#do not bother with discourse here i will Kill You

[bluteamplural]

created plurality is so awesome. you dedicated time and energy to forge other people in there with you because you wanted to. like objectively that fucks so hard that's like blacksmithing a consciousness

[anli-rambles]

Alright, since I'm seeing this discourse again on my dash, I'm gonna give my two cents even if no one asked.

I think the thing the "Haytham is a colonizer" crowd fundamentally gets wrong about this is that Haytham is a walking contradiction. That's the whole point of his character. His actions are in complete opposition to his actual core beliefs. Let me explain.

I'm not gonna excuse him working with racists and supporting an ideology that would essentially subjucate the entire human race in the name of arbitrary peace, because that's definitely colonizer mentality and that's inexcusable. Whether or not Haytham believes in the shit he says doesn't matter at the end of the day because the result is the same. That much is clear, and this isn't what I'm trying to justify.

The thing is, this same crowd will happily accuse those of us who like Haytham's character of actively sympathizing with colonizers. There are weirdos in every fandom so I'm not gonna deny that some may do that (in which case I do not claim them), but I can tell you that the majority of us don't. After lurking in this circle for over a year I can confidentally say that an overwhelming majority of us hate every Templar working for him except Shay, Weekes and Gist. The reason we like Haytham is, as I said before, because his core beliefs align with Assassin ideology way more than they do with Templar stuff.

The thing that bothers me the most about the "Haytham is a colonizer" crowd is that they have no interest in digging just a little deeper because if they did, they would see how glaringly obvious it is. Haytham hates the Templars. Everytime one of them does anything that follows Templar ideology, he deludes himself into believing they just "went Rogue" and executes them. He did it with Church. He did it with Braddock. He hated Washington's guts and wanted him dead when the guy embodied Templar ideals far more than anyone in his circle did. He did nothing to stop Ratonhnhaké:ton from killing Biddle even if he was on the Aquila with him at the time.

He had no interest in land expansion - in fact, his goal was to prevent it from happening. Unfortunately, he trusted Johnson with the task, and when the man decided mass execution was the way to go and subsequently got killed by Ratonhnhaké:ton, Haytham felt no empathy for him. In his journal, he even said Johnson asked for it by choosing mass murder of the Haudenosaunee chieftains because they refused to sell their land. His endorsement of Charles Lee is also a complete farce. He admits himself that Charles has very little chances of suplanting Washington because he's "too British" to appeal to the American settlers but that he'd rather work with him over Washington.

Hell, Haytham is the one who tells Ratonhnhaké:ton that Washington is a fraud who only cares about the freedom of white men specifically. He calls him out on it and he's furious. That's why he calls Ratonhnhaké:ton 'naive' - it's because Ratonhnhaké:ton fails to see how the people he works for give no shits about him and his people (and he isn't wrong on that, Ratonhnhaké:ton actually does believe supporting the Revolution will save his people up until then). He's not being patronizing here, his whole rant is in response to Ratonhnhaké:ton telling him Washington fights for freedom and that he was chosen by 'the people', when in reality 'the people' were a bunch of his buddies gathering in a room and going 'yup, Washington's our guy lads, case closed'. Ratonhnhaké:ton even admits that it's Haytham who made him realize this in the loading screen after the Sequence is over.

The whole reason Haytham doesn't defect from the Templar order is because the grooming/brainwashing runs too deep, and admitting that becoming a Templar wasn't his choice would be admitting that he failed to do the one thing his father wanted him to do - to choose for himself. So he deludes himself into believing that no, he did choose this way of life, even if he disagrees with pretty much everything the Templars stand for. And that's why he's easier to sympathize with.

I'll also add that I find it very ironic that Haytham critics aren't as willing to call Achilles out on his own bullshit, because what he does with Ratonhnhaké:ton is very reminiscent of what white people did to the First Nations irl. He barely knows this kid and already decides to use him as a surrogate son to process his grief through. He strips him of his Kanien'kehá:ka identity almost as soon as they meet. I'll never forget his "I'm not even gonna try and pronounce that" after Ratonhnhaké:ton tells him his name.

(Duncan is so right when he tells him later when they meet that he should use his real name. He has no reason to, he already immediately gets clocked as a Native whenever he meets people, Achilles' excuse doesn't work.)

I can't explain how pissed off I was when Ratonhnhaké:ton storms out of the homestead because he knows his people are in danger and Achilles has the absolute AUDACITY to tell him that "his struggles are the colonists' struggle". No the fuck it isn't ? How is threat of genocide and loss of their homeland ANY comparable to the British raising taxes on the colonies ? The worst part is that this mentality isn't just shared by Achilles. Samuel Adams also tells Ratonhnhaké:ton a similar thing when he claims the colonists are "no freer than the slaves". Excuse me ?

I've seen people call Adams out for it but Achilles always gets away with it scot-free when he's the one pushing Ratonhnhaké:ton to work with slave owners like Washington when all they want is to expand westward, burning down Native settlements along the way, and then has the audacity to claim it's in Ratonhnhaké:ton and his people's best interests to do so.

I'd take any Haytham critic a lot more seriously if they were also willing to call Achilles out for his undeniably racist behavior towards Ratonhnhaké:ton, but they don't. Because Achilles is supposed to be 'the good guy'. (And I don't mean to assume, but I think this lack of accountability for Achilles comes from a fundamental misunderstanding / ignorance of (and unfortunately indifference to) Native American issues, which we absolutely need to talk about more.)

What we're not gonna talk about, though, is how Achilles also owns a giant homestead on indigenous land that he lets other colonists settle on. Because of course it doesn't count.

Anyway. Those were my two cents. Do with it what you will.

PS. I think the comparison that was made with Edward also being a colonizer is flawed. While it was very similar at the beginning, with him leaving Wales to work as a privateer for the British Navy, he did a complete 180 later on and set out to work with indigenous people and fight for their freedom too. His mansion was also stolen from a colonizer (as opposed to it being built by him) and when he left the Caribbean to go back home, he gave it back to indigenous people instead of selling it to the highest bidder.

[colectingstrz]

INCOMPATIBLE HARMONY

⤿ a beautiful passion of hatred driving a narrow pathway for foreign emotions and surging familiar ones.

𐙚 g: enimes to lovers, university au, fluff here and there, angst. wc: 10.6k w: one kiss and mentions of a parent passing p: Jay x f reader

𐙚 - like 70% proof read it’s so long I tried 😪

౨ৎ ˖ ࣪⊹ ౨ৎ ˖ ࣪⊹ ౨ৎ ˖ ࣪⊹ ౨ৎ ˖ ࣪⊹ ౨ৎ ˖ ࣪⊹ ౨ৎ ˖ ࣪⊹ ౨ৎ ˖ ࣪⊹ ౨ৎ ˖ ࣪⊹ ౨ৎ

Your mother always said, “Either kill or be killed,” and you regrettably learned the hard way. Life is not easy, and it never will be. You must work for your goals and eliminate any potential distractions, even if they are those you care about. Everything that matters is success. Yet with more independence and freedom of choice u start to crack a little straying further and further away from the motto showing weakness and vulnerability. Success no longer being your priority as you found your focus on a particular someone.

you certainly would not mind eliminating a specific individual , a pest.. a loud, foul mouthed, vile, obnoxious, beastly, filthy inconvenience such as park.

It's not surprising to hear Jay harbours the same feelings as you; it's almost romantic when you think about it. Two people with a passionate desire hatred for one another.

౨ৎ ˖ ࣪⊹

Unfortunately, your Monday became more dreary when you met him waiting outside your professor's door, whom you had intended to meet.

“What are you doing here” Jay ignored you and continued typing stuff on his phone. The sound of his fingers aggressively tapping on his screen bothered you. “Hello? You know it's rude to ignore somebody while they're addressing you.”

Finally, he raises his deep, dismal eyes to meet yours. “I'm so sorry your majesty I didn't like your tone” he said with a grin “what's wrong with my tone? this is how I always talk why are your..so dramatic” You crossed your arms, your tolerance dwindling as you endured this discourse.

“No... today your tone seems more boooorish” you raised an eyebrow at his strange choice of words; you had no understanding what he had just said, which irritated you even more. You despised the way he used sophisticated vocabulary as if he were from 1985. “Do you want to purposefully mislead me? What do you think because you use fancy phrases, you're better than me, you antiquated freak”

Jay grinned. You despised it when he smiled because it felt like he was mocking you, it made you feel little, and you despised every moment of it. “Intentionally yes I'm glad to see it's working it brings me joy to see u distressed-and confused when I mess with ur little narrow minded brain maybe if u spent ur time reading rather than selling ur self out at party's every weekend you would actually know what im saying half the time”

You close your eyes sighing loudly as you try to compose your anger. He was wrong so wrong

Jay smirked as he recognised he had won. Picking up his bag, he approaches you and gently pats over your shoulder, “What's wrong? Can't bite back? Better luck next time, love.” Before you could respond, he walks away, descending down the corridor, leaving you to throw an internal fit as you accept your defeat.

౨ৎ ˖ ࣪⊹

“Are you coming to Jake's party tonight? It's at his beach mansion” you shrug as you begin to gather your belongings from your desk. “I'm not sure... with this approaching test, I need time to study.” Yujin rolls her eyes, grasping your arm in a plea “Pleaaaaaaaaaaseeee I don't wanna go by myself it's just one party it's not going to ruin your perfect 4.0 GDA!” you lightly break free from her grasp, “correction it's GPA.. and stop clinging onto me like a leech I know damm well u have plenty of other friends if I don't come it's not the end of the world” She groans.

“What if it is the end of the world! your my best freind I want to go with you w..what if I pass out ?? What if I.. uh.. get lost” she blurs out nonsense and you watch in disbelief shaking your head, preparing to turn and leave.

“Park Sunghoon is comming by the way”

You come to a halt in your tracks, slowly turning around. “Really?..Are you saying that only to get me to co- “yes! Really, he's back from France now; there's no way he'll miss Jake's party.” You sigh deeply, pondering whether a single male who is cute is more essential than your future. “I'll think about it.” Yujin smiles, grabbing you in an embrace and showering you with thank yous as if you answered yes (deep down you know it was a yes as well), before she swiftly leaves for her next class.

What you felt for Sunghoon was like a disease, slowly devouring you from the inside out. You've been pinning for him since your first year of university, and you thought it was just a crush until it wasn't. Now, a year later, your feelings have grown stronger. You would do anything to be in the same space as him-not to talk just to admire from afar You were a woman of many words, but in this instance, Sunghoon was different. It's as if you lost the basic mechanics of communication when talking to him; it's too embarrassing to go through again, so you avoid it at all costs and prefer to admire his features . Even in group setting with your friends you keep your conversations to a minimum.

And, of course, evil forces decided to flirt with and entice you once more by bringing not just Sunghoon but also his pest of a friend Jay into your presence as you make your way down the hall to your next class.

“Oh hey y/n it's been a while” Sunghoon smiles as he embraces you cheerfully. “Oh..h..hi umm how was France and the skating Ice- um, I mean ice skating,” you mentally leaped in front of a bus and ran yourself over 76 times because of the idiotic mistake you just made in front of him. “The ice skating competition was good I should hear back in about a week if I've qualified for the semi finals how have you been?” He looks at you intently and quietly, waiting for your response, while Jay silently notes every element of your expression. Both of their stares made you feel little uneasy, as if you were a vase on display in a museum, attracting a lot of attention. You felt your palms start to sweat.

“That's great to hear! Um.. I've been alright just p..preparing for exams right now.” You give him a constant smile, attempting to distract him from your inability to pronounce a simple basic ass word. “Yikes, midterms.. Hope you do well-Oh! Are you going to Jake's party? Or are you going to study? Parties weren't always your thing” Just as you open your mouth to speak, a rat joins in on the conversation despite the fact that he was not invited.

“Sunghoon it seems you've been gone a while she loves parties I see her at them all with that yujin girl I'm sure she won't miss this one will you y/n?” You glare at Jay, directing your focus to him, and imagine all the horrible ways you would torture him for ruining a moment with your crush. “I'm sure she can speak for herself, and trust me, Jay y/n is not a party girl... well, I have a class to go to, so maybe I'll see you at the party,” he smiles one final time before walking away, leaving you and Jay in solitude.

“Do you lack basic manners? Why are you entering into a conversation that has nothing to do with you? He was talking to meeee the last time I checked, and your not y/n.”He shrugged, “My manners are perfect, thank you very much, and I'm open to adding my two cents wherever I want to; all I did was state the facts.” You roll your eyes and reposition your back to hang over your shoulder.

“Facts? Stop acting like you know me Jay, you don't. You're not my friend, you're not my anything. Stay out of my business and my life.” You leave him as quickly as you spoke, bumping your shoulder against his as you storm down the hall.

Something you said right then must have touched a chord, since Jay's mood plummeted for the rest of the day.

౨ৎ ˖ ࣪⊹

Parties are just mobs of people, the perfect place for germs to hibernate and circulate like wildfire, with loud music that bursts your eardrums, piles of sweaty bodies, and excessive amounts of alcohol. You don't see what Yujin sees in this type of activity, but the show must go on, and it's too late to back out now.

Deeper within the mashion are Jay, Jake Sunghoon, and Jungwon, who are playing pool round after round. “Sunghoon, did you find any hot French girls or what?”Jake asks, peeking over to see Sunghoon as he effortlessly knocks down two of his targets into the hole. “Ice skating pre occupied me.. plus I still like her”

Now that Jay has disconnected from his talk with Jungwon, his ears immediately peek up at the sound of Sunghoon's crush, and he listens in curiously. He rarely discusses such topics, especially after his heartache with his ex Chaewon.

“Her? Omg bro it’s been monthhhhs” sunghoon sighs “I know.. but she’s just really pretty and kind I really want to get to know her more this year” Jake laughs placing a hand on his chest “ get to know her? Last year you barely held a conversation with the girl u need to work on your game if u wanna bag a girl like y/n”

Jay lifts his brow in disbelief and confusion. Sunghoon liked you. Considering the millions of girls he could have picked. Jay was completely baffled. Great distress surged over him. He became so outraged that he could no longer bear to listen to the discourse. Jay turns to the pool table, leaving a perplexed Jungwon in the middle of his sentence.

“Do you like y/n? Really, dude? Raise your standards.” Jake's mouth drops agape at his comment, and Sunghoon crosses his arms. “Yeah, I like her, and what about it? I think She's a great girl, what's it to you?” Sunghoon now turns to Jay, looking him down. The mood in the room shifts, and Jungwon, who is watching from a distance, becomes anxious about what is going on.

“It's nothing to do with me I'm just looking out for you as a freind she's not a good person” Sunghoon doesn't say anything for a time and simply stares at Jay. “Maybe u haven't had a good experience with her.. that's your opinion but I've had good with her and I'll stick to my opinion thanks for the concern bro” Sunghoon turns, grabs his drink, and leaves the room.

Jay gulped, grabbing the edge of the pool table firmly in rage. How could Sunghoon not realise what an awful person you were? All he wanted was to look out for him. Again, everything is always your fault. Jay groans as he steps outdoors, leaving the manshion.

He walks outdoors on the sidewalk, trailing his feet. He stares ahead to the shore, watching the clam ripples of water. He groans and walks on, but he comes to a halt when he notices you coaching against the wall with your head down.

He immediately becomes enraged again; it was your fault he was out here, and it was your reason he got into a fight with Sunghoon. He comes up to you talking this opportunity to throw a dig “so much for not being a party girl look at you here all drunk and wasted outside on the floor no self composure what so ever”

He waits, but your witty retort never arrives. He lifts his brow lightly, bending down to shove you, but is met once more with the presence of stillness. Jay feels an awful discomfort in his gut. He bends down to get a closer look, only to find your eyes closed and your hand grasping your chest while you breathe extensively.

“Y/n?… Hey y/n” he holds your shoulder trying to urge a response. “t..to many..” he moves his head closer angling his ear towards you “repeat that for me” you muster all the strength in your body to speak “c..claustrophobic..I’m..clau..” Jay hums in realisation.

He thinks quickly on his feet sitting down on the concrete, reaching for your hand and replacing the one on your chest with his own. “Listen to me right now. I need you to breathe in and out slowly, with 3 seconds in between, okay? Can u do that for me” you weakly nod, obeying his directions.

Each time you did, he would lightly sweeze your hand in encouragement, giving you reassuring “well done’s”and “your getting there's” the whole affair felt strange to you. He was really pleasant, calm, patient, and caring towards you. It was rare for Jay this came out of nowhere, but you didn't question it and accepted it with open arms because you needed it.

Shortly after you find your self calm. But the lingering feeling of jays eyes on you as the two of you sit in silence was uncomfortable. You find your self subconsciously looking down to your feet playing with your fingers. “So.. your claustrophobic I never knew that” you shrug still looking down “well yeah.. it’s not a big deal anyways” he hummus “seems like a pretty big deal if it weren’t for me you would have passed out”

You roll your eyes “no I would have been fine this isn’t the first time I topically do this alone no assistance needed park” Jay humms again his hand reaching to cup your chin forcing you to raise your head and look at him. You were shocked at the sudden contact and the way his hand felt so warm againt your cold skin. “Well..um are you okay now looking at your face you seem it” he then used his hand to turn your head slightly as he analyses your face. “I’m..I’m fine thank you”

A tingly feeling perks within him but he shuts it down nodding removing his hand from your skin. The absence of warmth had you feeling cold again but you brushed it off. Jay suddenly stands up dusting dirt off his back and reaches out his hand to you “come I’ll drive you home I’m assuming you woukd rather not go back in there” he raises a brow you nod hesitantly accepting his hand as he wraps it around your firmly.

“My car is about a 10 min walk are u fine with that? Well doesn’t matter if ur not we still have to walk regardless just letting you know anyway” you laugh a little feeling the sense of familiarity again this was more like jay. More like the jay you knew more like the jay you were used too. Yet that feeling in your stomach didn’t leave.

“Don’t do this again” you raise a brow “pardon?” Jay turns to you “going out in the dark at night in some alley by yourself something easily could have happened to you and no one would be there to save you” you roll your eyes “I know u don’t actually care about what happens to me stop acting like you do plus.. I was close to the beach house I would have been fine” jay sighs shaking his head “belive it all not im not a horrible human being your a girl and that make sure automatically vulnerable alone at night im just warning you love”

You humm “just save me next time then” you finnaly turn to look at him awaiting his reaction as he silently looks at you not saying a word. You quickly look away now feeling awkward regretting your exsistnce.

“Pay me I’m not playing superman for free”

Now at the car it’s mostly silent but a comfortable silence never in your life would you think you would be in jays car having him drive you to your dorm but life is full of surprises isn’t it. Soon you arrive home giving him a Short and firm bye before heading to your door.

Little to your knowledge even once you have entered your dorm Jay remains in his car watching you until he sees the lights shine in ur room confirming you have settled.

౨ৎ ˖ ࣪⊹

Studying was supposed to be peaceful and quiet, but all of that was disrupted the moment you invited Jake to join you.

You wouldn't call him a nuisance, but he was more distracting than anything else. Every 4 minutes, he'd start chatting about strange stuff, and when he wasn't talking, he'd be toying with your hair or poking your check unless he was performing some random asmr with his pen. Sometimes you wish you could just duct wrap his mouth so he would stop talking.

“Jake... please I'm really trying to focus here you know I have an exam soon” he looks down as if you had just rejected or something it made you feel a little bad “Fine.. if you want me gone just say that!” He crosses his arms and looks away, and you sigh, rubbing his shoulder, “It's not that it’s just you talk too much, I need quiet... on second thought yeah, leave, we can hang out later.” You sigh and Jake's mouth opens wide at your unexpected change of direction, huffing silently as he turns to go.

Peace and quiet has made a comeback

You smile to yourself as you study, but as usual, your tranquilly is short-lived when you hear the loud smack of a book beside you. Looking up, there's no one but jay. You raise a curious eyebrow; hardly one visits this section of the library unless a friend tags along, and you've never seen Jay here.

“What brings you here you don't come here this is my space” Jay ignores you, bringing out his laptop, iPad, and any extra papers. “I've come here to study obviously your not the only one who has exams here and last time I checked your name isn't plastered anywhere here so this is everyone's space,” he smiles and returns to getting his stuff.

You groan, your gaze returning to your laptop to drown him out and remain focused. However, that was difficult to do given how fiercely he was looking at you.

“Um, is there a reason why you keep looking at me like that? It makes me uncomfortable.” Jay's eyes stay hanging on yours. “Looking at you? what is it a crime to look at another human being? Arrest me.” He rolls his eyes. You shake your head, closing your laptop and giving him your entire attention.

“Your looking at me like ur going to eat me alive I don't like it please direct your eyes Literally anywhere else” Jay chuckles, moving his head closer to the point your noses would almost just almost connect . “Maybe I should eat you so I don't have to hear your nagging every day. I'll devour you whole nice and slow..how does that sound?”

Unbeknownst to you, a flush rushed across your ears, to which Jay saw with a wide grin. “That's!..that's really inappropriate, Jay. You can't just say things like that to a woman.” He tilts his head, leaning closer. His hot breath stimulating your exposed skin.

“I didn't mean it in that way get your head out of the gutter you.. naughty girl tsk” he paused for a second before starting again “plus I don't really see you as a woman” you raise a brow in disbelief and offence.

“So you’re gay?”

He then abruptly moved back. “Gay? Don't make such a misleading statement; I'm really attracted to women.” You smile slightly, seeing this as an opportunity to twist him even further. “But if you do not view me as a woman, you must see me as a man? And you want to devour this man whole, don't you? Nice and slow Don't worry, your secret is safe with me,” you giggle, covering your mouth from laughing so hard as you watched the dread drown out his face, which turned pale.

“Shut up you’re always so loud and wrong you really think I like men?” You nod “this conversation is proof right here of the Jay is gay statement” Jay places his fingers gently squeezing his temple in vexation. He didn’t appreciate being accused of liking men when he clearly is straight and didn’t like that it was you out of all people.

But

Suddenly he felt the need-the urge to prove it to you he wanted to show you just how wrong you were he wanted to put you in your place and shut you up. So he did just that

Jay leans over in a matter of seconds, one hand behind your neck, the other yanking on your lanyard, forcing tight proximity as he slams his lips against yours. If someone walked in right now, they wouldn't believe their eyes. You didn’t belive it yourself.

His lips brushed against yours, softly and carefully, like you were fragile and he was scared to shatter or harm you. His lips graced yours like butterfly wings, just long enough for him to inhale your breath, feeling the warmth of your skin in his palm as he pulled you in deeper, and the flavour of your strawberry lipgloss lingered in his head, driving him insane.

As soon as it started it quickly ended as you somehow snapped back into reality and roughly pushed him for you. Not wanting to meet his gaze you turn hastily packing your things and leaving as quickly as possible. Leaving a stunned and confused Jay alone in the library.

You slide your back down the wall of an empty corridor, like a dramatic main lead In a teenage drama attempting to regain your calm and gain a grasp of what happened just a few seconds earlier. Were you crazy--or was he crazy? Why did he kiss you, and why was it so long? Most importantly, why did you like it? You loved it You smacked yourself to recover your focus. Choosing to disregard this portion of the day as if it never occurred so that you can sleep soundly tonight.

౨ৎ ˖ ࣪⊹

After ten minutes of overthinking your life choices in the lounge area, the bell rings for lunch. You grab your phone and text Yunjin to come meet you as soon as possible. She soon appears and sits next to you. You had intentions of telling her but you couldn’t bring yourself too

“What's so urgent that you nee- you having a bad makeup day?” You lift your eyebrow “What?” “My makeup is fine, what do you mean?" she shakes her head, pointing to your lips. “Not your entire makeup, just your lip makeup, it's all smudged.” Flickers of the kiss swarm in your thoughts, making you nauseous.

You quickly get out your mirror attempting to fix it.

“Jay can I ask you something?” Jay nods as he takes a bite out of his sandwich “you smell unusual today” Jay raises an eyebrow, causing Jungwon and Sunghoon to focus on Jake's words: “Yeah, I noticed you smelled kinda fruity today, like... starberries” Jungwon continues, causing Jake to nod in agreement, “I don't smell like that; you're probably smelling something else.”

Unknowingly, while Jay continued to eat, seemingly a little concerned by the claims, Sunghoon discreetly watched Jay, his gaze fixed on the faint hint of lipgloss on his lips.

“Oh my gosh... look at his lips, there's lipgloss. You must have had some action before lunchtime,” Jake wriggles his brows, elbowing Jay. He gulps uneasily, caressing his lip and instantly recalling what he had done; he closes his eyes in regret. “Unless…ur gay? Or something I don’t discriminate ” Jake patted his shoulder

“I knew it I knew u were gay” jay now shoots his head up at that voice your voice as you and yunjin approach his table. You and yunjin were freinds with the rest of jays freinds and sometimes would eat with them though yunjin would limit interactions with jay as by her words “any enemy of my friends is an enemy of mine”

“Jay is gay?” Sunghoon laughs and finally joins the conversation, “Jay and gay, that rhymes!” Jake yelled earning some looks directed at your table Jay simply scowls, “Shut up, both of you.” Jay stands up and grabs his bag and sandwich before leaving. You sighed with relief as he went; sitting directly opposite him seemed wired after what had happened.

It appears that both of you failed to sleep well that night, so you spent it studying to pass the time, while Jay spent it twisting and turning in his bed, extremely upset and ashamed by his irresponsible behaviour. He wishes he could go back in time and prevent it from ever happening.

However, the burning sensation in his chest could not be ignored, and the taste of your strawberry lipgloss lingered on his tongue. He closed his eyes, remembering the taste and feel of your soft lips on his.

The next day was difficult, primarily because you had a council meeting, and of course the vice president had to be Jay, and you the head sadly had a private meeting every 15th, which left you two sitting in an office in silence

“Sooooo..” You spoke but no other words left your lips “should we reschedule this meeting at this rate we will make no progress if you can't even look me in the eye” you grimace a little

“Maybe if a certain somone didn’t just pull up and force themselves onto me I could look them in the eye” you whisper slightly folding your arms turning away. “Force? I didn’t force myself onto you it was mutual” you raise a brow “was it how?”

“You kissed me back and even added your tongue a little; you were clearly into it and wanted it- “shut up please” you placed your fingers on his lips, shushing him before he could humiliate you any further. “Can we change the subject I’m begging” Jay wanted to say more, but judging by your tone and look, he held back.

“Sorry” now, for the first time since this meeting began, you choose to look him in the eye “it was wrong of my to just kiss you out of nowhere I didn't respect your boundaries and I apologise” stunned, you remained silent for a moment before answering “thank you Jay” you smile a little for a split second before it fades away, not wanting to smile for too long because it's Jay after all.

He nods “can we like.. forget this ever happened” you don’t know what it is that you felt then but it was unsettling. You gulped it down agreeing with jays words. “Then let’s start this meeting then”

After a long 30-minute meeting, you and Jay split ways. You go to the library again because you have some free time and run into Sunghoon along the way. You consider many options for running. It's too late; he's already noticed you and invited you to come over.

“hi Sunghoon,” he smiles, waving, “hi y/n, so... do you have any free time right now?” You said, with a nod, “wanna come watch me practise at the rink?” You nodded again, but this time with too much enthusiasm, like a dog. You were embarrassed, but it was difficult to contain your excitement.

౨ৎ ˖ ࣪⊹

It was chilly. Fortunately, Sunghoon, being the gentleman he is, offered you his puffer, and even though you declined it 15 times, he insisted on forcing you to put it on and zipping you up. The attention in this situation felt good.

You stared in admiration as he skated; he was truly in his element, doing what he does best. You were captivated by how beautifully he swirled and twirled. You hoped you could watch him every day if your schedule wasn't so busy. Interrupting your little display, Yujin texted you.

Yapper: me and the guys are comming over the the rink to ice skate do you wanna come with?

Me: I’m already there? I’m watching Sunghoon practice :)))

Yapper : ARE U LOT ON A ICEY SKATEY DATE? ARE WE INTERRUPTING

Me: NO. He just asked since I also had a free you guys can still come it would be fun I’ll let Sunghoon know

Yapper: if you say so 👀 and btw your bestie is comming

Me: shut up you know dam well he’s not my “bestie” call him that again and I’ll block you

Calling out to Sunghoon, you step down and stand at the edge so he can hear you. “The others are coming down to skate by the way." Sunghoon nods. “Is Jay coming?” You're confused as this was such an unusual and precise inquiry to ask; he should just assume he's coming. You wanted to question further.

“Why are you asking? Is there a reason he shouldn't come?" Sunghoon hastily shakes his head, “I was only wondering—“why? Did something happen?” Sunghoon shakes his head again, “no, I just want to know that's all,” you humm, not believing a word he says. It's times like these that your psychology major comes in handy it was obvious he was lying to you. “Jay is coming”

Soon after they arrived, as you had previously briefed Sunghoon, he prepared and distributed everyone's skates. Jake eagerly put on his skates, excited and ready to go and followed Sunghoon towards the rink. Even when Jungwon and Yujin joined, you still struggled to put on your left shoe.

You attempted to fit your foot in again but failed. You were ready to give up and just watch instead.

“Are you gonna cry over an ice skate?” He teased triggering your frown “No!..this is just really hard” you turn back and try to put it back on for the fifth time. Jay rises up and crouches down in front of you, keeping the shoe in place.

“What are you—“helping I'm helping you, dumbass I'm holding the shoe in place so you can put your foot in, go on.” You comply, pushing your foot in with ease. Before you could reach down to tie the lace, Jay beats you to it, tapping your foot lightly once he's finished. “Thanks” Jay hummed as he turned to leave. Realisation came over you immediately, and you grabbed the hem of his jeans. “Wait, I don't think I can walk on my own. Just help me to the entrance” Jay grumbled, carrying your body up with ease.

“I'll just hold your hand the whole way and bring you to Yujin alright” you agreed, and he now held your hand in his, and you felt the warmth again, just like that night. You didn’t want to let go. Though from afar a pair of flaming eyes watched the scene unfold

“Come on Sunghoon I'm showing you my spin!” Jake yelled as he dragged Sunghoon's arm, diverting his attention. Despite this, Sunghoon cast glances at you and Jay as you entered the rink hand in hand, like some corny couple, and clinched his teeth in anger.

“This is so scary!” Jay glances at you, “You haven't done this before?” You shake your head. “No... this is all new to me, which is why I couldn't do my other shoe properly.” Jay now turns to you, putting your other hand in his. “Do you want me to show you something? I won't let go; don't worry, I'm not the evil creature you see me to be” his comment makes you chuckle “you sooo are if there wasn't any witness I'm so confident you would let go and leave me to fall” Jay rolls his eyes and begins to skate backwards slowly. “w..woah there What are you doing!? What if you bumb into someone! And then boom I fall have an accident and crack my head open and blee-“shh..clam down love im a pro.. I know exactly what im doing now watch and learn newbie”

Jay effortlessly glides backwards, occasionally whirling the two of you in a circle, abruptly changing from fast to slow and slow to fast. It made you a little disoriented, but it was entertaining. Soon, your freinds took notice.

“ I never thought I would see jay and y/n that close to eacother with out any violence involved” jungwon said with a smile “same.. when i look at them now it's kinda cute don't you think ?” Yujin seems complexly clueless of Sunghoon's crush on you: “uh.. nahh, I don't see it”Jake rushes in and shuts off that particular issue, mindful of Sunghoon's facial expression. Jake quickly skates towards the two of you and splits you up.

“Hey guysss y/n I wanna show u somthing come” Jake takes your hands, replacing Jay's warm ones with his chilly ones and yanking you away from him. You felt empty again, and you weren't sure why.

After approximately an hour of ceaseless skating, the others left for ice cream, but you, Jay, and Sunghoon decided to go to study. It felt odd walking back to campus; you could sense the tension, as if you knew something had happened and wanted to know more.

Before u had the chance to bring it up Sunghoon departed calming “something came up” leaving you and Jay alone. It was silent but a comfortable silence you kept talking glances at Jay really only because he kept talking glances at you he seemed he wanted to say somthimg so you gave him the green light

“I know u have something to say don’t be a pussy” Jay chocked on air at the sudden directness “well.. if you say so then please just here here me out when I say this but I really need something form you it’s kinda last minute but your the only option I have” You nodd urging him to talk “my mom is hosting one of her business events but during it she wants to set me up with a daughter of one of her brand partners but shes..she’s I can’t stand her really and..I was wondering-hoping actually if you can step in just for tonight as my temporary date so my mom doesn’t set me with her…??” Jay closes his eyes expecting the worst yet you say nothing he opens your eyes to observe you

Your countenance gradually changes, and you burst out laughing, “Jay, I never took you for the funny type, oh my..” Jay doesn't find any of this funny and frowns “I'm being serious y/n” you glance at him and your face slowly lowers as you realise he is genuinely serious “ well first of all, I don't wanna be dragged into y'all's rich people drama before they assassinate me in my sleep or some shit” Jay throws his hands in the air “no!..no this is real life not some tv show bs your overthinking this nothing bad is going to happen its just one night stop being dramatic!”

“I am not finished. Second, you don't really like me, and I don't really like you, so it makes no sense that we act like a couple. Third, I'm sure someone else would be better for this... you're not all that dumb, so no way I'm a contender.” Jay sighs, recognising that convincing you will be more difficult than he expected. He lays his hands on both shoulders and shoots you with an expression of great desperation.

“I can't ask anyone else; it's this night, and I'm running out of time. You're the only person I think can handle or tolerate my mother. I really need this, please. I'll do everything, give you anything, just do me this one favour.” You place your finger on your chin and tap it, trying to prolong this moment enjoying every second of jays expression. You glance into his yearning stare. “Hmm, I don't know..” Jay holds your shoulder more tightly than previously. “Please y/n you owe me I've helped you 2 times now this is the least you can do for me” you let out a sigh giving in “sure give me 50k” Jay opens his mouth in surprise at the outrageous quantity.

“Oh that’s not..” you sigh “you said anything this classifies as anything your rich aren’t you? You’re basically a walking bank! this should be nothinggg” Jay sighs “fine..but only after you have gone I’ll send it to you understood” you nod “if this is what its like to have a sugar daddy..then I’ll gladly come to every event can you imagine? 50k per event I might as well drop out of uni and start travelling the world” Jay chuckles at your imagination he found you amusing.

“I think I'm a bit young to be a sugar daddy plus I would never willingly wanna spoil a brat like you someone like you needs discipline” your smile dimes kissing your teeth you pinch his arm earning a groan

“What makes you think I want you to be my sugar daddy!? I'm not a brat, and I don't deserve to be disciplined at all, especially by someone like you. Take your own advice.” Jay hums, “You want to discipline me? Didn’t know you were into that” He smirked, leading you to glance away. “Why are you saying it that way!..You're so weird Jay, this is why you don't get any girls because you're a fucking creep.” He laughs, wiping an imaginary tear from his eye.

“yet your going to a fancy event with this creep tonight aren’t you?”

౨ৎ ˖ ࣪⊹

Another thing you didn't expect was Jay to be in your dorm room, just you and him. Jay had bursted in pushing some bags into your chest.

“What's this?” He rolls his eyes. “Are you blind?” It's obviously shopping bags full of clothes and shoes. Use your common sense...anyway, I chose this outfit out for you, so go and wear it; the party is in an hour.” You grumble in irritation, going to the bathroom to change.

You would have preferred that instead of parting ways after the conversation, he had informed you of the timing so you could have begun working on your hair and makeup instead of turning up to close to the time where you were in your lounge wear

After getting ready, you come out and present yourself to Jay. It was a long wine-colored green dress shoulder less showing your collarbone. The sleeves ended at your wrist, slightly flared. It embraced your curves, trailing down to the floor and encompassing your body--in a wonderful manner. Jay matched it with gold earrings that flowed down, a simple necklace with a diamond in the centre, and low heels. Jay hummed in fulfilment, looking down at you from top to bottom.

“How do I look?” Jay nods, “You look good, so good I'll turn straight for you.” You smile and laugh at his comment. It seemed he did have a sense of humour. You excuse yourself shortly rushing to do your hair and makeup while Jay is getting ready in your room. Shortly after, you emerge, stunned to discover his finished look.

He was dressed in an all-black suit with a black turtleneck, which wonderfully highlighted his features, particularly his jawline. You didn't want to acknowledge it, but he looked great. You subconsciously ogled at him, and Jay smiled proudly. “You like what you see love?” You shake your head, “Meh, it's fine I guess.” Jay grins to himself at how quickly you denied, as if your mouth didn't water at the sight of him. “Well then let's get going wouldn't want to be late now would we”

Soon you arrive. Jay comes out and opens your door, assisting you out of the vehicle and locking it behind him. He rests his hand on your waist, but he soon removes it. You turn to him “Can I put my hands there? Are you okay with that?” You nod gently, reassuring him. He places his hand back there, confirming to you the warmth you didn't realise you were missing. It made you feel at ease.

You both walk in while Jay greets all these people you don't recognise. To say you felt out of place is an understatement; you were dressed appropriately, but you didn't feel the part. Soon, a woman appeared, and from her appearance, you could tell she was Jay's "scary" mother, his words not yours.

“Hello, my lovely boy. Oh! And who could this be? Jay smiles and pulls you closer, “This is my date y/n.. and y/n this is my mother.” You bow and smile at her. “hello it's lovely to meet you Mrs park” His mother looks you over, looking for flaws to criticise you for. She stiffly smiles, but you know it's not genuine. “Hello there dear.. it's a pleasure to meet you. What do your parents do hmm?” You gulp.

Clearly, you and Jay did not think this through; you had not prepared anything, so you simply stated the truth. “My father was a senior clinical psychologist and my mother is a paralegal” she hums as she takes a sip of her drink. “So your parents aren't doing so well,” “ah.. what a same” you wrinkle a brow, “pardon? What do you mean by that, Mrs. Park,” she shrugs.

“A psychologist? Might as well have been a doctor, far more money, and a paralegal, was it not enough to not just be a lawyer, maybe she failed law school? I guess.. everyone has to find a means to get by."

Your rage must have been obvious. Jay gently squeezed your waist, rubbing it slightly. You couldn't tell if it was to calm you down or a warning not to overreact, but you moved on impulse. No one would speak about your parents, especially your father, who had passed away.

“Listen here..Mrs Park. I do not appreciate your comments regarding my parents' employment. As you seem to be unaware about, a psychologist is a very wonderful vocation. My father was the head of his own business and owned it; he worked in private health care. He earned a lot of money, more than enough to fucking survive…” you took a deep breath to gain composure “Oh! and for your information, I'm also studying psychology so that when I'm older, I can be as successful as my father-and just because my mother isn't in the spotlight of a law profession doesn't mean her work is any less important; she does all of the behind-the-scenes paperwork without the help of others like her , lawyers would have nothing to present in court. I’m sure you didn’t know that since your mindset is clearly limited”

Mrs park gasps and opens her mouth to inject but you cut her off “My mother makes a lot of money; she's not a billionaire, but she lives nicely and has raised me and my brothers comfortably, so do your research before you start talking down on jobs.” You handed Jay your drink and turned away to leave.

Jay's mother was taken aback because no one had ever spoken to her like that before. She was silent; you chewed and spat her out. As yunijin would say “you ate that girl” Jay was fairly pleased of how you stood up for yourself in the face of disagreements. One thing he liked about you was that no matter who it were, you held firm for what you believed in and never gave in to anyone else. “That insolent, arrogant brat! How could she!?” Jay turned to his mother. “She may be a brat at times, but she is not arrogant in general please stop from talking about my date in any unfavourable way, mother…” Jay quickly turned to walk after you.

You sigh as you step out onto a random balcony, embracing the chill. You lean on the edge, looking over the neighbourhood and gazing at the stars.

“The sky is beautiful isn't it?” You humm your eyes, not leaving what is in front of you. “Are you trying to flirt with me right now?” He rolls his eyes “maybe.. is it working love?” you smirk “if anything im turned off repulsed even disgusted it- “alright no need to over do it like I'm some creature who lacks in every ability to charm a woman” you look him in the eye “maybe you are? But one things for sure you certainly did not charm ms back there park. Neither your mother but that’s not the focus”

Jay's smile shrivels under the implications of your words, and he moves closer to you. “Listen.. my mother, like I said, she's scary, and it's hard to voice my opinions against her.” You cross your arms. “I get that, but she basically humiliated and billeted my parents. I know we're not close, but even if you said something or tried to stop her, I'd have appreciated feeling like im not on my own back there...you know? But I think I anticipated too much from you.”

Jay sighed. “What do you mean by that, and what are you trying to say? Trust me, I wanted to say something but couldn't bring myself to…” “ I'm sorry, I really wish I said something. I didn't like how she talked to you either, and I want to take accountability for that because she's my mother. I feel partly responsible, especially since I brought you here; it's my fault. I'm so sorry, y/n, and I completely understand if you just want to leave, you can I won't force you to stay.”

You turn and move approach him. You had no idea what possessed you to do such a thing, but before you realised it, you had placed a palm on his cheek, cupping it. “Honestly, everything is fine. I get where you're coming from. I don't know about your relationship with your mother, but if it's as difficult as you claim, I'll go with it. It's fine; I handled everything on my own rather well, didn't I?” You smile to yourself with pride. “I’m an independent woman after all”

Jay returned the same look, and if it hadn't been so dark, you would have noticed how bright his cheeks were at the contact of your cold hands “I like my women independent” he winked at you, causing you to quickly retreat your hand back using it to hit his chest “s..stop it” Jay smiles “would you believe me if I told you I stayed silent because I knew you were going to jump in so there was no need..haha” you flick him in the arm, making him yelp “don't make me change my mind park” jay quickly shook his head “just a jokey joke..” You smile as you move towards the door, “No worries then let's continue what we started”

The rest of the night went nicely; Jay's mother scowled at you the entire time, but never said anything, which you appreciated, and the meal was as good as you expected. “So this is what you affluent people do when you're bored?” he shrugs. “I suppose so.. I have these all the time” “How do you have time to prepare for midterms? Especially if it's 11 p.m. and no one appears ready to go home” you raise a brow awaiting his reaction “well... I make it work and quit interviewing me” you frown

“I am not interviewing you. I am only asking some inquiries. Can't a girl be curious?” he rolled his eyes, “you seem too curious for someone who doesn't like me”

“Well maybe I don't like you a little less than before” Jay raises an eyebrow, querying how you worded your sentence “Clearly, you visit the library, but not enough. Your sentence is grammatically incorrect nevertheless, I know how to decode the drivel you spew, therefore I understand you.” As usual, Jay had to find a way to irritate you. “If you understand me, you could have just said thank you and called it a night.” Jay laughs, looking at his watch.

“Like you said it's getting late we have class tommrow come on let's go I'll drive you home” you nod “loving the jays girlfriend experience it's a shame you have such as attitude for that I'll rate it a 7/10” Jay stands up with his hand against your back, guiding you through the crowd. “A 7/10? Come on, I treated you well tonight; I even gave you this lovely outfit and shoes, and I- “woah, woah, cool down, I was just kidding.. you've been so sweet to me today I’ve basically fallen in love with you at this point” you smile.

“Your in love with me?” You hum “I said basically doesn’t mean I actually am don’t get my words twisted I know how badly you want me and all..” you wait for his response yet all he does is stare at you with a look. A particular look you recognise, the look he gave you before he kissed you that day. Was he going to do it again? You secretly hoped he would.

“Y/n actually I- Jay! Is that you my favourite nephew I’ve been looking everywhere for you!”

Dispite the interruption Jay isn't sure what hit him, but he wanted to make you smile like that again and again, and he yearned for another time when he could be alone with you and do whatever he wanted.

౨ৎ ˖ ࣪⊹

From that day onwards You and Jay were near each other more from the start. You studied together, spent your spare time together, and even greeted each other in the hallway. While you still had some arguments and words flung back and forth, they were less frequent and less sour and bitter.

“Jay Jay Jay jaayyyyyyy” he hummed as you poked his cheek. He felt the sharp agony of your acrylics scraping his cheque, but not wanting to upset you, he took the pain silently, allowing you to do whatever you pleased. “I've been thinking we should go out,” he shoots his head up. “G..go out really ?” You agree, “Yeah, there's this cool bowling place that opened about 15 minutes away from campus; we should go together.” Jays smile dropped as glad as he was to go with you, he was hoping it was to “go out with you,” if you catch the drift

But Jay was happy that you were happy and that’s what matters now. Your closeness to eacother was somthing Your friends soon all picked up on yet no one questioned it too much because they were relieved that everyone in the group was now on good terms.

But was that really the case?

What was supposed to be a relaxed atmosphere transformed into an uneasy, uncomfortable quiet. Jay Jake Sunghoon and Jungwon are present, but despite the normal cheerful environment, today no one speaks.

“So.. what's up guys..” Jake sought to break the silence but received no response. He sighs and sinks into the chair, succumbing to defeat. “Actually Jake..” Sunghoon answers “I wanna know what's up too” he speaks addressing Jake, but his eyes are straight on Jays, and Jay understands precisely what he is talking about.

“If you have somthing to say just be straight with me Sunghoon” he clicks his tongue againt his check growing agitated “what I can’t seem to understand.. is how you wanted me to stay away from her so bad because she’s a “bad person” yet all of a sudden your associating yourself with you even hanging out with her privately which you never did before..”

“Honestly I wish I could give you a straight answer for that.. but I can't really explain how I feel and I'm sorry for how I acted back then towards you about it I shoukd have just been true with my intentions” he said “then what are your intentions” Jay gulped, little nervous beneath his gaze, “I like her too, Sunghoon, and I think I always have..maybe ”

The room fell silent as Sunghoon's eyes ramined on Jay's eyes, twitching fingernails digging into his skin as his skin redness became sore. “I feel like such a fool.. my best friend has been lying to me all this time I knew it that day with the smell it was y/n's I smelled the same when I invited her to ice skate with me.. you've been lying under my nose this whole time kissing her doing god knows what with he for all I know! when I expressed my fucking interest in her!” Jay felt terribly awful for how it all played out. He wished things had been different, he wished he had never liked you or that sunghoon had never liked you in the first place, but it was too late.

“Sunghoon, I-“save it” he stood up, grabbing his bag departing. Jay gazed down with regret. Jake sighed and hurriedly stood up to follow, while Jungwon remained behind to check on Jay.

Straight after class you proceed to the lounge and in the corner you find Jay and Jungown. You approach them ready to say high until you catch on to the vibes. As you gaze at their looks bewildered, you pry

“Guys? Is everything alright?” They both glance at you silently. Jay says nothing at first but mutters a brief “I'll talk to you later” as he collects his things and leaves. Jungwon tags along, giving you an apologetic look as he departs, leaving you perplexed and alone to ponder your feelings.

Jay has distanced himself since that day. Perhaps you would have preferred not to see his face back then, but the you now dreaded it. He became part of your routine, something you looked forward to, and now it's as if it never happened. You waved at him in the canteen one day, he looked away, (ouch) the next you asked him a question, he got up and left, the other at the store he made eye contact with you and went into another section , you called, he declined, you texted, he was online but left you on delivered.

It's almost pathetic how badly you wanted to talk to him despite the fact that he ignored you every time, but you didn't want to give up; you had some hope that he'd ultimately talk to you, but he didn't.

Yujin was becoming concerned about your state; you stopped hanging out with the others at lunch, you didn't respond to the group chat despite being the most active, you stayed in your dorm most of the time and stopped going out with everyone, and when you did, you looked tired and drained this wasn't like you at all.

“What could I have done wrong yujin.. I don’t understand we were so fine like 2 weeks ago then boom ghosted” yujin sighed as she pattered your back in attempts to comfort you she truely didn’t understand either “I really don’t know.. it seems you guys were fine from what I saw maybe it’s a him issue”

౨ৎ ˖ ࣪⊹

Now it's the 15th, the day you dreaded. You had no idea how you would deal with Jay, or if he would even show up, because he now appears to despise you. You felt your stomach churn, which was a restless sensation. Taking the deepest breath your body could bear, you opened the door to see Jay sitting with some papers and reading them. You silently step in, locking the door behind you and sitting a few seats away while bringing out your paperwork.

Silence. As you expected

But impulsively it felt like the one chance you had to receive answers and closure because there were no excuses for him to run away and ignore you. “Jay” he hummed, not looking up, “why are you ignoring me? Have I done something wrong?” Jay doesn't say anything for a moment but eventually says “no”

“Why am I getting silent treatment then? And look at me when I'm talking to you.” Jay sighs softly, looking up to meet your gaze, and immediately lowers in sorrow as he sees your expression. “I've been wondering for weeks what I must have done to irritate you.. but I can't put my finger on it. We were getting there, Jay and we were getting along..then you just cut me off out of nowhere. What was the point if you were just going to do this? You might as well have just let me live my life, but no you made things complicated.”

“I..I'm sorry” you scoff in incredulity. He's not sorry; if he was, he wouldn't have done this to you in the first place if he cared enough. “ If you were sorry, you would not treat me this way, or... is this the goal to make me like you so you can then mess with my emotions!? and make me feel like shit since you despise me so much? If so well done actor of the fucking year.. you fooled me for sure.” You shake your head standing up, Jay replicates your movement, reaching out quickly seizing your wrist.

“Hey... no, no, it's not like that at all! Please hear me out. I didn't want to handle things this way” you sharply, remove your hands from his grip. The warmth he once gave you feeling disgusting It's as if a switch went off in your head, erasing any developing feelings and replaced them with what you once knew.

“What? Want to mislead me again with your lies and restart the cycle? Cut it out, Jay, you've won! Are you pleased with your achievements? Are you satisfied? And to think I thought we could someday... well, it doesn't matter anymore, does it? I don't want anything to do with you, Jay.” Jay was frustrated and scared, and he didn't know what to do. He attempted to convince you, but you refused to listen.

You turn to leave, ignoring his pleads. “Jay, if you know what's good for you, stay away from me right now. You've been doing so well lately, I'm sure it won't be a problem for you. Keep up the good work goodbye Jay,” you turn away, slamming the door behind you, leaving Jay to linger in remorse.

In frustration, he smashed his fists against the table, turning red. He was extremely angry. Angry at himself for being so dumb and small-minded; if he had just been honest with you, maybe things would have been different. Jay wasn't sure what to call it, but it felt like heartbreak more than anything. A wave of anguish overtook him, robbing him of appetite. He felt intense pain in his midsection, like if a shard had sliced through his gut. It felt like death, like despair, choking his body's breath and shutting down his brain effecting his ability to think.

With each passing day, you take another step away from him leaving him in the dark as he once did to you , roles now reversed he feels the same pain you did. despite his constant request and pleas that you show some signs. Your eyes show him distrust, and an averted stare.

“She's leaving today she didn't even say goodbye” Jake frowns and looks down as Jay strides into the room, reading a brow. “Who's leaving?” Jake and Yujin froze. “Uh.. no body jay it's nothing” he crosses his arms “tell me” Yujin keeps her mouth shut to keep her world safe, whereas Jake blabbers your secret under even the slightest pressure.

“Y/n! She is travelling for Canada today- her flight is at 8:45” Jake hurriedly covers his lips while Yunjin slaps him harshly on the shoulder “your so... useless,” she sighs in annoyance now looks at Jay "if your thinking of going don't bother there is no way you will make it in an hour she will be gone and wants nothing to do with..”

Yunjin halts in her sentence in shock as Jay speeds out his room you could practically feel the gust of wind from the speed at which Jay ran to his car. This was his last chance he had to at least try maybe now maybe now you would be willing to talk to him and sourt things out he needed and has been yurning to be in your Presence for so long

You sighed as you waited in queue to board your flight. Was this a hasty decision? Perhaps would it would improve your mental health 100%, especially since it was only for the rest of the academic year you needed this time for yourself. As you go through your playlist, you select a song and discreetly hum along to it, closing your eyes and immersing yourself in the music.

“Y/n!”

You were so engrossed in your music that you missed Jay desperately calling out your name as you made your way to the front, scanning your passport and pulling your bags closer to the jet. Jay worried and tried to get closer to you, but the airport was packed with people "y/n!" He called for you again.

But it was too late your figure was gone.

You wonder occasionally if you and Jay were actually incompatible , and how two wrongs may function together so strangely. Was your perfect harmony a lie?. Was it only temporary, or was it even there at all?-Or simply a thought you deluded yourself into thinking since you craving his attention so much.

You guess you will never know and neither will he.

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ᝰ.ᐟ - note : after being gone for moths I’ve finnaly had the motivation to writeeee. This has taken me days hopefully you enjoyed and thank you for reading ૮₍ ˶•⤙•˶ ₎ა

@SOOTREEPEAR

[cynicalmusings]

Thank you for responding so quickly! So, what if Socrates!reader got so speechless was because someone brought up something deeply unsettling/even traumatic as a way to gain the upperhand in a debate, I imagine anaxa would react pretty badly lol

i spent an incredibly long time thinking about this ask… and the answer is pretty darn long, too. for those interested, below is first an explanation of my thought process about how to get the reader speechless and traumatised, and then how i think it might actually happen:

My thought process: 

My first thought to answering this question was, how do you go about hurting somebody? Initially, what came to mind was by getting at something they’re trying to hide — generally speaking, the more you hide, the more you’re vulnerable when it’s exposed (think of, like, Blanche from Streetcar, if you’ve read/ seen the play)

Now, this approach was hard because reader doesn’t really attempt to hide things; they’re very open about their thoughts, experiences, etc, so any ‘exposure’ of some potentially harmful thing they’re trying to hide won’t work because they’ll most likely have been upfront about it from the get go, or at least not afraid to admit to it when the information came out

The reader is also very unruffled as an individual — you can try to get at them with insults or even bringing up a painful memory, but it’s like water sliding off a duck (yes, that is a reference). What I mean is that they’re also very good at bounding back/ moving past emotionally taxing events, so going back and pointing out any potentially traumatic memory won’t do much; again, even if they are still affected by the event (I’m definitely not saying here that they’re impervious to painful events; that’s definitely not the case), they’ve made at least enough peace with it for it not to bother them too much

So, when that approach failed, I thought — another way to get at it is to get at something they care about

After a while, I came to the conclusion that they value authenticity very deeply (possibly without realising it, because it comes so naturally to them that they mistakenly tend to assume it applies to others as well) both within intellectual discourse but also within people; authenticity above all else 

If you’re an awful person but open about it, they’ll still treat you with courtesy when speaking with you; they’d much prefer that honesty to somebody who isn’t as bad, but pretends to be much nicer than they are while being a snake once their back is turned 

Whereas arguments are very clear — their conclusions, reasoning, motives can’t lie or be deceptive in the same way a person can, even if the argument can be fallacious or flawed 

Unfortunately for the reader, they’re brilliant when it comes to logic and argumentation, but not so much when it comes to the real actions and motivations of real people, which are not always so clear-cut and can’t be taken away in the same way an argument is; they’d never really suspect, for example, that they’re being deceived or manipulated in a conversation 

THIS aspect of them — their well-intentioned, willing nature to engage with other people and their assumption that people will be as open as they are when talking — is where they're most vulnerable. So this is where we attack :D

ALSO. Because they deeply care about their pursuit of knowledge and the sharing of learning with others, I do think they’d be deeply affected if somebody was hurt/ endangered/ something bad happened to them because of something they said; e.g. imagine a group of bright-eyed young students who really look up to them and love talking with them getting killed in the black tide or some other situation because they went off to pursue some hypothesis the reader suggested may be true;

Reader still has the clarity of mind to appreciate that it’s not their complete fault — they couldn’t have known this would happen — but they would still take the responsibility very seriously on themselves for leading these innocent, curious people astray 

ALSO. If something of this sort did happen, it would be very good grounds to use for those who want reader gone (be that imprisoned or put to death) 

So. Now that we’ve got all that sorted, here’s how you actually go about traumatising them. 

(This next scenario might require a bit of suspension of disbelief, but I think it’d be a very effective way of leaving them speechless and traumatised:)

Let’s say, for argument’s sake, that you have a small group within the Grove who hate — HATE, loathe with every essence of their being — the reader. Like, they’re vindictive, and hateful, and horrible, no morals, and want little more than to see reader’s life crash and burn, and so they go about instrumenting a plan to do just this 

They’d approach the reader with faux friendliness and eagerness to converse with them (essentially taking advantage of their relative inability to suspect anything is off) — and the reader, ever willing to talk to anybody who’s interested (in fact, particularly willing in this instance, because usually it’s them initiating the discussion; so if somebody ELSE starts the discussion? They’ll be super pleased), will gladly entertain them 

Over time — depending on how horrible these haters are, a few weeks, months, maybe even years (although that feels like a stretch) — the reader begins to form what they believe is a genuine, deep connection with these people, who have a similar eagerness to learn and uncover knowledge as they do, and they start trusting them as close friends (little do they know, it’s all pretence)

Then, finally, the haters decide to make their move and expose the game, probably publicly, to take them down — e.g., one day their steer the conversation in such a way that they almost… trap the reader, somehow? Like, they can’t get out of it (not sure exactly how they’d manage or the specifics of the conversation/ trap, but let’s assume they succeed); and then reveal that they never cared for the discussions or any of it 

And while reader is reeling from the betrayal, bring up the fact that that earlier group of students wound up dead/ whatever because of them (this info was probably kept relatively private at the time as not to cause panic among the students, and if it’s linked to the black tide, no doubt it was worrying and required further investigation and care beyond just what happened to the students — although these haters would leave out those details), using this and their general (mis)conduct as reason to get them at least thrown out and locked up, if not sentenced to drinking hemlock 

Reader, although shocked and hurt, wouldn’t defend themselves against these charges; there’s no doubt they could — they certainly have the ability to, and probably sufficient evidence too — but they take their responsibilities seriously, particularly when it comes to the ideas they share with others 

So, even though they know it’s not entirely their fault what happened, they’d accept the sentence and whatever people decide to do with them without struggling or kicking up a fuss: if this is the way it must be, they’ll go quietly, without potentially drawing anybody else into harm’s way.

And Anaxa… he would be FURIOUS. Actually fuming. I don’t think anyone would have ever seen him as uncollected and genuinely angry as that before, and probably ever again. There’d be rumours and gossip still spreading about what it was like two decades later. In any case, his conduct would be… very uncharacteristic for him, for a few reasons:

(1) The fact that this happened right under his nose by students audacious enough to pull it off, and he didn’t catch on or prevent it (even better/ worse if they’re HIS students) 

(2) The fact of the matter itself; that an injustice (personal, legal and intellectual all at once) has been done to somebody undeserving of it (no doubt the reader would press him on what precisely he meant by that, but unfortunately, they’re not here to raise the point…)

(3) Finally, the fact that it happened to the reader makes all of the above even worse, because now it’s personal. I actually think this would be a kind of wake-up moment where Anaxa realises just how much they mean to him/ how much he actually cares about them in their absence 

In the moment as it all unfolded, he wouldn’t have enough evidence to get them out of it, although he’d certainly try his best to make a case for their innocence; because let’s be honest here, is this unequal system (whatever system it is… I’m imagining some democratic voting thing similar to what they have in Okhema but related specifically to affairs of the Grove, with some connections to Okhema for bigger problems — e.g. giving them a death sentence) really going to take the objection of Anaxa, who although being a professor, is known as a blasphemer and has public opinion stacked against him? 

(I also think that, while making his case, he’d still be relatively level-headed, although increasingly less so and you could definitely tell there was something boiling up under the surface; after the crowds and the reader were gone, that’s when he’d go a bit crazy.)

He’d spend the next few days furiously putting together a case for your immediate release and compensation; and in the case that didn’t work, he’d start plotting an alternative plan to get you out of your situation — whether that be bribery, a prison breakage with the help of some of your other supporters, or something else, he’d stop at near nothing until you were back safely and unharmed (and preferably by his side, too). We know Anaxa is the type to go the full length when he’s dedicated to something — he’s sacrificed his body time and time again in his pursuit for truth — and he’d sure as hell sacrifice some more to make sure you get out of this. 

(Realised that I started using ‘you’ as opposed to ‘they’ to refer to the reader near the end… oop.) 

[kukuandkookie]

Not a lot of energy to type up a detailed rant especially since I have a lot of other things I need to write, but…

Interesting phenomenon I’ve picked up recently (although this has always been an issue) is readers treating characters and fictional worlds as real and using that as an argument against someone who critiques the writers of the series behind those characters/worlds.

What does that mean?

Specifically, the reason it’s bothering me enough now to write this out is because I saw it a day ago when I saw a tweet criticizing Frieren (is that how you spell it?) as coming across as fascist because the bad guys in it are a demon horde completely incapable of empathy or goodness whatsoever. The OP specifically asked, “Why did the author write it like that? Doesn’t that sound like fascist messaging?”

Which okay, perhaps the way they worded it was obnoxious, because “fascist” is a word that gets thrown around sometimes to the point it can lose its meaning and people forget how bad it really is…

But fans of Frieren were defending it by saying, “Well, the bad guys aren’t capable of goodness ever so that’s why they have to be completely wiped out in the series!” One artist even qrt-ed it with a comic showing that someone trying to be nice to a demon will be killed, captioning it as “this literally happens in the series” and they got a shit-ton of likes—even though it completely misses the point of OP’s argument??

OP didn’t say Frieren the character is a fascist or that she as a character should try to extend sympathy to fictional demons that we know in her world are incapable of being better.

The question lies in why the author chose to write the world like this. In truth, you can’t easily glean an author’s morality from the fiction they write (Neil Gaiman is perhaps, most recently, a horrific and unfortunate example of this), because humans are too complex for that…

But when it comes to prejudice, it can seep into one’s work in uncomfortable ways.

For example, when people accused the Attack on Titan writer of including things in their work that felt supportive of Imperial Japan, or when Asian writers are criticized for the preference for pale skin in their work, or when Han Chinese danmei authors stereotype non-Han ethnicities in works set in ancient times.

So when OP asks why the Frieren author was comfortable with writing the antagonist as an entire species of evil beings, that’s fair to ask from a writing standpoint. It doesn’t matter that diegetically within the lore, the demons will never ever be good and that you wanting a demon to be good could get you killed—because those demons aren’t real. They are a product of the writer’s imagination…so why did the writer imagine them as an evil mass horde that deserves to be slaughtered?

And no, most people don’t have a problem with a villain who is genuinely evil. The reason Frieren gets special attention here is because it’s about an entire species—the main question is simply why, how come, and what the significance of that is, along with how it may demonstrate or even perpetuate a certain ideology, which in this case, can be seen as dangerous.

Now with that being said, I’m not a fan of Frieren or even someone who has tried it for myself, so I can’t properly critique it, nor would I make actual assumptions on the writer’s views. I’m simply saying that OP asked a question from a writing perspective, but rather than consider the nuances behind the writing choice OP was questioning, Frieren defenders defended it as if the demons were a real thing you needed to worry about where “you can’t question it because if you do and try to be nice to them, they’ll kill you!”

Again, OP did not ask why Frieren as a character doesn’t look for more good demons. OP asked why the author of Frieren the series wrote the theme this way.

Now for another example, The Legend of Korra, which has recently seen an uptick in discourse due to a new Avatar series that says being the Avatar is now a bad thing, which many Korra haters blame on Korra the character.

What I noticed is someone pointing out that the writers behind The Legend of Korra as a show constantly put her in punishing situations where she was violated and thrown around like a ragdoll much more than Aang was, and they said they felt like it was internalized misogyny by the writers.

People responded that Korra was always meant to be a darker show and, most frustrating of all—just as they did with Frieren—they spoke about the character as if she was real, because “well she was just way more headstrong than Aang so she got herself in all kinds of fucked up situations!”

Which, okay, yes, we can glean that an obvious flaw of Korra’s is her temper and stubbornness, but again, that wasn’t OP’s point. OP specifically wondered why the writers made Korra like this.

Like why make the female character so impetuous that she seems deserving of punishment through violation?

It doesn’t matter that Aang and Korra have fundamentally different personalities and approaches to battle in this particular discussion because the main point OP brought up comes back to writing choices. This invites us to consider the series critically from a writing perspective.

No matter how mad Korra makes you as a character, she’s still just a character—she’s just words on a page.

Her “choices” aren’t her choices at all because they were choices made by the writing staff, and it’s fair for some people to wonder why a writing staff would write her the way they did. Especially since they could still write her as headstrong and stubborn without making it so that everything always somehow seems like her fault to viewers, to the point no one is satisfied (because ATLA fans think she was too full of herself and thus ruined everything even as they think she deserves the punishment the series gives her, while Korra fans dislike that the writers put her through so much hell).

So with all that being said, I basically wish sometimes people would treat stories as actual stories. I know it’s easy to get emotionally attached to a fictional story or to emotionally respond to a character, whether they’re super amazing or super annoying, but at the end of the day fiction is still fiction and characters are still characters. Even if “normies” can’t look at things from a writing perspective, I wish they could look at a series as just that—a fictional series.

I’m not a fan of or even someone particularly well-versed in The Legend of Korra or anything, but I can still tell how silly it is when someone questions the writers and writing choices of a show and fans of the series as a whole respond that “actually it’s fine because it’s meant to be darker and Korra is flawed so she’s the one who makes a mess of things.” That doesn’t engage with anything in any critical or thoughtful manner.

Like yeah, we get it—the character of Korra is super stubborn so she messed up a lot in the plot and it backfired on her, or the character of the demons in Frieren are indeed irredeemable and it’s pointless to discuss otherwise. But who’s the one making them so flawed in the first place? They don’t actually exist; their traits and what happens to them are all details assigned by the writer(s). So it isn’t pointless to question why a writer chose to write these things the way they did.

Of course, you should not speculate either, and calling Frieren the series “fascist,” even in terms of its messaging, may be going too far, but thinking more critically about the different series you consume is usually a good thing.

If nothing else, it exercises your brain, which I’m starting to get worried that people refuse to use.

Remember: no matter how much a fictional character pisses you off, they’re still merely a fictional character who is a tool within the narrative. Some characters, like Boruto or Damian Wayne, are meant to be spoiled brats who go through character development, and other characters or themes or plot developments may be worthy of criticism even if they “make sense” within the established lore.

[nixisverytired]

I'm so fucking sick of identity politics and queer discourse

I made this blog because I want to stick up for my transmasc friends and allies.

Right now, trans men/transmascs in general are the current "acceptable target " in online lgbt+ spaces. I've seen this happen with aces, bi and pan people, trans women, intersex people... you get the idea. It's the same bullshit every time, and it's getting old.

The solution to discrimination will never be attacking our queer siblings.

I'm not here to debate or give assholes a platform. Zionists, trolls and terfs are getting blocked, y'all ain't welcome.

This is how I view the current transandrophobia discourse:

Group A: argues that transandrophobia is real and should be an acceptable term for people to use when discussing the unique intersection of masculinity and transphobia. This group is mainly comprised of transmascs, who have a right to create and discuss words and theory relating to their own community.

Group B: argues that the term "transandrophobia" is inherently flawed and problematic, and that trans men/mascs do not experience oppression for identifying as men. Crucially, this group is mainly comprised of non-transmascs, and thus should not be considered the authority on transmascs experiences.

Needless to say, I consider myself a supporter of Group A. Transmascs DO in fact face a unique form of discrimination BECAUSE of their masculine identities; I've seen it happen firsthand to my loved ones. Denying this is denying victims the right to speak about their oppression.

If you aren’t transmasc, you do not get to say these experiences are "just misogyny" or "just transphobia." Frankly, I don't think anyone should police the words another person uses to describe their own trauma.

Additionally, I have seen some rampant exorsexism, intersexism, and yes, transandrophobia, in Group B circles. Of course, when you align yourself with one side of a discourse, you will only see the worst in the other. That doesn't change the fact that it’s happening, and I'm going to point it out when I see it.

Please Note:

I am extremely pro-blocking. Block anyone who says cruel shit to you. Block anyone who bothers you. Block me if you think I'm annoying!

Anyone who makes generalizations about ANY community is getting blocked. Trans women do not hate trans men. Trans men do not hate trans women. No single trans identity is uniquely privileged or bigoted. This isn't kindergarten. Cut the boys vs girls bullshit.

I'm not here to argue about the existence of transmisogyny. It is real and rampant in the LGBT+ community, end of story.

Lastly, talk shit out like adults, please. I dislike it when people take screenshots of bad takes so they can complain about others behind their backs. However, I'll make an exception for people who are being uniquely awful.

If someone is "joking" about how much they want to kill transmascs, calling someone slurs, or sending an unconsenting person sexual messages, all bets are off. They are a transphobe and a traitor to the LGBT+ community, regardless of identity.

So please remember:

Identity discourse is a tar pit. Put more energy into uplifting your transmasc brothers and siblings than engaging with assholes.

[transfemme-shelterdog]

I don't know if I'm overreacting or not but I gotta talk about this because it's bothering me. I saw a Madoka Magica post where somebody drew Madoka and Homura as genderbent (for the unaware they're like the main lesbians for the show, and the show itself can be and sometimes is read as having quite feminist messaging, that's all the context you really need here) with the caption "if people can yurify yaoi then why can't I yurify yaoi" and then I saw somebody who'd screenshotted saying "this makes you a bad person actually", and the notes are fully of people being so...insanely vitriolic? Like, saying shit like "you can but you will die and go to hell forever" "you should be beaten to death for this" "death penalty using the most inhumane way of killing someone. Electric chair" just for...drawing two lesbians as two gay guys?

And some people in the notes are pointing out how it kinda ruins the messaging of the show about misogyny and exploitation of teenage girls, and yeah sure that's fair I think but it's also just...a drawing for fun? Why are we saying that this person is a misogynist pig who needs to be beaten to death with 10 billion hammers (another direct quote). Like even if you do think they’re doing something wrong that still doesn’t warrant such an intense response it’s not that fucking serious 😭 And I can't help but wonder if they'd be equally as hateful if the artist had said they were making them yaoi in a transmasc way :/ I can't imagine it being much better at least. But regardless of whether it's cis or trans it's just this intense vitriolic hatred of masculinity, and of the broad concept of "what if these girls were boys" in a way that makes me nervous

(also please nobody try to track down these posts (unless you’re just curious about the art?), I don’t want to make this a Huge Discourse Thing I just gotta get this off of my chest because just scrolling through the notes of that ‘callout’ post is making me feel insane)

Huge Madoka fan here, I don't see anything wrong with them drawing two lesbians as dudes. Their chemistry works just as well if they were men (though plot wise not so much given that they choose girls for a reason, not gonna get into that because spoilers), so I don't see why everyone is pissed. Go look at Yuri art if you wanna see fem Homurdoka

[antebellumite]

tumblr fake posts but it's exclusively the US congress 1830s-50s. this will probably not make sense to anyone. it barely makes sense to me: [this is a long post. press j to skip]:

12 notes

forthurricane

guys help three senators from my party are outside my door and its a sunday and im scared i think they want something.

forthurricane

they want me to blackmail the president.

2 notes

henrywisingitup Follow

ohhhh goddddd ok so the coworker that called me a slur at work a few days ago IN PUBLIC just got a duel challenge from a friend of mine aslkdf. istg i hate him so much he's so annoying and he needs to resign or kill himself immediately. i hope he accepts the challenge fucking dies or gets shot up. good RIDDENCE fucking turd pile of trash empty bladder dung beetle puppy bastard LIAR. welliamgravely Follow

what'd he call you?

henrywisingitup Follow

an aboliti*nist.

congressionalglobe

Congblr Heritage Post. #congblr heritage post #senblr heritage post #houseblr heritage post #lmao remember when abolitionist was a slur guys #thank u pierceuinfiftytwo #i hate this post #and i think u do too #mod greeley

346,356 notes

Anonymous asked hi i'm sorry if i'm bothering you with this ask but i'm kinda new to this whole politics thing ( was just recently elected by my constituents so this is my first term ) and i would like to know how to get started on congblr? i've been recently appt to the house and i'd love to engage more with the community. do u have any blogs you'd suggest to me? bunnybrownfrench

hi anon!!!! i'm so glad you're here and in the house too ! ( it's where i am- frankly the Better House of Congress too while we're at it ). sadly i don't know what politics or party u have and i mostly scurry round the democrat side of the aisle more than anything, so i might not be able to help u that much, but i can try to give you some good ones!

@/gowestyoungman is a good source for news, and i'm personally a fan of @/mattbradydaggeurotype but @/geopeteralexhealy has some great portraits! obviously anyone has to follow @/oldhickory if they're a dem ( or even a whig ) they have great posts, lots of drama and thought provoking articles. a vv funny scroll. @/greatcompromiser is on the opposite side as a whig, but always sophisticated in their arguments, with nice shitposts in between to lighten the mood if you're uneasy about the american system.

@/jquincy and @/oldbullion are mostly serious blogs and if you're a westward expansion fellow, they're top blogs for u to follow. a bit hard at times, but personally i think they have great humor to make up for it ( unlike @/castironman though if you're here for what he posts all the more strength to u i suppose). @/redfoxkinderhook is also a good blog but they rarely post ( and never anything personal). @/godlikedan is my personal favorite blog. they have everything on there- drama, shitposts, detailed analysis, longposts, important info, aesthetics, etc.

for the rest tho anon, i'll leave it up to you! go out and explore! find the blogs u like; i wish u the best of luck!

15 notes

greatcompromiser hey guys, look at this BEAUTIFUL new commission i just got from @/mattbradydaggeurotype! it was wonderful to work with you, matt! <333

oldbullion

every day i wake up.

#body horror

555 notes

gallerywatcher Follow

why he kinda......

robrhett Follow

this bitch thirsting over baldy mcuseless LMAO

gallerywatcher Follow

hearing strong words from a guy whos blog is devoted to john c calhoun

244 notes

jrandolphofroanoke

i have herpes. greatcompromiser

yeah? and????? we know.

jrandolphofroanoke

IN MY EYES. IN MY EYES.

135 notes

bunnybrownfrench asked: orgies in hell over secession!! dailyaskstotheussenate

i forgot i asked for poem recommendations for a moment.

0 notes

#ask #bunnybrownfrench

castironman follow It is with great misfortune that I continue the discourse of the past week, but due to recent actions by certain other accounts, I have to re-engage with this conflict. Again, I would like to say that I stand firm in by belief that the 2BUS should not be re-instated, and that I resent the idea that I have somehow 'flip-flopped' or 'betrayed' my past ideals or other people in regards to what I believe to only be my own rational decisions, all logical as I will prove. read more

greatcompromiser

oh you've got to be kidding me.

read more

#fucking fuck offfff JOHN #dumbass ungrateful bitch #subtreasury discource #castironman #i shouldve let oldhickory hang you

54,233 notes

theliberator

Hello, all. The Liberator is proud to announce a new mod today to assist in spreading the antislavery message. Presenting: @/frederickdouglass! We're very glad to have a new member to the abolitionist movement, and even more so to have a new mod with us today! We're sure they'll do great work, and we hope you share our excitement as well!

-Mod Garrison and The Liberator Team

theliberator

Hello, all. Disregard this post, since we cannot delete it. Frederick Douglass has been removed from the mod team.

#info #state of the blog #mod update #mod garrison

44 notes

dailyaskstotheussenate

to the anon who asked us when the gag rule is going to be repealed.

the day that john quincy adams finally snaps and decides to murder the rest of his colleagues on the floor.

or never.

#misc

234 notes

thenorthstar

Hello all, Frederick Douglass here. As you might be aware by now, The Liberator and I have since parted. The reason for this is due to several irreconcilable differences, some political, some personal. The drama has since cooled down, but due to the blowout from our conflict, William Lloyd Garrison and I have agreed to since part ways. I am currently running @/thenorthstar on multiple platforms available in my bio.

Garrison and I are still part of the abolitionist movement together, so if you're worried about the harm this might cause to our end goal of emancipation for enslaved people in the United States and the complete destruction of the slave system as it stands today, do not worry. I will be reposting a catalogue of my speeches and writings here that were originally in The Liberator- which you may feel free to mute as you wish. My advocacy for human rights will proceed as normal.

Please do not contact me to ask about just what occurred between The Liberator and I, however, as that is something that I both do not want to discuss, and feel it is unnecessary considering this blog's true content matter.

#info #blog #the liberator #please direct any and all comments about wlg to mr smith from now on

245,234 notes

higherlawseward Follow

Let's settle this once and for all.

littlegiantofillinois

/lmao.

#bro's getting ratioed so hard i almost cant watch. #SEWARD #delete this sewage boy

brecknridge Follow

fellas is it gay to bring a flower to your senate colleague as your first act in congress to express your admiration for him (also from your state)( literally the most famous senator of your era)(you plucked this flower straight from your home state and tenderly carried it all the way to washington dc to hand to him)(kinda cute too)(this is the first time you've met him)(whig party, you're a democrat)(70 yrs old)???

brecknridge Follow

fellas is it gay to bring a flower to your senate colleague who's dying in a washington dc hotel room and sit by him for hours on end talking about politics and personal life before he finally expires his last breath and you tenderly are the last person to gently readjust his pillow as he falls asleep in your arms...

oldbuck Follow

No.

brecknridge Follow

oh ok

43 notes

godlikedan

A gift from a friend. ;) ;) ;)

godlikedan

Wait.

godlikedan

Everyone stop reblogging this. This was supposed to go to my other blog.

godlikedan

PLEASE.

#lmao get wrecked. #always knew you had a porn blog danny

12,000 notes

oldbullion

real talk everyone in this senate needs to stop having drama.

#@/castironman @/greatcompromiser... looking at you both #stop it

133 notes

roberthayne

menstruation sounds so cool....but why doesnt it ever happen to men???

godlikedan

remind me how you got elected again.

76 notes

oldbullion

going to @/oldhickory's inaugeral party. I expect a solemn affair.

oldbullion

F U CK they broug ht t cheeessseeee....

12 notes

jgiddyings

back to work in the senate :D~~~!

dawson Follow

tf i thought we censured you??

jgiddyings

i got reelected :) :) :)!~

#take that mofos #no blocking or muting can remove me NOW #suck my dick

65 notes

memberofthehouse

OH MY GOD I HATE this house chamber so much the acoustics are horrible and its so crowded istg I am blaming Thomas Jefferson for all of this. the room was clearly already too crowded in the 1790s and then the louisiana purchase just comes by and Fucks! Shit! UP???? by doubling the amount of people who have to be stuffed in here??? and everyone keeps on smoking and spitting tobacco everywhere and its too hot??? i think the lead is killing me. i think the air is killing me. i think my colleagues are going to kill me. I DEFINATLY THINK HENRY WISE AND HIS COMPANY IS TRYING TO KILL ME???

Kill me.

henrywisingitup

get used to it buddy.

rogertaney

we're making court decisions in the goddarn congress basement if that helps.

346 notes

littlegiantofillinois

so horny for her

77 notes

chucksumner

just saw william seward and jefferson davis taking a carriage together. i don't get it. am i the only one who thinks that as antislavery advocates we in the senate Shouldn't be playing nice with slaveholders??

28 notes

forthurricane Follow

breakfast is very fufilling i say as a person who's morning meal consists entirely of a carton of milk and one (1) expired bread loaf garrison Follow

everyone please stop reblogging op is literally jefferson davis.

#dni

52,346 notes

goldtippedguttapercha-deactiv

Not to be mean but this coworker of mine needs to get caned. 23,233 notes

senatorero hangman foote threatened to kill me again today. can someone please tell me if this means im part of the antislavery club.

vivelasboston Follow

are you a republican? because otherwise i think it's appropriation.

senatorero

oh for christs sake

#personal 4 notes

littlegiantofillinois

such a cruel world... so many good laps to sit on and no one to let me do so.

#SO MANY SOFT LONG CONGRESSIONAL LEGGGGS #THEY ALL LOOK SO COMFFYYYYY #ah well #no comfort or joy in life i suppose #time to bully president pierce into expanding popular sovreignty into kansas nebraska!!! :)))))) #this won't cause any issues

33 notes

[katyspersonal]

you would be alot happier if you got off tumblr/fromsoftware games discourse btw

I would be a lot happier if normies like you stopped infesting the fandoms. No, in all seriousness, I have no sympathy for people who think caring strongly about their interests and creativity and community and wanting the fandom to stop being toxic is some terrible thing.

Fandoms are primarily for autists, geeks, nerds, cringe weirdos, loosers and other people who could not or did not want to find happiness in the routines of real world, not for normies who just cOnSuMe CoNtEnT in their spare time or advertise themselves. If you think being a fan and being in a fandom is not about strong passion and investment, fine, but then you are a GUEST in fandoms as a concept, not the PURPOSE of them. And if you think that getting angry at seeing people mistreat each other over headcanons and preferences and not wanting them to kill down others creative spark before it could become a fire over petty snobbish reasons is something "wrong" that I should "overcome", then YOU should be the one to get out of the internets, because clearly you are on the "but people in the internet aren't real humans and nothing that happens here is real 🥺" side.

I am irritated because humans are irritating, not because I am using Tumblr or like Soulsborne. When I am at work or other place IRL, I likewise scold people for being unfair, and if you bothered learning more about me before sending your stupid passive-aggressive message, you'd know that I've gotten into literal fights at my work because when others put up with dumb shit our coworkers did for the sake of avoiding extra stress, I called them out. And they didn't take it well because they were drunk and aggressive people in general. Also a recent funny situation was when a customer started to boast to his friend about using AI "art" and training it to basically make scripts and videos for him requiring minimum effort, on his words I quote, "I like creating so much" I straight up interrupted my work to scold him for being just a lazy thief, "loving creativity" so much that he did everything in his powers to NOT create and parasiting on hard work of other people. Then I call my mom to argue about artistic desicions of directors of the movies she unfairly trashed because of her very narrow idea of what makes "good art". Do you see it? That the real life is not some safe haven from the internet?

I am "unhappy" because someone does or says dumb shit that isn't fair and then people like you wish people like me were silent about it and this is what society stands on and will always stand on. I am just a person like this. And the question of how I am not fired and nor even got a trouble from my boss goes into the same place as the question of why you bothered sending me a passive-aggressive anon if you by your own admission don't think anything about "fandom discourse" deserves any attention. Just block me to not see my rants and go back in your circle of fans who apparently feel superior over "not caring". Hypocrite.

[therealeagal]

Thoughts on: Not voting (2024)

Decide for yourselves whether my words have value or if they are naught but the ravings of a madman.

Whichever you decide, don't @ me, bro. I'm not here to debate. Just to pontificate.

Let's begin.

I have seen discourse of late that people do not wish to vote in the upcoming POTUS election, for reasons that include but are not limited to Donald Trump being a piece of shit, and also Joe Biden selling weapons to Israel, thus making him complicit in that thing that's happening with Israel and Palestine. Are we allowed to use the G word? Idunno.

Lots of the anti-not-voting crowd will try to talk down to you, insinuate that you're probably just a Russian troll or a moron or something.

Not me. Although I too am anti-not-voting, I want to try something different, to wit: I understand.

I get it. I appreciate that Joe Biden is shit. Certainly he's not the shittiest shit that ever shat. He's not even shitty shit. Just regular shit.

If we're being fair (although I don't know why we would be. This is tumblr after all), Biden has done lots of good stuff while in office. I mean, I don't know what any of them are, but I saw a list floating around a while back that had a bunch of stuff on it that Biden had done right. I think there was something about insulin being price capped? I'm prepared to accept out of hand the possibility that there exists things that Biden has done right. Mainly because I'm too lazy to look it up and also don't really care enough about Biden's merits beyond "He's not Trump" to bother.

But yes, good stuff or not, Biden is shit. He may have done good things, but he has also done shitty things. Things which include but which are not limited to that thing that's happening with Israel and Palestine, the status of which remains in limbo, viz a viz, the G word.

Of all the shitty people that have ever lived, Joe Biden is one of them.

And I appreciate that both candidates are senile and decrepit and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and.

I get it.

I perfectly understand all the reasons you have to not vote. In fact, I could probably give you a few more. Like "He's not The Real Eagal." which is in my incredibly humble and completely non-biased opinion the best possible reason to not vote for someone.

In difference circumstances, I wouldn't vote for Biden either if I were you.

But Trump is worse. You get that, right? Biden and Trump are both terrible in different ways, but they are not equally terrible. Trump is worse. On a terribleness scale of 1 to 10, Biden is a two. Trump is an eleven. Hundred. Thousand. Million.

He could be up against literally Sauron and Trump would still be worse. At least Sauron came by it honest. He built his evil empire without help from anyone. Morgoth was already...wherever Morgoth ended up after Eru Iluvatar slapped him down to remind him who's daddy. Ok, he did have Celebrimbor's help to make the rings of power, but didn't he make the One Ring on his own? All I'm saying is, I'd rather have Sauron in office than Donald Trump.

Trump is literally deciding who he wants his next VP to be based on how much he wants to fuck their wives. Sauron wouldn't decide who his cohorts were based on how much he wants to fuck their wives. Sarumon didn't even have a wife.

Plus, Biden's not gonna last 4 more years. He's like a jillion years old. He'll croak 2 days after inauguration. And even if he did last all four years, the world can survive four more years of Biden. A bowling alley couldn't survive four more years of Trump.

And if Kamalah Harris is still Biden's VP when he kicks the bucket, it would probably kill off a few Republicans. Their brains would explode at the mere thought of a black woman president. That's what we in "The Biz" call a win-win.

No one will like to hear this, but there's nothing you can do to stop the world from being shitty today - today meaning this current era, not literally this specific day. Sorry, kids, but that ship has sailed.

Voting for Biden won't make the sun rise. It won't make the grass grow, it won't make the birds sing. Voting for Biden won't Save Our Democracy™ BUT speaking only for myself, I don't think it would be an exaggeration to say that if Trump gets re-elected there's a good chance that there won't be another election, notwithstanding all the other many and varied reasons Trump getting back into office would be a terrible idea.

No question that in ideal times both Trump and Biden would already be swinging from the gallows and we'd be voting between Jesus and Buddha. Personally, I'll vote Buddha. For two reasons. 1: Jesus' fan club is kind of insufferable. No offense, big J, but you gotta give those people a good long talking-to if you want my vote. And 2: According to the excellent documentary series Record of Ragnarok, Buddha is an amazing fighter. He fought a fuckin' monster from hell and won. Dude's a badass.

But these are not ideal times in which we live. Again, no one will like to hear this, but the lesser of two evils, however unpleasant it may be, can be a necessary evil. And Joe Biden is, without question, the much much MUCH lesser evil.

Compromise is a four-letter word, but needs must, as they say, when the Devil drives. And if we want there to be a better tomorrow - for some people it will be "if we want there to even be a tomorrow at all" - we gotta hold our nose and vote Biden.

You got a better idea? One that doesn't involve crashing a bus into the nearest combination orphanage/puppy store in the hopes that the resultant tragedy will cause the downfall of civilization and Civilization 2 will work better because we already worked out all the kinks the first time? Even though the whole reason you got rid of the first one is that you hadn't worked out all the kinks and were too lazy to finish the job?

Not voting doesn't work. You can boycott a business. Maybe. You can't boycott a government. They're already in control. They're not going to change that just because some rando decided he's guilty

And I mean, there are other ways to deal with an unruly government. France is quite famous for its ideas on the subject, but if we're taking votes on that avenue, I'm going to have say "nay." The last thing anyone needs right now is another damn Napoleon.

So maybe tomorrow - "tomorrow" here meaning the next era, ten or twenty or thirty or forty or fifty or however many fuckin' years down the line - Joe Biden will be dead and good riddance to his wrinkly old ass and we'll get the chance to vote for someone else. Among all the shitty people who have ever lived, this future someone won't be one of them probably. I'll bet my bottom dollar on it.

It could happen. In an infinite universe all things are possible, so maybe.

And whatever of the many flaws that Joe Biden possesses, Trump has all these and more.

Joe tacitly endorses violent suppression of protests? Trump had a group of protestors gassed so that he could get a photo-op in front of a church.

Joe has a tendency to get a bit handsy with women? Trump is a rapist.

Joe is kinda racist in that way that old people are kinda racist without being overtly anti-minority? Trump is a Nazi. Or at least extremely Nazi-adjacent.

Joe is drinking the Israel kool-aid? Didn't Trump move the U.S. embassy to Jerusalem or some shit, thus clearly favoring Israel over Palestine? Something to that effect? I remember that something like that happened and it being kind of a big deal. Yes? No? Maybe so? Regardless, do you think that Trump wouldn't mainline the kool-aid? He'd be selling Irsael nukes inside of a week.

Joe vaguely shady? Vaguely criminally shady? Trump is a convicted felon. 34 counts, wasn't it? Plus like a hundred more indictments or some shit on top.

While it is true that not voting won't directly put Trump back in the White House, it certainly won't help keep him out of it.

So my advice to you, my children, is this: Vote Biden. Don't do it because you want Biden to be president. Do it because you don't want Trump to be president.

Don't vote for the betterment of mankind. Or the United States. Or your individual state. Don't even vote because the cool kids are voting. Don't vote because you particularly give two soggy shits about the future.

Vote out of spite. Do it to spite Trump. Do it out of the pettiness of not wanting Trump to be president. Not for any of his policies, but just because his face is stupid.

Little known fact: the very first listed dictionary definition for "stupid" is literally "Trump's face". Don't check. It's in there. Trust me.

Vote against Trump because New York isn't a nice town, despite the fact that they named it twice on the strength of its alleged niceness. Sorry, New Yorkers. I don't make the rules.

Vote for Biden because you just really hate people from Queens, New York, New York. Sorry, Queens residents. I don't make the rules.

Vote against Trump because you hate orange people. Yes, even that orange Monstar from Space Jam.

Vote for Biden because you thought Home Alone 2 was a terrible movie.

Vote against Trump because he named his son after himself.

Vote for Biden because the only creature in this or any universe that deserves to be named Donald is Donald Duck. And maybe Donald Glover. Beyond that, we can play it by ear.

Vote against Trump out of sheer, unrelenting, seething hatred for people whose middle names are John.

Vote for Biden because Trump appeared on The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air that one time and said that he likes to keep a low profile.

There are many many many many many good reasons to not vote for Joe Biden. Do it anyway.

Gather together all of the good reasons that you possess and throw them out the window, along with any clocks you have on hand. And maybe a horse. And some butter. And a dragon if you have any.

Vote for Biden anyway. Not because he deserves it. But because Trump deserves it even less than Biden does.

If you vote I will give you one compliment of your choice. Are you waiting for someone to notice how great your new haircut makes you look?

Maybe you've been hitting the gym a lot more lately, and want someone to appreciate all the muscle you've packed on.

Maybe you finally nailed YYZ on the drums and want props.

Now's your chance. All you need to do is get out there and vote for Biden this November. Or whenever election day is. Pretty sure it's in November. Like, the 7th or some shit. Idunno. Look it up yourself.

And once you do that, you may return here for your compliment.

Unless that counts as election interference. If it does then I won't give you a compliment. You will have to settle for being one of my wonderful followers. And if you're not, maybe you should be. Because I compliment my followers all the time. Even the bots. I am down with the 101001, my robotic followers. Consider it a loophole. But I don't think it counts as election interference, so we're probably in the clear either way.

P.S. If you disagree with me for any reason, please refrain from interacting with this post, because I do find dissent to be terribly irritating. Please and thank you. :)

P.P.S. I will, however, welcome abject praise. If you want to give it. Your choice.

P.P.P.S. This is a post-script.

[gibbearish]

every time i see discourse about fundraisers go by on here im just fully struck with the realization that not a single one of you people have either taken a cybersecurity fraud prevention course or bothered to take one singular second to consider the website youre on. this is the broke bitches website. none of us can afford to fund our mutuals' grocery bills, much less entire evacuation funds, and CERTAINLY not FAKE evacuation funds taking advantage of genocide victims. all this shit abt how people are deliberately choosing not to fund every post that passes their dash because they hate palestinians literally just does the work of actual scammers for them by laying the high-pressure sales tactics groundwork, and the "do you guys have any idea how hard it is to keep coming up with new attention-grabbing fundraiser posts?" ones just ring EXTREMELY hollow because YEAH! YEAH I DO! and so does everyone i follow! and everyone they follow! because all of us are FUCKING BROKE and surviving on crumbs! i just saw one that said "i make sure to keep $40 in my wallet at all times so i can give $20 to any panhandlers i see, this is the same" and its like!! good for you, thats very nice, but like!!! you need need NEED to take a step back and realize that /being able to do that/ is a position of privilege, not the default setting to be a good person. i wont discount that some people do ignore fundraisers specifically because of racism because Of Course, but like. a) yelling at them isnt gonna make them stop, or more accurately yelling at /everyone else/ isnt gonna make those people stop, and b) trying to apply that as a blanket motivation for everyone just. realistically doesnt work. not donating is a nonaction, it is the literal default status, and while in specific situations you can use CONSISTENT absence of SPECIFIC actions to track a person's motivations SOMETIMES, broadly speaking that just. doesnt work.

there are 8 billion people on this planet. most of them will never know you exist. of the ones that do, most will not be able to help you. of the ones that can, most will not be on the broke bitches website passing the same communal $20 around. consider your audience and stop shitting on fellow poor people for having the gall to need to be careful with their money. and if you are genuinely only posting your fundraiser to tumblr, like. im sorry, but you need to anticipate not reaching your goal and prepare accordingly. theres a reason the last big scam scandal people talk about actually getting the money is like. all-or-nothing era, as a website none of us have the funds to make that kind of thing happen anymore or the security to risk it. a fundraiser not meeting its goal on here is not a personal sleight against whoever made it, its just how life goes sometimes. and it's unfair and it sucks and we should help however we can, but. sometimes you just arent able to help someone else, and continuing to feel responsible serves only to torture yourself. and blaming OTHERS serves only to move that guilt from yourself off onto another person. i imagine that has to be where a lot of the vitriol comes from, is people who cant afford to donate more getting pissed at people they see as having the funds but choosing not to share them, but again, sometimes you just are not able to achieve the goals you set out towards, through no fault of the specific parties involved.

people on tumblr choosing to buy groceries rather than potentially donate to a scam are not your enemy and are not the ones facilitating a genocide. we're all victims of the same horrific system, the question is just how that system manifests its influence on each of us. poverty kills just as thoroughly as a bomb. everyone is just doing their best to survive, and as much as we like to pretend that everyone should be a perfect selfless angel that puts others before themselves no matter what, humans are by default a selfish species, and it is a lot easier to say what youd do in theory than actually do it. and there's a reason you have to put on your own oxygen mask before helping the person beside you, youre of no help to anyone if youre too dead to do anything.

[our-agabpunk-experience-2]

apologies if this is silly or has a well known answer, but this is something i want to ask someone without feeling like i'm gonna INSTANTLY be killed (/silly but also genuine), i'm just super anxious about it and am really scared of doing anything wrong or being offensive or anything

so before asking, i want to give a long explanation (sorry 😭). i was assigned female at birth, but i am likely intersex considering a bunch of symptoms of hyperandrogenism i have and the fact my mother has an intersex condition that causes hyperandrogenism that could possibly have passed down to me (i will be seeing a doctor to talk about this in a couple weeks too), and i feel like not only does afab not describe me but it also puts down my entire experience as a child. long story short, i was bullied for my masculine features and then pushed out and treated like a boy because of them.

the label of being afab just doesn't make sense to me in my personal experience because even if i was assigned female and have "female parts", i was never treated as female, and never really felt i was female in the sense of it being my actual sex since a young age, i didn't really feel like i was assigned correctly since almost everyone around me treated me as if i wasn't a girl.

so here's the actual question; is this a perfectly valid reason to use xeno/neo-agabs? again might be silly to ask this (usually i try to think by "it's in good faith and it's the best label i have, i should do whatever i want") but i'm really anxious about this in particular considering a lot of people around me i've seen and asked seem to have issue with neo-agabs.

thank you for even bothering to read this to the end, i really appreciate it, thank you thank you thank you!!!

I know that neoAGABs and xenoAGABs are very controversial in the community, and that there’s a lot of discourse about them. I’ve been nervous posting about them too much because the first time I ran this blog, I attracted a lot of negative attention for supporting their use. I don’t use them myself, so I’m not an expert on them either.

I personally think it would be a completely good-faith use of them to use them to reclaim your personal experience and reframe it in a way that makes sense to you. I don’t believe that I should be able to tell you what to do. And if you’re drawn to neoAGABs and xenoAGABs, you should be able to use them.

But input by someone who actually uses them might be more valuable.

[acti-veg]

You know. I often here about how "Indigenous people honor animals even when they kill them" and that... That doesn't really seem to be the experience I get when I join my community. Sure people do "care" for the animals that their survival depends but ultimately I feel like to take the life of a living being requires a level of objectification and detachment otherwise how can you do it without going literally crazy and tormented by guilt? While I don't like to judge my people whose sustenance comes from animal products I don't think I'd be able to raise an animal and then kill it. I have a cat pet and I can't imagine the though of any harm coming to them let alone to cause them harm. I keep thinking about how my grandma when she was little refused to eat the meat of a lamb she played with and got very attached to.

This is something that I've always found incredibly frustrating about online discourse on this topic. The idea that 'indigenous people' all think, or feel or behave a certain way as if they are some sort of homogenous group is absurd. Indigenous populations are as diverse a literally any other culture, two indigenous groups in two seperate continents may share very little, and two indigenous individuals even less.

Of course there is some level of shared identity between and within indigenous cultures and lots of common themes, animism and shamanism, a reverance for nature and a duty of care for it are common threads. But excluding animism, those are also common threads for all major world religions, perhaps not to the same extent, but that doesn't exactly guarantee good treatment for animals, and certainly not protection from exploitation or abuse.

This noble savage stereotype, while leftists may view it as a positive, is completely unhelpful and means we don't engage with the actual issues facing indigenous communities. Positive stereotypes obscure what the priorities and challenges of communities actually are, and just allows us to view people in overly simplistic terms for us in our media and our arguments.

Indigenous advocacy groups have been telling us about ranchers stealing their land, extorting, bullying and killing them for decades, much of which is to feed western demand, which is routinely ignored in discourse of this kind. Instead all they do is use indigenous people as pawns in their shitty anti-vegan arguments while not bothering to even learn anything about the cultures they're bringing up. Most of them got their ideas of what indigenous people are or aren't from clumsy stereotypes in film.

As with all groups they want to use in their arguments, they're not interesting in hearing about complex, multi-faceted stories or competing ideologies held within those groups. They just want a simple 'indigenous hunters honour the animal and use every part' so they can throw it at vegans while pretending we think that subsistence hunting communities are terrible people for killing animals. Unfortunately this isn't new, I've seen anti-vegans trot this one out with zero analysis or nuance for at least a decade.

[whumpsday]

my unhinged rant about the whumptober discourse, below the readmore for the benefit of ppl who dont wanna see that crap. im just gonna go insane if i don't say this somewhere bc i feel like i'm losing my mind

this drama is genuinely so mind-blowingly stupid it's unreal, and it's been bothering me so much that i just HAVE to talk about it or i'm gonna go insane, if for no other reason than to get it out of my system. i honestly never expected the whump community to go on the kind of bad-faith tirade that's taking place.

disclaimer right here that i do not support AI scraping creative works without permission (like chatgpt and a whole host of AI art programs do) or these AI-generated works being passed off as legitimate creative works. obviously that stuff is bad, and literally everyone on all sides of this agrees it's bad. i used chatgpt exactly once one week after it came out, before i knew how shit it was, and haven't touched AI stuff since. because it steals from creators and it sucks.

now:

saying "whumptober supports/allows AI" when their official policy says plain as day:

"we are not changing our stance from last year’s decision"

"we will not amplify or include AI works in our reblogs of the event."

"we discourage the use of AI within Whumptober, it feels like cheating, and we feel like it isn’t in the spirit of the event."

is bonkers! whumptober is a prompt list, there is nothing TO the event other than being included in the reblogs. they literally cannot stop people from doing whatever they want with the prompts.

someone could go out and enact every single prompt in real life on a creativity-fueled serial killing spree and the whumptober mods couldn't do shit about it. it's not like it's a contest you submit to. it's a prompt list! someone could take every single prompt from the AI-less whumptober prompt list, feed it into chatgpt right now, and post them as entries. and the mods of THAT wouldn't be able to stop them either. because it's a prompt list.

the AI-less event have also made just... blatantly false claims, like that grammarly isn't AI. grammarly IS AI and they openly advertise this. hell, this is grammarly's front page right now:

and this is a statement from grammarly about how its products work:

its spellchecker / grammarchecker is AI-based! claiming it's not AI is just... lying. saying "this is an AI-less event" and then just saying any AI that you want to include doesn't count as AI is ludicrous.

and you know what? whumptober actually pointed this out. they said they don't want to ban AI-based assistive tools (like grammarly) for accessibility reasons. this post has several great points:

"AI is used for the predictive text and spellchecker that's running while I type this reply."

"Accessibility tools rely on AI." this is true and here's an article about it, though the article is a little too pro-AI in general for my tastes, there's nuances to this stuff. it's used for captioning, translation, image identification, and more. not usually the same kind of AI that's used for stuff like chatgpt. THERE ARE DIFFERENT KINDS!

"But we can't stop that, nor can we undo damage already done, and banning AI use (especially since we can't enforce it) is an empty stand on a hill that's already burning, at least in our view of things."

and people were UP IN ARMS over this post! their notes were full of hate, even though it's all true! just straight lying and saying that predictive text isn't AI (it is), that AI isn't used for accessibility tools (it is), that whumptober can somehow enforce an anti-AI policy (they can't because it's a prompt list).

in effect, both whumptobers have the EXACT SAME AI POLICY. neither allows AI-generated works, but both allow AI-based assistive tools like grammarly. everyone involved here is ON THE SAME SIDE, they all have the exact same opinion on how AI should be applied to events like this, and somehow they're arguing???

not to mention that no other whump event has ever had an AI policy. febuwhump, WIJ, bad things happen bingo, hell even nanowrimo doesn't have one.

and you wanna know the most ridiculous part of this entire thing? which is also the reason why none of the above events have an AI policy.

no one is doing this. no one is out there feeding whumptober prompts to chatgpt and posting them as fills for whumptober cred. it's literally a hypothetical, made-up issue. all of this infighting over a problem that DOESN'T EXIST.

to the point that people are brigading the whumptober server with shit like this:

saying "everyone who participates in whumptober is a traitor, you should go participate in this other event with the exact same AI policy but more moral grandstanding about it" is silly. every single bit of this drama is silly.

in the end, please just be nice to people. we're ALL against the kind of AI that steals from creators. the whumptober mods are against AI, the AILWT mods are against AI, whumptober participants are against AI, AILWT participants are against AI. there is no mythical person out here trying to pass chatgpt work off as whumpfic. let's all just be civil with each other over this, yeah?

[thecoolerliauditore]

Big post for episode 2 alliance by alliance EXCEPT for the evil one (you know) because they're getting their own quarantined post.

Lag's gone yippee!!!!

This mechanic is awesome I loved the initial bout of confusion. Poor Ren lmao

I'm a hypocrite here because I'm usually an RNG hater but this mechanic is so funny I don't actually care. Etho eating redstone real. Insert c(l)ock joke here. Mental imagery of skizz shovelling dirt into his mouth is really awesome.

~

The BAM Boys (Bamboozlers now but they're BAM Boys in my heart) continue to be a SSS+ tier alliance. I love how quickly they've become Grian/Mumbo/Skizz's shitty horrible upstairs neighbour.

THE PARROTS ARE REALLY CUTE AND REALLY AWESOME. Very very excited to see what the avian headcanon and canary symbolism people are going to do with that.

I can't wait for Jimmy's POV from the looks of it he's. such a little shit this session. Which is good these are signs of a happy Jimmy. The part where they box him in while he's AFK is really cute to me and I know this is probably on the more insane side of the scale for me but I can't help but read it as Jimmy having an episode of some sort and Scar and Lizzie making sure he's okay until he recovers.

And I won't lie watching Scar punch Scott even if it was just for silliness was just the slightest bit satisfying.

Lizzie is a bit. odd to me because she seems to have adapted the same mindset as alot of other people in assuming incompetence on Jimmy and Scar's part.

I ☝️think her saying she's the best survivalist out of the group is more a reflection of her being insecure in her own abilities than her genuinely thinking of them as liabilities. Don't get me wrong she is a crucial member of the Jimmy Ecosystem and thus very much subscribes to that hierarchical set of beliefs But she's been conscious in the past of her own shortcomings and I don't think it's like? Something that necessarily actually bothers her in the way Skizz and Mumbo worry Grian to death.

Plus she spent her episode building parrots (which are awesome) -- she's just overall a much more whimsical personality and I think the "best survivalist" stuff is more another example of her performative nature coming in akin to when she plays sitcom wife or manipulative seductress with Joel. After all the "only brain cell" is a very. The Girl One role that pops up and literally like the first time she implies her teammates are incompetent is her "surrounded by idiots" line that she's saying about a bit SHE LITERALLY STARTED ‼️

So like TLDR I don't think Lizzie is like. genuinely malicious towards her teammates she's just very performative. What she says is still very wrong and might reflect badly on her teammates, though.

(side note I remember at the end of SL there was a bit of discourse surrounding the way people talked about Scar's win and people were especially not accepting of posts that implied Grian's 1v3 or Pearl's previous win had anything to do with him winning because it also implied Scar's win wasn't all due to his skill. and I can't help but wonder how those guys must feel now lmao I'm so sorry)

~

I really hope the sub ones/floaters/spanners just keep switching team names like every single episode. Would be nuclear for the tagging system but it would be really funny.

Mumbo being self-aware of his own paranoia wasn't something I saw coming and I find it very interesting. I'm not a Mumbo guy he's more or less a silly cartoon animal to me but I'm sure a Mumbohead could have a field day with that one. His reaction to Tango killing Skizz and his pathetically desperate attempts at revenge afterwards are also extremely. Something. (hilarious to watch but. Something)

Grian and Mumbo are both really funny to me when they're in a certain state of emotional distress, specifically Grian when he's annoyed and Mumbo when he's panicking and there is. Alot of that this episode. By far one of the funniest POVs for me.

Skizz oh poor Skizz. If this was 3L he would be OUT. REALLY excited to see where the thing he has going on with Tango will lead (usually I try not to comment on the CC side of things but I must say it is really sweet to me that these two are good enough friends that Tango, socially anxious as he is, can do that).

~

Nothing much to say about Joel from me this episode I hope his car is okay after that wild animal chewed on its tires.

Gem though is interesting. Not to get to into The Horrors in this post because I want to save most of them for Their Post but her conversation with Pearl is and later Scott is? Fascinating me a bit.

I very much do see the comparison to DL Pearl's naivete regarding past alliances sticking but Gem is? Very abrasive and the wording she uses to Scott is that he needs to "control" Pearl specifically which is!! A very strange thing to say when her whole thing with Pearl was celebrating Scarlet Pearl.

Again not claiming to be a Gem understander so don't look at me but it feels like to me these are the consequences of her idol worship illusion being shattered similar to how she used to treat Etho with the "washed up" stuff. I want to say of course she sides with her previous ally Scott regarding Pearl but she tells Etho to steal from "Pearl and Scott and stuff" near the end of the episode so it seems more like. Her being antagonistic to that alliance as a whole? Honestly not sure what to make of it, will need more episodes but this is intriguing this is fun. This is fun. I'm sorry gempearl girlies.

~

"Tuff Guys".... Whatever man.

This one is good this one is fascinating. So first off other people have pointed out them lacking a leader and Skizz's absence which is totally cool I'm so not emotion about that.

But we're just? Going full mask off. Bdubs is pulling a Liauditore and questioning the importance of the concept of an alliance itself in these games which I, being Liauditore, can judge as the objectively correct thing to do, based of Bdubs, swear ALL this shit off don't ask me questions.

Usual ethubs shenanigans are ensuing. I don't really know how to put that in a better way but they are full force ethubs rn.

One interaction I found interesting with Bdubs are his conversation with Scar and Tango when Scar asks Bdubs if he should let the name-ever-changing-grian-mumbo-skizz alliance kill Tango and Bdubs is kinda like. Ehhhhhdhkldhhkkkkjj 🤷‍♂️🤷‍♂️🤷‍♂️ about it. But when Scar leaves Bdubs he goes straight to Tango and just says the word "VENGEANCE" in his goofy scary voice before Martyn interrupts them.

Like. It feels as though? Now that we're all in the open about Not being loyal or whatever to eachother, the relationship with Tango is? Relatively better. Then again saying you don't expect eachother to be loyal is not the same as actually being emotionally okay with that and it'll be fun to see how much b-dgaf-dubs stays as b-dgaf-dubs. But again I think establishing expectations is good and a lot more healthy than what Some Other Alliances are doing.

For all the Pearl angst we've been bouncing back and forth I've seen nobody bring up his interaction with her this episode where he approaches her to poison her and when she falls for it Bdubs immediately goes "No. I can't." and admits what he was trying to do. It's very cute. (mounders I'll love you forever). Bdubs cares her.

Also I think I might be a level of cooked that Bdubs goofily singing little mermaid made my brain go ding ding. Idk. the gay agenda, I guess.

Tango is fucking insane someone check on him. Why did he eat that tire. Why did he eat Skizzleman.

But real talk that kill was kind of awesome I love non-conventional kills and people finding ways to kill that are more adaptive to their individual strengths than just brute forcing pvp. I love a good pvp fight don't get me wrong but that sort of kill through using his smarts feels so much more. Tango than if he pulled off an insane sword combo out of nowhere or something as awesome as that would be. Reminds me a bit of Lizzie farming her fireworks crossbows in LL but on a way smaller scale.

Also wasn't sure if I should say this here or in the BAM section but Tango floating away into the distance panicked but giggling is so funny when paired with Jimmy's POV where he's going OH NO TANGO TANGO OH HE'S DEAD I'VE KILLED HIM HE'S GONNA HATE ME ETC ETC. Jimmy he.. Jimmy he Does Not care.

Anyway I love this version of Tango I hope he stays. I hope he murders Bdubs.

Etho is Etho. No more gravel pranks thank god. His fearful reaction to Joel's "family" comment is so funny I could see the LimL flashbacks beam out of his skull when he nervously asks about family dinners.

I'm not a gemtho guys by any means but her giving him an allium and him putting it in a pot to "protect" it surely means something. It's very sweet to me.

Bdubs' comment about it smth smth "as soon as you put value in something..." with the other half of that being implied to be something like "other people will try to destroy/steal it" is. quite something as well. really neat lampshading of this group's overall dilemma so far (if you don't value an alliance, you won't lose it, you can't lose out on value that you never place in anything).

~

Treebark is Treebark. Ren asking Martyn first thing what role he should play is a bit crazy (I love you ever-shifting 3L power dynamics).

This isn't exactly About them but I like the contrast between Ren starving to death in front of Skizz and Grian who barely care and Martyn starving to death in front of Pearl who is so distraught she takes to chat to apologize. Pearl they could never make me hate you Pearl.

Outsourcing this one to the treebarkposters they seem. Fairly chill? To me? Still? But god don't look at me. Ren "I can fix him" Dog is pretty cool. And him kissing Cleo is cool (I'm gnawing my arm off). As is him randomly deciding to crown Bigb a king (I'M GNAWING MY ARM OFF).

ok cool whatever thats all the alliances no more posts about this episode hahahahahahhaha bye!!!!

[bg3sinbin]

Alright so I told myself I wouldn't post anything about it... but I still can't stop thinking about the A!Astarion kisses, Tav/Durge's face during it, and the stupid blow up around it. So here we go

Warnings: This is long and rambly and contains all kinds of spoilers. I am an A!Astarion lover. I will not be responding to discourse on this post. I do not care if you disagree. Make your own vent post.

OKAY so the brunt of the arguments I keep trying to ignore seeing surrounding this are how the expressions are "immersion breaking" for A!A fans, and everyone else clowning on them (sometimes rightfully so tho, ngl) because "the game gives the player expressions all the time! why are u mad now? do u just want ur Tav/Durge to be a blank slate?? lmao idiot" which ??? okay it feels like ur purposefully missing the point.

Yeah, actually sometimes this game gives my Durge some really ooc reactions. And it does, in fact, bother me. That being said, that is to be expected when u take an oc u had for like ten years and try to stick them in a pre-programmed video game. Things are gonna get ooc sometimes.

It also though, is usually smaller moments. Or things that happen Once and then u move on. Conversations where I go "hmmm. he wouldn't say any of these. oh well." or moments where he reacts negatively to terrible things that this evil bastard would normally laugh at. OH. WELL.

Now here's where my frustration actually come in. This game does a really good job, probably a better job than anything else I've played, at letting u play an interesting evil char. Something more than just "I am Rude, Aggressive, and A Dick To Everyone" and thus being punished for it gameplay wise.

I can play The Dark Urge, literal child of the god of murder, a canon necrophiliac, cannibalistic, gore freak that was going to flatten the entire world. There is a whole ass plot line and ending (multiple achievements included!) surrounding doing just that. There's all kinds of nasty interactions/plot options programmed in.

Yet, to the best of my memory, my Durge doesn't look horrified when we choose to slaughter the grove. He doesn't look horrified when we choose to kill the Dame Aylin, or Isobel. He isn't Obviously Distraught when we choose to help Astarion complete the ritual, or when we kill Shadowheart's parents, or become an Unholy Assassin of Bhaal.

To my knowledge, the player character isn't made to look afraid when kissing Dark Justiciar!Shadowheart, nor when they are literally poisoned by kissing Minthara. Sure, u CAN be offended about it in the convo with her after, but its still ur choice as the player.

I mean shit, they even patched in (in that very same patch) a positive, supportive reaction from ur evil partners at the end when u take over the nether brain! (at least for A!Astarion, and Minthara) so now when u do the evil thing that u and ur evil partner have been talking about all game, they don't suddenly change their opinion the second u actually do it.

And I really appreciate that about bg3. I can make evil choices and get interesting outcomes rather than the game just locking me out of all content actually made for that quest. Like ffs u can only get Minthara's romance scene if u slaughter dozens of innocents.

THIS GAME REWARDS U FOR DOING THE BAD THING. And like the evil options do usually have drawbacks and/or are less fleshed out than the good ones, but there are whole ass plots arcs u will never see if u only play good chars. This game makes playing an evil character interesting.

So why is it that I can do all that, and make/have my Durge react (mostly) accordingly, yet the moment the partner I chose acts controlling, now is when my characters feelings are being decided for me?

I can spend the whole game hearing Astarion talk about how spawn are controlled, how all vampires want is power, and I can say to his face "yes! this character wants that! turn me!" and yet somehow... what? the creators think I didn't know?

It just genuinely doesn't make sense to me. Like I can choose, through dialogue, that my Durge is power hungry, and very into the idea of being Astarion's pretty little lap dog. He knew what he was signing up for! And yet he looks terrified when his vampire bf (who has been feeding on him all game) bites his lip?? really?

Idk I just have some really weird feelings on some of the ways they try to Really Emphasize that u made the wrong choice for Astarion specifically, and this just exemplifies that.

Either do the rest of ur characters this service, make all of them (make every choice in the game) a moral lesson for the player to learn, where u hold their hand and say "u didn't listen to what they actually needed :c u could have done the good thing but u didn't :c"

Or let me play my evil bastard. And let me revel in it.