#dipaui

[thedipster]

MERRY CHRISTMAS AND HAPPY HANUKKAH! 

@heart-of-dunbroch @boointhenight @flippin--corduroy @mischievousmarvelousmagical-blog

[mischievousmarvelousmagical-blog]

Pivot! ~ [Dipaui]

@thedipster

So long, 420!

Hello, 402!

Somehow, the administration had fucked up the apartment Dipper and Maui had been living in the last two fuckin’ years and given it to someone else. Negatives? Their address was no longer 420. Positives? They both got their own rooms now! Which was hella, because Maui didn’t like sock-dooring Dipper, really, he didn’t, but sometimes, well--you had to do what you had to do.

But, now they’d get their own rooms! Except, they had to move all of their furniture down the hall.

Ugh.

“Dipper, turn the--turn to the left. No, the left! You gotta pivot--” Maui grunted a little, adjusting his grip on his end of this shitty futon. “Just turn it so it fits through the door, bro!”

[oh-heartlessman]

simane HOWELLE Jane and belle who still don't have a name lmao callambi sweet poetry ephyllion is that how U spell it uhhh SFS lymaui making waves howl/Simba for a curve ball dipaui faycliffe attina x rog akela x Eva lol Herc x Jane okay i think that is a enough

jesus h. mk

SIMANE

1. First impression: Oh thank goodness someone stopped to help me--2. Truth is: We would’ve been best mates in uni, i’m glad i found you now3. How old do you look:  25 4. Have you ever made me laugh: All the time!5. Have you ever made me mad: Yes--we butt heads, but never out of bad intention6. Best feature: Your smile! Oh gooddness, Simba, your smile,  your smile--your mouth in general, but your smile says so much more than you know it does (though you may know)7. Have I ever had a crush on you: perhaps briefly8. You’re my: best mate

HOWELLE

1. First impression: This bookshop girl is quiet. I will befriend her and make her my friend, yes.2. Truth is: I can’t imagine life without you3. How old do you look: 244. Have you ever made me laugh: Oh yes, all the time, with your lovely questions.5. Have you ever made me mad: I worry about you, is all. 6. Best feature: Curiosity! And your lovely eyes.7. Have I ever had a crush on you: An aesthetic attraction that has turned into a warm friendship.8. You’re my: Best friend.

Jane and Belle lol

1. First impression: Oh, she’s a very pretty girl isn’t she?2. Truth is: I feel like we are the same, but for opposite reasons--is that funny? Does that make sense?3. How old do you look: 24 4. Have you ever made me laugh: Maybe a little bit5. Have you ever made me mad:  Certainly in Hogwarts6. Best feature: Oh, everything, you’re just right out of a picture, aren’t you?7. Have I ever had a crush on you: No.8. You’re my: foil

CALLAMBI

1. First impression: IM SO SORRY I JUST BARRLEED STRAIGHT INTO YOU O H MY G OSh2. Truth is:  your story is going ot be a good one3. How old do you look: 10 lol jk4. Have you ever made me laugh: yes yes yes youre so funny!!!5. Have you ever made me mad:  yes : C the prom thing was weird6. Best feature: ur glasses!! i love glasses!!!7. Have I ever had a crush on you: maybe a liiillll bit but i think that was just the manifestation of my trying to be straight and also like having a close male friend for the first time in my life haha8. You’re my: BEST FRIEND

SWEET POETRY

1. First impression: did that dude just drink my--oh no2. Truth is: you’re the closest thing i have to a dad3. How old do you look: old lol4. Have you ever made me laugh: yeah!!5. Have you ever made me mad:  no6. Best feature: You have such a nice smile Dr. Sweet!! you need to smile more!! :D7. Have I ever had a crush on you: D : 8. You’re my: DAD kinda sorta 

Belle/callie i aint spelling that

1. First impression: Oh, Ive been waiting to meet her--her story is so much2. Truth is: You are more than you know.3. How old do you look: idk 204. Have you ever made me laugh: yeah!5. Have you ever made me mad:  nope!!6. Best feature: Your resilience7. Have I ever had a crush on you: nah8. You’re my: hero

SFS

1. First impression: that’s the boy mama wants me to sit with??2. Truth is: I do love you very much.3. How old do you look: 224. Have you ever made me laugh: Oui! 5. Have you ever made me mad: Oui--all the time. Mostly on purpose. It’s a game.6. Best feature: Your hands.7. Have I ever had a crush on you: Oui.8. You’re my: good friend, shoulder to cry on, lighthouse

LYMAUI

1. First impression: wow @ this fucker2. Truth is: You’re my closest friend and the only constant in my life right now.3. How old do you look: 124. Have you ever made me laugh: ...begrudgingly yes5. Have you ever made me mad: yes. you do it on purpose.6. Best feature: Hair.7. Have I ever had a crush on you: We slept together what more do you want?8. You’re my: Best friend

MAKING WAVES

1. First impression: I’m gonna shag that.2. Truth is: We need to work on your bedroom skills.3. How old do you look: 20 idk4. Have you ever made me laugh: yes5. Have you ever made me mad: no6. Best feature: Abs 7. Have I ever had a crush on you: lol sexually~~~8. You’re my: good shag

HOWL/SIMBA

1. First impression: What a wonderful bartender! You know he’s a good bartender because they’ve always got Sadness slipping around them like a shadow they cannot quite shake.2. Truth is: You need a hug. Come here. There there.3. How old do you look: 254. Have you ever made me laugh: Oh yes--what a charmer this one.5. Have you ever made me mad: Nah6. Best feature: What a beautiful body--I mean look at that.7. Have I ever had a crush on you: ; D8. You’re my: favorite Lyons

FAYECLIFFE

1. First impression: Oh look it’s Anita’s roommate---no wonder she was scared.2. Truth is: I miss what we had. All the awkward conversations when Anita and Paul left for the loo or we got there first. 3. How old do you look:  ancient jk4. Have you ever made me laugh: Yes, actually. ‘specially when I changed your phone wallpaper5. Have you ever made me mad: Yeah--you ditched my best mate. 6. Best feature: I’m legally not allowed to say.7. Have I ever had a crush on you: No lmao8. You’re my: best mate’s ex-girlfriend and girlfriend’s best-mate

ATTINA/ROG

1. First impression: Paul’s copying me with the redheads.2. Truth is:  I think you’re the opposite of Perdita in every way and that is what Paul needs.3. How old do you look: 25?? 4. Have you ever made me laugh: Yeah sure5. Have you ever made me mad:  Nah6. Best feature: Hair7. Have I ever had a crush on you: nope8. You’re my: best mate’s girlfriend

AKELA/EVA

1. First impression: This is a powerful Magick. We should be Allies.2. Truth is: You’re not so bad for a wolf3. How old do you look: 454. Have you ever made me laugh: No5. Have you ever made me mad:  No, you were surprisingly and refreshingly reasonable6. Best feature: Your human form7. Have I ever had a crush on you: Not my type, wolf8. You’re my: Ally

JANE HERC

1. First impression: Oh this fellow looks lost!2. Truth is:  I have not seen that Youtube video because I’m an old woman who doesnt use the internet3. How old do you look: 24? 4. Have you ever made me laugh: Yes! Quite charming5. Have you ever made me mad:  Nope6. Best feature: He’s got this...gosh I don’t know, this look in his eyes. Determined, I think. A warm darkness.7. Have I ever had a crush on you: Nope8. You’re my: fellow TA!

[simba-bonfamille-lyons]

getting revenge, ahem: simane, belle/jane, howelle, SNOW/eva, SFS, lymaui, making waves, dipaui (which i now realize i forget in my ask woops), callambi, sweet poetry, callie/urania, fayecliffe, atlanta, BAMBI/JAKE

SIMANE

1. First impression: aw look, another tourist!! i should help!2. Truth is: it scares me that you’re sick and i should spend more time with you because i really love you and you’re important to me.3. How old do you look: your age4. Have you ever made me laugh: oh definitely, your dry humor always gets me5. Have you ever made me mad: only in a friendly butt-heads way6. Best feature: your teeth, they’re so cute and charming7. Have I ever had a crush on you: eh maybe a lil one in the beginning8. You’re my: very dear friend

BELLE/JANE

1. First impression: she seems a bit quiet, like me2. Truth is: i’m awfully jealous of you, you’re everything i’m not3. How old do you look: your age4. Have you ever made me laugh: not in recent memory5. Have you ever made me mad: jealous, not mad6. Best feature: how well-traveled you are7. Have I ever had a crush on you: a jealousy-crush like man i wish i was that person8. You’re my: foil is a good word for it, yes

HOWELLE

1. First impression: oh, is this man...is he...flirting...oh..he stopped...wait...what?2. Truth is: you’re wonderfully and uniquely you, and i love you3. How old do you look: there is something in your eyes sometimes that makes me think you’re very old but of course you don’t look a day over 214. Have you ever made me laugh: oh, all the time, with delight and exasperation 5. Have you ever made me mad: scared, sad, worried--but not mad, tho yeah she was kinda pissy that he helped w the whole summoning cassandra thing6. Best feature: your uniqueness 7. Have I ever had a crush on you: maybe an infatuation with your personality8. You’re my: one of my best friends, family

SNOW QUEEN

1. First impression: there is something about this woman...2. Truth is: i wish we had more time, but you are so strong, you will make it3. How old do you look: timeless 4. Have you ever made me laugh: oh, all the time, my love5. Have you ever made me mad: just as often, my dear6. Best feature: your intelligence, your protectiveness, your sense of fashion and taste in art, your lips, your taste, your scent7. Have I ever had a crush on you: you were the true love of my very long life8. You’re my: true love, very best friend until my last breath

SFS

1. First impression: she is a better dancer than me, how dare2. Truth is: you confuse me and that’s terrifying3. How old do you look: your age, the same as you did when we were children4. Have you ever made me laugh: yes, bien sur5. Have you ever made me mad: oh, most assuredly6. Best feature: your wit, your nose, your style7. Have I ever had a crush on you: it’s complicated,8. You’re my: childhood friend

LYMAUI

1. First impression: damn hot AND mysterious2. Truth is: i know there are things you’re not telling me, but that’s okay, there are things im not telling you either3. How old do you look: you have an old soul but it’s okay bc you’re bangin4. Have you ever made me laugh: all the time, mostly at you5. Have you ever made me mad: annoyed but never like--pissed6. Best feature: your dimples, also your hair7. Have I ever had a crush on you: sure8. You’re my: best friend

MAKING WAVES

1. First impression: damn love the confidence2. Truth is: you intrigue me3. How old do you look: older than you are but i know you do it on purpose4. Have you ever made me laugh: yeah with your general disregard for everything5. Have you ever made me mad: nah6. Best feature: breasts, eyes7. Have I ever had a crush on you: sure, let’s bang8. You’re my: fuckbuddy

DIPAUI

1. First impression: omg what a dork2. Truth is: your intellect intimidates me--also i don’t really think you need a girlfriend it’s just how i show affection3. How old do you look: young tbh4. Have you ever made me laugh: mhm def both @ and w you5. Have you ever made me mad: nah6. Best feature: intelligence7. Have I ever had a crush on you: that’s gay8. You’re my: friend/roomie!!

CALLAMBI

1. First impression: wow omg she’s so energized2. Truth is: you worry me sometimes, i know you’re not okay3. How old do you look: wise beyond your years4. Have you ever made me laugh: yes, all the time5. Have you ever made me mad: not particularly6. Best feature: your loyalty, honesty, and trustworthiness. also you’re p cute i guess 7. Have I ever had a crush on you: nah8. You’re my: best friend

SWEET POETRY

1. First impression: there is something about this girl /squint2. Truth is: you worry me and how much i care about you kinda freaks me out tbh i dont get attached to people3. How old do you look: so young and smol must protect4. Have you ever made me laugh: yes you have a good sense of humor for a kid5. Have you ever made me mad: not yet but im sure it’ll happen6. Best feature: your passion8. You’re my: adopted daughter

CALLIE/URANIA

1. First impression: ah yes, the next calliope, hopefully she is more worthy than the last2. Truth is: i did love you as much as i could3. How old do you look: so young, so old4. Have you ever made me laugh: on the occasion 5. Have you ever made me mad: not as much as others6. Best feature: your power8. You’re my: ward, niece, fellow muse

FAYECLIFFE

1. First impression: this is roger? (read in whatever voice u want it’s going to be correct.)2. Truth is: i wish we were closer, i admire your easy going attitude and your fierce loyalty3. How old do you look: OLD4. Have you ever made me laugh: admittedly, yes5. Have you ever made me mad: surprisingly? no not really mostly bc  you are nonconfrontational af6. Best feature: your talent, your laidback attitude, your loyalty7. Have I ever had a crush on you: nope8. You’re my: ex-boyfriend’s best friend, best friend’s boyfriend (friend)

ATLANTA

1. First impression: omg omg omg she’s so SMALL I LOVE HER2. Truth is: i know you’re hurting and i don’t know how to help, but i love you3. How old do you look: too old, stop wearing so much make up, what happened to the little girl that used to run to me when she scraped her knees?4. Have you ever made me laugh: yes, of course5. Have you ever made me mad: pffffffft -- yes6. Best feature: your loyalty, your ferocity8. You’re my: baby sister

BAMBI/JAKE

1. First impression: wow he’s so cool and cute2. Truth is: im sorry i fucked shit up, i still wanna be your friend, thank you for forgiving me3. How old do you look: older than mE4. Have you ever made me laugh: yeah definitely you’re a funny bloke5. Have you ever made me mad: no, you’ve scared me a bit tho6. Best feature: abs i mean smile and how nice you are7. Have I ever had a crush on you: lol8. You’re my: friend?

@oh-heartlessman

[mischievousmarvelousmagical-blog]

It’s a Conspiracy! ~ [The M-Squad Texts]

In which Maui learns some very interesting news about Merida and has to share it with his friends...

@thedipster, @breathofthe-ocean

[tw -- uh none?]

Maui: YO GUYS Maui: YO

Moana: yes Maui?

Dipper: what

Maui: SO i went into work today right Maui: AND guess whose name i heard

Moana: Nana Tala. Don't tell me she got arrested again

Maui: no. Maui: wait what?

Moana: I said nothing. Moana: Who's name

Maui: MERIDA

Dipper: wait what Dipper: Did they find her?? Dipper: Is she okay?

Moana: In a good way? Bad way? what does that mean?

Maui: NO it's wORSE Maui: she's Maui: a

Moana: ...

Maui: WEREWOLF

Moana: do we trust the person you heard this from?

Dipper: Uh. Dipper: Is there any proof besides he-said she-said?

Maui: That new cop interviewed Hades, right--who apparently was there when that person got attacked by the werewolf. AND he said it was Merida.

Moana: Merida was attacked by an animal awhile back...

Dipper: Okay, but how would Hades know this random wolf was Merida?

Maui: OMG Maui: idk according to the statement he did some like magic shit on her and turned her back to a human -- no idea how his magic works but we all know he's jacked as shit power-wise

Dipper: He could be trying to pin that on her, because of the other stuff. Dipper: Alright, so let's posit that this hypothesis is true Dipper: What the hell do we do now?

Maui: uhhhh what do they usually do on the cop shows? "follow the lead"? go talk to hades? and some lou bonfamille--probably not supposed to tell you that but he's the one who was attacked by "merida"

Moana: It can't hurt to talk to them? But if she was, would they even give us any information?

Maui: could kidnap hades' baby lol then he'd talk to us probs

Moana: not even funny Maui

Maui: it was a little funny

Moana: Maui, Hero to all, caught kidnapping a Baby. Great headline.

Dipper: That'll win your instagram fans over Dipper: You'd get cancelled

Maui: omg im not acTUALLY going to kidnap the baby Maui: i'm not merida Maui: lmao

Moana: but yeah if the rumor is right or wrong, at least we're asking people and getting more info

Maui: exactly -- and we def need to get to her before the police no matter what

Moana: I'm in. Who takes who? bad cop good cop? whoever runs into whoever first? Is Lou even in public right now?

Dipper: I'm going to do some research on werewolves. Dipper: I dunno if I buy this. Dipper: I need to have all the facts in place and cross-ref with Merieda's behaviour

Maui: it doesn't matter if you buy it Maui: they are the last ones to see merida potentially Maui: we've gotta at least see whta they have to say

Dipper: Yeah, well I don't wanna go on wild goose chase and possibly spreading harmful rumors without the facts

Moana: What do you wanna do? Research first? then, i dunno we haven't had any possible leads on who saw her last till potentially now

Maui: asking questions isn't spreading rumors Maui: but w/e we'll find merida on our own, won't we moana?

Moana: We'll find her together. Maui and I can be discreet... I can be discreet, while you research. How does that sound?

Dipper: Alright. Dipper: We can get a feel for the field while I do background.

Maui: great. who do you want moana?

Moana: you're making me pick?? uhh I don't think it matters? i dont know either. flip a coin?

Maui: cool. heads or tails? Maui: lol let's make lou dude tails bc he's a werewolf apparently

Moana: i hate that I laughed at that. Moana: okay gimmie a sec

Maui: ; ) ; ) ; )

Moana: oh shut up Moana: tails for me so I guess I've got Lou

Maui: good luck lmao

Moana: vice versa Moana: back to you* Moana: whatever the saying is

[thedipster]

Swynlake, Episode 1: The Descent || Demon Squad

Dipper was blazing a new path for himself and part of that new path was that he wanted to commit to this web series of his. He had it planned out: each episode, he’d tour another Swynlake local spot and edit the footage with him telling of the local legends. He wanted it to be kinda spooky, but also informative. And he’d managed to wrangle Merida and Maui to come with him on this first footage gathering!

Dun dun dun!

The Lyons Cave.

He had some notes leftover from Professor Thatch, so he figured this would be a fun and easy (and also really cool!) first episode. 

“It’s just a bit further, guys,” said Dipper, as the trio set off bright and early. “Wave for the camera!”

@mischievousmarvelousmagicalmaui @heart-of-dunbroch

[thedipster]

Swynlake, Episode 2: Jennifer’s Body || Demon Squad

Dipper, Maui, and Merida were walking by the Kohaku River because all researched evidence pointed to something suspicious happening along it.

Right, let’s back track. Dipper, Maui, and Merida explored the Lyons Cave a few weeks prior and while that was all good and fun, they had accidentally stumbled upon the phone of a missing girl. Maui went to the police and Dipper and Merida hit the library and asked hypothetical questions to their professors. Dipper stayed up extra late on some really sketchy forums and finally proposed the theory that there could possibly be some dark magic ritual involved.

What place in town had the most reports of dark magic around it? The river, of course. All that hell stuff (which Dipper had not  be around for but had heard from Maui and Merida, as well as his professors and the town forums in general) had originated from near the river. Heck, Maui claimed to have closed the gates of hell.

So here they were. Walking. Dipper wasn’t sure what they were gonna find, but he had his camera out nonetheless.

“Right – last time we found a phone,” he spoke, angling the camera towards Maui and Merida. “Research evidence – to edit in later – suggests that this river is a hot bed of magic activity, so we’re walking. Been walking for about --- how long you think? An hour maybe?”

@mischievousmarvelousmagicalmaui @heart-of-dunbroch

[thedipster]

Exorcism for Three || Demauida

<<Hmmm what’s happening here?? you may wanna read up on this:>>

Falling into Place

(but it’s not me)

(there’s someone--)

<<But ALSO some stuff happened here>>

Legends are Lessons

Extra Credit

After knocking Dipper out, Maui calls Merida and the two agree that there’s something possessing Dipper. They decide to exorcise the demon...

[TW: Blood, gore, violence, exorcism that seems a bit like torture but remember it’s a demon so, ]

@mischievousmarvelousmagicalmaui && @heart-of-dunbroch

MAUI: Right, so--there was a knocked out Dipper laying on the floor in their bedroom, his nose bleeding all over the damn place. He was breathing all rattly and weird and Maui’s hands were shaking a bit. Stepping out of the room, he left the door open and leaned on the wall opposite, watching the knocked out, twitching body.

He should call Merida--was his first thought. Make sure she was okay. Tell her that Dipper wasn’t--Dipper. He knew Dipper liked her and he deserved to be defended. They’d exchanged numbers a while back and, y’know, because Maui was Maui, he considered her a friend soo--

He dialed her number and waited.

MERIDA: Merida was shakin’ something fierce as well.

After Dipper had left her room, she’d stood there, staring at the droplets of blood he’d gotten on her carpet. The boy’s voice rang in her head like he was still there. Hissin’ at her, like a snake hidden in the grass. Let me get what I want.

She shut her eyes, trying to block it out. And then she told her body to move.

Merida had forced herself to her shower. She’d clambered in and turned the water all the way hot. Her skin pinked, then flamed red. She washed all the mud from her trip into the woods. She scrubbed the dirt. She scrubbed Dipper’s hand off her too. The water poured over her like a great thunderstorm, and she stayed in there longer than she normally would, till finally her water ran cold and she had to get out.

She slipped into her sweats and one of her da’s ol ratty tees when her phone buzzed on the desk. Her eyes darted to it. She had a feeling it might be Dipper, she didn’t know why-- and her anger swelled up again. She crossed her room in three large steps so she might hang up at once, but she paused when she saw Maui’s name.

Merida answered with a click, holding the phone up to her ear, her other hand pushing her wet ginger curls from her forehead. “Maui?” she said, his name comin’ out a little more breathless than normal.

MAUI: “Merida! Hey, uhm--how--are you alright?” he asked right away. He’d get to the rest of it, but--he had no idea how far that disgusting creature inside Dipper had gone or how shaken up Merida might be. She was a tough chick but--anyone would be rattled by that, he’d imagine.

MERIDA: Maui asked if she was alright-- which meant one thing. He’d seen Dipper, bloody-nosed, crazy-eyed Dipper and…

The rest of the sentence she didn’t have the answers to. But she was going to find out. She sank onto her bed at once. She hardened her jaw, flicked her hair back, her hand curlin’ into a fist on her leg, though Maui wasn’t here to see any of this. Still, if she acted tough, she’d feel though, and her voice wouldn’t shake either.

“‘M fine,” she said, voice hard and casual. “Ye saw ye git of a roommate then? I dunno what he told you but-- the bastard tried it on me first. He’s lucky I dinnit take an eye out with his nose.” A pause, and her shoulders slumped, all her bravado crumbling to bits in a second. “He’s alright though, aye? He-- was actin’ funny. Think he was on somethin’ or--” her voice came to a halt.

MAUI: Maui winced a bit at the confirmation, though, it didn’t seem like anything too serious had happened. Though, he wished he could see her face, because then he’d know better. Not that she had to tell him or he knew her well enough to really tell. But, just that little confirmation made him feel just a touch better.

“Er, well--it’s not--he’s not--”

Maui hesitated, he didn’t know if he could tell her. If he could trust her, or should trust her. He knew Dipper hated that whole thing about the first demon getting all over the news. How it had made him a mini-celebrity and not in the good way.

But, Maui couldn’t just--let Merida think Dipper was capable of something like that.

“Right, so--if I tell you something, you’ll keep a secret, yeah? I swear this is relevant.”

A pause.

“And don’t worry, the asshole is knocked out bleeding all over my carpet right now, sooo--”

MERIDA: Maui stuttered. Maui didn’t stutter-- he was one of those boys, the ones who talked because they liked the sound of their own voice and thought they were more charmin’ than they were and it didn’t help, y’know, when airheaded girls with low expectations fawned over ‘im. All that bein’ said, Merida actually liked Maui (if she just ignored him totin’ around an ancient magical object that gave him dangerous powers and made him some kinda guardian for Magicks, as if they needed a guardian) because he was the kind of boy who didn’t stutter. Merida liked confidence, after all.

So she knew somethin’ was wrong now.

She blinked, more pieces of this weird puzzle fallin’ in her lap. Dipper was knocked out? Did Maui do that? “Wait-- what happened? I mean-- aye. I promise. What’s goin’ on?”

MAUI: “So, Dipper may or may not be possessed or re-possessed by a demon,” Maui blurted, not wasting another second. He felt like he was exploding.

“He’s--he’s been possessed once before. I dunno if he told you about it? Like--on his thirteenth birthday or something and I swear Merida--his voice got all weird like...I dunno if you had ‘em in Scotland but there are these weird megaphones my brothers used to scare the shit out of me with as a kid that like--distort your voice? It sounded like he was talking through one of those and his eyes went black. Like--actually black.”

And then he licked my face, he almost said, but they weren’t getting into that.

“I had to crack him over the head with my hook--which also glowed. So, I’m pretty sure it wasn’t him, Merida. Dipper would never do something like that.”

MERIDA: Possessed.

Yeah, Merida had known about the whole-- incident. She’d internet-stalked Dip when they first became Facebook friends and it wasn’t too hard to pull together, and Mer had filed it back into her profiles of people, rememberin’ it in case it was ever relevant to Merida’s own mission. Though her impression of Dipper had never been that he was...dangerous. He’d been an overeager lad when he’d summoned the demon-- curious, ambitious, wantin’ to prove himself.

A lot like Merida.

Now, she remembered the treasure chest hidden in the secret room of the library.

She remembered all those runes upon its frame, the ones she’d snapped pictures for and then forgotten about…

A chill ran through her. They were so stupid.

“Are ye sure it’s a demon?” she said and she got up, her bedsprings squeaking. She headed toward her closest, pullin’ out one of her flannels, balancing the phone twixt her ear and shoulder. “Not a poltergeist or a ghoul? Anything-- er-- act funny around him, y’know? Rattling drawers, telekinesis-- what did he say?”

MAUI: “I dunno! I don’t think it’s a poltergeist. He--he knew things about me,” Maui said slowly, pinching the bridge of his nose. “Things that--that no one really knows. That...there is no way he could’ve found out about. That’s not...poltergeist don’t know shit like that.”

Maui shifted from one foot to another, tucking his free hand into his armpit and chewing on his lip a bit.

“It would make sense, wouldn’t it? I-I mean, he’s been possessed before...maybe that makes him...more susceptible. And the demon energy is intense in this town.”

MERIDA: He knew things about me. Things that-- that no one really knows.

Merida’s blood chilled as though a frost was gathering inside her. She could stilll hear Dipper’s strange, distorted voice and the things that he had said to her. She had wondered, then. She had thought shapeshifter. She had thought-- spy. She had thought demon.

Trust your gut, Merida. The DunBrochs have good instincts. That’s what her da had always said. It looked like her gut really was right.

Which meant it was time to prove that she was a DunBroch. Dipper was in danger-- everyone was in danger depending on what kind of demon this was. This was what the Order was here for. It was Merida’s turn.

She grit her jaw. “Right, I’m comin’ to you,” she said and crossed her room toward her doors. They rattled as she opened ‘em, fetching her jeans and tossin’ ‘em on the bed. “Ye ever exorcised a demon ‘fore, Maui, demi-god of wind and sky?” she joked his way, the smile returning to her lips. She was alight with fresh adrenaline, the wind of adventure inside her again. Tonight, she and Maui would prove themselves.

Who said a Knight couldn’t team up with an ol’ Magick now and then? Desperate times, as they say.

MAUI: “Wind and sea,” Maui grumbled into the phone, but it was a gut-reaction. People always got his titles wrong. It had bothered him at first. Okay, it still bothered him. Which was why he did it without thinking.

Because what he was really thinking about was--

Exorcisms.

No. He had not performed an exorcism. He’d heard about them. He’d witnessed ghosts and poltergeists. Hawai’i was a hotbed of paranormal activity. On the northwestern part of Maui, on certain nights, you could see departed souls diving down into Po from Keka’a, the ka-leina-a-ka-‘uhane was where the Underworld’s veil was thinnest.

“Have you ever performed an exorcism?” Maui shot back after a second, furrowing his brows.

MERIDA: “Er,” she uttered, phone near slippin from the crook in her neck as she was leanin’ over and jumpin’ into her jeans. She caught it with one hand, wiggling the denim up past her knees as she did. “Not exactly. But what better time to start than the present, eh?”

She got her jeans all the way up, zipping and buttoning them. “We need candles, and-- salt, and-- shite,” she cursed under her breath as she went over to her desk. She yanked out a drawer, digging down past her notebooks and binders till she got the her da’s journal from the bottom. She flipped through it, lookin’ for demon, demon, ghost…

“Somethin’ to bind him! Rope’lll work, yeah? I’ll bring me holy water,” she announced over the phone. “Alright-- you keep him put. I can be at yours in under a half hour.”

MAUI: Any time, Maui wanted to say. Any time was better than right fucking now. He figured demon exorcisms were the kinds of things you, y’know--read about. Practiced under adult supervision.

But, well, he supposed Merida and him were the--adults.

Christ.

“Er, yeah, I’ll use my hook. That should work,” he said, and there was a pause on the line. “You should--also bring salt because I dunno if we have any. I’ll see you soon.”

Once he hung up, Maui stared at Dipper’s prone form on the floor of their bedroom. He looked so frail, small and crumpled. For a moment, Maui doubted himself. What if he’d just fucking snapped and hallucinated that weird, gravelly, animatronic voice? But no--his cheek was still slightly wet and...Dipper would never do what he did to Merida.

So, he walked over to his friend and bent down. “Sorry, Dipp, it’s for your own good.” Then, he grabbed his shirt and hoisted him up in a fireman’s carry, taking him out into the living room and depositing him on the couch.

First, he took his hook off his belt, and holding the rope in one hand, he began to use the end attached to the hook to wrap Dipper up, like a hostage in those old time-y movies--from chest to abdomen. When he was done with that, he tied off the loose end and kept hold of his hook, the rope magically expanding as he crossed the living room and knocked on Declan’s door.

“Yo, Dec,” he said, as calm as he could, “you got any candles in here?”

“Yeah, man, what’d’ya need them for?”

Oh, just an exorcism.

“Ly’s doin’ a tarot reading. You know how she likes her mood lighting.”

“Righteous,” he mused with a nod as he got off his bed and collected about ten candles from various drawers and windowsills. “Here ya’ go.”

“Great, thanks. I’ll--bring these back. And Dec--don’t come outta your room, alright?”

“Sure thing, Maui-man.”

Maui nodded to him and stepped back. He deposited them onto the couch. Then, there was a knock at the door. Maui scurried over to it (still carrying his hook, which was still glowing) and opened it with a deep breath.

“Merida,” he said, looking her up and down once--as if to make sure she was really okay-- “Excellent night for an exorcism, eh?” he tried to joke as he opened the door for her to come in, shutting it and locking it behind him. Hopefully Kovu didn’t walk in on the middle of this, but it was still early in the night and he’d been staying out later and later these days.

MERIDA: After she hung up with Maui, Merida set to work.

She bookmarked her da’s page in the journal, then shut it and tossed it in her bag, before falling to the carpet and reaching down underneath her bed to draw out the box she’d hidden there. Sliding it out, the lid popped off and there it was: the real Merida-- who she was and who she wanted to be. Her arrows, her knives, even her makeshift uniform filled the box. She reached into it now for somethin’ she’d not touched once, but that any good Knight would have--

Holy water. She had a whole bottle of it. Next, she grabbed the salt, then rosary beads, then the dried sage she’d wrapped in a plastic bag. She reached back into the box one more time, but this time her hand paused over a small, rather old pistol.

It wasn’t the way of the Order, really, to use guns. They were brutal weapons, with less finesse and more noise and trouble attached to ‘em. Big hunts took rifles along, though. Most boys learned how to shoot. And copper bullets were said to be poison to ghosts and demons. If an exorcism did not work for a stubborn poltergeist, you could put a bullet in the flesh of its bearer, and the ghost would flee.

She had copper bullets (she had silver too.) She had never thought she would use those copper bullets. But now, after that second of hesitation, she grabbed the pistol and the bullets too, not loading the gun but stashin’ it in her bag anyway. Then on the lid went and back under the bed-- Merida up in the next second, tossin’ her backpack on her shoulder and tying her hair all the way up with two hair ties.

The walk to Maui and Dipper’s dorm was an easy one. She’d taken it before and Pride U’s campus was close and cozy, especially to Merida now, who knew its paths like she knew the ones at Cawdor Castle. She walked fast too, the adrenaline pushing her onward.

And she shouldn’t be thinkin’ it, she knew she shouldn’t, but she couldn’t help it-- Finally, thought Merida. Finally, a hunt.

She arrived about fifteen minutes after she’d hung up and knocked briskly. Maui was prompt; the door swung open and Mer peered in to see Dipper knocked out and tied to the chair.

She couldn’t help but snort a little, even smiled at Maui. “Aye. Perfect weather,” she said back to him and then wandered in.

“Allllright-- first thing’s first, we gottah close the spirit in,” said Merida, slippin’ off her bag and unzipping it. She pulled out the jar of salt and held it out to Maui. “Will yeh? I’ll start lightin’ candles.”

(Not) DIPPER For the record, the not part of not-Dipper knew what was going on. It was just that his pathetic meat-bag choice of vessel was knocked out on the floor and without a proper binding, not had to work with the human limitations of Dipper’s body.

Unfortunately, Dipper was scrawny, weak, sustained on a poor diet of carbs and overly-processed meats, and could not take a goddamn hook to the head.

Oh well.

Not-Dipper waited. He waited and waited, letting Dipper’s body get throw onto the couch like the useless puppet it was. He waited and waited, letting Maru tie up Dipper. Waited and watched and kept Dipper’s eyes closed, though he could still see all.

He heard Merida’s voice and Dipper’s eyes flickered a little. Finally--this bag of flesh was stirring.

A groan escaped Dipper’s lips. It was mostly not-Dipper, but he wanted to mess with Dipper, so he let him feel the pain, the throbbing in his head, the chaffing of the rope.

And then that groan turned into a chuckle, soft, scraping, almost like a limp leg dragging along scattered autumn leaves.

“Awww, you guys wanna play with me,” cooed not-Dipper, jerking Dipper’s head up to look at the scene before him. “Wow, you brought the big-kid toys. I’m impressed really--guess I should’ve expected, though, considering that’s what your lies are about.”

He wriggled a bit, then glanced at the ropes.

“Excellent tying. Might not need all your fancy toys, Merida, hmm?” He laughed, running his tongue across his top lip. “Maybe you like me better when I’m all tied up, huh?”

His eyes darted across her, then back to Maui, then back to Merida again, before he let out a sigh.

“Alright, alright meatsacks--are ya gonna start this shinamading or what? I have plots I gotta get to.”

MAUI: Did Maui wanna follow Merida’s lead on this? Not particularly. And not because she was a girl or anything, but just because, well, he didn’t know shit about her, really, besides what Dipper told him and a few things he’d picked up here or there. He liked her just fine. Reminded him of Moana a bit, though more in your face about shit.

It just wasn’t a level of friendship akin to--Hey let’s expel this demon from our mutual friend.

But, well, Maui didn’t have a lot of other choices, did he? Could call the council but they’d probably yell at him for getting mixed up with demons (imagine if they knew about his jaunt through the Underworld.) Could maybe call Moana’s Nana, but then Moana would get involved and Maui didn’t want that.

So, he was going to have to trust Merida.

Which, he did, with a tight smile and a sharp nod as she handed him the salt. He had plenty of questions. Where’d she get a jar of salt? How does she know about demon exorcisms? Just a general--what the fuck?

He swallowed them down and got to work.

Once he was about halfway done with the circle, Dipper groaned. Which made Maui’s heart jump and he started pouring faster, the circle a bit messier. “Shit,” he cursed under his breath as Not-Dipper mouthed off to Merida and tried to wiggle out of his binds.

“Hey, why don’t you shut the fuck up, we can concentrate better if you’re not fucking talking,” he growled in the demon’s direction as he finished off the circle and stood up straight, giving a tug on the rope still connected at his hip for good measure.

“What next?” he asked, half-turning to Merida, keeping Not-Dipper in his line of sight.

MERIDA: Merida took the sage out of the plastic baggie, reachin’ back into her jean pocket to pull out the lighter as well. She heard some shifting behind her and she glanced over her shoulder, seeing Dipper, tied to the chair, starting to come to. Her eyes lingered on him, watchin’ his eyelashes flutter there against his cheek.

From here, he looked sweet and sort of beautiful, if it weren’t for the dried cakey blood on his face. He had long eyelashes for a boy, y’know. They reminded her of Angus and his long lashes. They curtained his eyes and made them seem darker and sweeter.

Dipper’s eyes looked darker and sweeter too. When he smiled at her.

But then he opened his eyes and he didn’t look like Dipper at all. The smile dropped off her face as he leered, looking directly at her. Her head jerked forward again and she took a deep breath in (she could still feel his hand crawlin’ up her skin like he was some kind of roach looking for a place to drill inside her--)

She ignored him, grabbin’ the candles and goin’ round as well, places them at five different points. She ignored him as she lit them each, one by one. She ignored the shiver that went up her spine, the hair standing up on the back of her neck like she was bein’ watched, the feeling that she was bein’ stripped searched.

The sooner they exorcised the walloper the better. Last thing Merida needed was her affiliation revealed to Maui, demi-god of the wind and sea and hero to all.

After the last candle, she lit the end of the sage so it crisped black. Shovin’ the lighter back into her pocket, she lifted the sage and began to waft its pungent smoke through the room.

“There’s rosary beads in my bag,” she told Maui. “Wrap ‘em around your arms and hold the cross out. We’re gonna compel the bastard outta ‘em.”

(not) DIPPER His lips curled at the scent of the sage. If this were a lesser demon, it would make his eyes water, would force him to start losing control of his vessel. But the creature dwelling inside of Dipper right now was ancient, as old as time itself and belonging to an infinite amount of realities that these poor humans couldn’t even comprehend.

“Oh, no,” he deadpanned, eyes darting from Maui to Merida and back and forth like a pinball machine. “Sage. My one weakness.”

He let out a barking laugh, tossing his head back sharply so that it nearly hit the wall.

“I bet ya think those rosary beads are gonna burn me and that cross is gonna force me out---newsflash honey, this kid’s Jewish.” He snapped his head back. “They really don’t teach ya this stuff on a cross-faith basis, do they? A shame, really. So Eurocentric---say, I wonder how Shikh exorcisms are done. Haven’t had one of those--did have an Islamic one in another reality and lemme tell you, they actually knew their stuff--”

He swerved his head towards Merida, Dipper’s eyes growing wider and wider, blacker and blacker.

“They weren’t just some kids playing dress-up, pretending to be heroes that they’re not.”

He snapped back to Maui.

“You’ve got it worse than she does--she’s at least the right age, well maybe a bit older. Though I guess that depends on your version of reality.” A laugh here, cruel and high and scathing. “Alright, rosary me up. Let’s see how this goes.”

MAUI: The demon unnerved him.

Not just because it wasn’t Dipper, but that it was speaking with Dipper’s mouth--making all his facial expressions twisted and wrong. It unnerved him that his voice was so...strange, almost magnified but static sounding, as if it was in his own head but far away at the same time. Not to mention what the asshole was saying.

Maui glanced nervously at Merida after having grabbed the beads and cross from her bag. He was wrapping one of the rosaries around his forearm as the demon spoke again, poking at his deepest, darkest secret.

He froze, grit his jaw, tried to breathe out. The demon just kept gabbing on--about ages? Versions of reality? Maui glanced at Merida again and shifted a little from foot to foot.

Readjusting the cross in his hand, he held it out towards the demon. His hand shook slightly but he ignored it.

“Alright, let’s get this the fuck over with.” He wanted his friend back and this demon needed to fucking beat it before Merida got any other snippets of information he definitely did not need her to know.

MERIDA: Merida could give a damn what this fookin’ neep was blabbin out the gob, she’d shut it for him soon enough. He wasn’t making sense anyway. And that is what she’d say if he did mention somethin’ about her too close to the truth-- about the Order, her family, or the arrows she’d let fly through the forest. Sense was on her side, wasn’t it? That, and not being a demon herself.  

Maui didn’t look like he was paying much attention to the spewing rubbish either. He looked-- pale and outta sorts, but exorcisms and demon-possesed mates were no joke.

She agreed with him then. Time to crack on.

“Aw, shut yer gob, yer comin’ out no matter what holidays he celebrates,” she spat in Dipper’s direction. “So I’d consider evictin’ the premises sooner rather than later, ye boiled fat toe of ah rat.”

Then, crossing over to her bag, she pulled out her squirt bottle of holy water too. “Righ’. Repeat after me, Maui.”

And then she stepped up to the edge of the salt circle, careful not to step on even a grain and squirted the water right in Dipper’s face. “Crux sacra sit mihi lux!”

(not) DIPPER:

It was time to put on a little show.

Clearly, these fleshy carbon-based lumps weren’t gonna let him go.

But they’d let Dipper go, wouldn’t they?

As pathetic as the kid was, he’d somehow managed to rack up some pretty powerful friends. A Knight and the current Maui (as fake and pretend as the both of them were, they still had access to information and tools that would overpower this flesh vessel) somehow liked this scrappy youth. Not only liked but were willing to get hurt for--

Jeez, he’d never understand humans and their need to form things like emotional connections and platonic bonds.

Merida sprayed the Holy water and it barely stung not-Dipper, but he cried out, as if it were actually hurting. He made sure not to let Dipper’s voice edge in--just yet.

When he spoke next, he made sure to sound out of breath, made sure to allow just a tinge of fear in his voice, even though truthfully, he was finding this whole thing amusing.

“Is that all ya got, princess?” he snarled, spitting back at her, and panting.

MAUI: Maui snorted, just a little, at Merida’s--er, colorful--namecalling. Probably the best part of her personality, if he was honest. (Nah, he liked that she was spunky and drunk beer better than most girls and could keep up, and apparently knew how to exorcise demons.)

He was right on her heel, making sure he didn’t step on any of the salt either.

“Er--Crux sacra mihi lux!” he chanted after her, just a second behind.

The demon spat and shifted in his seat. Maybe this would work. Or maybe they’d just piss the demon off even more.

“I think it’s working!” Maui encouraged, best to take the positive road.

MERIDA: Dipper cried out, his voice sharp and high. It reminded her of a rodent stuck in a trap-- like the one summer, when there’d been an infestation of squirrel in the gardens of Cawdor Castle and so Elinor had arranged these steel cages to be placed throughout. They shut with a terrible bang, often catchin’ a poor critter’s tail in the door. They screamed and squeaked and Merida shuddered whenever it happened. She was a proud hunter, y’know, but she believed in a quick and merciful death. One shot to kill.

This was not one shot to kill. Dipper was a squirrel caught in their trap. His yelp made her want to crawl outta her skin.

But she couldn’t lose her nerve now. It was working, like Maui said.

She doused him in another shot of water. “Crux sacra mihi lux!” she shouted again. And another, Dipper’s bangs sticking to his forehead as the water dripped down his face. “Ipse venena bibas!”

(not) DIPPER: The next time he cried out, he made sure to use Dipper’s voice. It cracked through, all vulnerable and cloying. The holy water did sting, mind you, but for a demon as ancient as the one currently inhabiting Dipper’s body, it felt like a few cumbersome mosquito bites.

But the show must go on.

He started to writhe, really putting extra effort into making the movements jerky and real. He had been around enough (successful) exorcisms before that he knew the process. Snap your neck back, shake your chest, flail your limbs--all that good shit, maybe even foam a bit at the mouth, they ate that shit up--

“Help me!” he cried out, using Dipper’s voice. (It was not actually Dipper’s voice, Dipper was buried still, desperately trying to claw his way back but unable to do so). “N̶͇̝̪̤̦̙͙̳O͉̦̝̟͓̭͢ͅO̷̡͚͎͓͖̙͈̥̯̞O҉̣͇̮̹̳͖͚͜O̵̥̯͠--” He switched back to the demon voice.

One of his finest performances, if he did say so himself.

“Make a Star of David--” he said, using Dipper’s voice again, making it all scratchy and desperate. “That’s how it’ll work, because--Ș͖̘̮̝̟͈T̛͉͇͓̦͇̝̬̯̱Ơ̶͙̬̬͡P̗̦̰̙̬̲̱̬͟͠ ̙̣̠̕Ì̵͍̤̱̞͙T̷̺̲̬̦͈͈̕ ̡̞̬̦̪͉͉̜͎Y̡̧̧͔̰O̳͟U͎̰͉ ̺̫̠͚͟͝P̦̟̪͈̦̹̦A̧̞̯̣̘̠͓͔͟T͖̗̩̝̝̳̱̦̟Ḩ̴̝͉̩̀E̩̹T͏̢̜̲̗͢I̞̱̯̣̲͓̥C͏҉͎̖̤̖̺̯ ̨̠͙̻̫̯̲͖̬P̡̹͓̱̩̼̙̹E̞͟��̗̙̯̘͍O̷̲̗͇Ņ̯̪̻͠---”

He shook Dipper’s body violently, rolling his eyes back and gaped his mouth open as far as it would go, growling and hissing.

His ol’ theatre teacher would’ve been impressed.

MAUI: Merida squirted Dipper like he was a house cat getting up on the counters, and Dipper--not-Dipper--hissed and spat. It made Maui’s stomach churn like a wind-tossed sea.

He hated this. Dipper screamed and cried, jerking around unnaturally. The knot that Maui had tied held, he was sure it was. If there was one thing Maui had always been good at, it had been knots. He’d been the best out of his brothers. He always made the best nets too. He was good with his hands when it came to that kind of thing.

But, part of him wished the knot would unravel or the ropes would break and let Dipper go, because this couldn’t be good for him. What if it was killing him? What if he would be in a coma after this? But he--he’d done this already, right? He’d come out of it just fine...was there some limit as to how many times this could happen?

Dipper cracked through, talking about the Star of David…

Maui looked at Merida. “I-I think Dipp’s got one of those in his room. I-I’ll go get it.”

With a nod from Merida, Maui dashed back to his and Dipper’s room, thanking god that Dipper was actually organized. He found the little white flag with the blue star on it hanging from a corner. He snatched it and dashed back out in under fifteen seconds.

“What the fuck do I do with it?” he asked, holding the fabric in his hands out towards the demon, but looking to Merida for instruction. She seemed to have this under control. And they needed to hurry, because it didn’t look like Dipper could take much more.

MERIDA: Merida’s own heart raced, her eyes widening as Dipper writhed in the ties and contorted his body. She knew that mean it was working. She knew that meant she had to press on, not give up the fight now. If she held on and so did Maui, Dipper could be free--

But it looked so terrible, sounded even worse, she wanted badly to give up. She did, she did. She was not made for ghost huntin’. She was not a demonology student, she didn’t have the stomach for this.

Merida just wanted her friend back.

Tears stung at her eyes and she watched as Maui darted away and then back again, carryin’ the Star of David. She blinked those tears back, drawing in a sharp breath. She set her jaw, looked back at Dipper still fightin’ with the demon. She tried to hold onto the sound of his voice. That’s what she was doin’ this for.

“Command him to leave! Repeat the chant again, I-- I don’t know Hebrew so just gotta stick with Latin--”

She splattered Dipper again, though it made him howl and shake in the chair. She winced but forced the words through her teeth-- “Crux sacra mihi lux!”

(not) DIPPER: He screamed.

Dipper’s hands dug into the fabric of his pants, the nails ripping through, tearing into the flesh of his leg, leaving small half-moon curves of blood.

(They were crying, this was too much for them, that was a good thing, they were too soft for this).

There were tears on Dipper’s cheeks now, salty, pathetic tears and not-Dipper let out a strangled sob, which choked in Dipper’s throat and shook through him.

“I’m sorry,” said Dipper’s voice, shaking through the sobs. “This was my fault--I’m sorry--”

He screamed again, body rattling like a leaf in the late autumn wind. His breathing grew rapid, short, fast breaths, as if he couldn’t get enough air.

“Y͖͍͚͓̱o̘̺̫̙̲ų͕̻̗̺̩͉ ̘̻̝͉͕F̻̼̖̲͖ͅO͎̪͘O̶̦͔̖̖̦L̯͓̩̭S̸,” crackled the demon voice, giving it just enough emphasis, but also just enough faded-out quality. Excellent, excellent. “I̤͍̜'̺̮̣̗̻̻͠ͅḶ̹̕L̶͚̦͕̰ B̹̝̠E̼͔̤̞̤ ̝͢B͠A̛̹͇̪̲̜͔͇C̝̘̻̮̲̭̝k͉͍͚̪ͅk̨̯͉̝̯k̗͈̰̳̪̫̻Kk̹̦̖̗̺͓͝k̨͇̫̦k̷͇̯̭͖͓̜̟k̙͇͚----”

Dipper’s body violently jolted and he let out a gasp, then shuddered, head dropping forward.

Alright, wait a few seconds--one, two, three…

“I’m so cold,” said Dipper’s voice, and his body shook again. “I’m so cold.”

MAUI: Maui hadn’t signed up for this either.

When he’d envisioned becoming Maui, sitting out on his little boat, with the hot sun baking on his back--he hadn’t envisioned this. He’d envisioned his mother beaming brightly, his father clapping him on the shoulder, his brothers--jealous. He imagined saving kittens from trees and rescuing damsels in distress. He imagined television interviews and getting thousands of likes on Instagram. He imagined little kids looking up to him. He imagined being able to buy his mom a proper, nice house one day--where all of his brothers (and their families) could have their own rooms and his mom could have a huge kitchen to cook for them all.

He hadn’t imagined this--torturing his friend, whose screams he’d hear echoing in his thoughts months from now, after all this was over. Hadn’t imagine Dipper jerking so hard it looked like his body was broken, twisted ways that no human body should be able to twist. He didn’t imagine bile in the back of his mouth or the sinking of his heart.

But, he stood there and he held the flag out and he repeated after Merida and he watched the whole thing with eyes wide open, unable to look away.

So, he saw--he saw the second the light left Dipper’s eyes and his body slackened. The demon’s screeching was still ringing in his ears but he grabbed Merida’s arm, his heart pounding.

“Did it work? It worked! That’s--Dipper? Dipper, can you hear us?”

He took a step forwards, than another. His foot sprayed grains of salt like sand as he crossed the line and knelt down next to Dipper’s prone body.

“Mer--” he said, as he reached up to tug the knot loose “--get him some--some water, and a blanket!”

MERIDA: Dipper had out another scream, sharp as a knife. Merida’s vision went blurry and wet and she clutched tighter to that bottle and squeezed her eyes shut, drawing in a deep breath into her lungs so she might say her chant again.

She could not give up. She could not give up. DunBrochs did not give up. They were heroes--

She heard her father’s voice, spinning the rich yarn of her ancestors. Once, long ago, this land was ruled by monsters– dragons in the sky, serpents in the great lochs and riverbeds, and demons lurking in the dark wood...only one warrior had the strength and bravery to fight on the front line of the King’s armies and beat back the terrible scourge.

He bore the crest of Dunbroch!

Merida’s eyes snapped open and her voice thundered as Dipper screamed. “Crux sacra mihi lux!”

Dipper jerked, nearly toppled over the chair. The demon’s voice turned garbled in his mouth.

And then everything stopped and was quiet.

Merida panted there, her own throat stinging from the shouting. Her wide eyes stayed locked on Dipper. He looked like one of her limp ragdolls, the ones that she’d roughhoused with and ruined, draggin’ them through the muddy gardens of Cawdor as she took ‘em on adventures. When Merida finally blinked, she realized she was crying too.

It was Maui who snapped her out of it. He staggered forth and shouted at her to get a blanket. Merida let the water bottle clatter to the floor at once (it was nearly empty anyway and you shouldn’t drink holy water) and she snatched the blanket from the nearest bed. She crossed into the salt circle and draped the blanket over his shoulders.

“There now, it’s alrigh’,” Merida said in her softest voice. She had only ever used it on her wee brothers, when tellin’ them stories at night. She stroked some of Dipper’s wet fringe back. “It’s gonna be alrigh’.”

(not) DIPPER:

For all the talk that these two nimrods had about being heroes, they sure were soft, squishy things. Crying and gushing and helping this pathetic little boy up. Humans never ceased to amaze him with their sentimentality. It was enough to make him gag.

Luckily, that came out as a hiccup, which worked well with the whole post-exorcism shock thing. Dipper’s body shook and Dipper’s breathing was shaking and Dipper’s face was wet from the Holy Water and his own sweat.

Things that he knew right now: 1. He needed to get out out of here, fast. 2. Merida and Maui would not let him get out of here. 3. Merida had a knife in her pocket.

This last bit of information was provided to him and, in fact, would make the whole situation ten times easier than if he’d been going at this alone. So thank you for that.

Dipper’s body fell forward, in the most pathetic and weak way that he could feign, the blankets falling over him like a funeral shroud. He was nearly in Merida’s arms, a fact that he would laugh at another time, but now was not the time.

“I’m sorry,” Dipper’s voice said, weakly, and he made a whole show of trying to push himself back up, his hand brushing against the knife in Merida’s pocket--

“It’s a trap!” And there was a flash of Dipper--the real Dipper, the kindness in his eyes, the spark that he got when he figured out a physics problem, when he stayed up late editing his footage--

It escaped Dipper’s lips without approval, Dipper mustering the energy to pop to the surface, to regain control of his body (well, his mouth at least). The body, however, still belonged to the demon and he snatched the knife out of Merida’s pocket, and punched her right in the face.

This time it worked.

He felt the snap and the crack and the blood on his fingers and only had a second to laugh, before he lunged towards Maui, pressing the knife against his throat and yanking him up.

“Well, isn’t this lovely,” he cooed, breathing heavily into Maui’s ear, pressing the knife closer to his throat. “Last time, you were the one doing this to me, remember? Though she was still the one makin’ the choice.” He nodded towards Merida. “It wasn’t these bodies though, another set of three. You died that time.” He cackled.

“Now then--let’s get down to business. I know you have a gun, princess. And if you as so much reach for your bag, I’m gonna slash this fella’s throat here.” He yanked Maui’s hair, twisting his face so that he could see Dipper’s. “And as for you--you make a motion to overpower me, and I will press this blade into your throat and you will choke on your own blood--Actually, honestly, maybe I’ll do what she did to me that other time--yeah, that makes sense--”

Knife still pressed against Maui’s throat, not-Dipper stepped in front of him, smile crooked and leering.

“Now, don’t move, Maru,” said not-Dipper. “This will be over quickly.”

Instead of slashing Maui’s throat, not-Dipper kneed Maui right in the groin and in the split second before he doubled over in pain, not-Dipper slashed the knife across his chest, with a heaving grunt. He pulled the knife away, admiring the pretty red against the silver, then glanced at Merida.

“You better patch him up,” he said, and then brought the knife to his lips, sticking his tongue onto the blade and running it across. “Don’t wait up on me.”

[thedipster]

(there’s someone--) || demaui

<<Hmmm what’s happening here?? you may wanna read up on this:>>

Falling into Place

(but it’s not me) 

<<But ALSO some stuff happened here>>

Legends are Lessons

Extra Credit

[TW: violence, blood, rapey talk, verbal harassment probably lol]

After coming back from Merida’s place, not-Dipper runs into Maui...

@mischievousmarvelousmagicalmaui

(not) DIPPER:

So little Merida had put up a little fight--that feisty lass--and now not-Dipper was walking home and there was blood all down his face from where she’d punched him in the nose and his eye was black and his face throbbed and he felt beautiful, wonderful, glorious pain.

He sauntered into his dorm room and throw the door open, whistling a little as he walked to the bedroom, nonchalantly strolling in.

His hair was messy, messier than usually, sticking right up. The dark circles under his eyes were heightened. And there was the blood, dried by now, caked down his mouth and chin and neck, a dark red.

Ugh--that fake Magick was here, thought not-Dipper, doing his best not to roll Dipper’s eyes so far back in his head that only the whites showed.

Instead, he flashed a smile--large and jagged and sharp.

“‘Sup, Island Boy?” said not-Dipper, climbing onto Dipper’s bed and kicking his feet onto the covers without taking off his shoes. He stuck his hands behind his head, elbows jutting out, then flopped back so his head was on the pillow. “You do any hula dancing today?”

He cackled, high and loud and reached for a water bottle that Dipper kept besides the bed and lifted it up, turning it upside down and giving it a shake.

MAUI:

Maui was on his bed, doing homework.

Yup, you read that right--homework. His grades actually weren’t that bad this semester. He actually only had one D, which was in literature, but if he could just scrape by with a low C (or whatever the fuck the British equivalent was) he would be scot free and not have to take any more literature classes at all. He was actually preparing some questions for Dipper, because Dipper actually liked to read (the nerd (meant affectionately)).

When the door opened, Maui didn’t even notice at first. He was used to people coming in and out of his space with four brothers sharing two rooms and a couch.

‘Sup, Island Boy?

Maui’s brow furrowed a little at that. He wasn’t the most PC person in the world (he was trying to get better, though), so he wasn’t exactly offended, he was from an island after all, but he could also point out that they were both island boys, which he was about to do, all snarkily mind you--

When he turned and saw Dipper’s face.

He sat up at once, staring at Dipper as he continued to talk. There was blood all over his face. He looked like he’d just been in a fight. Small, sweet Dipper. In a fight. And he didn’t--seem to notice? And he was asking Maui about hula dancing? (Which was both stereotyping and Maui hadn’t told anyone in Swynlake about his short hula dancing stint when he was 11.)

“Dipper, I--what--you’re--you’re face! You--you’ve got a-a nosebleed.” He pointed towards Dipper’s nose, his brow still furrowed in confusion.

(not) DIPPER

Not-Dipper let out a laugh--high and brassy and cackling--and reached a finger to touch the blood that caked his face. Some of it was still wet, and he dabbed his fingers in it, as if he were a child with finger paints, and smeared it high up on his cheek.

He held out his bloody fingers, streaked with blood. Blood was all the same in the end, wasn’t it? If he punched Maui now, felt his blood ooze over Dipper’s fingers, he wouldn’t be able to tell where Maui’s began and Dipper’s ended. It would all be a beautiful, dark, streak of red.

“Nah, got punched in the face, kiddo,” said not-Dipper, propping himself up on his elbows and looking at Maui. “Girls put up a fight, ya know. Sometimes you gotta show ‘em who’s really boss, right?” He winked and ran his tongue across his top lip, before letting out another piercing laugh.

“Or maybe ya don’t know.” Not-Dipper’s voice got colder, and he sat up fully, turning towards Maui and swinging his legs off the edge of the bed. “Maybe you’re just all talk--I mean, that’s what got you that hook, right?” There was that smile again, and a flash of white teeth that were just slightly too sharp. “Tell your girlfriends that? Or is the one too gone for you to help? Hey! Her friend’s friend’s is a friend of mine--maybe I should swing by the Court again and give her a shake up. Been too long since I saw ol’ Sammy-boy.”

He laughed, then held out his hands again, flexing his fingers and marveling at the joints and the nails and most of all, of course, the blood.

MAUI:

Okay, uhm, what the fuck?

That was Maui’s internal response to all of--that.

His stomach immediately twisted and flipped at what Dipper was...implying. (Remember, Maui was friends with Celia and where the rest of his education might be lacking things like consent were certainly not one of them, not anymore.)

And he knew, right away, that this wasn’t Dipper. At least, not the Dipper that he knew. Shy Dipper, who Maui had to coax into going to parties. The one who blushed when they talked about girls and sex. A Dipper who was--conscious of other people’s feelings.

A Dipper who didn’t know shit about Maui’s secret.

Those words made his heart kick up a notch and he stood up from the bed at once, planting his feet on the ground, his hook within arm’s reach. He stared at this person--both Dipper and definitely Not-Dipper and his gaze was hard.

“Look--I don’t know what the fuck is going on here, but--you are not Dipper.”

Right. Excellent. Good start, Maui.

(not) DIPPER

Maui was certainly not a genius. That much was clear. Not eloquent, not honest, not brave, really. He was all words, all fluff, no substance. The worst kind of person, in not-Dipper’s opinion. If you were gonna talk yourself up, hey, at least have something to show for it.

He stared right at Maui, lips still split in that twisted grin, eyes darker than Dipper’s normally were, pupils deeper and wider, encompassing almost all the iris, the iris encompassing almost all his eye.

Not-Dipper didn’t say anything. He slid off the bed. He stood. He stared right at Maui again, his breathing growing heavy.

Maui wasn’t like Merida. Even though she punched, she was smaller and he had had the advantage at first, catching her off guard. He’d caught Terence off guard too, since Terence had just kissed him and certainly hadn’t expected a punch to the face. But Maui was already on the defense here. His stance was wide. Even though Dipper was technically taller than him, Maui was stronger.

Dipper’s jaw tensed.

He swallowed, his Adam’s apple bobbing.

He stepped towards Maui. They weren’t that far apart to begin with, and within two steps they were just inches apart. Not-Dipper looked straight into Maui’s eyes.

Like with Merida, Dipper’s stance was taller now. Usually, Dipper slouched, but not-Dipper used all of Dipper’s height to his advantage, those extra two inches he had on Maui now apparent.

He exhaled, breathing right onto Maui’s face.

Then he leaned forward and licked Maui’s cheek, swiping his tongue across the skin.

MAUI:

Yeah, maybe Maui wasn’t that smart, but he was--in some ways.

And, y’know, there were only so many magical things that could cause someone to just have a fucking identity crisis and as Definitely-Not-Dipper slipped towards him, looking--frankly--menacing enough to make Maui’s heartbeat fast, he was going through the options.

A curse--that was easy enough to assume.

A possession--even more likely, demon or poltergeist.

God--what was Dipper always going on about? Why did Maui tune him out? He shouldn’t--he needed to know this shit.

His pupils looked weird, kind of like he was cracked out, but worse. They were like black holes. Like if Maui looked into them for too long, he would fall right in. His stomach gave another swooping motion and he was--scared.

Not that he’d show it.

He lifted his chin as this creature got in his face, Maui had been in plenty of fights with dudes bigger than him, and Dipper was a twig (though did the creature have more strength than him?) He felt a flash of white hot anger in all that fear, because that was his friend--his good friend, one of his best friends--and he wanted that thing out of his body.

And then--before he could do anything, the creature leaned forwards and licked his face. His breath was hot and the tongue scratched against the hair on his cheek. It made his stomach squirm and flip over and for a second--it did exactly what he figured it was supposed to do--

Stun him.

It didn’t last long though. As soon as the creature chuckled and leaned back, Maui cocked his fist and caught the creature right in the jaw. He winced a bit, not because it hurt, but because that was his friend he was punching. Technically.

He swiped his hook from the bed as the creature stumbled and he held it out in front of him. Maybe if this was a demon, the hook would be able to...fucking hold him or something. (It was from the Underworld, after all. Even if it was fucking faulty at the moment.)

It seemed to be holding out, because it glowed slightly between them, lighting up those bottomless eyes.

“Get out of my friend,” Maui snarled.

(not) DIPPER

The full force of Maui’s punch hit him in the jaw and not-Dipper relished the pain that it sent through Dipper’s body. His head whipped back and he stumbled, trying to catch himself. He tasted blood on his lips and when he turned back to Maui, he smiled, teeth stained red.

His eyes were black now, completely, the pupils expanded and encompassing. He stared down Maui, smile tightening.

He glanced at the hook in Maui’s hands, a shimmer of fear passing through those black eyes, but then they narrowed, his mouth cracking into a sneer.

“You don’t even know what that’s capable of,” said not-Dipper, and his voice had no trace of Dipper’s soft, scratchy, California accent--no, this was a loud voice, a scathing voice, a voice with all the confidence and bravado that Dipper’s never had. “You’re just a pathetic Mundus hiding behind some hook that you don’t even know how to use.”

He laughed, eyes darting towards the window, wondering how much of a fall Dipper’s body could take. A few broken bones might do this boy some good. Ugh, he had picked such a pathetic vessel--why was it that the ones who were the smartest were also the easiest to be crushed?

Back still pressed against the bed, he took a few steps, trying to play it cool.

“Who knows, Maru?” he sneered. “How much d’you think your mother would hate you if she knew? How much do you think your brothers would turn on you?” With each word, he inched closer and closer to the window. “What would you even do if you didn’t have that thing?” He jutted Dipper’s chin towards the hook. “Do you have any talents? Or are you just some bro who can’t even write a paper without me checking the grammar?”

He looked Maui right in the eye.

“Oh, it felt good to punch me, didn’t it? Because I’m a little shit and I don’t look nearly as good as you--but I’m smarter, I have more going on for me in my life without some magic hook I didn’t deserve.”

And with that, he bolted towards the window.

MAUI:

Now, it was definitely confirmed this monster wasn’t Dipper, as Maui’s knuckles had their own heartbeat and the creature—it was a demon, Maui was pretty sure at this point—smiled large and unnatural, teeth red, like the smile was splitting Dipper’s face apart.

He widened his stance as the creature stood up straight again. The hook was glowing and Maui had no idea what that fucking meant, but he knew what you don’t even know what that’s capable of – meant. It meant that this shithead did know and he was nervous about it, because it could do something to him. Not that Maui knew what, but, well, as long as he had a bit of leverage, that was all he really needed.

His jaw muscle rippled and he wouldn’t let this monster tell him who he was. Wouldn’t let a monster determine who he was going to be. It wasn’t his fucking fault he didn’t know how to use the damn hook. The elders were cagey as shit.

Maui saw his eyes dart to the window and he rocked forwards a bit, onto the balls of his feet, ready to spring into action if he needed to.

He wouldn’t let this monster tell him who he was.

(Even if he was right. He was right.)

And that last thing—that wasn’t true. Sure, Maui was jealous of Dipper sometimes, because Dipper was smart. But, Dipper was also nice, and he shared that knowledge with Maui—as much as he could. Dipper didn’t deserve a demon controlling his every move.

Maui was right on Not-Dipper’s heel as he darted towards the window. It didn’t take him long to catch him around the waist, planting his foot so it tripped Not-Dipper’s foot. Tossing his hip, the both crashed to the ground.

“You’re not getting away that easily,” he growled, as they struggled on the ground, reaching for his hook with one hand. He had the upper hand—on top, his hips over Not-Dipper’s skinny ones, and he was stronger, and bulkier, he might be a few inches shorter than him but he was bulky, dense, made for wrestling around like this.

His hand closed around the hook and with one well-aimed hit, the body beneath him went limp.

[thedipster]

How To Get Along With Your New Roommates: A Guide || The Bros of Room 421

Dipper had lucked out back in Berkley and gotten a single. Well, maybe his social life would’ve been a smidge more exciting if he actually had had a roommate to drag him out once in a while, but living alone definitely had its perks. For one, Dipper was a Very Neat Person. He was the neatest one in his family, which made his mom real proud, made Mabel real annoyed, and made his dad totally indifferent. And messes stressed him out. Unorganized messes stressed him out. And from his experience of dealing with dudes his own age, well, they were usually the epitome of Unorganized Messes.

Unfortunately, at PrideU, there was no such luck, and Dipper found himself at Room 421. It was a suite-style dorm, two bedrooms attached to a little common area with some very generic dorm-style couch and standard issue mini fridge. It took him two and a half trips to cart all his boxes up, and at the end of the half-trip (which was just his backpack and Leonard, the giant stuffed shark, tucked under his arm), Dipper stood a little ways in the doorway, most of his stuff already shoved into 421-B, and pulled out his phone.

Mabel had been giving him the silent treatment, since the beginning of summer. Well, as best of silent treatment that Mabel could give, which meant that though Dipper texted her and their parents updates about his Great Move, she only responded with the poop emoji (and occasionally the angry face one, but it was usually the poop). And yeah, to the whole “Just got all my stuff upstairs!” attached with a selfie of him and Leonard, Mom had said “So cute!!,” Dad had said “Good luck..Dips..” (in typical Benjamin Pines fashion using the incomplete ellipses), and Mabel had sent back a single poop emoji.

He sighed and was about to shove the phone back into his pocket, when he heard the doorknob jangle.

He whirled around on one heel. Alright, Dips, time to make a great impression on your new roommates. You can be cool. You got this.

“Hey!” he said, maybe a little too loudly, raising his hand up, and then suddenly realized he still had his other hand around Leonard, the giant stuffed shark. Great. All prospects of being cool, instantly wiped away. No one could be cool while holding a giant stuffed shark. If you looked up a guide of “how not to impress your potentially totally cool roommates in England,” holding a giant stuffed shark would be entry 2.

Maybe he could recover this by pretending Leonard didn’t exist.

“I’m Dipper,” he said, voice back to a cool, level tone. “Nice to meet you, uh.”

@mischievousmarvelousmagicalmaui

@born-to-battle

[mischievousmarvelousmagical-blog]

👫 sfs, dipuai, lymaui, snow queen, sweet poetry, Alana and Maui sure let's left field here

SFS

tbh daisy was probably lou’s first “crush” tho it was like super sweet and innocent like adelaide would be like “we r going to a party” and lou would be like “maman is daisy gonna be there?” bc he just like chillin with her

i think i talked about this in a thread but they totally got drunk on accident one time when they were like fourteen and it was def daisy’s fault she wanted 2 try the alcohol but lou took the fall anyway

outside of his family, daisy is probably the closest within lou’s inner circle and despite everything he feels comfortable around her which u wouldn’t really think is like a hc but he is so bad at showing it so i just gotta make it CLEAR here

daisy is one of the only ppl who is invited to lou’s house to like watch telly and just--hang out. literally lou doesn’t do that w any of his other friends. well, he’d do it w hades but hades is in the underworld lmao. so yeah, they prolly watch a lot of documentaries and shit.

DIPAUI

maui tries really hard to keep his shit clean but he’s just so bad at it bc he is used to having a mom that cleaned up for him and living in the filth of like five other dudes at all times.

he tries to hook dipper up with people but he also doesn’t push it if he sees dipp getting like--super uncomf

dipper is one of the only ppl maui feels comfortable leaving his hook around like if dipp is studying in the bedroom and maui is hanging in the living room and he’ll just leave his hook on the bed or smth

he actually really likes how smart dipper is, even if it makes him feel dumb and dipp is teaching him better studying techniques and stuff.

LYMAUI

they only had sex that one time. tho, maui wouldn’t really mind doing it again lol

he really likes her hair tbh it kind of reminds him of his mum’s because hers is thick and long, though she normally wears it up--but he probably plays with it a lot like uses it as a mustache or just tugs on it or sweeps it off her shoulder.

he’s always super encouraging of her magic, he’s like hey ly--make me an illusion of a sunset in this bottle eyyy c’mon u can do it!!

i bet they sing a lot together idk i can just see them like hanging out bored so they just start karaoke battling. if there is karaoke night at the court (or even pixie’s) maui totes drags ly on stage w him.

SNOW QUEEN

in the years they weren’t together, snow often sent eva notes via a compelled person bc she probably didn’t know where eva was but she was like “find this person these r the names she uses and dont stop til u do.” and they were like beautiful, wistful love notes. it was probably before each time she moved to a new place.

snow won a tony at one point and (this was b4 they were recorded on tv) she dedicated it and thanked eva for being the one who inspired her to pursue her dreams.

she never really fucked dark haired girls that were pale aha, she either went for other ethnicities or blondes/redheads. 

snow ALWAYS loved eva more than anything, even when she hated her fuck i miss snow why did i kill her someone convince me to bring her back somehow.

SWEET POETRY

sweet def thinks of himself as callie’s dad sometimes and then he’s like stop that she’s a grown woman and also has parents aHH chill sweet /but doesn’t chill.

callie’s emotions are some of sweet’s favorites bc she feels so Wholly and they’re generally like very uncomplicated. gryffs are good for empaths lol

callie has a special visitor’s pass to the hospital that lets her get down to the lower research levels so she can come bring sweet lunch (and hang out w him)

all the hospital staff know callie and tease sweet about how they “didn’t know he had a long lost daughter!! she looks just like you!!” and he just kinda blushes and shrugs them off

MAKING WAVES

they see each other like all the time lmao either they run into each other on campus or at parties or at pixie’s

correct me if im wrong but they’ve probably hooked up again after that initial time

maui thinks she’s kind of a bitch but he also digs it

they’re like?? genuinely friends?? i think?? at least in the like hey let’s sit next to each other in class/grab lunch or hang out if we’re ever in the same spot sure

[calliope-hesiod]

CALLAMBI harsh || SWEET POETRY trend || SNOW QUEEN passage (lol) || LYMAUI foundation || DIPAUI charismatic || ATLANTA behavior

Callie Bambi Harsh

during the Great Schism, Callie was really trying her best to bridge the gaps between the friend group and at one point, Bambi made some pretty mean comment to her about how she couldnt just pick a side and she got really really quiet and almost started crying and he texted her the minute he got home and was like hey,,, im sorry and then sent a meme and ofc they are friends again

Callie Sweet Trend

Callie is trying to get Sweet caught up on internet memes and he’s honestly really behind and still thinks the mannequin challenge is relecant and she’s just like DR. SWEET I LIVED ON AN ISOLATED ISLAND AND I KNOW THAT’S SOOO OUTDATED and he laughs and puts up with her explaining Harambe to him

Snow Queen Passage

There’s a hidden passage in Edelweiss that leads to the middle of the forest. They instilled it there the first time they got run out of Swynlake and all their residences have such a passage just in case things get bad and they need to make a run for it in the middle of the night. :C

Lymantria Maui Foundation

Maui once got a really bad hickey from Unnamed Hookup #7 and Lymantria helped him cover it up with makeup and tbh she did a great job the only person who noticed was Celia and that was after a day of wear and tear

Dipper Maui Charismatic

Dipper is doing that thing where a shy introvert person latches onto a stronger extroverted personality and starts adopting some of their mannerisms like he’s definitely adopted a few of maui’s catch phrases unintentionally 

Alana Attina Behaviour

Alana’s rebellious streak didn’t kick in until Attina had moved out, which meant she got even more free reign than the other sisters since Daddy never really was strict on her and is always fast asleep by the time her curfew comes round. Attina is not pleased but also kinda feels relieved she doesnt have to do the punishing.

[mischievousmarvelousmagical-blog]

Super Smashed Bros ~ [Dipaui]

@thedipster

Maui had take out–Pizza Planet, because he figured something greasy and cheesy and delicious was gonna be much more appealing than Chippamunka’s or Imperial City, which were both objectively great–but way healthier and better quality than a good ol’ greasy pizza slice from Pizza Planet.

And being Americans, Maui figured they deserved some fuckin’ greasy ass pizza and cheap beer.

Maui burst his way into the apartment. “OI!” 

He kicked the door shut with his foot. “I got beer!” he announced cheerily as he wandered wandered over to the couch and flopped down, with enough force to jostle Dipper’s shoulder. Leaning forwards, he placed the twelve pack of beer and the pizza down on the cluttered coffee table, flipping the lid back.

“Shit, I didn’t grab plates.” He looked towards the kitchen. “Ughhh. Sometimes I really wish I had telekinesis.”

[mischievousmarvelousmagical-blog]

Things Have Indeed Gone Wrong ~ [Dipaui]

@thedipster

So, Maui and Dipper had been called to the guidance counselor’s office. Like a few wayward teens who’d acted out in class. This was some bullshit, honestly. What were they supposed to do? Cry and talk about their feelings? It was the end of the school year. If Maui didn’t want to live with Dipper next year, then he didn’t have to live with Dipper. If Dipper didn’t want to live with Maui next year, then he didn’t have to live with Maui. It was as simple as that. And, they’d been dragged down here only because of Dipper in the first place. Which was annoying as hell. He had studying to do! Now, he had to come waste his time here with his wayward roommate.

Full disclosure: Maui and Dipper had not really been speaking much.

On the outside, things were fine. They said hello and asked how each other’s days were. They smiled at each other. They coexisted in a tentative, fragile kind of peace. Thing was--that wasn’t like them at all. Maui was all over Dipper usually like a playful otter, spinning around and around him. Bothering him until he got grumpy and snapped and sent Maui off laughing. They stayed up late talking or watching Buzzfeed Unsolved or other stupid shows that Dipper liked. They studied together and went to the mess hall together and sat next to each other in the classes they had that overlapped.

None of that was happening now.

Not that he was gonna mention that to--

Counselor C. Bubbles? That was a weird fucking name.

He shook his head, knocked, and entered the small, nondescript room with stupid posters that said things like “Hang in There!” on them, with a picture of a kitten hanging onto a branch. Strolling in, he plopped into the chair that was unoccupied. 

Dipper was already in the other one.

“Yo,” he huffed, leaning back and stretching all his long limbs out.