Oh..” Bran uttered. The mouse tried to find another topic to bring up, but couldn’t help but think about the Warner siblings being locked away from the world for the second time. The mouse tried to bring up the topic as delicately as he could. 

“Forgive me for prying, but can I ask you a question concerning your 22 year absence.” Brain carefully inquired. 

“Sure!” Yakko acknowledged as he struck the cue ball, hitting the eight ball into the pocket and winning the game.

“Do you recall anything during your hibernation?” The mouse questioned. 

“No, not really. The only thing I could remember was what happened before. After Wakko’s Wish wrapped, some studio bigwigs came up to me and my sibs. We were given the choice to either be cryogenically frozen or to be locked in the tower again. After thinking it over, I decided that being frozen in suspended animation was the better option. And the process wasn’t all that bad. It was like taking a really long nap.” Yakko answered truthfully. “And let me tell you, being frozen was a walk in the park compared to being trapped in the water tower for over sixty years.” 

Brain’s ears drooped when he heard the sadness laced in Yakko’s voice. 

“I love my sibs and would risk my life for them, but it was really hard having to watch over them without any assistance from the adults for decades.” The boy confessed. “I mean, I managed to get by just fine, but it was neither a bed or roses nor a pleasure cruise. During those years I had to come up with different ways to entertain my sibs and keep them occupied. I didn’t want them to start thinking about whether or not people missed them or were even aware that they’ve been cooped up for so long. One could say being trapped in that tower felt like-”

“Being an animal in a cage.” Brain quietly finished, feeling a deep sense of empathy for the boy. 

Yakko stared at the mouse, amazed by how understanding he was of his past trauma. “Well, yeah…” 

The Brain drew in a long breath and exhaled. “Believe it or not, I understand where you’re coming from.” He confessed, sitting on the edge of the pool table and holding the pencil in his arms.

The mouse could not believe what he was doing. In any other circumstance, Brain would never open up to his co-workers about his feelings or the past traumas he endured. Opening up meant being vulnerable. Being vulnerable meant feeling helpless and without control. He gripped the pencil tightly at the thought of not being completely in charge of himself. But Brain fought against his need to put up defensive barriers and decided to reveal his miserable and pitiful past if it meant providing the boy with some sense of solidarity. 

“I was once a young field mouse who lived a carefree and happy existence with my parents out in the wild.” Brain reminisced. “But I was separated from my family at a tender age when a group of Acme Lab scientists abducted me from my tin-can home. From that day forward, I was imprisoned in the laboratory where I was subjected to cruel, emotionally-scarring experiments and used as fodder in the name of science and human curiosity.” His voice trembled as he exposed his past to the eldest Warner, but he soldiered on. 

“The first friend I ever made was a hamster named Snowball, but when we went through the gene splicer, it had different effects on us. I gained advanced intelligence, while Snowball went mad with power, and we had a terrible falling out. But when it seemed that I was doomed to live the rest of my days isolated in the lab…” Brain paused for a moment and then continued. “But one day, a new lab mouse brought over to live with me in my cage. It was at that moment that Pinky entered into my life and...well, the rest is history.” He explained with a sad smile. 

Yakko listened in with sympathetic ears. He never thought that anyone could relate to the pain of having his freedom stripped away and being locked against his will. But he also admired the mouse’s courage to tell his story anyways. 

“Pinky really was my saving grace.” Brain admitted, aware of the affection in his tone. “His presence made being stuck in the lab more bearable. Sure, he may be imbecilic and dim-witted, but he’s also loyal, compassionate, and the best friend I could ever ask for.” After praising Pinky’s positive aspects, Brain’s smile slowly faded. “But sometimes I wonder why Pinky would want to be my friend, and other times where I feel like I don’t deserve to be his friend.” 

“Well, how come?” Yakko cautiously inquired. 

“Years ago, I promised Pinky that if I ruled the world, I would make it into a better place. A kinder place for social outcasts and marginalized individuals like him. But after so many years of trying and putting in the work, my destiny is still far from reach. And yet, he’s still standing by my side. It’s just...I don’t know what Pinky sees in me.” Brain sadly explained as he cradled the pencil in his arms. “Perhaps he’s much better off without me…” He sighed, letting the awful confession escape his lips. 

Yakko sadly frowned at the downtrodden mouse, but he quickly knew how to cheer him up. “Oh I wouldn’t be so sure about that.” 

“Well why not?” The mouse somberly asked. 

“Maybe the reason why Pinky is attached to the hip is because he loves you.” Yakko suggested. 

“Perhaps he does. His unquestioning loyalty to me is proof of that.” Brain pondered aloud. 

“...and that you love him back.” Yakko added with a sly smile. 

“What?” Brain cried out, sharply turning his head to face Yakko. “That’s preposterous! I don’t love Pinky, I merely….tolerate him.”

“Uh huh,” Yakko nodded, not buying his co-worker’s fib. “I guess your toleration must be pretty strong then.” 

Yakko placed the cue stick on the side of the pool and walked over towards the mouse.“I mean, who else would sacrifice their chance at world domination on Christmas, go to the depths of h-e-double hockey sticks to save the guy after he sold his soul so you could rule the world, reunite him with his entire family after years of separation, save him from quicksand by embracing your wild side, teach him about the Constitution and upholding the values that make up our country’s democracy, and tend to his aid after the poor guy got pulverized by some crummy humans.” The eldest Warner detailed as he counted all of Brain’s deeds on each finger. Brain’s ears drooped as he heard him recall all of his past heroics when it came to helping the friend he loved so dearly. 

“That’s going above and beyond for someone you merely tolerate, don’t you think?” Yakko concluded. 

“W-who told you all that?” Brain blurted in disbelief. 

“Pinky did.” Yakko answered honestly. “Why, just a few minutes after you left, Pinky started talking about all the great and amazing things you did for him. If you don’t believe me, the proof is in the pudding.” He fished out his phone from his pocket and showed Brain a video, with Pinky’s gleaming smile on the thumbnail. Yakko pressed play. 

Pinky was gathered around a few of the party guests on the couch. Wakko and Dot sat closely by his left, and Jay Pac Le East Tha Rapper by his right. 

“Poit! And when it came down to choosing the world or me, Brain chose me and decided to compete in rhythmic gymnastics to save my soul!” Pinky explained enthusiastically to his enchanted audience. “Oh you should have seen Brain! He looked so stunning in his marvelous blue spandex, prancing about oh so gracefully with his string-on-a-stick, and he scored a perfect ten! But that awful, no-good Mr. Itch cheated by rigging the competition in his favor and it seemed like Brain and I were doomed to be separated forever!”

Wakko and Dot gasped in shock and instinctively grabbed onto each other for comfort. Even Jay Pac was deeply invested in the story. 

“But it turned out that he didn’t deliver on his original promise to give me my radish rose whatchamawhozit, so I was able to be with Brain again!” Pinky happily concluded. 

Wakko stood up and applauded. “Oh how I love a happy ending!” 

“Wow, my respect for Brain just went through the roof.” Jay Pac commented. 

“You know, I never realized how cool Brain was until just now.” Dot admitted. 

“He sure is!” Pinky gushed. “Brain is smart, he never gives up on his dreams, he wants what’s best for the world, and he’s the best friend I could ever ask for. Zort! I love him so much, and I know that he loves me too!” 

“Pinky, can you tell us another story about The Brain?” Wakko asked enthusiastically, like a child wanting to hear another bedtime story. 

“Pretty please, Pinky!!” Dot begged, giving her cutest pout and fluttering her puppy-dog eyes. 

“Of course!” Pinky answered gleefully as he leapt up in the air and landed back on the couch. “Oh! I should tell you all about the time he helped me reunite with my mum, my dad, and my sis!”

As the video ended, tears started to pool in Brain’s eyes. He roughly scrubbed them away before they could fall, not allowing himself to become more vulnerable than he already felt. “Perhaps I don’t just tolerate him. Dare I say, I even like Pinky.” Brain half-confessed. He knew that he loved Pinky dearly, but he would never bring himself to verbalize his feelings. 

“Actions speak louder than words, buddy.” Yakko retorted. “But I totally get where you’re comin’ from, though. Wakko and Dot mean the world to me.” 

“Even though you wrestled your own sibling over something as petty as taking the last of your favorite appetizer?” Brain mentioned sardonically. 

“Alright, so I have a problem managing my Cain instinct, guilty as charged.” Yakko answered. 

“Sure, we drive each other bonkers sometimes, but at the end of the day, they’re still my sibs and I love them more than they could even know.” The boy smiled as he talked about his dearest siblings. 

“But I still can’t help but wonder, what might happen in the future, after the reboot.” Yakko pondered with concern. “What if Wakko and Dot decide to go out in the world and do their own thing? Would they still need me? Would they want me around? And I don’t know how I’d do without ‘em because they’re the only family I’ve got.” 

Brain felt his heart go out to Yakko. While the boy can be a nuisance and a smart alec, there was a lot of good in him. But he could also understand the boy’s fears. Yakko was as strongly attached to his siblings and his whole life revolved maintaining that relationship. The mouse pondered to himself until he found the best way to alleviate the boy’s worries. 

The small mouse walked over to the eldest Warner brother and gently placed his hand on top of his. “Well, there may come a time when the three of you will go your separate ways and lead  independent lives, but no matter how far apart you are, you’ll always maintain that strong familial bond.” 

Yakko gave Brain an intrigued look. “What makes you so sure?” 

“Pinky and I raised a son together.” Brain answered with a small smile. 

“Since when?” Yakko asked with a baffled look on his face. 

“It happened back in the late 90s. Roman Numeral One, or Romy for short. I initially planned to make a clone of myself and use him for global conquest, but one of Pinky’s errant toenails was muddled in with my DNA sample, thus creating a clone that modeled after the two of us.” Brain explained, still smiling as he reminisced. “Once Romy reached the age of reason, he departed from the lab and moved on to make a life for himself. Fortunately, Pinky and I are still on good terms with our son, and we would call him every now and again, just to see how he’s doing. And even though our boy is out in the world pursuing his own dreams, we still love him dearly and learned to maintain our familial bond despite the long distance between us.”

“So whatever happens in the future, I’m certain that you and your siblings will still be as thick as thieves.” Brain assured, giving the eldest Warner sibling reassuring pats on his hand. Yakko smiled back at the mouse’s kind gesture.

“But if you’re still uncertain about the future, I’ll guarantee this to you,” Brain added. “If I become the ruler of- no, no. When I become the ruler of the world, my palace doors will always be open for you and your siblings. And if any of you ever feel lost or lonely, Pinky and I will be more than willing to grant you companionship.” Brain offered his small hand out to the boy. 

Yakko was eager with the proposition. “Well Brain, I was already rooting for you to take over the world, but now I’m twice as invested! You got yourself a deal!” The eldest Warner enthusiastically shook the mouse’s hand. The Brain gave a hearty chuckle, amazed at the boy’s excitement and encouragement. 

“And Brain,” Yakko looked at the small mouse. “I’m really glad we had this talk...and thanks for everything.” 

Brain could tell that Yakko rarely opened up about his personal issues and musings to others, so not to trouble them or cause concern. But he could tell just how grateful the boy was for understanding and providing him with the comfort he needed. 

“You’re welcome, Yakko.” Brain quietly replied. 

“Well, I think that’s enough emotionally heavy conversations for one night.” Yakko commented, trying to sound as laid-back as possible. 

“Agreed. You know, I think I’m ready to return to the party and make a more admirable attempt at socializing.” Brain said with confidence. 

“That’s the spirit!” Yakko praised, giving him a thumbs up. 

As Brain and Yakko were putting away the billiards equipment, they heard three sets of footsteps approaching the rec room. Sure enough, it was Pinky, followed by Wakko and Dot. 

“Oh, there you two are! Narf!” Pinky exclaimed. 

“So this is where you two have been.” Dot addressed her brother and the mouse. 

“Yep, just us guys playing some pool.” Yakko answered half-honestly as he gestured towards his smaller companion. “You could say that we were getting along swimmingly.” 

Upon hearing the dad joke, Wakko and Dot retrieved their pun guns and shot their older brother on sight. Brain saw the yellow lasers fly through the room and hit Yakko, causing him to fall over on impact. The mouse looked on with concern. 

“I’m fine.” Yakko assured The Brain despite the obvious pain he was in. 

Brain returned his attention to his roommate and the other Warner siblings. “So what shenanigans have you three rascals been up to during our absence?” He inquired. 

“We gained access to the CEO’s movie screening room!” Dot answered. 

“There’s a big screen tv, a comfy leather couch, a snack bar, and everything!” Wakko added enthusiastically.

“Good work sibs!” Yakko complimented as he got back up on his feet. 

“Troz! And now that we found you two, we can all go there and watch The Grinch together!” Pinky joyfully declared. 

“Which one?” Yakko and The Brain asked in unison, knowing that there were multiple adaptations of the classic story and both secretly hoping that it was the 1966 animated special.

“The animated one, of course!” Pinky cheerfully replied.

“You need to be more specific, Pinky.” Brain added, praying that his friend was referring to the classic television special as opposed to the bland Illumination movie. 

“Oh, it’s the one with the Boris Karloff narration and the lovely songs!” Pinky gushed as he hugged himself. 

“Thank Heavens.” Brain replied, relieved that his roommate was referring to the former. “We would be delighted to accompany you three, right Yakko?”

“Oh absolutely!” Yakko replied. He carefully picked up Brain and placed him in the palm of his left hand before walking over to the others. He then knelt down and offered Pinky a ride on his right hand, to which he happily accepted. 

As Yakko followed his younger siblings to the private theater, he joined his hands together, bridging the divide between the two laboratory mice. Pinky immediately leapt over to Brain, enveloping him in a warm and welcoming hug. Brain decided not to recoil from Pinky’s affection and accepted the embrace. 

“Oh it’s good to see you again Brain!” Pinky exclaimed. “I missed you so much since you left, and I was getting worried that I was never going to see you again.” 

“It’s good to see you too, Pinky.” Brain kindly remarked. “I just needed to recharge after socializing. You know that I would never abandon my best friend in the whole world, right?”

“Your best friend? Where?” Pinky shouted worriedly as he looked over each shoulder.

Brain rolled his eyes at his friend’s stupidity. “It’s you, Pinky. In addition to being my roommate and my assistant, you’re my best friend in the whole world.”

“Naarf.” Pinky awed, his eyes glistening with wonder. Overwhelmed with joy, the taller mouse decided to give his intelligent roommate an extra squeeze. “Well what a coincidence! It just so happens that you’re my best friend in the whole world, Brain!” 

“I know, Pinky.” Brain muttered as he patted the taller mouse’s back. “I know.” 

Unbeknownst to both mice, the Warners smiled warmly as they witnessed the sweet exchange. 

The Warners and the lab mice entered the private theater. Dot retrieved Pinky and the two went over to the couch, where she placed a pillow over her lap, giving Pinky a place to sit. Brain managed to get the Blu-Ray player running as Wakko grabbed a stockpile of snacks. Yakko turned off the lights to provide a more theatrical experience. Yakko carefully held Brain as he plopped down on the couch, sitting between his younger siblings. Yakko moved his hand over to Dot, who gently held Brain before placing him on the pillow alongside Pinky.

As the Christmas special started, Pinky scooted over to Brain to sit closer to him. Feeling Pinky’s presence and taking into account that they were nearly enveloped in darkness, Brain lifted himself and placed a gentle kiss on Pinky’s cheek. After settling himself back down, he carefully wrapped his arm around his roommate’s waist and pulled him closer. The taller mouse was taken aback by his roommate’s actions. Pinky stared at his best friend, who lovingly gazed at him with a soft smile. Brain couldn’t verbalize the love he held for Pinky, but he hoped his kind physical gestures spoke a thousand words. Pinky beamed at Brain in response and wrapped his arm around him. The two mice continued to gaze into each other’s eyes for a few moments longer before returning their attention to the television. 

Additional AN: Looking back on Animaniacs and the Pinky and the Brain spin-off as a person in her late-twenties, I’ve become fully aware of how both The Brain and Yakko deeply care about their loved ones to the point where they’re scared of the thought of being separated from them or seeing them hurt in any way. 

Yakko is so attached to Wakko and Dot, pretty much raised them at the tender age of 14, so I feel like he would have this lingering fear of being alone. Whether he’s separated from them or has the idea that they wouldn’t need him anymore. The reboot establishes Yakko’s insecurities of caring about what other people think and that he may not be as funny as he presents himself to be. I found this to be a fascinating aspect of his character, and I wanted to play around with that in the fic. 

The Brain, on the other hand, loves Pinky. Even if he can’t bring himself to admit it due to how emotionally constipated he is, his actions speak for him. Brain reading Pinky’s letter to Santa and being so moved that Pinky thinks so highly of him and is so supportive of him that he backs out of taking over the world even though he had the whole world under his command, The Brain literally going to hades to bring Pinky back because being the ruler of the world isn’t the same without him, Brain going out of his way to reunite Pinky with his family (even if it was for a scheme) and even using the gene splicer on them so they could understand each other, and Brain tending to Pinky’s aid when he’s beaten up by humans for being a mouse and changing his motives of world conquest to make the world and better and kinder place for Pinky and others who feel small. The reboot also has more moments where Brain chooses Pinky over a future version of himself, rescuing Pinky from being enslaved by a power-hungry toddler, and even trying to comfort him the best he could after his monster wife ran off with the other monster and the two of them perished upon falling down. There are also a lot of great hints of a slow-burn romance between the two, but I’m getting ahead of myself there. 

The biggest challenge I had writing this story that followed the lore of the characters. One headcanon I played around with is that Pinky and the Brain work as part-time actors and that the majority of the skits (especially the history-based ones) were made for the show, while the events that took place in Pinky and the Brain spin-off and certain episodes from the reboot (Of Mice and Memes,Future Brain, and Roadent Trip) actually occurred in the show’s universe. 

Also there are aspects of the reboot that I purposefully left out, such as Brain being super evil and Pinky being a passive enabler(*cough cough* episodes 3 and 8 *cough cough*) and Pinky having daddy issues since they conflict with their established characterizations from the PATB spin-off. 

I also wanted to provide some sort of explanation as to what the Warners were up to during the past 22 years. So I figured that having them frozen in suspended animation was the more logical choice. I also came up with the idea that they had to choose between staying frozen or being locked in the water tower again for added drama. 

Overall, I had a lot of fun writing this story. It’s been a long time since I last publicly published fanfiction since there was a lot going on in my personal life and I was too busy and I didn’t feel entirely motivated to write. But upon rewatching old episodes of Pinky and the Brain, Animaniacs, and watching season one of the Animaniacs reboot has reawakened my creative muse and motivated me to write, and I do plan on writing more stories centered around these characters. 

Please leave a review if you can! Thanks for reading!

[chamomileteainabuttercup]

Random thoughts while watching The Book of Boba Fett S1E01 - spoilers obviously

I do mean it about the spoilers

Okay, I hope that this dream-sequence refresher on Boba finding Jango's helmet will FINALLY (I realise it won't because it's a Mandela Effect thing) stop people saying that Boba found a helmet with his father's severed head in it! The head fell out! He found an empty helmet! He held it and pressed his head to it in a keldabe kiss because it was all he had to say goodbye to and in an important symbolic way it was his father!

Pardon my screencap, but we can see through the lower part of the tinted glass visor. The helmet is empty.

POOR LITTLE BABY

ah now it's Innards Time

and Boba's going to have to MacGyver himself a way out

looks like that was actually relatively simple, if deeply unpleasant, and they haven't gone with the whole prolonged psychic digestion torture thing from Legends (which would probably have been harder to show than to write about) - also no broken arm or severed leg

and here come the Jawas to pick the poor fella clean and provide Cobb Vanth with new duds a little while later

okay so was Boba already bald at this point in his life, or did they take that helmet away with a lot of shed hair in it?

here come the Tuskens, TO BE HIS FRIENDS I HOPE

poor Boba lying there all crusty

they gave him a worm to drink

not very friends alas

would someone please give Boba some aloe vera and a cold drink

these are very ill-behaved children and I disapprove of these child-rearing methods, give them some proper toys!

am also disappoint if they're going to go with Tusken savagery clichés

Boba you are provoking the doggo

bop it on the head, then pet it - you have curious priorities sir

so is this an earn their respect with a duel thing

well, he may be earning their respect if they really respect the ability to take a licking

so Boba talks to Fennec about his dreams?

GETTING DRESSED MONTAGE OOOH

you guys need an INTERPRETER I think you KNOW A GUY who's good at that! and he's cute too

Boba says "we need a protocol droid," but what is the droid announcing the guests if not a protocol droid?

so the mayor says "fuck you" by proxy

I enjoyed this guy's flowery gestures

tortured squeals are not cool, this is perhaps not a protocol droid but an asshole droid

since when does Tatooine use Japanese titles like Daimyo?

MAX REBO

WE HAVE MAX REBO

YOU'RE LOOKING WELL MAX REBO

isn't that guy from the Modal Nodes - collab?

you're just going to let strangers handle your helmet, Boba? what if they put nits in it?

chocolate coins!

here come the silver boob ninjas

and the Gamorreans are here to help - I appreciate that no effort is being made to make them look any less rubber suit-y than they always have

thus far it looks like a good idea to keep those guys on the payroll

PARKOUR FENNEC

Fennec takes a minimalist approach to "alive"

I like Boba's black shirt

dunked him straight back into his flashback!

the black shirt is a lot more becoming than the dingy off-white boiler suit

and you're showing your prisoners this unplesaantness why, shitty kid with a red scarf?

Boba addresses someone as "mate," I am very happy

this seems like a really inefficient way to harvest black melons, I guess I always assumed you got your doggies to snuffle them out like truffle pigs (or of course truffle dogs which are a thing)

well, there's a grabby beast neath the sand

nobody needed this in their day

DON'T HIT THE DOGGO

the shitty kid may not be altogether shitty

I would enjoy this monster more if it were more claymationy but it has an agreeable Harryhausenesque quality

ah, the ol' strangle a monster with the chains in which you are imprisoned move, now I'm not saying that's a Princess Leia original, but he did have the opportunity to see her in action not long ago

so this is how you make friends with the Tuskens? give them a monster head

to be fair, it is a cool monster head

HUM DA DUM HUM DA DUM

okaaaaaay some of these concept paintings had Boba a lot more SCANTILY CLAD while imprisoned (appreciate how Boba in his jocks is accompanied by the costume designer's credit)

Okay, overall I enjoyed that, but I feel like it might have been more satisfying to launch with a one-hour session to give us more meat to chew on. That, or give us a full episode of flashback and save the errands for next week.

Unfortunately they did not use my idea of opening with the barge fight scene from Return of the Jedi, then a record scratch/freeze frame and Boba narrating "Yep, that's me. You're probably wondering how I got into this situation."

WHO DID MATT BERRY PLAY. He was first credited "in order of appearance." was he the sarlacc

[talk-to-the-mercs]

Audio From R.E.D Base #32

Administrator: …

Miss Pauling: M’am, I -

Administrator: [shortly] Save it.

[Silence]

Administrator: I already give you so little. I trust you with all the bits and pieces that I don’t have the time nor the lack of self-respect to do myself. But, Pauling, you have one thing going for you. You do them well. You amuse me with how hard you work at such menial tasks. It’s like it’s your entire life. Oh, wait - it is.

Miss Pauling: Administrator, please -

Administrator: [voice rising] Which makes this whole debacle all the more disappointing. I indulge you in your little passion project, and you lose control of the entire team. The delicate balance of Mann Co. has been broken by what I believe to be these otherworldly…children. What amounts to some cosmic fourth grade science project - and you have allowed yourself to become their guinea pig.

Miss Pauling: I didn’t -

Administrator: [exasperated] You were made for this position, Pauling. Your sole purpose is this team. You didn’t come here to make friends. Socializing was not in your curriculum. Hell, the fact that you can even connect to those ingrates at a basic level is nothing short of a miracle, let alone grow so attached to them. I could never understand that about you. How you latched onto things like a baby monkey. It’s the only thing we couldn’t train out of you.

Miss Pauling: [stammering] There…there must be someone you - ?

Administrator: When I was five years old, I was gifted a small tabby kitten. I named it Captain Kitty Kirk. We kept the animal in the basement, and I went down to feed it every day. One morning, I came down to find that Captain had died of the black mold growing on the walls. My father kept and stuffed its head for my next birthday.

Miss Pauling: I’m sorry, m’am -

Administrator: Six years old. I had a crush on a stupid little freckled girl with pigtails that hung from her head like dead ferrets. I wrote her a poem for Valentine’s Day, which I read in front of the class. Not only did she turn me down, but that was the final nail in my popularity coffin. I became the town’s outcast.

Miss Pauling: I had no idea -

Administrator: Ten years old. My mother left after she found out my father had two other wives and six girlfriends. Twelve years old. I was goaded into a physical relationship with my teacher because they had told my father they’d pay an hourly fee. Sixteen years old. A couple that were regulars at the motel I worked and lived out of called the police - not to help me, you understand, but because they thought the fact I ran away from home made me an ungrateful brat, and that my miserable life hadn’t been punishment enough. Twenty-one. A local doctor. Twenty-five. My father again. Thirty. A trucker at a gas station. Thirty-six. An anchor from a local news station. Thirty-seven. A circus clown that I had grown fond of.

Miss Pauling: [quietly] M’am -

Administrator: The list goes on, Pauling. I could write a novel about it. An encyclopedia. I learned early that trust and loyalty are only there to fool the lower class into submission while those of us with half a brain move on to higher things. It’s the difference between a house with a picket fence and everything you could ever want being at your fingertips. [sigh] You have such potential. But you waste it all on other people. People who will suck you dry and then kick you aside like a soda can.

Miss Pauling: …

Administrator: Do you understand, Miss Pauling?

Miss Pauling: [shakily] Yes, m’am.

Administrator: Pardon?

Miss Pauling: [swallowing] Yes, Administrator.

[END OF TRANSMISSION]

[7soulstars]

Emerging of Kalon

Request: I need some new johnny depp fics in my life where I want a reader with insecurities and johnny reassuring her that he loves her the way she is.Maybe she is a bit more chubby than his past gfs and she has to wears glasses.Abd thanx so much for accepting it.

Yooo this imagine is soo important to me. As a person who had a lot of insecurities and has suffered through depression.It is really important for me to spread a certain message to others like me. I have this belief that you aren’t born with insecurities,you are made to have them.Don’t point out things to people that would make them uncomfortable in the long term guys it becomes quite scarring for them and it also makes you a damn bully. Also it is normal to have stretch marks, tummy rolls ,acne, scars ,body hair and all that stuff, Man or Woman or any other gender you identify as.That’s what makes you human.If people can’t accept you for who you are please cut them out of your life.Ya’ll beautiful and I love ya’ll. Hope you like this !!

................

Pairing : Johnny Depp x Reader

Warnings : TW,Nosy people who like putting others down for fun, Signs of depression,Suicide attempt,Angst,Swearing, Fluff, Johnny being the absolute sweetheart he is.

................

Kalon ;Latin for ideal beauty in all, physical ,spiritual and moral forms

1.Instigation.

“I still can’t believe THE Johnny Depp went for you after his past ones”,said someone snapping her out of her trance.”Pardon ?”,she asked as if to confirm whether she heard him right . “I mean look at you....His exes were all supermodels weren’t they? Not a single flaw..”,the man guffawed.”Well you have have a micropenis why did your wife choose you?”,her bestfriend snapped crudely making her cringe.”Let’s go Y/N “, Y/BF/N said dragging she out of the restaurant .Well this wasn’t how I wanted college reunion to end up like,thanks Nathan she thought. “Are you alright Y/N ?”, Y/BF/N asked. “Of course”. No I’m not. “It doesn’t bother me at all.” It bothers me too much. “Nathan’s a dick .Don’t let it get to your head EVER”. But he’s right, his words are already in my head. “Yeah...”

2.The disquieting

“Hey glasses ! Looking ugly as always.”

“Look at her hogging like a pig, hey fatty you want more?”

“Darling why don’t you try going on a diet.”

“Don’t watch telly, you’re blind enough already”

“Jason what do you think of Y/N ?” “Damn man she was not even my type”

“Please Stop !”, Y/N woke up with a jerk, breathing in short gasps .”Johnny-”,she stops cutting herself off as she looked at the empty looked at the empty side on her bed. He isn’t in the country she remembered . Silence. She stared at the framed picture of them together on the wall. Plip. A tear fell. Plip Plip. Two more,before she couldn’t control it any more. The past wouldn’t change.She knew it would haunt her forever. But they had stopped for a while. But since Nathan ,it came back harder than ever. She didn’t tell Johnny, she’d never tell him , the last thing she wanted to do is to become a larger burden. So she cried herself to sleep every single day.

3.Repressing

Y/BF/N frowned as she looked at Y/N’s lunch. “Since when do you eat salads ?Hell,that isn’t even salad it’s just *ugh* lettuce....”,she says looking at the leafy stuff with absolute disgust. Y/N looked at her as if she did not understand what she was saying “I love salads,you know what? I’m not that hungry.....better get back to work! See you later!”,she said leaving as she didn’t even let the other speak. Starving, Hurting, Looking into the mirror and hating herself. The cycle continued.This was going to be dangerous in the days to come and she knew that too. 

4.Avoiding

6 missed calls from Mom

19 missed calls and 87 messages from Y/BF/N

40 missed calls and 150 messages from Johnny 

3 notifications from Twitter. 

No one had seen her in 4 days .The telly changed channels at Johnny’s apartment .Things scattered around as a trembling hand set down the remote . Fat tears dampened the pillow as her eyes read the news headline. ‘Johnny Depp at a dinner date with ex wife Vanessa ? Is he finally done with his simple girlfriend ?’

5. Falling

This was it.She ended up the way she predicted she’d end up 10 years ago. Weak,Tired,Empty and Lonely. She stared at the bathtub as it filled itself until it was overfilled,water spilling out of its sides as it splashed onto her feet. She didn’t flinch at the coldness.She stayed robotically still, looking down at her palm. A blade. Without hesitating she got into the tub,the tap still running. She didn’t think anymore,tears wouldn’t fall even if they wanted to. She closed her eyes as she let her self go ,ignoring the frantic ringing of her phone and the banging on the apartment door.

6. Alerting

To say Johnny was concerned was an underestimation.Y/N wasn’t picking up his phone since several days .He was distracted, couldn’t concentrate and worry filled his entire existence.He didn’t know what to do,even going as far as asking his ex wife for advice.He decided to go back ,back to his girlfriend’s loving arms.

The moment he stepped back into the city he took his time.Picking out her favourie flowers ,the chocolate she always loved and a little something of importance. He ignored the notifications is phone was chiming with, his mind only full of thoughts of her....The thoughts were short lived , disturbed much to Johnny’s dismay by Y/BF/N’s call. He ignored once,ignored twice but after that he knew something was wrong.”Johnny !”, panicked voice spoke through the phone. A frown replacing the man’s smile “Did Y/N text you that absurd note too?” “No,wait Y/BF/N let me check”,he put the call on hold as his eyes skimmed over the words displayed on his screen. His phone now dropped on the car floor he wished all of it was a dream.They stopped as he stormed out, back to his apartment. He knocked wildly on the door but not a voice came nor a cackle. He threw his body on the door several times ,”Goddamitt Y/N OPEN THE FUCKING DOOR DON’T PLAY WITH ME RIGHT NOW !”.In his panicked feat he had forgotten he had the keys until they dropped out of his jacket pocket.He didn’t wait a moment as he fumbled it into the key hole ,kicking the door open as soon as it opened.

Silence. 

Splosh . The sound of water hitting the ground from the bathroom echoed in the whole house.

“Y/N ?”, Johnny softly whispered as he pushed open the bathroom door. A horrific scene unfolded before him.

7.Mourning

It had been two days and Johnny wouldn’t budge.He saw red that day and the site still wouldn’t leave his thoughts alone.He would neither eat,nor sleep as he sat beside his beloved girlfriend who lay on a hospital bed. Dark Enough by Amanda played on the radio. The text message, and the talk with Y/BF/N replayed in his head as if war replayed in a retired soldiers dreams. “I didn’t know you were hurting that bad”,he whispered, tears threatening to fall again. He place his head on her stomach as he let the silent tears fall,until her hand fell on top of his head.

8.Resuscitation  

Johnny jerked up ,his eyes as wide as saucers, as he froze with eyes full of pain and hurt.Y/N did not dare meet his gaze.She felt ashamed and disgusted. But those feelings were immediately replaced with shock as Johnny almost lunged at her,hugging her tight. “I was so scared I was so fucking scared when I saw that text and then you drowning in the red water filled in the bathtub ! I thought you’d left me ! I thought you died you weren’t breathing...How dare you think of yourself that way how dare you think you were not good enough !? You were the best fucking thing that happened to me since my kids goddammit !”. Y/N had never seen Johnny this mad.Hell, she had never even seen him cry. She didn’t know how to answer him, she was too ashamed.He wouldn’t break the hug, as if he would loose her if he did. He loved her too much. “Why ?”,he asked again,as if he was begging for an answer. Even a word. He just wanted to hear her voice. “I was scared...”,her voice cracked coming out much broken than she predicted. “ I didn’t think I deserved you, I thought I’d never reach the levels of those beautiful actresses and models.I was scared to tell you about my past..I was scared to bother you...”. Johnny’s heart broke. He never thought his Y/N would think that way. She was always smiling .Not even a little frown on her face. Always there for everyone. Yet no one comforted her. How could he never see it? Of course he couldn’t see it she was perfect to him.His Y/N was the most perfect person in the world. “I love you”, he blurted. He never said that.He was too shy. But he hugged her tighter ,” I love you so much. Even with scars,insecurities or that ugly face you make when you see things you do not like. You were, have and always will be the most perfect to me. Please....don’t do that again...”

9.Emergence

Y/N was discharged from the hospital in a few days. Johnny wouln’t leave her side. All his attention would be on her to see if ate well, and loved herself. Y/N felt safe. And she wasn’t wrong . Johnny was everything she deserved.

They sat on the rooftop of a cafe in Paris. A calm silence passing over them. “Y/N ?” ,Johnny asked. “Hmm?”,she hummed along, silence entailing after. ”Marry me ?”,he asked. That was the day Y/N was the most happiest, and did the beautifully emerged Kalon say yes? you’d ask. She said it without a second to spare. After all our Kalon had found her wings.

“No one is born ugly, we’re just born in a judgemental society”~ Kim Namjoon(BTS)

----The End----

Whew ! After all the procrastination and time I took brainstorming this baby is done! This was requested by the wonderful @anycsirp​ I really really hope you liked this ! Also I meant what I said before the start of this oneshot . YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL. PERIODT. Please do like and comment your opinions! I really hope to read em ! I’m not that great of a writer but I did my best ! 

~Love, Hri

[yn-dreamlife]

My Perfect Angel

Kai Chisaki (Overhaul) x (F) Reader 

Description: After enough people pointing out your insecurities and snap and ask Kai something you thought you never would. 

Based off of a tik-tok I saw by h0ney.cos there overhaul cosplay is really good! 

Warnings: insecure reader, sweet Kai, angst, fluff fluff fluff, angst again, bullying, reader is Overhauls age, chubby reader, catcalling turned to harassment, fat shaming, mentions of sex (not by Kai)

“Dammit Chisaki why wont you do it?!” I screamed at the man in front of me. 

“Why do you want me to so bad?!” He yelled back frustrated. I stood there staring at him chest heaving and heart pounding. 

“You don’t understand.” I whisper as I look down at the floor, silently begging the tears not to fall. Not now, not in front of him. I see as his shoes appear in front of me and then I feel his hands gently cup my cheeks.

“Then make me.” He whispers pleadingly as he looks into my eyes. 

As I walk down the market place, basket in hand there is a warmth in my chest. I had gotten everything off my checklist and I still had a little money left over! I could probably even buy Kai a little present. Just as I thought that his words from earlier rang in my head. 

“Remember if you want to get me a present just buy yourself something instead. I always love to see my angel happy, that alone is better than any gift in the world.” 

‘He always is such a charmer.’ A smile makes it’s way to my cheeks. And with that thought I head to a clothing store I passed on my way here. As I walk into the store I smile. 

Kai brought me here once, I remember he had pointed out a dress he said I would look beautiful in. By now it should be on sale and I might even have enough money to buy it as a surprise for him! 

As I look around the store I’m approached by a young teenage sales lady. 

“Hi can I help you?” She asks smiling at me, her voice was friendly but high pitched. I could tell it wasn’t her real voice, it was the voice all people in sales have. 

“Oh no im just looking for a dress my boyfriend pointed out to me a little while ago!” I said as I smiled back at her but it quickly vanishes once she speaks again. 

“Pfft boyfriend? Are you sure you’re in the right store?” She spoke raising an eyebrow, her voice no longer high and friendly and leaning more towards an accusatory tone. 

“I beg your pardon.” I said furrowing my brows, honestly I knew exactly what she meant I was just so taken aback by her rude behavior. 

“I’m pretty sure there’s a maternity store a few doors over.” My eyebrows shot up as she had a triumphant smirk on her face.

“How dare you!” I shout at her reeling my hand back to smack her before falling short as I saw people around us laughing while staring at me. 

“Go ahead,” she said opening her arms “hit me.” She looked at me challenging me. 

I was so angry I pulled a card I never pulled, “I would love to hear what my boyfriend said about this.” I said in a surprisingly calm voice as I crossed my arms.

“Aw you hear that? Shes gonna cry to her boyfriend about it!” The sales lady bust out laughing but it swiftly died the moment my next sentence hit her ears. 

“Yes Kai Chisaki, I wonder what he would do if he was here.” She stared at me wide eyed and the laughter from around the store died. 

“Kai Chisaki?” One oblivious woman whispered confused. 

“He’s the Yakuza, captain of the Shie Hassaikai.” Another whispered to her with a tremble in her voice. 

Everyone knew about Kai, or as he was better known Overhaul. And everyone knew he had a girlfriend. The only reason being the last person who hurt me was obliterated on spot, Kai vowed then and there anyone who hurt me, in any way would pay the consequence. 

So I usually lived problem free, unless someone didn’t know what I looked like, which happened in this case. 

I looked at her pulling off a mock pout, “Aw someones not so brave anymore.” I said my voice laced with fake sympathy. “No sassy words, no witty come backs, no more snide comments?” I waited a moment looking around. 

As I did I saw one of the ladies happened to be standing right in front of the dress I wanted. I walked up to her as she trembled, I leaned in close to her face before looking past her and grabbing my size.

As I turned around and walked out I dropped the money next to the rude sales girls, “Shame, I would have loved to see the show.” And with that I left the store. 

Truth is, I had told Kai not to do that to anyone else again, and I honestly didn’t enjoy watching the effects of his quirk on people. But they had me worked up in that moment, it felt oddly good to leave them all speechless and shaking where they stood.  

I walked through a back alley trying to regain composure before I made it home, but of course luck wasn’t on my side and I was walking past a group of three shady men. Hoping for the best I continued on like I didn’t see them but of course they had to say something, after all it was my lucky day for that.

“Hey there baby.” One man called from behind me as I heard them coming closer. 

“Not interested.” I said as I started walking faster. 

“Oh come on!” One said as they sped up “We could show you a real good time.” What I’m sure was meant to be seductive came out more threatening, or maybe that’s how it was meant. 

After I had said no again the barrage of insults began. 

“Well who would want you anyways? You’re just some pig.” 

“Yeah your eyes are so dull and your hair so gross, who would want to look at that while having sex?” the second said as I sped up. 

The insults didn't stop as I was out of there sight, they only stopped once I was out of earshot. 

I ignored the tears threatening to spill. Why am I even crying anyways? It’s just some stupid people, there opinions don’t matter, the only one who does is Kai. 

And he loves me just the way I am. ‘....Right?’ the doubt had crept into my mind and the seed was planted. 

The seed of doubt, and self hatred. It festered and grew, feeding off of any small microscopic doubt I had ever had. And as it grew it began changing events in my mind. Kai moving me off of him to go to the bathroom was now Kai’s legs where being crushed so bad he had to fake going to the bathroom to rid himself of me. 

Our portions being smaller had nothing to do with us needing to go grocery shopping and everything to do with my size. Him pointing out a dress wasn't because of the color but because he didn't like the way I always dressed. 

By the time I was home the warmth in my chest was gone, no smile was on my lips and I had thought the tears were gone. I dropped off my basket and immediately went to Kais office. 

‘He can make me beautiful,’ I thought. ‘If he uses his quirk on my then he can put me back together as the perfect woman, then I can be beautiful for him.’ 

The possessions thoughts ran threw my head on a loop as I knocked on his door. When I was told to enter I did so silently. 

“Hello there angel!” He said happily moving to pick me up and spin me around. 

“Put me down Kai I’m to heavy!” I shouted as he did so. 

“Nonsense!” He said as he continued. 

“No!,” I said as I wiggled from his grasp. “I am,” I grabbed his hands and took them in my own, “but I don’t have to be.” 

“What do you mean y/n/n?” he said squeezing my hands. 

“I don’t have to be to heavy, if you use your quirk then you ca-” He cut me off within the second that I mentioned him using his quirk. 

“Absolutely not!” He said gasping. 

“Please Kai, you can use it and then put me back together as the perfect girl!” I said desperately grabbing at his retreating hands. 

“No! Even if I didn’t think you where perfect- which I do! I would never use my quirk on you, to put you threw that pain...” He trailed off. 

“Please Kai! I wont be in pain for long! And it wont even be that bad! You cant even be guilty because I’m asking!” I said quickly. All rationality had turned off in my brain. 

“No! I wont!” He said determined. 

“Plea-” 

“No y/n and that’s final!” He spoke eyes firm. 

“Dammit Chisaki why wont you do it?!” I screamed at the man in front of me.

“Why do you want me to so bad?!” He yelled back frustrated. I stood there staring at him chest heaving and heart pounding.

“You don’t understand.” I whisper as I look down at the floor, silently begging the tears not to fall. Not now, not in front of him. I see as his shoes appear in front of me and then I feel his hands gently cup my cheeks.

“Then make me.” He whispers pleadingly as he looks into my eyes.

--------------------------

Tears slipped down Kai’s cheeks once i was finished just as they did my own. “I-I’m sorry Kai- I just- I just want to be perfect for you so bad.” I sobbed as I fell into his arms. 

retelling the events of today was enough to bring my brain a bit more down to earth, yet I still so felt so insecure and unworthy. 

“Angel... You already are.” He spoke as he pet my hair gently, his other arm securely going around my waist. “Even if my quirk didn’t bring you pain and I did do it, you would still look exactly as you are now, because this is how I love you.” 

I pulled away slightly looking up at him. “Really?” I whispered. 

He smiled gently his one hand removing his mask as the other cupped my cheek. I gasped when I watched him drop his gloves and mask to the floor. It was becoming more and more common for Kai to take his gloves off for me and even his mask, but for him to so carelessly drop them on the floor was shocking. 

He smiled rubbing my thumb with his cheek, “You’re my angel, there has never and will never be a thing I change about you.” I smiled softly but it faltered a little when he spoke again. “Well there is maybe one thing,” the smile on his face told me it wasn’t anything bad but I couldn’t help but be slightly worried. 

“What is it?” I whispered. 

“He pressed his forehead against my own before leaning in farther so our lips brushed against each other as he spoke “Your last name.” 

I smiled even as our lips connected into a soft kiss, every kiss with him brought butterflies to my stomach because they where always so special. His fear of germs prevented them from happening very often so i always cherished them. 

“I love you Kai.” I whisper pulling away so our foreheads where touching.

“And I love you Angel.” it was a sweet moment, just staying in his arms his next words contradicted the gentle brushing of his thumb on my bare waist. “Now where did you say these events happened, and could you give me a description of the people.” 

I pulled away raising an eyebrow with a small smile on my face. “Kai,” I said in warning. 

“What? Just trying to.... visualize your story better is all.” He said shrugging smiling at his half ass lie. 

I laughed smiling wider he always could make me feel better. During my laughter i couldn't see the sparkle in Kais eye as he stared down at me happy to see me smiling and laughing again, even if it only was taken away from him for thirty minutes. 

[angelthebedsheet]

hi! can i request a hxh headcannon with kurapika maybe like what it's like being a relationship with him? sorry if you can't do this or i requested this the wrong way-

- anon

a/n: it’s alright anon! i’ll try my best to write about the loml and the bad bitch himself kurapika! love hims i may have went CRAZY for this. also i write on my phone so sorry if this is so long!

lets get it!

How yall started dating

okay so yall first met at the hunter exams elevator

the main four first walked in there and were surprised to see another person there

and gon being his friendly self started to chat it up with you

“hi im gon!!”

“hi gon. i’m y/n.”

kurapika there respectfully looking at you

like you’re attractive.

lookin at how those elevator lights shine on your beautiful melaninated skin

whew baby he went 😳 inside but greeted you

“im kurapika”

“well hello kurapika”

and that was the BEGINNING

timeskip up in this bitch rq

the arcs are pretty hazy to me so like.... lets say yall were feeling e/o during the york new city arc

yall both were trying to become bounty hunters and were alr pretty close to e/o

you suggested working with him and he liked that idea

yall alr fought really well tgt and he actually liked having you around him

so you both became neon’s bodyguards

yall were slowly becoming closer to each other each day yall worked together

like lingering touches, yearnful gazes

allat cute mushy shit

kurapika is one touch starved and closed off bitch so he’s struggling here

you on the other hand you KNOW you want kurapika like who wouldn’t want him???

he’s a whole package in that tuxedo 🥵🥵

n e ways

soon neon notices this shit and it goes downhill

this lil shit starts PURPOSELY locking yall in rooms together

like baby no we are supposed to protect you what are you doing???

“im not letting you out till you two kiss!!”

“i beg your pardon?” - kurapika

“neon huh???” - you

kurapika is internally like what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck i lwk wanna kiss em but.... feelings.

you can see the internal STRUGGLE thats going on in kura’s eyes

you just say fuck it and pray the gods and any other spiritual holy beings are on your side and kiss him

kurapika’s stomach said 🦋🦋🦋🦋 when you cupped his face

like your lips are SOFT

(no cuz like some of yall rlly be making y/n have crusty ass lips like um no baby i wear lip gloss and chapstick religiously you aint gon catch me w/ brittle ass lips)

and you cant tell me kurapika doesnt wear chapstick

and he’s like ✋🏽😳 hol up this kinda.... this kinda hits why didnt i do this earlier?

(bc you’re a gated ass bitch thats why honey)

my mans just has to kiss back

he kinda just gently holds your wrists and kisses back

now you’re deceased bc damn boy where you learned this???

no cap you kinda felt your knees buckle and he noticed that but yall not gon talk about that

and you two reluctantly pull away bc hello yall still on the job and literally are bodyguards

“the door wasnt even locked.”

“you cheeky lil shi—

cue you chasing neon while she runs away giggling

kurapika can only gently touch his lips and smile with a red face

In the Relationship

now yall are disgustingly cute in private

kurapika is definitely touch starved and he always needs to be touching you in some way

he always looks out for you too

he’ll definitely press tons of kisses to your face or the back of your neck

calls you a bunch of cheesy nicknames

darling, my love, my sun, sweetheart, beloved, honey, babylove (the stanely uris thats played by wyatt oleff makes me lose my sHIT)

my boy loves your hair so much

like the texture? the volume?

he’s all for it

he would probably ask canary about wash day bc she’s black herself

would 100% help you with wash day

want him to detangle your hair? hand him that rat toothed comb he’s on it

wash your hair? let him roll up his sleeves he’s on it

oil massages? pass them oil bottles baby he’s putting you to sleep

like you will be KNOCKED as he washes your hair or oils it bc he’s that skilled

i think he would struggle braiding your hair but after you show him?

this man is taking over and braiding your hair neater than you

like excuse me where did you learn this??

parting god.

them parts are crispy and straighter than a mf

literally doesn’t comb your hair like ya mama do w/ all that tugging and shit

he’ll just gently move your head along or softly apologize whenever he accidentally tugs on your hair and presses a kiss to your scalp

taking. baths. together.

my boy CRAVES that intimacy

no sexual shit

after a long day of work he just LOVES to take a nice bubble bath with you

either you leaning against his chest or you on the opposite end of the bath

he can always unwind around you and let go of that stoic facade he puts on

i would say he’s a lil goofy in private? like he’ll scoop up the bubbles and blow them in your face

if you want jokes you gotta give em

baby had to grow up quicker so he’s more mature for his age

i’d say if you want them giggles out? hold his waist and blow the back of his neck

the way he JERKS from that then starts laughing

heart eyes up in that bitch

his laugh is so 🥺🥺🥺🥰🥰

“darling!” “that was so FUCKING CUTE KURA WTFFF”

another way? blow kisses in his neck

he will giggle like a lil kid

god i love him

when you go to sleep he’s always big spoon

doesn’t matter if you’re taller than him

big. spoon. kurapika.

the only times you can hold him is when he has a breakdown and his scarlet eyes are activated

nightmares haunt him alot and he just needs to hear your heartbeat to know you’re still here

he needs to feel your warmth and you whispering that you’re here

other than those moments you better be fine with him holding you

i would say he doesn’t move alot in his sleep other than the small twitches

but for some reason his grip is strong as FUCK

like you aint getting out of his arms at ALL

if you gotta pee hold it

nah im kidding

just wake him up he’s not a deep sleeper but he isnt a light one either

if he were to wake up in the middle of the night he’d definitely fix your bonnet or durag if it fell off

morning kissies!

one way he loves waking up is kisses all over his face

especially kissing on his eyelids

it makes him wake up with a big ol smile

“morning beloved.”

WHEWWWWWW THE RASP

ahem anyways

“morning pikapika.”

he used to hate that nickname

now? baby LOVES it bc it’s just for him

the lohl giving him a nickname just for him makes butterflies in his stomach go crazy

he can practically feel the love oozing from your eyes

the way he wakes you up?

if he’s feeling a lil goofy or silly he’ll lay ontop of you and blow kisses into your neck

if he’s still tired he’ll cup your face and gently call your name

yall cook together

if you cant cook he will respectfully say take your goofy ass out of the kitchen

if you can? show him how to season your food correctly. rmb how he made that pig look pretty asf but merchi basically said it taste like shit?

not on your watch

he’ll take mental notes as you teach him the ways of goya and sazon

sometimes he’ll just gently take over

not bc he thinks you cant do it right but bc he likes to provide for others

you just gotta lightly slap his hands away like bby i got this its okay

and he’ll understand

kisses with him are very soft but passionate?

like he isnt gonna eat your lips but he will hold you close and make sure you know how much he loves you

he’ll definitely twirl your curls around his finger

you of course gave him your permission when you started dating

he will always have one arm around your waist and one hand behind your neck

doesnt matter if you’re taller

he will 100% get on his tiptoes and do it

or make you sit down

he doesnt CARE if he has to step on a stepladder he’ll do it

he said run me my kisses NEOW

i would definitely say he’s a passionate lover and would throw hands with ANYONE if they make any snarky comments about your skin

“my s/o’s skin is beautiful mind your business and take yourself somewhere else before i do it for you”

😳

🕶🤏🏾

sir.....

you would throw hands for him too

anyone says anything about him being a girl?

its over

there was a time where someone called him a girl who was confused and you went off and got into a fight

you won by a landside

kurapika was like 😟😦😳🥺

bc you really fought for his honor

but he had to pull you away before you damn near put this person in the hospital

“honey thank you but it was okay. it didnt bother me.”

“no but it bothered me! nobody can just talk about someone i love like that.”

he went 🥺🥺🥺

he definitely kissed the FUCK outta you when yall got home

yall hands were rated e for everyone!

a ride or die couple

yall are in love love

maybe he’s looking for a ring and kurta wedding earrings

[webrokethe4thwall]

Can you write a Fanfic where Rupert Swaggart finds his own brooch and gets his live back?

Sorry for the wait @the-deku-guy, but here’s your request!

Brooches before Swine

A large man adjusted his trench coat and fedora as he scanned the stalls of the jewelers’ black market. He was not searching for your standard silver necklace or ruby ring, but a brooch. Specifically, a cloaking brooch. Meat Sweats was once again on the hunt for a mystic cloaking brooch. However, even now as he looked over the charms laid out on the table, his hopes plummeted. Several brooches, ranging from simple to ornate to tacky, were lined up, but none of them were mystic.

He had been through all of the black market stalls, antique malls, and even online auction halls. Each location yielded the same result: nothing. The former celebrity chef released a frustrated groan. He had been so close to reclaiming his old life with the last brooch he had found here. If only those two pesky girls—the curly-headed one and the slime-ball—hadn’t stolen it from him and ruined his plans!

And to add insult to injury, they had trapped him in that backwater barbeque studio. Did those amateurs not understand how to properly prepare meat before cooking it?!

“Rubbish, pitchfork-wielding hicks,” Meat Sweats grumbled, stalking away from the broach district. “Don’t know the difference between brine and a bay leaf.”

Regardless of the past, Meat Sweats was determined to regain his fame, his cooking show, and his previous life as Rupert Swaggart. Nothing and no one was going to stop him! …Well, except for his lack of a human appearance. Meat Sweats continued to mutter under his breath. He had seen other mutants—pardon, yokai—with cloaking brooches. Why was he unable to find one? Maybe there was a recall for some kind of mystical enhancement.

“One moment,” Meat Sweats grunted. “A memory stirs.”

He put a fist to his chin as he thought of a past conversation. It had been a few weeks ago with a tiny worm mutant whose name completely slipped his mind. The fellow had said he purchased a mystical enhancement jewel from some mystic shop disguised as a secondhand corner store.

“If that’s the case,” Meat Sweats mused, “perchance a visit is in order.”

That very night, the pig mutant went to the corner store. He pulled his clothes tight to his frame upon entering the store. He didn’t much care if he looked suspicious; he just didn’t want the police called on him tonight. The first thing Meat Sweats saw was some skinny greasy guy standing behind the counter. This fellow must’ve been the cloaked yokai. Meat Sweats took in the man’s lackluster appearance, baseball cap, and vague scent of chevon. After taking a moment to size each other up, the mutated chef decided to break the silence first.

“I heard that you sell delectable jewelry in this establishment,” Meat Sweats said.

“Oh, we sell all kinds of things here,” the man stated. “Lamps, dolls, and toasters to name a few; but yeah, jewelry is in the mix. The name’s Clem!” He gave Meat Sweats a lazy onceover. “You, uh, looking for something particular, friend? Nudge, nudge.”

“Nudge, nudge?” Meat Sweats asked. “It’s ‘wink, wink,’ matey.” What a peculiar character.

“Clem, get your act together!” The man shook his head in self-deprecation. Giving the password away again because he forgot an idiom. How embarrassing!

Before Meat Sweats could fake curiosity over what Clem meant, the man began shedding his disguise. The now purple goat yokai rang the bell on the counter, revealing hidden compartments in the displays that contained his mystical wares. Clem spread his arms out, showcasing the jewelry on his shelves.

“You said you’re looking for jewelry,” he droned. “What kind?”

“Cloaking brooch,” Meat Sweats stated, tearing away his trench coat. “Can’t really go on live television looking like this, now can I?”

“Wouldn’t really recommend it, no,” Clem said after a low whistle. “I’ve got just the thing.”

He knelt down behind the counter and pulled up a tray laden with stunning brooches. Clem plucked one up and handed it to the pig mutant. Meat Sweats turned it in his metal hands, admiring the star-shaped silver with a shining pink pearl in its center. He pinned the brooch to his collar and gave it a little shine. Soon his body was wrapped up in the soft pink glow of the mystical cloaking energy. Meat Sweats looked at himself in the counter’s shiny surface. It was perfect.

“All kinds of handsome is me once again,” Meat Sweats, now Rupert Swaggart, grinned.

With a wink and kiss sent to his reflection, Rupert threw a few bills at Clem. He had no appetite for goat yokai shopkeepers at the moment. No, it was time for Rupert to reclaim his previous life in full.

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A few nights later, Mikey upped the volume on his kitchen television. It was time for Kondescending Kitchen, and he was determined to make the perfect risotto!

“Are you ready to unleash the flavor?!”

Mikey came to an abrupt halt. That voice…it couldn’t be! He focused fully on the television. Meat Sweats, disguised as Rupert Swaggart, stood front and center for a cheering audience. Not good.

“Guys,” the box turtle yelled, already reaching for his kusari-fundo, “we’ve got a problem!”

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Rupert left the stage with the sound of the audience’s queued cheers pouring into his ears. He smirked to himself as he entered his dressing room. It was quite refreshing to hear after months of absence from his television career. The station manager even said that she was going to schedule an interview about his dramatic transformations and his unexpected final return. Yes, his cloaking brooch shining brilliantly on his apron was working greatly in his favor. The chef grinned as he picked up the night’s winning dish: pork risotto.

“Time to savor my victory,” Rupert hummed contentedly.

“Not a chance, Meat Sweats!”

One yellow and four green blurs swept into Rupert’s vision. No, not these reptilian nuisances and that ruinous girl! While Rupert hadn’t done anything more than reclaim his television program from an undeserving rival, Meat Sweats should’ve known that these pains in his tendrils would catch wind of his return.

“Not you rotten eggs!” Meat Sweats snarled, ditching his disguise in favor of his more combat-ready pig mutant appearance.

“You know it!” April defiantly retorted. “Which poor yokai did you steal this brooch from?!”

Now Meat Sweats was genuinely confused.  He was also annoyed, but he had some modicum of integrity. He never stole the brooch. He didn’t even steal the first one! He bought both pieces fair and square. Granted his newest item was from a slightly more legitimate business. Nevertheless, why are these pests coming after him tonight?! He hadn’t even attempted to eat or poison anyone recently!

Before Meat Sweats could state his innocence, the fight was on. Raphael and Donatello charged him head on, while Leonardo and Michelangelo went for his sides. Meat Sweats easily knocked all four of them back with a swing of his meat tenderizer. He nearly missed April reaching for his rose gold cloaking brooch.

“Hands off!” Meat Sweats roared, stepping away from the girl and raising a protective hand over the shining pearl. “This is me own brooch!”

“Oh, yeah?” Mikey challenged. “Show us the receipt then!”

Meat Sweats, fed up with these annoying teenagers that always seemed to pop up in his life, shoved the seedy secondhand shop’s receipt into the smallest turtle’s face. The turtles and girl clearly didn’t expect this response. All fighting stopped, and it appeared the children were taking a moment to process the strip of paper between the pig mutant’s gloved fingers.

“Satisfied?!” Meat Sweats demanded.

“Wait,” Raph said in disbelief. “You actually, legitimately bought a cloaking brooch?”

“How much does one go for?” Donnie asked, squinting at the too small smudged numbers.

“Enough to get the job done,” Meat Sweats stated, stuffing the receipt back into his pocket. “Now, leave me be before I cook you all into turtle soup!”

“Not so fast,” Leo said. “Why do you need a cloaking brooch anyway. You’ve just been trying to eat and poison people this entire time. Did you want to do that when you were human, too, or is it a pig thing?”

Meat Sweats sighed in exasperation. Maybe he should’ve just let the fighting go on until either he passed out or they ran off. It was too late to find out, in any case. Now he had to converse with, ugh, teenagers about his rather tame plans and not-so-tame eating habits.

“Pig thing,” Meat Sweats stated shortly. He rubbed his cloaking brooch and reactivated his human façade. “I’m taking back what’s mine with this brooch. My show, my fame, and my life need my human face. I’m not about to let some mediocre fry cook take over my kitchen!”

The so-called chef the station had replaced him with was barely out of culinary school his skills were so dull. It boiled Meat Sweats’ blood. Whether those pesky teenagers liked it or not, Rupert Swaggart was making a comeback. Kondescending Kitchen needed him! Meat Sweats just needed a human face to rescue it. While some people were accepting of mutants or cosplay junkies, the public eye required a certain degree of discretion.

“How do we know you’re telling the truth?” April asked. She gave Rupert a distrustful once over.

“Not a problem!” Mikey interjected. He slid himself between his siblings and the returned celebrity chef. “We’ll just enroll him into my Evil League of Mutants Going Good Rehabilitation Program!”

“His what?” Rupert asked, baffled by whatever the exuberant turtle was rambling about.

“It is Michael’s method of transforming our enemies into allies,” Donnie drawled. “It has been showing promising results for Draxum. Though there may be a learning curve.”

“Yeah,” Leo reluctantly agreed, “but Draxum’s the only one that Mikey has worked with so far. How do we know it’ll work on this guy?”

“That’s easy,” Raph stated, fully confident in his baby brother. “Since we know that Mikey’s program worked on one of the worst people we know, we’ll help him with setting Meat Sweats on the right path.”

“And keep Mikey from getting star-struck,” April muttered, eying the way Mikey fawned over the sweaty chef.

Rupert rolled his eyes. What is wrong with these kids?! Were they seriously discussing the future of his moral status in front of him? He didn’t need to put up with this!

“Don’t I get any say in this?” Rupert demanded.

“No!”

All the teenagers glared at him, except for the orange clad turtle who had stars in his eyes. The audacity!

“Rubbish,” Rupert grunted.

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For weeks, Meat Sweats was under the unnervingly close surveillance of the Mad Dogs. A ridiculously unsuitable name for those five obnoxious kids. He despised how involved they forced themselves to be in his life. Telling him what to do and what not to do. It was annoying! Don’t eat the mutant silverfish this, and don’t sabotage your culinary rivals that. He was sick of it and was very vocal about his displeasure.

However, the teens didn’t seem to care nor let up in their efforts to conform him to the moral high ground. The chef didn’t know if reclaiming his glory was worth the hassle. At least he didn’t have to waste energy tenderizing their bones anymore. Michelangelo even had a realistic view of his character in spite of his fanboy attitude towards Rupert Swaggart.

The box turtle never expected him to become 100% kindhearted, if he ever became nice at all. However, Mikey did put limits on Meat Sweats and made him stick to some simple moral codes. Rupert just wanted to get his status as “Most Pretentious Chef in New York” back on track. Unfortunately, the youngest turtle did not allow him to perform any of his deliciously underhanded tricks on his competition.

“Meat Sweats!” Mikey admonished. He had just caught the reforming chef about to pour mystic poison into his delightful pizza puffs. Again. “What are we supposed to do with our culinary competition?!”

Meat Sweats released an annoyed grunt. He was getting tired of repeating his supposed mentor’s lessons, but it was mildly better than the intermittent fighting they used to go through.

“Out-serve them with quality meals, not quality poison,” Rupert droned. It was verbatim from one of Chef Mikey’s many “Maintaining Healthy Competition” lectures.

“Exactly,” Mikey said in a condescendingly sweet tone. He took the poison from Meat Sweats’ grip and yeeted it into the distance. “Now put on Rupert Swaggart, and let’s make filet mignon!”

Meat Sweats rolled his eyes at the young turtle’s antics but went along with it. Michelangelo was a decent enough chef for his age, proving his potential by the way he prepared that salmon when two drooling snakes were baring down on them. Rupert Swaggart activated his cloaking brooch and picked up a knife. He may as well humor Mikey with an attempt to mature his talent.

“Not a bad idea, lad,” Rupert agreed. “Filet mignon with roasted asparagus and,” he smirked, “truffles.”

Mikey’s eye twitched at the traumatic memory. “Not funny, sweat sock.”

Meat Sweats laughed uproariously, and even harder still when he saw Mikey’s annoyance growing. It was fun messing with this one. No matter what the chef threw his way, the young turtle always bounced back with an even snarkier reply. He might make a Kondescending Chef out of the boy yet. With no further preamble, the two mutants proceeded to craft a fine meal of filet mignon over roasted asparagus drizzled with mushroom sauce.

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A month later, Rupert’s program established itself as the most popular food-related show on television once again. Crimes related to a food truck driven by a pig mutant plummeted as the celebrity chef made more public appearances. He had finally achieved his goal. Now Meat Sweats could kick back in his apartment, resting in his easy chair, and let the adulation from his fans inflate his ego, and his wallet, once more. A loud knock on his door broke him out of the moment, and the door being kicked open entirely had the pig mutant falling out of his chair.

“What in blazes?!” Meat Sweats shouted, quickly activating his cloaking brooch.

“Sorry for the door,” April cheered, giving no sign of remorse at all. “But I come baring gifts, and they’re heavy!”

April lifted several plastic bags filled with groceries. Rupert gave the girl an annoyed glare. He got up from the floor, set his door back into place minimal effort, and stared his “visitor” down. The chef didn’t know why she was in his home without her turtle friends, but he did catch the delightful aroma of raw meat, seasonings, and vegetables wafting from the bags in her hands. April immediately went to the kitchen and dumped a few wrapped lamb chops, fresh artichokes, a jar of capers, and several other ingredients onto the countertop.

“What are you doing, girlie?” Meat Sweats asked, dropping his disguise.

He was well used to the turtles’ surprise visits, but they always came in through the window or a portal into the living room. April rarely came by herself, so the chef had yet to learn her favored way of barging in.

“Setting up an apology,” April replied, organizing the meat, spices, and other ingredients.

“A what?” Meat Sweats was taken aback. This teen had been screwing up his life for months. Why was she apologizing now? What was she apologizing for?!

“You’ve been doing pretty good since you got that cloaking broach and went into Mikey’s rehab program,” April snickered. She rubbed the back of her neck sheepishly. “And I started feeling kinda bad about trapping you in the ‘Sauce That Hog’ studio.” Meat Sweats frowned deeply at the memory, and April had the sense to move on to the ingredients on the counter. “So I brought over all the ingredients for fancy lamb chops.” She waved the bag of artichokes enticingly. “Including some mystic artichokes fresh from the Hidden City.”

Meat Sweats snorted at the attempt to woo his culinary pallet. He may not spend much time with the girl, but he knew April could kiss up to anyone’s better nature once she found their Kryptonite. His was fairly obvious, and the chef took great pride in flaunting his cooking skills.

“So you thought that catering to me superior culinary taste with mystic produce and corner store mutton would make up for that torment?” He wasn’t going to let April off that easily though.

“It’s actually hogget from my cousin’s farm,” April corrected. “She raises the best meat livestock I’ve ever tasted, so I thought you might like to try it.”

“No kidding?” Meat Sweats, surprised that April knew different types of lamb meat, looked at the wrapped meats inquisitively.

“It’s sheep meat,” April smirked, “not goat.”

“Why must you pun like the blue one?” Meat Sweats grumbled. “Just give me the ingredients and watch me—”

“Unleash the flavor!” The mutant and teenager chorused.

Meat Sweats wasn’t expecting that either. He gave April an odd look. Mikey was his fanboy, so what was her excuse? April just grinned.

“Mikey got me to watch a few episodes from his favorite seasons of Kondescending Kitchen,” she explained. “What can I say? It’s a catchy line.”

“Yes, well,” Meat Sweats countered, “it’s my line.” He knows it was a lame comeback, but he really didn’t know how to respond. One minute he and these kids are at each other’s throats, the next he’s cooking filet mignon and lamb chops with them. He shakes his head and gestures to the other side of the sink. “Hand me my knife block. I want to chop up these artichokes for a marinade.”

“Yes, Chef,” April saluted.

“Cheeky girl,” Meat Sweats commented.

He and April made a delightful set of lamb chops topped with marinated artichokes and seasoned capers. The chef figured that if the return of Rupert Swaggart meant being badgered by those annoying Mad Dogs, then there are worse fates he could have been forced to endure. They weren’t as awful as he dreaded. If he didn’t enjoy being a jerk so much, he may have been tempted to even call them his friends. He still might. Just not when they were around. He had an image to maintain after all.

[zuffer-weird-girl]

Childish moves

Chisaki family au. Dont like it, dont read it.

"""Pudding pudding taishou hajimaru yo~!"""

He heard from afar as he walked on the halls with a book on hand. He sighed but still continued walking towards the living room where the song was coming from.

Having two kids made him accostumize with the loud and even feel uncomfortable when it was way too quiet... sometimes at least. So it was better for him to be on the same ambient as his kids and prevent them from hurting themselfs then to read on a silent room and end up having to hear cries and almost have a heart attack.

Although when he entered he widened his eyes at seing both his kids AND wife, stretching and ocassionaly dancing in the middle of the room in front a T.V. Poor you was sweating already but with a huge smile on your face as Kin bounced on the place as Kaito had a serious and concentrating face towards the T.v and following the most correctly he could the steps.

"DOSKOI!" You exclaimed along as the kids jumped with their hands in the air with laughter. He shoked his head at it and carefully made his way to the couch to sit and start to read his book.

He ocassionaly looked up and smiled at the scene of his three most special persons just enjoying their selfes on just a stupid exercising song... Yet the sign was way too adorable for his own sake.

Suddenly you leaned to pick the remote and paused the song and fell with your back on the couch and butt on the floor with a exausted sigh as yours kids whined and went to you.

"Mama pweaseee? One more?" Your two years old daughter whined while shaking your arm as Kaito patted and carresed your head and arm as a signal of comfort.

"I would love to kiddos but mommy is just exausted..." you panted as Kai arched an eyebrow at you from his seat, book still on his lap.

"For how long exactly you submitted yourself to this?" He mentioned towards the T.v as you giggled tiredly.

"I guess it was for two hours or so..." you panted before looking up at your husband with a smile "The kids loved this song."

"Is great for exercising." Kaito looked at his father with the same deadpanned look but still carresing you.

"Considering that you three are sweating like pigs then yeah." He arched his eyebrow at his son before the kid gasped in offense.

He smirked at that as he turned one of his pages as you finally found strengh enough to lift yourself up to sit on the couch.

"You all need to take a bath." He stated nonchantly and already heard the whines of his kids... he has already expected.

"One more time!" Kin whined while shaking your leg as you whined, feeling the wish to satisfy your daughter but your body didn't allowed you to.

"Kin. You mother is tired." Kai stated simply as Kaito suddenly snapped his fingers.

"Dance with us daddy!" Kaito poked his father's leg as Chisaki slowly lifted his gaze up from his book with a begrudily look.

"Pardon?" He didn't like one bit the sound of your snorts and muffled laughs from his side. "No. I will not do such a thing." He grunted before he felt a poke again only to be met with the most cursed thing.

His two kids pouting and the dammed puppy dog eyes.

"No." He growled and almost lose it when Kaito sniffled and Kin whined.

"Pwease papa?? Pweaseee?" The little girl curled her little hands on his knees while boucing up and down slowly.

"Mommy always do this with us.." Kaito mumbled and he was already scowling. He tried to ask for help to his wife but guess what? You were just giggling and encouraging them to have him to dance along with them.

"... ai despise you three so much sometimes." He growled before snapping his book closed and got up with a grunt as your two kids gleamed and exclaimed in joy to finally convince their dad to tag along.

"Mama mama do the thing! Do the thing!" Kin exclaimed with a toothless smile as you giggled and picked the remote. Whiel this Kaito went and dragged his father to be on the middle of him and his little sister.

"Sweetu dont you think is better to take that thing off?" You giggled whiel gesturing to your own face to poin it out his mask as he narrowed his amber eyes at you.

"You're enjoying this, arent you?" He growled while carefully taking his black mask off and handing it to you.

"Absolutelly." You giggled at his glare and picked the remote. "Ready?" The kids yelled a confirmation as your husband only deadpanned at them before rolling his golden eyes.

"Pudding pudding taishou hajimaru yo~!" You said along with the miss on the video clip as the Kin did a little wiggle as Kaito stretched his arms up in the air.

The scene was priceless. Kai was an amazing dancer with you, but with those the poor man was a disaster. Occasionally he would insult the video while clumsily coping the moves as Kaito laughed and kin giggled at their father.

It didn't take much for Kai to get comfortable with his kids and do the moves correctly along with them. You picked silently your phone to record to even show Pops later. Kai had still the same serious and poker face as usual while dancing to the kids song.

"DOSKOI!" Kin and Kaito yelled in glee while jumping with the arms up in the air.

"... doskoi." Kai did the same, and you let out a laugh with the tone of voice he used compare to the enthusiastic choir of your son and daughter.

Suddenly Ki looked over his shoulder, luckily you had stopped recording, and looked back at his two kids before shaking his head with a smirk and continuing dancing along with them.... eventually you said screw to your tired muscles and went along with them.

.

.

.

Puddi puddi puddi puddi puddi puddiding!

"The fuck?" Mimic muttered as Chrono looked at him with the same look. They left their own work behind to follow the music until they heard the monotonous voice of Chisaki speaking.

"Doskoii." Soon followed the laughter of his kids and wife laughing as (Y/n) took the turn to sing. They peaked and found the four in front of the T.v... dancing... a child's song.

You exclaimed with the hands in the air as Kin let out her baby laughter as Kaito laughed when his father picked both of them up to put on his shoulders.

Mimic soon bursted out in laughter as Chrono followed along. Making Kai stop dead on his moves as the Chisakis looked over at them.

"A-Apoligies-!" Chrono snorted on his hand as Mimic howled in laughter, rolling on the ground "But is that really you? Chisaki?" Hari laughed after he managed to mutter the question.

The song continued on the ground as Kai glared at them before his kids laughed on his shoulder while he mantained a grim grip when he turned back and continued.

"Is a exercise idiots. And my childs are having fun at least. Now get out before I knocked you two out cold..." he put Kin and Kaito down only for them to yell the chorus of the song.

"...Keeki mo kaachatta..." he sighed and smirked at his wife giggling at him before continuing the sing for him as his kids danced excitedly to the song.

"How long are we here?" You giggled on his ear as he shrugged.

"Five minutes and you're helping me with their bath." He muettered nonchantly as he send you a glare for giggling.

"You're such a softie hon!"

"Shut your mouth." He winced at the kick he received from his son as he pouted.

"Dont be rude with mommy." The boy said in the same nonchantly tone he almost used as he deadpanned as you snorted.

"Is your son." You manage to giggle as he rolled his eyes with a smirk.

[pzos-amiserableidiot]

I love striders so much so here’s all the interesting tidbits, trivia, and lore I could find on them from https://minecraft.gamepedia.com/Strider, https://minecraft.gamepedia.com/Zombified_Piglin, https://www.minecraft.net/en-us/article/meet-strider. After the readmore is facts copy and pasted from these sites themselves.

Only adult zombified piglins spawn on striders. Zombified piglins are zombified versions of both piglins and piglins brutes; as well as pigs struck by lightning. If a zombified piglins is riding the strider, the strider pursues the player if the zombified piglin is angered.

Striders are the only mob capable of walking on lava. When swimming in flowing lava they move more slowly than they would on land, especially when against the flow.

Water, rain, and splash water bottles harm striders. They take damage from rain even in lava. For some reason striders don’t take damage from water in a filled cauldron. However, what’s confirmed not to be a bug is that they don’t take damage from any form of snow.

When out of lava striders turn purple, have a deeper frown, shiver, and move slower. With the speed effect striders move faster on both land and lava, still moving significantly slower on land. Due to a bug, striders take fall damage when falling from a height into lava source blocks.

A baby strider that spawns on an adult strider still grows into an adult but adult striders on adult striders don’t spawn naturally. Baby striders not walking on an adult follow the closest adult strider.

When being ridden they aren’t attracted to warped fungus outside of it (placed, another player with warped fungus, or held) even if not being directed by warped fungus on a stick by the rider.

Baby striders obtained through breeding take 20 irl minutes to grow up. This can be slowly accelerated by feeding them warped fungus; 10% off the remaining time to grow up with each use.

For every strider that spawns, there is a 1 in 10 chance of an additional baby strider to spawn riding on top of the previous strider. A baby strider on the adult strider continues to grow although it does not dismount the adult strider once it has grown up. Zombified piglins have a 1 in 30 chance of spawning on top of a strider, creating a strider jockey. If this happens, the strider spawns with a saddle and the zombified piglin spawns carrying a warped fungus on a stick. The zombified piglin also does not despawn (except on Peaceful difficulty).

Adult striders drop 2–5 string upon death. The maximum amount is increased by 1 per level of Looting, for a maximum of 2–8 with Looting III.‌

Striders wearing a saddle always drop the saddle upon death, regardless of if they spawn wearing it or if a player puts it on them. In fact, the only way to remove a saddle from a strider is to kill the strider.

When an adult strider is killed by a player or tamed wolf, 1–2‌ xp / 1–3‌ xp experience is dropped.

Unlike most mobs, striders can walk on lava.

Upon being harmed by another mob, striders attempt to flee for a few seconds while making "retreat" noises.

Striders are damaged by water, rain, and splash water bottles,‌ which deal damage by 1 per splash water bottle or half-second in water or rain, which can kill them. Striders still take damage from rain even if they are in lava. However, they are not harmed when standing in a filled cauldron. They also cannot be harmed by snowfall, neither can they be harmed by snowballs. They also are not immediately damaged by powder snow, which has been confirmed to not be a bug.

Striders outside of lava change to a purple color, change their expression to more of a frown, and shiver. They also move slower when outside of lava.

If a strider has the Speed effect applied to it, the strider moves faster on both land and lava (though its land speed is still considerably slower).

If a zombified piglin is riding a strider, the strider pursues the player if the zombified piglin is angered.

Due to a bug, striders that fall from a height take fall damage when landing in lava.

A baby strider on an adult strider still grows into an adult. Adult striders riding other adult striders do not spawn naturally. Baby striders not walking on an adult follow the closest adult strider.

striders move forward automatically while their direction is influenced using a warped fungus on a stick, at a speed of 4.14 m/s if on a flat lava surface (such as the Nether lava sea) or 1.74 m/s if on land. Striders move much more slowly in flowing lava than on land.[more information needed] They swim especially slowly against the lava flow direction.

In Java Edition, saddled striders being ridden by players never move on their own accord (when not seeking lava within around 10 seconds) unless being directed. In Bedrock Edition, striders wander around freely when ridden by a player not directing it. Once in lava and unmounted, striders actively seek lava or wander around when not seeking lava.

A strider ridden into flowing lava slowly rises to the top. Fall damage does not affect striders that have dropped onto flowing lava, unlike the bug for lava source blocks.

When ridden over land, striders automatically walk up any one block high slope. They also cross any 1-wide block gap or air space that is only one block higher - diagonally up - when ridden directly upward and not completely sideways to the slope.

When being ridden (by a player, zombified piglin, or another strider), a strider is not attracted to warped fungus outside it. Whether held, or warped fungus on a stick of another player, or else placed. Even if not being directed by a warped fungus on a stick, of the rider.

If striders are given warped fungus, they breed to create baby striders, granting the player 1–7 experience orbs. The parent striders have a cooldown of about 5 minutes before they can breed again. All babies obtained through breeding take 20 minutes to grow up. The growth of baby striders can be slowly accelerated using warped fungus; each use takes 10% off of the remaining time to grow up.

Trivia

Striders are the only passive mob that spawns exclusively in the Nether except for hoglins and piglins on peaceful difficulty.

Striders are the only (non-zombified) mob introduced in the Nether Update that do not zombify when leaving the Nether.

Striders are the only mob that can spawn in every Nether biome.

The strider is one of two mobs that can naturally spawn with a saddle. The other is the Ravager.

If commands are used to saddle a baby strider, and the player rides the baby strider, the player takes fire damage.

At one point in the strider's development, before it was added to the game, a strider out of lava would retract its legs start to take damage and bounce around until they died, similar to how fish suffocate when out of water. This feature was discarded for being too sad.

Part of the reason that striders drop string was to answer the question of "how do piglins make crossbows?"

The bobbing animation that the strider makes while walking was initially an accident. However, the developers thought it was "quirky and fun", so it was added as a feature.

Striders now have the correct health of 20 × 10 instead of 15 × 7.5.

——————

The Nether is crawling with hostile mobs who won’t hesitate to make player pudding out of you given the chance. However, there is an exception: an adorable anomaly that couldn’t care less about you, me, or Bob’s debris-hoarding. We call this happy little accident the Strider.

“The Strider is unique in the sense that it is the only non-aggressive mob in the Nether,” says Brandon Pearce, developer on the gameplay team who’s been heavily involved in the Striders design. “Some players were scared of it, because that’s what they’d expect from something in the Nether, and because it was seen as somewhat ugly – only to realize ‘Oh wow, it’s actually peaceful!’”

I beg your pardon? Ugly? Preposterous! The Strider is a natural beauty; a grumpy yet charming smile, long silver hair, and a perfect block-shaped body held up by two elegant legs – what’s not to LOVE?!

Sure, the Strider may appear somewhat meek but it’s all for show. On the contrary, the Strider is probably the toughest being in the Nether thanks to its rather unique ability of being completely fireproof. While many mobs would meet a certain doom in lava, the Strider thrives in it. According to Brandon, there’s a practical reason for it, besides the obvious bragging rights.

Random fact XVII: The Strider drops string, and the reason behind it is because of how its beautiful bristles resemble the material. Brandon explains: “There was kind of a point where players were asking ‘How do Piglins make crossbows? Where does the string come from?’ – so there you go, strings come from Striders!”

2000 degrees hot liquid baths

A ride on a Strider can be a shaky experience. Not just because of your own palpable fear of falling into lava and losing all your belongings, but because of the Strider’s moveset. When it walks, it wobbles back and forth, like that bobblehead in your parent’s car you simply can’t stop poking. Extremely charming, but also a complete accident if you ask Brandon.

“Animations in Java’s version of Minecraft aren’t done with an external tool. Instead, it’s basically math functions that make them move in a certain way. At one point, I was playing around with this, and the Strider just did this sort of wobble from side to side. It felt quirky and fun, especially in combination with the Strider’s… unique appearance. It just made it look so lovable!”

Parking your Strider mount can be quite a hassle. Not because of the Nether’s terrible Sunday traffic or shortage of parking lots in bastion remnants, but because of its relation to anything but lava. A Strider that leaves its boiling bath for a walk on land will soon turn purple and start shivering.

Really? A mob that spends most of its time in a burning ocean will freeze on land? Don’t worry Strider, I’ll knit you a nice warm sweater for the winter holidays! The freezing mechanic wasn’t Brandon’s first idea though, but probably the best given his earlier drafts:

“In one of my first versions their legs would just retract in and they would bounce around and take damage until they died, which was kind of sad,” he admits. “Now people create lava pools just so they can keep Striders warm. There’s nothing that forces players to do that from a mechanics perspective – but they still feel compelled to because they’re so immersed in the world and want to be nice to these creatures. That’s so interesting from a design perspective and I hope we’ll be able to carry that into future features down the line.”

Freezing on land, ferrying players across lava lakes… It's obvious to me that we don’t deserve this pure little beast.

——————

A piglin or piglin brute that enters the Overworld or The End transforms into a zombified piglin after 15 seconds. When baby piglins transform into zombies, they do not have weapons, unlike baby zombified piglins that naturally spawn, and when piglin brutes transform into zombies, they keep their axes.

A zombified piglin keeps any armor or weapons collected before being zombified‌.

Baby zombified piglins also have a 5% chance of becoming a chicken jockey‌.

[luna-redamancy]

You Always Find Your Way Back Home - Part Twelve

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The mug in your hands warmed you as you took in the reality you were surrounded in. The smell of chamomile filling your nostrils as you rubbed your thumb nervously over the rim. 

“All we can do now is wait,” Alvina’s words echoed in your ears as you stared out the window, wait. That’s all you can do, wait and hope for a miracle to happen. To hope the One Ring gets destroyed.

Huffing out of your nose you pressed your forehead to the glass, the cold making you sigh and shut your eyes. The sound of the rain’s pitter-patter soothing you temporarily.

Arms slipped around your waist, Thranduil’s head on your shoulder as the two of you watched the storm rage on outside your cottage. Your plants happily sitting in the window. 

“What’re you thinking about?” Thranduil hummed at you, his thumbs tracing comforting circles on the curve of your waist. 

“How much I hate storms,” You grumbled, watching lightning crackle in the distance, setting a tree ablaze. “It destroys so much,” You mumbled, letting your own hand fall to cover his own in an affectionate manner. 

“Well, storms are also a sign of new beginning, the past being washed away to allow a new dawn to begin,” Thranduil replied, pressing a kiss to your temple. “To have a new beginning, an old story must end,” He hummed again, looking out of the window once more. “An old story is ending, while ours is just beginning.”

Your eyes felt heavy as you opened them again, tears brimming the surface as you sniffled. “Will our story end a tragedy? Or a lovely happy ending?” You whispered out loud, sending a mental prayer to Vala to help you stay strong as you could only wait to see what fate had in store for you. 

Your mug now felt cold, the steam of your tea now lost, making you realize how long you had been sitting there wallowing. Shaking your head you made your way to the kitchen to pour it down the sink. 

Family photos littered the hallway, you with your parents, your cousins, your siblings, your nieces, and nephews. A bittersweet taste fills your mouth as you let your eyes linger on them. You looked so happy. Your eyes were filled with joy as you held your baby niece for the first time, as you hugged your sister at her wedding, as you smiled at the camera with your mother on her birthday. 

“Yet none of it is real…” Your expression went blank as you avoided thinking about the life you could have had if you never went to middle-earth if you never got placed in this world, to begin with.

Shaking your head again, you smacked your cheeks lightly to bring you back to reality. “Everything happens for a reason, stop it,” You huffed, grabbing out a bag of popcorn, “That’ll clear my mind,” You mumbled,  “A Christmas movie.” 

______

“After all these days of journeying beside you, Legolas, I haven’t seen you so troubled until now,” Aragorn began, eyes watching his friend very carefully. 

Legolas looked out onto the horizon, his jaw clenched and shoulders tense. “If Frodo, the ring-bearer, does not succeed in destroying this ring, I may lose my mother for good.” Legolas slowly let out, his eyes looking anywhere but Aragorn, afraid if they locked eyes Legolas wouldn’t be able to hold his facade any longer.

“The dark magic of the ring…” Aragorn struggled to find the words, “Took your mother from you?” 

Legolas nodded, “I lost her once, and I’ve lost her again because of the resurfacing of the ring,” He explained, his shoulders slowly losing their tenseness. 

“You’re worried Frodo won’t be able to complete his task?” 

Legolas stayed silent, he truly didn’t know what he believed. 

“Well. Hobbits are miraculous creatures, my friend, do not doubt so easily.” Aragorn gave a reassuring smile as they continued to look out on the horizon together. 

Legolas nodded, his eyes drifting up to the stars, the hairs on the back of his neck began to stand up, a feeling of dread washing over him. 

“The stars are veiled, something stirs in the east… a sleepless malice,” Legolas began a sick feeling stirring in his stomach. 

“The eye of Sauron is moving, watching,” Legolas’ eyes narrow into a glare as he pulls Aragorn back inside. “We must hope that Frodo and Sam make it before it is too late.”

_____

“Hey! Hands off! That shiny shirt- that’s mine.” The Uruk-Hai commander Shagrat called out to the orc, Gorbag. “It’s going to the great eye, along with everything else that was on him!” Gorbag yelled in response, motioning towards Frodo, tied up and bare except for his undergarments. 

Frodo stayed still, realizing they still thought he was knocked out from spider venom. Carefully reaching up towards his throat, his eyes widened. The ring was gone. 

Sam marched through the gates, adrenaline and fear pushing him to find Frodo. “I can’t believe I left him… Oh Mr.Frodo, please be okay…”

Finding his way to a courtyard, Sam covered his mouth in shock. Over fifty orcs, slaughtered in the courtyard. “Frodo must be here somewhere,” He told himself as he began climbing the staircase, slowly realizing a few Uruk-Hai were coming toward him. Gulping down a breath, Sam glared as he unsheathed Sting. Letting a scream belt from his throat, Sam ran up the stairs toward them.

“That’s for Frodo! And for The Shire! And for my old Gaffer!” Sam yelled as he cut them down one by one, as he rushes past them and into the nearest place he could see, the tower. ‘Where else would they keep Frodo?’ He thought to himself. 

“Stop your squeaking, you dunghill rat!” Gorbag demands, his eyes filled with rage as he watched Frodo struggling in his binds. 

“I’m gonna bleed you like a stuck pig,” He growled as he pulled out a dagger, slowly moving toward Frodo. Before he could move any further, Frodo watched in horror and relief as Sting was protruding from the other side of his body.

“Not if I stick you first,” Sam grunted, shoving him off his sword. 

“Sam!” Frodo called out, relief filling his entire being as Sam began to cut his binds. “Oh Sam, I’m so sorry… for everything.” 

“Enough of that, come on,” Sam shook his head, helping Frodo up. 

“It’s too late, Sam,” Frodo’s voice was filled with despair, “-They have the ring now, they took it from me,” 

“I beg your pardon, but they haven’t done such a thing,” Sam smirked, pulling the ring from his pocket. 

“I thought I’d lost you, Mr.Frodo, so I kept it… For safekeeping, of course,” Sam showed Frodo the ring, Frodo’s eyes filling with amazement, “Give it to me, Sam.” 

Sam hesitated, the tone of Frodo’s voice startling him. “Please, give me the ring, Sam.”

Slowly Sam dropped the ring into Frodo’s palm, watching as Frodo’s body sagged in relief. “The ring is my burden, Sam… It will destroy you,” Frodo looked at Sam with pained eyes, “I could never ask you to hold that burden for me.”

Sam could only nod as he felt no words could describe how he felt about Frodo doing such a thing for him. To ease the tension, Sam cracked a smile. “Come on Mr.Frodo, we best find you some clothes. Can’t have you going through Mordor like that.” 

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