#demotivated and demoralized

[azufres]

calc ii final tomorrow

[the-valiant-valkyrie]

if i told you guys i made a 30 minute game review/game design analysis on ieytd2 in comparison to the first one would you believe me and follow up quastion would you still love me if i told you that was over a year ago and i never actually finished it

[dawgsprite]

Really fucking trying to keep it together today 😬

[alex-guerin]

So, today I learned...that general maintenance got a 3% raise (which, good for them! They deserve a raise)...but nothing has been said to anyone else about raises. Also, that we're the lowest paid warehouse in the company, and they fucked with our incentive rate (the extra money we get each week for hitting a certain percentage everyday).

Well isn't. That. Special.

[maximumphilosopheranchor]

Russian lies are meant not only to disinform, to make action more difficult, but also to demotivate, to make action seem senseless. Russian memes work not by presenting Russia as a positive alternative, but by demoralizing others. No one wants to be close to "Nazis," and the simple introduction of the lie is confusing and saddening. The same holds with the Russian meme to the effect that Ukraine is corrupt. A completely bogus Russian source introduced the entirely fake idea that the Ukrainian president had bought yachts. Although this was entirely untrue, Representative Greene then spread the fiction. Senator J.D. Vance also picked up the "yacht" example and used it as his justification for opposing aid to Ukraine. The larger sense of that lie is that everyone everywhere is corrupt, even the people who seem most admirable; and so we might as well give up on our heroes, on any struggle for democracy, or any struggle at all. Ukraine's president, Volodymyr Zelens'kyi, chose to risk his life by remaining in Kyiv and defending his country against a fearsome attack from Russia which almost all outsiders believed would succeed within days. His daring gamble saved not only his own democracy, but opened a window of faith that democracies can defend themselves. It confirmed the basis lesson of liberty that individual choices have consequences. The lie directed at Zelens'kyi was meant not only to discredit him personally and undermine support for Ukraine, but also to persuade Americans that no one is righteous and nothing is worth defending.

Timothy Snyder

[isa-ghost]

So like... Does anyone feeling sad and unenthused and tired and demoralized about the whole,, Everything wanna lay in a cuddle pile and be sad and unethused and tired and demoralized together.

If you're not quite all those things you can join, I'm sure yall are a lil sad about one part or another still even if it hasn't demotivated you

[cuddlesomeone]

feeling really demotivated and demoralized and not wanting to go to the gym bc i’m weak

time to listen to vegeta’s tournament of power monologue

[c0nji]

im not sure if youre still here but reachartwork is very clearly pro ai art and all that entire post was pretty much designed to demoralize and be a psychological blow that ai is already past being wrangled back in, but its still not and much like how that whole learning generation bullshit "learns" how to bypass stuff it also means there are going to be counters against that.

not just that but remember that were all still in a early stage of this whole fuckery. lies can run across the world several times before the truth has its boots on. rampant thievery and abuse happens faster before the safelines can be put up. were in the wild west period of ai bullshit and its also very critical to not lose hope

that person has very clearly left out the fact people are not taking this down and sueing those things left and right, and the fact that someone who tried to copyright something using ai art lost severely. do not lose hope. nightglaze can and still will work. another thing to remember is that ai scrapers are also lazy as shit and even that "1% gaussian blur" means they have to do something other than copy paste and barriers like that can demotivate THEM into giving up

please know its not hopeless. please know art is still worth all the passion you can express. please know its not all fucked up bullshit.

it might be rough, but once the regulations are up and more of those losers get sued into oblivion and laws refined, thing will get better

[kosmicdream]

I got this ask on curiouscat but.. the site wont let me post my reply?? so i just decided to put it here since i dont get a lot of questions these days. so i like to answer them when i actually have something more to say. this one also went kinda off topic but w/e.

==

Q: How do you keep the motivation to work on all your long comics? I always start and then abandon a project cause another distracts me or I feel unsatisfied with the result... I admire your commitment so much!

===

Aw, thank you! I really appreciate it. But don’t get too discouraged.. I get distracted too! I currently have 9 ongoing comic projects with 2 more i eagerly want to start drawing, and at least a dozen concepts on the backburner that have been around for sometimes over a decade. I think that what I’ve found, is that starting a new comic takes so much time. It takes a lot of time to get a story really rolling, time to learn how to draw the story how you want and in a weird way - having a longer comic you’ve had more experience with, you can pull a lot more things from. I generally find that FFAK and NRD are much easier comics for me to work on because of all those years of experience with them. But it still can get demoralizing if i focus too much on the faults or how long I still have to go. Sometimes its easy to feel that readers have lost interest and moved on, or its just not as good as you wanted it to be, ect. If you look for reasons like that, reasons to demotivate you, you’ll find them in spades.So i try my best to NOT do that, because working on a comic is hard enough.

In a weird way, when i sometimes find myself in the pit of struggles like this - i realize every author ive ever read has been in the same shoes as me. There is no artist that just magically has it easier and never runs into some challenges like this, some challenges can never be overcome because they’re part of the experience of making the project. There’s limitations involved and things change overtime. You won’t always have the same experience with the same story as you make it, or the same feelings involved. Sometimes that's really hard to let go of, if you feel the earlier years were so much better than the struggles you have now. I know I faced that hurdle with FFAK and I am currently going through that with NRD, but even the harder times do change too. It never gets easy to make a comic, but it changes. 

With FFAK, i don’t honestly know how I will finish the complete story. I often struggle too, especially with the third (final) arc, if it really is good enough. In a way, a lot of places of it feel incomplete and rushed, so I tend to worry a lot about how that will go. However, I never thought i’d have a comic like FFAK in the first place, so i feel really lucky to have made it this far at all. Endings do scare me, as there’s just so much pressure involved to deliver and even reach it at all, that it feels almost like an impossible fantasy to pull off in a satisfying manner to yourself or the readers. However, I do think I’ve gotten more excited to reach endings than I used to be even a couple years ago, and I have gotten more forgiving of myself for not being perfect at it. No matter what I manage to make, I’m going to have my own critiques of it because there’s improvements to be made in all aspects of the story. I’m looking forward to seeing what I can actually do so I can learn from it and be more confident in the future. 

FFAK also has such a huge cast, it can be a technical nightmare to figure out. I dont envy authors like GRRM that have a seemingly endless cast to deal with. I already have so much of my hands full with what is essentially one family. And I know for my other comics that I’ve made, the cast has never gotten as out of hand as FFAK’s. But I dont mind having FFAK be like this, because it has been part of my enjoyment of writing the story too. FFAK is generally very motivating because I always have something I’m excited to share about it, and every small progress is a big reward for me. I’ve put a lot of years of work into ARC2 and i am desperate to get to share it with everyone, so I hope readers will enjoy what is to come for the future of the story even though it already is a decade old at this point.

[wallabywhump]

This post gets a little into discourse, so if you want to avoid 9-1-1 fandom discourse I've put this under a read more/keep reading. I guess the TL;DR you can take from this is I'm likely not going to be posting the final chapters of my multichapter fic anytime soon, if at all.

The tags are *also* discoursey/venty, so don't hit the "see all" if you don't like discourse.

After my last post, I kinda went offline for a little while to rest and recoup. (I've lost access to my discord account because I've since got a new laptop.)

I've had my treatment and am, in general, feeling a lot better. But when I got back online after a week or so break and scrolled my dash a bit, I immediately saw shit slinging and aggression from everyone I seem to follow. Or, if it wasn't active participation in discourse, it was vaguing about ignoring discourse.

So, I logged off.

Then, I log back on a week later and I see even more discourse.

This time I blocked the tags of people I seemed to see the most, and moved on with it.

This week, I thought "third times a charm" and opened up tumblr. It is not the charm, in fact it is much much worse.

I'm not going to go into it, and I'm not naming names, but this is not my first fandom rodeo. I've been in a lot of fandoms over the years, and none (literally none) have ever come close to being this fractured and toxic to me (and I'm a fucking DC and SPN fan, Jesus Christ. I legitimately said to a friend of mine "take me back into the DC fandom, it's not safe in 9-1-1.")

I'm not going to "both sides are as bad as each other" but I am going to say I've never followed any actively 'Buddie' accounts, only BuckTommy's and multi-shippers, and all the shit I'm seeing? It's being slung by BuckTommy's. Back over the garden wall, for sure, but sometimes you're scooping out of your own toilet to throw at the people you're roommates with.

That's a messy metaphor.

Either way, some of y'all need the hiatus' you're saying you're taking. Wait for the show to come back, and all the trolls to get preoccupied with the new episodes, touch some grass, do some breathing, prioritize yourself and not people on the internet.

All this to say, I've never felt more demoralized and demotivated to write for other people before. I always have, and will continue to, write for myself. I post it to share for free so other people who might want to read what I do too, can.

Because of all the hate and vitriol, I no longer want to share it with you.

I had had plans to get the chapter beta'd this week and wanted the fic done by the time the new season hit (just in case my interpretation and HC's were severely contradicted) but that's no longer the plan.

I'm logging off, again, for the foreseeable future and taking my own advice. I'll be back when the new season starts.

[innocentimouto]

Do you, too, get baffled when people say that after discovering the truth in the basement, Erwin would be demotivated to fight for survival afterwards?

YES I despise that!

It makes zero sense! The man was fighting a hopeless battle against the titans with no hope at all and then they lost a whole wall and then lost thousands of people and he still continued. Even if you believe he only ever cared about his father's dream, I would think losing a wall would demoralize anyone after going against titans for who knows how long with little results.

It's so weird because when Eren discovered the truth and became depressed, everyone acts like it's weird, or foreshadowing him becoming a genocidal maniac. He was the only normal one sad and upset the whole world wanted them dead and that everyone outside the walls got to enjoy simple pleasures.

Anyway, if EREN found it in himself to move on, if MIKASA found it in herself to move on in season 1 when she thought she lost Eren, I really doubt Erwin would give up fighting.

The problem is that we finally get introduced to Erwin as an actual character when he's at his lowest, guilty and blaming himself despite doing so much for his people. Because we only had the commander until then, not the person, no one considers this is odd behavior for Erwin. Everyone agrees being the commander is so draining but few people recognize the strain could have made him assign blame to himself out of guilt.

That this is his punishment for killing his father.

I think this is the second biggest thing SnK did which I disagree with. The lack of hope. I would have loved if Erwin found out the truth and did get upset about it, maybe even began doubting the future, but found within himself the will to fight for the future of his people in order to repay them for all their sacrifices. THAT is how he could make the hearts they gave matter.

(also I wanted more of the veterans to be friends, so Erwin surviving by the skin of his teeth, and Levi's composure cracking because both Hanji and Erwin almost died on him, and then Levi getting the words that were caught in his throat before, that Erwin did so much for them, etc, and ERWIN in turn telling Levi that he is far better because Levi only cares for humanity, and Levi retorting that all he's good for is violence, and Hanji calling them both idiots and they hug and Erwin doesn't fully believe Levi and vice versa BUT he's inspired to fight Paradis's survival in order to make all the deaths matter)

I wish the story could have showed the lowest point of war, but also humanity's resilience to survive which I don't think they did. It was more dark, hopeless, and then they just move on because they have to. There's never a positive twist to anything, EXCEPT for Erwin's words at the end of season 2.

Levi being upset was understandable and speaks to his humanity, but Erwin getting excited speaks to him being a leader. A leader needs to move past losses and recognize the opportunities. Erwin was too good at it that he began believing he was to blame. I think having friends, and a reason to move forward, like saving Paradis, would help him move forward.

[bandzboy]

I feel very demoralized lately bc idk if the boycott is working :( a bts member recently released a new album and the lead single is literally top of global spotify charts rn and will likely rank on top ten of billboard with his new album so it seems like most people are still streaming and buying hybe projects idk

anon... even if things don't look in our favour we have to realize that boycotts take a lot of time to have some effect! and unfortunately there are many people especially outside of twt and tumblr that have no idea that it is happening! and trust me, i have a lot of times where i am demotivated and it sucks that there are a lot of people that know about it and still continue to stream and buy albums like nothing is happening but... there was something that happened recently with a friend that is on my txt boycotters gc that gave me a lot of hope! we were spreading info about samsung and how they are contributing to the congo genocide and also how they are gonna be the sponsor of the olympics and since we wanted to let people know about it (bc txt did a song for them) we tried our best to mobilize people and spread the word to through tags and etc! we called out people that weren't boycotting (bc that's also part of it) some people were very rude as you can imagine... in fact we got into fights bc we couldn't believe how so many people still don't care about congo or wanna get educated on it (someone straight up told one of my friends they don't care about conogolese people and they would be streaming the song anyways truly amazing people /sarcasm) but anyways! my friend posted about it and all of that and someone hours after said they started to boycott the song and joined the hybe boycott too because what of my friend's words and how it made them change their stance and did surprise us all and i think we all had that moment that we thought like hey... maybe what we are doing really matters and trust me it really does. all of this to say that i get how you are feeling... but i also want you to realize that our movement is changing every single day, a lot of people are joining every single day too and it's all due to the fact we keep talking about it in any way we can and i think it's important to keep doing it because i think that's one of the reasons why the movement grows! and i think sometimes we focus on the negatives a lot and trust me i do it a lot too and i have to deal with out of touch kpop stans every day that are constantly doubling down on their awful morals just to keep streaming and mass buying albums but we have achieved a lot in these past few months! a lot of media outlets are noticing our efforts, articles have been made, a lot of people who are very important prominent people in the palestinian movement have noticed it too and to me those are insane wins! i've been here for months, i try my best to spread the message from twt to tumblr in the best way i can because i want everyone to be informed and a lot of things have changed and i am just hoping the movement will grow and the tides will start finally changing... this is very long but you aren't the first person that has come to my inbox to say things like this and i just wanna encourage you to keep going! it's very hard and very challenging because new shit keeps getting in the way but at the end of the day you have to remind yourself why you are doing this and who you are doing this for. it's very important to keep that in mind so yeah i just wanted to leave with you with these words

[skellagirl]

I am, as usual, late lol, but Y'KNOW. This is gonna be a long, rambly post lol, sorry, I have a lot of thoughts.

2023 was a weird year for me, artwise. When it began I was still deep in my Art Block From Hell, which had begun in mid-2021 and lasted the entirety of 2022.

Being in the thick of such a ridiculously suffocating art block, for TWO AND A HALF YEARS, is like... I can't describe how fucking life-draining it is. It felt like something was fundamentally wrong with me -- like a part of me, which used to be as effortless as breathing or blinking my eyes, had ceased to function altogether. It wasn't just a regular art block, it was a complete identity crisis. I could no longer trust the instincts I'd honed over twenty-plus years, could no longer trust my sense of observation or my ability to recreate what I saw. I felt BROKEN, and every single time I picked up my tablet pen it was like I was scraping my insides with a spoon, trying to pick up whatever tiny dregs of dried-up, crusty shit I could manage to puke up onto my canvas. It was fucking painful and humiliating and completely demoralizing.

I'm not really sure what finally got me to do so, but sometime in summer (my memory is shit lol) I downloaded Game Maker, found a video tutorial on youtube, and just... gave myself over to it. I made myself learn how to use Aseprite, and working with pixels, making teeny-tiny little sprites, forced me to work in ways I usually don't. It was a lot harder for me to find the flaws in my art when my art was thirty-five pixels tall and the anatomy was stylized to communicate clear information rather than be a recreation or approximation of reality. I think I really do credit that time working on game dev as the thing that finally cracked loose all the gunk that was keeping me stuck -- I could not perpetuate the cycle of toxicity I'd fallen into because I could barely even conceptualize what 'good' or 'bad' pixel art even looked like lol. I just knew that I was making art, and for the first time in two years, it didn't feel like I was having to desperately beg the emaciated husks of my sense of self-worth and confidence to cooperate while doing so.

(I actually sort of abandoned my foray into game dev around August/September lol, as my adhd-brain, flitting around like a little hummingbird to every dopamine-rich-flower, is wont to do 🥲 But I wanna get back into it at some point!)

From there I had a rush of inspiration for an original project I've been mulling around in my head for years, and I wrote thousands of words in my worldbuilding document, made a map, developed the shell of a possible actual STORY. I returned to sketching. Conventional sketching. It was, at first, largely still comprised of that same demotivating struggle against myself, but I was so deep in the throes of inspiration (after several years of this project laying dormant in my google drive) that I NEEDED to sketch. So I kept going. And after a while, it got....... easier. And I started hating everything I made a little less. I painted, properly, for the first time in years. I stayed up late into the night, even if it meant I would be tired at work the next day, because drawing felt so damn GOOD again and I had missed that feeling so much. All I wanted to do was draw. For the first time in two and a half years, I could finally see the light at the end of the fucking tunnel.

I still don't think I'm quite out of the woods yet. My style is changing, as all artists' styles do over time, and that comes with stumbling adjustments. My confidence is still small and shaky and recovering; I still catch myself second-guessing what I've drawn, and even looking at some of the things here on my grid makes me cringe a little bit for one reason or another.

But compared to both 2021 and 2022, the volume of art, and in particular the volume of art I don't actively despise, is WAY higher, and I'm really really hopeful that that means I'm finding my footing again.

So! Here's to 2024, and to continuing to move towards the light at the end of the tunnel 🙏🌟 I'm gonna try.

[vindavlad]

I wanna make a text based adventure but the more I try to make it, the more demoralized and demotivated I get because I am really dumb. It's difficult to make cool things when you're dumb. 😭

[bylertruther]

can i be honest aka annoying for a minute. idc how long it takes for s5 to come out bc i've already loved will byers for almost seven years now and i'll happily love him for a million more but.. the only thing tht gives me pause about the release potentially being pushed back even more is the fact that fandom will continue to stray more and more from canon and personally i feel like ......... idk...... we're just under a year since s4 came out and already the mike and will that so many people talk about doesn't sound anything like the mike and will in the actual show.

so i don't even want to imagine what it'll be like next year and it doesn't really matter but also it kind of does bc i Do enjoy this show and all of its characters and themes but this is a phenomenon tht will continue to push other canon conservatives^tm out of the fandom and thts jus. well. it stinks. it Stinks with a capital S to love something and not be able to share that love or engage with it as much as you'd like bc you get told You're Wrong when all you're doing is citing actual text or the words of the creators of said text themselves, and whatever content you or others create tht aligns more closely with that vision doesn't get the attention it deserves or gets disparaged by many which understandably demoralizes and demotivates ppl from creating tht content. it just......... stinks. :(

[hexastitchimera]

I think I understand now why I'm honest to Stars nervous every time I interact with online communities like the animation meme one, the furry one, etc.

It's for the exact reason why I'm terrified of talking to former classmates who entered nursing school.

A huge majority of the vocal minority never left behind their grade school bully mentality. I'm not kidding, throwing insults, or even calling anyone childish. This is as big of a problem as it is in nursing, and it takes lives in the exact same way. I'll explain.

Having had family who were in the medical field, I have heard utter horror stories about one side of nursing. Not even in a medical malpractice sense. But how some of them can have the sweetest, "empath" mask on when they are around you, but will smear your name behind your back at the very least, try to get you disciplined/fired (especially if you're a "rival" nurse/student) at unfortunately common worst.

Now, because I am a firm believer in nuance, I have to state that for as many malpracticing nurses there are, there are just as many nurses who put their patients before their ego always. I myself have had several nurse family members who didn't have even the slightest infraction to their records, and retired late despite how their patients AND fellow MPs yearned for them to stay.

But, it has to be said: It only takes one to kill. One word, one intentional slip-up, one accidental pill too many. The side of the accuser only need speak, while the side of the victim has to frantically fight for their right to the role- to the life- they worked so hard for.

Why? Well, because it's easier to destroy the perceived enemy than it is to build your own self up. Destroying the competition has been a tale as old as time, and it can ALWAYS be for the pettiest of reasons.

If you want more of your supervisor's attention for better odds at better pay, intimidate and belittle nurses of your standing or lower so they're demotivated, demoralized, and struggling in comparison.

Hell, if you just don't like another nurse, watch their every move, and rat on the few, harmless, honest mistakes they made!

Who cares how many patients die, either because of a growing lack of nurses, or because of straight up nurse-on-nurse sabotage!

Do you see where I'm going with this?

Do you see how people can put the grandstanding of their own ego above entire LIVES?

The near-homeless artist whose callout you are mindlessly reblogging, what of their life?

The kinky trans woman?

The genderqueer person with neopronouns and "conflicting" labels?

The literal teenager who doesn't- and CANNOT- know better because of their horrifically bigoted family? Not without external guidance, of which they can only have through the online, and are immediately shunned from?

You all want an easy answer.

There are none here.

There never will be.

The only answer is to practice media literacy, to wait until both sides have come out with their sides of the story, and to understand a very rarely spoken of Golden Rule:

If it isn't hurting anyone nor contributing to harm period, mind your own business.

Otherwise, if still hard pressed:

What do YOU get out of ending the life of someone as they know it?

If it's the same sense of satisfaction a cop would get, I don't know what to tell you.

All I know is that you cannot, AND SHOULD NOT, be doing their "job" for them.

And if you do, wipe that ACAB off of your bio.

We do not use the weapons of the oppressor on our own. ESPECIALLY on our youth.