#desmond as rosa in fiore’s bouncer

[teecupangel]

what if Desmond becomes some sort of bodyguard for Claudia and her girls? Like, they work in a 'whore house' so it'd be pretty obvious that some men would act aggressively against them, so Desmond would take out his inner bouncer (I head cannon that he worked as a part time bartender part time bouncer at his old bar) and haul the men outside and threaten them and stuff, sometimes going to beat them up. And Claudia would keep him around because 1) he's a great investment and 2) he looks so much like Ezio she becomes suspicious that they may be father and son. Which leads to Ezio having a little freak out when Claudia finally manages to get the two to interact. And Ezio is silently panicking because 'fuck, he looks like me. I think he's my son' and Desmond would be freaking out because it's *Ezio*. Who keeps staring like Desmond had grown two heads. And Claudia is just looking at the two idiots off to the side wondering if she should worry about one of them trying to jump out the window.

Desmond has a better chance of jumping out of the window in this scenario since Ezio would be too busy processing the possibility that he has a son that he didn’t even know about.

Considering this would be set during Brotherhood, Ezio would be in his forties and Desmond would look like he’s in his twenties in Ezio’s eyes so he would probably think that he’s a child of one of his nightly activities in Firenze during his youth.

Also, Desmond is pretty enough that some customers would check him out and ask if he’s available. Which will be funny because, according to AC Wiki:

the Rosa in Fiore played host to many patrons visiting it each day, including important Roman cardinals, senators and Papal Guards, proving as a invaluable information asset to the Assassin Order

This meant that some of the people interested in Desmond are actually members of the Vatican, lollol.

And, because Rosa in Fiore has a ‘colorful’ clientele, it would probably make more sense if Desmond’s job as a bouncer is less about keeping rowdy clients out and more about making sure their clients are safe while they’re in the brothel.

And Claudia gave Desmond the job to see how he does. Desmond doesn’t realize that Claudia is checking his strength and skill. She does think he looks too much like Ezio to be a coincidence and his penchant for not wanting to talk about his parents or making up ludicrous lies that change each time another person asks him only makes Claudia believe that Desmond was adopted by ‘bad people’ and he has no idea who his real father is.

He’s pretty much just annoyed with all these pathetic assassination attempts and… maybe, just maybe, he hints at a better time for these sellswords to try their luck for the clients that no one in Rosa in Fiore would miss.

Desmond does sometimes get to rough up some of the clients but only the ones getting too handsy and the girls make sure to only call Desmond once the troublemakers are in very compromising positions so they would be too afraid to retaliate when Desmond does give them the ‘talk’.

Even if they talked about Desmond threatening them, other clients would just scoff at that because most of them know Desmond as the gardener. XD