bruciemilf

[bruciemilf]

HEY???????

We truly underestimate how THIRSTY gothamites would be for Batman.

First off: The fact that Gotham citizens haven’t mass migrated to other cities tells me they’re absolute freaks. Yeah, you can get an apartment for 13$/mo, but chances are, Joker’s either gonna be your roommate, or neighbor. Not worth it.

Secondly: He’s big tiddy goth gf personified.

He cannot get any work done because he’s catcalled. Constantly. Sometimes during interrogations.

“You can tell me where Penguin’s next hit is gonna be, or I can smash your fingers.”

“Smash ME!”

Bruce, with the biggest sigh ever to exist: Please go back home, random civilian.

It gets particularly worse after he starts adopting the batkids, because now, not only has he achieved gravity shattering MILF status, he’s so busy with child rearing he sometimes forgets to shave.

Gotham twitter starts going crazy for the #Batbeard, and it gives the batkids severe brain damage. Everytime someone tweets about wanting to ride Bruce’s face, a piece of their soul dies.

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P.O.V the Batfam watching a crippled Bruce after night reign having to accept help, and than promptly having to begin training with Alfred again, before going around to learn, and the family just learn about the 17 yr old Bruce, his old training regimens, and all of such. And now he had to get good at acrobatics from Dick and such.

And how his original training was so much more brutal than the already brutal training he does now.

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Bruce loves his family desperately but he's got one mode and that's detective mode lol

Prev / Index

Commission Info / Kofi (members get comics a week early)

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The funny thing about Batman is that despite his secrecy and isolation, he is always that dude with a place.

Need to discuss a mission? Batcave. Need to get your injuries treated? Batcave. Need a gadget or a plane? Batcave. Need a rare antidote to a poison created from a fish that only lives in Cambodian rivers? Batcave, somehow.

Bruce built the Waychtower because he was tired of the “so what’s the move?” question after every mission. The move is not the Batcave get out of my house—

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Time travel AU where Flash accidentally resets the timeline by moonwalking.

Moonrunning? Moonjogging? He hasn’t decided yet.

All he knows is this; When they figure out how to retrieve the Bat and his birds from ‘94 Gotham, his ass is grass.

—-

Bruce breaths Gotham in. It tastes like stale piss, expired cigars, and sinful intentions.

Tim is trying to build a Doctor Who time machine out of a payphone.

It’s held together by sticky gum and spite. The profanities scribbled on the glass are so strong Jason blushes.

Dick, ever so tortured, looks like a war vet who lost blinking privileges. “I’m pretty sure I just saw someone throw a body in a dumpster.”

Steph’s attention gravitates to a pair of rats robbing a cat for a can of tuna. Duke refuses to engage with this foolery, frankly.

“We don’t even exist yet. How does that work. How do you just exist one moment, and then you don’t. Only in Gotham, dude.”

Jason snorts. “You want the funny answer, or the real one, twinkle toes?”

Damian, for a lack of dignified description, is cranky.

He was supposed to watch animal planet with Batcow and Jon. It’s past his bedtime. Bruce gently patting his back is NOT adequate compensation.

He’s about to tell him, don’t worry, baba is going to fix it, but—

Bruce’s world, momentarily, incapsulates two figures bickering in front of a restaurant.

Not hateful. Intimate and knowing and intense, but not hateful.

Thomas. Nursing a cigarette with a rapidly declining lifespan, and Martha, looking like she told Gotham to chew glass and get a better wardrobe.

Bruce? Bruce carried his 8 year old corpse under his ribs for 30 something years, and it’s the first time he felt it move.

He doesn’t think. Not really. He just walks. Stares.

“You good, kid? You look like if Edgar Allen Poe fought a raccoon and died.”

Bruce’s thinking capacity is reduced to zero.

He doesn’t know if it’s Dick or Jason who cursed behind him. Just that he crumbled in Thomas’ arms and wailed.

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Robert Pattinson as Bruce Wayne on ‘The Batman’ set in Liverpool [October, 14]

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little baby Damian Wayne with his big brother Jason Todd

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What do you do when the proverbial prince of gotham throws a couple grand worth of fine liquor on one of the most powerful crime bosses in the city and leaves the party? You follow him out and introduce yourself, of course.

inspired by this post by @bruciemilf including their fancast for harvey because um obviously it's perfect (and also a fair bit of influence from the a wild battinson series by @emo-batboy because i'm obsessed with it and it's canon in my heart).

It's early autumn; which means it's the start of the rainy season in Gotham (or rather more rain) and of Harvey's latest semester at Gotham University (GothU, affectionately). Harvey isn't entirely sure how he ended up at this shindig, if he's being honest, and the person who even invited him as his plus one has vanished. He's in law school but he's still only in pre-law, he hasn't even made a name for himself yet as some sort of future threat.

(It's still early enough that about 50% of students he's going through with are still starry eyed and haven't entirely given up on the idea of making Gotham a better place.)

The weird intersection of various gangs, businessmen, politicians (corrupt or otherwise), and local celebs is there on full display; and Harvey just wants to get the fuck out of there, but he has no idea where his ride is and frankly he's a broke law student he does not have the money for a cab all the way back into central Gotham from where they are.

But then, something catches his eye-- or rather, someone:

Bruce Wayne.

Bruce Wayne had recently crossed the threshold into being the richest man in the world (just surpassing the much older Lex Luthor), with the biggest company in the world (again surpassing Luthor's own corporation), and the closest thing Gotham has to true and actual royalty.

The same Bruce Wayne that was also in two of Harvey's classes this semester at GothU for reasons he did not understand.

Harvey is admittedly, briefly entranced. Sure they share classes and like him, Bruce attends every single one, but Harvey is pretty sure he's never been this close to the man still (or maybe it just feels closer compared to the large university lecture halls). Heads turn whenever and wherever Bruce goes; and it wasn't just because he was so unfathomably rich or because nearly all of Gotham was protective of the young man. From adorable child, to cute (if sullen) pre-teen, and now into an attractive (if sullen) young man-- Bruce was hot. Sure, in a kinda funky have we confirmed he's not a Victorian vampire way but honestly maybe it was just the classical Gotham influence that made him read that way.

Harvey, even in his trance, can tell that Bruce Wayne looks uncomfortable. He can't tell if it's the social interaction or the people he's surrounded by, but either way Bruce didn't look happy to be there really. Harvey can't help but find himself compelled to watch the billionaire, because he knew the public reputation of Bruce Wayne (generous to a fault, prince of gotham but king of social anxiety and awkwardness, person you could trust to leave your small children around); but what was he like at these weird little parties where it was almost all folks who were deeply corrupt and entrenched? Was it all just a persona? Would he start doing that weird haughty laugh a lot of these other rich fucks seemed to do?

Harvey was still one of those starry-eyed pre-law students, he wanted to make a real and lasting change in this godforsaken city. Bruce Wayne held the most power and influence here. Would he be an potential ally, or Harvey's biggest obstacle?

A figure was suavely bee-lining towards Bruce, the crowd parting way for him. Harvey didn't see who the person was until they stopped before the prince, and Harvey nearly dropped the expensive, crystal glass in his hand. Carmine Falcone. Not one of his lieutenants, not some people just associated with the crime boss, no. Falcone himself. Christ, what did I get dragged into? I'll pay another semester worth of tuition if it gets me outta here--

"Bruce, my dear boy! I'm soo glad you decided to join us," Falcone practically croons, and approaches with two glasses in hand. Harvey thinks he see's a slight twitch to Bruce's eye, but the man's expression doesn't change really even with the man's arrival. Falcone pushes the fresh glass of alcohol into Bruce's hand, then swiftly and smoothly wraps a long arm around Bruce's shoulders.

Harvey watches as Bruce looks from the glass, as if trying to determine it's contents then up to Falcone, eyebrow slowly arching. Harvey can't hear everything, the crowd just barely too loud. But Falcone starts steering Bruce further into the party. Right, I need to stop gawking and find my ride--

Harvey gulps down the last of his drink, though the taste makes him want to gag. Maybe he's just not sophisticated yet enough to appreciate the morbidly expensive alcohol. He hastily sets the glass down on the nearest passing waiter's tray, and starts to look for his ride.

The search brings him closer to Falcone, which isn't thrilling, but necessary in order to sweep the room. Harvey mentally swears because the place is huge and he's probably going to have to go room by room and--

"-- my boy, just think of the potential!" Falcone's voice floats so easily over the crowd, and the guy makes Harvey's skin crawl but even he has to admit the man has his own weird ass charisma. Harvey's attention is drawn back, involuntarily, to the crime boss and Bruce Wayne. The younger man hasn't touched his drink, if Harvey had to guess; and Falcone is staying practically plastered to his side. The younger man looks so so uncomfortable and frustrated? Annoyed? Mad? It's hard for Harvey to place, because somehow Bruce Wayne also continues to look sullen and exhausted.

The crowd around Falcone is a delicate balance of men and women clearly are comfortable around him; and people who were trying to find a way to get near while not incur the wrath of his many bodyguards. Then there was Harvey, who wants nothing to do with anyone here thankyouverymuch. Harvey scans the area one last time, not finding his so-called friend; his eyes land briefly at Bruce again before he starts to turn.

"-- I mean... you're father--" Falcone can't finish his sentence and Harvey turns back just in time to see Bruce Wayne splash the insanely expensive alcohol directly into Falcone's face.

Besides a few gasps, it goes quiet in the immediate area and quickly radiates out. Everyone is shocked, including Harvey, but he also is amazed byt he sight of Bruce. He looks as unimpressed by Falcone as he is angered. Bruce says nothing, and Harvey watches as he turns on his heel and starts calmly leaving; politely placing his glass on a waitresses tray on his way out.

Harvey has no idea what compels him to do so, but he follows the billionaire out.

"Wayne! Mr. Wayne!" Harvey calls as he jogs to catch up; the man has a surprisingly fast pace and while a crowd will part for the prince, it's not about to make way for some punk pre-law student they don't even know the name of.

Bruce Wayne stops, steps away from the gleaming black car that's running. His famous butler by his side, umbrella open above their heads.

Both men look to Harvey, curious and expecting, as he skids to a stop. Harvey realizes he didn't think far enough ahead, and swallows thickly. Thankfully though, Bruce speaks first.

"Harvey, Right? Harvey Dent?" Bruce says and Harvey blinks.

"You- wait, you know who I am?"

"Sure," Bruce says easily, like his name is worth remembering to a man like him. The rain is still falling, steadily and soaking Harvey. "You're the only one saying stuff worth listening to in those classes," he adds.

Harvey blinks, and he's glad the light is shit in the overcast weather, because his face warms at the acknowledgement. "Oh..."

"I didn't expect you at a place like this," Bruce says, voice curious as he watches Harvey closely in a way that makes him want to squirm a little under the scrutiny. It's not malicious feeling, though--- Harvey thinks it seems more curious, than anything.

"My friend dragged me here, didn't tell me what was going on..." Harvey admits.

Alfred leans in and whispers something to Bruce. Bruce nods, not taking his eyes off Harvey. "Would you like a ride home, Mr. Dent?" Alfred asks.

They don't go directly to Harvey's place, and Alfred doesn't even drop Bruce off first. Instead--

"Bat Burger?" Bruce asks, as he settles fully into the seat next to Harvey. "I'm starving."

"Oh! Uh, sure?" Harvey blinks, and then looks down as Bruce pulls out a towel of all things, from-- somewhere? and offers it to him. Harvey takes it, starting to dry off how best he can.

"Alfred?"

"Of course, sir," Alfred says easily from the driver seat ahead. "So, what glorious exit did you make this time, Master Bruce?"

Bruce makes a strangled noise, scoffing. "Who says I did anything?" He replies, and Harvey stifles a laugh-- not because of the denial so much as the billionaire sounds like a kid trying to hide the mess he just made.

Harvey can see in the rear view mirror Alfred raise an eyebrow.

"He threw his very expensive drink in Falcone's face," he provides and Bruce sends him a scowl but it has no bite and he's even smiling a little.

"Oh, Bruce, really?" Alfred chides like an exhausted parent.

"Don't worry, it was expensive, not good," Bruce says in his defense; and Harvey laughs.

to be continued? maybe? IDEK.

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WAIT THATS IT??

Ok, so I’m reading Titans #29, just to experience Jason vs Tim in it’s full glory. Jason incapacitating the remaining titans, showing up to duel Tim like a regency era bandit with a vendetta, DRESSED AS ROBIN? Cunt. Earth shattering. Jason Todd who’s out there doing it like you.

[bruciemilf]

Ok, so I’m reading Titans #29, just to experience Jason vs Tim in it’s full glory. Jason incapacitating the remaining titans, showing up to duel Tim like a regency era bandit with a vendetta, DRESSED AS ROBIN? Cunt. Earth shattering. Jason Todd who’s out there doing it like you.

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You think Bruce stays awake at night imagining Martha and Thomas being grandparents for the batkids? Like he can clearly see his parents supporting Dick as he competed in gymnastics tournaments and Thomas teaching Jason how to fix cars starting when he was ten. Martha would constantly call Tim for tech support help and he would do it everytime. Thomas would take Cass fishing because she was quiet but shockingly good at it. Duke would come over and decorate the Manor with them because his family used to do it and Martha and Thomas would bake him cookies, not even have Alfred do it. Thomas would love how intelligent Dami is and constantly ruffle his hair. But Bruce realizes it will never happen and so he bottles up his feelings more?

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VALID.

“Do you want to make a stop for Batburger?”

[Incoherent concussed Jason noises]

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“Hey, kiddo.”

Dick and Damian Week Day 4: Reunion!

a scene from the lovely fic soft clocks by dustorange!

Side effects of being revived by Lex Luthor may include amnesia, going undercover into a high-level espionage agency, not recognizing your family, fighting your family, and dealing with the emotional weight and guilt associated with encountering said family. Ask your doctor if being revived by Lex Luthor is right for you. (a.k.a. Dick has amnesia during his time at Spyral. The family grapples with finding out he's alive. Dick grapples with finding out he has a family. Inspired by this post by bigskydreaming.)

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Brucie can Crash Out sometimes

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A very lazy sketch of jason being protective over his father. Aka cockblocking.

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I would love to see Battinson, — Victorian vampire thrown into modern times, Gotham royalty baptised in blood and poor social skills, ‘Count Dracula but make it vogue’, — have a Harvey.

These two dancing around eachother in the vicious loop of ‘wait, you’re flirting with me?’ ‘Have been for a decade, but thanks for noticing’, and ‘kiss your doomed bros good night’ is amazing.

But also? You would never guess they’ve been married for YEARS.

Dent, justice in putrefaction, one foot on the law’s neck, one hand holding fate at gunpoint, somehow bagged Wayne.

Who, questionable adoption habits and eyeliner application aside, is THE prettiest motherfucker in the tri-state.

Seriously. Dick saw someone drive straight into a traffic light when Bruce walked him to school.

He’s seen a lot of weird shit in Gotham.

By far the weirdest was seeing Bruce, current foster father, who once cried because Dick told him ‘good job!’ for not burning eggs, talking his husband out of committing a felony.

Because Dick got an ‘F’ on his essay about birds.

Harvey, tucking a gun in his waistband, mutters angrily, — thought, sometimes Dick believes there’s a third party involved, cause Harvey’s right handed, but he only shoots with his left.

“I would love to see Belinda climb a fucking tree for two hours looking for feathers.”

Bruce, voice like a pianist singing in the rain, arms crossed, patiently cocks his head, eyes dark and doe eyes and eyelashes dagger sharp. “Harv.”

And Harvey? Folds. Immediately. Like a napkin with blood stains on it. It’s actually kind of embarrassing.

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Hi, really sorry, but I thought, like, the Batfam and Battinson were like seperate things? Cause it always seemed just a little off or something? But a recent post of yours makes me think they might be the same thing?

I'm not sure how I'd look something like this up, so I was wondering if you'd be willing to explain Battinson to me?

Totally chill if not!

Tyyyt

Oh they’ve. Always been intertwined to me sjsjs that man deserves a whole ass family. BUT! That post IS from a specific AU :> honestly thought, I’ll always imagine Bruce as Robert Pattinson regardless of context. Thanks, Matt Reeves