JJK BOYS' BEING SCARED TO CONFESS !
an. thank u for 100 + followers!! <3 holy fuck inumaki’s was hard to write bc of the letter LOL also heres to hopin my tags actu work for this post
ft. gojo, inumaki x gn!reader
wc. 1.2k
genre. fluff, angst if u squint in gojo's
► MASTERLIST ► TAGLIST ►
GOJO SATORU ►
— OK so usually i wouldn't imagine him as being scared to confess
— but,
— if he really likes you, i think his hidden insecurities will start comin out
— yes, gojo is the strongest sorcerer
— but even the strongest sorcerer can't save everyone
— he knows you'll be targeted if you're openly with him
— so gojo represses his feelings as best as he can
— which for some reason involves him -
— flirting with you one day
— and then completely ignoring your existence the next
— eventually you just get tired of it
"satoru!" you yell, surprising yourself from the sheer volume of your voice. it's clear he knew you were coming, but you still see the way his shoulders tense when you call his name. gojo at least has the decency to stop, and you're unsure if it's because he doesn't want to risk making you angrier, or if this is one of the days' he'll actually talk to you. you huff in anger before gripping his wrist to spin him around, and you can tell he's avoiding your eyes despite the black blindfold around his eyes.
"well?" you ask, tone cold and straightforward. gojo decides to take a glance at you, and sees you standing there with crossed arms, looking at him like a disappointed parent. "are you going to stop giving me the cold shoulder and tell me what's going on? i'm not in the mood to play some childish game, gojo." the use of his family name coming from you makes his heart ache, and he panics at the thought of you being genuinely angry and upset at him rather than mildly annoyed.
"i'm not playing some game," he says, and you feel yourself straighten up at the seriousness in his voice. your eyebrows furrow together in concern as you try to think of your last few interactions with gojo. he hadn't been acting this way with anyone else but you (you know because you'd asked nanami, and nanami knew all), and if this wasn't some game he was playing, had you done something to make him upset? the thought makes you feel guilty, remembering how you'd scolded him like a child just moments earlier. was it the joke about his forehead? surely he'd know you hadn't meant it, no matter how true it was-
"i love you-"
"your forehead isn't that small-"
...what?
you blinked at him once, then twice, then thrice, and then a fourth just to make sure you really weren't dreaming right now. your best friend of years, with his cocky attitude, cute dumb jokes and flirty remarks that made your face heat and heart race was in love with you? gojo lifted his blindfold suddenly, cocking an eyebrow up at you.
"hey! what about my forehead?-"
"i like you, too." you breathed out, voice shaky with either excitement or nervousness, you couldn't choose. gojo stared at you with those ocean coloured eyes of his, and then broke out into a grin.
"hmm?" you braced yourself, already knowing gojo's incessable adorable teasing was coming, "i don't exactly think i said like, did i?"
INUMAKI TOGE ►
— i def see inumaki being more scared to confess
— 1. because he can't think of a proper way to tell you his feelings
— a text just doesn't feel personal enough or embed his true feelings
— which leaves inumaki in a dilemma
— obviously, panda is quick to catch onto inumaki's feelings
— when he learns about inumaki's dilemma, he just bursts out laughing
— panda offers him the very simple solution - write a damn letter
— inumaki was so caught up in his feelings he literally just did not Think of it.
— spends hours writing the letter and tearing up it several times while also rehearsing how and where he would give it to you
— until the moment actually came, and all inumaki could do was shove the letter into your hands, yell tuna mayo, and run away.
— … yeah
your early sunday mornings had started consisting of heading down to the field every tokyo jujutsu school student used as early as your first week as a first-year, causing you to quickly develop a routine - get changed into your gym clothes, head down to the field earlier on to relax before maki kicked your ass, and then rush back to the dorms for a shower. except this time, you were pleasantly surprised to see that halfway through your routine, you were met with the familiar cute face of a fellow student, cursed speech user inumaki toge.
"inumaki?" you say, giving him a smile before slowing down your own steps to allow him time to catch up, watching as he sped to you. "you're up early for once," you teased, knowing how grumpy he can get without his allocated sleeping time. once inumaki catches up to you, you continue walking on, fully expecting inumaki to just continue alongside you. only for him to catch you off guard completely, gently spinning you around to face him once more.
seeing inumaki up close, you quickly take notice of the flush of red on his cheeks, popping out from under his collar, along with the sudden dark eye circles. inumaki's breathing is muffled, but loud enough for you to hear he's panting, the rapid rising and falling of his chest confirming it. you furrow your eyebrows in concern, also noting the way inumaki had practically sprinted to you moments before for no reason, along with the absence of his usual cheery - "kelp!"- greeting.
"inumaki?" you say once more, your tone both obviously worried and confused, "are you feeling okay?-" you have to practically plant your feet into the ground to stop from stumbling back when inumaki shoves something into your hand suddenly, only realising its a slip of paper when you feel it crinkle in your palm after an experimental squeeze. you look back at inumaki for even just a hint of an explanation, and instead all you get is -
"tuna mayo!" he yells, and then takes off running. you're left in a daze as you watch inumaki's figure become more and more distant, and only when you can no longer see him do you remember the paper currently crinkled up in your hands. the first thing you notice are the little onigiris drawn on the top of the paper, an inumaki staple as you'd like to call it. this time, the onigiris have blush streaks on their 'cheeks' as they hold hands, a single heart bouncing off their heads.
to you,
toge here! obviously i know it's not february anymore, as you (probably? lolol dumbas) know, but panda i'm tired of letting my chances slip past me.
there are so many things i want to say to you every day, but now that i'm here i don't even know where to start, so i'm just going to say it properly. i like you like a shitton. i wish i could say this to you properly, if i had the confidence if i could, i would scream my love for you to the world. i may not be your first date, kiss or love, but i want to be your last, just as i hope you'll be mine.
there are thousands of other things i want to say to you, but i'll save it until i get your reply. please don't feel pressured to accept me, no matter what, you'll always have a special place in my heart, my first love.
from hopefully yours,
toge inumaki. 🍙
ill give u a kiss goodnight if u reblog <3
© 2021 sinrinyoku — please do not repost, translate, modify or plagiarize my work! i will beat the shit out of u (maybe)
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Hey, hope youre doing good. What do you think of the idea that Gojou’s personality is a facade? that he is a very lonely person and hides his feelings to not be seen as weak by his enemies. And the idea idk if are connected that he is so childish because he couldnt be a child when was young, so that is why he care so much about student enjoying their youth. Thank you for sharing your thoughts, your metas are always really clever and on point! 💟
Hello ♥ and thank you! ♥
I have come across a few of those posts but right now I don't have any saved to refer to, nor do I fully remember their arguments.
So, I will refer to the idea of “facade” and “childish personality” in general terms.
I disagree with the idea of putting what we show to the world and how we feel inside like an antinomy. I also believe it is wrong to think that showing your “true self” is possible. For many reasons: what is true self? Does anyone have a definite idea of what they are? What do we do in front of others, how can’t be us?. Our social existence is always performative: we learn how to act, what we think and say. We play a role of what we think we are, of what we think we should do in different circumstances. Someone reading this may be thinking they “don’t act like themselves in front of others or in certain circumstances”. That is because we are always in tension between our desires and our ideas, sometimes we “don’t act like ourselves” because we have a different idea of how we should act from what we wish. Nevertheless, how we act is the result of our ideas, representation and subjectivity. We may not be doing what we wish, but definitely we are being ourselves.
I believe what is more important is to step outside the idea that people are one dimensional or monophasic. People are full of contradictions, always in tension, and in a constant recreation of what they think of themselves and the world around.
Answering your question: Satoru hides under a facade? What could it mean that he pretends to be something that he isn’t? Satoru hides his most personal feelings like any other person would. He is lonely, probably sad, yet that is not everything he is. So the fact he is not showing all the time that he feels lonely or sad doesn’t mean that he is pretending. He is just playing his role of what he thinks he should be as teacher and sorcerer, and that is the result of his ideas and representations.
Maybe if he had a close friend we could see him talking more about his sadness. In our societies sadness is seen as a weakness or a flaw, so people tend to be less open about that than others feelings. Is coherent that Satoru is more open about happiness than sadness. But his cheerful actitudes and his struggles, everything is part of him. There aren’t fake parts.
About his childish personality. While I don’t fully disagree about the idea that is the result of not being able to be a child, I will like to put it in another terms. More than trying to compensate, Satoru just values the carelessness of a child's existence. We have a specific idea of what an adult is and how they should act (Nanami oftenly speak about it), but this is just an idea. We are back to the social roles, adults play a role of what society hopes from them. Since Satoru disagrees so much with the elders of jujutsu society and elders in general, it is reasonable he will act so differently. Thinking about this, the idea of “estar-siendo” of latinamerican philosophy always came to my mind. This opposes the idea of people's lives to become in something (in capitalist society you live to become adult and gain money), and present an idea that people exist while existing, the pleasure of existence is there and you don’t have to become in something else (wait to have money to be happy). This is a very-very simple way to present this idea, but my point is that our idea of adulthood/childhood is inherent to the societies we live in. Other ways to be an adult are possible. Maybe Satoru is not trying to be a child, but trying to be a different type of adult.
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Red Butterflies - chapter 3
Here is the update, even if I still don’t think anyone is reading this fic here.
Read on AO3
Juzo Sakakura was sitting on a chair, watching his friend pacing around the room. This was quite an usual occurrence, but this time, Kyosuke seemed more nervous than he usually was. He kept staring at him for a few more minutes, until the white-haired man returned his glance. Then, Juzo lowered his gaze and stared at his hands. Dammit, he thought, he knows exactly how I feel about him but I’m still acting as if I were supposed to hide it – as if he hadn’t told me that it was okay and he did return my feelings, but that I just had to be patient. On top of that, I’m just sitting here, in silence, when I know damn well that something is bothering him. It’s both because of and thanks to me that he’s in this position, but I’m still useless. I really don’t deserve to be his right-hand man, especially not when I’m acting like a silly school boy with a crush on the popular guy. I need to snap out of it.
He did eventually snap out of it, but as always, it was a second too late. Gekkogahara-san, their former classmate, had already made her way into the office. Kyosuke gestured for her to come closer, having her sit across from him, and right next to Juzo. As every morning, it was also Kyosuke who started the conversation going, while Juzo just sat there silently, cursing himself for not being more assertive in his presence and when he needed him:
“How was Kamukura-kun this morning?”
The question remained up in the air for a few more seconds than usual, as if Gekkogahara-san was thinking about what to say. Juzo was once again about to speak when she began typing. The voice of the avatar she used to communicate soon filled the room:
“I think we’ve finally begun to make progress. Kamukura-kun had a very light dream last night, but he didn’t want me to tell you about it. From what I understand, it’s related to video games. He said he saw a pixelated spaceship. There’s only one problem though, he said he doesn’t want to play video games again today. You know, the usual complaint about how boring it all is. Except he’s never made such a request about anything else you’ve had him do over the past year, so there has to be something going on.”
“Thank you, Gekkogahara-san. Was there anything else?”
“Well, I have a request, you know, as your former classmate.” Juzo noticed that she made her avatar, Usami, wink at Kyosuke. Even though she was constantly hiding behind that pink rabbit, he almost envied the confidence she’d gained through it.
“What would that be?”
“Don’t ask Kamukura-kun to play video games—”
“But you said they’re the reason for the recent progress.”
“If you force it on him, you’ll ruin that progress,” Usami’s high-pitched but soft voice explained. “I am as excited as you to see that Kamukura-kun may be secretly experiencing something other than boredom, but I don’t want to rush it. We don’t know what any of it means yet. It could be dangerous.”
Juzo threw a quick glance at Kyosuke, who seemed slightly annoyed with what he’d just heard. Despite that, the white-haired man complied, and told Gekkogahara-san that he would see her tomorrow morning at the usual time. And just like that, their former classmate was gone. It was just the two of them again. Juzo stared at one of the immaculately white walls of the office until he finally decided to speak:
“Are you going to listen to her?”
“She knows better, doesn’t she?”
“But you said that when the Kamukura ordeal would be taken care of we could finally—”
“Enough, Juzo,” Kyosuke snapped. “While it’s true that intend to step down from the position of chairman and to give it back to Kirigiri-san so that I can focus on my….” He paused, swallowing loudly, as if what he were about to say was wrong. “Personal matters, it doesn’t mean that I want to rush any of this. It would be bad if I handed this back to Kirigiri-san without making sure everything has been thoroughly dealt with. Kamukura-kun may not be a threat now, but that doesn’t mean he won’t become one in the future. You know how Kirigiri-san is. He lacks the strength of a true leader. I care too much about this academy to leave it before fully fixing it.”
Juzo’s heart sank as he heard his words. He felt like screaming at him, only to ask him if cared about anything other than that damn academy, and if he even cared about him. He wanted to tell him that they should forget about this academy, but he did none of it. Instead, he just nodded and went back to staring at the wall. He was tired of constantly having to put on this tough guy act, as if nothing affected him, but he had to. He was the Former Ultimate Boxer; the epitome of manliness. He couldn’t afford to let his feelings get the best of him. It had saved them against Enoshima, but it wouldn’t save them again. The only problem was that ever since he had confessed to Kyosuke, it had become harder for him to repress it.
“Very well, what can I do to help?”
Kyosuke slowly paced towards one of the shelves, pulling a file from it. It was labelled ‘Class 77’ and contained the profiles of all the students from that class, as well as Yukizome Chisa’s, their homeroom teacher. He placed the file on the desk and started flipping through it, and stopped on one page.
“This is Nanami Chiaki,” he spoke. “She’s the Ultimate Gamer. From what I have gathered from Matsuda’s notes on the Kamukura project, Hajime Hinata, Kamukura-kun’s vessel, used to be very close to her.” He tapped a finger on her picture, pointing at the hairclip. “I think that’s the spaceship Gekkogahara-san was talking about.”
“Why didn’t you tell her?”
“Because, I plan on going against what she said,” he whispered, now pointing towards the door and making Juzo understand that it was possible their former classmate was spying on them. He didn’t think she was the type to do that, but he knew how careful Munakata-kun was. “I will make sure they keep playing together, even today. But I need you to find out what game that hairclip comes from.”
Juzo wanted to ask him why, or how to go about it, but decided against it. He finally had a good opportunity to impress him again, and he wasn’t going to let it pass. After almost a year of constantly screwing up, he was grateful he had been given a simple enough task. He stood up, facing Kyosuke and lowering his gaze so as to stare in his deep blue eyes.
“I will bring that information to you before the end of the day,” he promised.
“Just don’t be reckless, I don’t want Gekkogahara-san to figure us out.”
Juzo gave his friend a quick nod, and stepped out of the office. In the hallway, he looked out the window. The sun was shining bright, bringing him that extra hope he needed to carry on with his task.
XXXXXXX
The bell rang, letting everyone know that the day was over. Chiaki stood up and waved goodbye to her classmates as she walked out the door. She stepped outside of the building, smiling as she felt the sunlight hit her pale skin. There was something else she wanted to do today: go home and play video games with Izukura. Despite the fact he’d been calling the games boring the entire time they were playing, she had a feeling that he would be online again tonight, and that she would finally get to beat him and show him that video games were fun. She wasn’t too sure why, but even though she didn’t know anything about the person hiding behind that username, she was intrigued by them. If she were entirely honest, part of her couldn’t believe that they were actually bored last night. Maybe it was wishful thinking, but she felt as though it was all an act. No one around her had ever been bored playing video games after all, not even her most inexperienced classmates.
As she was thinking about which games they would play tonight, she bumped into someone. Chiaki absentmindedly apologized before looking up at the person. All she saw was a mass of muscles, tan skin, and short, wavy green-ish hair. She quickly realized that she’d bumped into Juzo Sakakura-san, the headmaster’s right hand man. At that moment, she almost envied Komaeda-kun’s luck. This would have never happened to him.
“Are you okay?” Chiaki’s eyes widened, as she processed these words. Those were exactly the first words Hinata-kun had exchanged with her when they had first met. In spite of what she had promised herself yesterday, the memories that were suddenly flowing back made her upset.
“Yes, I should have watched where I was going. I’m really sorry,” she replied, walking away as quickly as possible. She didn’t want to be here. The sky was starting to turn a bright orange, just like it had on that evening. The setting was so similar that it was unbearable.
“Wait, you’re Chiaki Nanami, the Ultimate Gamer, right?” She nodded, still unable to face him. “This may be a weird question,” he continued, “but I remember playing the game your hairpin is from as a teenager but I can’t remember its na—”
At that point, Chiaki’s brain tuned out. Why was he asking her about Gala Omega? Why did this moment seem to mirror her first encounter with Hinata-kun? Why was one of the most important members of the academy’s staff so interested in her all of a sudden? Had she really bumped into him, or had he been standing in her way so this would happen?
“Nanami-san, are you okay?”
“I’m sorry, Sakakura-san, what was the question?”
“What’s the name of the game this is from,” he replied, pointing at her hairclip.
She tried to speak, but no sound came out of her mouth. The air she had inhaled in order to speak seemed to be stuck in her throat, forming a lump that made breathing harder than it had ever been. Chiaki wasn’t sure what was happening to her. She could faintly hear Sakakura-san calling her name, but the world around her seemed to be spinning. She dug her fingernails into her palms, as though she were trying to anchor herself to something. Her vision became blurry and, as she lost her balance, she was surprised not to crash onto the solid concrete beneath her. Instead, she felt something warm. A few seconds later, everything around her turned black. The last things she remembered were thinking about how much she wished she’d never met Hinata-kun, and hearing Sakakura-san muttering something about messing up.
XXXXXXX
Juzo cursed himself as Nanami-san’s small frame collided with his arms. He had no idea what had just happened, but he got that familiar feeling that always occurred after botching whatever mission Munakata-kun had assigned him. Yet, he knew it wasn’t too late. With all the buzzing from the students of the academy walking back to their dorms, his conversation with Nanami-san, and her eventually fainting had seemingly gone unnoticed. That meant he still had time to take her to the nurse’s office without being questioned by any of his former classmates. If he were lucky enough, Mikan Tsumiki’s shift would have started by the time he would reach the office. The Ultimate Nurse definitely lacked the confidence to go against orders, or to ask any type of question to anyone who gave them to her. It would be easy enough to ask her to hide this from others. Having a more concrete picture of what he was supposed to do now, Juzo rushed to his destination.
He eventually reached the nurse’s office, after what had felt like hours – though in reality, he knew it’d only been a few minutes. He had been on edge the entire time, scanning his surroundings before every step to ensure that he wouldn’t run into Gekkogahara-san, or worse, Yukizome-san. While it was the former that Munakata-kun had asked him to keep this a secret from, Juzo knew that he could always make up a story explaining why he had been with Nanami-san when she passed out if he saw her. That would probably stop her from being too suspicious or reporting anything to their boss. Besides, it was unlikely that she would even recognize Nanami-san, or know who she was. She hadn’t even mentioned her in her report to Munakata-kun. This would be okay. Yukizome-san, however, was too close to Munakata-kun to hide anything from him. She was still, even though he knew the other man had been avoiding her, his girlfriend, and she still called him every night. Juzo knew this because he usually was around when his crush’s phone would ring, and hearing him pick up and talk to her always made his stomach turn. He used to be able to deal with their relationship, but now that Munakata-kun knew how he felt and seemed to reciprocate, things were different.
Juzo gently opened the door to the nurse’s office without knocking, taking a glance inside. Once again, he ruined everything.
“Fuck,” he breathed, just loud enough for the head of blue hair that was inside the office to turn towards him.
“Wh-what happened to Nanami-san?” Tsumiki-san asked, rushing towards him.
Having lost all his composure after seeing Gekkogahara-san in the room, Juzo was unable to lie. “We were talking and she suddenly passed out,” he mumbled before pausing. The Ultimate Nurse had him lay the young girl on one of the beds. “It may be that she’s not eat—”
“Well,” Usami’s voice chimed in, “this may be nerdview, but maybe whatever you were talking to her about stressed her out. You’re one of the higher-ups, it would make sense. I’ll do a little check-up when she comes to. Munakata-kun is waiting for you, anyway.”
“…Really?” Juzo, hesitated. He wanted to tell Gekkogahara-san that she was wrong, but he knew it was pointless. Besides, despite the fact she was communicating via her avatar, he felt like she knew something already. If she didn’t, she would have asked him what he had been talking to Nanami-san about. Staying here and protesting would only make things worse, so it was better to comply. Things were already bad enough as they were, but there was still a chance that Munakata-kun would never hear about this. “I’ll go then. Thank you.”
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