#“i just took out the trash”

[teecupangel]

what if Desmond becomes some sort of bodyguard for Claudia and her girls? Like, they work in a 'whore house' so it'd be pretty obvious that some men would act aggressively against them, so Desmond would take out his inner bouncer (I head cannon that he worked as a part time bartender part time bouncer at his old bar) and haul the men outside and threaten them and stuff, sometimes going to beat them up. And Claudia would keep him around because 1) he's a great investment and 2) he looks so much like Ezio she becomes suspicious that they may be father and son. Which leads to Ezio having a little freak out when Claudia finally manages to get the two to interact. And Ezio is silently panicking because 'fuck, he looks like me. I think he's my son' and Desmond would be freaking out because it's *Ezio*. Who keeps staring like Desmond had grown two heads. And Claudia is just looking at the two idiots off to the side wondering if she should worry about one of them trying to jump out the window.

Desmond has a better chance of jumping out of the window in this scenario since Ezio would be too busy processing the possibility that he has a son that he didn’t even know about.

Considering this would be set during Brotherhood, Ezio would be in his forties and Desmond would look like he’s in his twenties in Ezio’s eyes so he would probably think that he’s a child of one of his nightly activities in Firenze during his youth.

Also, Desmond is pretty enough that some customers would check him out and ask if he’s available. Which will be funny because, according to AC Wiki:

the Rosa in Fiore played host to many patrons visiting it each day, including important Roman cardinals, senators and Papal Guards, proving as a invaluable information asset to the Assassin Order

This meant that some of the people interested in Desmond are actually members of the Vatican, lollol.

And, because Rosa in Fiore has a ‘colorful’ clientele, it would probably make more sense if Desmond’s job as a bouncer is less about keeping rowdy clients out and more about making sure their clients are safe while they’re in the brothel.

And Claudia gave Desmond the job to see how he does. Desmond doesn’t realize that Claudia is checking his strength and skill. She does think he looks too much like Ezio to be a coincidence and his penchant for not wanting to talk about his parents or making up ludicrous lies that change each time another person asks him only makes Claudia believe that Desmond was adopted by ‘bad people’ and he has no idea who his real father is.

He’s pretty much just annoyed with all these pathetic assassination attempts and… maybe, just maybe, he hints at a better time for these sellswords to try their luck for the clients that no one in Rosa in Fiore would miss.

Desmond does sometimes get to rough up some of the clients but only the ones getting too handsy and the girls make sure to only call Desmond once the troublemakers are in very compromising positions so they would be too afraid to retaliate when Desmond does give them the ‘talk’.

Even if they talked about Desmond threatening them, other clients would just scoff at that because most of them know Desmond as the gardener. XD

[pictureday2005]

DONT REPOST THIS thanks

[serials1nner]

choose your side

[kitocrystal]

[gramarye]

cleaning my 2-3 years of accumulated adhd mess is literally just grinding my teeth cleaning and repeating "THE ONLY WAY OUT IS THROUGH THE ONLY WAY OUT IS THROUGH THE ONLY WAY OUT IS THROUGH" while blasting music and watching hoarder cleaning videos in the bg

[graveyard-society]

so this is basically what happened in that one episode of the anime right

[redbootsindoriath]

I remembered today that if I want to continue my accidental Bilbo and the troll tradition I need to get cracking on a new drawing before I wake up in 2024 having missed my chance.

2023 Bert stole 2020 Bert’s hair and put it all over his face.  That’s why 2020 Bert was bald.  I just didn’t know that at the time.

[kira-s-cat]

Cale: Hyung i- ...You look awful! i mean, less healthy than usual

Alberu, not looking up from the papers: and i bet you have no clue about how you look much worse, dongsaeng

Cale: pardon? you need sleep. But nevertheless-

Alberu, finally looking up: you need to faint just to rest your ass off and wake up only to suffer both of us.

[landfilloftrash]

Sometimes you just gotta accept that ur husband’s current form just melted your friends. You just gotta roll with it man.

[ninja-knox-ur-sox-off]

I love Monkie kid and the way they tell stories but oh my GODS this unreliable narrator stuff starting to stress me out

(Note: i've only seen up to ses 4 ep 8 no spoilers in the tags please)

[xxxairheadedangelxxx]

studio perriot fucked sakura over look at her at the manga compared to the anime

oh trust and BELIEVE i am painfully aware of how desperately Peirrot fucked Sakura over. She was already set up for failure by Kishimoto starting out strong and then constantly fucking w/ her and just leaving her out fucking CONSTANTLY bc he wrote himself into a hole by trying too hard to make her insufferable and succeeding and then peirrot just picked it up and went

"ah but what if we made it WORSE"

Naruto as a series suffers from such severe misogyny it is exhausting to deal with in the media itself and then those naruto fans just make it fucking worse. I can't tell you how many itmes Ive had to hear "oh yea I hate sakura she's the worst". I had someone tell me to my face in sakura cosplay "oh I hate her character" and that was the only interaction I had with them it was WILD

[vveirdnobdy]

I come to inform you all, that the outline for Og!Cale getting Super Rock is finally finished. And the preparations for a sequel are already being made. Ndndnd

Anyway 16k words later, and now I have to add even more and edit it. But soon it shall be done.

In celebration enjoy one little leak from the ending of it!

[macaroni-rascal]

there is a bunch of stuff I need to do around my apartment, and I have -100 energy to do it, so instead, I'm going to do my tried and true 'getting-thing-done-with-my-brain-and-body-want-to-be-a-worm-underground-in-the-cold-dark-earth' and that's is that I am going to watching netflix and scroll tumblr and dick around on my phone, but every time I get up for food/water/bathroom/pet the cat, etc. I do ONE thing. even if that thing is very small. I just do ONE thing. it was an amazing method of productivity during the height of my depression, and its worked for me nearly every time.

[theygender]

The management at my old apartment stole my fucking bike

[unbearable-lightness-of-ink]

y'all i caved to peer pressure and made one of those lists of books. I got to be the first person to add some books by tumblr mutuals to this list website, apparently, so that's pretty cool. anyway pls tell me if you have read more of my books than I have bc I honestly need motivation to get through my tbr piles of shame.

[theguardianace]

torn between going to the team pregame party so i can have a slightly negative but mostly neutral last impression of the night or (not really actually) lying about getting a headache and just going to bed so i dont have to see anyone else tonight