#digby WOULD give the best hugs

[dullgecko]

I think the Bad Kids and their parents often have to look after each other. Just like family.

(AKA I never see bad kid parents headcanons so have mine)

Like, the parents help all the kiddos out, with meds and patience and love.

But Jawbone still sometimes gets shaky from withdrawal, and the Mordred kids all know to help him make meals when he can't hold anything. He goes far off and away and Adaine helps him with the same grounding tricks he taught her. (He can't be put on medication because there is such a strong risk he'd get addicted again (this needs to be a fic I'm realising)).

Sklonda may be better off than right after Pok died, but she still is underweight from sacrificing food so Riz could eat. She has passed out before from forgetting to eat out of habit, and has a lot of guilt around food.

Gorthalax was never meant to be trapped in a gem, so he's quite claustrophobic after multiple instances of it happening. Fig has had to coax him down from a few panic attacks when he is summoned into a smaller space.

Gilear does sometimes have night terrors, and they're VERY bad. Mostly about him dying (a lot). He wakes up screaming and the first couple times scared Fig to her core.

Sandra Lynn is forever guilty for Fig and Jawbone, and she sleep talks about it unknowingly.

Halariel is an awful mother, but she does love her darling boy. She also has withdrawal symptoms.

Bill is bipolar, although he is medicated.

Wilma and Digby are... Wilma and Digby, I really don't think they have any specific issues other than feeling disconnected from their big beautiful boy.

But like these parents have gone through so much man. Nobody thinks about it.

Jawbone feels really lucky that he met the kids in the first place, and feels like a bit of a burden when his past comes back to bite him in such a bad way sometimes. At the very least he has medical insurance so he can get his problems dealth with professionally but sometimes there's nothing they can do except ride it out with him. They make sure he has spaces where he's comfortable and safe (and wont accidentally wolf-out on anyone) and make sure he stays fed and hydrated until he feels better. Once he does he makes sure to give his girls the BIGGEST hugs to show he appreciates them (he gives the best hugs).

Sklonda sacrificed a lot for Riz after Pok died, and Riz realised she was doing this when he was still fairly young. She doesn't know that he was doing his best to make sure she was fed too (and he will never tell her that on some of the nights he said he wasnt hungry so she would eat he was dumpster diving in secret). Now that he's earning money of his own with his detective job he makes sure to sneak an extra twenty into her purse every now and then so she'll buy herself something for lunch. The other parents make sure to send Riz home from sleepovers and outings with armfulls of leftovers too so she has some food in the house she has to eat before it goes bad.

Gortholax gets anxious if anyone wears jewelery with stones larger than a centimeter or so across. None of the other parents will wear any when they meet up, and all the bad kids will only wear solid metal bands, pendants or studs as their jewelery. They hold any bad kid and family get togethers in big open spaces so he feels more comfortable.

Poor Gilear needs a hug, but things are getting better for him now that he lives at Seacaster manor (and his daughter and not-stepson-yet arent dragging him around on horrifying nightmare adventures).

Sandra Lynn has some pretty deep-seated issues revolving around faithfulness and commitment, but Jawbone and Lydia are helping her work through them somewhat. She feels lucky that Jawbone is such an understanding partner, and her friends are lovely as well.

Hallarial spent so much of Fabians life being drunk that she's not really sure how to mother him now that she's trying to be sober. He's basically an adult, so she defaults to trying to more or less treat him like one even though he's starving for parental affection after his dads death. She hasn't spent much time around the other parents so they havent managed to scold her for her behaviour yet, but Gilear is trying his best to steer her in the right direction.

Bill, the absoloutly UNHINGED pirate captain being one of the only parents to sortof have his shit together is hilarious. No notes. He acts like that for the aesthetics. He loves his darling boy! He's loving his afterlife! He loved his life!

Wilma and Digby are precious and are doing their best. They tend to be the ones to help the other parents out the most, and scold them when they need to so they'll act right by their kids.

[greatestwizardofthisage]

I made a playlist for Gorgug and put way too much thought into it please appreciate it

Boys Will Be Bugs by Cavetown

Freaks by Surf Curse

Be Alone by Paramore

The Stand by Mother Mother

Home by Cavetown

Pet Sematary by Ramones

Threshold by Sex Bob-Omb

Bit by Bit by Mother Mother

Hug All Ur Friends by Cavetown

Backflip by The Front Bottoms

Could Have Been Me by The Struts

Weightless by All Time Low

I Can’t Handle Change by Roar

Be Nice To Me by The Front Bottoms

If you want to listen to the playlist here you go

https://open.spotify.com/playlist/6Hp20qAJqkPgKumLuQSkET?si=572ccd72871f468e

Also it turns out I had a lot of thoughts about this so if you want to read my reasoning for some of these songs you can do that but fair warning it's a mess

Home by Cavetown - Ok so this song gives me big Gorgug in the forest of the nightmare king vibes. ‘I’m a little sick right now but I swear// when I’m ready I will fly us out of here’ = ‘It’s Gorgug keep going’ vibes and then ‘sometimes I think I’m dead’ I mean that's pretty obvious, he had that whole issue of like ‘I died on my first day and now how do I know if my life is real’ and then lastly just ‘Get a load of this monster// he doesn't know how to communicate// his mind is in a different place// will everybody give him a little bit of space’ = he’s always had a difficult relationship with his rage, often feeling bad/embarrassed for those feelings, but ultimately they help him keep his friends safe so maybe it’s not all bad but like when he’s with the sphinx and has to face the fact that he isn't the smartest? that shit hurts (also big autistic vibes for that last bit, he likes to be alone and needs space to be able to deal with his emotions)

Pet sematary by Ramones - I don’t have as much to say about this just, the whole vibe is dying and being brought back against your will (and with the added context of the stephen king books it’s about being brought back not quite right...) so yeah big Gorgug vibes like maybe this is the kind of thing he’d write with Fig when he’s feeling angsty. (Also this is off topic but Gorgug low key gives me Joey Ramone vibes...)

Threshold by Sex Bob-Omb - Another song I can see him writing with Fig. Just like big Autistic vibes, kind of gives me like going into a rage to avoid autistic overstimulation and just being so pissed and just like brute forcing it. So yeah also just like the distortion? on the song feels like how everything sounds to me when I’m experiencing overstimulation so yeah just big autistic Gorgug vibes for this one. (Also fun drumming that I can see Gorgug using to just get all the excess energy out)

Hug All Ur Friends by Cavetown - I mean I feel like Gorgug is the kind if guy to just love SO fiercely but to not really know what to do with these feelings? Like he said in his introduction that he’s never really had friends and prefers to just be alone. So then to suddenly have loads of friends?? He would love the shit out them!! And he would absolutely give the best hugs!!! So fuck yeah 'hug all your friends and let them know you’re not letting go’ Also the ‘I cant breath anymore// I forgot how to walk on my own// I could do with a little more of your help’ like he's always been alone so he learned to live like that but now he has friends but friends come with doubts and insecurities because what if they don't really like him but like he’s realized he likes having friends and doesn't want to go back to being alone all the time and he can’t use his old coping mechanisms of pretending it’s fine so he's having to learn to reach out.

Backflip by The Front Bottoms - Mainly included for the first few lines ‘I don't see me mad at situations; I see me turn and walk away// I see a tattoo on my right thigh that I will probably regret one day// Yeah, I will probably regret one day// But now I'm happy to be bonding in a kitchen with my friends’ I mean is that not quintessential Gorgug?? Like when he’s getting frustrated with Telemaine Lomenelda and he just straight up walks away? And his tattoos from leviathan?? It just fits too well!!! 

Weightless by All Time Low - I just feel like once Digby and Wilma realise their songs aren't getting through to him they’d find him something like this? Like more his style, so like he comes home after a bad day and their just like “See it's like the song bud!! Maybe today wasn’t your day but it could still be your year!” and so when he has a rough day you can sometimes hear him just muttering to himself like “yeah maybe it WILL be my year” 

Be Nice To Me by The Front Bottoms - Honestly this boy takes so many hits for the team because like he has the most hit points so it makes sense, he can take it! But god it must get exhausting just being hit constantly just to be healed and then hit all over again, so yeah that opening like ‘I got boulders on my shoulders// Collar bones begin to crack// There is very little left of me and it's never coming back’ like yeah he can be healed but that doesnt make up for the emotional trauma of it all. (Also ‘Can we talk about this later?// Your voice is driving me insane// I try to write you poems, but the words they don't make sense// The hand tries to grip the pencil, but the fingers are too tense// I try to show emotion, but my eyes won't seem to wet’ is again just me projecting my autism onto him so yeah)

[wiypt-writes]

Too Loose And You’ll Lose It

Ch3: Man, You Really Are As Dumb As You Look. Part 2 Co-written with @icanfeelastormbrewing​

Summary: Evan asks Stella on a date, Jake’s not impressed and the entire thing takes him on a little trip down memory lane…

Warnings: Bad Language words. SMUT via flashback in Part 2 (NSFW 18+)

Pairing: Jake Jensen x OFC Stella Stevenson.

A/N:  So the smut in this chapter is way back when the pair of them were kids. Both 18 before anyone says anything, and is designed to be a truthful reflection of a first time! We hope you enjoy it because it certainly made us giggle a lot.

TLAYLI Masterlist // Main Masterlist

Chapter 3 Part 1

June 1999

Jensen parked his Dad’s ford on the drive at the side of Stella’s house and climbed out, the box containing her corsage which matched his boutonniere in his hand. Taking a deep breath he headed round the back of the house and into the kitchen, not bothering to knock as usual.

Stella’s mom was in the kitchen and she looked up at him, smiling.

“Oh my goodness, Jacob Calvin Jensen…you’ve always been a handsome young man but tonight…well, you look positively dapper!” he beamed.

“Thanks Jules.” Jake felt the heat in his cheeks as he blushed at her praise. “Is Stel ready?”

“She should be, she spent almost all afternoon locked in her room with Rey.”

“Oh, ok. Has she erm…got a bag for tonight?” Jake suddenly felt his mouth go dry, and he nervously scratched the back of his neck. What the fuck was wrong with him? Stella had stayed at his loads of times before and Jules had never batted an eyelid, hell he’d stayed here plenty too and not a word had been said. But now, he was suddenly feeling nervous. But as he looked at Stella’s mom she just smiled and stepped forward towards him. She reached out to straighten the grey and silver bow tie and looked at him.

“She’s special Jake, but you already know that.”

Ok so now he wanted the fucking ground to swallow him.

“Her bag’s in the hall.” Julie stepped back, patting the lapels of his jacket. Jake gave her another smile, set the box with Stella’s corsage down on the side and headed into the hall, taking the opportunity to escape for a moment as he took it to the car, slinging it into the trunk. He headed back inside and before he had to think of anything else to say to steer the conversation away from the fact that Jules knew full well he was planning on having sex with her daughter that night, he was saved by Aubrey who waltzed into the kitchen.

“God, she’s a nervous wreck.” Aubrey mumbled, “Being a right pain in the ass. I’ve done and redone her hair about fifty times.”

She grabbed a can of soda from the fridge, completely ignoring Jensen which was fine by him, and slumped down at the kitchen table.

Julie sighed “So were you at your prom!”

“That was because I was on for Prom Queen.” Aubrey shrugged. At that Jake rolled his eyes, he couldn’t care less about all that Prom Queen shit. As far as he was concerned he had the best girl on his arm. At that point Rey’s eyes flicked to him and she gave a little smile “Well, don’t you scrub up fine?”

“Well Stella told me if I wore my soccer kit she’d kill me” he shrugged and Rey snorted before she frowned.

“Where are your glasses?”

“Contacts” Jake shrugged “Don’t wear ‘em often other than for sport but…”

“Huh.” Rey shrugged.

“Is that everything or you wanna know what colour boxer shorts I’m wearing?” Jake quipped “Can show you if you like?”

“Jacob!” Julie looked at her and he flashed her a cheeky grin.

“For your information they’re black” he winked and then raised his wrist to check his watch. It was getting a little later than he wanted it to be now, but at that point besides him Julie gave a little gasp and he raised his head to see Stella stood in the doorway to the kitchen. Jake felt his moth drop open as he looked at her. He’d seen her dressed up before but never like this. Her dress was a deep blue satin with a pleated skirt that finished just below her knee. It tapered in at the waist and the bodice was lace, high necked and sleeveless with flower applique. On her feet she wore a pair of cream coloured peep-toe pumps that were decorated with little crystals along the arch and her blond hair was pulled back off her face into an elegant knot. Those blue eyes Jake could happily lose himself in popped under a smoky brown eyeshadow and her cheeks were expertly rouged.

She looked like a modern Grace Kelly, absolutely fucking amazing.

“Hi.” He stuttered, stepping towards her.

“Hey Jakey.” She smiled, a little shyly and at that point her mum gave a cough and gestured to the door with her head. Rey rolled her eyes and stood up, following her out as Julie shut the door to give the two of them a bit of privacy.

“Stel you look stunning.” He smiled, dropping his lips to hers in a soft kiss and she beamed at him.

“You don’t look so bad yourself.”

Jake smiled, and then suddenly remembered the box on the side “Oh, here…” he took her hand and led her after him before he picked it up and opened the top. Stella peered inside and then looked up at him.

“Petunia.” she chuckled.

“Well I know they’re your favourites.” He said, gently taking it out surprised to see his hands were shaking. “Right or left.”

“Erm left.” She said after a short deliberation, holding her hand out for him. “Less chance of me banging it.” Jake smiled and gently slipped the pearl-effect beads over her manicured fingers so that the flowers sat on her delicate wrist and she looked at it, smiling. “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome babe.” He grinned and she leaned up to kiss him again. “So err, you wanna go. Your bag’s already in the car…and it’s almost 7 so…”

“Yeah, oh…Mom wanted a photo first. Your mom called her before demanding one so…”

Jake groaned “God she was crying when I left. Dad had to drag her back inside as she was waving the car away.”

Stella grinned “Well her baby’s all grown up.”

“Wouldn’t go that far.” He quipped and Stella shook her head with a laugh and headed for the door.

After Julie had gushed over the pair of them and taken what felt like enough photos to fill an entire album she pulled Stella into a hug and Jake stepped back, but not far enough as he still caught what Julie whispered to Stella.

“Your dad would be so proud of you sweetheart.”

“Mom.” Stella sniffed a little and Jake bowed his head, turning to look at Rey who was also surprisingly emotional. He flashed her a little wink and she smiled back as Stella turned to him.

“Ready?” he asked and she nodded. He took her hand and together they walked down the drive. He made sure he opened the car door for her, waiting till she adjusted her dress before shutting it and then hopped in the driver’s side.

Julie and Rey waved them off as he reversed onto the street before they pulled away.

“Oh, before I forget who did you have in the sweepstake for starting the first fight?” Jake asked as he turned left at the top of her street.

“Simon Rogers.” Stella said.

“Rogers?” Jake frowned, “Seriously?”

“Yup” she nodded “He might be small but he’s vicious. Plus Vinnie Foxborough has asked Jenny Marchant to be his date, and we all know she was dating Rogers like a month ago. It’s going off, I’m telling you.”

**** An hour or so after arriving, the Prom was in full swing. They’d done the usual posing for photos upon arrival and headed straight to grab a drink before navigating to the table their group of friends had already claimed. Stel had then headed off to go speak to a few of the girls from her hockey team whilst Jensen had stood with the captain of his soccer squad and a few of the other guys from the team. Eventually they’d worked their way back to one another as the announcements and general fuss started regarding Prom King and Queen. It came as no surprise to anyone who was named, Stacey Holbrook-popular girl number 1 and Will Brady- popular guy number 1. Jensen gave an exaggerated yawn as cheers rang out around the Sports Hall. Stella looked at him, arching an eyebrow as she sat in the chair next to him round their table, his arm slung casually over the back of her chair. He shrugged and grinned as he watched them both take to the stage, a hush fell over the room. Stacey began gushing into the mic, her words vaguely registered in Jensen’s mind as she squealed about how surprised and honoured she was…bla bla bla.

He wouldn’t have minded either, but in Jake’s eyes, she wasn’t a patch on the girl sat to his right. He moved his hand from the back of Stella’s chair, gently placing it round her shoulders and pulling her into him, pressing a kiss to her temple. She looked at him and he flashed her a wink as he reached for his soda. He took a loud gulp and sat back, and then before he could stop it a huge burp escaped his mouth. Jensen sat stock still as everyone in the hall turned in his direction, accusingly. Stella was sinking lower into her chair, trying to disappear but Jake sat up tall and spun round in his seat as if he too was searching for the culprit.

“Disgusting!” he called out loudly, shaking his head. “Whoever that was should be ashamed of themselves.”

A few titters broke out across the hall and he spotted his Football coach smirking at him as he turned back to look at Stella who had her hand slapped over her forehead.

“You’re a fucking nightmare.” She hissed at him.

“I couldn’t help it!” he whispered back. “Better out than in as my dad always says…” As it turns out that was just one of the 2 reasons Jake found himself having to talk his way out of trouble that night. The second however, Jake was pleased to report was Stella’s fault. He was stood talking a few guys from the soccer team when John Digby, their right-back and captain suddenly nudged Jake.

“What?” Jake asked, looking at him. John nodded over his shoulder and Jake turned to see Stella was in an angry exchange with the captain of the football team. A huge, hulking jock that played quarterback called Brad Kingsley.  He watched for a second, grinning as the huge guy seemed actually quite frightened of Stella who was jabbing him in his chest but then as he spotted Brad’s girlfriend stalking towards them he gave a groan. “Ahh shit. Be right back…”

“Good luck with that!” John shot after him as the team laughed “Your Misssus is fuckin’ scary…”

“Don’t I know it.” Jensen mumbled as he jogged over to where quite a crowd was gathering now, just in time to hear Stell call Brad a fucking asshole. “Hey, hey…” Jensen said gently, grabbing her arm. She turned to look at him and he instantly saw the problem. The front of her dress, over the chest area was soaked.

“He just spilt his drink all over me, and not even a fucking apology!” she seethed.

“It was an accident!” Brad said, his voice loud.

“Fuck you!” Stella snarled and Jensen took a deep breath.

“Stel, babes, come on…” he consoled her a little, and she took one final glare at Brad, before she looked at Jensen, wrenching her arm free and stalked away. He watched her go for a bit before he turned back to Brad, seeing the guy was now cracking his knuckles ominously. What he lacked in brains, which was quite a lot actually- the guy was thick as two short planks- he made up for in brawn and whilst Jensen was more than capable of holding his own in a fight, he really didn’t fancy his chances here. “Brad, look man, I don’t want any trouble…” “I can’t hit women.” Brad shrugged “But I can give you a smack for your girl’s mouth…”

“Come on…you know what they’re like.” Jensen shrugged “Plus its shark week so….hormones…” he smoothed out the bigger man’s jacket before both his hands rest on his upper biceps, slapping them gently before he let go. “She rides the red river and it turns her into a fucking ogre. You wouldn’t really wanna hold that against me would you bro?” “Suppose not.” Brad mumbled. “Cheers pal, I owe you.” Jensen slapped his back as he made a hasty retreat, letting the air out of his lungs as he walked.

Thankfully, the rest of the evening passed with little to no drama and Jensen actually found it to be quite enjoyable. For the first time it dawned on him that this, well this really did signal the end of high-school and in 3 months, just over 12 weeks or so, he and Stella would be off to Norwich to start the ROTC for 4 years. He was looking forward to it- living away from home, the fun of College life whilst training with the Army and most of all having his best friend and girl by his side. Buoyed by the sudden feel good factor, he dragged Stella off to dance with their friends and the pair of them grinned when about 4 songs in the opening bars of Journey “Don’t Stop Believing” hit their ears and everyone on the dance floor gave a loud shriek.

“Well what do you know, they’re playing our song.” Jake grinned as he pulled Stella towards him.

“It’s odds on they’d play this.” She rolled her eyes, grinning as he began to sing in a stupid voice, twirling her around. She watched him as he ran through his usual dance moves to the song…pointing at everyone when he sang the word strangers, arching his hand upwards a little over his head like a rainbow to the word boulevard. By the time the song hit its crescendo their entire group of friends had joined in and Stella shook her head at him as he gave her a wink.

“You’re an idiot…” she said as the song finished and morphed into something by the Backstreet Boys that Jensen couldn’t remember the name of.

“But I’m your idiot, doll.” He grinned and she gave a laugh cocking her head to one side, her arms sliding up round his neck.

“Yeah, yeah you are…”

At that point they were both shoved violently to the side, Jensen grabbing Stella to stop her falling. He spun round, immediately ready to give whoever it was a warning to be careful when his eyes fell on Simon Rogers and Vinnie Foxborough who were both going hell for leather in the middle of the floor, fists flying as people rushed into separate them. With a  groan Jensen turned to Stella who was stood there, the rest of their friends also hanging their heads as she held her hand out, palm up. “Pay up, losers!” she grinned, and Jake snorted as Sally, Ewan, Brady, Mackenzie and Danny all reached into their purses or wallets and slapped five bucks into her hand each. She looked at Jake and he frowned.

“I’m not paying you.” He shook his head.

“Stop being a whiney bitch JJ.” She grinned and he shook his head again.

“I’ll buy you a Big Mac meal on the way home instead.”

Stella looked at him, considering his offer before she grinned “You do know that’s gonna cost you more than five bucks, right?”

Jake shrugged “You’re worth it.”

“Gee, thanks” she snorted.

“What can I say, I’m a romantic…and speaking of which…” he moved closer to her, dropping his head down so his lips were by her ears. “Wanna get out of here? Mom and Dad are out tonight so we can have the place to ourselves for a few hours before they get home.”

Stella turned her head to look at him, and he noticed that her cheeks had flushed a little and she bit her lip shyly before she nodded.

“Yeah, ok.”

 Jake smiled, taking a deep breath before he pressed his lips to hers. They made their excuses to their friends, promising to catch up with them all soon and then the two of them made their way hand in hand off the floor, weaving in between people as they headed for the exit.

**** “I think my personal favourite bit was when you called the captain of the football team an asshole.” Jake said as he grabbed Stella’s bag from the trunk of his dad’s car “Good times.” “He deserved it.” She narrowed her eyes.

“And I supposed I deserved the punch he was going to give me for you being a mouthy brat.” Jensen looked at her as she shrugged, grinning.

“Yeah, how did you talk you way out of it anyway?” she asked, taking his hand as they walked down the drive towards the front door.

“Told him it was shark week.” Jake shrugged and Stella stopped dead.

“You did what?”

“You heard me, I blamed your little meltdown on hormones.”

“You are such an asshole!” Stella grit out through her teeth and Jake laughed, turning to face her.

"It was that or he punched me in the mouth, and let’s face it gorgeous, this-."  he waved his hand in a circle round his face, finger pointing towards it"-is too good to ruin"

She looked at him, shaking her head and snorting as he dropped a kiss to her cheek and opened the door. The house was dark and empty as he let Stella in first, where she dropped her shoes which she was carrying in her hand to the floor as Jake followed her into the hall, dumping her bag.

“You want a drink?” Jake asked and Stella turned to him, nodding.

“Yeah”

“A proper one?”

“Dur.”

Jake grinned and he led her down the hall and into the little den where his dad kept the good stuff.  He tossed his jacket over the back of the arm chair, shrugging off his waistcoat and depositing that in the same place. Rolling his shirt sleeves up to get more comfortable, he yanked open the liquor cabinet and blinked when he saw the post it stuck on the front of the bottle of vodka. It was his dad’s handwriting and with a snort he pulled it off and handed it to Stella.

“Don’t even think about it…” she read with a laugh “Fuck he knows us so well.”

“Like he never did it.” Jake grumbled, shoving the bottle back. He stood up and made his way through to the kitchen, yanking open the fridge “Oh come on dad!” he groaned as he saw another note stuck to the beer. He read it and gave a shrug “ok, so apparently this is fine…”

He pulled two out, popped the lids and handed one to Stella. She took a huge pull and let out a groan.

“Not being able to legally drink until 21 sucks “she grumbled, “I mean how can we be old enough to join the army but not consume alcohol?”

“Maybe we should move to Europe babe.” He said as they both dropped onto the sofa. Stella snorted and then sighed.

“We may end up doing.” She tapped her finger nails against the bottle “I mean, who knows where we’re gonna end up.” “Yeah, well we got years to think about that.” Jensen shrugged as he reached for the remote to turn the TV on but stopped abruptly as Stella grabbed his wrist.

“Seriously, the house is ours…and you brought me home early to watch TV?”

“No, I was…just…” he trailed off as she took the bottle off him, placed it on the table and then hitched her dress up slightly so she could straddle him. Jensen swallowed a little as her hands gently copped his face and she kissed him. For reasons which he couldn’t even place himself, because damned they’d done a lot more than simply make out, he was nervous and it showed clearly as Stella pulled back, frowning a little.

“What’s wrong?”

Jake looked at her, blinking in the dim light of the room and shook his head, jerking himself to his senses “Nothing, nothing at all.”

In a flash his lips were back on hers, his arms round her back as he held her close, his tongue snaking into her mouth, tanging with hers. As the kissing grew in intensity, he could feel himself growing aroused and clearly Stel could do as she rotated her hips slightly, grinding down against him and he gave a hiss. His hands moved to the side of her thighs, pushing up her skirt even further, fingers trailing against her skin and she moaned as he gripped her ass, giving a little squeeze. With an easy movement, Jake stood and turned them so she was under him on the couch. His lips moved to her jaw and he trailed hot kisses down her neck to the top of her dress, focussing on that spot on her neck he’d found the first time they’d made out, enjoying the little whimpers she made right by his ear. His hands crept back up her skirt, settling on her hips as her arms wrapped around him, dancing over the top of his shirt. His lips moved back to her mouth and he kissed her again, pushing down against her and Stella gave a soft keen of delight at the contact.  

“Fuck, I love you Stel.” He muttered against her mouth.

“Love you too Jakey.” Her voice was punctuated by a gasp and he pulled back to look at her, her eyes shining.

“Stel, I know…I haven’t asked you if you wanna…you know…” he stumbled over his words and she smiled softly, and cut him off.

“I do.”  She assured him before she pushed her head upwards, lips crashing onto his and her hands grabbed the hem of his shirt, pulling it free of his pants. His back muscles twitched as her hands danced over his skin, the sensation of her gently dragging her nails across the base of his spine sent a spike of desire, like a red hot poker through his entire body and he let out a groan.

“Can we go upstairs?” he asked softly.

“Yeah…” she nodded.

Wordlessly he stood up, shifting his pants slightly which were fucking uncomfortable thanks to his now painful erection and grabbing their beers in one hand, he held his other out and pulled her to her feet. He led her out into the hall, up the stairs and across the landing into his room, kicking the door shut with his foot.

He flicked on the lamp on his nightstand, his eyes glancing at the photo of the two of them taken after one of his soccer matches where his cheeks were red and his face was sweaty from the exertion of the game. He loved that snap, it was the final match of the season where they had won the league and the day he’d first told her he’d loved her. Her face had lit up as she’d whispered it back to him, before he’d made it past second base that evening on the chair in a dark corner of the garden, their families milling around elsewhere, completely oblivious.

He set the bottles of beer down and turned to look back at her. She was stood, watching him, biting her lip out of nervous anticipation and suddenly a wave apprehension crashed over him as he started to realise that this was going to happen. The thought of losing his virginity to Stel had never worried him before, hell, they’d done pretty much everything else bar hit the home run to so speak, but for some reason now it seemed like a big deal. He swallowed a little, his mind flicking back to the conversation he’d had with his sister a few days ago. Whilst he and his dad were close- condom conversation proving that- there were something he just didn’t want to ask his old man about, and how to make Stel feel good when he popped her cherry so to speak was one of them. So he’d approached Jane, who for once hadn’t ripped him to shit. She’d told him the first time was gonna be awkward as hell, so he needed to be gentle, get her off in some way before he poked her (Jane’s words, not his) and most importantly he had to make sure she was ready to do it.

Licking his lips he walked back towards her and she stepped closer to him, her eyes locking onto his as his hands fell to her hips and he kissed her again, before his fingers skated up the back of her dress and he found the zipper. With a deep breath, Jensen slid the zipper down her dress causing it to fall forward slightly and he got a glimpse of her breasts, which he had yet to actually see come to think of it, and here they were, clad in a lacy, strapless black bra. He held onto his shoulders and he glanced down, watching her as she stepped out of it, kicking it to the side.

“God you’re beautiful.” He stuttered out and Stella giggled nervously before he kissed her again and pivoted them so he could lay her out on her back on his bed. He crawled up next to her, laying on his side as she tipped her head and he kissed her again, his right hand sliding up and cupping her breast over her bra. Stella arched her back a little and Jensen’s groan caught in his throat as he slid his hand down her bare stomach and gently slipped it into her panties, over her soft curls and felt her slick against his fingers. He started to play with her, the way he’d found out she’d liked and his face watched hers intently as she bit her lip, her eyes falling shut in pleasure. Before long her hips started to move against his hand and he gently moved his wrist, inserting 2 fingers inside her. Her body reacted the way he’d seen before and encouraged he continued his movements. Her hand moved up to grab at his hair, pulling him down to kiss him and before long she was crying out, her hand wrapping around his wrist as her walls fluttered around his fingers as she came.

Jensen was actively now trying not to blow his load in his pants as he watched his girl ride out her orgasm. His eyes squinted slightly as he pressed his forehead to hers, the sticky fingers from her core resting on her hip. After a moment or two that same hand moved up her side and under her back, his eyes closed as he reached her bra.

His fingers paused on the clasp and he looked at her, remembering his sisters words and he kissed her again, his head pressing against hers.

“Please tell me you want this” he said, his voice a nervous plea.

“Yeah, yeah I do…” she nodded.

“Good, me too…ok...that’s good” he smiled against her lips as his fingers moved to her clasp. He’d read there was a technique to flicking it open with a snap of your thumb and finger, but right now that really wasn’t’ happening. Shifting slightly he slid his other arm underneath her as she moved her shoulders slightly to allow him to get both hands on it, but he was still struggling, his fingers slipping against the clasp.

“Stell.” He whispered and she looked at him.

“What?”

“I'm nervous” he lightly chuckled. She smiled, and bit her lip.

“Me too.” She sat up, “Here…” her arms moved behind her and she undid her bra, tossing it to the side as it fell forward. Jake watched, his throat bobbing as he swallowed, giving an involuntary gasp almost as he saw her bare breasts for the first time.

Her fingers gently undid the buttons on his shirt, pushing it over his shoulders and Jensen gently slid down, taking her lace panties with him before he stood up, dispensing of the rest of his clothes, his eyes roving over her bare form as she lay on the bed, watching him. Fuck, the sight of her laying there completely naked was sending him into overdrive so as quickly as he could he moved and reached into the drawer on his night stand for the box of condoms he’d bought especially. His fingers slipped a little as he tore the foil packet open, his hand shaking as he knelt on the bed between her legs, rolling it down over his shaft. It was awkward, and he was starting to get a little bit het up when Stella put a hand over his and he glanced up at her knowing full well she could read him, she always could. She guided his hand down and once he was sheathed he moved, his hands either side of her shoulders as he positioned himself.

With as gently a movement as he could, he worked his way gently into her letting out a loud groan, and her breath hitched a little. The sensation of being buried in her for the first time washed over him, her tight warmth hugging his cock and his arms gave way causing him to drop to his elbows. Luckily he caught himself in time, and he shifted a little to support his weight on his forearms so he didn’t crush her.

“You ok?” she asked softly. Every muscle in his body was tense and she could clearly feel it as he lay over her.

“Yeah.” He panted. “You?” “I’m good…” there was a little pause and she placed her hand on the bottom of his back, applying a little pressure with her palm, almost as if she was trying to pull him towards her "Jakey, you gotta move, please baby..."

So he did. He started thrusting. Slowly at first, picking up the pace a little as he gained confidence. Her hands slipped up his back and came to rest as her arms hooked under his, palms flat on the back of his shoulders.

Jensen watched her carefully as he continued his movements, his eyes locked onto hers. She looked straight back at him as her body gently moved with each thrust he made. He leaned down to kiss her, and it's was a little sloppy because his brain and body were that awash with this absolute new sensation of pleasure that he was struggling to function or focus on much at the moment. He broke the kiss, dropping his forehead to hers, his mouth slack as the heat tightened in his belly and he knew it wasn’t going to be long before he came.

"Stel, I'm not...I'm not gonna..." he started to explain, almost apologies even but she cut him off.

"It's ok,..." she nudged his nose with hers "Let me see you..."

He raised his head and she looked straight at him, and with a few more little thrusts he was gone, tipping over the edge with a little grunt and a cry of her name. As the surge of pleasure washed over him he pitched forward, burying his face into her neck, breathing deeply as the world span around him, the blood pounding in his ears was almost deafening.

Stella’s hands gently slid up his back, scratching at that spot on the nape of his neck, softly tangling in his hair.

"You ok, did I hurt you?" he asked, tilting his head to look at her.

"You'd never hurt me Jake."

“You’d never hurt me Jake…”

Those words echoed round Jensen’s brain and with a groan he rolled onto his back as sleep persistently evaded him. That was one trip down memory lane he hadn’t needed, more so because the words were fucking bullshit. He had hurt her, the one thing he'd always sworn never to do. That night, their first time had been perfect, and whilst it had been awkward as hell and he’d lasted all of 5 minutes, it had been special because they’d loved one another.

Jensen turned his head to see Britney, the dark haired friend of the nurse he’d met in the bar the other night sleeping, next to him and he lay back with his eyes fixed on a spot on the ceiling. Seeing Stella before had riled him enough to call the woman and pick her up from work after her shift ended at midnight. A bottle of wine and few shots of tequila later their clothes had ended up strewn all over his apartment and, well, here she was, fast asleep next to him.

It hadn’t been a bad fuck. Jensen had the impression Britney was after a release as much as he had been and it had shown, neither of them wasting any time on foreplay. But as he lay there he was kind of ashamed to admit he missed the cuddling that Stella would always seek out after.

With another sigh he hauled himself out of bed, located his boxers and headed to his kitchen for some water. He drained a glass before grabbing a packet of advil, tossing 2 down and then draining another glass before he wandered back into the bedroom, dropping back down next to his sleeping guest. He turned himself onto his side, his back facing her and closed his eyes willing sleep to come for him.

****

Not wanting to be a total Douchebag, Jake at least made Britney some breakfast the next morning before he told her he really needed to get ready to work. She smiled at him, understanding totally she was being dismissed and hopped off the stool by the breakfast bar, locating her clothing. He watched her go, noticing the way her hips swayed underneath his t-shirt was nothing like as arousing as how Stella’s did, before he dropped the dishes into the sink shaking his head.

Once she was ready, Jake opened the door to the landing and she turned to face him. “Look, I know this was probably a one- time thing but…”

At that point Stella’s door opened and Jake’s eyes flicked to her over Britney’s shoulder as she stopped dead and looked at him, then the woman in front of him, before she gave a snort and a shake of her head, turning to lock her door. Jensen felt that stupid, child inside him stir and he turned to Britney shaking his head.

“No, that’s…” he said, stopping her, his voice loud enough to carry across the landing “I’d like to take you out. Do it properly next time?”

“Really?” Britney almost squealed and threw her arms round him. “That’s…yeah, I’d love that Jensen.”

“Great, I’ll call.” He smiled, leaning down to give her a peck on the lips. She pulled back, pinched his cheek and then headed for the elevator

“Didn’t know Mc Donald’s dealt in brunettes.” Stella said dryly, arching an eyebrow.

Jensen shrugged and grinned “Let’s just say it was a different kinda drive through…”

Stella wrinkled her nose “That’s gross.”

Jensen snorted, and watched as she moved towards the elevator before she stopped and instead turned towards the stairs. He watched her go, and no sooner had the stairway door shut the elevator arrived.

“Bye!” Britney called, blowing him a kiss. Jensen smiled and then turned back into his apartment, shutting the door behind him, banging his head back against the wood. What the fuck had he just done? Something that was meant as a quick bang one night had suddenly morphed into him taking the girl on a date?

Could always just change your number?

No point…she knows where you live.

Move apartments?

Little dramatic, all things considered don’t you think?

Maybe you should give the girl a chance? I mean, after all, Stella’s taken one on Agent Dick Name…

Yeah. That was sensible, and she hadn’t been a bad lay after all.

With a decisive nod he pushed himself off the door and headed for the shower.

**** Chapter 4 Part 1

[what-is-your-plan-today]

Too Loose And You’ll Lose It...

Co-Written with @icanfeelastormbrewing​

Ch 3- Man, You Really Are As Dumb As You Look...

Part 2

Summary: Evan asks Stella on a date, Jake’s not impressed and the entire thing takes him on a little trip down memory lane…

Warnings: Bad Language words. SMUT via flashback in Part 2 (NSFW 18+)

Pairing: Jake Jensen x OFC Stella Stevenson.

A/N:  So the smut in this chapter is way back when the pair of them were kids. Both 18 before anyone says anything, and is designed to be a truthful reflection of a fist time! We hope you enjoy it because it certainly made us giggle a lot. Thanks Tumblr for eating the first post of this...

TLAYLI Masterlist // Main Masterlist 

Please read Part 1 first…

June 1999

Jensen parked his Dad’s ford on the drive at the side of Stella’s house and climbed out, the box containing her corsage which matched his boutonniere in his hand. Taking a deep breath he headed round the back of the house and into the kitchen, not bothering to knock as usual.

Stella’s mom was in the kitchen and she looked up at him, smiling.

“Oh my goodness, Jacob Calvin Jensen…you’ve always been a handsome young man but tonight…well, you look positively dapper!” he beamed.

“Thanks Jules.” Jake felt the heat in his cheeks as he blushed at her praise. “Is Stel ready?”

“She should be, she spent almost all afternoon locked in her room with Rey.”

“Oh, ok. Has she erm…got a bag for tonight?” Jake suddenly felt his mouth go dry, and he nervously scratched the back of his neck. What the fuck was wrong with him? Stella had stayed at his loads of times before and Jules had never batted an eyelid, hell he’d stayed here plenty too and not a word had been said. But now, he was suddenly feeling nervous. But as he looked at Stella’s mom she just smiled and stepped forward towards him. She reached out to straighten the grey and silver bow tie and looked at him.

“She’s special Jake, but you already know that.”

Ok so now he wanted the fucking ground to swallow him.

“Her bag’s in the hall.” Julie stepped back, patting the lapels of his jacket. Jake gave her another smile, set the box with Stella’s corsage down on the side and headed into the hall, taking the opportunity to escape for a moment as he took it to the car, slinging it into the trunk. He headed back inside and before he had to think of anything else to say to steer the conversation away from the fact that Jules knew full well he was planning on having sex with her daughter that night, he was saved by Aubrey who waltzed into the kitchen.

“God, she’s a nervous wreck.” Aubrey mumbled, “Being a right pain in the ass. I’ve done and redone her hair about fifty times.”

She grabbed a can of soda from the fridge, completely ignoring Jensen which was fine by him, and slumped down at the kitchen table.

Julie sighed “So were you at your prom!”

“That was because I was on for Prom Queen.” Aubrey shrugged. At that Jake rolled his eyes, he couldn’t care less about all that Prom Queen shit. As far as he was concerned he had the best girl on his arm. At that point Rey’s eyes flicked to him and she gave a little smile “Well, don’t you scrub up fine?”

“Well Stella told me if I wore my soccer kit she’d kill me” he shrugged and Rey snorted before she frowned.

“Where are your glasses?”

“Contacts” Jake shrugged “Don’t wear ‘em often other than for sport but…”

“Huh.” Rey shrugged.

“Is that everything or you wanna know what colour boxer shorts I’m wearing?” Jake quipped “Can show you if you like?”

“Jacob!” Julie looked at her and he flashed her a cheeky grin.

“For your information they’re black” he winked and then raised his wrist to check his watch. It was getting a little later than he wanted it to be now, but at that point besides him Julie gave a little gasp and he raised his head to see Stella stood in the doorway to the kitchen. Jake felt his moth drop open as he looked at her. He’d seen her dressed up before but never like this. Her dress was a deep blue satin with a pleated skirt that finished just below her knee. It tapered in at the waist and the bodice was lace, high necked and sleeveless with flower applique. On her feet she wore a pair of cream coloured peep-toe pumps that were decorated with little crystals along the arch and her blond hair was pulled back off her face into an elegant knot. Those blue eyes Jake could happily lose himself in popped under a smoky brown eyeshadow and her cheeks were expertly rouged.

She looked like a modern Grace Kelly, absolutely fucking amazing.

“Hi.” He stuttered, stepping towards her.

“Hey Jakey.” She smiled, a little shyly and at that point her mum gave a cough and gestured to the door with her head. Rey rolled her eyes and stood up, following her out as Julie shut the door to give the two of them a bit of privacy.

“Stel you look stunning.” He smiled, dropping his lips to hers in a soft kiss and she beamed at him.

“You don’t look so bad yourself.”

Jake smiled, and then suddenly remembered the box on the side “Oh, here…” he took her hand and led her after him before he picked it up and opened the top. Stella peered inside and then looked up at him.

“Petunia.” she chuckled.

“Well I know they’re your favourites.” He said, gently taking it out surprised to see his hands were shaking. “Right or left.”

“Erm left.” She said after a short deliberation, holding her hand out for him. “Less chance of me banging it.” Jake smiled and gently slipped the pearl-effect beads over her manicured fingers so that the flowers sat on her delicate wrist and she looked at it, smiling. “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome babe.” He grinned and she leaned up to kiss him again. “So err, you wanna go. Your bag’s already in the car…and it’s almost 7 so…”

“Yeah, oh…Mom wanted a photo first. Your mom called her before demanding one so…”

Jake groaned “God she was crying when I left. Dad had to drag her back inside as she was waving the car away.”

Stella grinned “Well her baby’s all grown up.”

“Wouldn’t go that far.” He quipped and Stella shook her head with a laugh and headed for the door.

After Julie had gushed over the pair of them and taken what felt like enough photos to fill an entire album she pulled Stella into a hug and Jake stepped back, but not far enough as he still caught what Julie whispered to Stella.

“Your dad would be so proud of you sweetheart.”

“Mom.” Stella sniffed a little and Jake bowed his head, turning to look at Rey who was also surprisingly emotional. He flashed her a little wink and she smiled back as Stella turned to him.

“Ready?” he asked and she nodded. He took her hand and together they walked down the drive. He made sure he opened the car door for her, waiting till she adjusted her dress before shutting it and then hopped in the driver’s side.

Julie and Rey waved them off as he reversed onto the street before they pulled away.

“Oh, before I forget who did you have in the sweepstake for starting the first fight?” Jake asked as he turned left at the top of her street.

“Simon Rogers.” Stella said.

“Rogers?” Jake frowned, “Seriously?”

“Yup” she nodded “He might be small but he’s vicious. Plus Vinnie Foxborough has asked Jenny Marchant to be his date, and we all know she was dating Rogers like a month ago. It’s going off, I’m telling you.”

**** An hour or so after arriving, the Prom was in full swing. They’d done the usual posing for photos upon arrival and headed straight to grab a drink before navigating to the table their group of friends had already claimed. Stel had then headed off to go speak to a few of the girls from her hockey team whilst Jensen had stood with the captain of his soccer squad and a few of the other guys from the team. Eventually they’d worked their way back to one another as the announcements and general fuss started regarding Prom King and Queen. It came as no surprise to anyone who was named, Stacey Holbrook-popular girl number 1 and Will Brady- popular guy number 1. Jensen gave an exaggerated yawn as cheers rang out around the Sports Hall. Stella looked at him, arching an eyebrow as she sat in the chair next to him round their table, his arm slung casually over the back of her chair. He shrugged and grinned as he watched them both take to the stage, a hush fell over the room. Stacey began gushing into the mic, her words vaguely registered in Jensen’s mind as she squealed about how surprised and honoured she was…bla bla bla.

He wouldn’t have minded either, but in Jake’s eyes, she wasn’t a patch on the girl sat to his right. He moved his hand from the back of Stella’s chair, gently placing it round her shoulders and pulling her into him, pressing a kiss to her temple. She looked at him and he flashed her a wink as he reached for his soda. He took a loud gulp and sat back, and then before he could stop it a huge burp escaped his mouth. Jensen sat stock still as everyone in the hall turned in his direction, accusingly. Stella was sinking lower into her chair, trying to disappear but Jake sat up tall and spun round in his seat as if he too was searching for the culprit.

“Disgusting!” he called out loudly, shaking his head. “Whoever that was should be ashamed of themselves.”

A few titters broke out across the hall and he spotted his Football coach smirking at him as he turned back to look at Stella who had her hand slapped over her forehead.

“You’re a fucking nightmare.” She hissed at him.

“I couldn’t help it!” he whispered back. “Better out than in as my dad always says…” As it turns out that was just one of the 2 reasons Jake found himself having to talk his way out of trouble that night. The second however, Jake was pleased to report was Stella’s fault. He was stood talking a few guys from the soccer team when John Digby, their right-back and captain suddenly nudged Jake.

“What?” Jake asked, looking at him. John nodded over his shoulder and Jake turned to see Stella was in an angry exchange with the captain of the football team. A huge, hulking jock that played quarterback called Brad Kingsley.  He watched for a second, grinning as the huge guy seemed actually quite frightened of Stella who was jabbing him in his chest but then as he spotted Brad’s girlfriend stalking towards them he gave a groan. “Ahh shit. Be right back…”

“Good luck with that!” John shot after him as the team laughed “Your Misssus is fuckin’ scary…”

“Don’t I know it.” Jensen mumbled as he jogged over to where quite a crowd was gathering now, just in time to hear Stell call Brad a fucking asshole. “Hey, hey…” Jensen said gently, grabbing her arm. She turned to look at him and he instantly saw the problem. The front of her dress, over the chest area was soaked.

“He just spilt his drink all over me, and not even a fucking apology!” she seethed.

“It was an accident!” Brad said, his voice loud.

“Fuck you!” Stella snarled and Jensen took a deep breath.

“Stel, babes, come on…” he consoled her a little, and she took one final glare at Brad, before she looked at Jensen, wrenching her arm free and stalked away. He watched her go for a bit before he turned back to Brad, seeing the guy was now cracking his knuckles ominously. What he lacked in brains, which was quite a lot actually- the guy was thick as two short planks- he made up for in brawn and whilst Jensen was more than capable of holding his own in a fight, he really didn’t fancy his chances here. “Brad, look man, I don’t want any trouble…” “I can’t hit women.” Brad shrugged “But I can give you a smack for your girl’s mouth…”

“Come on…you know what they’re like.” Jensen shrugged “Plus its shark week so….hormones…” he smoothed out the bigger man’s jacket before both his hands rest on his upper biceps, slapping them gently before he let go. “She rides the red river and it turns her into a fucking ogre. You wouldn’t really wanna hold that against me would you bro?”

“Suppose not.” Brad mumbled.

“Cheers pal, I owe you.” Jensen slapped his back as he made a hasty retreat, letting the air out of his lungs as he walked.

Thankfully, the rest of the evening passed with little to no drama and Jensen actually found it to be quite enjoyable. For the first time it dawned on him that this, well this really did signal the end of high-school and in 3 months, just over 12 weeks or so, he and Stella would be off to Norwich to start the ROTC for 4 years. He was looking forward to it- living away from home, the fun of College life whilst training with the Army and most of all having his best friend and girl by his side. Buoyed by the sudden feel good factor, he dragged Stella off to dance with their friends and the pair of them grinned when about 4 songs in the opening bars of Journey “Don’t Stop Believing” hit their ears and everyone on the dance floor gave a loud shriek.

“Well what do you know, they’re playing our song.” Jake grinned as he pulled Stella towards him.

“It’s odds on they’d play this.” She rolled her eyes, grinning as he began to sing in a stupid voice, twirling her around. She watched him as he ran through his usual dance moves to the song…pointing at everyone when he sang the word strangers, arching his hand upwards a little over his head like a rainbow to the word boulevard. By the time the song hit its crescendo their entire group of friends had joined in and Stella shook her head at him as he gave her a wink.

“You’re an idiot…” she said as the song finished and morphed into something by the Backstreet Boys that Jensen couldn’t remember the name of.

“But I’m your idiot, doll.” He grinned and she gave a laugh cocking her head to one side, her arms sliding up round his neck.

“Yeah, yeah you are…”

At that point they were both shoved violently to the side, Jensen grabbing Stella to stop her falling. He spun round, immediately ready to give whoever it was a warning to be careful when his eyes fell on Simon Rogers and Vinnie Foxborough who were both going hell for leather in the middle of the floor, fists flying as people rushed into separate them. With a  groan Jensen turned to Stella who was stood there, the rest of their friends also hanging their heads as she held her hand out, palm up. “Pay up, losers!” she grinned, and Jake snorted as Sally, Ewan, Brady, Mackenzie and Danny all reached into their purses or wallets and slapped five bucks into her hand each. She looked at Jake and he frowned.

“I’m not paying you.” He shook his head.

“Stop being a whiney bitch JJ.” She grinned and he shook his head again.

“I’ll buy you a Big Mac meal on the way home instead.”

Stella looked at him, considering his offer before she grinned “You do know that’s gonna cost you more than five bucks, right?”

Jake shrugged “You’re worth it.”

“Gee, thanks” she snorted.

“What can I say, I’m a romantic…and speaking of which…” he moved closer to her, dropping his head down so his lips were by her ears. “Wanna get out of here? Mom and Dad are out tonight so we can have the place to ourselves for a few hours before they get home.”

Stella turned her head to look at him, and he noticed that her cheeks had flushed a little and she bit her lip shyly before she nodded.

“Yeah, ok.”

Jake smiled, taking a deep breath before he pressed his lips to hers. They made their excuses to their friends, promising to catch up with them all soon and then the two of them made their way hand in hand off the floor, weaving in between people as they headed for the exit.

**** “I think my personal favourite bit was when you called the captain of the football team an asshole.” Jake said as he grabbed Stella’s bag from the trunk of his dad’s car “Good times.” “He deserved it.” She narrowed her eyes.

“And I supposed I deserved the punch he was going to give me for you being a mouthy brat.” Jensen looked at her as she shrugged, grinning.

“Yeah, how did you talk you way out of it anyway?” she asked, taking his hand as they walked down the drive towards the front door.

“Told him it was shark week.” Jake shrugged and Stella stopped dead.

“You did what?”

“You heard me, I blamed your little meltdown on hormones.”

“You are such an asshole!” Stella grit out through her teeth and Jake laughed, turning to face her.

"It was that or he punched me in the mouth, and let’s face it gorgeous, this-."  he waved his hand in a circle round his face, finger pointing towards it"-is too good to ruin"

She looked at him, shaking her head and snorting as he dropped a kiss to her cheek and opened the door. The house was dark and empty as he let Stella in first, where she dropped her shoes which she was carrying in her hand to the floor as Jake followed her into the hall, dumping her bag.

“You want a drink?” Jake asked and Stella turned to him, nodding.

“Yeah”

“A proper one?”

“Dur.”

Jake grinned and he led her down the hall and into the little den where his dad kept the good stuff.  He tossed his jacket over the back of the arm chair, shrugging off his waistcoat and depositing that in the same place. Rolling his shirt sleeves up to get more comfortable, he yanked open the liquor cabinet and blinked when he saw the post it stuck on the front of the bottle of vodka. It was his dad’s handwriting and with a snort he pulled it off and handed it to Stella.

“Don’t even think about it…” she read with a laugh “Fuck he knows us so well.”

“Like he never did it.” Jake grumbled, shoving the bottle back. He stood up and made his way through to the kitchen, yanking open the fridge “Oh come on dad!” he groaned as he saw another note stuck to the beer. He read it and gave a shrug “ok, so apparently this is fine…”

He pulled two out, popped the lids and handed one to Stella. She took a huge pull and let out a groan.

“Not being able to legally drink until 21 sucks “she grumbled, “I mean how can we be old enough to join the army but not consume alcohol?”

“Maybe we should move to Europe babe.” He said as they both dropped onto the sofa. Stella snorted and then sighed.

“We may end up doing.” She tapped her finger nails against the bottle “I mean, who knows where we’re gonna end up.” “Yeah, well we got years to think about that.” Jensen shrugged as he reached for the remote to turn the TV on but stopped abruptly as Stella grabbed his wrist.

“Seriously, the house is ours…and you brought me home early to watch TV?”

“No, I was…just…” he trailed off as she took the bottle off him, placed it on the table and then hitched her dress up slightly so she could straddle him. Jensen swallowed a little as her hands gently copped his face and she kissed him. For reasons which he couldn’t even place himself, because damned they’d done a lot more than simply make out, he was nervous and it showed clearly as Stella pulled back, frowning a little.

“What’s wrong?”

Jake looked at her, blinking in the dim light of the room and shook his head, jerking himself to his senses “Nothing, nothing at all.”

In a flash his lips were back on hers, his arms round her back as he held her close, his tongue snaking into her mouth, tanging with hers. As the kissing grew in intensity, he could feel himself growing aroused and clearly Stel could do as she rotated her hips slightly, grinding down against him and he gave a hiss. His hands moved to the side of her thighs, pushing up her skirt even further, fingers trailing against her skin and she moaned as he gripped her ass, giving a little squeeze. With an easy movement, Jake stood and turned them so she was under him on the couch. His lips moved to her jaw and he trailed hot kisses down her neck to the top of her dress, focussing on that spot on her neck he’d found the first time they’d made out, enjoying the little whimpers she made right by his ear. His hands crept back up her skirt, settling on her hips as her arms wrapped around him, dancing over the top of his shirt. His lips moved back to her mouth and he kissed her again, pushing down against her and Stella gave a soft keen of delight at the contact.  

“Fuck, I love you Stel.” He muttered against her mouth.

“Love you too Jakey.” Her voice was punctuated by a gasp and he pulled back to look at her, her eyes shining.

“Stel, I know…I haven’t asked you if you wanna…you know…” he stumbled over his words and she smiled softly, and cut him off.

“I do.”  She assured him before she pushed her head upwards, lips crashing onto his and her hands grabbed the hem of his shirt, pulling it free of his pants. His back muscles twitched as her hands danced over his skin, the sensation of her gently dragging her nails across the base of his spine sent a spike of desire, like a red hot poker through his entire body and he let out a groan.

“Can we go upstairs?” he asked softly.

“Yeah…” she nodded.

Wordlessly he stood up, shifting his pants slightly which were fucking uncomfortable thanks to his now painful erection and grabbing their beers in one hand, he held his other out and pulled her to her feet. He led her out into the hall, up the stairs and across the landing into his room, kicking the door shut with his foot.

He flicked on the lamp on his nightstand, his eyes glancing at the photo of the two of them taken after one of his soccer matches where his cheeks were red and his face was sweaty from the exertion of the game. He loved that snap, it was the final match of the season where they had won the league and the day he’d first told her he’d loved her. Her face had lit up as she’d whispered it back to him, before he’d made it past second base that evening on the chair in a dark corner of the garden, their families milling around elsewhere, completely oblivious.

He set the bottles of beer down and turned to look back at her. She was stood, watching him, biting her lip out of nervous anticipation and suddenly a wave apprehension crashed over him as he started to realise that this was going to happen. The thought of losing his virginity to Stel had never worried him before, hell, they’d done pretty much everything else bar hit the home run to so speak, but for some reason now it seemed like a big deal. He swallowed a little, his mind flicking back to the conversation he’d had with his sister a few days ago. Whilst he and his dad were close- condom conversation proving that- there were something he just didn’t want to ask his old man about, and how to make Stel feel good when he popped her cherry so to speak was one of them. So he’d approached Jane, who for once hadn’t ripped him to shit. She’d told him the first time was gonna be awkward as hell, so he needed to be gentle, get her off in some way before he poked her (Jane’s words, not his) and most importantly he had to make sure she was ready to do it.

Licking his lips he walked back towards her and she stepped closer to him, her eyes locking onto his as his hands fell to her hips and he kissed her again, before his fingers skated up the back of her dress and he found the zipper. With a deep breath, Jensen slid the zipper down her dress causing it to fall forward slightly and he got a glimpse of her breasts, which he had yet to actually see come to think of it, and here they were, clad in a lacy, strapless black bra. He held onto his shoulders and he glanced down, watching her as she stepped out of it, kicking it to the side.

“God you’re beautiful.” He stuttered out and Stella giggled nervously before he kissed her again and pivoted them so he could lay her out on her back on his bed. He crawled up next to her, laying on his side as she tipped her head and he kissed her again, his right hand sliding up and cupping her breast over her bra. Stella arched her back a little and Jensen’s groan caught in his throat as he slid his hand down her bare stomach and gently slipped it into her panties, over her soft curls and felt her slick against his fingers. He started to play with her, the way he’d found out she’d liked and his face watched hers intently as she bit her lip, her eyes falling shut in pleasure. Before long her hips started to move against his hand and he gently moved his wrist, inserting 2 fingers inside her. Her body reacted the way he’d seen before and encouraged he continued his movements. Her hand moved up to grab at his hair, pulling him down to kiss him and before long she was crying out, her hand wrapping around his wrist as her walls fluttered around his fingers as she came.

Jensen was actively now trying not to blow his load in his pants as he watched his girl ride out her orgasm. His eyes squinted slightly as he pressed his forehead to hers, the sticky fingers from her core resting on her hip. After a moment or two that same hand moved up her side and under her back, his eyes closed as he reached her bra.

His fingers paused on the clasp and he looked at her, remembering his sisters words and he kissed her again, his head pressing against hers.

“Please tell me you want this” he said, his voice a nervous plea.

“Yeah, yeah I do…” she nodded.

“Good, me too…ok...that’s good” he smiled against her lips as his fingers moved to her clasp. He’d read there was a technique to flicking it open with a snap of your thumb and finger, but right now that really wasn’t’ happening. Shifting slightly he slid his other arm underneath her as she moved her shoulders slightly to allow him to get both hands on it, but he was still struggling, his fingers slipping against the clasp.

“Stell.” He whispered and she looked at him.

“What?”

“I'm nervous” he lightly chuckled. She smiled, and bit her lip.

“Me too.” She sat up, “Here…” her arms moved behind her and she undid her bra, tossing it to the side as it fell forward. Jake watched, his throat bobbing as he swallowed, giving an involuntary gasp almost as he saw her bare breasts for the first time.

Her fingers gently undid the buttons on his shirt, pushing it over his shoulders and Jensen gently slid down, taking her lace panties with him before he stood up, dispensing of the rest of his clothes, his eyes roving over her bare form as she lay on the bed, watching him. Fuck, the sight of her laying there completely naked was sending him into overdrive so as quickly as he could he moved and reached into the drawer on his night stand for the box of condoms he’d bought especially. His fingers slipped a little as he tore the foil packet open, his hand shaking as he knelt on the bed between her legs, rolling it down over his shaft. It was awkward, and he was starting to get a little bit het up when Stella put a hand over his and he glanced up at her knowing full well she could read him, she always could. She guided his hand down and once he was sheathed he moved, his hands either side of her shoulders as he positioned himself.

With as gently a movement as he could, he worked his way gently into her letting out a loud groan, and her breath hitched a little. The sensation of being buried in her for the first time washed over him, her tight warmth hugging his cock and his arms gave way causing him to drop to his elbows. Luckily he caught himself in time, and he shifted a little to support his weight on his forearms so he didn’t crush her.

“You ok?” she asked softly. Every muscle in his body was tense and she could clearly feel it as he lay over her.

“Yeah.” He panted. “You?” “I’m good…” there was a little pause and she placed her hand on the bottom of his back, applying a little pressure with her palm, almost as if she was trying to pull him towards her "Jakey, you gotta move, please baby..."

So he did. He started thrusting. Slowly at first, picking up the pace a little as he gained confidence. Her hands slipped up his back and came to rest as her arms hooked under his, palms flat on the back of his shoulders.

Jensen watched her carefully as he continued his movements, his eyes locked onto hers. She looked straight back at him as her body gently moved with each thrust he made. He leaned down to kiss her, and it's was a little sloppy because his brain and body were that awash with this absolute new sensation of pleasure that he was struggling to function or focus on much at the moment. He broke the kiss, dropping his forehead to hers, his mouth slack as the heat tightened in his belly and he knew it wasn’t going to be long before he came.

"Stel, I'm not...I'm not gonna..." he started to explain, almost apologies even but she cut him off.

"It's ok,..." she nudged his nose with hers "Let me see you..."

He raised his head and she looked straight at him, and with a few more little thrusts he was gone, tipping over the edge with a little grunt and a cry of her name. As the surge of pleasure washed over him he pitched forward, burying his face into her neck, breathing deeply as the world span around him, the blood pounding in his ears was almost deafening.

Stella’s hands gently slid up his back, scratching at that spot on the nape of his neck, softly tangling in his hair.

"You ok, did I hurt you?" he asked, tilting his head to look at her.

"You'd never hurt me Jake."

“You’d never hurt me Jake…”

Those words echoed round Jensen’s brain and with a groan he rolled onto his back as sleep persistently evaded him. That was one trip down memory lane he hadn’t needed, more so because the words were fucking bullshit. He had hurt her, the one thing he'd always sworn never to do. That night, their first time had been perfect, and whilst it had been awkward as hell and he’d lasted all of 5 minutes, it had been special because they’d loved one another.

Jensen turned his head to see Britney, the dark haired friend of the nurse he’d met in the bar the other night sleeping, next to him and he lay back with his eyes fixed on a spot on the ceiling. Seeing Stella before had riled him enough to call the woman and pick her up from work after her shift ended at midnight. A bottle of wine and few shots of tequila later their clothes had ended up strewn all over his apartment and, well, here she was, fast asleep next to him.

It hadn’t been a bad fuck. Jensen had the impression Britney was after a release as much as he had been and it had shown, neither of them wasting any time on foreplay. But as he lay there he was kind of ashamed to admit he missed the cuddling that Stella would always seek out after.

With another sigh he hauled himself out of bed, located his boxers and headed to his kitchen for some water. He drained a glass before grabbing a packet of advil, tossing 2 down and then draining another glass before he wandered back into the bedroom, dropping back down next to his sleeping guest. He turned himself onto his side, his back facing her and closed his eyes willing sleep to come for him.

****

Not wanting to be a total Douchebag, Jake at least made Britney some breakfast the next morning before he told her he really needed to get ready to work. She smiled at him, understanding totally she was being dismissed and hopped off the stool by the breakfast bar, locating her clothing. He watched her go, noticing the way her hips swayed underneath his t-shirt was nothing like as arousing as how Stella’s did, before he dropped the dishes into the sink shaking his head.

Once she was ready, Jake opened the door to the landing and she turned to face him. “Look, I know this was probably a one- time thing but…”

At that point Stella’s door opened and Jake’s eyes flicked to her over Britney’s shoulder as she stopped dead and looked at him, then the woman in front of him, before she gave a snort and a shake of her head, turning to lock her door. Jensen felt that stupid, child inside him stir and he turned to Britney shaking his head.

“No, that’s…” he said, stopping her, his voice loud enough to carry across the landing “I’d like to take you out. Do it properly next time?”

“Really?” Britney almost squealed and threw her arms round him. “That’s…yeah, I’d love that Jensen.”

“Great, I’ll call.” He smiled, leaning down to give her a peck on the lips. She pulled back, pinched his cheek and then headed for the elevator

“Didn’t know Mc Donald’s dealt in brunettes.” Stella said dryly, arching an eyebrow.

Jensen shrugged and grinned “Let’s just say it was a different kinda drive through…”

Stella wrinkled her nose “That’s gross.”

Jensen snorted, and watched as she moved towards the elevator before she stopped and instead turned towards the stairs. He watched her go, and no sooner had the stairway door shut the elevator arrived.

“Bye!” Britney called, blowing him a kiss. Jensen smiled and then turned back into his apartment, shutting the door behind him, banging his head back against the wood. What the fuck had he just done? Something that was meant as a quick bang one night had suddenly morphed into him taking the girl on a date?

Could always just change your number?

No point…she knows where you live.

Move apartments?

Little dramatic, all things considered don’t you think?

Maybe you should give the girl a chance? I mean, after all, Stella’s taken one on Agent Dick Name…

Yeah. That was sensible, and she hadn’t been a bad lay after all.

With a decisive nod he pushed himself off the door and headed for the shower.

[toukenramblings]

Video Games: Mutsunokami Yoshiyuki, Aizen Kunitoshi, Atsushi Toushirou

Oh ho, a fun lil headcanon set like this is so funnnn~!

Warnings: Not much I suppose?

Mutsunokami Yoshiyuki

Sweet MuMu adores video games where we can travel the world. Fantasy world, modern world, past, present, future, he don’t care! An open world game will suit him best! There’s so much to do, and like a lil puppy, MuMu want’s to explore it all!

Extra bonus points if there’s a part of the game where there is something to do with the ocean. He adores the sea after all! Boats, driving them, exploring the ocean, exploring the unknown, oh this TouDan will drink that shit up.

The games that come to mind are Assassin’s Creed: III, Black Flag, Syndicate, Origins, Odyssey, and Valhalla. Why? Most of them deal with exploring new lands and some of them deal with piloting ships! III, Black Flag, Odyssey, Origins, Valhalla to be more specific. Syndicate has guns and classy fashion. A little too much for Mutsunokami but he loves playing with the guns in the game - they are very similar in make to his own after all. he also rly likes the sea shanties in odyssey because i rly like them too

If Mutsunokami wants to relax and not play Assassin’s Creed where he goes around stabbing everything that moves, he will play Subnautica or Abzu or Journey to relax. Maybe even Animal Crossing! He loves the cute little animals but I personally think that games where he can just explore the world and meet new people and learn lore just make him happy the most.

Games MuMu would never play are horror games or anything with spiders in them. So Bayonetta and Devil May Cry are out. He loves the idea of gun-toting protagonists but nope, nope. Spiders? Bye fam.

Now that I think about it, he would just be Blathers. He can play Animal Crossing but Gods help him the minute he sees a spider in that damn game. “I THOUGHT THIS WAS A PEACEFUL GAME, WHY ARE THE SPIDERS TRYING TO KILL YOU” cue controller thrown at the television.

Oh MuMu adores party games! Can’t play Smash Bros or Mario Kart for shit. Watch him pay too much attention to the background and yeet himself off of the stage because he saw something shiny. He can kinda play though, but again he gets distracted the most. Buuut ask him to play Mario Party with the rest of the swords and damn right he will play!

Can and will make video games turn into a drinking game. MuMu adores competitive gaming with the rest of the citadel. Will start taking bets on who is gonna win and lose, and sure he may be a pouty loser but he’ll be fiine. But damn right he’ll yeet a tantou to ensure his win. No he won’t he’s not that cruel.

Mutsunokami also adores rhythm games! Taiko no Tatsujin because of Don-chan and the idea of playing with a lil taiko drum as a controller. He’s very much into music after all. There are times when he stops playing a game to just listen to the music and take it all in!

A guilty pleasure game he plays is probably Ghost of Tsushima. No he’s not checking out Jin’s ass whenever they go to a hot spring, what are you talking about? MuMu enjoys it because sometimes just going back to your roots and stabbing a ho is just what you need. dear khotun khan, eat shit

Aizen Kunitoshi

Aizen is also super big on rhythm games. As said above with Mutsunokami, Taiko no Tatsujin will be a favorite of his. He has a secret collection of Don-chan merch, no one is stopping him damn it. Just fucking tRY and take away his precious Don-chan(s). The only ones that can touch his prized collection are the rest of the Rai swords, other peeps he is close to, and maybe you if you two are close/you ask nicely. Get him some Don-chan pajamas and he’ll cry.

Aizen is also pretty good at fighting games, Street Fighter coming to mind because he adores over the top bullshit and the colors! The colors! He mains Ryu though, but he’s more than willing to try new characters!

He’s also pretty competitive at times, so he would adore playing fighting games with the rest of the swords at the citadel. Hotarumaru and he are always playing Smash Bros or Mario Kart, which ends up with a lot of broken controllers. Hotaru has been slightly banned from planning highly competitive gameplay though.

Other games that I know Aizen will be into will be Animal Crossing when he wants to relax. He loves the little yearly festivals and events in the games and it kinda mirrors how life works in the world. Of course he adores Digby and Isabelle, and has threatened Tom Nook with Hotarumaru before. “Don’t you cheat me you stupid tanuki, don’t make me get my brother in here.”

Games that Aizen cannot play are puzzle games. He doesn’t mind them, he just finds them really boring. He watches Akashi play them sometimes but even then, Akashi will conk the hell out. If you play them and have Aizen on your lap watching, Aizen will be amazed at how you are so good at them!

Aizen cannot deal with horror games or sad emotional games. He’s pretty emotional himself and will need a lot of hugs after. He will refuse to play Brothers: A Tale of Two Sons as they remind him of Hotarumaru and himself a lil too much. Horror games is because he’s too scared to. Hotarumaru doesn’t mind them, he likes playing them while Aizen and Akashi cling on to each other and scream in terror.

Aizen also loves games that not only have great music but the visuals and colors just catch his eye. Katamari Damacy comes to mind and he loves the main character a lot. The music! The colors! Ohh man its the best.

A guilty pleasure game he would love is the monster catching genre, Pokemon is an idea but he also loves Yokai Watch. Yokai Watch feels a lil more closer to home, plus Yokai Watch had a crossover with Taiko no Tatsujin! He immediately wasted no time and effort to try and recruit Don-chan. iM STILL TRYING TO GET DON-CHAN ON MY TEAM U LIL SHIt but also im rly biased towards yokai watch and digimon

This lil guy will also love collecting plushies of any characters of the games he plays! Don-chan is his first choice of course but catch him and Hotarumaru in a little cuddle puddle with 70 other plushies from various games!

Most of all, Aizen loves games where he can play with others! Friends, family, you! It doesn’t matter to him! He’ll drag you from your office to relax and just cheer anyone up with something fun! “Come play with me! You promised after all, master! I’ve found a rEALLY cool and fun game to play together with Hotaru!” bless him he’s trying his best

Atsushi Toushirou

Like Aizen, Atsushi will mostly enjoy multiplayer games because of his multitudes of brothers, younger and older. He’ll pick out games like Mario Party, Mario Kart, classics for sure. But then there’s games like Wario Ware or Smash Bros. He wants to play games with as many people as possible! He loves it when he can play with you and his brothers!

If Atsushi wants to play something more solo, he will play something along the lines of Cooking Mama. Houchou got him addicted to it gee i wonder why Houchou loves the game so much but Atsushi just loves the dishes that he can prepare and it almost feels like he can cook! He once tried to follow exactly what Cooking Mama did in the game for cooking once uh...it did not end up. But none the less, he loves the colors and the music of Cooking Mama!

He is also a big ol fan of life simulation games, Animal Crossing being his favorite. Again he and his siblings can all play together and the calm atmosphere almost lulls him to a peaceful sort of sleep that he adores the most. He loves the relaxing vibe and sometimes wishes to live there, wherever the hell these guys live.

Next to Yagen, I think Atsushi will lowkey adore horror games. Yagen does it just to get a rise out of the rest of his siblings and Atsushi is kind of the same. Sure Yagen finds the most gorey and atmospheric based horror to scare the crap outta his siblings, Atsushi will probably play the more jumpscare based horror games just to get a scare outta them too! What good is a horror game if you’re not scared as well??? Damn right he’ll wait until it’s night time to play these games!

Atsushi also does love RPG games! Star Ocean, Final Fantasy, Legend of Zelda, come to mind first. He just loves going on big adventures! Exploring new worlds, meeting new people, learning new things! Bonus points if the game has a really emotional story, catch him and his brothers crying about whatever happens on screen.

Atsushi has a secret fondness for rather childish games. Pokemon, Yokai Watch, so on and so forth. YEs he’s trying his best to be mature and stuff, supporting you his saniwa and all, but sometimes he just wants to be himself and have fun! He has a few mascot plushies from his brothers too, shhh.

Atsushi is also terrifyingly amazing at turn-based strategy games. Mario + Rabbids being a favorite because of the colors and overall fun atmosphere. Fire Emblem is a close second. He knows exactly how to keep his units and characters alive, what upgrades to give them, so on and so forth. “General! Come look at what I did in my game! Wouldn’t it be cool if we could also do something like this?!” he says that as Rabbid Luigi yeets himself off of normal Mario and soars through the air like a bird, landing gracefully without hurting himself. Atsushi no.

He’s the most likely of the TouDans to get into the indie gaming scene, looking at new and upcoming content creators to see what they make! He wants to support them as much as he can!

He’s also one of the more responsible of the TouDans in terms of games. Others will start buying them on a whim but Atsu knows there’s a budget to be had! He isn’t as money crunching as Hakata or anything but he knows his damn limits!

Another game genre he’s secretly into are visual novels. He loves the budding relationships between characters, romantic or not, he loves seeing where they end up! It’s like he’s growing with them!

[clrecrossing]

Art Contest

Setting up a big art contest for everyone in New Hope hasn’t been easy. Isabelle thankfully has lots of experience organizing events, and the community immediately started working together to figure out how we would run it. I, Isabelle, Digby, Blathers, and Tom Nook would work together to judge the pieces submitted. We posted announcements all over town so people would have time to prepare their pieces, and then on the 10th we cleared out the plaza and set up displays for everyone to put up their art.

Everyone was really excited. Merengue was shy about displaying her own art. O’Hare was more than happy to show off his own and brag about it to everyone who came by. Eventually everyone who entered the contest had put their piece up, and then they were free to roam and look at what everyone had done.

Everyone loved it. They talked with each other about the various pieces of art done. Merengue, Canberra, and Hazel had actually joined up to make treats for everyone to snack on as they looked around. The event was so lively. Everyone loved making the art and getting together to have fun together. Puddles’ idea was a huge success.

Eventually it came time for the judges to look around at the individual pieces.

First we came around to Rodeo and his display.

His drawing of a rocket heading to the moon on the surface of an unknown planet was beautiful. Rodeo shyly mumbled that he’d thought a lot about what would be good to enter. He loved space, and he thought that maybe something that captured the fantasy of a trip through it would be good. I agree that looking at it captures the feel of looking out on an alien world and setting out to explore.

Puddles had done an amazing painting of the sun rising over the ocean. Puddles said it wasn’t much. Looking at it though I have to say that it’s absolutely gorgeous, and beyond anything that I could create myself. It’s clear that this is where her passion really lies. She’s got a lot of talent. Isabelle asked her how she did it, and Puddles said she’d just seen it one morning and known that’s what she wanted to do for the contest.

Fang’s own submission was very simplistic. Looking at it gave me a rather odd feeling. What was it supposed to be? A portrait of some sort? But the inner drawing was simplistic as well, to the point of not seeming to be anything in particular. Fang explained to all of us that he’d wanted to capture the focus of looking at someone. I wonder if this drawing really does capture what he feels when he’s looking at someone else. If the portrait is supposed to be a stand in for almost anyone, the more simplistic inner drawing does make sense.

Merengue was very bashful about her own offering. It was a design she’d come up with for a cake. She admitted that sometimes she just sketched out designs for her pastries later, and hoped that we didn’t think too badly of her submission for being more of a sketch of a plan than actual art. We all assured her that it was fine. Tom Nook joked that a bribe of an actual slice of cake would be acceptable as well.

Hans’s own submission was as stylish and detailed as his own passion. He had picked a clock that he had picked up some time ago and decided to do a drawing of it. Hans admitted that he wasn’t very satisfied with it, as the drawing couldn’t capture the depth of the history of the clock. Blathers said he thought the detailing was rather fine.

Blather’s little sister Celeste was the next contestant. She was almost hopping with excitement to talk with the judges and show what she had created.

She had wanted to do a picture of the night sky with her favorite constellation. She loved Gemini and liked the idea of doing a piece of the twin constellation. Digby joked asking if she was trying to appeal to him and Isabelle with that. Celeste flustered some and admitted that she’d actually been thinking of herself and her brother, despite them not being twins. Blathers gave her a huge hug.

Pancetti revealed that she had come up with a design for a dress. It wasn’t something that was actually finished of course, as making such things wasn’t for someone like her. She did think that it rather fit the quaint rustic feel of New Hope. I have to agree that the design is rather nice, even if I don’t like how Pancetti worded her ideas for it.

Hans was super proud to show off his art of a bunch of fireworks. He explained in great detail his passion for color and standing out, and that fireworks represented him perfectly. What else could capture his style and flash? The chalk art was nice. I don’t think it was quite as flashy as O’Hare imagined it would end up though.

Croque’s submission was shockingly basic, just the kanji for “oneself”. He seemed quite proud of it and told us that it represented what he thinks everyone should strive for: being centered in one’s self. Its symbolism is nice. I guess I should have expected something simple with a lot of thought in it from Croque. He’s no artist, but he is a deep thinker.

Hazel’s submission was as colorful and crazy as she herself is. It was busy and had so much going on in it it was hard to keep track of. Hazel talked at a mile a minute about how much trouble she’d had trying to settle on one thing, before finally deciding that all of it would be fine to include. The more there was the better after all, right?

Canberra’s submission was a design idea of color she’d been working on. She told us that she’d been playing with shapes and how they interacted, and decided that something showing off colors layering over each other in interesting ways would be a good submission. Blathers Isabelle and Digby all seemed to agree with that at least, pouring over the art with a sharp intensity.

Last of all was Leif’s submission. It was very simple. You could tell that a lot of time and effort had gone into this flower. It wasn’t complex, but what there was had been carefully layered with color to show off. Leif told us that he had wanted to share something that made him happy. I had to give him a hug for that.

Now that we had looked at everything we had to actually judge it. Let me tell you, doing that was hard! Puddles was clearly by far the best artist in the group, but would it really be fair to judge by that standard? Our entire town is so diverse. Not everyone chooses to do art, but everyone has something they shines with. Leif’s love of gardening, Merengue’s treats and pastries, Hazel’s crafts, Hans’ collection of antiques. Tom Nook suggested that we judge by the heart of things instead.

Puddles was rewarded first place. She puts a lot of heart and love into her creations. She was almost in tears over winning and promised us all that she’d never forget us. There was a lot of congratulations and hugs from everyone. Puddles had come back especially for this event, and we knew we likely wouldn’t see her again for a long time.

Hans came in second place. Tom told Hans that he was impressed by his choice in what to create, and Blathers complimented Hans heavily on his detail. I told him he’d have to tell me the story behind the clock after.

Canberra came in third place for her piece. She was shocked by the win, like she’d been expecting someone else to come in and say that it should go to someone else instead. Everyone told her that they loved her colors. Even Pancetti said it, though Pancetti was clearly miffed by the fact that she hadn’t won despite her “clearly superior design”.

We kept things out for the rest of the day for everyone to browse before moving the submissions to a special exhibit in the museum for everyone in New Hope to be able to go to and see the pieces. Hopefully we’ll be able to run another art contest in the future. Everyone had so much fun.

Credit for creating Rodeo and Hazel’s art goes to dderidex from Discord

Credit for Puddles’ sunrise painting to @summerartist​ 

Credit for Merengue’s cake design goes to CatWithHumanHands from Discord

Credit for Hans’ antique clock drawing goes to Cessi from Discord

Credit for Celeste’s constellation art goes to emmy451 from Discord

Credit for Pancetti’s dress design to @gleefully-macabre​

Credit for Leif’s flower to @easydias​

[namjoonchronicles]

happy new year beautiful, i'm here to spread some love!!! in celebration of 2019 tag your 19 favorite blogs/mutuals 🎉

you did not just tell me to tag people I love, i have like a lot. Happy new year my sweets, may you be blessed with good health, enormous wealth, graduate, get a job, give yourself a gift (me), sleep better, eat better (pls i cannot stress on this enough!), get you a spa day by yourself, and just treat yourself… start the year with a de-stress, we have 364 days to go… 

here’s my favourite people who run such magnificent blogs and people I have to talk to, on regular basis like taking my non-existent anti-depression pills:

@namjoonslion​ you knew you’re gonna get tagged, abby don’t even try to deny, and I probably never tell you how much you meant to me a lot, but I really do appreciate you, I love the spirits you have and our overall nothing-can-go-wrong VS but-it-might contra is something I hold dearly and I’m not sure why it worked out this long. We’re like Sadness & Joy pair in Disney Pixar’s Inside Out. And that’s just so cute now that I think of it. You walked into my life one day, and it’s like the sun came out. I feel like you’d give the best hug because you’re tol and I’m smol@magical-warlock​ my pisces, demi darling whom I love and rarely talk to nowadays, you always know how to cheer me up with some random ass text post of cute sayings and marvel things and I’m just wanting to catapult myself to Holland every time you send me a picture of your town. It’s honestly the best town that fits me. I would walk days with you and talk and hold hands, sigh. We shared a lot of stories together, and I feel like we’re both undergoing something very tough, I always know you have my back and you’ll have mine. Being associated to you is the best things that happened in my years in Tumblr and I truly mean it when I say I care about you.

@minseoltanggi​ baby fish! bat, you are by far the closest one to me of all my tumblr friends because we live in the same country and you’ve seen my face before. You are adorable af and I hope you don’t be scared of turning 15 soon, it’s an experience, you have to embrace it as you go and don’t worry too much. You are a smart little girl and have many potentials, so don’t let your fears shackle you down to earth because I want to see you be that Astronomy expert you wanted to become! And if you changed your mind mid-way that’s fine, too. I’m sorry that I can’t get on tumblr as often as I’d like and message you. I do hope your blankets are warm and your pillows are soft, every night. 

@luciddrugs​ same age dudette, Alexa! I know we’ve not been acquainted until the last few months of 2018 and dare I say, you’re by far the most passionate blossoming ARMY I have ever met. You desire to know and understand Hoseok is beyond me, like wow, you helped me see another side of Hoseok and that’s something not many people could have done, and I sort of understand when you spazzed about him not getting a lot of attention, because TRUE DAT. I mean look at my man Namjoon, these two gets push back along with Jin sometimes and it saddens me. having another hyungline stan is ultimately a blessing, like, thank you for SCREAMING HOW MUCH YOU LOVE HOBI BECAUSE GURL YASSSSSSS… /two idiots screaming in the middles of the sea–flashbacks lmao)

@fangirlaholicxx​ Divvie. My other gun. My right-hand women. If yall read my writings i can’t say crappy anymore because that would be an insult to Div’s work  its her you should thank, my writings starting from Catching Fire, was proof read by her. And if I don’t get Div squealing, don’t bet I’ll release any of the fics. She’s my fuel, my gasoline, she keeps me going, and is my personal cheerleader. She makes great moodboards and it’s a matter of time until she ripens to her full form and bless us with her endless creative tendencies, just watch. I love her…so much. I don’t think she knows that. Thanks for catching me when I fall. /seals love letter with a heart wax/

@submissive-bangtan​ caro, caro, CARO! I love your brain and the intricate words you use. You know a whole world I didn’t know about and it’s because of you I’ve learned new things. You’re always so generous with your knowledge and following you was the best thing I’ve ever done? Like I came as a sub bts enthusiast (a dying clan) and pledge loyalty, but you gave me a Pandora box of tricks and passion. I think you’re super cool and I’m always so shy to make first move, so when you answered my tags, it makes my heart bloom? Can someone have that much power? Germans, I tell you…sigh.

@yourladyhobi18​ Luisa 💞🌹 we never actually spoke but endlessly tagging each other on posts of our knights and saviours, sometimes without context and we do it like it’s the most natural thing in the world and honestly I desired this kind of connection for the longest time, and I never knew I needed it until you came. I guess this is how two shy people become friends lmao.

@majestikblue​ you are a very mysterious one. You come unexpected and return when you desired. You always sends the nicest text out of nowhere and I’m always smiling when I see your texts?? Like how do you always know me going through tough times, did you put a camera on me?? Should I be staring at the corners so you could see me kiss you or what? I don’t even catch your name, and I don’t think I’ve ever asked…what kind of friendship is this, Anissa? I just want to say I appreciate you and your existence, please don’t ever change.

@lovethyfandoms2​ how could I forget you and Digby when you’re the first person to actually come and talk to me. I know you’re super busy at college now, and I wish you all the best. I hold the memories and conversations we had, close to my heart and will never forget them. Happy New Year, Josie. And it all began with a random ass link you accidently sent me haha, I remembered that lmao, I was so confused. Do all friendship began this weird though, I wonder haha! Josie, survive made it out 2018! Woo woo!

Nothing less important, in fact! Very important people that I cannot possibly forget ever, is my lovelies, whom I dearly appreciate and desire to protect forever and always, may this year bring you more positive hopes and help you dream, gives you something to smile for, and I have nothing else to offer but my stories and the comfort they bring, but should you feel the need to talk to me, come any time…

@rapmooni @tinyjjks @kai-tashi @monosgf @babybee05 @leesuzy09 @seokjins-epiphany @hobi-isadaydream @zynnami @verracotta @joonraw @seoulso @bloodyspell​ @8xxakiraxx8​ @therealredraven​ @ursulabtslover​ @triviamang​ 

I plan to make a separate post for this, and have more affectionate things to say, but if you’re not mentioned here, please don’t feel upset… I know most of you hide behind the comfort of an anon, and that’s okay. But If you’re reading this and felt like you are invincible? You’re not, I see you, I recognise you. And I appreciate every each and every one of you. I keep you in my thoughts when I see you reblog my writings and say nice things in the tags, and when you like my drunk depressive posts. I know you guys are wonderful people with good hearts. You’re the REAL reason why I began, continue and desire to write, I hope I’ll be able to do more in the future. I have so many more people to thank, and I’d personally shake each of your hands and give you a hug if I could and know your face. 

Thank you for seeing me, thank you for noticing me, thank you for listening to my stories. Thank you for a wholesome end of 2018 and here’s to a beautiful start in 2019. 🥂 (i’m buying sodas and pizzas for us all) happy fucking new year babes

[ddagent]

Sneak Peek Sunday

Suggested by the amazing @sententiousandbellicose, I present Sneak Peek Sunday. Every week I shall post a snippet from one of my WIPs, whether it’s yet to be finished or just waiting to be edited.

This is from a story called The Retreat. Fairly self explanatory: Bernie and Serena attend a team building retreat with the rest of AAU and are actually denied the opportunity to share a bed. Read the story so far, here:

Serena didn’t know why Hanssen thought that team building was necessary for AAU. They had been voted ‘Best Ward’ three years in a row, and had the lowest staff turnover in the hospital. After being presented with the brochure, Serena had tried to argue that AAU regularly held team building sessions in Albie’s after work. But Hanssen hadn’t bought it. So rather than getting in another round, AAU was packed off to a team building weekend in Kent. Trust falls, lengthy presentations, kayaking…the only benefit to the entire weekend was the blonde sitting beside her.

 Serena slipped one hand from the steering wheel to rest on Bernie’s knee, giving it a squeeze as she made the last turn of their journey. She was gifted by the sight of her co-lead’s fine pink blush in the side mirror. “Nearly there.”

 “Good, I’m knackered. Looking forward to a good kip.” Bernie leant back against the car seat, flipping through the brochure once more. “You know, there’s actually quite a few nice activities going on. Swimming, capture the flag. Even a quiz. Pity Jason couldn’t come with us.”

 “What about a wine tasting?”

 Bernie shook her head; blonde curls tumbling across the white oxford she wore. “Sorry, Serena. Unit Builders is actually a dry retreat. Not a drop in the place.”

 She would later blame her sharp brakes on the erratic driving of the car in front. But in reality it was the thought of a weekend away listening to overenthusiastic team builders without a single glass of Shiraz. “Well that’s just…fabulous.”

 “I’m sure you can survive seventy-two hours without a glass of wine, Serena Campbell.” Bernie smirked as she tossed the brochure on the back seat (and sadly not where it belonged – out the window). “Listen, this isn’t exactly my ideal weekend either. But surely there is something you’re looking forward to.”

 “Not that I can think of.” Bernie’s creeping hand up her thigh ruined the petulant frown she was cultivating. “Fine. I am looking forward to spending some time together just the two of us. We’ve been so busy lately, we’ve barely had a chance to talk about, you know-“

 “Us.”

 Serena nodded, smiling. “Yes, us. It’s overdue.”

 Six months overdue. The kiss they shared after Fletch’s stabbing had been a moment of weakness. Common sense giving way to attraction and pleasure. They’d danced around each other for weeks after that; neither one wanting to get too close lest they succumb. Bernie’s sabbatical to Kiev gave them both the time and space to repair their friendship. Both had expected things to return to normal once she returned. Neither had expected the soft kiss Serena had given her upon her return; nor the aching hug where Bernie had buried her head in the juncture of Serena’s neck. They didn’t talk, after. No awkward conversation over a glass of wine. They just danced to a different tune. Longer looks, firmer touches. Drunken snogs in the back of Bernie’s car. Both of them were just waiting for the other to be ready.

 Serena was ready. And she was tired of waiting

 Staring at Bernie, Serena realised this was a good a time as any to bring it up. “Just so you’re aware, Henrik was only able to get us three rooms at the retreat.”

 Bernie’s throat bobbed. “Really?”

 “Yes. Now, Fletch and Raf will of course have one room.”

 “Of course.”

 “And Morven’s a young woman; she doesn’t want to share with two old biddies.”

 Serena could see Bernie’s smirk in the corner of her eye. “Absolutely. So, I guess, that means we’ll have to share a room.”

 “A bed.” She risked taking her eyes off the road to meet Bernie’s gaze. “It’s a double bed, rather than two twins. But I think we’re grown up enough to share, don’t you?”

 Bernie’s moan was barely audible over the sound of Radio Four. But it stirred something inside Serena. She felt her stomach flutter at the thought of them sharing pillows, duvets; legs and arms tangled together. Out of blouses and scrubs and sensible hospital shoes. Into a silk nightgown Serena had packed specially for the trip. She wanted to see Bernie’s face when she left the bathroom. Wanted to feel Bernie’s hands on her as she slipped a strap over her shoulder; replacing it with her mouth. This trip could have been a disaster. But the prospect of waking up beside the woman she had fallen in love with was her only salvation.

 “So,” Bernie started. “Are we there yet?”

 Serena chuckled, reaching over to squeeze Bernie’s thigh. “Nearly there, darling, nearly there.”

 The Unit Builders retreat soon came into view. A two storey building with ensuite rooms and a lake out back. Teams from offices, schools, and other hospitals were in the car park; all dragging out cases and about ninety percent looking like they wanted to be in the pub a half mile back. Serena parked the car, beaming as Bernie came around the other side and opened her door. She resisted the urge to take Bernie’s hand (‘I’m not that feeble’), and softly chastised her for taking her bag (‘Think of your back, Bernie!’). She did, however, allow a brief spot of hand holding before they caught sight of Fletch and Raf.

 “There’s trouble.”

 “Afternoon Ms Campbell, Major.” Fletch gave a mock salute before handing them both keys. “We had to drop the kids off at Sacha and Essie’s early, so we’ve been here ages. Pub down the road does not serve Shiraz, however it does serve a nice pint of bitter. We’ve also checked everyone in. We’re in 202. Bernie you’re in 204. Ms Campbell you’re in 206 with Morven.”

 Bernie cleared her throat. “It’s alright; I don’t mind sharing with Serena.”

 “Actually, Bernie, we were thinking bout your back. These beds can be notoriously hard at the best of times; figured you might want a room to yourself,” Raf explained.

 “You make me sound like some sort of invalid!” Bernie huffed. “You know I intend to be team leader at Capture the Flag tomorrow, don’t you?”

 “We know! But you’ll be in no fit state if your back is playing up.” Raf and Fletch shared a grin. “C’mon, Major, we take care of each other on AAU. Let us take care of you for once.”

 There was no arguing with that. Serena could see the look in her eye that usually meant she was reminiscing about camouflage and the desert. Her team were showing excellent teamwork skills. She should be thrilled about that. What she wasn’t thrilled about was having to share a bed with Morven when she could easily be lying beside Bernie. Still, maybe this meant that she would enjoy the retreat after all; sans Shiraz and Wolfe. Maybe.

 Maybe not.

 Serena didn’t know what she had done to Henrik Hanssen but she must have murdered his entire family in a previous life. How else could she account for Gary and Becky, their ‘Dream Team’ architects? Or their first exercise leading her to hug Bernie for a full sixty seconds with no pay off later in the evening? To say nothing of ‘Aspiration Station’ where ‘to make passionate love to my co-lead’ was not an acceptable workplace goal. By the time Gary and Becky sent them off to bed, Serena wanted to set fire to the whole damn place.

 “You know, Ms Campbell, I thought you’d be right in your element,” Morven said through a mouthful of toothpaste. “Team building; management skills. Your bread and butter!”

 Serena rolled her eyes. “I enjoy it when it’s not a complete waste of time and money. We are a perfectly functioning team. This whole weekend is a misuse of NHS resources.”

 She knew her tone was clipped; her words harsh. But she should be watching Bernie’s arse in skimpy shorts whilst she brushed her teeth free of cigarette smoke so they could kiss and kiss and kiss. She should be witness to Bernie rendered temporarily speechless by the nightgown she’d brought for sex rather than sleeping. They should be enjoying exploratory touches of hands and mouths. Serena should not have the duvet pulled up to her chin to gain some professional distance between her and her F2.

 At least Morven seemed to be having a good time. She was grinning as she left the bathroom. “Gosh this is just like the school trips I used to go on as a kid. Late night feasts and ghost stories. I’ve got some Pringles in my bag if you want some.”

 “I’m fine, thank you Doctor Digby,” Serena said; barely waiting until Morven had got under the covers before turning off the lights. “Sleep well.”

 “Night, Ms Campbell.”

 Morven turned on her side; the duvet turning with her. Serena counted nine lots of sixty before Morven’s breathing slowed, accompanied by a series of soft snores filling the room. Lucky girl. Serena could not even entertain the thought of sleep. So consumed was she by the thought of next door, of what she was doing. Was Bernie as frustrated as she was? At least she had a room to herself to relieve any tension.

 She supposed she could join her. Morven was fast asleep and the football talk from next door had quietened. She could slip out, knock on Bernie’s door. Spend the night and be back before Morven’s alarm went off. It was the perfect plan. Serena eased herself out from underneath the duvet; padding across the room. She gritted her teeth as she opened the door, body preparing to flinch at any noise. Serena sighed with relief when it opened silently and she quickly bounded into the hall. Three paces to her left and she was outside Bernie’s room. She rapped three times; praying the rest of the team didn’t hear it.

 It took all of fifteen seconds for Bernie to open the door. Another two to pull Serena across the threshold. “I’d hoped you’d come.”

 “Nothing would have stopped me.”

 Serena trailed her hands down Bernie’s arms; shivering underneath a threadbare RAMC t-shirt. Serena looked down at the greying boxers she wore; the lean legs that not even skinny jeans could do justice to. Her hair was tussled from her pillow and there were lines on her face. Serena followed them with her fingers; pressed her lips to Bernie’s in a flurry of kisses.

 They moved away from the door.  

[tebbyclinic11]

For Digby Stridiron, All Roads Lead Back to the Vi...

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For Digby Stridiron, All Roads Lead Back to the Vi...

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It’s a warm June night at the James Beard House in New York City and chef Digby Stridiron is playing soca music in the compact subterranean kitchen as cooks move around him putting final touches on a caviar dish with ackee, saltfish, and roti. This is a sold-out dinner celebrating the West Indian Chefs Alliance, showcasing some of the best chefs of the Caribbean.

Stridiron is saying hello to guests, giving hugs to people he remembers from last year’s dinner. Someone says “nice outfit” as she passes him on her way to the courtyard. While the other chefs in the kitchen are wearing white chef coats, starched, pressed, and embroidered with their names, Stridiron is wearing a dark blue mechanic’s shirt with a U.S. Virgin Islands flag patch—a golden eagle with outstretched wings—on the left breast pocket.

On the surface Stridiron looks the same as he did last year around this time, when he hosted the first W.I.C.A. dinner, save for the patch and a few more tattoos. But the past year has brought challenges and clarity that changed him and the way that he thinks about himself as a chef and a man; he’s more committed than ever to honoring Caribbean cuisine.

“Thanks,” he says to her over the crowd, cracking a smile. “I’m over that traditional way of doing things.”

The day before the dinner, Stridiron surveyed the shelves at Essex Street Market in Manhattan, in camo shorts and a T-shirt, bleary-eyed from making a 12-hour drive from Charleston, South Carolina, where he picked up a heritage-breed pig from Holy City Hogs, a small heritage pork producer based in South Carolina. This last-minute shopping trip is for citrus and herbs to make the rum cocktails served at the dinner. “We’re serving rum drinks with each course,” he says excitedly. “The Japanese are proud of their sake and serve it with their food, so why not serve rum?”

Digby Stridiron, 35, is from St. Croix in the U.S. Virgin Islands, a territory of the United States. He ran the kitchen at Balter, a fine-dining restaurant, on the island until 2017 and was the U.S. Virgin Islands’ culinary ambassador, traveling the world promoting the islands and their cuisine.

Last year he started work as the opening chef at Parcel 32, a Charleston restaurant that would serve Caribbean-inspired dishes with local Southern ingredients. He had high hopes for the project: “I was constantly trying to refine my food,” he says. That meant taking sorrel—a tart drink made from Caribbean hibiscus—reducing it and adding sugar to make it more “familiar” and modern for diners. He made mofongo, the humble dish of crushed fried plantains, as smooth and creamy as possible instead of the rough mash typically found on the island. Stridiron had looked to places like Noma as a culinary weathervane of how his cooking should be, as if he had to “‘French’ things up” or mimic a European standard of dining and cuisine in order to be taken seriously.

Just as hype for the restaurant was building in September 2017, Hurricane Maria ripped through the region, destroying homes, downing power lines, and killing dozens of people. Stridiron, who was born and raised on the island and still has family there, felt helpless. “Me being up here when that storm was happening, I couldn’t focus, I wasn’t able to do anything. It killed me. I went gray over this.” Less than two months later his grandmother passed away and he started to rethink his career priorities. “Losing my grandmother was one of the moments that showed me that you have to make decisions that are right, and if it’s not right for you then it’s not meant for you.” A few months later, in March of 2018, Stridiron was fired from the Charleston project without warning before it opened. “It was embarrassing,” he says.

He went back to the Caribbean, traveling to Jamaica to try authentic jerk, to Trinidad to try doubles, to Barbados to try cou-cou and flying fish. “The most diverse culture in the world is my West Indian culture. Hands down,” he says. He no longer cared about awards or “refining” his dishes. “I took off my chef jacket, and you don’t have to call me a chef if you don’t want to,” he says. “Besides Jose [Enrique of Puerto Rico], there’s not much award recognition in the Caribbean, and it makes Caribbean chefs feel like they have to make our food something different, something more European, and it’s like, no, what we’re doing is already beautiful.”

“It hasn’t been the easiest year for Digby,” says Asha Gomez, chef-owner of Third Space, a culinary event studio in Atlanta. She and Stridiron met four years ago in Italy and have stayed close friends ever since. “I call Digby a crazy diamond,” she says with a smile when talking about Stridiron’s move from St. Croix to Charleston and his travels around the Caribbean. “The last year has probably been the most important of his life because it’s defined and shaped what he wants to do.”

Photo by Eric Vitale

Stridiron cooking at the James Beard House in June.

In May, a call took Digby back to St. Croix. Sommer Sibilly-Brown, founder of the Virgin Islands Good Food Coalition, asked him to cook for a dinner raising funds for four Crucian middle and high school children to travel to Barbados to learn about the food systems there as part of the Farm to School Initiative. Since he didn’t have to work at a restaurant at the time, he said yes. “I was scared.” Stridiron hadn’t seen the island since the storms. “When we flew in, there were a lot of blue roofs,” he remembers. Seeing the damaged homes still covered in tarps made him realize what he wanted to do next and where he needed to be. “When I think about the greatest moments of my career, they’re all when I’m back in St. Croix. I realized that everything I had been doing for the past year was about me, it wasn’t about my community. I was being selfish.”

“It was challenging to do that dinner,” Sibilly-Brown remembers. “After the hurricane it was really hard to source local ingredients but Digby always said, ‘don’t worry about it.’” A day before the event, the venue lost water and Sibilly-Brown had no choice but to reschedule the event for a later date causing 50% of the reservations to cancel. “Everything that could have broken his spirit, he took it in stride,” she remembers. “He kept saying to me, ‘little by little’ and that’s how we make change.”

Stridiron recently signed the lease on a space in St. Croix and aims to open his new restaurant, Braata, at the end of 2018. Braata will be the rum bar of his dreams, serving dishes rooted in traditional Caribbean ingredients and highlighting the influence of both African slaves who were brought to the island and the Taino people, or indigenous native Caribbeans. He is designing the space himself and creating a menu that will be 100% Caribbean. “If I want to make something with cassareep (a thick syrup made with cassava), I want you to taste the cassareep.” Indigenous tropical fruits like sugar apples and traditional pepper pots will also be a part of Braata’s menu. “This is our food. We don’t need to replicate someone else’s food. Our food is already great.” And he’s not interested in awards. “If me being in Virgin Islands means there’s not enough people to eat my food to nominate me for an award, then guess what? I’m still fucking golden.”

Now the chef is traveling between St. Croix, other Caribbean islands, and cities in the U.S., collaborating on pop-up events and making plans for his restaurant. “Digby finding his way back to the island is really full circle,” Gomez says. “He lives and breathes that place, and he’s so proud of the food and the culture.”

“Personally, I’m happy that I’m going to have a warrior next to me, someone who loves this island as much as I do,” says Sibilly-Brown, who hosts events in the U.S. Virgin Islands to promote local foodways and farmers. “It helps young Virgin Islanders see that they can do it too.”

“I accepted myself,” Stridiron says. “I’m not looking for anyone to say ‘Digby, you’re good’ or ‘Digby, your food is beautiful’ or ‘we see you’, I want my people to see me everyday.” It took a year of travelling but it feels good to be home, he says. “Before I’m a chef, I’m a Virgin Islander.”

Korsha Wilson is a writer and the host of the podcast A Hungry Society. She lives in New Jersey.

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