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#diamonds dames & dads
kitkat-the-muffin · 1 year
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In Homestuck, Caliborn claims that Derse’s prison system is so brutal that he was only able to survive due to his own masochism
This is why he tells Jane that her father is dead because he was captured by Dersites
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We know Dad Egbert got away by burning Slick’s hat which gained him his favor, but Dad Crocker didn’t do that
The only reason Dad Crocker survived the Derse prison system
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Is because Droog had a big crush on him
Which is hilarious
Edit: This post unexpectedly blew up so I’m back to tell everyone that the ship name is “daddroog” and I wanna see as much fanart for this as possible
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phonification · 27 days
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this is a self callout
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phonemixer · 6 months
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I was gonna say something related to DD and Crocker but for some reason Tumblr really wants me to autofill my phone number.
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i did draw some daddroog but then i got distracted and drew clover too for some reason
ALSO i did this with a mouse on paint so dont judge me too much
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wiriu · 28 days
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i need to post on tumblr more ummm
CARAPACIANS!!!!!!!!! YAY!!!! I might post more about my little earth c carapacian felt story i have planned, centered around a remake of diamonds dames and dads i have brewing in my head! involves alot of shenanigans and probably mayonaka if i can figure out something to do with him...
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groggygrimalkin · 26 days
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Snowman being alive in Diamonds Dames and Dads is so funny to me
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Og
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nekropsii · 6 months
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all these midnight crew posts are so fun to read! on that note; Who's your favourite Felt and Midnight Crew member, and if you have the energy, why?
The Midnight Crew/Felt Intermission is the best part of the webcomic, bar none, and I'm saying this completely genuinely and knowing in my heart that this is objective fact. Later Homestuck arcs that rely heavily on teenage angst and romance are written like Hussie is being held at gunpoint. It's just not their wheelhouse, and that's totally fine, but I really wish people would stop acting like those are the best or most important parts of the comic, and step back from their shipping craze for a moment to appreciate Fucked Up Grown Ass Man Shenanigans, which is Hussie's bread and butter.
My favorite Midnight Crew member is Diamonds Droog. I just love the classy, cool, level-headed yet crass noir hypermasculinity paired with the insane methodical violence. As a gay man, he does things to me. You can only imagine the things that Diamonds, Dames, and Dads did to my brain.
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Fuck my whole life.
My favorite Felt Members, though, are Die, Crowbar, Cans, and Clover. Die is my objective favorite, I love that weird, lanky little freak. He kind of reminds me of a twitchier, more neurotic Pickle Inspector that just spent a straight hour huffing paint or something. Cans is always a delight when he shows up, and has the funniest ability, in my opinion. Clover is the most sexual motherfucker in the ocean. And Crowbar is hot, I like him for gay reasons. He's swanky.
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katrinasis · 1 month
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diamonds dames and dads is so bad its really funny. its like they tried to pander to intermission fans without ever actually having spoken to one or having read the intermission before or having thought about any of those characters in ten years
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you-hate-time-travel · 6 months
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Hi. What’s your opinion on Diamonds, Dames, and Dads? I personally really like it (that whole thing really was just pure fanservice for gay men, lmao) but found the ending to be lackluster.
Curious about your thoughts, though :)
HELLO HELLO HELLO! rubs claws together evilly. now THIS is a good ask.
First of all, i fucking love DD&D. Insanely good. Most of the art was just, mwah, tears of joy. Story was mostly enjoyable. Overall, i think it was genuinely REALLY REALLY GOOD, with some kinda silly flaws. A numbered list of some of my notesfollows:
Wonderful characterization. The opening narration really gets how silly DD is. Mr. Crocker is just darling too, godbless.
Timeline problems. Wow, timeline silliness? Really? Who'd'a thunk'd it. Coughs anyways. I just, Don't Get It? Like, how does Droog exist. Was mr. Crocker sent back in time to when the troll universe existed? How will he get back? How is Slick there, even though Droog is all alone like a sad wet alley cat? How the in the everloving shit is Snowman alive??? Goddamnit. Never become an intermission fan, unless you want endless headaches trying to figure out silly shit about time travel. They, like, lampshade all of it but just. ??????? Also, they completely ignore derse?? Droog mentions the first time he met Slick and just... Are they not carapacians in this? See, this is what i mean. Endless headaches.
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Ouch.
(oops, the numbers restart here.)
Dialogue. Holy shit it's so good!!! I'm just. Speechless at how funny and good and insanely gay it is. Like, Really Really Really gay. Just. Wow. Adult man yaoi. Droog and mr. Crocker have some magnificent chemistry going on. This is no baking soda volcano we're handling here, kids.
The ending. Just. Sigh. It's so abrupt! Just. I've got no commentary. That's It.
You know what else has an abrupt ending? This list. Turns out there's not that much to talk about in a 46-page comic. In any case, thanks so much for the ask! I really enjoyed rereading the comic and answering. Shaking your hand etc.
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^ the
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matzahstein · 9 months
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didn't you have to pay for the bonus updates
unfortunately back then yeah. i regret ever giving the writing team money but thankfully most of the bonus comics are on imgur now!! "diamonds, dames and dads" and "catnapped" are goddamn masterpieces among others
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homestuck-book-club · 10 months
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Week^2 bonus! (the end of our post-canon reading!!) We will be reading the bonus comics at https://homestuck2.com/bonus Day 1- The Influencers  + A threat, sensed Day 2- Diamonds, dames and Dads Day 3- A treatise on representational democracy + Catnapped
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phonification · 5 months
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fuck my yaoi life
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umbralundertaker · 2 years
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@hylo-bates I THOUGHT NO ONE WOULD EVER ASK. EVIL VILLAIN FIX IT FIC TIME
From what I know, Jack isn't mentioned in the epilouges or hs2, other than in diamonds dames and dads. I heard ONCE from a RANDOM SOURCE that Jane was keeping him in prison or something, but idk how true that is. For my purposes I'll assume he isn't lol
So, ideally, Slick survives the final battle. He never gets decapitated (he ducks at the last second or something), and when Dave and Terezi Time's out of there he dives after them and hitches a ride. They have a scuffle in... wherever they ended up, but Slick escapes.
Union Jack still dies :( there isn't really anything to do with him, sadly. He stopped being Jack the moment he got possesed.
Jack Noir's whole deal goes the same as normal... I think? Where does he even go with The Felt and Ms. Paint? I'm gonna say he went to Earth C and wanted to Take It Over, but got stopped pretty early on. Because, in all honesty... he's getting tired.
Running in fear in an empty void for three years would do that to anyone. He's really worn down, and his endless well of rage that fuels his bloodlust is slowly beginning to run dry. He's pretty much gone insane from the power at this point, and no longer fit to be a leader.
Also because even though Jack is good at planning, he has no subtlety haha. Either way. He gets imprisoned, but the rest of The Felt and Ms. Paint escapes and scatters.
Meanwhile, when Slick arrives on Earth C, he immediately goes into hiding. He knows about PM, and even though she doesn't have the ring anymore, he doesn't want to take his chances.
Over the first few months he travels around regathering The Felt, who really dislike having their leader change so damn much, but they like Slick more than Jack, so they go along with him. Slick devises a plan to kill PM, but at this point he finds Ms. Paint! They get together and she calms him down a little, enough to make him not want to kill PM. They stay on the down-low though, and together they start creeping The Felt's influence in [Generic Big City].
And then later The Felt have a whole thing where they try and overthrow Slick but we're getting away from the point here.
Jack Noir hangs around in jail for a little while. After a few comically bloody escape attempts, a decision is made: he will be put to death.
I saw a really cool fanart of Terezi putting him on trial and hanging him, which is AWESOME!! It's what they both deserve, especially Terezi, she really deserves to hang a criminal irl, she's earned it. You'd think PM should get to kill Jack, but I honestly think she doesn't want anything to do with him. She doesn't care who gets rid of him, she just wants him gone.
Anyways I'm sure you didn't know the scope of my passion for Jack Noir when you asked this but thank you. I've wanted to talk about this for a while. Spades Slick is living his best life in my heart 💖✨️
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notre enchantement
IT’S HEREEEEEE
WOOOOOOOOOOOO
I’ve had this half written since February and have been trying to finish off this chapter. Enjoy <3
Thank you to @izanae & @nightlychaotic for being my life savers and helping me with a scene that haunted me for days
STORY MASTERLIST
Ao3
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Chapter four: Raining diamonds
Marinette wandered around the marketplace, a woven basket in the crook of her arm. She had almost gotten all of her groceries and now was looking at the spools of fabric. This stall sold many different ‘exotic’ items.
The people of Gotham were trapped in this mountain range but a few of them managed to find a way out; they’d always come back though. The mountain range was treacherous. At some points, it was a jagged cliff side streaking up into the sky. Gotham children always marvelled at her circus in wonder. They travelled in and out of Gotham frequently. Along with being circus performers, they brought merchants to sell their wares and even sold some things of their own. They became travelling merchants of sorts.
The circus gave them the opportunity to leave the prison, why wouldn’t they come back to the cage they were born in eventually? For anyone out of the know, you would almost say it’s magical.
The big tent is gone, along with the animals’ white tent. The majority of the performers had left only a few days after the shows, moving on to the next city to enter them with their wonderful fantasies. Only Marinette and a few others stayed in town, returning to their old homes.
She smiled fondly as she remembered her parents' reaction to her coming home. Her mum screamed and dropped her bowl of dough and when her dad came to check on them she was pulled into the biggest bear hug in history.
Then they launched into all the things she missed; how the business was going, how Nona Gina was when she came to visit (she was another Gotham Escapist) and they told her about Dick. Whenever he completed his stack of chores, which was growing higher each day, he would come by and exclusively ask them if they needed any help or any work done.
Her heart grew warm and her eyes misted. He did everything from building them a new oven to kneading dough. They tried to offer him compensation (something that didn’t happen with his other ‘chores’ because community), but he’d refuse by saying “Your time is my payment.”
It just made her love him even more.
An arm slithered around her waist, she looked up to see Dick’s best friend Wally. She raised an eyebrow at him. He smiled down at her, eyes crinkling. “Hi, Mari!” He chirped while taking the basket from her.
“Hi, Wally?” She replied, confusion evident in her tone. “Qu'est-ce qu'il y a? (What’s the matter?)”
His smile widened and became flirtatious. “Can’t I just spend time with a beautiful dame?”
“This ‘dame’ is taken. So retract your arm or extract yourself from the nearest building.”
“I’d love to see what you can do with that aggression.” He leaned closer to her ear, and her body tensed. With a whisper, he said, “I’d let you order me around any day.”
“Then heed this order, let go!” She didn’t have anything to worry about with Wally, he was Dick’s friend after all. He had done this before to get on Dick’s nerves, his flirts were shallow, if not puddle deep in depth. She huffed at him when her escape attempt failed again, she couldn’t do much with her injured hand. What with all these strong guys wanting to keep her in their arms?
“Wally!” Dick ran up to them, glaring at the ginger. He shushed him away and gently pulled Marinette into his arms. He gave her a thorough once over and found no visible injuries, although he noted that the hand he squeezed yesterday was covered by a glove. He knew in the back of his mind that Wally would never hurt her, he just wanted her in his arms and reassurance.
Marinette pouted and huffed again, her arms crossed as she sulked. From one grip to another. She just wanted to look at pretty fabric.
“Heeeey birdy!” Wally leant against the wall behind him, smiling at the couple in front of her. “I saw your bug all alone. Thought someone else might swoop in and take her away.” Dick’s glare narrowed before shifting to the basket Wally was holding. “Oh, this is your bug’s. I’m just helping her hold it.”
“Just hand it here Wally, I don’t want to be stuck in another glare-off.” She held out her hand, looking at him with pleading eyes.
“I can’t leave, I am too entranced by your beauty, it’s hypnotising.”
“Wally,” Dick warned.
Wally stepped forward. But instead of giving her the basket, he kissed the back of her hand. Dick's hand shot out and flicked the man’s forehead, Wally’s head arched back and he landed on his behind, vision spinning. Dick stepped around his best friend’s pile of limbs and retrieved the basket, thankfully the eggs hadn’t cracked.
“Bye Wonder Boy!” Wally called out as they left. Marinette cried internally from not getting any of the textiles.
The couple finally rested on a raised curb. The Wayne family mural laid behind them. It was many years old, it was originally painted around the time Steph got her miracle but recently Damian had been added with Titus by his side.
Dick watched as Marinette rubbed her fingertips over the painting. His gaze drifted downwards. He looked solemnly at the black-gloved hand on her lap. He shot up, spine straight as a pin as he dug through his pocket. She looked at him strangely as he handed her his scrunched-up handkerchief. He unwrapped it and it was a squashed croissant.
“Oh um, here.” He placed the pastry on her lap, scratching the back of his neck in embarrassment. “Sorry, I asked Alfred to make it.”
She couldn’t refuse that face. She took a bite out of it, her hand and ankle tingled. She shifted and kissed his cheek. They looked up at the painting of the Wayne Clan.
Bruce was in the centre, arms bent in front of him, holding the candle. Dick, as always, stood to Bruce’s right, he held a piano over their heads. Alfred stood on the other side, he carried a plate of food. Each of the three men were dressed in blacks and whites, Mari’s nose scrunched, she had never seen any of them wear a colour. Personally she thinks Dick would look good in a baby blue, Alfred maybe a dark teal?
Tim, Barbara, Steph and Duke stood nearest to Dick.
Tim wore a canary yellow tunic with darker yellow curved lines to represent the soundwaves he hears. He was posed with his signature mug of coffee and his other hand cupped at his ear.
Barbara was standing in the painting, her hair was in a side braid and round glasses perched on her nose. She wore a tan blouse that had flared sleeves and a long orange skirt; it was embroidered with sunset clouds. Her hands were positioned in front of her, with a yellow sun shining brightly behind her.
Steph’s ability couldn’t be easily captured in the painting, so, similar to her door, she held a dramatic mask. Her eggplant coloured dress was buckled at the waist with another mask, it was the same at the collar of her blouse.
Duke wore yellow linen pants with a black top. His yellow was a few shades darker, maybe a mustard? His hands created a circle and his light sparked in the centre.
Cass, Damian and a man she didn’t know stood next to Alfred.
Cass wore her usual black cargo pants with a grey and gold top. Her hair and part of her forehead had vanished in a cloud of smoke.
Damian wore his modified green bisht, with embroidery running along the hems. A golden snake necklace created the neckline for his black shirt. He, along with the unknown man, were the only two who didn’t smile in the mural.
Her hand paused. Previously it had run over each person in the painting but she was confused by the last person. Cass and his arms were interlaced and the white strip in his hair was smoking, similar yet it somehow seemed different from Cass’. She turned towards Dick who was staring at her intently, cheeks resting on his hand.
He sat up straight but sighed. Dick averted his eyes to the ground before finally looking up at his brother. He avoided this mural religiously. Jason’s smirk was too close to a smile. His hair looked combed, not messy. Clothes had no holes or tears from rats and fights; red shirt, black leather jacket, denim pants and combat boots. No scars.
They looked like a happy family here. Most wore smiles and held their closest relatives. They looked like a full happy family with Jason.
He whispered his brother’s name, forehead thudding against the mural.
“I have to go.” He stood up, eyes still closed. He knew they would be red and watery if he exposed them to the world. He had to keep up with the mural’s facade; the Wayne Family’s facade.
Marinette watched his back become smaller and smaller before becoming obscured by the crowd. She left as well. Wandering through the markets with her basket slowly getting heavier, although she was almost done before she needed something to keep her busy.
“Did you hear about the Wayne’s?”
“Hear? I saw! I was in the room when the magi—” The First Lady shushed her friend, a painted hand covering the loud girl’s face. She nervously chuckled at the watching crowd before pulling her friend off to the side.
“No! Not about the magic, the wedding! I heard there was an engagement.” The First Lady quietly squealed. Marinette watched them from the corner of her eye as she pretended to look over the merchant’s wares. The lady’s loud friend made a noise of bafflement and had a dumbfounded look on her face. “Shhhh shush! I heard it was tonight as well!”
‘Tonight?’ Dick had invited her to dinner tonight. Her hands trembled as she remembered yesterday’s conversation and his baby blue eyes.
“Mari I was thinking,” He paused hesitantly. “Tonight made me realise we’ve never discussed the future…” His voice trailed off but his eyes never left her, his cheeks reddened. “What do you see in your future? Did you want to be married sometime in the near future?”
‘Was this what he meant?’
She didn’t wait around for her brain to make up an answer. Marinette hurried off. Apparently she needed another thing to be busy from.
And when you have two things to be busy from, you eventually run out of things to do. So you go with the lesser of two evils.
She eventually circled back around to the mural. She looked back at the painted faces and compared them to the family she saw almost daily (well, daily since she returned).
“They don't seem upset or mad at all.” She wiped her eyes with the back of her hand, tearing her eyes away. “So don't feel regret or sad at all.”
She looked around at everyone going out of their daily lives “Hey, I'm not a part of the family, it’s understandable.” She shrugged her shoulders. “And I'm fine, I am totally fine. I will stand on the side as they shine”
Her eyes clouded, tears obscuring her vision. She didn’t let them fall though; the Wayne’s never falter so why should she? Especially if Dick planned on making her a Wayne tonight. How would she hyphen her name? Marinette Dupain-Cheng-Wayne? Or what about Alphabetical order; Marinette Cheng-Dupain-Wayne. Or maybe a mash of the three? Marinette Dupengne. Wait Dick’s name is Hyphenated as well; Dick Wayne-Grayson. Marinette Dupain-Grayson-Cheng. Marinette Dupengson. Marinette Dupeng-Wayson. Her mind was a mess, she was a mess.
She wasn’t ready for this. But I guess who is ever ready for their lives to change. The Wayne’s, the foundation of Gotham certainly weren’t. “I'm not fine, they’re not fine.” She finally let those tear drops fall.
Have you ever felt like you were drowning on dry land? When your clear vision is swimming and the breathable air isn’t able to enter your lungs.
Have you ever seen those blue speckles when you close your eyes? They form many different shapes, whatever your heart desires. She felt like she was there. Chest screaming for a breath as images from her mind flooded the darkness before her.
“I can't move the mountains.” The blue, navy and black rippled beneath her feet. Heat rushed through her body and she felt her heartbeat in her hands. She looked down at them and felt like her fingers were alight like candle wicks. “I can't make infernos bloom.”
She threw her arms down, sparks flying off of her finger tips. “I can't take another night watching their tomb!” She stamped her foot, her pink skirt swishing. Her mouth formed into a pout, “Waiting on a miracle.”
“I can't heal what's broken.” Bandages wrapped around her like they were sent to mummify her, before exploding out in a flurry. “Can't control the morning rain or a hurricane.” She grabbed at her chest as she took another step into the darkness. “Can't keep down the unspoken invisible pain. So I’ll be waiting on a miracle, a miracle!”
She couldn’t tell whether the darkness from her eyes had faded and her sight was restored or if she was viewing a memory. She was peeking from behind a pillar and watched as the Wayne’s walked aimlessly around their mansion. “They're always walking alone, always wanting for more.” She flipped and pressed her back against the square pillar. The coldness from the stone creeped into her skin. “Like they're still at that door longing to shine—“ she gazed as Bruce walked downstairs, coffee in hand, sipping it nonchalantly. “—Like you hoped they’d all shine. . .”
She ran away from the mansion, darkness surrounded her. She looked back as the clouds of darkness covered the mansion. She yelled into the mist, “All they need is a change. . . All they need is a chance!” She puffed up her chest and turned away. “All I know is I can't stay on the side! Watching them die, open your eyes, open your eyes!”
She pushed her hands out as if to slam open a double door, the black and blue world around her rippled. “I would move the mountains. Make new flames and fires grow.” She didn’t know why she was saying what she was but it just felt right. She felt a gush of wind blow, her hair whipped around. “Someone please just let me know, where do I go? They’re waiting on a miracle, a miracle.”
Images of faces appeared before her. Damian’s hurt face after the destruction of his room and his father’s dismissive attitude. Steph’s sorrow-filled song, belted out through choked sobs. Dick’s anxiety ridden shoulders carried the weight of his family. “Show this family something new. Who they are inside, so what can I do? They’re sick of waiting on a miracle, so here I go!” She stamped her foot, blue sparks erupted around her.
“I am ready! Come on, I'm ready!”
She ran again. Reaching out her arms, she swung around. She twirled, semi in place, as she let go. She felt solid ground beneath the soles of her ballet flats. She saw her reflection materialise in front of her in an outline of blue sparks. Her reflection joyed her in clutching their chests. They both spun on their heels and stood back to back.
“I've been patient, and steadfast, and steady! Help me now as you blessed them all those years ago. . .” She flung her arms out and belted out her final notes, head held high. “When you gave them a miracle!”
The tears fell from her eyes and the blackness faded. Her knees gave way and she plopped down on something soft. She looked around, she found pink walls with cherry blossoms and Chinese lucky cats; sewing materials scattered everywhere and posters for the circus littered the floor. Her eyes slowly dragged from the mess to the sobering sunset outside her window.
“Are we too late for a miracle?” Her hoarse voice trailed off into the silence of the wind.
She hung her head. Her heart was filled with guilt and worry.
‘Is there really nothing I can do?’ She splashed some water on her face, hoping to calm down her hot cheeks and swollen eyes. ‘Wait. . .’ Her eyes snapped back to the window.
Sunset.
The Wayne’s Dinner.
Dick’s proposal.
“Oh shit!” She rubbed her face (which did nothing for the redness) and ran out of the room, putting on her nicest white blouse. Slipping on her ballet flats she ran out the door. She ran down the street, running her hands through her hair trying to flatten the frizz.
Her heart beat louder than her footsteps. She looked out of the corner of her eye, she saw herself running in the windows. She looked like a brewing storm; the tension in her shoulders and the air; the darkening clouds and bags under her eyes; the anxiety and nerves before the rain came.
Distracted by the hurricane of thoughts in her head she bumped into someone on this barren backstreet. “Sorry!” She yelled, not looking at her victim, they seemed to still be standing though so they were hopefully fine. She rubbed her arm and cursed under her breath, whoever they were, they were built like a brick wall.
Said person watched as she ran down Gotham’s Crime Alley. His heavy leather boots scuffed against the gravel path, a dust cloud blew past him but he didn’t mind. He had a red bandanna over his nose and mouth and a brown leather jacket with a dark maroon hood. He watched as she disappeared around a corner, he knew where she was going and knew that this was a storm he didn’t want to miss.
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She arrived at Wayne Manor, albeit very late. Before walking through the giant door to the she looked at the sun, or where it should be. It had just dipped behind the mountain range but she could see the rays through the orange clouds against the purple sky. Maybe it was waiting on her so she wouldn’t be tardy. She might be able to sneak in, they probably haven’t started dinner yet.
All eyes turned to her as she entered. So much for her naive hopefulness. She nervously chuckled, rubbing the back of her neck as her eyes shot to the floor.
“You’re late,” Bruce grumbled from his place at the head of the table. She could feel his dark eyes glaring holes into her.
She scurried to her seat, Dick helped push in her chair and held her hand under the table. She wanted to breathe a sigh of relief but it would be like a scream into the blanket of silence that laid across the dinner table. It didn’t help that she was only one seat away from Bruce, because once again Dick was his right hand man.
Selina sat diagonally across from her and smiled a Cheshire grin. “Nice to meet you! Marinette right?” She held out a hand to shake, “I’m Selina, we’ve seemed to always miss each other.”
A small smile appeared on the young girl’s face. “Lovely to meet you too.”
Selina hunched her body towards her, chin lent upon her hand. “So tell me about yourself, Precious.” Selina purred and Marinette squeaked, her cheeks reddening.
The young lady’s hands clenched at her pink skirt. “I—” she stuttered, “—I work as a performer and costume director at Miraculous Circus.”
Selina’s eyes widened and her back straightened. “Oh wow,” she exclaimed, her face was one of shock and awe. “That’s quite an achievement!”
Bruce watched as those two were deep in conversation. The hand holding his cup tensed and turned white at the knuckles. His shoulders, like always, were tense. He didn’t project it but anxiety was pumping through his veins. He didn’t know who he could trust with his family’s miracle, so he was suspicious of everyone.
“I adore the circus! All the bright lights, costumes and acts. It’s just. . .” Selina waved her arm around trying to find the right words. “Oh, I don’t know! Magical?”
He adopted many children and teens into his family, so he’d like to say that he had good judgement; but there was a dark blot in the family’s past that wrecked everything.
“We do try our best to achieve that.” Marinette grinned. “Were you at our last performance of the year?”
Could he trust Selina? Would she use the power she is given to finally do good? He loved Selina but she could be so difficult. She didn’t have the cleanest record.
“Hm? Oh! I wouldn’t have missed it for the world. I finally would get to see Dickies girl that he’s been raving about!”
Bruce’s eyes shifted to his eldest son, who grumbled in embarrassment. Next to him was Marinette, she looked at Dick with a teasing grin.
Could he trust Marinette? She and Dick had been dating for many years. Unlike himself and Selina, who were frequently on and off; the young couple had stuck it out through thick and thin, bearing the long distances and periods of lacking contact. But in his eyes, Marinette was a distraction to Dick, who needed to be strong for the sake of the family.
Bruce didn’t even want to give her the time of day but his children begged for her to come. He just hoped she wouldn’t ruin any of his plans.
“I must have missed you. The audience is dark so it’s hard to see. Sorry I didn’t say hello when I was over greeting the others.”
“I was sitting with my girlfriends during the show.” Selina leaned forward, the black fabric covering her torso touched the table. “One of them, Harley Quinn, used to be a clown. She wasn’t a circus performer—“
“Selina.” Bruce warned and the room went silent. Nothing but her musings filled the room. His fists clenched again. He had told her that she shouldn’t socialise with people like Ivy and Harley. ‘Why does she never listen?’
“—she was more—“ Selina was cut off by Bruce again. He warned her once more with a deep and dark tone. The cat burglar turned to her boyfriend, a wide grin pulled at her cheeks. “—freelance.”
Bruce’s eyes narrowed but her grin never faltered.
Before silence could find a foothold Alfred came in with the meals, wordlessly Dick and Marinette got up to help the elderly butler.
Bruce raise his glass, “To a perfect night! À votre santé (cheers).”
The family followed suit.
Although the meal was delicious, Marinette left like it rotted in her dry throat. She was so, so nervous. The spoon in her hand shook. It didn’t help that Tim was staring her down. She knew he had super sonic hearing. Did he know that Dick was going to propose? Or was he angry at her for being scared about it. Was he offended by her song?
She felt Dick lean her way and whisper in her ear, asking if she was ok. She nodded at him, her gaze returning down the table. She saw Tim whispering in Barbara’s ear, a thundering cloud forming over her head.
Bruce interrupted his conversation with Selina to state the obvious. “Barbara. You have a cloud.”
Barbara clasped her hands in front of her and shut her eyes tightly. “Clear skies, clear skies, clear skies.” She whispered. Both Selina and Marinette looked at the red head confusedly. They hadn’t seen Barbara chant or need to calm herself down before.
She looked away again but the whispering returned. She saw images appear in Cass’ smoke as she passed on what Barbara said to her to Steph. It was a mix of smoke signaling and sign language, if Marinette had to guess. Steph coughed, choking on her dinner as her face contorted and shifted into other people. In the smoke and the shifting faces she saw her face along with the guy from the mural.
That just confused her more. Why were they talking about him and her?
She felt something shift. She looked around. She felt the shift along with some crackling noise. She looked around again. The floor underneath her chair showed a slow building crack. She gasped and bent down to look closer.
“Marinette.” She slammed her head into the table, her back shooting up pin straight. Selina’s brows furrowed, “Are you ok?”
Marinette’s lips pursed as she rapidly nodded. Her hand sneaked up the back of her neck, fingers entwined in her hair searching for a bump on her skull.
“She’s just excited!” Dick cut in, laughing. Marinette looked at him confusedly, he winked, his signal to ‘play along’. He stood up, patting her shoulder. “She’s just excited—“ he walked over to Bruce and turned his chair to face Selina. “—For your announcement!”
“Which you should do!” Barbara chimed in. She flicked her hand, a small twist of wind swung Selina’s chair so she sat directly before Bruce.
“Which you should do right now!” Dick tipped Bruce’s chair, the Wayne head fell on his knees.
Selina looked down at him, her braided black hair hung over her shoulder. She raised an eyebrow, her smirk fading off, until it was nothing more than a whisper on her lips.
Bruce cleared his throat and reached around to grab an item out of his pocket. “Selina.” He gazed into her eyes, a rare genuine smile appeared. “You are the most passionate woman I know. Will you be my wife?”
The Cheshire grin returned to Selina’s red lips. “What took you so long?”
The family cheered and whistled in joy. After years and years and years of the couple being on and off; back and forth; building up and tearing down.
Her eyes sparkled as the ring slid onto her finger. “Damn, I don’t think I’ve ever stolen something this pretty.”
She looked back up at Bruce’s face, his smile had been wiped clean and a scowl stood in its place. “Selina,” he said in a warning tone.
She patted his cheek with a cheeky grin before she booped his nose, he subconsciously flinched backwards. “Relax Brucie~”
“Show us!” Steph rose out of her chair and stumbled over. She gasped in awe at the ring. Selina tilted her hand forward so she could show it off to the Wayne children. It was a princess cut three carat diamond with two smaller black sapphires either side, embedded into a band of white gold. It was gorgeous.
Marinette’s head spun. She realised she had been holding her breath this whole time. She closed her eyes, shoulders dropped and she silently sighed. She was happy but unhappy at the same time. ‘Why am I like this?’ She questioned. The sinking pit of anxiety was gone but a sense of numbness replaced it; she couldn’t tell if that was better or worse.
She painted a smile on her face, ‘It’s an engagement. I should be happy.’ She gasped when she saw the ring, it was perfect for Selina. “It’s beautiful Selina.”
“Thank you, Precious.” Marinette blushed at the nickname, her eyes flying away from the source of her embarrassment.
"If you’re acting like this, the fearless circus flyer, I can only imagine the looks on Harley and Ivy's faces when they see this!” Selina hugged her arms to her chest, hands clasped together she gazed down at her newly acquired jewellery. She spun on her heel, her black leather and velvet skirt twisted around her slender legs. “Babs! Tim! You’re the planners of the family. What do you think of red bridesmaid dresses? I think Harley and Ivy both would look amazing in red."
"I thought you were going to stop associating with those criminals."
Her red lips pouted as she grabbed the back of her chair. The air became heavy. “Bruce,” she paused, seemingly in a state of disbelief. “They’re my best friends.”
A cloud began to brew overhead but no one could take their eyes off of the incoming disaster to notice. Marinette feels her chair shift again and the cracks camouflaged with the sound of rolling thunder.
“They’re criminals.”
“They were criminals. They’ve stopped just like me. We’re still rough around the edges and don’t always make the best decision but we try.” She pursed her lips. “I thought you knew that, and that’s why you proposed.”
They seemed to forget that they were surrounded by children and young adults, Alfred tried to usher them out but they were lost in conversation.
“I thought you knew better.” He slammed his fist down on the table, the plate and silverware jumped and clattered back onto the wooden table. “You haven’t changed.I have a duty to protect our family’s miracle from people who will use it for greed and destruction.”
“Are you saying I’m using you?” She yelled, her mocha skin turning pink from anger.
“I’m saying I thought you behaved better.”
Her wordless shriek ricocheted around the room.
Her fingers grabbed at her engagement ring, she thought about chucking it on the floor in a moment of righteous dramaticism; but it was too pretty for that.
‘I can’t throw it away.’ She turned on her heel and swiftly walked out the door with a straight back and her head held high. ‘Seems like it will now be the prettiest thing I’ve ever stolen.’
Her clicking heels in the tile were drowned out by booming thunder as a torrent of rain poured down. Steph and Mari screamed as they tried to escape the rain. Damian’s animals scampered across the tiles, Titus’ paws slipped and he dragged the whole table cloth down as well. Steph started shifting wildly and Tim held hands over his ears yelling at Barbara to shrink the storm. Duke and Cass were at Barbara’s side trying to calm her down.
In the end Dick lifted all his siblings out into the courtyard; Steph, Mari and Alfred met them carrying towels to dry off.
Bruce came out last. He refused the towel and stormed up to his room. A trail of wet footprints and a broken engagement left in his wake. His door slammed but the storm raged on.
STORY MASTERLIST
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youabandonedthem · 1 year
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hi i like your personal takes on the midnight crew as well as the other works depicting them. what's your opinion on the hs2 bonus: diamonds, dames and dads?
fthankk you for agreeing with my other things. i read it before but tonight i read the patreon commentary. I think it is a psy op a la Vast error to make midnight crew fans want to kill themselves. thank you
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pulpman2 · 2 years
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The Art of Female Persuasion
“Sometimes all we girls have is words, eh Antonio?” private investigator Samantha Kane spoke jauntily to the now semi conscious mobster who had been left to guard her when Sam had found she had temporarily bitten off more than she could chew. “We’ll be back soon to put this dame on ice!” Max the Decorator, notorious mafiosi had growled at the young man before leaving with his guys to carry out the diamond store heist Sam had been trying to prevent. “Don’t let her out of your sight, kid!” Unarmed and faced with a jumpy young gangster, the bound Sam turned to tears and pleading. “Please untie me,” she begged the young man, “It’s so tight! I didn’t mean to get mixed up in this! You seem such a nice boy!” Sure enough, her appeal to his gallantry worked and soon the man was freeing her. “I must be crazy,” he smiled, taking in the shape of Sam’s shapely nyloned legs, “so don’t try anything.” Some hope! Sam smiled to herself.
The next twenty minutes were an exercise in family nostalgia and shame as the detective established that young Antonio was on his way to college till his father died and he had to pay the medical bills for his poor ill mama. “The mob was the only way out!” he insisted. “And what would you dad think of you holding a woman hostage, Toni?” Sam asked the embarrassed looking young man. “Not much, I guess.” he replied, shame faced, and looked up to see the woman holding out her hand. “Do the right thing,” she urged gently, “and give me the gun.” Antonio sighed deeply and nodded. He handed over his weapon to the detective handle first. “I feel better.” he told her, smiling. “Good.” replied Sam. “Now you turn round while I sneak out the back, like we agreed.” Antonio smiled and did as he was told. Sam immediately clipped him on the back of his head with his own gun, and he fell sprawling to the floor, half stunned. Sam stepped over him to retrieve the ropes that had bound her and then knelt next to prone man, who stirred as she pulled his arms behind his back. “You tricked me!” Antonio groaned reproachfully, his voice choking as the woman tied his wrists together tightly. Sam nodded ruefully. “Tell Max you fell for the art of female persuasion.” she told him. “He’ll understand.” And then she gagged him.
My less lethal interpretation of the story behind the cover to this issue of True Detective magazine (January 1967).
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scoutpologist · 2 years
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just found about diamonds, dames, and dads. going dark
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