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Personal
Hi.
How did you get over your quarter life crisis?
Because I’m trying not to fall into the vast unyielding void. And I’m failing hilariously.
#TAG RANT. CAN IGNORE. YOON JUST NEEDS TO GET HER THOUGHTS OUT.#filler tag to push the rest of the rant down past the cut off point.#i literally don’t know what I’m going to do with my life and I can’t decide anything.#do I stay in flowers#do I leave flowers#do I try and get into film again#do I move to Europe#or delay that and go back to school for the one thing that’s always brought me pure happiness#or do I move out of my city#but in all of this I have to consider my partner and what he wants#but I don’t know what to do. i don’t know what the right thing for me is and I can’t afford a therapist so I ramble on the internet in hopes#of a shiny beacon of something rings into my head and figures everyhting out for me#like. I’ll be 25 in April. a ways off. but I’m 25 and I haven’t done anything. i don’t know what I’m supposed to do?? i had a life plan that#was derailed so hilariously hard by COVID that cannot be mended. and this is the first time I haven’t had a plan or a solid goal and so now#I’m floating in the middle of the pacific wondering which direction to turn in hopes of finding land#i have nothing to work towards and I miss who I was. i want to be that again. i wanna be her again. but it’s so difficult to do that.#anyway. rant over. needed to get that out. thanks for reading if you did.#this actually made me feel a lot better hope moly.
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#bye felicia
Pocahontas (1995)
#i end all my arguments this way#pocahontas (1995)#disney's pocahontas#disney pocahontas#disney john smith#pocahontas x john smith#pocahontas#john smith#pocahontasedit#pocahontasgif#disneyedit#disneygif#fyeahpocahontas#disneyfeverdaily#pocajohn#queso*edit#queso*gif#moment of all time. notice this is a parallel to john doing that dude thing of swinging on the tree branch earlier#whoever is elevated over the other physically has the advantage in the conversation/thinks they're in the right#every time john does it he gets humbled Immediately and it's hilarious#and he takes it like a champ. he even normally lowers himself around pocahontas throughout the movie#also i've seen ppl give john a lot of flack for this moment but i never saw a reason to hate him for it?#john's whole character is about being able to grow and unlearn the prejudices and toxicity you've been taught all your life#he's a flawed man and he's stubborn and he's trying to win an argument#but she schools him and he accepts that he was wrong. she puts down a boundary later on and he accepts that too#hating on him for not being mr. perfect at the top of the film is ridiculous imho#pocahontas is flawed too but for different reasons. they're both flawed people and they help each other grow in their own ways#there's a lot of give-and-take in this relationship and i really adore that#10/10 ship to Me#help i'm hyperanalyzing disney's pocahontas again
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help i can't stop drawing this guy
#marty mcfly#back to the future#bttf fanart#bttf#the poses and expressions are all pretty random i was mostly preoccupied with figuring out his hair hahaha#think i've got it down now#looked at a couple other people's martys and i love how many of them drew those two stupid antennae hairs#he doesn't even have anything that looks like them that often in the films due to him getting a new hairstyle every 10 minutes#but good to know everyone was like yeah this is him. we're going to keep drawing his two stupid antennae hairs bc that's him.#half these doodles have freckles and half don't i was trying something there#bc his video game model definitely has them. and if you look very close on pictures of him i think he has a couple#but it's not really something that stands out as a trait of his#but also theyre kind of cute so maybe i'll keep em#once again please excuse the crudity of these doodles i really gotta start doing something about those sketch lines#kit does an art
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no but for real not to beat a dead horse that i havent seen and dont plan to but they keep trying to do live action atla and i just Do Not Get It? its already been done? quite well? the original cartoon is very good and it doesn't feel like its actually really lacking in a way that a remake would improve upon, and it doesnt seem like either remake has improved upon it, and it doesnt feel like they ever get the tone right either? and why are they only ever trying to adapt atla? why not the comics? or korra ? the adventures of fire lord zuko. i mean fuck i dont even like that they turned toph into a cop but they could do a Toph crime drama procedural. probably shouldnt i dont think that would be good but at least it would be like. a new idea. fucking, adapt the kyoshi novels maybe. i wont forgive you if you fuck them up of course, but im already not forgiving the live action ATLAs so like idk. why not try something new. something a little more original.
#toy txt post#i dont understand why it has to be adapted to live action in the first place honestly but like maybe even just try Something Else#maybe even like a brand new show even. could try that. how many different original new shows have the streaming services#filmed and produced and then didnt release for weird tax cut reasons again even tho i thought that was one of the things the writers and#sag aftra were trying to fix with the strike? and then the companies all just keep doing it anyway...? cool?#fucking do a live action about The Cabbage Guy and his life#why does it have to be a retelling of the original show that was already good? i dont get it#im trying not to be too harsh here bc im sure theres plenty of one piece fans who feel that way about the live action vahgddjsvuvdjevj
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my cancelled-able trait from the queer community would be that i really apparently love messy endings. i love u happy endings and i also love u such sad, messy, ambiguous endings . . . i love u endings where u have this weird pit in the bottom of your stomach because you know that there's love here but u have no idea what to do with it and u just have to deal with the fact that someone is profoundly affecting your life and you're not gonna get closure from it anytime soon . . . i love u queer love stories where it's really just "u don't always get to see the sunshine and rainbows at the end of it . . . sometimes all that's left is just one big question mark and the quiet hope that they get their shit together" . . .
#caroline talks#don't get me wrong. i love u happy endings. esp when it comes to queer love stories#but i also just. love endings where it's just like. well. u DON'T know for certain whether the characters#are truly going to ride off into the sunset together.#the only thing u know for certain is that they love each other and that they're going to have to grapple with that forever.#maybe it's also just bc like. idk. i took too many film classes and so my head's forever stuck#on this one essay about how some really happy endings feel lifeless.#like how in some ending shots. the characters look like they've had their happy ending. but there's also some weird unease and confusion#and it's like. well yeah. because for every happy moment u get in life. u are still already thinking 'well what's next. what now.'#which is fascinating to me. but also me @ me: god maybe u can just be happy and it's not that deep.#but also. i do love the wonderful ambiguity of just. 'there is so much more to live. so much more to do.'#and i guess it's not just for queer love stories. i think a lot about the ending of my mister.#with lee ji an and park dong hoon walking away from each other but they're happy. u have no idea how their relationship will pan out but u#do know that they love each other.#or like. columbus. with jin and casey. they hug each other and thank each other for being in the other's lives.#and jin says goodbye to casey and casey says goodbye to jin and u have no idea if they'll see each other again. but u know they love each#other so very much. even if they'd only known each other for a second.#or like. beginners. anna and oliver love each other so much and u get this sense that. they're still a little bit uneasy/nervous about how#the rest of their lives are going to go. but they'll try.#or. god. the swearing jar.#the last shot. i think about it a lot.#there is love!!! but u don't always know how the rest of it is going to pan out!!! u just know that it'll pan out somehow!
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is ANYBODY awake to talk about fantasy au
#i spent 6 hours researching all forbes 30u30 recipients within the last 6 years and strategizing next steps to take while i work on this#freaking book since i DIDNT GET INTO THE COOL WORKSHOP BC I WAS TOO EXPERIENCED. hrmph. anyway i want to start acting again maybe i should#ask [redacted agent name] if he knows anybody i could talk to. its weird to be the age of 'trying to Break Into The Industry' and go#um. no no ive. ive been here before. and ppl go What Do You Mean. and i say um. well. ive been working in short films since i was about 10.#and they go Hm? and i go yeah i dont talk about my background much but Its All There#ppl diagnose me as a theatre kid and i laugh maniacally in throes of higher and higher rancor as i tear a sheet off of a wall that says#'CHILD ACTOR' written in blood#INCORRECT BUZZER NOISE ! CLOSE BUT NOT QUITE
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i told myself i wouldn't post this because i think it's most impactful within the context of the movie itself, as well as having gotten to know the characters a bit beforehand... but i can't Not post it because every time i watch it (which is often) i bawl like a baby and i just need people to see this. literally astounding that the same franchise that has a kid taking his pants off and flirting with women can be this emotionally profound. this movie is the hardest i've ever cried at any movie before!!! nostalgia is the central focus of the story too which really hit me hard... likewise, Hiroshi's been shaping up to be my favorite (maybe even because of this very sequence! who knows) so just. AGHHH. even without a solid understanding of the characters of movie-specific context, i hope this moves you as much as it moves me (from Movie 9: The Adult Empire Strikes Back)
#the waterworks always start for me at the part where baby Shin runs over to him :'))))#Shin isn't a character to be like 'mom dad you're the best parents ever i love you' and so i like that when in these more emotional sequenc#s when he kinda shows it instead through his body language and acting. such as being a toddler and running up to his dad#it's so cute#i also wonder if the butterflies that fly into the shot are representative of Shiro and Himawari who have yet to enter the picture but are#just as important to the Nohara family dynamic#also also really like when Hiroshi approaches the hospital that he's running but when he sees someone coming out he slows down#as if he's embarrassed to see someone that's caught him in a rush#and then resumes right to running again. wonderful character acting#aw man im trying to remember what else. im copying old observations i had from when i first watched the film but im getting weepy again LOL#i was so scared watching this for the first time i was terrified they would do the same with Misae and my heart literally wouldnt be able t#handle it#csc#vid
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Small thing I’m cooking for idksomethingclever99’s fic MITPP!! For some reason I’m having trouble tagging them but here’s the fic!!
This seemed fun to do… probably won’t get more done than this page though…
#omori#omori au#omori mari#omori sunny#I’m ALSO trying to do this with my mutual lynx’s fic is it a bird#because I originally wanted to do one big piece for it but I’ve been STRUGGLING and demotivated#plus I’d LOVE to do an adaptation of one of their chapters#ANYWAYS#detail I really loved in retrospect of chapter 12 is how this fic keeps the detail of the bedlam’s clothes changing to foreshadow her true-#-form as time goes on#or in this case aliquid#since he’s more of this shadowy creature than anything#being covered in an all black suit was a fantastic choice so I’m trying to add something elements throughout#namely the tie… but I’m going to try squeeze it in elsewhere#also not sure what Maris wearing here so I improvised… it probably says somewhere so I’ll go back and check#I thought her picnic sweater outfit would suffice as it’s pretty similar to what coraline’s wearinv at this point in the story!!#not sure how I feel about all the heromari I’m going to be able to draw…#on one hand it’s heromari but in the other hand it’s fucking Henry#he CREEPS me out god I hate him but I live him because I know that’s the whole point of him#get AWAY omg#anyway yes this is the Button Eye scene! so end of chapter 10 to start of chapter 11#I might do the drawing room too because I really want to draw it but that’s a bit of a stretch#honestly though coraline is a very visually interesting film and that’s part of the point and experience of it#and I feel like this fic deserves the same#especially with the amount of effort and detail and beauty idk puts into their settings… eg drawing room scene#anyway. rambling again. take art have fun#coraline
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i keep getting tiktoks of these younger gen z kids referencing a time they did something relating to fandom in public and now they're embarrassed by it and everytime i see one i sit there thinking over all of middle and high school and having genuinely 0 moments that i feel embarrassed by, like i definitely did a lot of shit these kids would be embarrassed by but i think these are all just really fucking funny
also photographic evidence of the kinda kid i was. these are from 2014/15 when i was in 8th grade
-desolation row one shot(still on wattpad gerard way/reader smut)
-twerk it on (mcr crack fanfic no longer on wattpad but i have another fic in my library called twerking in taco bell which definitely ALSO used for my reading log)
-frank iero must die(a serial killer/assassin frerard fic, still on wattpad)
-hair (really vague maybe a phanfic? nowhere in my wattpad library rip)
my binder i used in 7th grade i had a blue one that looked pretty similar to this for 8th grade but idk where it went, also the parts i scribbled out are my full legal name i had written on it. i wrote it normally and then the big spot is where i wrote my name REALLY BIG in elysian code from the vladimir tod books. also the lines are from when i used an exacto knife to cut up some papers and forgot that my binder was underneath
in conclusion yall can now see why im so shameless about talking about shigaraki the way i do
#base line i started sobbing IN THE MIDDLE OF MATH CLASS and had my phone taken away bc i was watching the mv for the ghost of you by mcr#i went to school with cat whiskers#me and my bsf made a presentation about an imaginary trip to the planet uranus and we filled it with so many memes and butt puns she started#laughing so hard she couldn't breathe and i had to do the entire presentation alone and we got a standing ovation#my 8th grade science teacher hated us#another time same class we had an assignment where we had to make a bunch of words with the periodic table and we did shrek and lucifer one#after another and when we turned it in our teacher read it and immediately told us to leave💀💀#same class again different friend we saw NA on the periodic table and started singing nanana by mcr and got sent out of class bc we started#laughing so hard we couldn't breathe#high school i would eddie munson on the lunch tables#found that aspect of eddie so relatable#filmed youtube videos at my old hs that STILL EXIST ON MY YOUTUBE CHANNEL#id honestly have them up for anyone to see but my old bsf found them extremely embarrassing and she thinks i deleted them#i used to go to school with a whole library in my backpack like the entire pjo/hoo series of unfortunate events harry potter etc#my backpack had a bunch of doodles on it and it said battaco big asf and it was an inside joke with my friends for years bc of it#i also used to go to school dressed as frank iero/gerard way/etc#pete wentz eyeliner#larped with the anime club in this little corner outside of the library bc it had a bunch of trees and a 6 ft long stick that we took turns#holding and screaming YOU SHALL NOT PASS‼️‼️#the middle school book club had movies days on fridays and when people tried to vote to watch the lighting thief movie i stood on my chair#and spent so long bitching about how bad it was that we had to do the movie the next monday bc people needed to go home and the librarian#could not stop my righteous fury#a teacher assaulted me trying to get me to stand for the flag so i dead weight dropped on top of him and then ran around the class to stay#away(real hard to do in a small music classroom) and when i got tired of that i beat him up a little and i didnt get in trouble bc he was#really embarrassed i got the drop on him(bc i had tiddies)#that man hated me for being trans#really got mad at me when the pledge started after that and id get up and salute while singing welcome to the black parade#was also genuinely bad at soccer that my teacher sent me off to other teachers when our class did soccer bc the only time i ever got the#ball i kicked it into the wrong goal#i got more stories but i ran out of tags :(
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*sigh* society has progressed past the need for more stagings of the guy montavon production of verdi’s stiffelio why are we still doing this production
#opera tag#opera#stiffelio#verdi#giuseppe verdi#don’t you just love when directors try to make something cynical out of something that is painfully open hearted#because that’s the main problem i have with this production (read: at least in the filmed version they changed the ending)#anyway#i realize that this is a very obscure complaint that literally no one else cares about but uh. i am not fond of that production!#and it gets done like 50% of the time anyone wants to do this opera#no but my exact reaction was: ‘ooh! someone is actually doing this opera!�� *looks* ‘THIS FUCKING PRODUCTION AGAIN???’
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youtube
*incredibly nerdy screaming*
#corridor digital#as someone trying to get into indie film & who has virtual production training & knows its limitations & cost this is VERY VERY exciting#and I sincerely hope more ppl get into trying to make this technique a thing again#TIL that while corridor do have a linkedin page they never post on there even tho they could literally go viral on linkedin#with shit like this which is a flex on industry I can only aspire to lmao#but also unfortunate bc it means I can't just share their post on there I'll just have to make a post of my own#if I want to show this to my virtual production etc ppl smh
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I remember talking to a friend last week and saying that if I'm reading obsessively it either means I'm extremely happy or extremely in need of help. alas goodreads my good pal you have GOT to be kidding me
#i have hit 60 books this year. we are three days into april. i have not been at the pinnacle of happiness this year so it is not that lol#ah well we hit rock bottom we bounce back up! i am trying to claw my way to the surface again!#granted this has been a series of not great distracting tactics to get my mind off the Horrors (i.e. through the mass consumption of#stories in book and film form) but at least i'm recognising and acknowledging it now#i need to actually deal with the Horrors so that there's a chance they'll actually go away!#but i am glad that i HAVE been surrounded by good stories. it has helped. it has been a method of conflict avoidance#in all areas of my life but it HAS helped to have those stories of hope hammered into my head and heart#anyway it looks like i HAVE lost a friend or am very close to losing one because it has been 1.5 weeks and there has been zero response#and there's a ton of Decisions i have to sort through this week#along with other mental health assessments my GP wants me to do#but God is good and He has been very patient with all the bouts of despair and loneliness and frustration etc etc#i just need to keep holding on and keep clawing my way upwards#despite all my failures as a friend and student and probably as a daughter as well this year there has been a lot of grace#and i am trying not to dwell on the past#slings and arrows of outrageous fortune in year 21
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God why did a video on Disney fatigue have to remind me Hocus Pocus 2 existed because that in turn led me to remember Hocus Pocus 3 was confirmed and the last update we got was October last year, aka that the story is being worked on.
#i hated hocus pocus 2 oh my god#its up there with rise of red actually in 'i never wanna watch this shit again not even for fun torture-'#like the film was definitely desperate in its plot and shit#but even video pointed out it was just the first film but worse#like the first film BARLEY left room for a sequel#like yeah you get the ending with the book...thats it though#the sisters are dead and thats it#like the way film had to force a kid into the sisters death scene just to justify bringing the sisters back#because there was no other way these fuckers were coming back#or at least they acted like it there are interesting ways to bring them back#but no gotta do the candle again....#like its just a film made to milk hocus pocus' cult following and thats it#like all it did was try to act like the sisters are now suddenly sympathetic and it can fuck off with that btw#and dont get me started on main characters i could not give a shit about by the end due to how they acted at times and such#and just...hocus pocus 3....2 was already pushing it but 3....ahhhh#granted nothing on it at d23 so wonder how well the story is going...
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btw after four years i finally finished all data from my iberian-inspired fakemon region. if you even care
#i might start ybraposting again soon who knows#i also have this crave to do pixel art and actually make maps and try to make this a game but i dunno how much this crave will last tbh#i made pixelart back in the day when i was in deviantart so. it's been a while#idk let's see what happens#anyways now that i have the final product#i can say. my fake region is ybra#where pokémon rose and carnation take place (very funny that they are named after the two last canon professors)#yes i know clavell isn't a professor but you know what i mean#i believe i started working on this during gen vii so. lol#anyways. we have ybra as the main region#BUT#there will be three dlcs after you complete the main story#yes three!!! honestly there were only two until i realized i left out a big part of iberia in my original plan for ybra for some reason#and these past days i've been making a region inspired by the kitakami dlc hehe#anyways onto the three dlcs. they are.#1) the glory of ossana. this takes you to ossana. based on southern france aka occitania aka whatever is between kalos and ybra#you have 5 gyms to beat here all thematic (for example there's one specialized on starters and the last one is specialized on legendaries)#of course being next to kalos there'll be references to it. the pokedex has pokemon both from ybra and kalos. and you'll get a new rival#for this region: serena - champion of kalos#also after beating the gym leaders you might get to battle a certain giant man that's 3000+ years old#2) the islands of the muses. this wouldn't make sense if you don't know the main story of the games. but basically throughout the game#you encounter these girls call the muses that protect the access to this dangerous evil pokemon#well. in this dlc you'll visit the homeland#based on the canary islands. each muse has an island associated to them (kinda. cause there's 7 islands)#there's also a mythical pokemon encountered in each territory of the muse and a mini storyline dedicated to it#also these islands are open world!!! and each island has its own pokedex#after beating all the muses and completing all their quests you'll be able to fight mnemosyne their mother and (spoiler) previous champion#3) (the new one!!!!) mysteries of lurmamua. you'll travel to this secluded land called lurmamua based on euskal herria when these mysteries#have been happening just as the region is preparing for an international film festival that is sure to attract tons of celebrities#from all over the world!!!
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people really need to learn how to be alone. Oh I’m not gonna go to x concert bc my friend can’t come, or I can’t find anyone interested in going with me, or I am going to go and bother the stage crew in the middle of the set because they’re the only people I know— fuck off. Are you going to go sit in your friends’ laps or do you actually want to hear the music
#This is an extremely grumpy post I know but I’m mad at someone for bothering me at a show where I was technically at work#Later on said oh it’s because I only knew four people there like good for you? Don’t try and justify it#Just because I’m not getting paid to do this doesn’t mean it’s not still important or my job#What do you want to me say— oh i see you knew three other people that’s why it’s#totally fine for you to come interrupt when my team is filming. Your having a chat is more important#Totally understandable. I take it all back#What nonsense. There are times when an explanation pisses me off more because it’s like do you want me to see your rationale and go#Ohh right that’s okay then’? Nope. Stay fucked off#Also only the lamest people do that kind of thing anyway. Either don’t bring it up again or be normal about it
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,
#thinking about possible discord block again#therere like. either 30 or 40+ million people from here who use discord for whatever reasons#like talking with people fidning friends gamin running business you get me yeah#ordinary stuff#and like. nuh bro that would be so STUPID for them to ban discord actually#like yeah there were millions of people using instagram twitter and facebook too and there were even more people using youtube#but#cmon dude. this is not serious at all#discord is not even similar to those sites#yeah i kno discor is doing something ny country doesnt like and there are some pieces of it that are already blocked#(no idea which ones#im only aware that they blocked nitro and server boosting)#theyre deciding wether theyre slowing it down like they did with youtube for now or fully blocking in a few days#no exact date just 'in a few days'#i justr really hope they wont block it you know#i mean hey we still have tumblr theyre not blocking the gayest website ever jippi#im literally gonna start killing if they ever think of blocking it too#i hate our analogues they suck and barely work#theyre literally trying to get us to use or version of youtube just by allowing us to pirate films on it#like bro????? i thought we hated piracy??? why are we wearing eyepatches cool hats and petting parrots in here???? where are we sailing to??#to hell?????? i guess so
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