#did I let my own love of baking infect this particular version of reader?

[ichayalovesyou]

a pike writing request: a captain’s dinner like the one uhura went to in the second episode? love the writing!

Oh thank you so much 💚🖖🏻💚 I just wrote an angsty one so this one is gonna be chaotic and silly to balance things out! Buckle up and enjoy 😎

Fork In Hand (Pike x Reader)

Rating: PG-13 (language, blood, flirting)

Word Count: 986

Content: SFW, GN!Reader, Science Division!Reader, flirty casual relationship, Reader has mad scientist energy, Murphy’s Law, baked goods, accidental stabbing, Dad Mode Pike.

Teaser: Enter with mad baking skills, leave covered in Antares-style beef brisket… and also your own blood. As far as Captain’s Dinners go, this one’s for the history books.

Baking is an art, and a time consumer, so you made it a point to show up first to the Captain’s quarters for dinner prep. You couldn’t help your perfectionism, bread is Your Thing, and not even Chris was allowed to help you.

Chris could grill almost as well as he could command a starship, but you, you were a chemist! And a punctual one! That bread was going to be fresh out of the oven the second everyone sat down and no one was gonna stop you!

Culinary arsenal in hand, you rang.

“Come!”

The doors slid open, and Pike was already hard at work.

“Chris-aptain! Hey!”

“Y/N! Exactly on time as usual, and I thought Vulcans were punctual.” Pike laughed at your half-assed attempt at addressing him professionally.

“Yeah well, you know how I feel about buns.” You put dropped off ingredients and sidled to the countertop next to him, giving him a quick swat to that excellent keister of his.

“You! You, are ridiculous.” he jumped, in fake indignation, stifling a giggle.

“Oh I know, I got stuff for rosemary bread and Bolian olive bread, how does that sound?”

“Go for it, Ensign Zier is Bolian isn’t she? I’m sure she’ll appreciate it!”

“It’s what I had in mind, she’s in my department after all, ought to make her feel welcome.”

“That is the goal.” Damn, if that smile couldn’t light up a room.

“Got any plans for later?” Chris covered the brisket and made his way over to your workspace.

“Uh, ahah, you mean like for desert? Because, I mean, La’an’s coming, I was thinking strawberry shortcake so, uh…”

“That isn’t quite what I meant but-“

The door chimed, you didn’t think it was possible to think the words ‘thank god’ and ‘god damnit’ at the same time but, here you were.

As other guests trickled in and hopped to work there wasn’t any time left for you and Pike to mess around. After all, you didn’t wanna get behind schedule and there was only so much space in the oven.

Dinner went off without a hitch, the command duo dominated the conversation with their usual charm and vigor. The Cadet of the evening got their usual ‘Decade Question’. You snuck a joke or comment in here and there but mostly let your work speak for you. Drinks were served, people went in for seconds, you got up to pour yourself another Scotch.

When you noticed a second too late that the foot traffic had caused a fold in the rug, and your Ensign was about to eat the floor.

You tried to save Zier and her plate from the spill, you failed on both accounts. Well, at least you saved a utensil, not that you thought anybody would want what you had caught. Although caught might be a generous term. It was more like it had caught you.

You were so shocked you started laughing, cackling even. What else could you do?

Because, Oh GOD-

There was a fork

In your hand.

Sorry, not in your hand, through it! Right below the knuckles!

After that things got a little fuzzy.

Somebody gasped at you so hard that they started choking and another person had to help them. Somebody else (Una?) went to help Zier up. “Chris!” oh yeah, that was loud, and that was Una. Zier wouldn’t shut the hell up and stop apologizing. Shit, now the oven is going off. Bad timing. For once.

The Captain’s expression had gone from confused to white as a sheet as he made a B-line for you. You used him and your not-stabbed-with-a-fork hand to brace yourself. Gross, you were bleeding everywhere.

“Tell Sam if he lets my shortcakes burn I will kill him.” you said through gritted teeth as the wonderful sensation of being stabbed took hold and the adrenaline wore off.

The Captain gave a hard glance at Kirk and nodded toward the oven, Sam gave a vague ‘Why me?!’ gesture with his mouth full of brisket, but scuttled over to the oven anyway.

Chris hoisted you up to your feet and hauled ass. You hadn’t lost that much blood you didn’t need to be carried. Right?

Frankly Chris didn’t seem to care and it was faster to just let him help you. You tried to stumble out of the turbolift without his help but the Captain was just not having it, next thing you knew you were in Sickbay.

“What happened? Is that a fork?!” Chapel set down a data pad and rushed over to you, dermal regenerator in hand.

“Sir please stop hovering, it’s gonna be fine. This isn’t the first time either of us has dealt with a stab wound.”

“Right, sorry.”

About fifteen minutes of Chapel being your new best friend and occasionally shooing Chris away later, your hand was good as new.

“You okay?” Chris ventured

“Physically? Yeah. But all that… that was rough.”

“Yeah it was! I don’t think we’ll be living that one down anytime soon.”

“Neither will Zier.”

“Oh relax Y/N, it was an accident.”

“I know, I’m joking Chris, I think, maybe.”

He laughed “You know, there was one dinner a few years ago where that wasn’t an accident?”

“A kid stabbed a superior officer on purpose?!”

“Yeah, but I think I’ll save that story for another time. Would probably be in poor taste at this point.”

“Understatement of the year.”

“You ready to get back in there and see what the damage is?”

“Yeah, hopefully the shortcakes turn out okay.”

“It’ll be fine, you put sweat, tears AND blood into those shortcakes. La’an is… intense, she’ll probably love you for that kind of thing.”

“She would yeah!” you laughed, always a delightful surprise when Chris did some good natured ribbing.

One thing’s for sure, you’re gonna remember this night for the rest of your life.