#don't even get me started on council tax that's still a thing

[rrking]

Some General BG HCs

Me and my wifey often discuss Astarion things in real life, and there are a few that I thought I would share.

Spoiler warning⚠

Astarion

Random knowledge bank. Meeting your parents for the first time and your dad wants to talk about history? Ask Astarion, if he doesn't just know, he remembers.

Enjoys going to the library. Does not enjoy the rabble who also enjoy the library. You have to explain to him over and over about library cards and infrared scanners so he doesn't just nope out and steal the book. Also gets annoyed when books from his time are revised.

Don't want to touch the raw meat packaging? No worries, Astarion will lick it up for you. Imagine him leant against the kitchen counter sucking up the blood from that piece of paper at the bottom of the mince. (A wifey thought)

On the subject of blood, if you cut your finger in the house he will be licking that up for you with a leering grin. Dragging it out so he can watch how you roll your eyes at him.

Comes in late, as usual, but this time after taking out every fucking goose or pigeon in the local area. The council are unhappy. Astarion is ecstatic. Word of a bird plague is sweeping through the borough. You are not happy with Astarion. Astarion doesn't care about the council until they put your council tax up.

Glares out of the window at kids playing but won't admit they're kind of cute. Especially glarey when kids come to the door trick or treating. Bonus points if they're dressed as vampires... Maybe he'll compliment them. "Darlings, look at your adorable little capes! Does your mother know you lot are prancing around dressed like monsters?" Will absolutely deny any niceties when you look at him knowingly, a smirk appearing on your lips as you notice the bucket of sweets he's holding, still excited after giving the children far more than they needed. or asked for.

Moans and groans when you watch vampire films. "Darling, turn that nonsense off, would you? Were you curious about vampires, you have one right here."

Groans even more when you watch law and order style programs, particularly court ones. Bad memories. "And why did he not get the death sentence?!"

Serial social media meme stealer.

Always creeps up behind you when you are looking in the mirror, ready to scare you. Or shag you, you be the judge.

Gale

Want chippy but don't want to get up or wait for an order? Blink. Gale will blink there and back. What's faster than Uber Eats? Going via the Astral Plane.

100000% will make you a brew if you ask :) He turns up with your favourite mug and your drink exactly the way you like it.

The type of man to run you a hot bath ready when you get in from work or if you've had a hard day just because.

Definitely discovers Nivea for Men.

Remembers things like birthdays and anniversaries.

Sees shiny things and wonders if they're infused with the weave. Gazing through the jewellery shop window.

Suffers through Harry Potter at Christmas wondering where all the elegant wizards are.

Started a thing where you leave post it notes for one another with sweet nothings on. Today as you're walking past the calendar pinned to the kitchen wall, you spot a new post it note. This one is pink and bares Gale's graceful handwriting. It reads: "My most special one, everyday I wake up next to you I feel luckier than the last. Have a great day x" Such devoted notes leave you feeling warm inside.

Halsin

Prefers to buy 'living herbs' than ground jar ones because NATURE.

Is that person who goes past an adult shop and says loudly "let's go inside!"

Definitely gets stuck in garden chairs and the like due to being so massive. Don't get this man in a smart car.

Stands up at barbecues if the chair is too small. It probably is.

Literally has to be told to avoid the bear story to others because they will not understand but tells it anyway if he gets too drunk.

Actually finds it quite difficult to adapt to modern society almost more than Lae'zel.

If you live in the countryside, Halsin definitely finds it a little easier, but if you live in the city he is constantly asking questions. The thing that catches his eye today is a statue above the bank door - a lion with a key in his mouth. "Does that petrified displacer beast not wish to return to the wilderness?" "Halsin, that is a statue of a lion with a key in it's mouth." "...Oh. Why does it guard a key?" You look at him curiously, unsure of how to answer such an innocent question. "It's just HSBC's thing... I don't actually know."

Struggles to find clothes that actually fit.

Will share you a meme you tagged him in and never truly understand the new technology.

Totally enjoys long walks and feeding ducks. Eats all of the bread.

Tries to speak to the animals at the zoo. (Wifey)

Incosolably weeps at nature programs. Very confused when you try to explain that nature has to take it's course for them to film.

First thought upon seeing CGI animals dancing and talking : "IT'S A DRUID!"

Votes Green Party.

Lae'zel

Lae'zel struggles the most to integrate into modern society.

She takes up some form of fighting WWE and does not understand why the fighters don't actually hurt each other.

She complains about this after making absolute bank of course. "Ch'k! These istik talk about fighting for glory - Yet they simply roughhouse for pitiful coin." "Yeah, but look at how famous you are, Lae'zel..." Rollin', rollin', all my bitches rollin'.

Hates ood in Doctor Who for obvious reasons. "Tsk'va, ghaik!"

Wifey came up with 'Bae'zel'.

Karlach

Believes stupid spam emails you have to send onto others. (Wifey thought of this)

Shares that post of the missing dog on the other side of the world who was found 3 years ago.

Discovers TikTok, only shares animal videos and smashes TikTok dances.

Discovers aircon. 🥺

Discovers hot wing challenges... Excels at said hot wing challenges. and collects all the t shirts for winning food challenges.

Shadowheart

Posts things on Facebook like 'Shar/Selune keeps me in check. Like, share and comment 'Praise be to Shar/Selune' if she keeps you in check." Definitely gets flamed by the others.

Ends up with cute hobbies like paper quilling and crafts. Makes things for you. "You've really improved your crochet, Shadowheart! What is this one called?" Gives him a simple name like Bob or Clyde and puts him with the rest, cramming the mantle with them.

[brandwhorestarscream]

Great, now I want to hear your takes on the other 'Cons as amnesiacs

Wish granted! :D

We'll just start at the top and go down the line:

- Megatron as an amnesiac is reverted back to before the decepticon movement was even conceived. Originally, the civilians and war frames all lived together when Megs was vv small, but very early into his life there was a call for segregation: all of the war frames were delegated to the southern half of the planet, and the civilians were delegated to the north. That was the beginning of the downward spiral of Cybertron.

The southern half was, for lack of a better term, like a third world country. It was rougher around the edges and not as privileged as the north, but it wasn't a bad place to live. It was full of culture, art, music, and the people there weren't wealthy but they had fuel and family and that was enough. Despite that, the northerners had a tendency to spit on them, disparage them, calling them savages and less-thans simply because they were "dogs of war". The majority of the energon mines were in the south, so they were exceptionally important. But things spiralled out of control with massive taxes and more and more oppressive laws. Millions of years passed and the south fell into complete disrepair, cut off from the government, wages at a record low, mecha starving or dying from injury or illness because there was no medical care. Eventually, with the extraction of the All Spark and the discovery that fully-functional adults could be factory made, there were restrictions placed on sparklings, and then they were banned all together. That was the final breaking point for the war frames--the council could call it whatever they wanted, but that's genocide! The civilians had no intentions of ever making more war frames, they were trying to drive them to extinction! It was a hellscape that could crush the spirit out of literally anyone

The amnesiac Megatron I'm imagining is reverted back to a time before the idea of rebellion was ever sparked in his mind. He's exceptionally quiet and introspective. He's used to living every day in an endless, droning cycle: wake up, work a 16 hour shift, drink whatever percentage of fuel he's earned that day, collapse into bed, and repeat. On earth, with all of his memories gone, he has no idea what to do with himself. All he's ever done, for countless years, is work. He has no hobbies, no friends, nothing to occupy his time with. And now, by god, he has all the time in the world.

There's no energon mines on this planet, there's no way for him to get home. He's honestly pretty lost and has no idea what to do with himself. After awhile he does start to come out of his shell, but it's slow going and he still doesn't say much. He's very socially awkward and doesn't know how to really talk to people, a very stark contrast to the hard-earned charisma of his present self. He's weirdly almost sweet, once he gets used to you, and treats everyone like an equal.

- Lugnut is next. He's still got a very loud, boisterous personality, but rather than a one-track Megatron mind, he's just a very noisy, excitable person in general. I hc that Lugnut was an empurata victim, with the one optic and the pincer-like claws? Fight me. He was also either mnemosurgeried or shadowplayed, but the process was interrupted halfway through. There was a decepticon raid on the facility he was being worked on at, and their saving him from having the process completed unfortunately scrambled his processor a bit. Having a delicate neurosurgery interrupted will do that. His screwy codes kinda imprinted on Megatron as his 'savior', aka why he's so obsessive and worships the ground he walks on.

He's never been to an organic planet before, never even been outside of his home city on Cybertron, so earth is a special treat. They don't have mechanimals where he's from, nor any crystal flora, so to be able to witness so many creatures is beyond incredible for him. He likes to imagine what these sorts of flora and fauna would look like back home, and if you think he doesn't pester Bulkhead into painting cybertronian versions of blue jays and squirrels, you're dead wrong

Despite their polar opposite personalities, he actually gets along well with Prowl. Go figure. It's the fellow nature-enthusiast. Granted, yeah, he gets too excited and 10 out of 10 times scares away the critters they're watching, but he's so genuinely enthusiastic It's hard to be mad

- Blitzwing is the one I toiled over the most, honestly. Cuz, before and even during the war, he was a single, unified person. He didn't become a triple changer until Blackarachnia put him under the knife, and that was millions of years after the cons had been exiled. So, this is a toughie

Icy, Hothead, and Random are all still there, first and foremost. Losing memories wouldn't cause them to just vanish. So now, Blitzwing has the added horror of his pre-experimentation self trying to shine through, but is being contrasted by three other people. All four of them are completely lost; they have no recollection of any war, autobots nor decepticons. Original Blitzwing has memories of his home on Cybertron, and it's like he suddenly just woke up to 3 other bots living in his head and taking over his body in sporadic bursts. Meanwhile Icy, Hothead, and Random have no memories of anything. It's like they've been factory reset to day 1

Needless to say, Blitzy is a mess. He feels like he's gone completely crazy, voices he doesn't know constantly ringing out in his head, taking control of his body and puppeting him. He's conscious in there even when the other faces take over, but he can't do anything but watch and listen and feel. He knows exactly what's going on at all times, but it's like he's stuck in the passenger seat. It's awful. Poor guy is plagued with insomnia and debilitating migraines, the type that make it feel like his helm is a nuclear reactor about to reach critical mass, and all he can do is lay completely still in total darkness as the worst pain he's ever felt stabs him in the processor over and over and over again.

He's honestly struggling a lot, mental health wise. Stranded on a planet he doesn't know with a bunch of strangers, having the worst identity crisis in the history of crises, 2 seconds away from a total psychotic breakdown. It's enough to give him... scary thoughts, honestly. Thoughts about drugging or hurting himself, just so he could finally have some peace and feel like a real person again. He needs a lot of help just functioning in his day to day, and should be watched closely. He's in Ratchet's medbay a lot (assuming he ends up like Starscream and is in autobot care), and the old doctor has seen a lot of fucked up shit in his day, but watching this poor kid absolutely decimated, sobbing brokenly and begging for sedation because he literally can't control his body and has been invaded and violated by 3 strangers, really makes his spark ache

[loveforalexzverev]

🎤 Alexander's pre-tournament press conference before Wimbledon - Part 1 of 2:

Transcript:

Moderator: Good afternoon, welcome to the press conference for Alexander Zverev. Please raise your hand, state your name and organisation when asking your question. We will start with questions in English. [To Sascha] Alexander, you've had some good form on grass, how're you feeling?

Sascha: Yeah, I feel good. [About the microphone] I don't have to lean in, right?

Moderator: No.

Sascha: I feel good. Obviously, the last few months have been quite positive for me, winning in Rome and then, obviously a bit of a disappointing loss in the final of the French Open. But still, you know, all in all, a good tournament. And, yeah, hopefully I can show that here at the Championship as well.

Q1: Hi there, Alex. Coming into this event, as Fay was saying, you've had some good results on grass at other tournaments, but maybe not reached your highest level here in terms of what you've done at Grand Slam tournaments. Do you feel any different this time to previous years?

Sascha: Yeah, actually, I talked about it with my brother, it's the first time that I really feel like I'm here to be a competitor, to maybe win the title. I didn't feel like that in previous years when I came here, I didn't feel like I was capable, I didn't believe I was capable. But I also do think this is the most open Wimbledon Championship that we, maybe, had in 20 years, in terms of favourites, in terms of potential winners.

I think there is multiple guys who have a very decent chance of going deep and very decent chance of winning the tournament. And I don't think it has been like that for, maybe, 20 years, since before Roger started playing, right? And after Roger came Rafa and Novak and Andy. And it was always, you know, a very limited amount of guys who were actually able to compete and to win the tournament.

And I really feel it's different this year, I really feel that I can say that, you know, I'm one of those guys who is gonna do everything they can. And, is it a tournament where, maybe, I need a bit more luck and, maybe, a few things to go my way, a few things to happen? Yes, definitely more than maybe at other Grand Slams. But, if those things all come into place and if all those things, you know, maybe go my way for once, do I believe I can win? Then yes, I can.

Q2: Hey, Alex. Looking ahead to the Paris Olympics, how is it different? How's the preparation and the build-up, or even the pressure, different at the Olympics compared to a Grand Slam? And, kind of, where do you rate your Gold medal in terms of, you know, career accomplishments?

Sascha: I was actually practising with Berrettini yesterday, who works with Rafa's ex-coach now, and, you know, he said one funny thing to me, he said the Olympics is probably the most difficult trophy to win in tennis for us, because we have that tournament once every 4 years. If you're not performing during that week, then, you know, you have to wait another 4 years. Where, Grand Slams or other events, we have multiple per year.

Of course, I'm not saying the Olympics is more important than a Grand Slam or vice versa, but in terms of, obviously, pressure and in terms of expectations, especially playing for your country, it is, for me, one of the biggest trophies and, for me, one of the biggest things in sports.

Q3: As someone who's been in many really deep fifth-set matches that are very taxing on the body and on the mind, what is your thought on the importance of five-set matches in tennis, and the possibility of maybe getting rid of them and going to three, the way the women have?

Sascha: As you all know, I'm part of the Player Council, I'm part of, just, the governing bodies of our Tour, and, to be honest, we have a lot of these discussions. We have a lot of the discussions, you know, getting rid of the Let rules, and getting rid of, you know, linesmen at the French Open now, and all of that.

Tennis is fine, tennis is one of the oldest sports that there is, that has ever been created. We've been playing this beautiful sport since the 19th century. And the rules of tennis, they're fine, we don't need to make up new rules all the time, we don't need to, you know, come up with new things every few years.

I think that the sport of tennis is loved by so many around the world, and I think the difficulty of winning a Grand Slam are the five-set matches; it is the physicality, it is what you work for in the off-season. It's not - you know, of course, winning a Masters 1000 event is huge, winning a three-set event like the World Tour Finals is huge in tennis.

But the most difficult task in our sport is winning a Grand Slam because of the five-set matches. And in my opinion, there is no way that we should ever get rid of that, I think. Because that is what makes Wimbledon so special, that is what makes the French Open so special, you know? Having those five-hour battles where you really see the players exhausted, you really see the players at their limits. And, for me, that's what I work for in the off-season, and I don't think we should get rid of that.

[survey--s]

625.

If you have a job, how long is your shift? I run my own business so I don't really have shifts. If I have them, I do cat visits from 6-7am, then dog walks 8.30-2pm, and then any evening visits are between 4-5pm. I normally just have dog walks though, cat visits are only a few weeks a year.

What was the last thing you received in an envelope? Something about council tax.

Do you ever wear your hair in a pony tail? No, I tend to put it up in a messy bun as it's better at keeping it out of my eyes than a ponytail.

When was the last time you got a new phone? About two years ago.

Do you wear your watch on your left or right arm? I don't wear a watch.

What was the last kind of pop you drank? Pepsi Max.

Do you think you’re single because you repel the opposite sex? I'm not single.

What language did you take up in high school? We had to do French and then I picked German as my second option.

Why are you home? Because I have to head off to feed Monty in half an hour, so there's not really much point in going anywhere else now.

Do you like sunflowers? They're pretty, sure.

Whose bedroom were you in last? Mine.

Are you counting down for anything? Leaving to feed Monty, lol.

Are you watching TV? What’s on? I'm watching an old episode of Dogs Behaving Badly.

Have you ever been bitten by a mosquito? Yeah, a couple of times.

Do you have a sweatshirt on right now? No, it's way too warm for anything like that lol.

Where is your ex? I really don't care.

Have any pictures on your dresser mirror? No.

Did you hang out with anyone today? What did you do? Just Mike and we just hung out at home.

Have you had any beer this week? No.

What channel did you last watch on tv? I haven't watched live TV for years.

What was the last alcoholic beverage you consumed? I had some wine at New Year.

Currently waiting on something/someone? Ha, yes, like I explained twice up-thread. Monty gets fed around four and I swear he gets huffy if I'm late lol.

Last time you painted your nails? I painted my toenails a few weeks ago. I don't think I've painted my fingernails since our wedding day.

What was the last thing you watched on television? Dogs Behaving Very Badly.

Is your shirt yellow? No.

How old will you be in 12 months? I'll be 35.

What did you do last night? Fed Jess and Monty, came home and just chilled in front of the TV as it was just so muggy and humid.

What woke you up this morning? Mike getting up to go fishing -_-

Do you sleep naked? No.

What should you be doing right now? Nothing, really. I have nothing else I need to do except my evenings visits.

Looking back, did you ever think you would be where you are now? No.

Do you have make-up on? Yeah, a bit of foundation as it doubles as sunscreen.

Have you kissed anybody in the last 4 days? Yeah.

Have you ever held hands with someone in a car? Yes.

The last person you kissed name started with a J or R? Both wrong.

Are you taller than 5 foot 7 inches? Yeah, by an inch.

Would you rather be called honey or baby? Baby.

The person you have the most feelings for calls you right now, what do you do? Wonder why he was calling me from the shed instead of just coming in to speak to me in person lol.

Why aren’t you texting the last person you kissed? Because he's only outside.

Could you go the rest of your life without smoking a cigarette? Yeah.

Your last kiss meant nothing to you, right? No.

Where is your phone? Charging on the arm of the sofa.

Will you kiss the last person you kissed again? Yeah.

What if you had a baby with the last person you kissed? No thanks. I have no desire to have a baby ever.

Where did you get the shirt you are wearing? George.

Do you think you’ll be married in 5 years time? Yeah, well, I hope I'm still married in five years time lol.

Would you ever try being a vegetarian? I have done before but it wasn't for me.

Did anyone call you babe yesterday? No.

Did you ever slam a door on someone? I mean, not physically on them but yeah.

Have you ever walked on the beach at night? Yeah, loads of times now that I live by the coast.

I bet you’re thinking about someone right now? Nope.

Are you in love with someone right now? Yeah.

What have you watched so far today? I finally got round to watching the new Little Mermaid and then I've just been watching dog programmes on TV.

What is the weather like right now? Very humid. <---- sameee. It's horrible.

Have you ever given a toll collector 75 cents in pennies? Back in the days when the accepted cash, yeah.

What was your favorite Christmas gift you got last year? Probably my riding stuff.

[halloumie]

23 june 2022

a phone interview today, and some in-person and online interviews next week. i feel a bit more hopeful now that i'm starting to get interviews again. not just about my job prospects -- talking to real people, even strangers, makes me feel better and more connected.

called an immigration specialist today, since ainan and i have been thinking about me going on the partner visa, but i do want to study next year, which would complicate matters since i'd have to get on the student visa. strange half answers. the specialist said that it didn't matter how much i earned apparently, it had to be ainan earning the 18.6k. we'll be consulting another solicitor.

the specialist heard a strange voice on my end of the call. big shivers scaling the stairs of my building alone, thinking about how scared she sounded. my parents think the lines intercepted. i suspect i played something from my voice mail, but how could a caller listen to my voice mail?

went back to solving leetcode today after a break of 2-3 weeks of despair, induced by not getting any software engineering interviews. watching ainan solve algorithms reminds me of how much i enjoy it also, the frustration, the murky understanding and sometimes how things work. often they don't and i'm being increasingly ok with that.

i do want to pursue a postgrad in cs. i'd like to do computational linguistics at a research institution and have faculty support. i'd like to not have to choose dead end jobs forever and start a career in software engineering. i'd like to be able to explore cs in an academic setting, potentially pursuing something in the field of digital humanities or compling for a phd eventually. but mainly, i want to be doing something at work that feels like i'm learning and improving on a craft. i've been wanting to study cs formally for a while now.

and i want to acknowledge that rising feeling of betrayal. that yes, i am a lit person and i have studied lit, but it's ok to study something else too. i'm not turning my back on my appreciation for writing just because i'm curious about another field. not a sellout, because i'm not pursuing it just for potential future financial reward.

and it's okay to have desires and curiosity shaped by the world around me and its demands. i don't have to go off into a sensory deprivation chamber like siddhartha to discover who i am.

we're closing in on a deal for the house. ordered some furniture to come in next month. i want the interior to be japandi, and he's fine with that. it's amazing how we've managed to stuff all our belongings in a tiny room so far. but again, i haven't been earning any money so there has been no possibility of buying anything.

right now i want to be financially comfortable enough to not panic and worry everyday. be able to pay council tax, finance a car and get a dog. so any job is okay. minimum wage is a pretty good deal, compared to sg.

and if working here is anything like i've experienced at volunteering so far, it will be far less abusive and unsettling than working in singapore.

i get heat headaches these days because it's summer. i sneeze when in pain, and my face feels clogged up so i know it's a sinus headache. these headaches are so often now that it's hot in the afternoon. and i'm acknowledging how much i've suffered in sg heat. it only gets up to 27 degrees so far. today was 25. the way the building traps heat doesn't help but still. i really did suffer in singapore.

so the past week has been spent applying on jobs (i used indeed this time and got a bunch of responses), helping out at the bookstore, panic scrolling reddit, finally settling around evenings to watch dougoug live or on yt. ainan and i have been watching black books, which is enjoyable.

the evenings are a relief as the temperature drops to around 20 degrees and i sit by the open window. i feel better when the sun's out, almost like i'm permitted to breathe better.

[tuesday-teyz]

If this hasn’t already been asked….

What would have happened if br!Phil’s assassination attempt was a success and Theseus really became an orphan?

Theseus would become an emperor at 14, making him the youngest Emperor of the Antarctic Empire in history. Shall Wilbur have returned, Tommy would give him a choice of either leaving the capital voluntarily or getting exiled, at the same time in both cases Tommy demands that he leaves Fundy behind because he wants to raise him as the next crown prince. Wilbur is or course against it and tries to leave with Fundy, but is stopped by Techno, who, even if with great hesitance, drags Wilbur away.

As Tommy grows and his reign goes on, he turns paranoid and harsh. He punishes anybody who have the slightest idea of defying him and everybody is afraid of the Emperor. Some people in the palace try to prevent him from spiraling initially, but when it proves useless, assassination attempts make Tommy even more cruel. Wilbur and Sally slowly start gathering a revolution. They attack guards, wreck taxing offices, rob Imperial family's manors. Sally gets captured during one of those missions and Tommy gets Techno to execute her. Grief-striken Wilbur demands Techno kills him too, Techno refuses. Wilbur tells him that Tommy is no longer their brother, that he has turned into a tyrant and that more people are going to suffer if they don't stop him.

Wilbur continues with the revolution and manages to gather support of nobles too. Joined forces manage to siege the palace. They are about to attack it, but Techno opens the main gates and surrenders voluntarily together with the guards. Wilbur and his supporters find Tommy sitting on the throne, he is nineteen at the time. Tommy doesn't make a sound or change in face when they throw him off the throne and only squeezes his eyes when Wilbur is about to put a sword through his chest. Suddenly Fundy comes running and throws himself between Tommy and the sword. He screams at Wilbur, clings to Tommy ("Don't hurt my brother!"). Fundy doesn't remember Wilbur because he was 2 years old when he was taken, Tommy lied and told him that they're brothers, and they love one another as such. Tommy genuinely loves Fundy and his nephew was the only person he still showed affection and kindness to, proving that he's still capable of those emotions but is too afraid and hurt to show them. While Wilbur stands abashed, he notices that Tommy started shaking. He bursts crying, sobs and begs Fundy not to leave him like everybody else did. The sword falls from Wilbur's hand.

Epilogue to Wilbur becoming the new Emperor. Fundy avoids him but Wilbur takes it slow to introduce himself to his son again. Techno is exiled for his crimes. He plans to live far, far north and get some time to rethink his life. Wilbur bids him goodbye and goes to the dungeons, where Tommy is locked up in one of the cells, barely moving. Wilbur talks to him and tries to understand where did it all go so wrong. Suddenly Tommy starts speaking,

"At eleven years my mother passed away, my brother abandoned me, and I became a crown-prince. At fourteen my father died and I became the sole ruler of the biggest empire the history has ever known. At fifteen my council tried to dethrone me. At sixteen my best friend poisoned my drink. At seventeen I tried to jump off the highest tower in the palace. Last hour of being eighteen I spent bleeding out from self-inflicted cuts. Two weeks ago my brother and general, my last protection, opened the main gates and let my biggest enemy into my home."

Tommy retells all of it without any emotions, then after a stunned silence from Wilbur, he adds, "You ask when it all went south. My answer is that my birth was a mistake. No matter how much I tried, some things are just never meant to be." A pause. "Your wife was hung. When you do the same to me, don't let Fundy watch my neck break."

"I'm not going to execute you."

"A mistake on your part, Your Imperial Majesty," he laughs, then suddenly falls quiet and turns away from Wilbur. "Those nineteen years felt like an eternity. I'm tired, Wil. Grant me the mercy of finally getting my rest."

[tigergingicat]

2022 is one of those years when the ideals of the United States are aspirational rather than actual.

My teenagers refused to stand for the national anthem at the concert we went to last night. I can't blame them.

After all, this is not a year when America is the home of the free and the land of the brave. It's not a year when I can easily say that I'm proud to be an American.

I'm proud to be a liberal, though. I'm proud to be an election clerk, keeping one tiny corner of one small city safe for voters. I'm glad that I can call on the police officers at the polling place to kick out harassers. To have them back me up when I ask someone to take off their MAGA hat and they refuse. (I've not needed their help to enforce the no campaigning rule for the other side.) I'm still working on the town clerk about what to do about the disabled man who comes in with his mother, who tells him how to vote.

Being a true patriot is working to make your small corner AND the county AND the state AND the Federal government are accountable to the ideals of this country.

So when you vote in the midterms this year, go to the primaries and pick the person you believe is best for the job. (Don't want to join a party? Go to vote.org and learn how to vote in a primary in your state without enrolling in a party. In some states that means registering as an independent; in Massachusetts there's an Independent party, so make sure to register Unenrolled. When you get to the check-in, choose the party ballot that has your preferred candidate.)

Even-numbered years include elections for Congress (the Senate and House of Representatives), state governor, state legislators, some judges, district attorney, secretary of state (for your state). Congress holds the power for appointing or impeaching Supreme Court justices.

Next year, and any odd-numbered year, make sure to vote in your local elections. Your mayor, city or town council, school board/committee. These people determine the budget for your library and schools and police department. County elections determine things like who runs the sheriff's department and who runs the assessor of property taxes department. Some judges are elected at this level. If you can, go to at least one public government meeting per month. Run for local office or join a local governmental committee by appointment.

Start small for large effects. Sending money to candidates for major offices only goes so far.

Be a patriot. We have to hold each other accountable to the ideals the country was founded on, even if the founders didn't. Even if our Supreme Court doesn't.

Keep the American Experiment going.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/1968099/chapters/100352571

[samsgayblog]

David

I so crushed on the guy that worked at Pizza Hut, but he was so goddamn sweet and looked a lot like Darius Ferdynand oh and more than likely straight lol.

So far David is the only person I've written about who's name is actually true. I change the names of all the people I've written about to protect my identity and also there's to a certain extent.

In David's case then I don't much see the point seeing as it would be extremely unlikely that he would stumble on this and even if he does then I've already made a fool of myself once so what the point ayy?

So the story of David …

When I was still in secondary school it was considered super cool to drink underage 🔞 and me being the conniving manipulative sod I am (or at least can be when I really want something) I was very good at getting booze for me and my friends.

I used to have an arrangement with the dodgy man from the off license at the local council estate and would pay twice the RRP for booze he couldn't sell. Over the years probably between the ages of 15 and 18 I did a good few deals with this man who we will call Mr Singh for the purposes of anonymity. It's not like I would visit him every week or every month but probably about 2 or 3 times per year I would call in on a Monday early evening.

One of the big scores I got from him or deals I managed to pull off was to buy about a liter of Gordon's Gin. I'm not a major fan of Gin but a teenager who wants to get pissed underage tends not to be too choosy. I won't give too much details about the shop or anything and I don't think he tended to sell booze to underage people but the way I managed to get him to sell it to me was a pretty ballsy move if I do say so myself.

I literally walking and told him 'look you know I'm not 18 and can't buy alcohol but I want to buy, your a self employed man and I know your just going to put the cash straight in your pocket and not put it through the till so let's make a deal' Mr Singh did have a reputation amongst some of the locals for being a bit dodgy in regards to Taxes and such lol (this I learnt from some the local old woman at the care home down the road but that a story for a different time), so I figured if any local shopkeeper was going to sell to me then he would.

I thought I was the shit for doing this and other than my best friend, nobody knew where I got the booze from but it did score me some serious street credit lol.

Anyway back to the David story lol …

One of my favorite things to do when I was in the last year of school was to go to the local leisure complex (bowlplex) with my best friends, go to the cinema to watch whatever the latest horror film was, and poor shit loads of Gin into one of those frozen drinks that the cinema overcharges for.

If your wondering how I got the money to do this then before you make an assumption, NO, Mummy and Daddy didn't give me loads of money (unlike some of the other kids I went to school with) instead when I was 13 my Dad told me to 'go out and find a Saturday job and don't come back until you've got one' which I did, kind of. Well I did end up coming home without a job after visiting all the little shops on the local high street (they all said not sorry you too young) but when I got home I told my Dad there aren't any jobs so I'm going to start my own business which ended up meaning I started doing window cleaning for people from Dad's church for £5 a house. After a few years I had some disposable income lol.

Seriously I will tell you how David factors into all this now I promise …

So me and my friends would go to the cinema and get pissed up a couple of Friday evenings a month (getting home in time for my curview of course). Anyway as we got a bit older and left school and after I started my apprenticeship we continued this little tradition but at 16 added a stage to our night out. food!

Next to the cinema there were a couple of restaurants and one of our favorites was Pizza Hut. Why was it our favorite? Well because who doesn't like pizza and oh yeah there was a really hot guy that worked there lol.

I had come out to my closest friends at this point (who were mostly girls) and so we had fun going to Pizza Hut and ordering some large cheesy bites pizzas to share while eyeing up the eye candy that was David, we would then of course go off to the cinema and get drunk while whispering about how hot he was and how one of us should ask him out … you can probably see where things go next lol.

I don't remember exactly when but one of us eventually came up with the brilliant idea of sneaking vodka and or gin to our drinks during one of our little pizza hut dinners. The short story is we got pissed at Pizza Hut and I got over confident and said to our waitress 'can you go tell David that we all think he's really hot' lol. It's amazing how confident you can get when you have a few drinks isn't it lol?

The waitress of course went over to him after cleaning up our table, and spoke to him behind the bar. I could hear what she said but she literally pointed at me directly and he stared at me and started laughing. Now don't get me wrong this isn't some trumatic story for me and it's really just a silly story I often think about from time to time, usually when I drive past a pizza hut lol.

I never did know if David was Gay or not an neither the waitress nor any of the staff ever said anything. I was too embarrassed to go back for a few weeks and when I returned, David never seemed to be there. I don't think he quit his job because of it or anything but it kinda made me sad. He was the first guy I ever really plucked up the courage to ask out (without first finding out if they are gay or not).

Its hard asking guys out, it's a straight world and let's face it most guys are straight. You gotta be careful about asking guys out Incase they take it the wrong way. I've been there and although things are getting better I know guys who have been beaten up or made fun of for telling a guy they like that he's hot and the guy in question who turned out to be straight didn't like it.

By the way you may be wondering why I picked a picture of Gay Pornstar Darius Ferdynand for this post and it's simple. David from Pizza Hut looked just like him 🤤 he was probably a few years older than I was and was probably one of the first guys I ever had a crush on lol.

[commanderfloppy]

Reveal Link's secrets!! Or Floppy's even. Give us secretss

I've already shared some Link secrets so here's some Floppy ones!

1. is an open secret

I’d say the fact she’s trans is a pretty open secret, like she doesn’t go yelling it from the rooftops but also doesn’t care about mentioning it. There was totally a moment where someone in Dragon’s Watch came out to her and she just went ‘oh I was like that too.’ 

2. is a secret the people close to your character know

That she once had a daughter, at first no one knew since she never mentioned it (maybe Zojia because she heard about a smart progeny who died early or something) but after Aerri came out of the Mists with Eir and Snaff she had to explain.  She didn’t really hate having too, it had been about a decade since she died at this point so she’s had time to deal with it, and it felt nice letting the members of her guild know something more about her. (She just hopes Braham and Taimi don’t start feeling bad about jokingly calling her mom) 

3. is a secret that your character wouldn't really care about getting out

Her country/non-rata sum origins. I could definitely see some shitty Arcane council member trying to undermine her during something and digging up the ‘dirt’ that she wasn’t from Rata Sum and didn’t even study in schools until college. Of course she doesn’t really care and it doesn’t do too much against her. It does start a very funny conversation around Dragon’s Watch about all the weird things that can now be explained about her. ‘Is this why you said you had a pet bog drake as a kid? I thought you were joking!’ 

4. is a secret exactly one person knows anything about

Rytlock knows so many things about the shitty ex she had Aerri with from their bitching sessions. I mean come on, Rytlock normally is not the type to share things about himself, let alone if you aren’t sharing anything of your own.

5. is a secret no one knows about but they sort of want to come out/to tell someone

How much she is starting to feel some of the effects of aging/commandering for 10+ years. She’s still pretty physically fit and capable, but she’s been noticing how her reflexes have become a bit more slow, and her scars have been twinging more, she even switched to using a staff as her main weapon since using a sword started to become a bit taxing. Her fear is that she won’t meet the expectations made of her and it will result in someone else getting hurt. 

6. is a secret no one knows and they desperately don't want anyone to know about.

Just how horribly bad her mental state was after Aerri died till she essentially died herself. She was just not doing good depression wise, she wasn’t like actively suicidal but definitely neutral about living. A lot of her earlier days as commander were gone about with the attitude of ‘better stay alive since it seems like I am needed to help, but if I do die everyone will probably be just fine without me.’ It wasn’t until like PoF-lws4 that she began to realize how much Dragon’s Watch actually cared about her, and that it wasn’t just because she was useful.

[thehubby]

Mike I need help. Every single time my players hit town they shop. Even if we had just gotten a bunch of stuff in the last session, and they swore up and down they didn't need *anything else*, they still go immediately to shop for more things and I'm getting frustrated and bored. We just had four weeks worth of sessions like this and I'm at the end of my patience. I had to shut the session down tonight before we even started because I said "we did a lot of shopping yesterday, so why don't we speed that up and leave town since there's nothing else you need." They immediately vetoed the idea and said no, actually, there was stuff they wanted to shop for!! Even though we just spent SIX HOURS shopping and talking to npcs yesterday!! My brain hit a wall and I had to tell them "I'm done, I can't do this anymore."

Help me MikeyWan Kenobi. You're my only hope.

Long post ahead.

I am here for you, Anon. I feel your pain. Actually, that's unfair of me -- I understand your pain but have not experienced it myself because my table of players is very well balanced, and although one or two of them have an affinity for shopping, it's partly my fault for making so many homebrew items and letting them occasionally nab a few from shops. Still, the other players at the table keep them in line and keep the game moving reasonably. It sounds like your entire table (or at least the majority) is driving you crazy in this regard, which is a more difficult challenge.

Here are my suggestions. I can't guarantee that they will work against diehard shopaholics, but this general flow often works for obsessive player behavior in general (murder-hoboing, insistence on lots of combat, refusal to fight, power-playing, and so on). You may tackle any or all of these in whatever order you think will benefit your group. You know your players better than I.

Figure out and understand why your players are doing this. There could be lots of reasons. Some players, particularly long-time veterans (who were often brought up in "Monty Haul" adventures) or raised on modern MMOs and computer RPGs, become driven by the acquisition of items -- to them, if their character isn't adorned like a Christmas tree, they aren't a success. There are also players who have "big spender" syndrome, an actual behavioral condition that exhibits in tabletop and digital RPGS: the player believes that their rise to power and success as a character can only be evidenced when they demonstrate their wealth. Not to put on my Psych 101 hat, but this is sometimes a projection of the player's own worldviews and experiences with wealth (or lack thereof; after all, some people play games like this as an escape from the reality of their own hardships). In addition to staying at upscale inns (if they haven't acquired their own property) and eating fine foods (if they haven't sought out a private chef on retainer), their characters also interact with a lot of shopkeepers, who are generally pleased to see people laden with coin and interested in their wares. I mean, who doesn't like being able to throw around money for the latest glimmering bauble while the sales associate waits ever patiently? But for some, it goes much further, and can be every bit the same pleasure as getting the killing blow on that blue dragon. And finally, some players are really just there for the talking. That's their whole bag. They would be happy putting all their skill points into Diplomacy, Intimidate, Sense Motive and using every stat as a dump except Charisma. It's weird, given the combat-oriented nature of the game, but those people really do exist.

Understanding the motivation behind your player behaviors will give you the best chance of curtailing that behavior in a way that satisfies both you and them.

You said your players vetoed leaving town and immediately said that there were things they wanted to shop for. My question, were I in your shoes and with your level of frustration, would be to ask what such things were, and if the characters had a legitimate need for the items. If the characters know what they are looking for, you as GM can immediately determine if they're available in town, and if they're exotic, perhaps there might be some searching or wheeling and dealing to even find where they are sold. If the players are looking for typical fare like more healing potions or a replacement for those +1 arrows they used up, this is easily handled without a 20 minute chat-fest, especially if it's your third such today. If the players don't know what they want, and just want to see what's available, don't hesitate to ask them why they believe they are ill-equipped for their continuing adventures despite you or NPCs telling them as such.

Such behavior can also be forcibly slowed or even stopped through the world-controlling power you wield as the GM, although if not handled delicately, this can significantly raise tensions at the table. The PCs, having arrived in town after a week subduing trolls in the Sootblack Hills, find that the stores are all but empty of magic items. Even the most basic potions and scrolls are a crapshoot to find; they might scour the entire city in search of any place that even has a magic weapon available? Why? Plenty of reasons. War has broken out, and supplies for every city in a couple hundred miles have been bought up or seized by the warring factions. Perhaps the ruling monarch (or council or whatever) has decreed for unknown reasons that the manufacture and sale of magical items is forbidden, punishable by imprisonment. An ancient order may have been awoken and has begun the theft or destruction of arcane equipment -- except for their own, of course. These turns of events might cause the PCs' own equipment to become even more valuable (or a threat to their safety) -- but any newfound wealth will do them little good with nothing magical to buy. All of these and similar actions are only stop-gaps; eventually, the PCs would be expected to help resolve the war, overthrow the sovereign, defeat the ancient order, or whatever is in their way. And then you're back to where you are now.

Always keep in mind the Wealth By Level restrictions for characters. This represents how much wealth a character possesses at any one time for their level (some GMs take a more stringent view that it represents the total wealth a PC will have accrued by that point in their career, so if the players fritter it away on women and chimichangas, tough noogies.) Characters can only buy things if they have the wealth to do so. Selling items they don't want comes with a steep penalty. Even in great condition, shops rarely pay more than half price for an item due to taxes, restocking fees, how long it might take to sell, and so on. What this ultimately comes down to is that you control just how much these characters can buy and sell. They can only buy items if they have the coin, and they can only get the coin that you give them, or a lesser value for selling items they don't want. Become more stringent with money. At some point, the money runs out, and selling hard-earned loot for half its value stops being so fun. Do you really want to lose effectively 2,000 gold crowns for selling that +2 axe, or do you want to maybe put it to some use and come out more powerful than you would have buying some weaker item with the proceeds? If players decline to ever sell their equipment yet still expect to find new equipment, you can accommodate them by destroying their equipment. Enemies can sunder weapons and armor; a number of spells, magical effects or environmental hazards can deal damage to and potentially break anything exposed to them. This isn't being vengeful; it's being a good GM. [I remember watching Critical Role and over many episodes, perhaps the most traumatic and thrilling experience the players had (apart from character deaths) was when their beloved flying carpet was eaten by acid or lava or something. But it was a natural consequence of their actions, and they took it in stride, as they should.]

Finally, as with all things, you are the law. I always, always recommend talking with your players, either individually or as a table if needed, to tackle either your own frustrations or those of one or more players. But if push comes to shove, it's your game. You (presumably) respect the players by coming up with adventures, scenarios, NPCs, locations and all sorts of other stuff for them to tackle in a manner you expect to be fun. If they refuse to respect your preparation time and the time you spend at the table, by insisting to engage in continuous, pointless NPC discussions despite you expressing your dissatisfaction, then tell them you can't do it anymore. It isn't fun for you, and if the only way that they can have fun is in a way that is directly contradictory to you having fun, the game isn't going to work, period. If they sincerely change, fantastic; try to accommodate their need for shopping when you can and get on with the grand story at other times. If they refuse to change, leave them and get another table. That last part isn't always easy to do, and depending on your area, it might take a while to get another game going, but often a table where you're not having fun (and working hard to do it) is worse than no table at all. I wish you luck.

[thedoralian]

A Conversation With Doral Council Candidate Oscar Puig

As part of our election 2020 coverage, we are conducting interviews with all candidates for local office that have chosen to accept our interview request. All candidates have been contacted. Oscar Puig is a 20 year resident of Doral, a vital part of its founding, and an active leader and participant in many of the city’s civic organizations. He is running for Doral Council Seat #3. Oscar endorses J.C. Bermudez for Mayor and Claudia Mariaca for Council Seat #1. He has been endorsed by J.C. Bermudez. In this article, The Doralian is proud to present it’s first interview. Let us know what you think! If you have any questions please DM. Please like, comment, and share! *This is not an endorsement*

Interview Transcript

Doralian: So, I want to start off by talking about your platform. Here at The Doralian, our goal is to inform the public. Unfortunately, many voters struggle to understand the stances brought by candidates for local office. Could you highlight maybe 2-4 pillars of your campaign that you want voters to know?

“1) Number 1, I would call continuation. We have built a wonderful city. Since I was involved in the creation of the city, I was one of the co-founders and we saw how the city deteriorated and zoning changes were made (before the city's incorporation and during Luigi Boria's mayorship) that weren’t supposed to be made and that's one of the things that I want to prevent. So, the continuation of these last four and the previous ones during JC's first years in office I think is important to maintain and have somebody that has the time invested like I do in the city for many years. That's one.

2) I think that with this pandemic, we will see a difficult time ahead of us because of budget shortfalls, as a lot of people are without a job. That's going to affect a lot of projects because of property taxes. People losing their homes. So I hope to be a voice to find solutions to help our residents, our business, so that if affected, we continue to ask the federal government, the state, and the county, for funds to help the citizens and the small businesses.

3) I am also big on two other things. One of them is small business. Aside and before the pandemic I was supported by 15 good, small sized business that have been here for a long time and I see that there's got to be a movement to help and facilitate the process of the city, which already started, I know that JC announced in their state of the union, several things that are going to help the small businesses and streamline the processes of the city, and I want to support that and make sure that small business can also do marketing events with the city. Marketing strategies with the city that can help them grow and ultimately push the theme that will help people understand that they can eat here, that they can play here, that they could have a good nightlife here, they can eat here. It's changed a lot, so you don't have to drive anywhere else. So, if we can, as a city, start a movement to keep people to spend within the city, they will help small businesses a lot.

4) The last one is the special needs and the elderly programs. I support them 100% and anything we can do to make them better. In the city of Doral, we have a lot of participants in Special Olympics. We have a great special needs program and I want to support them and the elderly of course, our most vulnerable, especially during these times when they're alone. So, look for ways that we can, even if it's digitally, help them not be alone and satisfy whatever needs they have.“

Doralian: The reason I’ve invited you here today is to try to highlight some of the distinctions between you and other candidates. My next question is, whether it involves your qualifications or policy stances, what makes you different from the other candidates?

“I don't think I like to talk about my differences with others. I'd like to say that my experience within the city, I've been involved since the year 2000, in many, many ways with schools, with the parks, with the city committees, selection committees, park director selection committees, and years back the city attorney selection committees. Important committees that I've participated in to service our community with my family and their families in mind. Just making sure that, like I said before, that we have a good transparent and effective government that represents the best interests of the residents at large, whether they vote or not. It's important to represent everybody and that the city is in good shape. My qualifications are my experience and dedication that I've given for the last 20 years to our city.”

Doralian: What is your individual take on the city’s public transportation system? What direction must the city turn to improve its public transportation infrastructure?

“As a city, for 20 years, we’ve done a lot to improve, but at the same time, we went from 20,000 to almost 70,000 residents, plus the 100,000 when we include all the people that come in and out of the city to work. It’s a positive, because we have a good base of employment and a good base of residents but at the same time it creates that whole complicated issue of traffic. I therefore believe that traffic is not just a Doral issue, I believe that Doral and every city in Miami Dade County and the County has to sit down and start looking for solutions of mass transit. Expand the rail. The growth we have had as an entire county has not been followed by investment needed in mass transportation. So, if we think of Doral only, we are not going to solve it, because when Palmetto and Turnpike are, you know, a bottleneck, there's hundreds of thousands of vehicles stuck there for hours, it's going to ripple down into the city because people cannot get on the highway, so then eventually creating traffic within the city. That's where we see most of the traffic, when people are going to get on the highway. And when you look at Doral during the weekend, we have very little traffic, if any, which is a great thing for us. So it's all created by this large base of businesses and residents that we have that are active during the week. So, I think this is a regional problem and we have to look at it that way, but continue to invest as a city: opening streets like we've done many, many times, we're now going to open 25th street to the turnpike, an exit and an entrance, so that's going to help traffic on 41st and 12th, even as high as 74th street. The major problem is regional, we have to make sure that we start investing in that and I want to be a loud voice to bring that to the table.”

Doralian: So, you mentioned rail for a second there and one mayoral candidate has proposed lobbying the county to bring rail to Doral. Do you support the expansion of Miami-Dade's Metrorail to Doral?

“I support it anywhere it goes. We will have to look at where and how, of course, those are things that are important, but in general, yes, that's what I'm talking about when I speak of mass transportation. But more than that I think Kendall area, a train from Kendall to the East and to the North is important, these are areas that are very effective because of the lack of mass transportation. Because we have rail here in Doral and some of our residents do take it. We have now a bus system that goes straight from the new area by 12th street all the way to downtown and those are great solutions. We need to continue this.”

Doralian: My next question is an attempt to understand what kind of development you would encourage while in office. I'd like to ask, in your vision of a future Doral, what does the city look like to you? Does it look more urban? Is there more mixed-use development like CityPlace or Downtown Doral in which residential districts are heavily mixed with entertainment districts? Or does it look more suburban, more classical Doral-like? Something like Doral Isles or Islands at Doral.

“That's what I'm talking about when I talk of a master plan. There's going to be areas that are going to be preserved as the more suburban, which is the West side of Doral, even though there was an application that was approved on 107th and 74th that brought some buildings. But still, now it's back on track, like the mayor says, so that shouldn't happen anymore. We have a good master plan now that prevents things like that from happening. I support that masterplan, we have to tweak it but yes, on the east side I support what's going on with Downtown Doral and CityPlace because one of the things that's going to prevent the traffic is the presence of an area where you can live, work, play, and learn. It's important because you don't have to get out and get in the car to do grocery shopping like it happens in Downtown Doral or take your kids to school or any of that. You know, you don't have to get out of that area at all. As a resident, you have it all there. That's a solution to traffic. People like it. I think a lot about the people that live in those areas and they enjoy it a lot. It's an easier life when you don't have to drive somewhere to eat or take the kids to school. I would embrace those.

Doralian: What specific policy proposals do you suggest for the city to help local struggling businesses?

I think again we have to find a balance, I think we are at a balance right now where you can go out and make sure that we continue to protect ourselves but at the same time closing businesses I don't think is the right solution. I think we have to, again, have a balance, make sure that businesses and people are following the CDC guidelines and whether they're in or outside the city. So, to me it’s important to have the economy moving because it could be a disaster later on to have the economy affected. But at the same time, we need to be proactive in getting involved and being part of the solution.

Doralian: Are there any candidates for the other local elections that you would like to endorse?

Yes, Claudia Mariaca and J.C. Bermudez

Doralian: Any closing comments? Is there anything you want residents of our city to know?

Yes, there is something that to me is very important. It's participation not only when you go out and vote but also participate as a resident in many ways and hopefully things will go back to normal soon and you can participate as a resident. Doing something that adds value to the city, to the residents, being part of the committees, getting involved with the parks, non-profits, the Chamber of Commerce, we are now going to have a Doral Contemporary Art Museum. See what's going on, the schools, the PTA, that's how I started, with the Chamber. To start getting involved and bringing solutions to the city I think is very important. I'm more than open to helping and guiding everyone that is interested in coming on board and knowing what I did and how I did it so they can do it better.

[justsomebee]

Oda Army, Ranked (Part 1)

Really just a pointless ranking of my favorite army in the entire game of Samurai Warriors. I say my favorite army because most of my favorite characters are in this army, and because most of them deserved better (ahem, NENE). But keep in mind that these are my own biased opinions, and you shouldn't take this seriously. Anyways, here we go :3

"...Is that so?"

Nobunaga Oda: One of the great three unifiers of Japan, and the Devil King of the Sixth Heaven. Easily one of my top five characters, and also my second favorite male character. I'm pretty sure anyone who has common sense admires Nobunaga, and it really isn't hard to see why. Sure his methods may be a little...out there, but his ideals are refreshing for a man of his age. Get rid of the old and archaic world and usher in a new world where everyone can be productive and progressive based on their own merit. Wonderful. He's Nohime's husband, and these two are easily the power couple of SW and you can fight me on that. He's Oichi's older brother, that poor poor woman who gave birth to that bitch Lady Yodo, and oh, we'll get to that. Also, I'm really into the dark, evil warlord type shit as well. The whole Demon King is fantastic for me. His SW2 incarnation is my favorite, simply because of that voice. Oof.

Daddy: (11/10)

"To hell for good, if necessary."

Nohime: Just want to start off by saying that if Nohime was born in modern times, she would be the only woman I would go lesbian for. Just saying. Anyways, Nohime Saito is the daughter of Dosan Saito and Nobunaga's wife. She's my second favorite female character and easily the most prettiest, and you can actually fight me on that too, Oichi is not prettier than her. Ahem, she's a lovely femme fatale who seeks only one thing, a perfect hell. And who can bring that to her? Nobunaga himself. At first, I found their relationship to be a little weird, since Nohime wants to...kill him? I dunno, it's all so screwy in the titles. In SW2 she doesn't, but in SW3 she does, and in SW1 she says that she'll feel cheated if he dies at Okehazama and I just...I dunno. They're still a badass couple though. I'm actually really in love with her moveset, I love the whole butterfly aesthetic. Her SW2 incarnation is also my favorite because of her voice as well. Some people say it's too high for her, and it is a little, but I love the lilt in the VA's voice. It fits her.

Wifey: (11/10)

"Such weak enemies...who's feeding them anyways?"

Nene: My favorite overall character, and the best female character in the game by a country mile. Nene is the sweet, sweet, wife of Hideyoshi Toyotomi, and they love each other dearly, but she never bore him children. She becomes the surrogate mother to Kiyomasa Kato, Masanori Fukushima and Mitsunari Ishida. She also replaces Kunoichi's role in the second title as female ninja and does a pretty good job of it too, her moveset (even though it's...kinda the same) kicks ass as well. But the reason I like Nene is the whole mother thing. She can't have any of her own, but she still remains upbeat and supports Hideyoshi in spite of that. Good lord, she's so devoted to him it's really amazing, even in history. One of the things I like about these two is that even through their ups and downs in history, they remained together. Hideyoshi still loved his wife in spite of his cheating (and it...unfortunately wasn't considered cheating back then, men were allowed to have other lovers) and constantly sought her council. He wrote her letters, telling her what happened during campaigns, sought her advice with taxes and actually followed it. Her devotion to Hideyoshi is easily one of the best and worst things to me, best when you consider that they were both peasants when they married and they actually married for love and she supported his career through everything. Worst when you consider that because she couldn't have any children, Hideyoshi sought attention from other women, and that hurt her. Side note, one of the best reasons I love Nobunaga is because of the letter he gave to Nene, telling her that her beauty grows day by day and to remain lofty and elegant in the face of Hideyoshi's cheating. Lovely. Her SW2 is by far my favorite, her SW4 incarnation is my second and we don't talk about SW3. Giving my mother that voice, hell no. I also like the golden leaf aesthetic. It's cute.

Mama: 1000000000000/10 (yes I'm biased.)

"Serves you right for getting in my way!"

Hideyoshi Toyotomi: One of the three great unifiers of Japan, Nobunaga's vassal and personal pet monkey, and Nene's beloved husband. Throwing out the whole womanizing thing out for a hot second, I actually really like Hideyoshi. His story is really inspiring, rising up from Nobunaga's sandal bearer to his vassal, to actually unifying Japan is amazing. He's charming, funny, his moveset is fucking fun, if a little awkward, and unlike other lords who have concubines, he really really loves his wife. Anyways, I really don't have much to say about Hideyoshi. I like him, I really do, he's in my top ten characters, but other than that, there's not really much to say. I love his easygoing personality, and to be honest, I think that's what make him and Nene such a great couple. They're the kind of parents who would always show up to your piano recitals, Nene would pack your lunch, they would both dance awkwardly if you played some rap music in the kitchen...stuff like that. Not much to say about Mr.Monkey, I love his vision of 'making a land where everyone can be happy' it's nice. Lady Yodo can bite it though.

Bald Rat: (9/10)

Okay, that's enough for now. I'll do Oichi, Ranmaru, Nagamasa (not really apart of the Oda army, but he's Oichi's husband so I can,) and that fucking Traitor. Ta ta!

[narutosideblog]

Long vent. My holiday ends on saturday and as soon as I get home I'll have to immediately take care of so many things that I just want to go awol and live on my parents' sofa forever. My cat is sick and needs to go to the vet asap, I'll have to take time off work and pay £££ for it. I'll have to clean the house since it will be full of cat hair and cat poop from my sick cat. I'll need to get quotes for window replacements since I have single glazed windows. In Scotland. The winter is going to fuck me. And the price for new windows doubly so. I'll need to get the bathroom renovations going too. I'll have to take out a massive loan for the repairs and I won't have any savings for the next couple of years unless I get a second job. University starts in a couple of weeks and i haven't even looked at my timetable or reading list yet. I'll have to go to the gym and therapy. I'll need to check up on the repairs to my building after the builders fucked up an external wall last year. I'll need to fight the council on the bills for those repairs since it was council contractors who fucked up the wall in the first place. I'll have to pay for cleaning the gutters. I'll have to call the council about incorrect council tax bills and most likely i'll have to repay them about 300 quid. By this point i'll have to clean the house again. Then find a wedding present for my friends aside from the £££ i'll be giving them, find something to wear, and fly to the wedding. Sell my desk and buy a new one, and organise delivery. Tidy up the garden. I'll need to be feeding myself as well, but I don't know how I'll find the time or energy to cook. And I'll need to go to work and do overtime since I'm about four hours down. That's not counting all the things I still have to do on holiday: dentist, doctor, visiting grandma, etc. I'll be skint and dead on my feet, and in so much stress that I don't even know where to start dealing with it. Not a month goes by without something stupid happening, I can't get any rest even on holiday. Anyway.

[gold3nladybug]

Let's build a Legacy Deck

I do a lot of thinking about magic; you've possibly realised that, since I post long diatribes about what the game means to me on a somewhat regular basis. However, I'm not really very... let's say creative in how I approach the game. I'm not looking to explore new ground, I'm mostly trying to be as good at this game as I possibly can be. I'm pretty competitive, but my motivation isn't really winning - it's more about improving.

Legacy is a beautiful format. Not just the cards themselves, but the complexity, diversity and unbelievable skill ceilings that you can strive to attain playing these cards. I always feel like there is so much more I can learn, so many things I can improve. The level of mastery that could be achieved with these cards is seemingly endless.

So it is only fitting that we start here:

Mercadian Masques is the best Brainstorm. Don't @ me.

Now, beyond that, it's actually not that easy to branch out too far. There is a very real, very challenging financial barrier to playing this amazing format (and indeed all non-rotating formats share this problem to some degree). I own a handful of blue duals, and that unlocks a certain subset of the format for me. I bought them over the course of a year or so, and they were much, much cheaper than they are now. I doubt I'll ever be able to justify buying more, and since I don't have the quantity of duals necessary for some decks, and I own zero Tropical Islands, that subset actually isn't that large. I also don't really own any of the cards to play non-brainstorm decks - no Death & Taxes, no Eldrazipost, no Lands, no Quinn the Eskimo (yup, that's a real deck name. Give it a google, its delightful).

So, I own Tundras. That means that in Legacy, I'm pretty much always playing Miracles. My collection supports that. But that isn't really where I think I wanna be right now

Beautiful.

Stoneblade has had a bit of a renaissance recently, putting up good finishes at a high level because someone recently decided "I think I should play Death's Shadow in Legacy" and almost won the Pro Tour. Decks that play white mana have a pretty solid answer to that, and Stoneblade's ability to switch strategies between defender and aggressor is really valuable. I loved Miracles with Sensei's Divining Top, but the deck was a problem, and without that card it can't always claim inevitably. You need to win the game somehow, and Batterskull is a pretty solid somehow. But it can't do it alone.

Here's the rest of the team.

Snapcaster Mage is a ridiculous magic card. There are a lot of good instants and sorceries, y'all. In a format like legacy, though, playing the full four copies can sometimes be a liability, especially if you don't have cards like Lightning Bolt that can let you convert excess mages into a noncommittal, one size fits all kinda spell. All the cards I have are pretty specialized, and Snapcaster Mage can be all of them. Absolutely wild. I hear Tiago Chan, the winner of the invitational that led to this card, became a professional wrestler.

Wild.

Jace, the Mind Sculptor set the gold standard for what a Planeswalker could be. It feels like a privilege to be able to play with this card sometimes. One thing that I find interesting, is that in my experience I am vastly more willing to +2 Jace as my main plan than others. I get that Brainstorming is awesome and all, but the elevator going up is pretty cool too. It doesn't create numerical advantage, but using Jace's fate seal can create a lot of qualitive advantage and also let's you use an ability that wins the game. I'm a fan.

Vendilion Clique, though, might just be one of my favourite magic cards. It does a whole lot of very cool things, the most important of which to me is create informational asymmetry. This game would be a lot easier if you knew all the cards your opponent had, and usually that means you have to play cards like Thoughtseize. But that card is gross. Also, don't sleep on using Clique to send one of your own cards away, especially if that card is an equipment that you can find with your stoneforge mystic.

Lastly, we have True-Name Nemesis. This card isn't always good, but when it is it's the best card in your deck. If creatures attacking or blocking matters in a game, there is no card that does either that is better for its cost than TNN. My copies are the only cards in my deck that are altered or signed, and I normally like having things be really consistent in my constructed decks, but you can see Zack Stella's beautiful signature. Can you blame me?

So that is how I'm going to win. How am I going to not lose?

Death's Shadow matches up so poorly against Swords to Plowshares, like damn. My pick for the most outrageous removal spell of all time, even with Assassin's Trophy coming down the pipeline, Swords to Plowshares solves so many problems. A lot of this post is just me gushing about these cards, and I understand that might not be the most engaging thing to read, but I really do just love so many of them.

The rest of these spells are broadly about patching holes up. One of the amazing things about Brainstorm is that you get to see a lot of cards each game, so having a few discrete answers to unusual problems can pay a lot of dividends. Council's Judgment and Enginnered Explosives can answer weird permanents that might otherwise beat me, and Supreme Verdict (though sometimes weird in a deck that wants to put creatures on the battlefield) will occasionally just bail you out. And while it might sound funny, it really is relevant that it is blue sometimes.

This is also the best counterspell art. Still don't @ me.

Force of Will is a bit of a weird card, because in a perfect world I wouldn't even want to play it. It is clunky, puts you down cards a lot of the time and is a massive hassle to play for retail. But also, sometimes Force is the only thing standing between you and rampant degeneracy. People play Belcher in this format! It is the glue that holds the format together.

And then we get to this, and I start to question if I actually know what I'm doing. Sometimes I make these really calculated choices, trying to eke out the smallest possible advantage. Other times I think to myself "yeah, that seems right" and this is one of those times. Flusterstorm is a really powerful, versatile piece of interaction that comes with inbuilt protection and scales throughout the turn. Great with Snapcaster Mage, but absolutely worthless some of the time. People play Chalice of the Void in this format!

Spell Snare is hyper specialized, but it does a lot of things that Flusterstorm can't. There are a legion of incredibly powerful, diverse threats that exist at 2cmc in this format; Baleful Strix, Hymn to Tourach, Tarmogoyf, Sylvan Library, enemy Snapcaster Mage, Counterbalance, Exhume, Infernal Tutor, etc, etc. Snare stops them all cold, but only them.

Spell Pierce is the middle ground, the bridge between two entirely different points of view. It's kinda boring, but its pretty okay at standing in for both of the other's jobs. Spell Pierce never wins employee of the month, but I hope it knows I appreciate it.

One last spell in the main deck, and its Search for Azcanta.

X marks the Spot! I play with checklist cards almost exclusively for any DFC cards that I use, even if I'm 100% sure the sleeves I'm using are completely opaque. It is way better to be safe than sorry, and I also like not needing to actually take my card out of the sleeve to flip it when I can have the real card off to the side in an inner to place on the board when I need it.

Once, when I was playing two Azcanta in a standard deck, I asked my teammate if I should have two Azcanta sleeved, one flipped and one not, because I couldn't actually have two in the same state on the battlefield. They looked like they wanted to slap me.

After that is just lands, and you probably don't want to see that...

Who are we kidding, the lands in a legacy deck are beautiful

I'm really proud of my legacy manabase.

This is also one of those examples of those really calculated choices, optimising for the smallest possible advantages. It turns out that you're only allowed to play four Flooded Strand, and after that NONE of the fetches get both basic Island and basic Plains. Normally this means a couple of Scalding Tarns, or whatever other blue fetch you have a few copies of, but why not extract the tiniest, most infinitesimal fraction of an advantage. What if they Pithing Needle Scalding Tarn? What if they're monsters who cast Surgical Extractions on random targets to see if they getcha? Well you're not going to get me, because I have insulated myself by playing three different blue fetches and an Arid Mesa.

Otherwise, Karakas is a lovely tech land against any sort of reanimator strategy, while also unlocking all sorts of fun play patterns with Vendilion Clique. Wasteland is playing in a similar space, being a low investment singleton that can be really good in some matchups, but I don't know if I like it. I might play an extra basic over it, we'll see.

But wait, I hear you asking, why are you playing Volcanic Island. You don't have any red cards!

Entirely fair question.

All the way from the sideboard, red cards.

As you might have gathered, there are some pretty amazing blue cards in legacy. I'm not one to let people just get away with playing blue cards. It's a little weird to have a 2/1 split of red blast effects, but it's just one of those micro optimizations. Sometimes they'll have a meddling mage naming Pyroblast, you know? Also, on my wishlist is a black border red elemental blast of some description. My pyroblasts just look so much prettier.

Also I guess I lied about TNN being the only signed card I play. But again, just look at Franz Vohwinkel's signature. Impossible to turn it down.

The rest of the sideboard is pretty easy to break down. A Hydroblast, because we can't let people get away with playing red cards either. An extra Flusterstorm, because it's just a fantastic card that usually gets better after sideboard. People usually have pretty good spells in their decks, and stopping Flusterstorm from countering those spells can be pretty challenging. Disenchant is a pretty good hedge a lot of the time, for a similar reason. People tend to have some high impact enchantments or artifacts kicking around, so I usually want a cheap way to fight that available to me. Containment Priest and the two Surgical Extractions are a concession to the speed and power of reanimation strategies, that also happen to have some really good splash damage against other really powerful strategies. I kind of want to make room for a Rest in Peace, but for now these will serve. Monastery Mentor is just one of those cards that, in a post sideboard game where a lot of the removal is gone and Pyroblasts imperil the battlefield and stack, can take over a game with extreme speed and quickly end it. It could also be something like a Gideon, Ally of Zendikar, but there's value in dodging Spell Pierce.

So the only part of this that might be a bit weird is the Spell Queller, Counterbalance package. My thinking is, coming from Miracles, that Counterbalance is sometimes an exceedingly powerful card. And sometimes it's pretty janky. It's hard to truly cut it from the main deck there, because it helps enable so many of the soft synergies in the deck (revealing for Predict, making all the cantrips that much better, finding spots to crack fetch lands for extra value), even though the times that it's bad it is so bad. But here, I've almost got the same amount of cantripping and deck manipulation as I would in Miracles, but my main proactive gameplan is strong enough that I don't need them in my main deck. It's a perfect card to slide into the sideboard, where I can access it both as a value engine for blue pseudo-mirrors and a desperate tool to fight combo as well.

Spell Queller was a card I considered for Vendilion Clique's spot for a long time. They are approximately as vulnerable as each other in the context of the format, but eventually the inability to profitably play it for value proactively gave Clique the nod. But the other main three drop I play kept me thinking about it. When it matters, TNN is exceptional. But when it's bad, there's nothing you want less; True Name feels like such a brick if your opponent is doing something degenerate. It's an easy swap in those situations for this powerful reactive spirit. Like Mentor, dodging Flusterstorm and Spell Pierce is a huge deal in winning counter wars while also transitioning into an aggressive stance. So many important cards are vulnerable to being quelled, and I'm honestly quite excited to play with it.

So... there you have it. That's my legacy deck. It's not perfect, and I'm sure before too long I'll end up putting Terminus back in here and going back to Miracles. It's hard to change decks in Legacy, and not just because of the price. These cards really do feel special, like you're playing with important pieces in the history of a really great, really important game. I hope I get to keep playing Legacy for a long, long time.

[jazzraft]

your fics never fail to brighten my day. you're an amazing writer! if you don't mind, can I request a fic on how you would interpret prompto's first day training with cor would go when he joins the crownsguard for the first time? I always imagine cor thinking prompto doesn't have what it takes, until he eventually grows to respect him and his skills.

thank you for the compliment, anon! it makes my day to make your day =) enjoy!

Cor’s first thought when he met Prompto was, Well… I’ve started with worse.

As he began training him though, that thought was becomingmore and more dishonest.

Prompto was a scrappy, stick of a thing, standing sostraight for his initial inspection that Cor was half-certain he might snap inhalf at the waist if he so much as poked the kid in the forehead. He was allskin and bones, gangly limbs and tender muscle. He took care of himself though –he wasn’t worrisomely thin nor overweight. But he was unrefined, relativelyordinary, not unlike most of the new recruits Cor was sometimes tasked withinitiating into the Crownsguard.

Cor needed to get a little muscle on him, blood him a bit;the standard fare. He fully expected that Prompto could be molded into a goodrecruit – at least decent enough not to get himself killed the first day out onthe line of duty. Cor just needed to whip him into shape, same as the rest.

The Marshal quickly realized that it wasn’t Prompto’smusculature that was going to be the problem.

“Hit me.”

“What? No! I can’t do that…”

“I’m an Imperial assassin that you’ve just seen pull a knifeon Councilman Ferrinas on his way to his car. If you don’t hit me right now, Sir Ferrinas is going to bleedout in the parking garage, the Archades district is going to lose a much belovedlord, and the King’s table is going to be missing one of its most supportivechairs on the Council. Hit me.”

This was a new one, even for Cor. He’d learned to expectlessons on how to temper violence outof a recruit, not urge it into them.People often came into the Crownsguard raw with nervous energy. Usually, theirfirst impulse was to hit something. Usually, they were looking for an outletfor some deeply embedded anger at something or another – faulted patriotism, emotionalinsignificance, traumatically reduced self-confidence; you name it.

Cor had gotten good at training those furies, using them tomold a Crownsguard out of a greenhorn. He’d seen a lot of chips on hunchedshoulders, thwarted a lot of revenge fantasies once out in the field, kept agreat deal of the downtrodden and the spiteful from running straight intosuicide raids; he’d grown accustomed to violent tendencies and he knew how tohumble them. He knew how to take that rage and teach it into honor.

He wasn’t nearly as sure of how to plant that seed of angerfrom scratch.

“Knife’s getting closer,” Cor goaded. “Are you really goingto let me take him away from his husband? His kids? Are you really prepared tostand at his funeral, surrounded by those grieving faces, and knowing you couldhave done something about it?”

Prompto’s lip quivered, and Cor was just about ready toschedule a luncheon with Regis to bemoan his son’s recommendation to put a snifflingchild into Crownsguard training.

But the tremble was just a hairline fracture; an innatebreach of confidence slipping through the cracks before Prompto clutched down andbridled it. His mouth firmed into a decided grimace. The dewy-eyed horror inhis gaze solidified, tempering itself just long enough to reach the resolve heneeded to dart forward and punch.

At last. But too late.

Cor listed to the side. Prompto went careening into thedust.

“Well, you’ve distracted me long enough that if Sir Ferrinaswas feeling brave he could try and disarm me. But he’s still put in criticalcondition at Archades General, being overseen by the best care the district’staxes can pay for. I got away, the Council’s in turmoil, and you’ve either beendischarged or demoted. The former, if Clarus is bound to have his way.”

Not even with the mockery did Prompto get angry. He didn’tpunch the dirt or lash back or justify his failure with a “if I could just” ora “well, if you hadn’t” or a “I just need another chance.” Cor had heard achocobo ranch’s weight in shit of excuses.

But Prompto just got up, ducked his head, and simply said,“I’ll be better.”

Rarely, if ever, had Cor heard that.

—

Prompto’s greatest weakness was his mercy.

It was hard for him to hurt people. For the first few monthsof training – and Cor took it upon himself to work with him, if not by theinsistence of Noct’s pout, then by the fact that any other trainer wouldn’thave the patience for him – Prompto would seize up the instant he realized thatall he needed to win a spar was to deliver the “killing blow.” Every time, thatmoment of hesitation got him “killed”instead.

Outside of combat, Cor admired him for that compulsion.Prompto wasn’t driven by his carnal impulses, but his kinder ones. He sidled upto his sparring partner after a match with an ice-pack, a water bottle, and acompliment to the other’s ability, often self-deprecating to himself. He wasthe first on the scene with an emergency kit if a senior Crownsguard barked forhelp over the injured body of a trainee that failed to land a correct kick. Hejumped to his feet the instant he noticed someone struggling with a heavy load– moving exercise equipment, delivering file boxes, exchanging cleaningsupplies.

He was a good person.

But good people didn’t make great Crownsguard.

“I would lay down my life for Noct,” Prompto assured him oneday, catching his breath on the benches from another match he’d failed to win.“If it was him or me, I’d throw myself in front of a bullet if I had to!”

“There’s no question about that,” Cor agreed. “But the coreprinciple of the Crownsguard is right there in the name. Guard the Crown. That means seeing and stopping the danger beforeeven the King knows he’s in it. It’s about saving him in time, not gettingthere too late. That goes for the both of you. You want to die for your King,but only when there’s no other choice. And in all of your scenarios, you’vebeen choosing to die when you have the option to live and guard the Kinganother day. All you have to do is fight back.”

Prompto scraped at the label around his water bottle,watching his peers tackle each other down to the mats. Some of them were stillvery rough around the edges, roaring as raggedly as the paper edges he waspicking at when they landed a practiced blow. Short of putting Prompto upagainst an MT assassin, Cor doubted he could inspire the same ferocity out ofhim. Not against one of his comrades.

The next day, Cor had nearly decided to terminate Prompto’straining as an official member of the Crownsguard to instead serve Noctis ascasual a capacity as he had up until. It’d probably get him killed, and thatleft a sour taste in Cor’s mouth if he thought about it for too long, but hewas at his wit’s end trying to get the kid onto the level he needed to be towear the mantle of Crownsguard.

He never did rejections in person. Usually he just signedhis approval for a subordinate to do the discharging if a recruit didn’t makethe cut. Usually he didn’t train a cadet personally, if not because he wasduty-bound elsewhere from the Citadel, if because – if Regis was to be believed– he got “too attached, too easily.” Suffice it to say, he was steeling himselffor a tough conversation at the end of this session. Tougher still when he sawhow eager the kid’s smile was.

“Okay! I’ve totally got this today! I promise.”

Cor marked his skepticism with a raised brow. Prompto wasn’tdeterred, instead puffing up his chest and bouncing out his knees and readyinghis fists to defend the hypothetical noble. Cor tried to convince himself thatit wasn’t favoritism that wanted the kid to succeed.

He put forward the scenario – a visiting dignitary fromAccordo, her continental breakfast at the Leville ruined by a terrorist holdingher at gunpoint. He even allowed Prompto the upper hand – the assailant didn’tyet know that a Crownsguard was present, Prompto was in civvies at the cornertable so as to catch any would-be attackers off-guard.

Prompto was actually very good at stealth. He had a lightstep and was quick to the draw – figuratively and literally; they’d recentlydiscovered that he was most adept at firearms – as well as he was unassumingand small enough not to seem a threat to the enemy. Disarming the terroristwouldn’t be a problem for him. Separating the dignitary from their grasp wouldn’tbe a problem for him, either. It was what he did with the terrorist when he hadhim in his grasp wherein the issue lay. Most enemies would not show him thesame mercy that he was intent on showing them.

Cor was expecting the usual. He expected Prompto to crawl inclose like he had taught him to, get him in a headlock first to try and chokehim unconscious and bring him in for questioning before realizing that he wasgoing to put up more of a fight. He would play that he would rather die than betaken prisoner by Lucis, and if Prompto gave him the choice, he would take bothhim, the dignitary, and anyone else unfortunate enough to be in the way of hisbullet with him.

To his surprise, Prompto didn’t come in close like he’d beentrained to do. Instead, he put some distance between them, staying in Cor’sblind spot, and just when he thought he was clear to pull the trigger on hisimaginary hostage, he felt a sharp pang against the back of his head.

“Headshot!” Prompto crowed. “You’re dead.”

Cor rubbed the back of his head where the blank had bouncedoff, turning to scrutinize Prompto and the practice gun he was getting used to.Prompto smiled, and his voice was excited at achieving the gold, but there wasno pride to his eyes for taking a hypothetical life. Cor wasn’t sure how hecould criticize him for that. Before he could try, Prompto spoke.

“I know, I know. There might be situations where I don’thave this.” He spun the revolver in his hand, giving his fingers something todo – a nervous tick. “And if that ever happens, I won’t hesitate to do what Ihave to save Noct or the King or anyone. But, um… I’m not like…” His eyesskittered to Cor’s face, then back down again. “I can’t watch the life drainout of a person’s eyes up close like that. From a distance… it’s not perfect,but it’s the best I can do. Is that enough?”

Cor honestly couldn’t tell him. Despite how rigorous thetraining was, despite covering every possible scenario that had beenencountered in the past or could possibly be encountered in the future, therewas just no predicting what could happen in the field. There were no assurancesthat one way was the best way to survive. There was no way to be sure thateveryone would make it out alive whether a Crownsguard put himself in the lineof fire or not.

Sometimes, nothing was enough. But the fact that Prompto waswilling to compromise with himself, willing to take the shot and try topreserve his soul, knowing that his mercy was both weakness and strength and hehad to learn to live with that duality…

Cor placed a hand on Prompto’s shoulder.

“It’s better.”

[gwendolyngreene]

For those of you who don't play the Jurassic World mobile game

So I recently completed a series of quests in the game that included a few cut scenes of Claire and Owen discussing his time in the Navy, so I thought I would share it.

FIRST, a couple disclaimers: 1. I didn’t screenshot every single dialogue window, only the ones that were factually important. 2. Keep in mind the game operates in an AU that’s similar to the film, but has quite a few noticeable plot differences. But I thought this bit of Owen’s backstory was interesting and worth sharing.

[Backstory: Hoskins has been digging into Owen’s past, including his time in the Navy. He discovers something and immediately goes to Claire with the information. (I think he’s trying to get Owen off the Raptor project IBRIS but his motives haven’t been stated yet so I can’t be sure.)]

HOSKINS: Owen’s presence poses a risk to our operations. Did you know, that prior to joining Jurassic World, he spent time in military prison?

HOSKINS: I checked. He didn’t remain in the Navy for very long. At the end of his tour, he was issued a discharge by a general court-martial...

HOSKINS: ...for bad conduct.

[Claire confronts Owen and he promises to tell her everything, but they need to talk in private. She agrees to hear him out.]

OWEN: First, you need to know that my military discharge is false: It never actually happened.

(I’m just going to transcribe the rest of the conversation to keep this post as short as possible.)

OWEN: In the Navy, I was a part of MK 9, a human-animal cell in the Marine Mammal program for naval operations. Real black budget stuff.

CLAIRE: You’re talking about handling dolphins for the army? Yeah, I knew about that.

OWEN: Not just dolphins. We trained whales, sharks, sea lions, anything with a tail and flippers that might give us an edge underwater.

OWEN: During the Iraq War in 2003, we deployed dolphin teams into the Persian Gulf to remove enemy mines that prevented our fleet from entering. 

OWEN: It was supposed to be a textbook mine hunt... 

[...Claire and Owen talk while walking around the paddocks...]

OWEN: MK 9 began marking tethered or buried sea mines on the ocean floor. One of them in the group pinged back a small object. Heading straight for us.

OWEN: We read reports that the enemy was sighted in those waters and had destroyed ally supply ships. There wasn’t a whole lot of time to react.

OWEN: After cooler heads prevailed, it turns out it wasn’t a hostile at all. My captain nearly gave the order to fire by mistake.

[...]

OWEN: Even worse, tax dollars were being spent on MK 9 but all handlers on staff knew the one hard truth that none of us wanted to admit...

OWEN: That mammals, especially those recruited and trained by the U.S. military, don’t always make the best type of soldiers.

[...It’s getting late and they’re both hungry, so Owen asks if she wants to go get something to eat. In a stark contrast to how she treated their blind-date-gone-wrong earlier in the story, she accepts. They go to one of the fancier restaurants on the island, and the conversation continues...]

OWEN: I keep replaying what happened that night in my head, wondering if I swam alongside my dolphin team, would things have turned out differently?

[...Claire makes a comment to offer comfort to Owen...]

OWEN: Ha, lot of good that did me. Our team began hearing rumors about an inquiry into MK 9′s lack of efficiency on and off the field.

OWEN: It was grilling, not even remotely fair. After the investigation, word of the incident trickled back up to the top brass. And by then something had to give.

OWEN: The next day, I received orders directly from the desk of the Chief of Naval Operations to shut down and disband MK 9.

OWEN: National Security Council put pressure after news outlets began running stories about ‘defective dolphins’ jeopardizing the mission.

CLAIRE: That was when you were discharged by a court-martial?

OWEN: Not quite. I...uh, volunteered, in a way.

CLAIRE: I don’t understand. You weren’t in any trouble but you allowed yourself to be discharged anyway?

OWEN: MK 9 was my baby. I wasn’t about to let some desk jockey admiral completely tear down years of hard work. Those dolphins depended on me.

OWEN: But shutting down the team meant they no longer had the rights and protection of the Navy. They’d effectively be ejected from the program.

CLAIRE: So what happened? They released the dolphins back into the ocean?

OWEN: Nope. I raised those guys. There was no way they could survive in the wild, not on their own at least. So I made a deal.

[...Claire and Owen finish dinner and leave the restaurant, sharing a walk outside...]

OWEN: I met with the captain and offered to tell the media that we were actually “ramping down” on mammals in favor of something else.

OWEN: With the new presidential administration being installed, we knew we had one trick left up our sleeve: drones. See, the army likes robots.

[...]

OWEN: Lock stock and barrel. It was perfect. Mr. Masrani paid all the expenses to relocate my dolphins in exchange for my services.

OWEN: I was flown out to Isla Nublar almost the next day. Imagine my surprise when I found out I wouldn’t be workin’ with dolphins no more.

CLAIRE: So you got your wish. In the end, you saved your dolphins.

[...Claire and Owen part ways as it is beginning to storm. She goes on with her work, and when Hoskins confronts her again about Owen, she defends him and his work, refusing to take him off the IBRIS project.]

[Bonus: after the storm passes Barry goes looking for Owen, and when he finds him, discovers Owen soaking wet from the rain and munching happily on a bagel, likely still on a high from his time with Claire.]

So? What do you think? Do you like these insights into Owen’s backstory? Remember these are from an AU so you don’t have to like them or accept them. In the meantime, I would like to start an official petition to call Owen’s dolphin team the “Pod Squad”.