#desire is a fickle thing y'know?

[squeiky]

The audacity of existence.

How dare you be concieved. To be blessed with the touch of angels, you golden haired goddess. How dare you force your reflection upon mine. The audacity to mirror me.

YOU.

I hate you. You are my purgatory, and hell resides within your dastardly light. You are the anthesis to my existance, my purpose, my life. Tormet me by image alone.

Do you know how much you have pained me? How much the mere sight of you, has distorted me? Ruined me? Hurt me? Questions your existance has plauged in my mind?

Look at you, my loathsome copy. You are nothing like me.

So then why?

Why does the universe kiss you gently upon a flushed cheek then heckle and spit on mine? Why are you the beloved golden duckling whilst i remain the unwanted black swan?

Why is it me who must rid myself of my body, blood, and mind. Discarding me of myself to end you? I have done nothing short of effort. I have given myself all to destroying you, to riding the world of you. Yet they love you. They do not love me.

We resemble eachother more than anyone else ever will. It is cruel a fate, to be devoted entirely to destroying a twisted reflection of myself. Burdened by both our images, drowning me in hatred made for both us. Yet you remain free, whilsy i remain prisioner.

It feels, as i seek to destroy you, i destroy myself. So i do. Over and over again. Yet you remain unscathed, bright and beautiful. Whilst i remain broken, left to rot in the mud. Helpless. Afraid. Alone.

Thinking.

What must i do? Who must i be to be kissed by the same light that dared to birth you?

Must i purge myself of all things to simply taste a fraction of it? How will i outshine you? Must I transform my body till there is nothing of me left, just to feel your light crushed beneath mine? Must i erase myself completly? Must i become you? Must i be you?  Must i place my hands against your neck? My lifeless material crushing your ugly flesh to finally hear the last of your breath. Must i feel everyones glare peirce through my unending spine, wishing nothing but breaking every metal bone instead of me?

Must i take their love and desire and rip it from their broken hearts, forcing them to kneel before me and drag your dead light upon me? Must i become king of all things, living, dead and unalive, before i get a fraction, a mere TASTE of your life?

Is that what the world desires of me?

Is THAT what it takes?

my loathsome copy. Your existance is what destroys me. You are everything without me but i am nothing without you.  Yet i am made to end you. To destroy the only thing, the only purpose i have in life.

You all look down upon me. Even my creator, cant seem to look at me without seeing you. Forever i am compared to you. Forever i think of only you. Forever i am destroyed by you. Forever i am devoted to destroying you. Forever i am afriad. Forever i am chained, cursed to this wretched body, reflecting you.

YOU.

I hate you. I loathe you.

....

What a cruel existance to be born, you and I.

I hope when i choke you death, you'll burn me alive.

[fourswords]

y'know just the fact that hylia had to ask link whether he was going to take revenge on the kingdom that held him in contempt or save it from doom was enough of an eye-opening moment as it was (even though hylia already knew what his answer was going to be):

but genuinely if he hadn't already died and could've heard what hylia said about his imprisonment and suffering being "willed by the heavens" because it was "necessary to transform him into the one fit to wield the master sword" i think he might've just been like Actually. Fuck you guys. Revenge it is. because while link DOES stand with his comrades again after his imprisonment and DOES call them his friends even after their betrayal and DOES pray for their happiness above the clouds with all his heart and DID want to take to the sky with them.....the emphasis on the land itself being what link fights for more than the people is absolutely woven into the story here. when he stands above the crowd of people and promises to always defend the land of hylia, he looks out at the mountains, not down at the crowd, and even says:

"Though people's hearts may change with time, this land's beauty, pride and purity never change. If you have need of me... ...then I will forever fight to defend you."

and the amount of times the destruction of the land is emphasized....

"Wicked desire assaulted the world's surface, staining it the color of obsidian... ...and the mountains, the plains, and all that flowed pure on the earth were ruthlessly scoured by fire."

and when the demon king strikes link down and goes on to continue his rampage before hylia eventually seals him away, link doesn't think even once of the people until the red loftwing appears and link asks him if he would show their people to the skies. instead, he thinks this:

"My hometown... The beautiful air... The mountains... The rivers... ...reduced to this. Will this be the last thing I ever see?"

like. he stands with the people even after all they've done to him. he acts as their figurehead. their pawn that they cast aside to torture and rot and only dragged back out because lord dagianis died and they finally decided that a hero was needed again. he fights with them. he calls them his friends despite everything. he hopes for their happiness. but first and foremost, it's the land itself that he fights for, not the people living on it. not really. when he says "people's hearts may change with time" he kind of even acknowledges that—it's a verbal slight against them and all of their fickleness concerning him and his imprisonment and his freedom the instant they were in danger again (same as when he said "It was you—my own people—who said you had no need for a powerful hero. And now that it's convenient for you, you want me to fight?"). and maybe nothing would've changed if he'd heard his suffering was ordained by the gods. maybe his love of the land still would have won over his hatred of the people and the gods doing what they did to him and he still would have fought just the same. but i honestly would not have blamed this dude one bit if he'd just decided to be like "Fuck This. Fuck All Of You." and dipped. he's suffering more than jesus out here

[dalesramblingsblog]

Not gonna lie, maybe this is supremely petty of me (it is), but as someone who is the very embodiment of a casual gamer and can name vastly more video games than he has ever actually played, the backlash to the Minecraft movie trailer is perversely satisfying to me, because... yeah no shit, of course this was what Hollywood was always going to turn out.

Like did you really think that a video game movie languished in development hell for a decade because they were just sitting on an absolute gold mine of an idea, and not that they had consistently and singularly failed to get any idea off the ground? Then again, the Mario movie was supposedly going to be the absolute worst thing in history because Chris Pratt, only to have the discourse completely shift to how wrong the evil/woke critics were to think the Italian plumber kids' movie wasn't the single defining moment of twenty-first century cinema.

So y'know, capital G gamers are both fickle and whiny. Shocking information. See you all in a few months when a clip referencing the Yogscast or some shit goes viral and everyone decides that you're not allowed to bad-mouth it without being shot in the back of the head and dumped on the I-405.

sidebar to get ahead of this before some smart-arse points it out: "oh you're just mad 'cause they called out critics"

uh yeah actually i do kinda take issue with hordes of people spouting borderline anti-intellectual rhetoric about how the thing i do for a pseudo-living is empty and meaningless. it's just like the widespread "haha what if the author just wanted to make le curtains le blue" snickering. like yeah am i expecting everyone to deep dive into the relationship between auteurism and profit under the capitalist studio system in order to analyse a random book trilogy? no of course not, i fully understand that i'm just very mentally ill and probably have an outsized grasp of my own writing abilities.

but looking down your nose at people who choose to think about media in that way is indicative of nothing more than your own staggering lack of curiosity, and it's a pretty good answer for how you get to a declaration that the people of the uk have had enough of experts, or a world in which there's a real possibility that americans are somehow going to look at the events of 2017 to 2021 and say "more of that please" come november.

so no, don't expect me to coddle your desire to retreat from the world back into your fond childhood memories just for the sake of it. that's not a critic's job.

[just-let-her-cry]

If the shoe fits, fucking wear it.

WARNING: THIS POST CONTAINS STRONG LANGUAGE & SOME SLANG INSULTS. DON'T READ IF YOU ARE OF DELICATE SENSIBILITIES. ______ ALSO: This isn't aimed at any one person in particular. It's a buildup of shit that I've dealt with from a number of individuals for some time. It was time that it started to come out. But you know what they say... If the shoe fits, fucking wear it. _______ Y'know what... FUCK every single person that EVER said they'd ALWAYS be here for me - that SWORE it - and then WEREN'T there when I NEEDED them. Especially when I needed them most. Fuck. Every. Single. One. Of. Them. DO NOT EVER promise/swear/pledge/give your word or whatever on ANYTHING if you don't actually plan on doing what you said you would do. Don't let me think that you care enough to be there and then fucking let me down and leave me alone in the dark. Don't act like you didn't fuck up. Don't act like it's not a problem that you broke your word that I took seriously - because it's a serious thing to me - and let me down. Don't downplay any of it and act like it's nothing at all. And don't get pissed when I call you out on it. You're only getting pissed because you know I'm fucking right and the only kind of right you were was when you were a right fucking twat. And don't you dare say I'm trying to guilt you for anything. Because I'm not. I'm just speaking the truth. And the fact that you have to even mention guilt means that you feel it on some level. And that falls solely on you. It's your shit to deal with. And you should feel guilty for being such a fucking cold-hearted jerkoff. It's not my fault you were such a swashing knob and couldn't/wouldn't do what you said you would; that you broke a serious promise. It's not my fault that I thought you actually meant it when you told me you'd always be there for me, then you're entirely absent or "busy" 98% of the time. It's not my fault that I took you at your word, that I trusted you that much, and thought you would be my rock whenever I needed it - no matter how large or small the problem. It's not my fault that I'm totally fucked up and need someone I trust to be there to help me through whatever I'm dealing with - whether it's by talking or being in the same physical space or by physical contact. It's not my fault that I need some form of comfort and reassurance on a regular basis, because I always have a lot going on in my head and I'm constantly insecure and can't always escape my mind on my own. It's not my fault that the frequency and severity is the way it is as it is. Sorry that it's so fucking inconvenient to you and not on your terms. It's entirely out of my control. All of this kind of shit is the reason why I don't let people in, or close. It's why I keep everything to myself. It's why I push people away and maintain distance. It's why I have trust issues. It's one of so many reasons why I hate the human race, because it is unreal how fickle and cold and callous - among many other things - human beings can be. I learn these lessons the hard way. Then, like a real Gods forsaken idiot, I forget them and have to relearn it all over again. The lessons don't always stick. But one would think that after so many times and after so much hurt and bullshit you'd retain the lesson and not make the same mistakes again. But, no. I'm that special case. The one rat that keeps hitting the button that shocks the fuck out of you, even after countless times of it happening before. I just don't learn. And that's fucked up on another level. I will be the very first to say that things are never easy or simple with me, no matter the relationship. Family, friend, partner, etc. It doesn't matter what we are to one another. I am not a level one. I'm like fucking Sector 7. And I come with a laundry list of malfunctions and peculiarities and various needs. I am in need of constant, though always short-lived, repair. I am the reject toy that nobody wants or has the time to tinker with. I require time, patience, understanding, adequate attention and care, and the desire to continue on despite how hard things will inevitably be, whether it's for a short period of time or a lengthy one. I am broken. I'm missing parts and pieces. I am faulty. I don't always function properly or well enough; sometimes not even at all. Some parts of me just can't be repaired or replaced and will need to be handled with a little extra care than the rest of me. I am a real mess of epic proportions and don't always make a lick of sense. But it is what it is. I am who I am. That's the long and short of it. So if you don't have good intentions, leave me alone. If you don't have the time or nerve it takes, turn and walk away. If you think it's all a game and a joke, stay away from me. If you don't understand the importance of giving me your word, me holding you to it, and you don't intend to take it seriously... Go get fucking bent in another galaxy far, far away. I'm so tired of trusting people only to be shown yet again why I shouldn't. Trust is such a fragile thing and people seem so eager to piss on it nowadays. It means absolutely fuckall. Don't ever make a promise that you don't intend to keep. Don't give me hollow words. Don't swear falsely. I've had enough of that to last me a lifetime and it's not a damn lifetime supply I want. And people wonder why I'm so full of piss and vinegar. Gods above and below...