#disclaimer i am not personally into all of these dudes

[deanwinchesterpregnant]

Speaking of things that i like that is a less popular take — I find cis Sam to be a fascinating read and it’s the one I prefer. Like all of my respect to trans Sam enjoyers, I see you and I absolutely see where the read comes from, but to me I find the whole narrative of him being so othered (indeed, he is living the plot of The Yellow Wallpaper as somebody put it) to be SO interesting if he is just cis and he is basically being subject to accusations of female hysteria. It’s another way for him to be othered. the female role is so thrust upon him and I think he’s comfortable in his masculinity — so comfortable that all of dean’s misogynistic insults just roll off his back. I don’t read dean’s insults as transphobic but rather run of the mill misogyny and also a threat (to Dean) that Sam is just chiller with his identity and doesn’t need to posture like his brother does. I was talking to @blacknifealecto about this and they mentioned like being a conventionally attractive man is the only way in which he isn’t othered so it’s just FASCINATING to see him have this experience. To me anyway. A whole other view on American masculinity which is one of the things about supernatural that I love

[libraford]

Here's what's going on in Ohio right now. Heavy stuff ahead.

First, I want to apologize for the misinformation in my original post. I am still learning about legislative processes. To correct: the changes to ODH and OMHAS in regards to gender therapy are not a bill, they are changes in regulations.

This is important because citizens CAN affect rule changes. There is an open commentary period where your submissions get counted and can affect how they write new regulations.

Disclaimer: I am not a lawyer, legal advocate, or medical professional. I'm just a dude who had to have it all explained to me.

The first one is Ohio Mental Health and Addiction Services. The rules proposed would make the already prohibitive process of gender transition even harder. In order to diagnose and treat gender dysphoria, a hospital needs to have a board certified psychologist per patient, a board certified endocrinologist familiar with the age group being diagnosed per patient, and a medical ethicist overseeing the hospital's plan for transition. 'Board certified' does not guarantee that the specialist is trans-friendly. It must include a detransition plan. Hospitals would have to report compliance annually. The professionals must have a contractual relationship with the patient, but do not need to offer in-person care. (In this instance, I'll get to that in the next rule change.)

This rule also deems it impermissible to prescribe gender transition care (this includes hormones, puberty blockers, or drugs) for anyone under the age of 21 without the approval of the professionals mentioned and 6 months of therapy.

There is an exception for intersex people, who may have their sex assigned to them without their consent.

The open comment period for this ends January 19 at 5pm.

Send an email to MH-SOT-rules@mha.ohio.gov with the subject title: "Comments on Gender Transition Care Rules."

The second one is Ohio Department of Health and it repeats a lot of the same as the first one. However, the focus is more on the regulation of doctors and paperwork. Anyone seeking transition will be put into a registry with their name redacted, but demographics like age, agab, specific diagnosis (difficult to achieve with the new regulations mentioned above), and any medications (not just related to gender transition, but any medications at all). Any cessation of care must be reported within 30 days.

This is a lot of paperwork and can overburden hospitals.

That 30 days cessation is important because if a person transfers doctors or if a clinic closes and the paperwork isn't filed, it may count as a 'detransition' when tallying demographics, even if that is not the case.

But what's curious is that the ODH regulations DO require in-person care. The rules are contradictory and vague.

The comment period for this ends Feb 5th.

Send a comment through the ODH website

Here are some important things that were mentioned at the meeting:

This is a good time to be personal with your statements. If this would disrupt your life in any way, please say so. "I fear that" "I believe this" "I worry that"- these are great ways to start your comment. An example one person gave is "I worry that this change in regulations would force me and my daughter to move out of state.'

With that being said, anything that you send to these sites will be public record, so be cautious about what you reveal about yourself in your comment.

If you are in need of help, please reach out to one of these resources:

Trans Ohio Emergency Fund Resource Page

Kaleidoscope Youth Center

If you are in need of legal advice on how to navigate all this, please call

888-LGBT-LAW

This is not everything. There is unfortunately more because Ohio decided to break a record this month with anti-trans motions. But today I'm focusing on things that we can take action on.

[softservecanine]

So How Do I Know if I’m Nonhuman?

Disclaimer: This post is largely targeted toward those who experience or are questioning nonhumanity in a non-physical way, such as therian, otherkin, and some nonhuman alter experiences, as that is the realm I have the most knowledge on. Please keep this in mind going forward.

I’ve been in the alterhuman/therian/nonhuman communities for *checks watch* eight years now, give or take. I’m very confident in my identity as a dog, and I live my life as a dog in a human body every day. I’m very open about it with people in my life. I’m just always like this.

I get asked a lot— in my DMs, in my asks, personally by people I know— how to know if you’re nonhuman.

Unfortunately I do not have an easy answer for that. Finding out you’re nonhuman, and being comfortable with that identity, is a long, confusing process for most. There are so many ways to experience nonhumanity, and a lot of people will tell you narrow definitions based on what their experience looks like.

My experience with finding out I was nonhuman is messy and long, and it took me several years to get as comfortable and as confident in my identity as I am. I know that’s not an answer people like to hear. I know how hard it is to just think “This will take time” and be cool with that.

So I think my biggest piece of advice would be: Don’t be afraid to experiment. Don’t be afraid to get it wrong.

There have been times where I’ve thought I was a wolf, a rabbit, a fox, a dragon, a husky, a bear, all kinds of things, before I finally figured out the right answer for me. I only have one theriotype. My theriotype is psychological and trauma-induced in nature. Yours might not be. You will very likely not experience nonhumanity in the exact same way as anyone else. That’s why it’s so confusing. That’s why it takes so long to understand your own journey.

Look dude. Get the gear you like. Do what makes you feel species euphoric. If you’re so worried about “faking” your nonhuman identity, chances are you’re not. Also? I personally wouldn’t care if someone who identified as nonhuman later retracted that identity, and I don’t know anyone who would care either.

If labeling yourself as some kind of nonhuman feels right to you right now, that’s okay. Your ‘types may change and grow overtime, you may feel more or less connected with them, that is all okay. Experience nonhumanity in a way that works for you right now. There’s not one way to know if you’re nonhuman. But I’d say if the community and the label is right for you, you’ll stay with it, and you’ll be more confident in it over time. And if it isn’t, that’s okay too.

[lovepookie]

♡︎ how enha would ask for a kiss!

♡︎ disclaimer: i am passive-aggressive and sarcastic, so please know im joking!! also i love these men lets bfr 😔

♡︎ warnings: cursing, kissing, suggestive in jake’s and kind of in jay’s?, please lmk if i missed anything!

heeseung ༉‧₊˚.

hmmm okay heeseung! the devil himself. 😣

i think it’d be un-natural for him to ask for a kiss,, like he’d easily just lean in with a smile and kiss you—and you’d let him!

but, I feel like if he does ask beforehand, it’s because he’s doing it on purpose to catch you off gaurd.

like if Jay meticulously thinks about asking before doing so,, this dude would just do it out of nowhere

like simply because you two are having fun type shit.

you’re mid laugh and he’d just stare at you like….my god…that’s the love of my life. :((

“Oh my god, you’re so stupid!” You’d laugh out, hitting him on his shoulder because he sent you a cheesy grin after saying something really idiotic LMAO

he’d grab your hand as you hit him and wouldn’t let it go, urging you closer so you don’t get away

he’d watch you smile and analyze the way your balled fist feels gainst him when you hit him playfully——and he most definitely see’s the way the sides of your eyes crinkle in happiness.

he’s just blown away 🥹

he prolly has a ~this person is all mine~ type of mindset.

“I want you to kiss me.” He’d say out of nowhere.,,,

LIKE!! it’s a command or something,, not even a question! 😧

bcs, he’s not trying to make it sound cliche and ask lmfaooo!

also he hasn’t had enough time to think about it, he just talks out his first thoughts🤕… damn….

but you’d sit there all taken aback and shocked, still trying to retrieve your hand from him 😵‍💫

and he smiles with this pretty teasing smile,,

all happy because he has you flustered like he always does :(((

“What? You don’t want to kiss me?” He asks, head tilting.

and you hit him again

over and over with your fists

“Lee Heeseung! Stop fucking around!” LMFAOOO

and he’d laugh, and laugh and laugh.

then he’d pull you near, clutching your fists and pulling you close

then his pretty lips are still smiling when they touch yours

all light and teasing…

and you’re still fighting him 💀💀

see! so he’d only ask on the basis to make you flustered, but most of the time he doesn’t really think before he kisses you;; he just does it!

jay ༉‧₊˚.

nerd

would probably do a lot of self reflection before ever asking directly for a kiss…

he also strikes me as a dude who would just pull you in naturally instead of asking really…

but!! let’s say he’s asking lol

He’d definitely do the stare at your left eye

lips

then back up to your right eye type of mechanism 😎

he’s so cool! (i’m trying to act like i’m not phased but in reality jay has me in a chokehold)

anyways,,

he’d really set the moment n shît, maybe there’s a couple candles lit,, maybe you two were having dinner and then he followed you to the kitchen to set the dishes in the sink, soft smiles and racing hearts pounding in each of your chests.

he’d definitely set it up nice and throughout the whole dinner he’d been staring at your lips but missed every opportunity given to kiss you bcs of the way you stared into his eyes and down his soul lmao!!

you made him nervous too okay!!

but suddenly, now that you’ve set the dishes down and turned to leave, he’s entrapping you between the kitchen island and his arms.

would definitely use the “can i kiss you?” line.

yet,, it’s mumbled underneath his breathe for only you two to hear and it totally defeats the purpose because he’s already leaning in, pushing your hair out of your face, all with that jaw of his tilting

you know,,

his 🔪 jaw

and as soon as your lips touch, the nerves are gone and bro is a little too confident

🫥

the kiss is all slow and a bit drawn out and long…you taste the minty gum he just disgarded a few minutes ago…

yeah! this is THAT type of kiss

that’s the only way he’d ask imo…

it’s like he’s asking because you know he knows it’s not a regular normal one he’s asking for 🤭

the vibes just have to be right.

wheeew :((

jake ༉‧₊˚.

AUR KAY!

i feel like any chance he gets to kiss you, he’d ask you before-hand all smooth n shît 🙄

it’s actually upsetting because he knows it does shit to you lmao

and he ALWAYS! asks for one when he feels attracted to you in some way :(

for instance; maybe you’d been trying things on from your latest shopping spree and are currently showing him the outfits one by one

this particular one you just showed him would show you and your figure off just right and boy!!! he would be a heated mess !

hands all over you—no time to think

your bodies are pulled very close together just how he likes it…

and he’d go;

“can i have a kiss? or two? or three??” whilst staring down into your eyes. 😣

and you fall for it everytime!

“yes. yes, you may….”

and his lips are on yours

and-and-and! he he hums into your mouth in satisfaction through the kiss….😧

fuck him.

anyways the energy created in the studio would be for baby making is all I’m saying.

but besides this he also asks in wholesome cute times too !

it’s like he doesn’t have any shame almost—or like he takes pride in asking and initiating things.

like imagine y’all laughing together after a continued stream of jokes that you guys take turns layering with more jokes

and he turns to you, intertwining your hand’s with his pretty upturned smile, his bottom lip falling out from between his teeth as he calms down from laughing

“You-…You make me so happy…I really want to kiss you right now.” He’d say, staring over at you.

⚰️.

AND YOU’D LET HIM!! OFC U WOULD BECAUSE I WOULD TOO :((

sickening.

sunghoon ༉‧₊˚.

well well well 😈

you see, our dear hoonies pride would never allow him to ask for a kiss or any type of affection outright,,

he’d only do that once he’s frustrated by you not intituating things after a couple hints here and there.

so let the games commence ☠️🤡

bro would already have pink in his cheeks when he’d clear his throat like the wimp he is,, trying to gather your attention and let you know he wants your affection

pero (but) you already know him already!

you’d smirk and continue to go about your day whilst scrolling on your phone,, acting as if you don’t know what he wants LMAOO

bro would mess with the hem of your shirt or shamelessly crawl his fingers into yours in a non-invasive way so as to not take your full attention in one go because he’s scared you’ll figure him and his needy tsundere self out

jokes on him,, you know exactly wtf he’s doing LMFAOO

he’d continue to clear his throat, getting closer and closer to you before you’d finally utter some words to help him out;

“hoon? you need something?” you’d ask, eyes taking a moment to look at him for the first time in ages.

he’d blush and shoot you a frown,, embarrassed to even get to this point.

“no, not really…do you want to like…do something?” he’d ask.

by this time he’d see the teasing smile make its way onto your face and would groan out in feisty frustration.

“oh my god, you know I want your attention and a kiss…why are you putting me through- a-all of this!?” he’d grumble, throwing your hand away to your side as he walks away LMAOO

poor kid 🥹

you’d laugh and run after him, hands going behind his head/neck and bringing him down to your level, your lips finally connecting.

he’d blush but his stubbornness for your affection wouldn’t allow himself to pull away,,, and THEN his hands would confidently make their way to your sides finally.

see,,,

he just needs a lil ~push~ is all ! ☝️

help the boy out!! 😭

sunoo ༉‧₊˚.

mkay, so I think sunoo is a sweet and cute uwu baby…and I think the way he asks for a kiss would be the same :((

but tell me why!?!?

i think he’d be kind of smooth with it…

like

y’all are in the same room, maybe you’re on the bed with him, his head in your lap as he stares up at you with his honey brown eyes…

you know! THOSE PRETTY EYES 😞

a smile on full display as u play with his hair

and he just stares at you,, taking you in with love :(

then at one point he notices your lip gloss.

“y/n?”

“mhm?”

“your gloss looks really pretty…can I try it?”

and you’re like 😊 😧 😳

because oh man I think he’s flirting!

and he laughs at you as you go pink…

y’all are so cute :(

but he’s not going to stop there—he still hasn’t retrieved his kiss ‼️

“…you’re so cute…can I have a kiss?” he’d ask through a smile, deciding to just be straightforward with it. he’s not going to get anywhere without being direct—by the looks of your flustered state anyways lol!

and you’d nod,, not wanting to utter any words in fear that you’d say the wrong thing lmao

you’d just lean down and peck his pretty lips.

it’s quick!

but sunoo is more than satisfied—and when you pull away he’s pursing his lips to spread the gloss you left behind on them and then he watches as you go even redder :(

he’s picking up too much from his hyungs mayhaps 😟

((the office camera pans to you sitting in a corner,, an absolute blushing mess))

jungwon ༉‧₊˚.

this duuuudeeee

okay hear me out!

i don’t think wonnie ever makes advances first

like the others definitely will,, but he strikes me as he’d never

no matter how much he’d want to

like he’d have to be really serious for him to do it lmao!

i think instead,,, it’d be like you’re already leaning in,, maybe it’s a soft moment and y’all are just laying in bed or on the couch cuddling

because jungwon strikes me as a kid who would never actively do PDA,, but when you are alone he’d cling onto you and follow you around, hands to his sides and his chin on your shoulder from behind

or like he’d play with your hands

OR! hear me out!

bro would put you in headlocks just to be closer to you in a funny way

💀💀💀 jsjsj

that’d be so funny lmao

anyways back to the purpose of this whole thing,,

wonnie would be the little spoon until he turns around because you started to speak on something funny that he wants to hear you say again or sum

so he spins around, your arms still around his waist

like the baby girl he is ☝️😌

and he’s just smiling that ugly scary ass smile

and your faces are so close

so when you go quiet after a giggle and glance at his lips

HE SEE’S IT ALL!

and you’re probably already leaning in but haven’t got the guts to fully go for it

so he’d say some shit like

“are you thinking what I’m thinking?” 😭

LIKE? SHUT UP LMAOO

it makes you laugh msksksksj

and he giggles back too :((

then you’re leaning in for him and muah! 🥹

so u see….

he’d never ask,,; but would instead say some dumb shit to kind of insinuate he wants a kiss

another example;

*gets really close to you*

*small silence*

“you want to kiss me, don’t you?” he’d say teasingly

JSJSJSJS MF?

even tho he got close first??

….

fuck off. :(

niki ༉‧₊˚.

sjsj

okay so…

we got riki up…

this kid….🫥

tbh I think if he wants a kiss, he would never ask out loud.

would probably do some type of gesture or something to get your attention and lead you on to kiss him lmao

for example ☝️

he’d walk up to wherever you’re sat, lean over and just get real close to you,, then he’ll proceed to tilt his head and tap his cheek.😒

tap tap…

with that playful smirk of his smh.

now this is all fun and games..so you roll your eyes but kiss his cheek nonetheless..

then this guy! 😠

he’ll tap his other cheek.

so—

muah.

that one gets a kiss too.

he giggles as you stare at him because you’ve done this enough times to know exactly what he wants next.

his pointer finger goes to his lips, and for a second you see his cheeky beauty…the mole on his chin doing no favors for his pretty playful self.

so you decide to give him the kiss of a lifetime bcs HE should be embarrassed!

not you!!! 😣

you confidently grab both sides of his face in your hands and you let the kiss you plant on his lips last a little longer than a peck.

when you pull away he’s still got that cheeky smile,, but now he’s all red in the face and neck and proceeds to scurry off.

brat! 🙄

(we love niki in this household!)

2024 © lovepookie

♡ ︎please do not plagarize, repost, copy or translate any of my works. thank you.

[ajaegerpilot]

sometimes im like i guess i could do pregnancy to get a baby at the end of it given how difficult it is for single or lgbt people to adopt. but truly with the way abortion rights are threatened is really solidifying it to me right now that of all the things that could happen to me in my life, being pregnant and especially being forced to be pregnant would literally be among the worst things that could ever happen to me. if i ever got pregnant, like i wouldn't rest until i got the abortion. i never want to be pregnant even for a day, not even for a minute.

dont rebl*g

[livums]

Liv’s {Totally Optional Non-Mandatory Completely Voluntary} Pointers for Fleshing Out Character Relationships

Hi I’m liv e. and by middling demand I am going to blab a liiittle* bit about relationships.

So I will start by saying that I’m trained & licensed as a marriage and family therapist. So this is kind of what I do all fucking week. And I like this whole writeblr thing so why not make it fun and about fiction instead. LOL.

The purpose of this liiiiittle** post is to offer some ways in which you, a writer (great job btw!), might deepen your own understanding of the relationships between two or more characters in your writing. More specifically, by thinking a little deeper about how relationships function in real life.

These are ways in which I might conceptualize a relationship between people who seek my services as a clinician.

A small disclaimer: the VAST majority of my work is with couples (because I. prefer to see couples over families, lol), so this advice is coming from that perspective. Please keep in mind also that there are certainly infinite other ways to think about relationships. This is just the way I was trained. Or at least, the parts of my training that resonated with me the most, especially as I began writing more seriously.

My hope is that reading and practicing/toying around with these tips will help add another dimension to how relationships play out in your writing. So um. Cheers! Let’s chat.

*it’s not a little. it’s a lot.

**it’s a long post.

i. What I Say vs. What I Mean

When was the last time your partner or good friend pissed you off?

Maybe they were flippant about your feelings. Maybe they blew you off to hang out with someone else. Maybe they keep loading the dishwasher like a neanderthal.

And did you say to them, “Baby/honey/sweetums/bestie, it really upsets me when you load the dishwasher like that. I’ve asked you to do it X way several times, and it feels like you’re not listening to me, or that you don’t care about how I feel” ?

Probably not? Because, hello? (If you did, first try, then, wow! you’re a better person than i’ll ever be.)

You might’ve said “Dude, stop cramming shit in the dishwasher like it’s a fucking suitcase,” or “Haha, wow, again with the dishwasher. Awesome. No, it’s like, whatever.“ Or you might not’ve said anything at all, on purpose.

There is a tension that exists, there, in the CONTRAST between what we are thinking/feeling/meaning (e.g., I love you/I miss you/You hurt me) and what we are communicating via our words and actions (e.g., You never make time for me/You’re so lazy/You’re such a(n) [expletive of choice]).

That tension is ... really fucking interesting to read, huh!

Personally, I have a lot of fun watching the needs/wants/feelings of a character (that we might be privy to, as readers) get filtered through their unique... voice.

So say you write a character who is quite rough around the edges, and not very skilled in affection. They have a deep yearning to be close to [love interest], but they just aren’t accustomed to languaging their true feelings. Maybe we see how scared they are of putting their feelings out there. It’s vulnerable. It’s terrifying.

So instead of “I really care about you, [love interest]”, maybe it comes out something more like “Don’t you have anything better to do with your time than follow me around all fucking day?”

And we, the readers, are like, wow! That’s not what you were thinking at all man! You’re so bad at this, that’s awesome.

So the point of all this is that it’s very helpful to clarify for yourself, in any meaningful interaction between characters in or soon-to-be-in a relationship:

What are the characters individually thinking during this interaction? What are the emotions that are present? How does it show in their body or their movements? Are they careful not to let these things show, or do they not notice at all?

How are they expecting this interaction to go? (Are they afraid something might go wrong? Are they looking for a certain reaction from each other?)

What DON’T they know about what the other person is thinking? What are their assumptions about how the other person perceives them--in general, and in this moment?

What is the GAP or the CONTRAST between all of the above and what actually ends up coming out of their mouth? Or what actions they end up physically taking (or not taking)?

Are the characters aware of their own contrast, here? How do they feel about it? Or, do they think they are being perfectly congruent?

In this way, you have the ability, as a writer, to create some devastatingly (or delightfully) poignant moments between characters. These are the moments that can really sell the reader on the relationship--its importance (why are you showing us this?) and its appeal (thank you for showing us this, this blew our tits off, etc).

ii. Tender Spots and How to Attack Them for Fun and Profit

So we’ve got issues.

What are the things that really fuckin get at you? Those topics that, when brought up, make you really upset and really defensive at like, mach speed. Maybe you’re insecure about your skills. Maybe it really bothers you when people see you as weak/unintelligent/a burden/unattractive. Maybe you have a rough and complicated relationship with a family member.

So these can be thought of as, like, tender spots (lol). You can also think of them as “raw” spots, sensitive spots, or triggers.

Figure out what your characters’ are!

This is another key way in which you can create deep and believable interpersonal drama--Character A (accidentally or intentionally) stomps all over Character B’s sensitive spots. So to speak.

A very cursory and relatively uncomplicated example of this in action:

Tasha and Mimi are two adults in a committed partnership.

Mimi’s got a real fucking chip on her shoulder about being seen as a burden--her father always went to great lengths to make sure she knew just how much he did for her, just how many opportunities he passed up in order to raise her, just how great his life would have been if she’d never been born.

Tasha is the oldest of five siblings. She was frequently tasked with their care, growing up. She did her best not to complain, as her parents were always very busy working to keep a roof over their head. So, Tasha did her part. She would’ve loved to rest and play and goof off like other kids and teens, sure, but it never felt possible with all of her responsibilities.

Mimi is suddenly injured and is unable to do certain things on her own that she had been doing before. Tasha goes about taking care of these things as well as taking on certain other tasks on her own that the pair of them may have tackled as a team before. Tasha feels stretched very thin by the workload, but is deeply concerned about how Mimi feels. There’s nothing to be done about the situation, she reasons, so there’s no point in complaining about how stressed out she is.

Mimi offers to help to the best of her ability, but Tasha is very concerned about her, and insists that Mimi rest and not exert herself. Mimi insists back. Tasha insists back back.

Mimi points out how stressed Tasha must be. Tasha agrees that she is stressed, but does not elaborate on her feelings. Mimi assumes that Tasha must think that she is a burden.

Mimi then becomes very emotionally activated--she is reminded, consciously or unconsciously, of how shitty it felt to have her father tell her over and over again what a burden she is, and how better off he would be without her. So this must be how Tasha really feels about her, Mimi accuses.

Tasha, who is very stressed but who cares very deeply for Mimi and her well-being, and who does not see Mimi as just a burden, becomes very activated in turn--she feels maligned and misunderstood. And now she certainly can’t talk about how stressed out she is, because it will only convince Mimi that she is right.

So Tasha is now convinced that she must continue to hold her feelings in in order to keep the peace--she’s reminded of her childhood spent taking care of others, and how she never felt allowed to express herself.

This example is obviously from a very zoomed-out view, chronologically, and is not exactly the way we would see it written in fiction (fiction is much more moment-by-moment and, well, exciting, usually). BUT we can see where Tasha and Mimi’s sensitivities lie, and how they specifically hurt each other with their behavior (unintentionally, in this case) by stomping RIGHT ON those sensitivities.

Readers love drama. And drama makes the plot go ‘round! So don’t be afraid to lay it on them!

In your (very good and compelling) writing, ESPECIALLY if you want to write engaging relational conflict, you would do well to clarify what your characters’ deepest sensitivities are. Consider the following:

What needs went unmet for them, growing up? A very cliche therapist-y question, but for good reason--our upbringing is where many of our deepest insecurities originate.

Additionally/alternatively, what do your characters understand to be their role in relation to other people? E.g., are they always the caretaker, the burden, the comic relief, the heartbreaker, the lonely hero, the boss? How did they first get this idea of who they’re ‘supposed’ to be towards others, and how was this reinforced throughout their life? Are they satisfied or dissatisfied with their ‘lot in life’? What do they hate about their ‘role’, if anything?

What sorts of situations might remind them of what they hate most about this role? E.g. ‘I enjoy taking care of others, and I’m good at it, but my partner gets upset if I discuss how stressed I get sometimes--I’m never allowed to express myself.’ How can you incorporate these situations into your story to create conflict?

How does your character respond when these sensitivities are triggered? Do they lash out? Do they retreat and get quiet? Do they ghost people altogether?

What do they think will happen if they are unwilling or unable to fulfill this role in their relationships with others? E.g., ‘My partner will leave me if I am not a good caretaker’, ‘Nothing will get done right if I’m not the one taking charge’, ‘If I don’t keep others at arms’ length, even if they say they love me, I’ll end up hurt.’

This is another way in which you can help your relationships really come to life! Anyways. Read on for more cheer and relational joy!

iii. We’re Attracted to What Hurts Us Sometimes, AKA Oops! I Ran into the Knife, Ten Times,

(less of a part 3 and more a part 2.5, but it was simply too long. so,)

So maybe you have a good idea of what your ideal partner/bestie looks like. It’s probably any number of positive traits: kind, considerate, good sense of humor, shapely posterior, ambitious, active, fun-loving, studious, etc.

What probably don’t make the list are things like: emotionally distant like my mother with whom I long to have a reparative experience.

Maybe you’ve witnessed (or been in) a relationship wherein all parties can be described as ‘just so bad for each other’. And maybe this relationship should not have lasted as long as it did (or shouldn’t be lasting as long as it is). And maybe you’re like--’Why are these assholes still together?’ Or, importantly: ‘Why did these assholes get together at all?’ The answer may surprise you! But more likely, it won’t.

Sometimes, we pick people on purpose specifically because they stab us right in the sensitive spot (again. so to speak).

(i should clarify before moving on: I am specifically NOT talking about relational abuse, here. That’s kind of an entirely different subject that is like. the cousin of this subject. In this discussion, I specifically mean relationships in which there is no major power differential--you’re just bad for each other. These relationships can be what we might call ‘toxic’, sure, and painful, but not abusive. The distinction is important, moving forward. ok ty)

[Author’s Note: I need everyone to know that I wrote and subsequently deleted 700 words here because I realized they didn’t make any fucking sense ok. let’s try this one more time.]

Essentially, it’s a known phenomenon among humans that, when we have experience with relational distress in the past (e.g. a partner who neglected you emotionally, or parents who disregarded boundaries you tried to set), we like to seek out similar people with whom to form relationships. Weird! But not really.

The human brain seeks closure and resolution--where we couldn’t get things to work out with our parents, or our exes, we try to get the same situations to work out next time, with someone new.

Let’s look at another example, together. Take my hand,

Suppose you write a character (Character A) whose mother was in and out of their life from a young age, and never seemed to prioritize them. Now suppose you are looking to craft a fraught or tragic or dramatic romance (or other relationship) with this character. Using what you’ve written of your first character’s backstory, you can do just that!

It’s perfectly believable, you know now, for your Character A to pursue a love interest (Character B) who has a tendency to... not want to stick around. Maybe this love interest seems to fear commitment and intimacy.

Now, maybe Character B in actuality has a very dangerous profession that requires that they maintain the utmost discretion, and be ready to flee anywhere at a moment’s notice. Maybe the fate of the city/kingdom/nation/world relies on B’s profession.

It probably doesn’t make them leaving all the time hurt A any less, though.

Character A, unconsciously or not, is determined to make things work this time around. As the relationship deepens, B is faced again and again with the choice--stay, for your love, or go, as duty commands. Maybe they’ve taken a vow for their profession that is no light thing. They leave, time and time again.

Character A, unconsciously or not, remembers this feeling--it’s an old one. Mother, time and time again, chose something else over them. It would be understandable for A to feel a deep anger towards Mom and B both. Maybe A takes drastic action to get back at B (action that is also, symbolically, retaliatory towards Mom)--maybe they cheat on B, or do something that endangers their own safety.

When all they really want is just to get B to stay.

It’s probably very clear now why it’s not so simple a thing for A to choose to date someone more consistent--this is something that goes beyond B alone.

In this way, you can very easily weave themes into the relationship(s) of your main characters. Maybe the story of A explores the pain of abandonment, or loneliness. If B is the protagonist, maybe the story explores the way we excuse our shitty behavior in relationships (maybe the job is a pretext--maybe they really are scared of commitment), or maybe it’s about the dilemma of duty over love.

Relationships don’t always make sense. Or rather, they do make sense, just in a different way than we might expect. You can use this understanding now to intentionally explore a number of complex relationship dynamics, and to create nuanced (but sympathetic) characters. As you do, consider:

In your existing characters’ relationships--what keeps these assholes together? Why do they have to be with each other, as opposed to anyone else? This is important, again, for selling the reader on the relationship, especially if it’s your work’s main relationship.

What initially attracted your characters to each other? Consider again from the previous section (what is this, a fucking textbook?) the historically unmet needs of your character(s).

How do your characters go about expressing their needs? Think again about CONTRAST here--what is the discrepancy between what the actual need is, and how the character seeks to fulfill it? E.g. ‘I need to keep B from leaving me, because it really hurts me when they go, so I’ll go risk my life just to keep their attention (rather than express this pain to them).’

What similarities, if any, exist between your MC’s relationships with the people in their present lives, and your MC’s childhood relationship(s) with their caregiver(s)? Could you expand on/deepen any similarities in your writing? What themes might emerge if you did?

iv. Change / The Arc

So you’ve got your work’s central relationship. It’s believable, it’s just the right amount of dramatic, it’s suitably tragic, and just all-around devastating. People will cry. Great job!

Now what?

Well, that depends--what ending do you envision for your relationship?

If they remain together, do they get the happily ever after? The happy-for-now? Is the reader left to wonder about whether or not their relationship will survive?

Do they not make it at all? Are they separated by tragedy? Do they crash and burn? Or maybe they try their best, but despite how badly they love each other, it’s just not enough?

Whatever the Point B of the relationship is, if it’s central to the work, you’re gonna want to have a clear arc in there. Or not, idk, I’m not your mom.

You might already know, if you inhale every piece of writing advice you come across (like me), what makes a compelling character arc. The good news is that it’s much the same with relationships! Kind of.

Systems (relationships) tend towards homeostasis. Without deliberate intervention, relationships want to remain the way they’ve always been. Just like people!

And just like characters, relationships need a reason to change. Like a catalyst, or a motivation. Whatever the hell you wanna call it.

It’s not always, like, complicated to figure out the driving force behind change in your central relationships. Sometimes the pieces fall together!

Pay attention to the characters within the relationship--as your characters progress through their arcs, their relationship will naturally shift. It will probably not look exactly the same as it did when it began--there might be similarities, of course (they’re not entirely different people.. usually. And there’s a beauty to bookending a story with the familiar, certainly). But in this case, the relationship can be thought of as an extra character, almost. It’s unsatisfying to read a whole story wherein a central character stays exactly the same. It’s further strange and incongruent for a relationship to stay exactly the same while the characters have like, achieved actualization or whatever.

Outside events can force change on a relationship, just as they do individual characters. A couple that’s close to Characters A and B get married--and A & B start to wonder what their future together even looks like. B’s company hires a fiiiine honey, who’s exactly B’s type, and A starts steaming about it. A pandemic ravages the nation, and to prevent the spread of the virus, A and B have to stay inside togeth

YOU GET IT ok anyways I’m fucking tired of writing. If you’re wanting to develop the arc of your MCs’ relationship(s), think on some of this:

Do your characters see any problem(s) present in their relationship? Are they all equally aware of the problem(s)? Do they agree on what the problem(s) are?

How secure are your characters in their relationship? If anything could possibly cause doubt and conflict to arise, what is it?

Where do your characters see their relationship going in the near future? In the far future? Do their visions align? If not, how do they differ? Do they even want the same thing?

Is the arc of the central relationship congruent with the arcs of the characters who comprise it? I.e. does the relationship remain exactly the same as it was when it started, despite the characters undergoing wild metamorphoses? Is the reverse true?

When you think about their relationship, INDEPENDENT of any ending you may already have decided, where do you see it going? Like, where do these people feel like they’re headed, realistically? Does this align with the ending you’ve decided on for them? If not, this doesn’t mean you’ve written a bad relationship or anything, it’s just a possible sign that some really intense shit might have to happen in order to shift their course, y’know? Or not--the world is your oyster and you are the God of your own creation!

What are you trying to say with your story, and do the arcs of the central relationships reflect that message?

final thots

If you read all that shit, thank you. I wrote it all in one sitting and posted it without proofreading 💜

In all seriousness, I want to emphasize that, although some of these aspects of relationships are most visible in rels with a lot of anguish and maybe even some toxicity, you by no means have to write this kind of relationship in order to make use of these tips. You could write a very Normal couple!

The idea is to offer you some avenues through which to consider aspects of your characters’ psychology and personalities, and how they mesh or clash with their partners’ or besties’.

Anyways I hope this was helpful. I love talking about relationships I could literally go on and on all day. Which I kind of just did so. lol.

I’ve been liv and I’ve got two main WIPs I’m working on right now: The Romance of the Demigods and The Marking Blood and they’re full of really really super normal relationships and examples of me definitely taking my own fucking advice.

Cheers and happy writing! 💖💖💖

[prismatic-bell]

So @hejeksbs saw that post about fandom olds freaking out about IWTV stuff being posted on the AO3, and said they’re new to fandom and fandom culture and don’t understand. So congrats, Hejek, you’re one of today’s lucky 10,000. This is going to be a basic primer, but I encourage others to chime in with details. (Also, thanks for reminding me I need an Interview exhibit in the museum. I had that written down somewhere.)

So if you go back to the 1990s and early 2000s—the pre-AO3 digital years—you’re going to see an official disclaimer on just about every fic. These basically said “I don’t own anything here, please don’t sue me.” Some were quoted elaborate.

These started because of Anne Rice.

See, Anne Rice was, how can I say this nicely…an asshole? The day she died there were literally people posting crab rave and “Ding Dong, The Witch Is Dead” from The Wizard of Oz on Tumblr. Because before Harry Potter fanfiction was pretty frowned upon and you might get a C&D if you didn’t keep your head down properly, but Anne Rice.

ANNE RICE.

Anne Rice literally recruited her “loyal fans” to harass people who made fanworks. At least one person was doxxed to her workplace by rabid Ricers, and at the time fanfiction was taboo enough you could absolutely get fired for that. I was eleven and friends with someone who was 13 who’d just read Interview and drew this wonky I-am-a-kid-who-can’t-really-draw-yet-but-I-loved-this-SO-MUCH piece of fanart of Louis and Lestat, and she literally dipped off the internet because she got an extremely nasty “I’m suing you” threat from Rice. (Are you out there, Mercury000? It’s me, sailorsharon0722.)

Anne Rice did everything in her power to ensure there was no IWTV fandom at all. I’ve heard from people older than me that she used to host a “vampire’s ball” every year in New Orleans for her “loyal fans” but if you showed up and she felt your costume outshone her own, she’d make you leave. People didn’t dare so much as put “Lestat” and “fanfiction” in the same sentence.

And then, irony of ironies, when her reputation got so bad she was struggling to sell books, she…became a Christian and started writing Bible fanfiction to sell.

Yeah.

Over the years there were claims she’d changed her mind about fanfiction, but nobody ever had evidence to back this up. I even saw a dude on Quora claiming to be a close friend of hers saying we were all lying, and he got absolutely ratioed by fans going “I still have my C&D letter, you wanna fucking try again?”

Incidentally, I would like to point out that her attitude wasn’t uniform. It’s easy to say “that’s just how it was,” but Neil Gaiman has been around since the 1980s and has always appreciated fanfiction. Stephen King’s approach is “please tell me, to my face, that me explicitly writing about Cthulhu isn’t fanfiction” and otherwise pretty lassez-faire (he has no interest in knowing you’re writing fanfiction of his stuff, he just genuinely doesn’t care), and his first book was published in the early 1970s. Gene Roddenberry, creator of Star Trek, actually accepted submissions of fanfiction scripts DURING THE SHOW’S ORIGINAL RUN, at least according to popular lore. (@dduane, can you check me on this?) Mercedes Lackey—who’s 1980s-and-1990s fantasy royalty—has been asked on Quora about why she “changed her mind about fanfiction” and her response was “I never changed my mind, I just had to talk my publisher into accepting it. I’ve always been okay with it but I had to say no because of my contract.” Sure, Diana Galbaldon was out there comparing fanfiction to rape(????), but even among those who disapproved of fanfiction, Rice’s attitude and actions were extreme. And they persisted into the 2000s, too, with her egging on fans who harassed and sent death threats to a YouTube reviewer who didn’t like one of her books.

AO3 changed ALL of that.

AO3 said “here is our well-researched legal claim that fanfiction is legal, and if someone gives you shit about works you have posted on our website, our lawyers will represent you. You can post safely here. It’s okay. We got your back.”

Even so, the fear about Anne Rice continued. And can you blame people? This woman’s name held the same power in fannish conversations as “Voldemort.” (A moniker by which I’ve actually heard her called.) She all but destroyed the old guard, on purpose.

….and then a new generation of fans happened. A new generation that didn’t remember life before AO3, had never known anyone who literally had to move house to get away from Rice’s minions’ threats and harassment. I know we use “nature is healing” as a joke on this website, but really truly, that’s what happened here. She left charred tree trunks and bushes that were old-school fans and from their ashes tiny little 2010s-fans seedlings began to grow.

The thousand-odd fics you saw in those screenshots (which I feel I should clarify are from before the new show came out—a show that must have her turning in her grave, because she was absolutely adamant that all her vampires were STRAIGHT and if you thought otherwise you were DISGUSTING, and I hope she spins so hard her corpse combusts) are absolutely shocking to us older fans because it’s like staggering out of a nuclear wasteland and spotting a little garden with signs saying “free nuclear-illness medical services” and realizing it’s real. What the fuck, what the fuck, but also, holy shit y’all we’re so proud of you. YES. Keep going. Don’t let the witch get you down.

EDIT: I’ve been informed by someone in the notes that IT ACTUALLY GETS WORSE:

I’m not going to transcribe the whole thing because I’m on mobile and most of it is just bog-standard post notes, but what’s relevant is @theoriginalvelocipastor saying “OP forgot the part where she [Anne Rice] would take ideas from fanfiction.”

Like holy motherFUCKER this woman’s hypocrisy.

[hauntedestheart]

Transcript: "You Know The Face" Episode 47 - Blaise Gigson

Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction and resemblance to any real life persons is completely intentional, lol, but to spare the virgin eyes of the search algorithm I changed the name.

[Theme tune plays]

Arsenio: Hey there listeners, welcome back to "You Know The Face," the best podcast out there devoted to discussing the great changes that The Great Shift brought about.

Arsenio: As always, I'm your host Arsenio Braxton, still here and still me, and for this episode I'm by a very special guest- you might know the face, Blaise Gigson is here in the studio! Hi Blaise, welcome to the pod.

Blaise: Hey Arsenio! Thanks having me, I'm a huge fan of the show. This podcast is like, the soundtrack to my morning runs.

Arsenio: Oh my god, dude, I'm blushing! You've been one of our most requested guests for a while now so it's such a pleasure to finally have you here in the studio with us. And I want to let the listeners at home know, this guy is even bigger in person.

Blaise: Okay, now you're making me blush. I'll admit it, I always do fifty pushups before getting on camera just to make sure I look my best- does that make me sound weird?

Arsenio: I mean, it's healthier than my pre-show ritual, which is just a Red Bull and a shot of vodka. Now I'm gonna be calling you Blaise, but that wasn't the name you were born with, right?

Blaise: Yup, just like most people I was shifted into this body.

Arsenio: BUT, unlike most people, after the shift you decided to adopt the name of the original owner of that body. What inspired you to make that choice?

Blaise: Well I flipped a coin and- nah, I'm just joking. How do I explain this... the shift changed everything, you know? Not just our bodies, but the whole world. I don't really think that any of us are who we used to be, even the people who didn't shift, so taking on a new name just felt natural. Plus I think I'm kind of a special case since I swapped into a celebrity- I get recognized all the time, every day people come up to me on the street and call me "Blaise," so I figured I might as well just embrace that.

Arsenio: Oh that's true, I never thought of it like that. See, that's what I love about doing this show- getting all of these different perspectives. A lot of the people I talk to on this pod mention that they try stay connected to who they were before the shift, but it sounds like you're just full steam ahead. You very famously don't like to talk about who you were before at all, is that right?

Blaise: Nah, not really. A lot of people think that means I was a criminal or something and I'd like to say for the record that I was not, but I don't like to sweat the small things like who I used to be. I'm just focused on who I am today! And I think I make a pretty good Blaise Gigson, don't you?

Arsenio: Absolutely, man, you're crushing it. But I gotta ask, has the real Blaise Gigson tried to get in contact with you?"

Blaise: Try, like, eight Blaise Gigsons. That's the thing about swapping with a celebrity- there's a lot of creeps out there who were obsessed with you that think about this as their chance to get in on the action. Since it was impossible to figure out who was telling the truth, I had to just block all of them. For safety reasons.

Arsenio: Oh, so you don't talk to any of them? But aren't you worried you might be shutting out the real Blaise?

Blaise: Well, wherever he is he can rest easy knowing that I'm taking good care of his body. If you're out there watching Blaise, this one's for you!

Arsenio: Oh, and there it is! The famous bicep. Would you mind doing it again, just for me?

Blaise: Mind? I'd love to, these things are awesome.

Arsenio: No arguments here... actually, let's pivot and talk about that for a second. Now, we all knew that Blaise Gigson was a hottie with a body, but you've sexed up his image a lot since assuming the reigns. I'm sure most of our listeners have probably seen a certain viral video-

Blaise: The workout stream, yeah.

Arsenio: Dude. you broke the internet with that one! Seeing you all hot and sweaty, flexing all those muscles on the floor... pretty iconic if you ask me. Can one of the producers insert the clip here?

Arsenio: Damn daddy! Sorry, I shouldn't be thirsting over you while you're right here in front of me, they're gonna have to edit this part out or else before get cancelled haha.

Blaise: Nah, don't sweat it man. Trust me, no one gets it more than I do- you think looking at this body is great? Try living in it. Like, I'll admit it, I get turned on watching those clips too. I look fucking hot there.

Arsenio: So I think it's safe to say the "himboification" of the Blaise Gigson brand was a conscious decision on your part?

Blaise: Honestly? A little bit yes, a little bit no. I mean, it wasn't something I planned on when I first got this body, it just kind of happened. Like one day I just woke up and I was a famous hunk... of course I was gonna get a little wild, right? I couldn't resist showing off a bit. At first I was worried that I was going a bit overboard but people have really been responding to it.

Arsenio: Yeah I'm sure there are a lot of people out there who "responded" to that video, if you catch my drift.

Blaise: I hope so! I mean, think about it. When I was just a nobody sitting at home I would have killed to see my celebrity crushes take their clothes off and just, I don't know, start slutting it up. And so now that I am one of those guys I used to dream about, I wanna make that fantasy a reality for everybody else.

Blaise: Like, come on, don't the people deserve to see all of this?

Arsenio: I completely agree. Actually, could we see a little bit more, for the camera? Or even just for me?

Blaise: Haha, maybe later.

Arsenio: Alright, I'm gonna hold you to that. But we should probably get moving or else this episode is gonna wind up being four hours, haha. As the listeners know, I started this podcast because I was one of the few people not affected by The Great Shift, so I'm always fascinated by the stories of people who were. Let's get yours Blaise- can you walk us through your shift experience? What was it like for you that first morning?

Blaise: The thing I'll always remember about waking up was the weight. Being in a body like this one that's built like a tank, that's a lot of muscle, and muscle is one of the heaviest things in the body. I knew something was different before I even opened my eyes because I could feel how much space I was occupying. And that kinda freaked me out!

Blaise: But all of that weight is actually strength, and the second I started moving I knew that whatever had happened to me was a good thing.

Blaise: I'll never forget this- the first thing I saw when I opened my eyes and looked down was this giant chest blocking my view. I was so confused I tried like, wipe them off because I thought they were something stuck to me, but nope! I just had massive pecs all of the sudden. And then I got distracted just, like, squeezing them.

Arsenio: That's so funny- I hear that exact same story all the time, but from shifted women. I think you're the first guy to have the classic "boob grab" experience, haha!

Blaise: Hey, it's a classic for a reason! I say when you've got tits like these, you give 'em a squeeze. But I realized pretty quickly that there was a whole body underneath my chest, and that... woof. I was actually confused at first because I'd never touched a six-pack before so I was like "what the fuck is going on with my stomach" when I first felt it- I wasn't used to my body being so hard.

Blaise: The new core strength was incredible too- like, just sitting up felt better than it ever had before. And when I sat up and the blankets slid off of me and I saw my new body for the first time, I was shocked. I'd never seen someone with that many muscles in my life, and suddenly I had the best seat in the house. And by "best seat," I mean I had a dump truck ass.

Arsenio: Sounds like you were in bed for a minute then.

Blaise: A minute? Try two hours. I was alone with the body of my dreams and I could do anything with it, so I- well, you can probably guess what I did next.

Arsenio: I bet I can and I would love to hear about it, maybe even see a demonstration, but I think we should move on before we get demonetized. When you finally got out of bed, did you recognize yourself when you looked in the mirror?

Blaise: Recognize myself? Dude, I basically creamed myself. Blaise was one of my biggest celebrity crushes and seeing that face staring back at me from the mirror... just, words can't even describe it. Having all of this body and the face to match? The beard? This jawline? These lips? I'm handsome as fuck.

Arsenio: Dude, I'm so jealous right now you have no idea. So you weren't scared that you'd woken up in a completely new body?

Blaise: I mean, I was confused, but I thought it was just me, you know? I thought it was some kind of Freaky Friday situation and I'd just been zapped into this body so like, he could learn a lesson about the meaning of Christmas or something. I didn't learn about the shift until later.

Arsenio: And then did you freak?

Blaise: Nah. I feel selfish when I say that because I know how scared so many people are, and I feel for them I really do, but I was excited. I wasn't really thinking about anybody else, I was just excited to be Blaise.

Arsenio: And so we're heading on over a year since the shift- how are you settling in to your new body? It's quite an impressive physique and you've maintained it well.

Blaise: Thanks- keeping up with the gym routine was definitely one of my top priorities. Letting a body like this go to waste would have been a tragedy.

Blaise: But to answer your question, I'm still not entirely used to this body yet, and honestly, I hope I never am. It's fun always feeling surprised, you know? I'll just be going about my day and then I'll catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror and remember that holy shit, I'm a fucking stud, and I get excited all over again. It hits me at the strangest times.

Blaise: Muscles are cool because they're like... they're always there, you know? I get a little show every time I look down. And the thing about it is- I'm not bragging, this is just a fact -I'm so ripped now that a bit of bulging is inescapable. People are always saying that I'm a tease but half the time I don't even realize that I'm doing it, it's just a side effect of existing while being this hot.

Arsenio: Damn, and here I thought you were doing this especially for me. Well, it's nice to see that fame hasn't gone to your head!

Blaise: Haha, I mean, when the head looks this good, I can afford it!

Arsenio: I can't argue with that, that is one big beautiful head you've got there. Blaise really is just a stunning man.

Blaise: Aren't I? It's great. I was kinda nervous when I started being active on Blaise's accounts because at first I felt like I was impostor or something like that, but I knew I had to keep posting because people deserved to see this face. I get a lot of hate comments from people saying "you shouldn't be doing this" and stuff like that, but I block them out and focus on the positive ones. There's a lot more of those anyways.

Blaise: It sounds shallow but like, as a hot guy, I hold a lot of power. I've been on the other side of the screen, looking through it at those gorgeous faces, so I'm very aware what an important escape a bit of thirst content can be. Now that I have this face, this body, I can make so many people happy just by taking some clothes off and posting a picture. Why wouldn't I want to do that?

Blaise: That's why the content shifted. Less comedy videos, more thirst, workout videos, photoshoots- the stuff people really wanted to see all along. I love sharing the gift of this body with the world.

Blaise: I don't take anything for granted anymore, I live my life to the fullest, and I want to invite all of my followers into that. Especially after everything the world has been through since the shift, I want people to be able to open up their phone, see this sexy smile, and know that it's possible to still be happy. That there's still beauty in the world.

Arsenio: Oh my god, Blaise, I didn't expect us to be getting so deep on this episode.

Blaise: Hey, I'm more than just a pretty face... I've got a great ass too.

Arsenio: That you do, Blaise, that you do. So, Blaise, let's lighten the mood a bit and jump to one of our listener's favorite sections- and if you've listened to the show before you know what I'm going to ask you next. What's your favorite part of being in your new body?

Blaise: My favorite part? I'll give you two guesses.

Blaise: I love being a walking, talking gun show. Like I look down and I just think wow, I get to own these arms.

Arsenio: Yeah those are some killer pipes man.

Blaise: Dude you have no idea, I'm so fucking strong now. I'm still not over how like... round they are? It's like someone shoved a football under my skin, they tear my shirts if I'm not careful. I'm never gonna get tired of watching them flex.

Blaise: Every part of this body is great actually but I wanna give a special shoutout to my thighs actually- I'm thicker than a bowl of oatmeal. I just love having some meat on these bones, you know? I never skip a leg day.

Arsenio: Oh trust me, I can tell. And Blaise, you know I gotta ask because it's the question everyone's dying to know the answer to... how big is it?

Blaise: I'm gonna have to plead the fifth on that one actually- I'm currently in talks with a few different studios that have some ideas about how we can unveil that particular part of my new brand. But... let's just say that Blaise was a big boy, and he didn't disappoint. It's hard for me to make it through the day without fondling myself all the time, pun very much intended.

Blaise: This is so embarrassing but I actually had trouble pissing when I first got this body because every time I whipped my dick out to piss I'd get a boner from the sight of it- it's a grower, I'll tell you that much.

Arsenio: Damn, well, there you have it listeners! An exclusive!

Blaise: Oh god, I can just hear my publicist in my head screaming at me right now. Can you edit that out?

Arsenio: No, no, we are definitely leaving that in! This is the kind of content the people want to hear.

Blaise: Haha, well, I'm always happy to give the people what they want. But yeah, if you're really curious about what little Blaise looks like, keep an eye on my socials. Big things on the horizon... very big.

Arsenio: We'll be sure to put links to your accounts in the episode description. Moving on, I feel like I know the answer but here's one that we ask everybody: if you could switch back to your old body, would you?

Blaise: ...Sorry, what? I got distracted for a second.

Arsenio: Yeah, that's what I thought. Anyways, Blaise, you know what's more exciting than waking up to find yourself in the body of a famous hunk? Today's sponsor, Squarespace...

[thewayuarent]

Handling an addiction. Part 1.

Cause oh we need to have this conversation

Disclaimer: I am not a professional, and I won’t pretend to be. This is based on my personal experience as someone who is/was in several relationships with people who struggle from different forms of addiction. I want to clarify that I do understand all characters and while I’m going to critique them I do not blame them. The very important thing to remember is that it's a very complicated topic and there is no clear right answer to it. Let's keep in mind that any conversation about any difficult topic is always mostly one-sided and it's impossible to talk about everything once. This is about addiction and only about it, but all characters are way more then that one topic. Are we good now? Let's go.

So, let’s talk about Ray’s addiction and how people in his life are failing to handle it. 

The most important thing to remember is: addiction is a disease. By definition of most medical associations all over the world. Addiction is not a personal choice. And while it doesn’t excuse Ray’s behaviour throughout the show, it explains it. And this is a big difference. Ray as a character is much more than just his addiction, absolutely. But his addiction is a huge part of who he is and how he behaves and we need to constantly remember about it.

This conversation begins every week after every episode. Most people who seem to understand the complexity of his situation are also people who have a lot of sympathy and understanding towards him, and this is great. There are also a lot of people who feel towards him mostly annoyance and desire for him to stop without understanding why he can't - and this list starts from characters in the show. It’s, again, understandable. It’s also the worst thing you can do towards someone who struggles from addiction. 

So let’s start from Ray’s friend group and we’ll go from the least harmful to most harmful characters’ behaviour.

Boston. Yeah, shockingly, I know. But the fact is - Boston actually has the best-ish (from the worst so it’s not a high ground here) approach towards Ray’s addiction. And why? Well, cause he doesn’t give a fuck and doesn’t pretend to do. Boston is way far from the good support system Ray actually needs but at least he never judges Ray for his habits. He won’t help him, sure, but he won’t damage him harder (well, he is, but on a different topic).

We don’t actually know a lot about this friend group dynamic outside of their current drama and one episode happened two years ago. But we kind of can assume (cause Mew said it twice - in episodes 1 and 6) that Boston at least on some level was periodically responsible for taking Ray home. Which is really weird for me, by the way, cause both times Mew said Boston will take care of him Boston was also drinking. Not on Ray’s level, but still not in a shape to drive. But whatever. 

Don’t get me wrong, Boston is a shitty friend. He’s the one called Ray a burden in episode 1 which led to Ray rushing out.

And he intentionally targets Ray more than once towards the show about Mew, which is absolutely harmful and not helpful (can we talk about the weird obsession Boston has about Ray and Mew having sex? Like dude relax, nobody cares. Well, Top does).

He is absolutely not someone you want to have in your support system while trying to heal (not if Ray’s trying but we’ll get to that in part 2). But at least he is honest about not wanting to handle an addict. And the truth is: no one in this friends group wants to. And it’s fine, actually, more on that in a minute. But oh the level of hypocrisy the other two have.

Cheum. So, I truly don’t understand what the show is trying to tell us with this one. It’s either a clear critique on the hypocrisy people tend to have towards addicts or an attempt to show how addiction ruins not only people with it but also their surroundings. And if it’s the second one then I have a problem with how it’s shown.

There is a gold rule of cinema: show, don’t tell. We are told more than once that Cheum and Mew were actively trying to stop Ray. But what we’re actually shown is way different. The thing is, they are college kids. They drink a lot. They party a lot. And if we see this group all together they are either in university or drinking (except for the iconic pool scene). And specifically Cheum seems to get drunk pretty often. So while we’re told they tried to help Ray we’re shown only how they actually (unintentionally!!) support his behaviour or ignore it. And what should I think?

I think that they missed the point when Ray’s habits became an actual addiction. And I understand why - it’s a very easy thing to miss. I think that before his suicide attempt they did’t notice his mental struggles. I think after that they were shocked and scared and they didn’t know how to handle it so they chose to ignore it. This is a very common reaction and it’s understandable. 

The very important moment to remember is they don’t owe Ray anything. They can choose to help him and support him or not to deal with it. Handling an addiction is so hard and frustrating and exhausting for every participant. And if they choose to not get themselves into it - it’s normal. It doesn’t make them bad people, as choosing to help doesn't make somebody a better person. It’s a choice and every choice matters.

But if you make this choice - be true to it. Don’t play the “I tried to help you but you don’t want it so it’s on you” card. People with addiction didn’t choose to be that way. But people in their lives? They have an actual choice. No one will judge you if it’s not for you (at least normal people won’t). It’s honestly way better than staying only to constantly remind an addict how bad he is - he knows it already.

The thing I have to say to Cheum is - go away. It’s harsh, but it needs to be said. Don’t lie to yourself or Ray. Tell him (in very careful way) that you are tired, that you can’t handle it, that he needs help you can’t provide. Or stay, but do your research and prepare yourself to long hard work. But don’t continue to constantly drink with him to then be surprised why he can’t get better. Cheum is absolutely not responsible for Ray's actions. But she is responsible for hers. 

The one time I was almost agree with her was that scene.

Because bringing drugs was a very fucked up thing to do - Ray puts at risk not only himself but the whole group and he deserves to be called out on that. But. She continues to put all the blame on Ray - the thing she does the whole episode and it’s just frustrating as hell -  forgetting about Mew. Mew, who actually has a lot of responsibility in that situation.

Mew. Well, he does the worst thing you can imagine to do with a person like Ray. I get it, he’s hurt, I totally understand why he does what he does. I don't think he intends to hurt Ray. But.

Mew forgets a critically important thing here - can you guess which one? - right, that Ray is an addict. Mew can do all this stuff and be fine afterwards. It is always a risk that he won’t, of course, but his superiority complex tells him he’ll be fine. And I also think so - I mean, he's a young adult, he can try partying and drinking and drugs and be totally okay after.

He can turn back. Ray can’t.

Mew did help Ray in his worst moment that one time two years ago, and it is worth remembering. And after that Mew tried his best to distance himself from Ray’s struggles - again, understandable. He was trying to talk with Ray and while it was really bad - I still give him the benefit of a doubt. He is young, he’s not a specialist, he didn’t do any research and he thinks it might work.

But a moment he decides to let loose he turns to Ray for help. Because Ray will never judge him - both cause his idolisation and cause it’s not his place to judge, he does all this stuff himself. And this is absolutely terrible. I’m sorry, but it is. Mew, the same as everyone else, doesn’t owe Ray his help or time or support. But while it is not necessary for him to help Ray, it is a necessity to not actively - and this time intentionally - support him in this.

For Mew everything happening is episode 8 is a journey, a new experience. For Ray it's a fucking relapse.

He knows Ray is an addict. He just doesn’t care at the moment. But it can be so, so dangerous for Ray. Mew started this spiraling down journey, but it’s Ray who will end up at the bottom.

And for everyone who says Ray is also an active participant - he is. But he is not. He has a disease. And he gets in a situation where a person he idolises, his favourite human being, finally doesn’t judge him. Instead, Mew supports him. Mew wants to be like him. Can you imagine even a possibility where Ray in this situation says no? It’s impossible, not in the state he’s in right now.

And this is why I critisize this friend group. This is why they deserve to be criticized. Because this is a depiction of how these things work in reality too. You don't have to help him. But the least thing you can do - if you deside to stay in his life - is to have a compassion towards him and don't get him worse.

In part two I will talk about Ray’s current state and of course about the one person who kind of does the better job here - and why Sand is able to do it.

[loveesiren]

𝖲𝗇𝗈𝗐𝖿𝖺𝗅𝗅 - 𝖢.𝖲.

DISCLAIMER: This is my first Sturniolo fic and I have taken a longggg break from writing so I am very rusty. Sorry in advance that this most likely sucks. I'm also not great with fluff but I thought this was cute so I hope you enjoy! Let me know what you think <3

Synopsis: In which Y/n finds the one person who brings joy to her life.

Warnings: Language, broken family (deceased father, alcoholic mother, troubled youth), fluff, cigarettes, very brief mention of drugs

Word Count: 2.4k+

“I WISH I WASN’T EITHER!” You screamed at your mother before slamming the door and walking out into the cold winter night. You grabbed a cigarette from your coat pocket and placed it between your teeth as you searched for your lighter. You brought it to the tip of your cigarette, flicking it a few times until it finally lit. 

I wish you weren’t my daughter. The words echoed in your head as you made your way down the dimly lit street. Light snow fell from the sky and your neighborhood was silent, the fluffy white powder absorbing all sound. The space around you was liminal. It was nights like these that were perfect for clearing your head. 

Chris’s POV

I heard Y/n yelling and I immediately turned my attention to the window. I slipped my headphones off, completely ignoring Matt and Nick and abandoning the game. I watched as Y/n clicked her lighter to light up her cigarette before walking off down the street. She looked sad. That wasn’t unusual. Especially this time of year.

I’d grown up next to Y/n my whole life. I’d dare to even say she is my friend. Although maybe she doesn’t feel the same about me? She was confusing at times. She was often quiet and kept to herself at school. She was really kind. But I’d also seen her lay someone out before for disrespecting her. She was smart as hell but always managed to end up in detention and for some reason I found myself getting into situations to get detention just so I could hang out with her. 

Obviously, my parents didn’t love that but she was so intriguing. The whole neighborhood knew of her situation. Her mom definitely wasn’t the most pleasant neighbor. Y/n tried to escape that as much as she could but she was still viewed as the “troubled kid” growing up. Now we are 18 and on the verge of graduating. I was beginning to fear that she’d be gone soon. She’d told me before how she couldn’t wait to get out of this town, that there was nothing keeping her here. 

Where would you go? I texted her.

Idk. Maybe the Outer Banks? Learn to surf, search for treasure, live like a Pogue. Lol. She responded.

We didn’t always stay up late texting but when we did our conversations were always interesting. I was always excited to see my phone screen light up with her name. It wasn’t constant, but often enough that Matt and Nick began to notice.

“Who are you texting?” Nick asked one day.

“Yeah, you smile like a goof every time you look at your phone.” Matt added.

“No one,” I responded quickly. 

“That’s a fucking lie. Who is it?” Nick asked again. Matt quickly snatched my phone from my hands and ran away with it.

“Matt, what the fuck!” I yelled as I attempted to chase him. Matt tossed it over my head and Nick caught it at the perfect time for Y/n to text me back. My phone lit up with her name and photo and Nick's jaw dropped.

“Y/n?!”

“Ew, the weird bitch?” Matt added.

“She’s not fucking weird!” I snapped, grabbing my phone back. “Don’t fucking worry about it.” I stormed off to my room and since then they haven’t brought it up. Which was fine by me. They didn’t take the time to get to know her, no one did. She was actually cool as fuck.

I thought about texting her as I watched her walk further down the street. But it just didn’t feel right. I wanted to talk to her in person. 

“Dude! What are you doing?” Matt burst through my door. “You totally fucked me and Nick in the game!”

“I’m done playing for now.” I told him as I went to my closet to grab my coat and snow boots.

“Where are you going?”

“I’ll be back in a bit, okay?”

“Chris!”

I hated keeping things from my brothers but this was something I didn’t feel like discussing with them further. They made it clear they didn’t care about Y/n. The only time they ever made comments is when they noticed her and her mom fighting. They knew she was my friend and that’s all they needed to know. All I cared about was catching up with Y/n and making sure she was okay. It was absolutely freezing outside. 

I left out the backdoor without responding to Matt and made my way down the street.

Y/n’s POV

You let the tears fall freely from your eyes as you dragged your cigarette. One more semester until you graduate and then you could leave this god awful suburb for the rest of your life. After your dad died when you were just thirteen, your mom took all her anger out on you. The last five years had been miserable. You missed your dad. You missed when your mom didn’t drink. You missed when you were a regular family. Now you were just the girl everyone felt sorry for. The troubled one.

You made your way to the small pond near the end of your neighborhood. You were ready to sit and let the stillness of the water distract you until you heard footsteps behind you. Your body tensed, nervous for who would be out here at this hour. You reached in your pocket and grabbed your knife, quickly pulling it and turning it on the person walking your way.

“Whoa, whoa!” The dark figure said, stopping in his tracks with his hands up. “It’s me! Chris!”

“Chris?” You asked softly, lowering your knife. He stepped forward. It was indeed Chris Sturniolo. You took a deep breath at the sight of him. “You scared the fuck out of me!” You scolded.

“I’m sorry…” He said. Unsure if he should walk closer or not.

“It’s fine,” You chuckled. “What are you doing out here?”

“Oh, you know, just enjoying the freezing weather.” He said, smiling and stepping closer to you. 

“It’s lovely, isn’t it?” You joke as your teeth chattered. 

“What are you doing out here, Y/n?” Chris asks, his voice more serious now.

“Just needed some air.” You told him. “I like this pond in the summer. There are lots of frogs. I wonder where they all go in the winter…” Your face fell as you pondered the thought.

“Y/n..”

You sniffled as you looked down at the pond. Chris always knew. “What.” You responded. It wasn’t a question.

“You have mascara running down your cheeks.”

Christopher Sturniolo might have been the only person to ever see you cry. He always knew and he was always there. It was a rare occasion but as you thought back on it, he always seemed to appear when you were sad and find a way to cheer you up. Whether it be walking home with you, trying to make you laugh, or even just sitting next to you silently so you wouldn’t be alone.

“She said she wishes I wasn’t her daughter.” You confessed, allowing your head to fall. Chris wasted no time in wrapping his arms around you and pulling you into him. Normally you hated being touched but you felt so comfortable with him. He wrapped one hand around your lower back and the other made its way to your hair as he towered just above you. 

“I’m sorry, Y/n. You deserve so much more.” He said softly.

You cried more at his words. In what world did you deserve more? In what world did you deserve Chris?

“Y/n, you’re freezing.” 

“Yeah, I know. I’ll call Billy-”

“No. Come to my house.” He cut you off.

You were taken aback for a moment. You hadn’t been to the Sturniolo’s since their 13th birthday party. The only reason you were invited was because your father died. You couldn’t imagine his parents or brothers actually liked you. 

“Chris, I can’t just intrude like that-”

“You’re not intruding. And I don’t want you at Billy’s.” He stated. You’d never heard the sweet Chris Sturniolo sound so serious about something. Billy definitely wasn’t the best guy but he always gave you a place to stay when you needed it. “I don’t trust him.”

Chris had no reason to trust him. Billy was a dick and often fucked people over. But having him as a connect meant a place to stay and drugs to do as long as you put out or helped him out. But to be invited to Chris’s house made you nervous. His parents were sweet. His brothers were protective. Chris bringing you home would be like bringing home a stray raccoon. 

“Chris, I can’t.” You sigh.

“Why not?”

“Because it’s not a good look sneaking some degenerate into your home at midnight,”

“I will walk you through the front door proudly,” He says. “Besides, my parents are asleep and my brothers are too invested in their game. Just come over for a bit to warm up? We can listen to music in my room.”

You thought about it for a moment.

“If you hate it, you live right across the street,” He smiled hopefully at you, 

You couldn’t help but smile back at him. “Fine.” You say. “But just for a little bit! Once my mom is asleep I’m going home.”

“Deal.” Chris agreed, throwing his arm over your shoulder and guiding you back towards the street.

The two of you walked back to his house with minimal conversation. 

“Wanna catch snowflakes?” Chris asked before sticking his tongue out and letting the snow fall on it.

You giggled at him but followed his lead. The crisp flakes on your tongue felt nice. You were having fun jumping around in the snow with Chris. You even stopped at the park to make stupid snow angels and throw snowballs at each other. Before you knew it, the snow was getting heavier, almost blizzarding. 

“C’mon!” Chris yelled, grabbing your hand and running towards his house. 

You made it to his porch and he opened the door slowly. The kitchen was mostly dark aside from the microwave light being on and the light that shined underneath Nick’s door. You could hear him still awake, obviously yelling at a video game he was playing. 

Chris put a finger to his lips, gesturing for you to be quiet as you both slipped out of your boots. He grabbed your hand and you both tiptoed through the dimly lit house and up to his room. You made your way down the hall and followed Chris into his bedroom. 

“Make yourself at home,” He said with a smile. He went to his computer and logged into his Spotify. You scanned his room, noticing all the posters of his favorite artists on his walls. You could tell he was passionate about music. 

“Who’s your favorite?” You ask. He looks at you and you gestured to all the posters.

“Skies, for sure!” He says. “What about you?”

You unzip your coat to reveal the shirt you got at Grey Day last year. “$uicideboy$”

Chris smiles at you. “I’ve never really listened to them. What’s a good song?”

“A Death In The Ocean Would Be Beautiful,” You say as you slip off your coat and sit on his bed. 

Chris turns on his galaxy projector so that wave-like colors flow across his ceiling before he presses play and joins you on his bed. You both lay back and listen intently as you watch the lights. 

“They’re kind of depressing…” Chris admits after the song is over. 

You chuckle slightly. “Yeah, they can be. But they can be helpful. They get it, you know? What I’m going through.”

Chris turns on his side and you mirror his movements as if you were his natural reflection. “I hate hearing it every night.” He admits.

Your body curls into itself, you pull your sleeves further over your hands. “I’m sorry…”

“No, not like that,” He says, propping himself up on one arm and placing his other on your shoulder, gently tangling his fingers through the ends of your hair. “I just hate hearing you guys fight and seeing you walk out in the cold every night. You don’t deserve that.”

“Trust me, Chris. I’m no saint.” You say with a sad laugh. 

“Don’t have to be a saint to deserve basic respect, especially from your own family.” 

“I only have to deal with it for a few more months. When I graduate, I’m out of here.” You smiled at the thought. 

“You know…I’m really going to miss you…” Chris says softly. 

You look up to see his eyes already on you. You wanted to tell him you’d miss him too. You wanted to tell him to come with you, although you knew he’d never leave his brothers. You wanted to tell him he was the only good thing in your life and every time you were near him you felt happy and warm and like everything was going to be okay for once in your miserable fucking life. But with every single thought your brain contained about Chris Sturniolo, your mouth could only mutter three little words. 

“I love you…”

Chris’s lips parted slightly with shock as his eyes quickly scanned your features.

“Fuck! I’m sor-”

You were quickly cut off when he pressed his lips to yours. You were taken aback for a moment but quickly leaned in to deepen the kiss. He brought his hand up to cup your jaw and your fingers found their way to his hair. His lips were soft and sweet and you felt that fluttering feeling in the pit of your stomach that you hadn’t felt in a long, long time. 

He pulled away slightly and you frowned at the loss of contact. “I’ve wanted to do that for a long fucking time…” He said, his voice almost a whisper. 

“I-I didn’t know you liked me…” You said. “Why?”

“Why wouldn’t I?” You’re smart, you’re sweet, you know what you want, and pretty as hell.” He smiled. “Not to mention you’re like the strongest person I know. You deserve so much better than the cards you’ve been dealt.”

You felt tears welling in your eyes again but you couldn’t help but smile. You don’t know what you did to deserve the pretty boy who had his arms wrapped around you, but you hoped you never had to let him go. 

“Can I stay?” You asked shyly.

Chris smiled and pulled his comforter over both of you. “Please,” He said. 

You snuggled into him, resting your head on his chest while he played with your hair. 

“And Y/n?” He said, placing a kiss on your forehead.

“Mmm?”

“I love you, too.”

Tagging a few mutuals! Let me know if you want to be added/removed from tag list :)

Tags: @strniohoeee @flowerxbunnie @christinarowie332 @kenzieiskoolaid @bluesturniolo333 @chrattnick @recklesssturniolo @soursturniolo @byechristopher @justangelheree @sturnimovies

[cardboardheartss]

Min Hee Jin vs HYBE Scandal Interview

⚠️DISCLAIMER! TAROT CARDS ARE NOT 100% ACCURATE! TAKE EVERYTHING WITH A GRAIN OF SALT! IF MY INTERPRETATIONS ARE INCORRECT FEEL FREE TO CORRECT ME!⚠️

Q : How are you feeling today? (QoW rx)

A : Well… I’m pissed off to be honest. I don’t know if I should be paranoid or continue fighting. I am aware that I’m causing a major uproar on social media but what else can I do?

Q : How do you feel about your secrets all being revealed lately? (5oC, 4oS, AoS, Devil rx)

A : I’m actually quite disappointed, I really didn’t think my secrets would ever be revealed to the public. I feel like running away and hiding because I’m too overwhelmed at the moment. I truly do feel embarrassed but I’m also glad I could finally be free from this company.

Q : Why did you partake in all of this shady work? ( 3oW rx, 10oS)

A : I was too impatient… I wanted to make quick money and prove to other companies that my ideas were actually unique and wil bring me successful but unfortunately my impatience completely backfired on me.

Q : Do you feel betrayed by “That guy?” (Horizontal 7oS)

A : Well… it’s 50/50 to be honest. I could say i feel betrayed but not really. I already knew he was a bad person overall, people in the industry know this guy and how much of a thief he is. But once again… I just wanted the money and now he tipped off that company.😒

Q : Do you think the reason why you got exposed was all rooted from misogyny? (7oP & WoF)

A : No lol! People in the company are just jealous their concepts and groups weren’t gaining attention and success so they decided to sabotage me.

Q : What are your thoughts on HYBE CEO’s at this moment? (4oP, 2oS, QoP, 3oC)

A : Well… they are just a bunch of money hungry dudes who wanted to steal my creations… I did not want to give them my concepts at all and I honestly should’ve been more wary because look now… we all have caused major disruption.

Q : Any words to the NEWJEANS members? (Hermit, Empress, 3oS rx, PoP rx)

A : Umm… firstly, i truly believe we all might have to part ways and I would like to apologize to all of you. I should’ve thought smarter and found safer ways to create all of our successes. I was supposed to be your motherly figure, who’d be there for you guys and continue creating beautiful projects together but instead I was really self centered and money hungry. I really don’t want to go but I have no choice but to, I’m aware it’s going to be a bit of a struggle having to heal from all of this. So many things are going to be changing for better and worse because this industry is just… full of crap but once again I am truly sorry to all 5 of you… I truly should’ve used this darn brain and my heart too.

Q : Any words for the other HYBE groups? (Magician rx, Hanged Man rx, 4oW, 10oC rx, PoC rx, QoS, 9oW rx, Death rx, 4oC & 10oW rx)

A : Eh… y’all cool I guess. To be honest I really have no words to any of them. I’m just quite unhappy and critical as to how your CEO’s used my ideas for your concepts. And good luck with continuing to having disharmony amongst each other and having creative blocks as a whole.

Q : What are your plans once this situation has “calmed down?” (Emperor, KoC, KoS rx, AoS rx, 5oC)

A : Umm… right now, I’m thinking of the present. I’m still trying to take in all of this drama and even possibly thinking of walking away for good.

[whysojiminimnida]

Remember When I Said Taehyung Might Not Be As Gay As We Thought?

Don't judge a man by his milfy wardrobe, he looks goooood.

It was... awhile ago. Maybe as far back as 2021 although I do not feel like link-searching it. It's in the archives if I didn't kill it.

Granted, there was a lot going on, then. There's still a lot going on and until now I had no desire to ever - EVER - return to this hellsite. Because Taekookers are fucking weird, yo. And some of y'all got a lil bit up in my shit too as I (fuzzily) recall. Which: it's whatever. I'm extremely unsocial, don't even answer my own DMs. And it's not personal, so I get it. I don't need or want to defend myself, but I will protect people I care about. With my absence, if necessary.

OT: I also totally kicked the big C while I've been out so that was nice. Yoongi the cat is pleased that his noms will continue uninterrupted. I will be in wigs for at least another year. It's all good. Oh LOOK at what we have here. Don't come at me for publishing this, I will explain.

I got it from actual media days ago, okay, and also: there was no expectation of real privacy. Keep reading. Or don't, I'm not telling you what to do.

ANYWAY. I had to come back, mainly to say TAENNIE IS REAL I TOLD Y'ALL IDK WHY NOBODY EVER BELIEVES ME BUT HERE WE ARE. I'm gloating. Honestly, it's so rude, I'd apologize if I cared. But I am rude and snorfling into my cheerios about this. Tae just made me so damn happy, is all.

LET THE MAN BE BI OR HETEROFLEXIBLE OR EVEN STRAIGHT IDC. Jennie clearly makes him happy. Look at his "I'm going to Paris to see my girlfriend" face!

And in that very specific jewelry look, no less. Foundrae. Again. Still. Hm.

Here's what I can tell you based on my limited third hand no sources no receipts this is probably utter bullshit usual disclaimer: It's a soft open, kids. This whole "oopsie we just so happened to get caught taking a lil walk in public with our managers in tow during which date at least one of us signed several autographs, what a surprise" is in fact a soft open for what will likely be a public confirmation PRETTY DAMN SOON. It might happen before I get this thing published, actually, depending on when I get it up. If it's before May 22 at noon my time, no idea. If after, well. Guess we'll see. Jennie's supposed to show up at the screening of HBO's The Idol that day, screening at the Grand Lumiere at 10:30 CEST. One wonders if she will arrive alone, or bring a plus one. It's a big ask, and if he does it they're probably getting married, that's how big a deal it would be. So I'm not holding my breath, but.

This seems like a reasonable prospect for a plus-one viewing. Might not be the only one but... Jennie's IN IT so.

I'M NOT SAYING THIS IS GONNA HAPPEN. I think it would be a fucking POWER move if it did, but I also do not necessarily expect that it will. It COULD. It... MIGHT. It might not. Either way they're a thing, I'm telling you. They are, have been, a thing. For awhile. And it is apparently quite serious - like up to and including talk of engagement serious.

Remember when a bunch of folk thought that one gummy bear dude was going to jail for "hacking" Jennie's phone only there's been no actual movement on any "investigation"? Yeah. Trickle truthing, they call it. Give 'em a little bit, let them deny it and yell and chew on it for awhile before you give 'em a little more. But c'mon, nobody's wearing half the love-themed couple pieces at Foundrae for no damn reason.

Seriously they got the whole collection almost and both have been seen wearing them almost exclusively. For a year.See airport pic above.

Look, I don't have inside info on Taehyung. I do not. I ain't hang with his friends and I don't know him personally. Never met the guy. But I know a PR move when I see one and this is exactly that.

We all know how toxic stan culture can be. Some ToadlicKKers (and a few of us house elves) are certifiably bonkers, if stan twitter is anything to go by. And the guys, the company, they expect a whole meltdown. They know this is not gonna make half their fans happy. I mean the tkkers have a point in that it looks like they wanted to be seen. BECAUSE IT'S A SOFT OPEN. What Taejen/Taennie/Jenhyung and the companies also know is that based on historic shipper behavior, this is gonna come back on Jimin, Jungkook, maybe Rose' and Lisa. And by extension, the other members. Maybe not as much due to their respective distance, but still. I bet by the time I finish this it will have already started.

Oh look there it is. Fuck those bitches, really.

Good LORDT. I'm not adding the audio, if y'all are that hungry for psycho hose beast Jimin hate hie thee to stan twt.

But, totally off-topic kinda...

... wouldn't it be cool if Jennie, who speaks great English, was hanging out with Troye Sivan and was like "so you know my boyfriend tells me that his bffs..." I'M JUST SAYING NETWORKING IS COOL AND FRIENDS OF FRIENDS GET THINGS DONE OKAY.

You know that girl has the scoop. If Tae knows it, she knows it. Oh heeeeyyy Troye.

Also OT: I love that Taekook have been hanging out a little more lately. It's refreshing. I genuinely think having Jennie in his life has been good for Tae in several ways. And you know, I'm kinda surprised Taennie has lasted this long. I didn't honestly think they would. It warms my decrepit, sad old heart a bit. Turns out I have a lot more to say so IDK IDK, if I feel okay about it I might be back. Right now I'm just waiting for the official Taennie nod and the continued total meltdown.

[sayitdido]

Nah cause are your request still open?? Like can you do smut? This in my mind all day.. Don't know how to say this but... Yeonjun stalker (non idol) and twitch streamer Reader? Lmaooo I know it's cringe enough but I really wanted this😭😭

a/n: i went overboard and it turned out a lot darker than i thought so sorry anon if this was not what you wanted.

disclaimer: this is a lot darker than my usual fics and contains stalker yandere behavior and revarding this behavior, just know that this kind of action is problematic irl and i do not condone or try to romanticize these kind of actions!this is all fiction!

warnings: stalking, yandere!yeonjun, dom!yeonjun, sub!reader, bdsm, possesiveness, gagging with underwear, degradation, dacryphilia, bondage, yeonjun beats reader up but it is a consensual action,stomach punching, edging(?), reader's mental health is fucked up so she acts self destructive, basically she just lets yeonjun be as problematic as he wants, let me know if there is any that i have missed!

it was as if you were asking for someone to stalk you. always posting your location when you go to a coffee shop or showing the interior of your house which was pretty similar to yeonjun. it was the exact same interior of one of his friends. just to make sure, he followed you home after your post revealed that you were having a brunch in a nearby restaurant.

as he learnt you flat's number, he also checked up your locks to see whether or not it would be easy to break in. he convinced himself that he wasn't actually gonna do that. it was crazy and sick even for him. he was contend with seeing you afar.

but it all changed in one of your streams you talked about a guy you liked. when you talked about his appearance, yeonjun realized you were talking about him. so that menant you saw? and still did nothing to stop the guy who follows you everywhere. were you into that? crazy, he thought.

even though he liked the idea you liking him, the fact that you were still into him after all he had done made him think how stupid you must be to fall for him or too naive to even notice.all he had to do was to use this to his advantage. and with that you saw a 1k tip telling you to confess to him.

it is all gonna worth it, he thought. and since you accepted his challange, there was only one thing left to do, to wait.

he was there sitting close to you waiting. you with all of your courage went up to him. you greeted him, so did he. and finally you said it. "i have been seeing you around for a while. and couldn't help it but you caught my attention. i was wondering if you were up for a date? with me of course." he smiled with victory. he was right even though your description of him wasn't that specific. worth every penny, didn't you?

after he gladly accepted your dating proposal, you two made plans for your first date which ended up being the best date you ever had. of course it would, he knew everything about you. this included what you liked and what you didn't like in a date. even though it is your first date you ended up inviting him over.

you finally felt the need to confess. "you are a dangerous person, right?" a shocked but not surprised expression covered his face. "you want me and you can hurt me. i knew you were stalking me. but instead of being disgusted with the idea, i craved you. i will let you hurt me, i just have one condition."

"what is it?" he asked. "keep me. isn't that also what you want? you probably didn't stalk me for a whole year that i know of and paid me a thousand dollars to confess to you just for one fuck but i need to know for sure." he laughed to your desperation. "of course i am going to keep you but the real question is why do you want this?" you didn't know how to answer. and you sure knew if it wasn't yeonjun but some unattractive middle aged dude in front of you, you wouldn't even want this. "i don't know. maybe i think i deserve it or maybe it's just that you are hot and i am stupid." he smirked.

"come here." he ordered. as soon as you went up to him, he lifted your skirt to took of your panties and stuffed it into your mouth before getting you fully naked. "will you be okay if i were to hurt you anyway i want?" you nodded desperately. "good girl." he praised. "ah some part of me thinks you are too precious to do what i am about to do yet i also need to put desperate slut in her place." you felt fear and excitement covering you whole body at the same time. also he thought you were precious? you felt soft even in a situation like this.

"go to your bed, now." you immediately followed his orders. and layed down on you back. "good girl." he gave you the same praise before punching your stomach. your eyes opened with shocked but you couldn't deny how it turned you on. just as you calmed down a little another one followed. "such a useful whore for me. taking everything without questioning." and another one.

your eyes starting to tear up with pain, your body squirming without your control, he decicmded to tie you up. after finishing the fourth punch followed. "one final one and then we are done, okay?" you nodded. even though you liked it, you were glad than it was soon over. and when the final punch hitted your stomach you screamed in pain audible even in your gagged state and actually started crying.

"i know, i know. but you should see yourself your cries are just masterpiece. you can't even imagine how turned on i am." as you were calming down you felt his hands on your cunt. playing and toying with it, never letting you orgasm. "we are going to have so much fun~" he said while you stared his dar gaze.

credits to: @/cafekitsune for +18 banners!

[candywife333]

Delulu is the Solulu

PART 1- Hairy Big Toe

AND PART 1 is finally out. Planning 2-3 parts for this.

Chubby OC (with PCOS) x simp idol Jungkook

No proofreading done

Summary: Our OC (Lee Ireum) loves Jungkook of BTS to pieces. She loves him through the distance of her screen and in fact is one of his avid fan club members. She is running for president of the ARMY fan club in her home town. But, she has a peculiarity about her, that even her fellow members in arms don't know about her. She never wants to meet them. She never wants to meet BTS, and she especially never wants to meet Jungkook. She believes in never meeting your heroes because they will end up disappointing you, eventually. To hold up this ideal, she has never been to their in person events. However, though she has never been to a fan meet ,she is supposed to attend one the coming week (at the blackmailing insistence of one of her friends). Yet, she had started to text a dude through a popular dating app around the same time all of this was happening.

It had started out as a prank, this dating profile. She would post sexy pics , have amusing chats with thirsty dudes, and then block them for the shits and giggles. Living the true online play girl life, something she would never do in real life cause of insecurities. The odd thing with the dude she is texting though is that the time stamps of the texts are not showing up in Korean time, it almost seemed like Eastern standard time. And the odder thing was that closer to her fan meet date, the time stamps changed back to korean standard time. The question was, who exactly was she chatting with?

Description : This fic will be written with chat messages in between (dilineated by bullets), alternating with the usual writing.

Disclaimer: The character of Jungkook in this fic is not a true representation of his real life actions or personality. Please treat this is fiction.

Triggers: voyeurism, dub-conish , body insecurity (chubby hairy OC incoming)

I opened up my phone to see the recent chats I had received from the new dating app I signed up for a week back. Damn, so many requests within a few hours from when I finished updating my blank profile with pics of myself (of course since it is just a thirst trap account without my face) which were just way too scandalous for real life. I opened up the first chat that I received.

bunnyboy7- Show me your tits🤤

The hell, guys were that straightforward? I thought I would at least get a little segue and introduction, luring me in, before being asked for my literal boobs in a pic.

strawcakes4- Excuse me? Sir this is a Wendy's drive through👵.

bunnyboy7- Then, at least show me your ass🍑

Damn, this dude was way too relentless. I didn't even show a hint of cleavage in my actual pics on the dating profile to signal that I might be open to showing anybody anything. How did this random guy, think he had the honor of seeing first my tits? and then my bare ass? I guess dude didn't yet know that I had a hairy ass. Even monkeys would be envious. I even had a few hairs on my tits. I grew chest hair before guys in my class did. Even had upper lip hair to match. Had to get that little bitch ripped off my face every Sunday with my handy dandy waxing pot, otherwise I would be sporting a rather impressive moustache most of the time. Dude, didn't know what he was even asking for.

strawcakes4- I think you have the wrong number Sir Bunny

bunnyboy7- Trust me baby, you won't regret me.

strawcakes4- What are you going to say next? champagne confetti? too predictable dude. You think you are JK or something🤨?

bunnyboy7- In fact yes I do, my fair lady. (5:00 AM EST)

strawcakes4- They say the world is made up of mostly sane poeple. I am beginning to doubt this claim. Delulu is not the solulu my friend. 😌No matter how much you and I both wish you were JK, that is not reality.

bunnyboy7- Ok, well how about you assume I am JK and why don't you show your favorite , cutest global pop-star your bellybutton then? Ask not what your JK can do for you, but what you can do for your JK. It is for a noble cause.

strawcakes4- Excuse me? how desperate are you dude? We progressed from ass, to tits, to belly button? You have a fetish or something? And now you claim to be JK---THE SHEER AUDACITY?! JK would be too busy earning millions ,performing at times square, eating noodles drenched in perilla oil, hanging out with calvin klein models. He would not be sitting here looking so pathetic.

bunnyboy7- Sometimes stars have needs too. Ok!? We don't have models gyrating 10 feet away from us all the time, contrary to popular opinion. And sometimes we do our own laundry. Is that so hard for you to fucking believe?!

What were the odds of this guy actually being jungkook? He was probably a troll or delusional fanboy who thought he was JK. He sure was putting in a lot of effort to convince me though. Rolling my eyes, I scrolled further down to reply:

strawcakes4- clutching my forehead in disbelief you need to get over yourself dude. If you are Jungkook, I am bloody britney spears. I am not sending nudes or sexting you. OFF to HORNY JAIL WITH YOU, YOUNG MAN!! 🔥If you were truly JK, you wouldn't be begging, you would already be receiving. bunnyboy7- Fine, fine fine, if you can't send me nudes or sext with me, let's play a game of 20 questions.

strawcakes4- Ok?

bunnyboy7- What does your pussy look like? describe it in no less than 20 words. Your timer starts now😉

This dude had balls of steel, he even wanted a pussy description. He would probably run for the hills if he actually saw my furry snatch in person. Chewing on my lip, deliberating my next response, I typed out:

strawcakes4- Ok, "JK", I think …………….I have contracted syphilis from my step father in Transylvania and I am about to die. So………….I am leaving the chat…………….to go get it treated.

bunnyboy7- Don't lie to me like that strawbaby!!! Don't you dare leave this chat.

------Strawcakes4 has left the chat

bunnyboy7- Goddamnit. Ok forget about pussy. At least show bobs.🤤 (5:10 AM EST)

bunnyboy7- Fuck, I came on to her way too hard I guess

Giggling and kicking my feet as I lay on my bed, I chuckled, sounding like a pig snorting in the process. At least he figured out, that he was coming on to me way too hard and way too inappropriately.

I sat there contemplating whether I should delete his chat log and block him. I usually did that after 2-3 interactions with particularly horny dudes, or even after 1 interaction with really annoying clingy guys. Here for a good time, not a long time fellas. I was literally baffled when some of them were using me for therapy sessions. Like, why should I do so much unpaid work?! Like hell I was wasting my time talking to these dudes constantly .

I didn't mind flirting, bantering and eventually sharing pics after building a rapport (not like I kept them for long in my dms either way). But the way this dude had come on so strong was perplexing and rather irritating. I had come across this type of behavior from many other dudes. But he was the first one to not even say Hi. Usually the other dudes had decency to atleast greet her and then start their lewd demands. Pathetic buffoon.

I flopped onto my back, sighing over the fact that I would have to attend that fan meet in a few days. I did not want to meet any of the members of BTS. The only idols I had an intention of meeting in my life were MAMAMOO. I loved their vibe and would feel comfortable in their presence. My main reason for wanting to meet was also so I could ask Hwasa to step on my face with her high heels. The lady was a divine goddess. Sometimes I just wished I was lesbian, because so many things would be easier. Finding men attractive, was a curse.

Running for president of our BTS fanclub in our hometown was a feat. You can only print out so many posters of Jimin's luscious lips, and Jin's windswept perfectly tousled hair, before you get tired of seeing them. Somedays I got so tired of doing BTS related activities, like chaperoning younger armys to attend their music shows and meets in Korea. It was fine when I was a younger teen in middle school, but as a college junior it felt taxing at times.

I had seen the members from afar but never went to actual fan meets where you could interact or talk to them. Convinced it would lead to disillusionment at their carefully manufactured images and heartache, I rejected attending those type of meets. My baby members always pushed me attend, wanting me as a chaperone so their parents would feel comfortable with them attending. I just couldn't though, and they would stare back at me with their puppy dog eyes disheartened at my refusal. But, something about my attitude as a fan had changed. I still loved them to the moon and back, but I guess it was getting tiring.

I had different priorities I guess, like getting a new job with the marketing degree I was to graduate with next year. I groaned at the prospect of finding a place to live next year. My dorm room would be gone and I would have to look for a flat since mom and dad lived in the countryside.

Two days later, I was met with another stream of texts from the same person, bunnyboy7. Why in the fucking hell was he bothering me now? Especially with the dreaded fan meet I had to attend in a few days. Armies looked out for each other, and the main reason for me to attend wasn't honestly even about running for president. It was the responsibility of looking after the young, impressionable minds that would be attending. Had to make sure they didn't get hurt in a crowd, or break down. You would be surprised how many people tended to cry a river and lose their bloody mind when seeing their favorite idols.

I opened the chat log:

bunnyboy7- you there angel? my beautiful goddess? temptress of my dreams, or shall I say tittytress of my fantasies😏😏

I scoffed as I stared at the screen, what the hell was he on? weed? nicotine? You would think one rejection would be enough to get my point across, to convey my distaste.

strawcake4- Ummmmm. Why are you still talking to me dude? I am not interested in sexting or nudes. Leave me alone, I am way too busy for this right now

bunnyboy7- I have been fisting myself everyday to the pic you posted of yourself in a see through black babydoll dress with your tits drooping down , perfect size for my hands to squeeze. I almost came as I could see your thick thighs, just the right size to have wrapped around my neck as I lick your juicy little pussy😜 Please at least take pity on a poor man and post a feet pic. (7:00 AM KST)

strawcake4- Ok dude, this convo has prolonged far enough. If you have a boner, I will deflate it in two seconds flat, that's all I need. My toes are hairy, my tummy is hairy, my legs are ......you guessed it hairy and so is the rest of my body. I look like a cross between a chubby baboon and a chimpanzee. Now , unless you are into bestiality, you won't want to engage further with me. Leave me the fuck alone.

I expected no response from him, confident in my abilities to turn off men. The dude would have deleted the chat by now. Checking out of sheer curiosity, I was shocked, gasping as sweat beaded on my hairline, at his reply:

bunnyboy7- It's ok baby, we can just shave it all off if it bothers you, no biggie. 😋But I like my pussies hairy , a whole jungle, so don't worry in the least. And I can tell just from your pics, that I would drown in your pussy and never come up for air. It would be a glorious way to go, don't you think darling 🤓

I was breathless as I stared at his text, what the hell did he mean? He didn't mind all the body hair and my fat little self?

strawcake4- stop messing around dude, you are just lying. Now let us just end the convo, you are fooling nobody.

bunnyboy7- Who said I was lying baby😏. Just send one pic of your choosing of your body. And I will prove it to you. (7: 05 AM KST)

I shouldn't be doing this. But my fingers moved to my photo gallery and I picked out one pic I had taken in dim light of my tits and tummy, intact with strawberry red lingerie that showed hints of fine downy hair here and there. He would probably be turned off and we could end this interaction. I paused several minutes, indecisive about sending the pic.

bunnyboy7- You still there babe? please babygirl, I am salivating at the thought of you. Send a pic, any pick. The mere thought of you is keeping me on the verge of cumming. (7: 10 AM KST )

I took a deep breath, not dragging the pic through my editing app, and clicked SEND, closing my eyes at the thought of what I had just done, wincing a little. I peeked at the screen with one eye open, he was typing. I almost jolted up towards the ceiling as I saw what he had written, my panties getting damp involuntarily.

bunnyboy7- OMG BABY🤤🤤I can't handle all your beauty. The perfect tits, tipped with chocolate brown areolas. I could just bite into them. And that gorgeous collection of pudge around your belly, your skin and flesh looks so soft. I can't believe I am saying this but........I would even lick your armpits and your asshole if you would let me. Totally my dream girl. I am cumming, oh ma god , I can't hold back anymore.

Before, I could reread his text, I received a pic. WTF!!!! My soul almost left my body, it was a pic of cum all squirted out , translucent and stringy onto his plain white sheets.

bunnyboy7- A tribute to you my luscious goddess. If only I could see you in motion, in 3D babe, to truly worship you. (7: 15 KST)

Something in my brain started tugging at me as I sat there on my bed stunned at all his proclamations of lust. Wait, when did his time zone change from EST to KST??? Didn't Jungkook just come back to Korea a few days back? It definitely couldn't be him , right ? We already had a joking convo about that. What type of reverse psychology was he using, if it was actually him?

I was about to dismiss the thought from my head when I saw his cum pic. Wait, I had seen that tattoo somewhere. His pic had part of his hand in the frame. If you weren't an army who had hung up his posters all of your school, you might not have a clue. But, the M on one of his knuckes, was a big give away. I still found it hard to believe even with the evidence. Why would Jungkook of BTS, the beloved, hot and happening global popstar, be texting me? And what had become of my vow never to interact with them?

Had I actually just now talked to Jungkook? And seen his cum sprayed all over his sheets? and had him simping over hairy little, big foot me? Since when did people like me talk with people like them?