#demoman because im gay

[glitched404brainiac]

Happy gay month, so here is gay people or close best friends feeding eachother drinks

B]

[scozthewoz]

sometimes people ask me, "hey bitch, what are all your tf2 headcanons?" and i just can't answer because i'm at the zoo complaining about 20 dollar dippin dots. so here's a list.

▪︎demoman fucking HATES mac & cheese. don't ask my why.

▪︎engineer has a god complex through the roof. this includes him not being able to eat or be around any cornbread on the planet that he doesn't make himself. can't stand it.

▪︎scout has a peanut allergy but keeps eating them and medic is fucking sick of it

▪︎medic kept engineer's arm along with body parts from the other mercs and keeps them in jars . he has a steadily growing collection.

▪︎sniper is part maōri and would get super into it if he found out

▪︎sniper is totally autistic, medic too, but a different type

▪︎soldier says he's straight but he has had SO MUCH GAY SEX. if its two men it just makes it more manly. god bless america and god bless the male prostate.

▪︎medic probably plays ribcages like a xylophone sometimes for giggles

▪︎pyro likes painting their nails. however, what pyro perceives as nails is the part of their gloves where nails would be. just pink splotches on their gloves.

more to come probably im still thinking about the 20 dollar dippin dots

[pleaseplaygrimfandango]

MASSIVE PSA TO ALL STRAIGHT PEOPLE:::

STOP. FUCKING. PLAYING. TEAM FORTRESS 2!!!!

i see you out there in the crowd,, youve got like a bagilion hours in this game but YOU HAVE BEEN LIED TO. This game was always meant for gay people, you were never su[pposed to play it. Think about it, in what straight ass game is it fucking normal to say shit like “”AH fuck that guy is toatally DOMMING me rn“ or “can’t wait for someone to get caught in my STICKY TRAP“, no fucking way dude. youre telling me that a game about 9 hot and sweaty men duking it out on the battlefeild and blasting each other into KINGDOM CUM is supposed to be for strAIGHT people?? not a chance. let me tell you about these gay fucks

Soldier... This guy gets arounbd and y’know what he’s good at? blasting. this guy fucking BLASTs EVERYWHERE HE GOES. he is an asolute EXPLOSION MANIAC. you telling me this guy who loves to blast men is straight? get out. and hey, we’ve all equiped the Original, we all know what it looks like, but you never made the fucking conection that soldier is fucking OBLITERATING men with his massive phallic rocket launcher???? and that’s supposed to be straight?? i dont buy this for a fucking nanosecond

demoman, yea he also blasts. he blasts fucking hard too. this guy does some major blasting, HE’S THE DEMOMAN THATS HIS THING! but you know something, he can be pacient too. sometimes he play with his STICKY BALLS and just sit there and wait for someone to come by. he saves up his load. and the moment some poor unsuspecting gayboy wanders by? FUCKING BOOOOM. his blast is FUCKING MASSIVE be cause he’s saves up and waits for the right opportunity to blast

okay yea, you might think that this guy is actually into ladies. NOT FOR A FUCKING SECOND. this little fucking twink is a complete brat to these guys, just an absolute motherfucker only to get blasted into yesteryear by some heavy. his body is BUILT to be blasted. but dont just think because he gets blasted that he can’t FUCKING BLAST either. nah, you might think this shitty little fruit can’t do jack shit and then BAM he blasts you. also, “““MAD MILK“““>>??? Get fucking real, we all know whats in that jar you fucking freak.,

now this guy, he’s not really known for blasting. he can deal out some blasts in a pinch but overall this mans not really a blast master. but that’s because he’s PRACTICAL, he knows his frail little texan bod cant dish out the blasts like his commrades. but you know what he does do? he makes machines to do the blasting for him. THINK ABOUT IT that big machine you’ve been eyeing on amazon that you can’t possibly afford, you know the one im talking about. this guys, HE JUST FUCKING BUILDS IT and watches it blast everyone out of existance. he doesn’t need to blast, he’s just fine watching as he kicks back with a beer

god... do i even need to say it?... you already know this man. youve seen art of him and medic, you know how much he fucking loves MOIST and DELICIOUS meat. i dont even need to say it but im going to anyways. this guy is a fucking BARA GOD. yea, maybe he takes a second to unload, sure he’s a bit slow, but when he’s reved up in your face ready to go??? you are fucking GONE. HE WILL BLAST YOU. NO FUCKING MERCY. you cant even comprehend how hard this man will blast you. and on top of that, according to him it costs him like a billion dollars just to blast for 12 seconds. dude is going ABSOLUTELY BROKE from BLASTING HOT MEN in the face but he still fucking loves it. he knows its the only way he can be happy.. and scout, that little gay boy fuck? you think he’s going to outrun heavy? THINK AGAIN. heavy has a entire waepon dedicated to pinning that fucker down. this guy cannot be straight

okay yea ill say it, he doesn’t blast. not even for a second, not even a little bit, so you might think this guy is off the hook. ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR MIND??? nope. you see, he may not blast, but his team mates? he knows EXACTLY how to get them to blast. soldier is a pretty good blaster but when medic sticks his beam in him from behind, soldier is a FUCKING BLASTING MANIAC. he may not be the guy dishing out the blasts but he’s there to top every single one of those guys off and make sure they are EXPLODING

picture it, you’re just strolling around badwater. just having a nice time and FUCKING BANG. this guy blasts you from across the map. this guy right here? the only thing thats straight about him his his fucking perfect persionsion BLAST to your face. he’s got it down to a science. it doesn’t matter how far away you are he’s going to abosutely unload on you from across the map. and hey if he’s got the right weapon, he’s going to get you SOAKING WET absolutely SOPPING.

alright, lets get real for a second. this guy? you might think, no fucking way does he blast. not even a single chance. this french fuck? no way. but oh contrare. you see, this guys knife, its small. laugh it up fuckers. but guess what? he knows EXACTLY where to stick it. he knows all your weakspots better than you do. you think this guys tiny little knife isn’t going to get you off but when he puts it in you just right you will be on the ground in SECONDS FLAT. yea sure, heavy and soldier will rearrange your guts for you yea but this guy, he’s going to do things to your body you wont fucking believe. and i hear you saying but wait, spy fucks ladies right??? yea sure, delude yourself even more fuckers. you dont think this guy is a bisexual god?? you really think a guy who hangs out with men all day long who talks about just how much pipe he lays ISNT getting railed behind the lockers? fuck you

AND PYROOO!!!     idk i think matpat said he was a gay guy in one of his videos or something

but there you have it, you cant deny it anymore straightos. un install the game RIGHT NOW and go play overwatch or some shit. this ones for the gays now

[fckntf2hcs]

Who’s your top 5 favourite mercs

it’s late and this is a hard question cause i love em all but i am motivated so

Soldier

Demoman

Scout

Medic

Engineer

I still love the rest of them all still a whole lot,, BUT these are the ones I look for the most content for. sniper and spy would both be in number six,.

sorry heavy </3 i still love u a whole lot.

[0sbrain]

The mercenaries ranked on the objective measure of how attractive do i think they are

1. medic: this man has the body and the personality. id love to have a chat with him as he chops my tits (free top surgery + he gets more tits, win win situation) he also has pets and a banger tune. the perfect man for this sciencecore sucker

2. pyro: apart from being a canon non binary from a game released in 2007, having a rad ass transgender name and one of the coolest outfits, they light things up on fire. literally such a hot trait.

3.engineer: smart, barbeque dad bod, has the moves and a short king? where do i sign up. he's the only man with a guitar that i trust and probably says y'all in a queer but also southern way. please make me pancakes sir

4. demoman: his scottish accent and eyepatch make him look like a pirate and that is so gay of him

5. sniper: again with the accent. he respects his parents and has cool scars that have inspired me to get autopsy scars tattooed. he also is an old soul meaning he's tired of everything despite being 27 meaning he'll understand why i have been graying since i was 13

6. heavy: this bear can suplex bears. im not that much into that, but i bet he gives the best cuddles. he has the smarts too, a phd in russian literature is no joke, i'd love to analyze media with him but he's more friend shaped other than anything. mr heavy lets talk about nabokov

7. scout: is he 23, yes but hus face says baby and his brain could be mistaken for the one of a 13 year old. while it probably has to do with his upbringing, and that was outside his control, as a medic main im mad at all of them for taking my health kits. good on him for the transmasc swag

8. soldier: patriotism is so unsexy. while the racoons give him some points because OF COURSE he is the only merc in a (canon) relationship, and im afraid of both heavy and zhanna. he's not worth the effort but i hope he goes to therapy <3

9. french.

[presidentbungus]

i think when demo gets scottish stereotyped™ by people he leans into it for the bit like "yea i can play bagpipes. yea im havin haggis for dinner wannae come along?" but when inevitably someone shows actual interest he doesn't know what to do with it

he kind of likes being reduced down to a stereotype bc if he’s just angry drunken scot he’s not really expected to be anytbing else. which is good for him because he’s not sure what he really is besides that ! he has Many Many problems. when people ask him what else he is besides that or like try to get him to do other things he’s like what? there’s nothing there. stop it youre scaring me and he just has no fucking idea what’s going on at all times I want to give him a hug and tell him identity doesn’t matter as much as he thinks he does just ONE hug that’s all im asking. please valve. you invented gay people to sell tf2 copies please invent Demoman irl

[tf2fansderogatory]

welcome to our blog! we just love doing our funny little thing out in this funny little world of ours. this is just the big funny pinned post thing aha

official tf2transderogatory discord server (really really cool. age limit 16+)

rules tags n mod intros under the cut !

request rules (cool)

1. no nsfw whatsoever. I hope this is obvious

2. all ships allowed, save for The Forbidden One. pauling ships r on thin ice

3. we reserve the right to not answer asks if we do not want to. do not bother us about it. we are all very busy

4. and uhh common sense be nice or whatever. keep asks on-topic. play tf2 everyday stay on that grind💪

tags

characters

scout

soldier

pyro

demoman

heavy

engineer

medic

sniper

spy

miss pauling

(other character tags will be added as BUNGUS FUCKING REMEMBERS TO ADD THEM)

mod intros (vbery important:)))))))))))))) )

bungus: howdy I’m bungus. I go by any pronouns and I’m just a funny little guy if I do say so myself. find me @presidentbungus on tumbler and ao3. I am an engy lover and medic lover and demo lover and all those other guys lover too except spy he sucks:))). send me asks about science party(!!!) & swordvan & engiespy and I’ll kiss you I will

modgod: i'm @youngods aka ares/modgod and use he/they pronouns. my major blorbos include spy and soldier, major ships include engiespy. talk to me about any of them and send music headcanons this way.

ghost fish: I'm @ghost-fish-in-a-bowl on tumblr!! I go by she/they pronouns and I love all heavy stuff (send me funny about things about him winkwink). I'm like the artist mod here ig so I'll do funny doodles around here lol.

crabmod: I'm @Nezclaw on Tumblr and anywhere else that counts. biiiiig medic simp. crabmod on the blog. like heavymedic and engiemedic, but platonically. usually the one smacking everyone with a fish and not paying attention to the Discourse™.

ikea: hello hello ! I’m ikea (@welcome-to-ikea), she/they pronouns, and I go by ikea because I keep getting lost in my own brain (/hj). I am constantly thinking about Scout, Spy, Engie, and Medic, but in general I like thinking about the relationships/interactions between the funny gay men ™️

Mick: hello I'm Mick @aprofessionalwithoutstandards (posts from @biracy) and I'm a big time Demo tf2 enthusiast. Swordvan guy for obvious reasons. Deeply committed to the Sniper/Admin bit. I am very funny also. shehim and 18 and etc

nimbus: hey hi i'm nim! (@nimbus-lightest) i use they/he/ae pronouns and uhh i'm the kind of person who's so deep into their brainrot that they like to just imagine characters doing mundane everyday things, so that's what i like to talk about a lot heehoo

mod pissjar: hi lol i forgot to do this anyways i'm radio but you can call me mod pissjar if you want ig. any pronouns are fine. i'm completely and utterly normal about tf2 (lying through my teeth). and my blog is @sniperspissjar

modbot: Peachy 'noon! I'll be tagged as 'modbot' for reasons I never shut up about on the hell hut Discord (which you should join; we totally aren't infected with a brain-eating bungal virus!) I've been around these pals for a tad, and the fandom for much longer, so I'll be staying here forever while I work for my medical license (which [medicine] I also never shut up about). My forte is Sniper, but I'm hopelessly addicted to adding my cents to everybody. I have the tendency to write essays and snippets (minus the pretty colors and endless parentheses), rather than simply agree with any headcanons, so if you're in the mood. . . I'm your printer, prone to prose. I lean less towards heavily romantic ships by nature, but I'll be here for that, too, if you really want it. I go by she/her, but I'll take 'technologically transcendent tyrant' any time of the day. It'll earn you some brownie points <3

lems: heyoooooo! the name i usually go by is lemon or lems, (and also Saphir or frost) but i will also take any kind of word you give me! any pronouns, i gave up figuring what i liked the most. im @m-an-mlems on my main which is very rarely ever tf2 stuff so. beware ooooooo [spooky organ sfx]

mod cb: HI! i'm mark! i use he/him/it, and i'm the host of a system. you can find me at @creaturebarks on tumblr, etc. tf2 owns every braincell of mine. i'm not sure if i have a favorite merc, but i can safely say that my brain is full of many thoughts and i adore them all!!! (cb stands for creaturebarks btw)

[debtdeath]

give me your scout ships.. give me

scout ships! thank you for this i will now be waxing poetic about the scout pairings i love.

- the pairing i care most about is scout and sniper of course, i like that they're similar in the ways that they're extremely conscious of how they come across and like.. posturing and stuff. i'd argue that they both deal with different expressions of toxic masculinity but that's literally just my reading. i also like that they just hang out!! it's good! you could go enemies to lovers or friends to lovers with these two and it always works very well imo. i like how their differences and quirks play off each others, and they can make each other better... or worse! 😈

- i have a soft spot for headcanoning pairings as exes (which.. i guess counts as shipping...? idk) and im attached to the idea of scout and miss pauling as amicable exes, or even just scout got over his crush and discovered that actually he'd much rather be friends with miss pauling. i know a lot of people read miss pauling as a lesbian and i agree! i was chatting with a friend about how her relationship (or lack thereof!) with scout would have been transformative for both of them, and cemented her feelings that yeah she's not attracted to men, while scout literally learned to be less... selfish? in his pursuit of romantic interests? that's wot i think anyway

other ships i think look/are cool but i havent thought about enough to have a real Take on:

- i can totes imagine scout having a big ol crush on medic because he has a type and the type is "older than him, dark haired and wears glasses". i kinda like the idea of this being one-sided? idk.

- an underrated (?) scout ship is probs scout and demoman. so much potential for sheer comedy and, for a lack of a better word, "bromance" lol. bromance but make it actually gay.

feels like most other ships i see as platonic/brotherly (pyro, heavy) or father/son (engie, and obviously spy). soldier is somewhere between the two i think. im not fully dismissing these pairings (aside from spyscout which im explicitly not interested in) because im sure someone would be able to come up with a good reading on them, i guess? mostly i dont really think about them.

by the way i love your art! the way you capture everyone's (and especially scout's) facial expressions, and you just have really solid lineart. it rocks.

[official-cisphobe]

konsta i apologize in retrospect if youre like. not That into tf2 anymore but im curious now.. do you have any interesting headcanons? : D (identity or plot/au-wise, either is fine!)

are you kidding??? I fucking love tf2 it's one of my special interests + hyperfixations

as for headcanons hell to the frickin yea:

my boy Scout like I said before is trans (I like to think nonbinary in some way) and bi/pan. he's also autistic, has adhd, and dyslexia. he's also nerdy as fuck. I imagine he's maybe aspec, probably nebularomantic (can't tell platonic and romantic attraction apart because of neurodivergency). also partially deaf!

Non👏binary👏Pyro👏, they're also panromantic and demisexual

Sniper is aromantic and gay as fuckk, also autistic with pretty bad social anxiety. you may think the sunglasses are just aesthetic but his eyes are pretty sensitive and he can get migraines from bright lights. I like to think he's rlly into plants!. a polite awkward boy,, <333

Medic is gay gay gay gay gay double triple mega gay. likes to give people nicknames. reenacts classical plays with his birds. really into mythology

Heavy also gay and probably autistic. a sweet boy and very smart! can probably cook rlly good and gives best hugs

Engineer doesn't label his attraction but he likes ppl of any gender ! probably ace. phantom pains and migraines, likes classical music and the occasional catchy pop song and ofc country music. wears flannel like it's a religious thing. he's!!! such!!! a!!! sweet!!!! lad!!!!! calls ppl pumpkin as a term of endearment

Soldier is partially deaf even more so than Scout. I don't have any headcanons for his sexuality but I doubt he cares much. very fatherly, he's the fun silly kind of dad who celebrates with the kids when they're getting McDonald's. Respects Everyone, it's one of his principles. "There's a reason why bigot rhymes with maggot!" he's not the sharpest tool in the shead but gods be dammed he's having the time of his life. animal lover

pan Demoman pan Demoman pan Demoman pan D- likes boardgames and card games, specifically uno. would make a great dad. loves puns and dad jokes. would wear one of those "kiss the cook" aprons at a barbecue. would come up with a different extravagant tale about his missing eye whenever people (especially kids) ask.

Spy is a bastard doodoo head. says he only drinks expensive wine but actually likes the cheap shit. he's French-Canadian. would make a fart joke and laugh at it himself (he canonically made a yo mama joke so you can't tell me this is beyond him). if asked what his plans for the weekend are he would reply "doing your mom" no I will not accept critisism.

[theabyssalmuses-archived]

Discord Quote Starters

Our server has a quotes channel...Here’s a few to use as interesting starters!

“You need help.” 

“I like Ponyta because they’re...horse type.” 

“What’s that legendary Pokemon that lives in the forest and looks like a horse...Bulbasaur.” 

"I love noodly fingers..."

“I want Shuten-Douji to rip my chest apart...” 

“I’m sorry you’re not human.”

“Scooby-Doo is a Sinner.” 

“I have a fursuit.”

“Look how fancy these houses are! They have their own walls!"

“I wonder if homosapiens were gay... Wait... We're homosapiens...”

"Mmm...Feet."

“Think of a chilli but its on low battery and in the next room over.”

"Honkie!"

“Moo.” 

“Yeah. That’s my fursona.” 

“Im being punished for my war crimes.” 

“It tastes...” 

“Who’s teeth are these?” 

“bampersand...” 

“That’s a pornography thing, isn’t it?”

“You’re gonna be so big compared to me.” 

“Do you think women are a real thing?” 

“The only way we could have improved our relationship was to do some genocide together.”

“We can post menacing pictures of oysters through the letterbox.”

“Notch was the Demoman.” 

“Can I live in your flesh hut?”

“I have very emotions.” 

“I just got played by a fucking cheesecake.” 

“I would wear a tail.” 

[alilacgalaxy]

More melee/tf2 headcanons (really freaking long sorry)

Melee kinda has a thing for Ms. Pauling. Doesnt like to admit it, but drunkily spits confessions to Demoman about it

Melee indeed prefers to be a cougar. (She may sometimes like older men/women)

Before melee goes to bed, she uses beauty creams, and facial stuff to make her look younger

Spy also takes part in her before bed pampering

Spy borrows melee's makeup and perfume at times. Sometimes her tights

Melee borrows his undershirts (never returns them)

Medic is a gay Jew (like me)

Melee is Pansexual

The Blu Engineer still has a thang for melee. Even after all these years

Blu engie still calls her son. After she left he stepped up and became a father figure to him.

On melee's son's birth certificate. Blu Engies names is on it. Due to melees ex husband not being there for the birth of his son. Engie claimed respondsibility of the child instead.

Blu engie, has visited her son countless times.

Saxton Hale and Pauling made a deal to help melee find her son.

Saxton hale bought melee her motorcycles to make ip for her car he destroyed.

The Melee's son's middle name is the Blue engies name

I decided to name the blue engie Marcus (mark for short) until canon comics confirm

Melee can make mean coffee drinks and teas due to her former job on owning a cafe

Melee can pick locks very good

Melee is fluent in Spanish, English, French, and knows a little greek

Even though Melee never graduated highschool. She is quite smart, and is the strongest in science. Melee dropped out from one of the finest private schools her parents could find.

Melee is kinda a compulsive liar.

Medic only knows melee before they were co workers is because when she was fleeing her husband, at the airport she saw him and the classic crew, gave them 10,000 bucks to cover her, and have medic heal her bloodied hand after her fingers were chopped off.

Melee has 3 fingers on her left hand.

Soldier still thinks Melee came from California. Due to her "Caramel skin and thick cali accent.."

The scout steals melee's tank tops at times

Red Sniper and Blue spy have relations *wink wonk* melee could care less.

Melee never snitches. She cant.

In melee's room. Hidden under the floor boards is a box of memories about her past life, ex husband, and blue spy.

Melee and Blu spy where engaged for a while.

Heavy has taken and used Melees grappler. And knows basic skill.

Medic is the only mercenary that has mastered melee's grappler.

Melee originally was supposed to be called "The Assassin" class. But melee sounded cooler for her.

One of melee's original melee weapons was supposed to be a sledgehammer. But she chose a tomahawk instead.

My headcanon ages are followed as such (youngest to oldest) UNTIL CANON PROVES YA BOY WRONG

Pyro: ????

Ms. P: 25

Scout: 27

Sniper: (heard in games he is 25..) 30

Melee: 40

Engie: 41

Soldier: 42

Demoman: 43

Heavy: 45

Spy: 47

Medic: 50

Pyro and Melee bake together

Melee has a hard time taking out sentrys

Sniper, has taken melees cowboy boots.

One of melees old jobs was she was a fire-eater. Still shows pyro old tricks.

Pyro has burn marks everywhere in the base

Melee knows how to play a double bass

Sniper hates spiders

Spy hates cockroaches

Medic hates bats

Heavy hates mice

Pyro hates clowns

Scout hates snakes

Demo hates horses

Solly hates crows

Melee hates wasps

A picture of Melee can be found in Pyros room

A picture of Medic can be found in Melee's room. Along with photos of Blu spy.

Pyro loves to mke candles

Melee's room is covered with candles

Heavy's favorite flower is the daisy

In case of emergency boxes of matches are hidden everywhere in the home base. For pyro

Melee has a box of coloring books and drawing things for pyro.

In my world until headcanonee Pyro is a transgender female named Jesse.

Pyro is Korean in my world until proved wrong in head canon

Under melee's pillow a butterfly knife is there because spy is overprotective.

There is a mattress under melee's bed complete with blanket, sheets, and pillow for pyro or any other visitor who decides to sleep in her room.

The mattress was placed there in the first place for Demoman. When he would passout after a night of drinking with her.

Medic joins in on drinking, a blanket, pillows line the floor in melee's closet for medic to go when he blacks out drunk.

Medic accidently locked himself in her closet for 1 day.

Sniper helps train melee with gun practice.

Melee always has a flask, and to-go bottle of hot sauce in her bra.

Melee's favorite drink is Pina Colada

Melee has a six-pack of cold ones under her bed as well

Engie can kick everyones ass in poker

Sniper is a badass at goldfish

Ms. Pauling likes when Melee flirts.

Melee sends Ms. Pauling flowers every now and then

Soldier takes melee's larger looser clothes for Zhanna. Melee doesnt mind.

Melee has a Tom Jones shirt scout gave her

Spy in his private rooms can be seen in sweatpants *gasp* and..a TSHIRT *GASP*

Medic hates pants

Sniper hates socks

Sniper only drinks Decaf coffee

Shockingly spy is a tea kind of man

Solly hates coffee

They all have a list on the fridge of the mercenarys daily chores

Engie and pyro are on dish duty

Scout and heavy are trusted with dusting, picking up garbage.

Demo and spy water plants

Medic and Melee do laundry and go grocery shopping

Solly and Sniper vacume, sweep, and mop floors

Heavy owns too many mixed socks. Never a pair that is the same.

K thanks for listening to my shitt late nighr head canons SORRY THIS IS SO LONG. IM BORED AND YEA

[lykanthropa]

No Homo, Bro

Scout is shocked when he learns that Medic is gay. When he tells him during a conversation that Scout is not his type anyway, the runner feels challenged. He is a sex bomb and no one can resist him. Not even Medic. And so he begins with the art of seduction

Art of seduction

“Pants down.” “D-does this really have to be?” “This is not your first time.” “Yeah, but…” “Don't make always such a fuss! Pants down.” “Can I first-“ “No! The hell, Scout!” The boy flinches at Medics's angry voice. He is standing in front of the older man in his underpants, but he simply cannot expose himself in front of him. Of course, it's nonsense to be ashamed of a doctor. This is as natural as... as... … … … … … Scout cannot come up with an idea. Medic sighs loudly. “Always the same with all of you... Come to my infirmary, cry around, you need my help and then you behave like chaste virgins when it comes to undress. I thought you'd hurt your penis. Then it's probably in your interest that I look at it.” “I just didn't hurt it... I broke it!” Medic laughs loudly. “I doubt that. If so, you would not be standing in front of me now. How was that supposed to happen?” “………” “What?” “I er... have my... baseball bat bound to my... penis...” “Speak louder, Bengel.” Scouts face turns completely red. He clenches his hands into fists and pinches his eyes tightly shut as the embarrassing confession bubbles out of his mouth. “Iboundmybaseballbattomypenis! …okay? When it was…erected.” Medic looks at him for a moment; and then breaks out into laughter. “Why did you do that? Did you want to push it up? Or measure it?” “Yeah… Don’t know…” Medic wipes the tears from his face, his laugh just die away slowly. Offended Scout crosses his arms in front of his chest. “Get finished already.” “I'm sorry Scout, but this is your own fault. How do you get such ideas? You should think that as a mercenary you don't have the time to get on such puberty thoughts. And that your penis cannot hold the heavy bat even in the erect condition, you should have known this. But what I always say; you never stop learning.” “Yeah, yeah…” “So, and now pants down. I want to take a look at it.” But again Scout hesitates. “Scout, I'm your team doctor. Your closest confidant. In this room, I am your best friend and what happens in here, remains here. Showing me your intimate area is completely natural. As natural as if your mother sees you naked.” The runner gets red again, his eyes widen in horror. “You don't do it any better, Doc!” “Come on. Make an effort. Now I just look at it. But as soon as you come in a certain age, you also need a prostate examination.” “What is that?” “I push a finger into your anus and examine tension of the sphincter, mucous membrane of the rectum, and size and condition of the prostate.” The horror is written in Scouts' face. “Are you also doing this with the others? Are you gay?” Medic is aghast. “First: yes, I do it with the others. Second: this has nothing to do with homosexuality.” “Hmm... And er... how do the others find that? I mean... how do they react when you insert... your finger... in there...?” “That is different. Some of them make a fuss, for others it's not a problem. Spy, for example, enjoys the palpate. And Demoman had even ejaculated.” “Why?!?” “When the prostate is touched, a man is sexually stimulated. Didn't you know that? Well, you're still a virgin. So that’s alright.” “I’m not a virgin!” “Sex dolls don't count.” Scout gasps. “W-where did you know this?!” “………” “I-I mean… That’s not true!” “Anyway. Even if that were true, you are still a virgin. A person is always virginal in two ways. Only when you has made experience with both sexes you has lost your innocence.” “…but… homosexuality is not normal.” “Why?” “Well...” Scout tries desperately to find a reason. Medic can only shake his head. “I am 30 years older than you. I have seen and experienced a lot. I was also young.” “I can’t believe that.” “Believe it. If I have learned one thing about humans, then that they are excellent guinea pigs and that they are nothing but animals. And what is more natural than nature?” “What do you mean? Animals don't do any homosexual activities.” “Oh yes. They do.” “You’re kiddin’ me.” “Not at all. In addition, there are species of animals in which the males bear the offspring.” “How is that supposed to work?” “Nature is a mystery. In humans there is even relactation in men.” “And what is that?” “The production of milk.” “………” Scout doesn't understand. But Medic disabuse him gladly. “Men can breast-feed.” Scouts jaws open up. He stares at Medic with wide eyes and a disbelieving glance. “Well, it gets better. There are even men who can become pregnant. However, they have a certain prehistory. Well, that's another story. Scout?” “I think… I have to lie down…” The boy is leaning with an arm on the operating table beside him. “Now don't make such a fuss. If all these things are possible, then it is only natural. Thanks to science, we have this knowledge. Be grateful for that. We live in a progressive age.” “Well, I don’t know if I should be happy about it... But I think you are only scaring me.” “Believe what you want. But now pants down!” Medic grabs Scout's boxer short and pulls it with a jerk from his hips. “Aaaahhhh! Doc! What the hell!?“ “Was that so hard now?” The boy turns his crimson head aside, staring rigidly at the wall. “Hmm…” Medic straightened his glasses. “It doesn't look particularly hurt. Are you still in pain?” “…no.” “Are you sure?” “Cannot you just take your beam gun and straighten it?” “Why should my Medigun be used when you have no pain?” “………” “You know, she cannot make it bigger.” Scout facepalm himself. He pulls up the boxer short in no time at all, graby his clothes and whispers excitedly: “Forget it. It was not so bad after all…” And so he storms out of the infirmary. “This Bengel…”

On the same evening, Medic and Heavy play chess in the common room. Scout and Pyro sit a few meters on the old couch and watch TV on the small apparatus. Scout looks at the TV with his eyes, but his ears are with Medic and Heavy. On the chessboard are only three game figures. Medic's White King and Pawn are blocked by Heavy's Black King. There is neither a forward nor a backward. “I can't believe it... For many years I've been playing chess, but I've never had a stalemate. Very good, Heavy. You are getting better and better” praises Medic his friend. “Thank you, Doktor.” “Are you finished already? It took a long time" gripes Scout, without taking the view from the TV. “Do you wanted to play, too?” “No? I’m not a grandpa after all.” “What does that have to do with it?” “Chess is an old people game.” Now the runner looks to the two who look at him with raised eyebrows. “As you may suppose, Bengel.” “Hmpf!” Engineer enters the room and announces that the dinner is ready. On the way to the dinner room, Medic is taken aside by Spy. “At a word, Medic?” “Of course.” “Is everything alright, Doktor?” “Yes. Go ahead, Heavy. We'll come right away.” “You too, Scout.” “Why? Do you have secrets?” “Immediately” Spy orders. The runner twisted annoyed his eyes and follows Heavy, towards the dining room When they are out of sight, Spy clears his throat. “What can I do for you, my friend?” “Jeremy was with you in the infirmary today.” “Yes, he was. And?” “Well, after visiting you ‘e was kind of different. Slightly distracted. Uncertain.” “I can very well imagine that.” “You didn't get too close to ‘im, did you?” For a moment, Medic looks at Spy skeptically. “What do you mean by that?” “I um…” “You think I would throw myself at your son? Is that what you want to tell me?” “Docteur, I…” “Do you want to explain to me that just because I'm homosexual, I make a pass at your son? That I consider him as fresh meat? Do you really want to give me credit that? I don't need to lay hands on a 30 years younger boy. Especially if it is the son of one of you. Sure I have my needs. You know very well that I call then for Heavy or Demo. Do you understand? Men.” Spy massages his temples. “I’m really sorry Docteur. I didn't want to ascribe you anything like that. It's just... I'm just feeling as if Jeremy is constantly searching for your proximity.” “And what do you conclude from it? That he might have fallen in love with me? I can imagine how he would react, if he should find out that I am gay. Since I can hardly imagine that he himself feels so. However, there are many people who pretend to be heterosexual, but inwardly wanting to become intimate with one's own gender. Is this what you fear?” “Of course not! I would be even proud of ‘im if he was gay. But I just don't want him to be intimate with someone who is so much older than ‘imself.” Medic sighs and puts a hand on Spy's shoulder. He even makes a smile. “Spy, as for that, you don't have to worry. I would never put a hand on him. For me, he is something like a son. He is the common son of this team. Our nestling. Besides, I'm the doctor. I don't want you any harm. This also applies to Scout.” Now Spy also smiles. It is a relieved smile. “I'm sorry Docteur. I should ‘ave known better.” “It's okay. He is your son. With this behavior, you prove that you love him and are concerned about him. You're a good father.” “Merci. But tell me, why was he so distracted after his visit with you?” “I told him only a few sobering things. I brought him the reality a little closer. Can you believe that? He didn't even know that there is relactation in men.” “I don't want to know ‘ow you came to this topic.”

After the dinner, Medic takes Heavy's hand and both go to the infirmary. There is Medic's bedroom. In front of the double door, Medic presses Heavy against the wall and kisses him hot-blooded. The Russian accedes with just as much enthusiastic. “So it is okay for you?” asks Medic and strokes his fingertips over Heavy’s crotch, where a clear bump is already palpable. “Da, Doktor…” Heavy grabs Medics buttocks with his big hands and pulls the doctor closer to him and then they kissing passionately. “What the hell is that crap?” Suddenly, Scout stands in front of them and looks at them with eyes wide. The boy is aghast. “Wait, what? You are gay?!” Medic sighs. “Scout, you can grin stupidly or make a disgusted face, but please do me a favor and don't say a word.” “…no homo, bro.” “I knew it…” With his hands raised Scout backs off, until he has gone around the corner. Medic sighs again. “Scout is silly baby. Does Doktor still is be up for sex?” “But sure, Heavy. Let's go to my bedroom.” Sure Medic still wants to sleep with Heavy, but he will not be able to prevent him from ever thinking that where Scout saw it now, that it would be hard with him in the future.

And indeed Scout avoids him the next day. He does not talk to him and he does not look at him either. He also does the same with Heavy. When they sit together for lunch at the dining table, exactly what Medic had thought happens. “Hey, guys. Did you actually know that Medic and Heavy are faggots?” It becomes quiet at the table. Only Soldier says: “I knew it!” But the others don’t go into it. “Have you nothing to say?” “We know that Medic is queer.” “What?! You know it? And you just tolerate that?” “There's nothing to it” says Engineer. “So you're probably gay too? Are you all gay, or what?” “Shut up!” Spy orders in the stern tone. “We are a team. That's all that counts. And if that a problem for you, then go back to your mama.” “………” “Grow up!” “Pah…! Great Team…” Medic hears all this quietly. He likes the boy and he does not want anything between them. But it all depends entirely on Scout. “Medic and Heavy are miserable fags. I can't be bothered.” Scout gets up from the table and leaves the room. The rest of the team eats on, as if nothing had happened. However, no one says a word anymore until they finish their meal. Med would prefer talking to Scout, but he decides that it would be better to leave the boy alone for a while. Some things just get back on their own. And that he would react so, was indeed foreseeable. But Medic did not want implicate Heavy in there. Only because of Scout, Medic had secretly met alternately with Heavy and Demoman, to get intimate with each other. Secretly, so this cannot happen. At least Demo is not dragged in.

All day long the runner doesn't put in an appearance. But in the evening both meet in the corridor. Scout seems to be on his way to the toilet and Medic is on his way to the infirmary. Scout looks straight ahead, wants to avoid any eye contact as much as possible. But as they walk past each other, he hears the younger one says: “No homo.” Medic is clear that he would say this to Heavy every time, too. And the native German does not want to accept this. He whirls around to Scout, grabs him by the arm and drags him into the infirmary against his will. “Let me go! No homo! NO HOMO! Help! Rape!” “I've had enough!” Medic drags him through the double door and pushes the boy to the center of the room and plants himself in front of Scout, his arms akimbo. “Now listen to me, you Bengel. I don’t care the way you call me. But dare you to do that with Heavy. He can do nothing for my inclination. He is not homosexual.” “Are you kiddin’ me? He was making out with you!” “I sleep with men because I like it. And Heavy gets himself into it because he is a man and also has his needs. After all, there are no women here. It's for us both only sex without any feelings. It often happens that heterosexuals sleep together. In prisons and in the army especially frequently.” “How can they live with it? I mean the heteros?” “As I said. It's just sex. Except for a few differences, there are no deviations from the male and female body.” “I would never do such a thing!” “You don't have to. Everyone decides for himself.” “………” “You know, it does not matter to me how you're doing it for you now. But I'll tell you one thing. If you don't stop treating Heavy differently than before, then you'll have big trouble with me. And believe me. It will not be fun.” “You cannot ask me to accept that after I just learned this yesterday. God! You saw me naked! Hasn't that aroused you?” “You have no choice but to accept it. Otherwise you must go back to your mother. And no. Your naked body did not really aroused me.” “………” “People who react like you are afraid of being tease by people like me. If this is your fear, I can take it from you. You're not my type, and you're too young.” “What do you mean, I'm not your type?” Medic gives the boy a skeptical look. “Hey! Don't understand it wrong! I am not gay! But... I'm sexy. I'm a sex bomb!” “Who told you this?” “………” “Go now. I have to work. And remember what I told you.”

Without a word Scout leaves the infirmary. Shocked, distracted... but also indignant. What did he mean, I'm not his type? I always thought gays would like all men. I am also a man! A good looking man. A sex bomb! Oh, wait, old man. I'm going to turn your head. Not aroused by my naked body. Pah! Straight ahead, the runner makes his way to the library. Actually, he wanted to get ready for the bed, because he was quite down. But now he has a task. A mission. The mission to seduce the old man (but not because he is gay, but to prove that homosexuals like all men.) And there will surely be a guidebook. The library contains about 150 to 200 books. Books, about battles and strategies. Medical books (Scout can remember how Spy had once asked Medic why these medical books are not in the infirmary so that the German always has them at hand when he needs them, and Medic replied that he did don't need them, he has all the knowledge in his head, and they only stand in the library, so that others can always get a look there, but they are quite bored and somecontain really nauseating pictures.) And some adventure books are also there , novels with romantic and uncanny content. Books about technology and plants. Many different books, but none about seduction. Who actually decided which books mercenaries read and which not? Well, surely no one has come to the idea that under the Mercs once homosexual acts would take place.

The next morning, Scout wakes up very early. He feels a squeeze in his back and pulls out a book under himself. At first he cannot explain what it is and how it came into his bed. But then he remembered. He was in the library late yesterday night and had been looking for a book about seduction. And actually found one (Who'd have thought that?) Immediately the boy is light-headed and flick through the sites hastily. Yesterday he was too tired for it. The thin book is divided into 7 chapters. “Hmm… Chapter 1… Don’t be pitiful. What does that mean? I'm not pitiful. I can skip this chapter.” When Scout wants to go to the second chapter, he pauses briefly. Memories awaken in him. Memories, where he had cried and called for his Ma. And everyone saw him. Even Medic. Is this the reason why he doesn't find him appealing? Below the first chapter is written: To appear needy and seduce someone close each other out. The more desperate you are, the less attractive you are to others. Even if you feel helpless, don't give in to this feeling. If you want to seduce a special person, try to show careless behavior. Show yourself a little light-hearted: do something risky or unexpected, so you remain a little mysterious. “Well, that should not be too difficult. But what can I do that is risky and unexpected at the same time?”

“Scout? Are you smoking?” In the corridor, Medic meets Scout, who is leaning against the wall and loosely holds a cigarette in his mouth corner, the hands in the pockets. “Oh, hey Doc. *cough*” With all his might, the boy does not try to cough. It's the first time he smokes and he hates it. But if he can impress Medic with it, it's worth it. But he doesn't look very enthusiastic. On the contrary. He pulls the cigarette out his mouth. “Since when do you smoke? Smoking is risky and I'm surprised that you start now with it.” “So that came unexpectedly for you? *Cough*” “Yes, indeed.” “Then that's the right thing. *Cough cough*” Scout takes Medic the cigarette away and put it back in the mouth. “What the…?! Give it back!” Medic takes Scout the cigarette away again. “No smoking here!” “There you are, you little thief!” Sudden, Spy stands next to the two and takes Medic the cigarette away. “Keep away from my cigarette case in the future!” He puts the cancer stick into his mouth, but Medic does not want to accept it, either. He also takes away the cigarette from the Frenchman. “That applies to you, too! No smoking here! I've told you a thousand times!” Scout observes the situation. He couldn't impressed Medic, but he is not depressed at all, because he is able to see how Spy is scolded by Medic.

Chapter two: Relax The more you feel comfortable, the better the other person will feel in your presence, and the more receptive he/she will be to your seduction. “I should relax? Nothing easier than that.”

Scout grabs his baseball bat and goes outside to hit a few balls. This is what relaxes him most. And then everything else pass him. Also, where he hits his 13th ball. Directly to the window of the infirmary. The ball hits the windowpane with a loud clash. The runner froze. For a moment, time seems to stand still. Then… “SCOUT!”

Chapter three: Be in high spirits Smile. Touch. Be silly. People like to have a good time, so do not be too serious. Have fun with the person. Enjoy the time. People with a relaxed attitude are more attractive. Humor is another important aspect of your personality that plays a role in how attractive you are to others. Be able to laugh at yourself. Show that you cannot take quite serious criticism with a smile. Because if you are teasing other people (and you should, because exuberance is attractive), then you should be able to take a joke, too. “Hmm… Humor is indeed a part of my personality. And I also like to stultify others.”

Scout pay a visit to the warehouse, where the team keeps all their hats and grab the one that looks the most ridiculous. The potassium cap, a large banana-shaped hat and out it on. Then he detects Medic in the common room, where he and Heavy play chess again. Scout creeps up on Medic from behind. They don't notice him because they are deeply absorbed in their game. “Surprise!” He loops Medic from behind an arm around his shoulder and pressed his cheek to the doctor's. He was just about to make a move and with shock he sweeped two chess pieces from the board. “Hello there, fagots. Hey, Doc. Have you ever noticed that you have ears like an elf? Hahahaha! So spiky. You only need an elf costume and you are qualify as an elf. Hahahahaha!!” Cloudy glances rest on the boy. “H-hey! That was just a joke! Just fun, just fun!” “What do you want, you Bengel?” “Nothing special. Just wanted to check out what you are doing here.” Scout solidifies his embrace. But instead of feeling attracted, Medic seems rather irritated. “We are playing chess…” “I see.” Silentness prevails between the three. “…um… don't want you say something to me?” “Da! Why is Scout still here?” “No, I mean... Don’t want you to insult me... or something like that?” Medic and Heavy exchange glances. “Why should you want that? Has this something to do with your headdress?” “I want to prove to you that I can also laugh about myself.” “Oh? Normally, you always laugh about others. I hardly believe that you have the certain maturity to be able to take a joke.” “Oh, c’mon! Just try it!” “Leetle Scout is small, stupid and cheeky.” “Yeah, yeah. That’s me.” “You're messy, loud, annoying.” “Well, what am I to say?” “Scout has buckteeth.” “………!” “And although you are almost 23 years old, you are still not out of your pubertal behavior. Is that not embarrassing to you?” “……….” Scout has to admit that he feels a bit offended. And he feels dumb. Probably he is not ready yet. Next chapter... But before he goes back to his room, he mumbled a sorry.

Chapter four: Do not always be accessible People like being together with other people who are doing exciting and interesting things in their lives because they are happy about someone sharing their precious time with them. So what do you arrive if you try to reach them or talk to them  continuous? Nothing. Therefore, you should not try to spend your time with the other person constant, but to form the relationship slowly. “Does that mean I should ignore Doc now? Hmm…”

Successful Scout can avoid Medic. He does not speak to him and he does not even look at him. But there is a situation where Medic is carrying a heavy, overcrowded box and a book is falling out, and no one is near, except Scout. “Ah, Scout. Would you be so kind and help me?” With his hands in his pockets, Scout looks down at the book, disinterested. “Scout, please.” “Sorry Doc. I have to take a look at my calendar first. We'll defer it until later, okay?” So the runner turns his back to the doctor and cannot help but smile. So far, he had carry out the instructions every chapter in the book. Soon Medic would have fallen for his charm.

Chapter five: Use your body language effectively Radiate with your movements self-confidence. Most people do not feel attracted by wallflowers but by people who are confident. Do not forget to smile and if possible make body contact if it is appropriate and not too obtrusive. Use your body language to flirt. If you are not a Goethe or a Schiller when dealing with words, you must not be afraid. You can send subtle signals to the people you want to win for you, depending on the social situation. Do not be afraid to touch the shoulder or arm of your opponent when you speak to him/her. Use eye contact when flirting. Eyes are incredibly powerful tools, so use them wisely. Watch your date in the conversation. For there is nothing more to cry for self-confidence than a deep look into the eyes of your counterpart. “What the hell is a Goethe and Schiller? Hmm… Body and eye contact. That should be not difficult. And I am not a wallflower at all!”

Scout waits until Medic returns from the toilet. He stood impatiently at the door. He has works a few words out which he would like to say to Medic. But he's quite nervous And then the door opens. Scout loses no time, stands directly in front of the doctor and stares into his eyes (he has to stand on tiptoes). Medic is freeze. Scout interprets this as a sign that he does everything right. Eyes are incredibly powerful tools. This really seems to be right. “Scout…?” “I have to tell you something, Doc.” “Yes, please?” “Roses are red, violets are blu... er...” Scout stares into Medic's eyes and misses completely that his opponent feels quite uncomfortable. “I would never have thought I'd say that once, but you're slowly becoming eerie, you Bengel.” “You probably do not like poems, do you? Well then uh…” Scout is actually a conversational genius, but only when it is spontaneous. But in this situation it is difficult. He really wanted to give him only this poem, but he is so nervous that he has forgotten half of the text. And now he has to say something else. But he does not know what to say to him, so he still stares at him. And besides don't speak glances louder than words? Medic looks uncertain back and forth. “Ah, Heavy. Could you help briefly?” “What’s wrong with Scout, Doktor?” “I don’t know it either. Could you take him to the side so I can finally get back to my work?” “Da, Doktor.” Scout is taken from behind under the arms, uplifted and put aside. “Thank you, Heavy.” Such an embarrassing crap... Next chapter.

Chapter six: Do not be like an open book Keep some things secret. You should not share every detail of your life directly with the other person, because secrets are always attractive. By doing this, other people notice that they do not know everything about you and this mystery gives you a seductive aura. Resist the urge to tell the other person your whole life story, especially nothing about your parents. This is not to say that parents are not great, but they are not very seductive. If you are forced to tell something about yourself, give up only vague details and do not go into too much detail. You can explain where you come from, how you grew up and what your plans for saving the world are, but keep it in conversation and do not tell a long, long composition. “My Ma is very seductive. Otherwise, Spy would not always be after her... Why shouldn’t I tell him about her? Medic is gay. He will not be interested in her. Hmm... I'm supposed to remain mysterious. My plans for saving the world? Well, we all save the world because we make sure that Gray Mann with his robots does not get the power over Man Co. So it's nothing new. And I always hated compositions anyway. Hmm…”

“Hey, Doc.” “What do you want again, you Bengel?” “Do you want to know what I'm hiding behind my back?” “No idea… Your baseball bat to crash another window of mine?” “No. And you know what? I won't tell you. This is my secret.” “Aha…”

Chapter seven. The last chapter. Be patient Wait until the other person's desire for you has reached the same level as your desire for them. You should believe that it is only a matter of time until someone realizes what an incredible person you are. If you do not agree, you will not be able to seduce anyone. For it is a fact that we naturally feel attracted to people in whose presence we feel comfortable, which make us laugh and a little out of our reach (because the unknown is exciting). This is the essence of man. “That mean, I should just wait until Medic throws himself at me? After all the things I did, he must have finally realized what an incredible person I am. He can no longer pretend that I'm not a sex bomb! I know he wants me!”

So Scout is waiting. He waits for Medic to come and confess to him that he wants his body. But he waits in vain. He always stays close to him, but he does not pay any attention to him. It's almost as if nothing had ever happened. Everything is, as always. As if Scout had never made a fool of himself. That hurts. And he gets angry. After days of waiting, Scout rushes into the infirmary. Medic is sitting at his desk, writing something. He looks up as Scout rushes through the double door, goes to his desk and tears apart his t-shirt in front of him. Perhaps that is the only language that these homosexuals understand. But Medic looks calmly at him. “Do you have chest pain, Scout? Can't you breathe?” This makes Scout even more angry. With a strong momentum he sweeps everything from the desk and lays himself on it. “Come on! Take me! That’s what you want, isn’t it?” “………” Medic straightened his glasses before answering calmly. “Scout, should I have offended you or even sent you wrong signals, I'm sorry.” “………” “Come. Sit up.” Medic takes Scout's hand and helps him up. The boy now sits quietly in front of him on the table and avoids looking at Medic. “Now tell me what's going on in you.” “………” “Do you like me?” Scouts face turns red and he lowers his head. “I must say it was really cute of you, as you tried to catch my attention.” “You do noticed?” “Of course. That was obvious. Even though many things have surprised me.” “Well… I've tried to seduce you.” “So it was the art of seduction.” Medic laughs. “What's so funny? I've made myself a completely fool.” “Who told you to do that?” “I read it in a book.” “In a book…?” “From the library.” “Oh, you mean this book.” Medic laughed again. Scout feels very unpleasant. “This book is nothing like junk.” “Oh, no no. On the contrary. The things described in it are already correct. However, you seem to have easily misunderstood everything in it.” “Whatever… It was all in vain anyway.” “But why did you want to seduce me? I thought you don't like homosexuals?” “…before I learned of your inclination, I often sought your closeness. I don’t know why either. I suddenly wanted to be near you. I thought maybe... maybe the bond of our friendship became stronger. But now that I know you're gay, I realize slowly that I've fallen in love with you...” “There, there. That's not a reason to cry.” “I don’t cry...?” But after Scout had said this, he felt the hot tears on his cheeks. “You're really a sweet Bengel.” “Why do you always call me like that? What does it mean anyway?” “Bengel means naughty boy.” “I’m not a boy. And I’m not naughty.” “But you are” says Medic with a charming smile. “And besides, if you take the B away, the Bengel becomes Engel.” “And what DOES it mean?” “Angel.” Scout looks at Medic with wide eyes. He puts a hand on the back of his head, pulls him down to himself and gives him a kiss on his forehead. “Don't fall in love with me. Don't fall in love with anyone from here. Save your love for someone out there, for whom you don't have to be dislocate. You are still so young, and you’ve still got all your life in front of you. You’re an attractive boy. I'll bet you'll fall in love often. And then into someone who is not quite as old as I am.” A shy smile appears on Scout’s face. “Thanks, Doc.” “Why don’t you go to Heavy in the weights room? Lift some weights together. Besides, I think you still have something to say to him.” “Yeah… B-but shouldn't I help you clean up?” “I will do that. Go now. But take a new T-shirt first.” “Roger that. See ya.”

When Scout left the infirmary, Medic begins to put the things back on his desk. At this moment, Spy makes himself felt. “Ah, Spy. So you've heard everything?” “Of course. I didn't miss the fact that Jeremy ‘as behaved very strange in the last few days. And now I know why.” “Then you didn't miss the fact that I turned him down.” “In point of fact, no. You told ‘im not to fall in love with someone ‘ere. Doesn't that count for you, too?” “I don't know what you mean. I'm not in love with someone.” “It's obviously that you love not only Heavy's body.” “I have sex with Demo too, you know?” “Sure, but only so Heavy doesn't notice anything about your feelings for him. Demoman is nothing else but an alibi, a distraction. If you only wanted to sleep with Heavy, the Russian would be suspicious.” “………” “Be that as it may. It still worries me that he ‘as fallen in love with a so much older man.” “Well, there are two possible speculations. Either, I am so attractive that even boys like Jeremy fall for my charm. Or he suffers from a daddy issues.” There is a certain sharpness in Medic's voice. And Spy notices this. “Even though I hardly believe that he will ever talk to you again, you should finally tell him that you are his father. But not now and not here. Do it when our job is done here. And do it with his mother. Because when he knows it, he will need a lot of support.” Spy nod lost in thought with his head. Then he turns around and leaves.