#don't get me started on 'lololol the [people you want to stay away from you] aren't gonna care about your DNI'

[angorwhosebabyisthis]

i've been trying to work on getting more specific about criteria i set my boundaries around and adjacent--namely around actionable behaviors as opposed to just things that tend to be accompanied by them, like 'if you engage with me to argue whether a dynamic i consider to be abusive is actually abuse i will block you' instead of just 'if you don't think [X specific dynamic] is abuse DNI.' but man sometimes there are things that are context-specific enough that if you don't specify that particular instance people are unlikely to know what you're talking about.

('if you call pericles a nazi i will block you for holocaust denial, [short summary or link to explanation]' is a personal example that comes to mind. i can name the specific shitty trope--'The Nazis Were Gay is a homophobic myth and it is holocaust denial, cut it out'--but if someone hasn't already made that connection with pericles, they are..... probably not going to unless you lay it out yourself. and it will probably involve a Lot of Context when your DNI is really just not the place to stop for a thousand-word essay about the tropes and framing and character dynamics in a piece of media, even if it's something you're happy to infodump about elsewhere.)

('if [criteria relating to the All Germans are Nazis trope or nazis otherwise getting thrown in for bad guy shock value] i will block you' i think gets closer to the broader issue--because hoooly shit there is so much nastiness that inevitably comes with, once again usually holocaust denial--but i don't even know where i'd start with framing that. 'if you do/don't engage critically with [X]' is a nothingburger and it's worse than useless. but like, chances are VERY good that if your policy is not 'look real fucking hard at the presence of nazis in a piece of media, what it means relative to the other elements of the story, whether invoking them is appropriate or even relevant, and the author's intent in doing so' you are going to have takes i do not want to engage with and think are really shitty to spread.)

and there's also not much nuanced shorthand language around for things like 'if you have [opinion] and didn't realize why it might be shitty before seeing it pointed out, i'll be understanding of that, but if you're going to double down when it's laid out in front of you i will block you.' or, for that matter, 'if you make unsolicited comments about my abuse history while discussing fiction i will bite your fucking head off and post about it publicly on my blog, with url attached. if you don't want that then stay off my goddamn posts and mind your business.'

there's also a really important distinction, i think, between the contexts in which you're laying these boundaries. you can't expect every rando who reblogs a post of yours that got big to click through and read through every single boundary you have to make sure you won't block them, but if they're going to follow you it is much more relevant to them to know if they'll just get blocked (or decide they want to block you). and some person following you to occasionally reblog aesthetics or fanart from a distance is a different level of engagement than someone who might take part in meta discussions on your posts, or draw fanart of your AU, or get in contact with you outside of the platform where you met to make friends. it's reasonable to have different expectations for strangers on the street, people you run into at the coffee shop now and then, and people you invite over to your house.

like.... in general i feel like DNI is just not the right name for it, because that presents a binary that might not always fit. if someone has an opinion i'm bothered by and don't want to engage with directly, but will go 'oh, huh i didn't think of it like that' when seeing an explanation from the outside, that's not a 'never breathe in my direction again' offense to me. if anything i think most people are basically decent and would like to be decent, and it makes me happy to be able to provide someone with the perspective to make an informed choice for how to do that.

as it is you're just kind of boxed into the corner of FUCK OFF GTFO GO AWAY, which is even more unhelpful when it comes to communicating criteria where you Really Fucking Mean It, like 'if you think it's acceptable to tell someone to kill themself then fuck off, fuck all the way off, stay the hell away from me.' that 'gtfo or don't' binary takes away the capacity for that emphasis, and honestly also contributes to the extreme black-and-white toxicity of fandom and internet spaces in general this past decade or so. if 'didn't pick up on a subtle depiction of abuse at first and was kind of insensitive about it' and 'literal suicide baiting' are exactly the same degree of Bad, then either the suicide baiting seems trivial, or people are going to feel Attacked and like they must be a terrible person for any slightly imperfect good-faith thought or opinion they might have, or have just not thought through.

in the latter case, even if they end up going with the Other Opinion(tm) because feeling attacked put them off, fandom these days is a nightmare of systemic abuse which weaponizes that binary. seeing it replicated even from people who are trying to push back against it--even if it's because those people have been pushed into a corner and aggressive Get the Fuck Away from Me is, understandably, all they have left--just reinforces that there is no other model for this, that the abusive framework for how to navigate the world is all there is. i hate the idea of contributing to that, and i wish i weren't having to feel out the alternative by myself while already being so goddamn burned out on the whole thing.

and like.... i think 'boundaries' as a term is definitely getting warmer, but by itself doesn't quite communicate its nature as a Thing for the specific purposes of navigating socmed spaces. just. hm.

[againstacecilia]

Randon

Pairing: Din Djarin x Fem!Reader

Word Count: 2.1k

Rating: 18+ to be safe

Warnings: Slight mention of oral (m receiving), emotional again in a couple ways lol. Also, don't come after me for the overly perfect relationship reader has with her parents, and DEF don't read into what that says about me lololol.

A/N: This is not a drill, we have some feelings starting, folks! Reader faces some people here and we get into the next arc in the next chapter. 👀 Props as always to the incredible human that is @creatively-analytical for beta help. 💖 Asks are always open!!

The landing on Randon was smooth. Your planet, situated in the Mid Rim, was a small one and perfect for unassuming people living unassuming lives. You had lead one of those unassuming lives until only a few weeks ago, when you found out your fiance had taken a bounty hunting job and ran away. In the days since, you had waivered between extreme sadness and clarity on how you wanted your life to change. Now, the only thing you were feeling was trepidation. 

“I have to go meet Tonis, want to meet back here tomorrow morning?” Mando asks on the walk into town. Your feet feel like lead and grow heavier with each step closer to the conversations you’ll have to have today. 

“Could we meet back tonight? I don’t want to stay here any longer than I have to.”

“I’ve got some things I need to take care of before we leave and need some time.”

“Okay,” you say, resigned. “I’ll meet you here first thing tomorrow morning.”

You go with him to see with Tonis, hoping that having the conversation with him first will warm you up for talking to your family. Luckily, it goes fairly well. He’s shocked that Arlon just left you the way he did, but one look at Mando tells him you’re telling the truth. If you didn’t know better, you thought you could feel some sort of anger flowing off Mando as you recounted to Tonis your meeting with Arlon. But that couldn’t be right, so you shrug it off. 

Leaving Mando and Tonis to figure out whatever Guild business they have, you exit the cantina and angle your way toward your parents’ home. They live in an apartment in the center of town, right above the art store you frequented as a kid. You take your time meandering through the streets and memories flood your mind: The first time you rode a bike, running home from school with a good report card to show your parents, sneaking out as a teenager to meet up with friends at night… Before you know it, you’re standing at the door to their apartment, the wooden stairs leading to your childhood home stretching before you. 

“You can do it.” Mando’s voice says behind you. 

You jump, not having heard him walk up behind you. Turning to face him, you reach up and nudge his shoulder. “Scared the shit out of me, Mando.”

He chuckles, “Sorry.”

Taking a breath, you turn and ring the bell. It echoes through the open window upstairs, the same little tune from years before. You turn to thank Mando only to find that he’s disappeared again, impossibly quiet for being covered in pounds of shining metal. 

The sound of the door opening snaps your focus back in front of you and there stands your mother. A little shorter than you, her greying hair is pulled into a high ponytail and a headband secures the shorter hairs in the front. You got her eyes, and looking into them now is like seeing into your future. Little laugh lines crinkle as she smiles at you and she spares no time pulling you in for a hug.

“Oh sweetheart, I’m so glad you’re back safe!” she squeezes you tightly before pulling away. “Did you find Arlon?”

Your stomach twists uncomfortably. “I did. Can we go inside? I need to talk to you and Dad.”

Her face drops, but she nods and leads you up the stairs, closing the door behind you. Your dad is already in the living room, putting his book down as soon as he sees it’s you. 

“It’s so good to see you,” he says, taking you into his arms. You bury your face in his chest, fighting the tears choking you. 

“It’s good to see you both too. I have a lot I need to tell you.” You ask them both to sit down, planting yourself in a chair across from them. 

“I found Arlon,” you begin. Your dad looks relieved but your mom puts her hand on his knee. 

“There’s more though, isn’t there?” she asks.

You nod. “He… He didn’t want to be found.” Through tears and anger, you relay everything that’s happened over the last few weeks; from finding Arlon to training with Mando and, finally, your plans for your future. 

“I’ve worked so hard on being this perfect person, but I don’t even know who that person is. I don’t know how to look at myself in the mirror and love the person looking back at me. I need to know what it means to be me.”

Your mom has silver lining her eyes, but she’s smiling at you. Your dad stands and comes around the table to kneel next to your chair. 

“We are so proud of you,” he takes your hand. “We’ve always known you were capable of everything you set your mind to. Arlon was never the right man for you.”

“What do you mean?” your gaze bounces between your parents, not fully grasping what your father is saying. 

“What we mean,” your mother begins, “is you need to find yourself. You said it yourself, you worked every day to be the perfect person. The thing is, you were always being what you thought other people thought perfection was. Who do you want to be?”

You laugh, relief flooding your soul. “I don’t know yet, but I think I know how to find out.” 

“Does it have to do with this Mandalorian you mentioned?” your father asks, wiggling his eyebrows.

“Dad,” you laugh, shaking your head, “Mando is just someone helping me find my way. I’m not even sure how long he’ll put up with me.”

“Well, whoever this man is, I hope he’s treating you right,” your mother says, standing up and walking over to you. She kisses the top of your head and your father squeezes your hand. 

“He is. He’s already helped me more than I deserve.”

Your father goes back to the couch and looks at you intensely. “Honey, you deserve every ounce of love and support in the Galaxy. You always have.” Your mother nods, squeezing your shoulder. 

You continue the conversation with your parents into the evening. They promise to tell Arlon’s parents what happened, promising you that it wasn’t a problem that you weren’t going to be the one to talk to them. The night is filled with laughter and reminiscing, and more quickly than you imagined it draws to an end. 

“Do you have to leave tonight?” your mother asks, washing the evening’s dishes.

You take the plate she hands you, drying it and putting it in the cupboard. “I do, we need to get going on whatever Mando needs to catch up on after helping me the last few weeks.” You felt bad for lying to them, but you needed to get out. You knew where Mando had left the Crest and spending the night there alone felt like a better idea than lingering here for any longer. 

“We’re going to miss you, kiddo,” your father says, bringing the last dishes in from the living room. He takes the towel from you and wraps you in another hug. 

“I’m going to miss you too, Dad,” you hug him back. He lets you go and you move to your mom, hugging her as well. “I love you, Mom.”

“I love you so much. Please let us know you’re okay when you can.”

“I will, I promise.” When you pull away, she puts her hand on your jaw.

“We really are very proud of you,” she whispers, patting your cheek. 

“Thank you, Mom.” You look at both of them, “I love you both.”

They give you a small bag of food and clean clothes and see you to the door. You step out into the street and start walking in the direction fo the Crest. You turn one last time, looking at your parents. They wave and you wave back, then continue on your way. 

- - - - - - - -

Mando had been right. Talking with your parents and telling them what had happened gave you closure you hadn’t fully realized you needed. As you left the town and started walking the path to the ship, you were amazed at how light you felt. Your future was clear to you; you just needed time and space to figure out who you wanted to be. And you had so many options! Did you want to be a bounty hunter, like Mando? Did you want to learn more about art and use those skills to build your life somewhere bigger? For the first time, you felt opportunity before you and it didn’t scare you. It excited you. 

With a spring in your step, you approach the Crest. Climbing the ramp to the outer door on the side of the ship, you punch in the code you’d seen Mando use to open it. The interior was dim, but you’d spent enough time inside to know how to find your way to your cot in the low light. Dropping your bag on your cot, you hear thunking and rustling from the cockpit. 

“Mando?” you call out, taking off your coat and putting it on top of your bag. When he doesn’t respond, you move toward the ladder and climb. 

Peeking your head over the landing you see the dark cockpit. The only light coming in is through the windows, a full moon illuminating just enough to see the silhouettes of two people. Mando’s trademark helmet gleamed in the moonlight and, as your eyes adjusted, you could see him standing over a kneeling form. The second person moves back and forth at his waist and…

Oh no, you thought, scurrying silently as possible back down the ladder. Your face burns with the embarrassment of seeing something so private, and another emotion you can’t quite place… 

You think as little about it as possible as you grab your jacket and bag and race out of the ship. You make the trip back to town in record time, honing straight in on your parents’ apartment. Before you know it, you’re once again knocking on their door. 

The light in the stairway turns on and you see the outline of your father come down the stairs. He opens the door and says with a smile, “Back so soon?”

“Hey Dad, looks like Mando won’t be ready to leave until the morning. Can I crash here?”

“Like you even need to ask, this is still your home, kiddo.” He steps aside to let you up the stairs. Your mom is standing on the landing in her pyjamas. 

“Hi honey, everything okay?”

“Yep!” you chirp, “I get an extra night so I thought I’d come back and spend it with you guys.”

“Of course!” She leads you to your old room and opens the door. They’d converted it to a guest room when you had moved out, but always made it clear it would always be yours, first and foremost. The bed is slightly bigger than it had been when you were living here, but the soft pastels of the walls are the same. A bouquet of fresh flowers sits on the bedside table and the curtains sway in a light breeze from the open window. 

“Thanks, Mom,” you put your bag down next to the bed and pull softer clothes out to sleep in. The buttery-soft shorts and top slide over your fingers and smell like home. 

“If you need anything, just let us know. When are you heading out in the morning?”

“Pretty early,” you respond, “I’ll wake you guys up before I go.”

“Please do.” She kisses your cheek. “Sleep well, love.”

As you change and get ready for bed, what you saw in the Razor Crest plays in your mind. You weren’t sure who the other person was with Mando, but you were pretty positive about what you saw. It was obvious, now, what he “needed to take care of” before you left. Laying in bed, surrounded by the sights and smells of home, you felt a very unfamiliar emotion: jealousy. 

Of course, there was no reason for you to be jealous. Mando was nothing romantic to you. When you met him, you were engaged to another man. He was a teacher more than anything, and had agreed to show you the ways of traveling and self-defense so you could eventually leave and be out on your own. Your relationship had an expiration date and he was more than free to do whatever he liked with his life. You fall into an uneasy sleep, mirroring the last night you’d spent on Randon all those weeks ago.

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[one-winged-dreams]

manifests behind you breathing heavily because i need to know ALL your terra ship lore so i can use it for totally not nefarious deeds while thinking about my aqua ship. seriously just infodump whatever you've got i need to know EVERYTHING

@sosoftandsweet

HAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHA

ah...

OKAY

SO

Me and Terra have been childhood friends since we were like 10. I go over our first meeting in THIS FIC

Anyway, my insert is a student of Yen Sid, but like, I was never able to manifest a keyblade long enough, but I made a damn good black mage.

Obvs we kept meeting for various reasons growing up, and Aqua was screaming internally because she was like, "GET YOUR GAY ASS IN THERE, TERRA!" but didn't want to force us.

Anyway, the events of BBS happen, and my insert is involved but like, loosely. Eraqus asked me to help find everyone and bring them home, and so obvs, due to the nature of the game, I'm gonna have a confrontation with all three of them at one point in their stories. For Aqua's confrontation, she straight up tells me that I NEED to tell Terra how I feel, he needs someone to ground (hah) him because he's going down a path that she and Ven don't know how to pull him away from. And I, being the gutless weenie that I am, just stay quiet :')

The confrontation with Ven is a little more light-hearted, but it ends with me leaving and him being like "So you really care about each other, right? Why don't you tell him that?"

And it's just mounting frustration up until the Terra confrontation, which goes... Not great lmfao. We have our heart-to-heart (HAH), and it's going fine until I'm like, "I talked to Ven and Aqua..." and then he gets super defensive as he is wont to do and is like, "Oh, so you're trying to keep tabs on me too? I thought you of all people would be able to trust me." like the hardheaded dumbass that he is and I'm like

A NOTORIOUS crybaby, it's what I'm known for. So I'm just kind of choking back tears, and he notices and is internally like, 'great, i fucked it up,' and MY feelings are hurt, and I feel like a shitty person, so it basically destroys any chance of us admitting our feelings, and we just part ways LOLOLOL

Anyway, after Eraqus bites the dust, Yen Sid tells me (way too late) that I need to go help them out because Xehanort be Xehanorting.

And I arrive, of course, too late.

Semantics happen with Yen Sid, and I go off to search the lanes between for the three of them because it's what I do, I've been patrolling them for years. And at some point I go so far I'm past everything and have found my way into the world of darkness.

And I just keep going, I've done nothing but search and search and it's literally the only thing driving me anymore.

And I... Literally do not fucking remember how I get out, but it's supposed to be like, a secret cutscene for the end of 3D.

And then the recovery period starts, which is fucking AWFUL because I'm just so broken up about losing my friends (and Terra more importantly) and I didn't CHOOSE to leave, if it were up to me I'd still be out looking for the trio so I ALSO feel like a colossal failure.

I'm still filling in The Blanks™, but the keyblade reveal for KH3 (i know) is super cool and sexy, it's one of those 'pulls of my robes to reveal some ass-kicking clothes' moments, and the ass-kicking goes to Terranort.

And the reunion goes like, Terra having his moment with Aqua and Ven, and I'm still broken up about feeling like I drove him away and just kind of give a tearful smile and start to walk off, but he does NOT let that fucking slide and Aqua gives him a little shove and he runs after me.

And then our stupid gay asses finally confess our ~feelings~ and it's beautiful and homo.

We even have a duo attack during that one scene from the DLC.

BUT AFTERWARD, we open up a cafe in Twilight Town, and we just kinda work there when we're not off looking for Sora (which is still a STUPID FUCKING PLOTLINE, but that's neither here nor there).

Also, he's still training me to use a keyblade properly because "I love you, but your form is.... terrible."

INHALE

that's like, the rough outline of it anyway

WHICH IS TO SAY, i'm looking forward to seeing how YOUR ship goes. Like

EXCESSIVELY EXCITED

JUST REALLY FUCKING HYPED

FUCKING -is dragged off the stage-

[thecontumacious]

HELLOOOOOOOO i recently started reading ur content as a new lxm fan (waves) and i absolutely love your drabbles :”3c

could i request becoming friends to lovers with shu and luca separately, pleas?

- much love from shuca anon (if that isn’t alr taken, i’m so new to tumblr ^^)

About Self-Care

pairing: Luca Kaneshiro x GN!Streamer!Reader

a/n: hello shuca anon! glad to know u like my content~ also, pls don't worry! this is only half of your request done. i will still be doing shu's part very soon just in a different post~ also, i've unknowingly added luca to the streamer!reader series lololol

i think i should point out that whenever yall ask me for an individual fic, i can almost guarantee you there will always be some type of slow burn somewhere in it hsdajgksgd

from learning how to ride bicycles for the first time, cheating together during chemistry tests, pranking people in the mafia and even auditioning for nijisanji together, you and luca never once thought of separating

you met luca through your parents, who brought you over to little luca’s house one day to casually meet up

as like most kids, you were shy to meet this luca person and kept hiding behind your parents’ legs

but there he was, running out of his room when he heard he would have a new friend

and upon seeing your hiding form, luca immediately grinned and slowly approached you

“hi there!” he smiled. “wanna see my toys? we can play together!”

you perk up at the sound of ‘toys’ so you look up at your parents, asking for permission with your eyes

when they approved, you finally leave your hiding spot

luca smiles, offering his hand

“my name’s luca! what’s yours?”

that day, you begged to your parents to stay over at luca’s house

at the time, your parents would’ve thought it was because luca had shown you his toys. but the more they dropped you off at the kaneshiros' house, they can see that it’s the fact luca can paint a smile on your face so easily

and you’d agree

continuation utc!

one night, it’s luca who’s staying over at your house, perhaps the age of 15

playing minecraft, exploring caves and messing up the monopoly board throughout the hours

“luca, you can’t deny that i’m obviously winning right now,” you grin, crossing your arms

“hey, shut up! there’s still hope for me!” luca says, frowning afterwards as he moved a few spaces. he lands on a lucky card space, picks one up and thus finds himself in jail for the next two turns

“told you”

“shut up”

there were things luca was better at than you were, and things you were better at than luca

so you help each other in classes, hype each other up for late night studying

there was one time you were so tired, you had fallen asleep on luca’s desk

“and this one--ah, y/n?”

he realizes that you’re out cold and he can’t but smile

luca reaches out to your hair, brushing it away gently

“must’ve been a long day, huh?” he whispers, studying your peaceful face

it was a particularly long week for you actually, with more work piling up than usual and exams showing up every few days

he was lucky enough his teachers were in a good mood so he felt terrible seeing himself with more free time than you

it hurt whenever you rejected his invitation to hang out together because of said hectic schedule, ultimately skipping meals and sometimes forgetting to shower

to see you get some rest was… giving himself peace too, especially since it's beginning to be a bad habit of yours

luca only wished that you would take better care of yourself

so luca stands, carefully bundled you into his arms and lays you down on his bed

“geez, how many hours of sleep did you get this time?” luca sighs, tucking the blankets around you. “sleep well for me, okay? you’ll do well for tomorrow’s exam, i promise.”

but your tendency to forget about yourself doesn’t disappear, especially after getting into nijisanji together

being a streamer demands a lot after all. setting up schedules, keeping up with the fans, organizing collabs

luca didn’t want to seem selfish to take away what you liked doing, but sometimes, there are days where he wished you would stop being a streamer just so he could see you finally get the rest you needed, eat the proper meals and just take care of yourself

you were going to hate him for saying that

so luca stays quiet, no matter how much his heart screamed at him to protect you, no matter how much he lov—

wait

huh?

luca stops typing, his brain void of all thoughts but you

wh-when did he start feeling this way?

“there’s no way i… i like them, is there?” he whispers to himself

the screen before him can only keep watch of his racing thoughts, doing nothing to calm them

and what was supposed to be a night of planning for the next week, luca is stuck on the thought of you

“i’m like this only because they’re my best friend, right? i’ve always cared for them, i’ve… “

at this point, he can’t even tell. either that or he wanted to deny he really did… love you

okay it was probably just as a friend, since you’ve been together since a young age

so luca concludes that he’ll probably forget it

but it doesn’t

when it comes back to his mind, he throws it out

but it comes back as fast as it left

were you doing okay? did you forget to eat again? were you drinking enough water? you better have not slept less than six hours again…

and these thoughts continue to intrude luca’s head, more so than usual too

“do i actually really like them at this point?????” luca is malding yeah poor thing

after making sure you weren’t busy, he decided he was just going to ask you about it, except the part where he tells you you're the main subject here

“hey, y/n!”

“hey luca!” you greet back, letting him into your apartment. “what’s up?”

“just wanted to hang out is all,” he smiles, the lies seeping through his teeth. truly, he wanted to ask you something. the exact thing that kept him awake

“well, sure! what did you want to do?”

“um—actually, i wanted to ask you about something,” luca shuffles his feet a bit, scratching the back of his head nervously

you cock an eyebrow at him, obviously worried to what’s gotten into him

“did you do something bad? got a ticket or something?” you grin, but the anxiety doesn’t wash off luca’s face

“heh, funny, but no… “ he says. “okay, remember when you had a crush on that jerk back in middle school?”

“you came by just to ask me about a stupid crush i had?” you laugh at luca

but he fails to do the same, only swallowing heavily. “no, no, not just that. i wanted to um, ask about… what it felt like to crush on them.”

you were beginning to suspect him big time as you asked, “why would you ask me that? didn’t you have a crush on that girl back in school too?”

“it’s a little different you know? i mean like,” luca bites the inside of his cheek, cornered. “i’m just curious!”

“luca kaneshiro, are you trying to tell me you’re crushing on someone right now?”

yes—wait no—wait, was he???

“UHHH I HONESTLY DON’T KNOW—“ luca can just feel the embarrassment fill the room, you laughing at him only making it worse. “on a serious note though!! how do you tell if you just care for someone as a friend… with more than friends?”

you hum

“i don’t know about you but… i think, a good telling is when you start giving them all your time and attention to make sure that they’re okay.”

oh

“i mean with a friend, not to be offensive or anything, but i just think you can rly tell. you make time in the day to ask them about their day, you ask if they’ve eaten or drank enough. you think about them a lot.”

okay, sure

luca totally hasn’t been doing that exact thing

so, he was? he really was crushing on you?

but… what did that mean for him? for you?

did you even feel the same?

if he were to be honest, would you run away from him? would he be ruining what you guys had for the past 20 years or so?

was he willing to risk it?

“lucaaaa helloooo?”

luca blinks, looking back at you who seemed to have been trying to capture his attention for the past minute

he only smiles, weakly at that, “s-sorry. um, anyway! while we’re here, wanna go get something to eat?”

this time, it’s you who smiles faintly, “ah… i wish i could, luca. but work is on my back and i need to finish it by today.”

his heart sinks, again like all the times before. “oh, have you eaten at least?”

“um,” you look away. “i had some water…?”

at this, luca’s heart wrenches. “god, y/n, can you not skip your meals like this? it’s not healthy, you know? come on, let’s get you something to eat first, okay? work can wait.”

as he reached for your hand, you pull away immediately.

“no, luca, i can’t. i really do have some things due today. i promise i’ll get something to eat after everything’s done.”

“how can i trust you?”

you stare at luca. “what?”

he sighs, rubbing at his cheek exasperatedly, “how can i trust that you’ll actually eat this time? y/n, i know you well enough that you probably won’t. that’s why i’m taking you out to eat.”

“look, i really can’t hang out today, luca. i’ll eat soon,” you shake your head again

but the more you deny your meal of the day, the more luca gets more agitated

“no, you have to eat now. come on,” he grabs your arm this time and tries to drag you out of the house

but you force your hand off of him

“goddammit luca, i can’t! and stop treating me like a kid!”

“i will if you stop acting like one!”

“are we really doing this? really?” you cross your arms. “is that how you see me? a kid that needs to be taken care of?”

“you can’t really deny either, can you? you always forget to eat or get enough sleep! how can i not worry, huh?”

stop breaking my heart like this, y/n

“it’s your fault you worry so much about me! look, i’m fine! i’ve been doing this for so long and nothing has happened to me,” you sigh. luca is about speak again when you suddenly point towards the door, “i want you to leave, luca. please. i need to get work done today and i can’t have you slowing me down.”

slowing you down? luca’s already wounded heart only tears apart more, seeing you angry because of him. he only wanted you to be happy and healthy, he never meant to upset you…

“wait, y/n—“

“no, luca. just go.”

and your words were final. so luca does as you told him.

he leaves and wonders when he’ll ever make himself present before you again

he tried texting you that night actually

hey, have u eaten?

but you didn’t even bother to read it

it’s late, i hope you’re getting ready for bed

again, left alone

even though he was the one telling you to rest enough, he ended up not having any of that himself

he lies awake, looking at his ceiling, his heart in his hands.

“i’m sorry, y/n,” he sniffles. “please, just be okay…”

luca didn’t remember when he fell asleep exactly, as he kept waking every few hours before finally having to rise for the day

his head pounded from the bad quality rest but mostly from the stress of angering you

maybe you were just taking a break or something. maybe you were finally getting the rest you needed…

so luca only sighs, getting back onto his pc to set up his upcoming stream

he hoped the excitement of the stream and lucubs would help wash it all away, but every time he forgot about you, he felt just another pound of guilt

“LUCA HELP”

“boss boss please help!!”

“boss we need your help!”

?

luca pauses his game, looking off to the chat’s screen

“what’s up chat?” he inquires

“it’s y/n!!!”

what about you?

“huh? what’s up with y/n chat?” he asks, the worry from the previous night only deciding to gather now

“THEY COLLAPSED ON STREAM HELP LUCA”

what the fuck

“w-what??? wait are you guys serious?”

the lucubs and your fandom were aware that you lived close to each other, always hosting off collabs whenever possible

so it was only natural they came to him for help

“YES LUCA PLSSS WE’RE SO WORRIED”

and so was he

“okay you guys, i’m gonna go check on them. i’m sorry but i’ll have to end the stream here. i’m really sorry,” luca frowns

but the chat was nothing but supportive, telling him that it was better he ended the stream now to check on you than keep going

he was so, so grateful his fans understood

“alright, thank you so much, guys. please, let’s pray that they’re okay,” luca’s voice broke at the end of his sentence, he knew that. but he didn’t care as he went to end the stream

luca sped out of his room and didn’t even bother to get his coat

he ignored the men who greeted him or asked what was going on. all he could think about was you.

collapsed? on stream? he knew this was gonna happen eventually, yet he wasn’t there when it did

and there was nothing more luca wanted than to beat himself for it

he breaks down your door and barges into your room and as the chat said, you are out cold in front of your pc while still doing your stream

“Y/N!” he screams, gently turning your face. he shudders at how terribly pale you were and he doesn’t hesitate to pluck you up into his arms

“hi chat, it’s me, luca,” he says through the mic. “i’m going to have to end the stream okay? y/n just fainted.”

just like the lucubs, the chat gives him the permission to do so

after that, luca is quick to haul you out into his car and ran a few red lights to the hospital

he was a mafia boss, he can deal with the police later. right now, he needs to make sure you were okay

“doctors, please help them! they fainted while doing work!” he yelled as soon as he got into the ER

nurses recognize his face and almost immediately raced forward to help however they could, calling doctors and ushering other people aside

“please, wait here, mister kaneshiro,” a nurse tells him. but he’s reluctant to let you out of his sight, not after the stunt you pulled.

it was irrational, these people knew better than him but he can’t help it. who knows what could’ve happened if your fandom hadn’t come for his help…?

“i—“ then again, he didn’t want to delay your treatment any longer. so he inhales and lays you down by a bed, gently caressing your cheek. “just please be okay…”

then the staff reels you away, again bringing you far away from luca

luca waits patiently for you, but no less any restless. most of the patients and staff present recognized his face, so they wondered what had gotten the mafia leader so upset. they know not to prod around though

though it had realistically been only an hour, the nurses came looking for him after what felt like days

he jumps when someone taps him on the shoulder, and he sees it’s one of the nurses who helped you

“mister kaneshiro?” she calls him

“yes?” he croaks out

the nurse smiles, “your friend. they’re doing alright, i can assure you. would you like to see them?”

“of course, yes!” why wouldn’t he?

“alright, this way, please.”

even the walk down the hospital corridors felt like such a long trip just to see you

the nurse finally stops by a door and there you were, lying down, still terribly pale but in a better state than how luca found you

“they collapsed from exhaustion, i’m afraid. could be from stress, lack of sleep, not getting meals in. goodness, if you hadn’t come by, they would’ve been in a far worse condition…”

luca couldn’t even imagine what that would be like. “yeah.”

“they’ll be okay, though. just some extra rest and plenty of food, then they should be back in shape,” the nurse tells luca. “do you have any questions?”

“no, i don’t think so,” luca responds. the nurse then nods, excusing herself out

“jesus christ, y/n…” he whispers, taking a seat on your bedside.

truly, what could’ve happened if he hadn’t been there for you?

you would’ve woken up and continued to work away your life. you would continue to forget about yourself, leaving luca to bleed as he thought of you not taking care of yourself

he didn’t mean to treat you like a child, he just wished you would be more responsible of yourself

what price did he have to pay just to see that? his finance? his life?

something warm drops onto luca’s hand and he realizes only then that he was crying

one tear became two, a sniffle became a hiccup and soon became choking sobs. luca holds your hand, glad that it was still somewhat warm and full of life.

what would he do if he found it completely still and never to hold his hand again…?

luca sobs again, “god, please…”

“luca?”

!!

“y/n??? y/n!!” luca rises from his chair, almost knocking it off as he realizes you have opened your eyes. “oh thank god, let me call you a doctor, yeah?”

you reach for his hand, stopping him. “wait, wh-what happened?”

the thought of that particular moment haunted luca but he tells you anyway. “you collapsed on stream. then your chat went to my live to tell me that.”

as though you weren’t pale enough, you lose more color. “oh-oh my god, i’m so sorry you had to leave your stream because of me…”

“no, it’s fine. i care more about you than the stream,” luca smiles.

but you shake your head, “luca that’s your job, you shouldn’t be worrying about me.”

shouldn’t be worrying about you? shouldn’t—

“what the fuck?”

you flinch at his sudden curse

“y/n, what the fuck? what do you mean i shouldn’t be worrying about you?? you literally fainted mid stream, alone in your apartment! and what, you expected me to do nothing? you expected me to just leave you be and think you’ll be okay? what the fuck??”

you try to protest but luca is holding both your hands now, and you don’t remember what you were going to say

in the dim light, you finally see his glossy and red eyes up close, the trail the tears left behind much more evident this time

“how could you say i shouldn’t be worrying about you? you’re my best friend! your health matters to me! i care when you’re sick, i care when you’re sad, i care even when you tell me that you ran out of food!!”

“who knows what could’ve happened to you if i hadn’t come by, huh? you would’ve been alone and not getting the right treatment… and, and…”

luca’s voice cracks even more, and it breaks your every will inside to know you’ve worried and hurt him this much

this man who is always the one making you smile and motivating you when days were hard

the man who never fails to entertain his audience and always share his happiness with everyone he meets

this man was also weeping all because you decided to set yourself aside

this man who wasn’t you cared more about you than yourself

“god, i just don’t want to lose you, y/n. i love you so much. i don’t want to see you like this. i want to see you happy and taking care of yourself please.”

you stare at luca

and he stares at you

okay

luca… might’ve said something he shouldn’t have said, he might regret it later. but honestly? he was glad he wasn’t sitting on it

he was glad the truth was out

he was glad you knew now

whatever came after?

he’ll deal with it

“luca, i—“ you then let out a hiccup, followed by tears down your cheeks. “luca, i’m so sorry. i’m sorry. i’m really, really sorry.”

“hey, hey, it’s okay,” luca then wraps his arms around you, bringing your head into his chest

just like those times when you got your first break up, that bad fight you had with your parents

“no, it’s not. you’re here to care for me, but i got mad instead and thought you were treating me like a child when it was me who’s the child,” you continue to weep into his shirt, gripping onto it this time. “i’m so sorry luca. i’m sorry…”

“hey, it’s fine… just,” he gently pulls away, using his hand so that you look back up at him. “promise me you’ll take better care of yourself. please. that’s all i ask.”

luca then smiles, and you can’t help but smile with him. because this was luca kaneshiro. his smiles were contagious.

no matter what happened, when he smiled, you smiled. when he laughed, you laughed.

“i promise,” you breathe out. “i promise i’ll take care of myself better.”

“thank you,” luca says, bringing your forehead against his. “that’s all i ask thank you.”

“hey luca?”

“hm?”

“did you mean what you said? that you loved me?”

he pauses. “yes, i did.”

“good,” you giggle. “because i love you too.”

luca looks at you as though you’d grown a third eye, but seeing you smile again, giving him the reassurance that you’ll take better care of yourself in the future…

his hands make it to your jaw and he whispered, “c-can i?”

you smile gently, humming approvingly

he closes his eyes and so do you, then he finally closes the gap between you two.

the gap between the lips, and the gap that’s been long overdue the past 20 years

guys guys do u see my new pfp? my proofreader best friend drew it for me!! it's so cute:(

Masterlist!

[alleycat-arcade]

Game Continue! The Seven Lords: Bleeding Hearts(Part 3)

Careful, careful! A lot of people have been playing this cabinet, so give the machine just a moment to cool down.

(Here we go! Part 3 now of my Reverse Au for Obey Me! I didn't expect y'all to like this as much as ya did lol. I was surprised you guys wanted a part 2, let alone a part 3, but here we are! Or that yall would love the simp hcs my friends made me write. I finished up writing this on my birdwatching date yesterday and just finished editing this after work. I promise I have both a Genshin fic and Tears fic in the works for those who followed me for those lololol.)

(Read Part 1 here and Part 2 here!)

Lavender Tapestries and Candytuft Upholstery (Obey Me! Reverse AU)

Content Warnings: Snakes and horn filing but not much else in regards to things to be warned about.

(The brothers and Mc speak like this, but Mc is not colored. The "side characters" speak like this. Colors are based on their individual glowsticks.)

⚝──⭒─⭑─⭒──⚝

"Damn it Solomon, be gentle! I just got those re-gilded the other day."

"It's not my fault you never do this on your own. What are you going to do when the Exchange Students get here? Let it get out of control? I'm staying with the Angels in the Purgatory Hall, I'm not going to have the time to do this for you until the program's over."

Mc let out a groan as they leaned away from the horn file in Solomon's hand. "You know I always fall asleep in the middle of grooming. It's a hassle, y'know?" The ram-horned demon sighed, leaning into the other's offhand that cradled their finished horn. Their wings laid slumped against the tile floor. The fuzz that coated the back of them were brushed to a silky soft texture. "How do you manage to get all of those loose scales out of your tail on your own then?" The green tipped plates in question lay tied up neatly in a silk pouch on the marble countertop of the sink. "Those things sell for a fortune, how could I not? The paralyzing properties in their natural poison practically markets itself to witches or anyone who makes any sort of strong potions. If I really wanted to, I could probably sell them for a million Grimm each!" "The last time you tried that Mc, Luke found out and made you apologize for overcharging people. Don't you think that your reputation at RAL is poor enough?" Mc rolled their eyes as Solomon finished filing down their remaining horn, pulling away and getting up from the floor. "You're the only one here who cares about that sorta thing, Sol." The aforementioned male simply rolled his eyes. "Do you want me to take care of, y'know..." The sorcerer gestured towards his own hips and neck. "No, it's alright, I took care of it yesterday. You just worry about packing tonight, okay? I'm going to bed, thanks for helping me out." Careful to avoid the serrated ridges of their fellow demon's horn, they gently tussled his white locks on their way out of the bathroom.

A rush of cold air creeped up their spine as the door clicked closed behind them. The temperature was one selected by Solomon, since it was one of the only ways to keep them awake when they had guests over. It would take several more centuries for all of those present to forget about the event in which Mc had curled around Simeon when they were in the middle of baking, almost starting a fire whilst they had kept the Royal Butler caged in their arms. The memory made the demon shiver more than the cold air of the hallway. A simple chime sounded from their D.D.D. that momentarily distracted them from the sour thought. A notification from Solomon's Devilgram lit up the screen, showing off his handiwork on his own horns that he had done before Mc's. They were almost distracted enough by it to run into their door. As their hand reached to open it, they stopped and simply stared at the ornate brass handle.

The demon stood there for a minute, staring at it like it would burn their hand if they closed their palm around it, before turning on their heel and going to a different room down the hall. The gentle sounds of running water welcomed them as they entered, as well as the faint pause screen music of a popular two player game. Pushing a large flat pillow in the shape of a familiar creature against the glass, Mc nestled down on top facing towards the tank. Sensing their presence, a pair of eyes peered out from the dark waters and drew themselves closer. The creature blinked its golden eyes with excitement as it pulled its aquamarine body up to the glass. Its black forked tongue flicked in and out of its mouth as if it were saying a greeting. "Hello, again." Mc murmured, pressing a palm against the glass before drifting off.

They awoke the next day to a violently shaking alarm clock near their head and a soft fleece blanket draped over their body.

. ⋅ ˚̣- : ✧ : – ⭒ ⊹ ⭒ – : ✧ : -˚̣⋅ .

Mc adjusted the tie of their uniform uncomfortably, slouching against the table of the Student Council room. The young demon prince sat at the head, restraining his excitement, whilst Simeon prepared the portal. The Human World Exchange students were going to be summoned first, with the Celestial Realm angels following not too far behind. Solomon had already packed his bags and moved into the Purgatory Hall prior to the Student Council Meeting, and Mc could admit it'd be lonely at HOL without him. Sure, they would have two of three humans to look after to keep them busy, but living with strangers is a lot lonelier than living with someone you had considered a close friend for centuries. Vaguely, it reminded Mc of the time before the demonic sorcerer had come crash-landing into the Devildom in a spot not too far from the original crater from a few years before. "Now, is everyone ready?"

Simeon's voice brought the room's attention to the now finished portal, remaining dormant and waiting. "As ready as I'll ever be." "Yep!" Solomon had set down the tome he was engrossed in, while Luke's eyes glinted with an eager joy. The room gazed back to Mc, earning a muffled "mhmm" as they rested the side of their head in their palm. The position was meant to be relaxing, a nice cradle for their head as they waited for the humans to emerge from the portal. And yet, as seven bodies passed through the portal, Mc's hands began to vigorously massage their temples. The pile of humans were very still, but still breathing thankfully.

"Luke?" The demon prince in question looked over to Mc, who had begun to strain their jaw to prevent their teeth from gnashing. "You had me select 16 profiles of humans, of which you were going to choose two. Like what you did with the angels. Why are there seven of them?" "Well, these ones all have a familial bond! I thought it would, y'know..." "I tried to talk him into less, but seven was the lowest I could get. He originally wanted to send all sixteen to the House of Lamentation, since there is technically enough room." Simeon cut Luke off, knowing the sort of reaction Mc would have at the prince's complete statement. Both demons knew that Luke meant no harm by it, but it was hardly the time to have the humans' protector sulking. Taking a breath, Mc ran a hand through their hair. "I am fully aware of the family situation. I was the one who picked out their files remember? Ugh..."

"..."

"Agh... damn it my head..." "Hey, you're crushing me! Get off Mammon!"

. ⋅ ˚̣- : ✧ : – ⭒ ⊹ ⭒ – : ✧ : -˚̣⋅ .

At the bottom of the pile lay the tallest out of the group of roommates. He had awoken to the feeling of being crushed and the sound of multiple people screeching in surprise. The ginger finally managed to sit up as the others skittered off in different directions. Frantic voices sounded from around him as he gasped for air. From his position on the floor he could see his other roommates around him, some sitting on the floor as well while the rest had jumped to their feet in shock. The only one who was still unconscious was his twin, likely from how late he had been up for his evening classes the day before. "Oh, hello again, Beelzebub. Or would you prefer me call you Big Guy again?" Beel squinted in the dim lighting straight ahead, from where the voice had come. A familiar looking face stared back at him with a strained smile, propping their head up on one of their hands as they stared at the group from a table in front of them. "On a nickname basis already?" "No, those are just the ones that I told you about from a good handful of months ago. The non-cult ones that summoned me." "I see, so which one is Asmodeus?" The two of the three strangers who sat next to his mysterious acquaintance had spoke up. The brunette spoke in a very calm manner, but the white-haired male sounded much more interested. "Hold on, hold on! We haven't even properly done introductions, don't go acting all friendly just yet!" The short blonde at the head of the table interrupted, jumping up from his seat. The trio that remained looked in-between each other for a moment before finally standing and lining up beside them.

The small line of four were definitely unique types, or at least Beel felt they were. The only unifying characteristic each of them held were their uniforms, in style and form. The shortest of the group stood out a bit like a sore thumb, the pastel blue base color of his uniform starkly contrasting the dark gray the rest of them wore. The four had stood in silence momentarily, before the brunette gave the blonde a gentle nudge. "We are glad you have awoken, dear humans." The formality in his tone sounded rehearsed. "Please, allow us to welcome you to the Devildom! We have brought you here in order to unite the three realms, so please do a good job." "Luke... Ehm. What my young master means is that we have brought you here to be a part of our Exchange Program." Beel had not heard his brothers this silent before, even when sleeping, but it would be hard to not admit he was also shocked into silence. "...Is this some sort of dream?" He asked, earning a soft chuckle. "Quite the human response. This is not a dream, no."

"Wait, wait, wait! What makes ya we're participatin' in this damn program of yours?! You just abducted us outta nowhere!" At the shout of his elder roommate, a confused look crossed the strangers' faces. "Did you already forget the letters I sent out? I signed my name on them really nice too." Luke frowned, toying with the end of one of his sleeves. Looking through his memories, Beel tried to recall any specific letters speaking about any exchange programs that he may have signed. He and his brothers had received numerous letters in the past couple of months about college, ranging from scholarship opportunities to colleges begging for their presences. There was a chance that he had forgotten about signing into some sort of foreign exchange program, but it was far less likely that all of his roommates had signed themselves into the exact same program and had also neglected it. "Solomon, can you grab the signed copies from the table? I had extras made in case." The butler looking one tapped on the shoulder of the one he was speaking to, causing the white-haired male to hum and grab a few documents from the table.

Solomon handed him the stack of papers, and even in the dark lighting of the room Beel could recognize the distinct and perfectly written out handwriting of his eldest roommate. Still, he handed them to their respective owners, who only confirmed with surprise that the handwriting was their own. Other than his twin, who was still somehow sleeping through this no matter how hard he was nudged. "Now that that matter is sorted, let's get back to introductions, shall we?" Solomon waited for any further interruptions. After a good minute of silence, he took it as the queue to continue.

"Well, your friend Asmodeus may have known me under a different name, but you may refer to me as Solomon. One of the two Avatars of Sin." The male had a bit of a pompous air around him as he gave his best welcoming smile. He pat the smallest of the group on the back, signaling him to speak. "I'm Luke! Prince of the Devildom." Luke held himself in a regal manner, but the eager shake in his voice was clear to just about anyone in the room. "I am Simeon. I serve Lord Luke and keep track of things in the kingdom." Simeon bowed respectfully to the group, a look of serene grace present on his features. Eyes fell onto the last remaining member of the Devildom natives. They responded with a sigh as they stood up from their slouching position, their hands settling in their pockets.

"I am Mc, the other Avatar of Sin. I will also be your caretaker for the time period of this program. All I ask is you stay close so I may ensure that other demons do not attempt to devour you and your souls so this program can function as needed."

⚝──⭒─⭑─⭒──⚝

(fnfisnfnjesfindj I hate it when I post this in the queue instead of actually posting it. Big sucks. Anyway, I hope you enjoyed this! I'll probably continue this, so check in maybe next week ish. If you'd like a better way to imagine Mc's scaled tail, I personally work with seeing it like a pangolin's spines if they had poisonous tips. I am going to sleep for the next 6 hours lol. The its back to work on my other fic. Let me know if there is any weird bits or things that need fixing! Have a good morning/day/night! <3)

[vodkaxtonic]

Could I ask for a Hinata (haikyuu) imagine? Maybe where the reader feels insecure about their body but doesn't tell him because they doesn't think he'd understand & don't want to burden him? Good luck and thanks! 💕 Now time to read your entire account lololol

Insecurities •Shōyō Hinata x Reader•

A/N: It’s not exactly the request, but I still hope you enjoy!

Content: Insecurities, comfort, fluff, reassurance, post-timeskip

Wordcount: 1,1k

You were never really a fan of the way you looked. You didn't like your body's curves or the way you looked in certain clothes. The way most of the clothes you'd like to wear exposed the things you'd rather hide. 

Despite your boyfriend, Hinata, by now knew every curve and edge of your body you couldn't help but keep being insecure. Especially since he was one of the top Volleyball players in Japan, growing quite handsome himself.

But you were just...you. And you hated it. The way they criticized you on every gossip website, as soon as they got a glimpse of you and Hinata in public, the internet would go crazy. Mostly there were good messages, people who were happy that Hinata was still dating his high-school flame, but others weren't so nice. Though, they must be aware of the fact that they'd never even have a chance with Hinata.

That didn't change the fact that you got hate, and reading those messages on a day when you weren't feeling your best crushed you. 

So, now you sat in the hotel room you and Hinata stayed at temporarily due to his games, looking at yourself in the tall mirror, face covered in tears as you pressed the back of your hand against your mouth, trying to keep your sobs inside. 

You and Hinata were supposed to go to an after-game-party today, and he got you one of the prettiest attire he could find in Barcelona, yet it looked goddamn awful on you. At least that's what you thought. The way there seemed to be too much at the wrong places and too little at the places where you wished you had more. 

And every second you kept looking into the mirror, it seemed like you disliked yourself, even more anger consuming every atom of your body as you let your fist collide with your thigh, doubling over as you let your sobs out. 

Hinata deserved better, someone who looked good by his side, someone that could keep up with him and the handsome man he's grown to be. Not you. You never understood why he kept dating you, even after his career started. He could've found someone better than you, and that with ease.

You hadn't even realized that the hotel room door opened, and you hadn't heard the hesitant steps that echoed through the room. However, you did notice the familiar orange-headed boy as he came up beside you as he eyed you through the mirror with a frown, one of his hands running over your arm before he took a seat beside you, pulling you a bit closer. 

"Hey, what's wrong, Y/n? Why are you crying?" His voice was so soft and concerned, which made you tear up once again. "It's something dumb." You tried to laugh through your tears, failing miserably as even more made their way down your cheeks, dropping onto the cold marble ground beneath your feet. "It's not dumb if it makes you cry." He frowned as he let his hand cup your cheeks, wiping away your tears as good as he could.  "So tell me, pretty please?" You sighed, suddenly feeling awkward. It was a dumb reason to cry over.

"I just saw myself in these clothes and...I dunno...lost it, I guess." You chewed the inside of your cheeks. Heat rose to your face as you saw the look on Hinata's face...surprise. "Why'd you lose it? You look amazing." Hinata reassured, pressing a light kiss to your hair as he looked at you both in the mirror. He did think you looked breathtaking. "But do you see this? And this? Fuck, just look at it, it looks awful!" You said, tears stinging in your eyes as you stood up, pointing out the flaws your body made to the outfit that looked flawless by itself. "I fucking hate this, and I fucking hate the way I look and-and..." Your voice choked up as you started sobbing violently, tears running down your face.

"Baby..." Hinata almost cooed, wrapping his toned arms around you as he pulled you to his chest, one hand circling over your back as he mumbled sweet nonsense to you to at least try to calm you down. "How long have you felt like this?" Hinata asked with a frown because he did not understand how someone like you could hate themself. You were breathtaking, stunning from the inside and outside. "Since ever." You muttered, leaning your head tiredly against his chest as he kept his hand running over your back. "It wasn't this bad in high school, but it started getting worse the more people knew about you- us." You muttered. "It's just... you could've someone by your side who is perfect in every way, but you have me, and I don't even know why'd you date someone like me, I look disgusting-" Hinata cut off your ranting as he pressed his lips onto yours, shutting you up immediately. 

"Take a deep breath and listen to me." Hinata's voice was unusually stern as he talked, and you nodded with a frown. "I don't care what you look like. I really don't. In my eyes, you are perfect. You're someone I want to grow old with, and you're someone I always have fun with. Back in high school, none of the girls could handle me. No one but you. And do you think the damn celebrity girls that don't want anything else than money would be able to get along with me? Someone whose life consists of volleyball and you and barely has any time to show his appreciation and affection?" Hinata rambled, his eyes genuine. "No, no one but you has been able to handle me, and that's why I appreciate you so much. Every person in this world could lay at my feet and beg for my love, and I'd still take you a million more times, no matter what you look like. You could look like the Lochness monster, and I'd still put you first." You both chuckled at the last sentence, and you smiled as you listened to him ramble.

His eyes were genuine as he looked at you, a soft smile set over his face. "I love you, and only you. You are perfect for me. Despite what you think of yourself, although we might need to work a bit on your confidence because it's a shame that you don't see how attractive you are." You blushed as he chuckled, pressing another kiss to your head. "Please don't ever think you're not enough for me because you're everything I ever could've asked for." 

[gingus-doon]

pov u just shot your childhood hero, wdyd

i.e. i ramble about keiji post-shooting; his occupation, what he does, how he copes, how he feels, etc. etc.

just putting this little thing here because the post got quite long and i couldn't split it up because it's all somewhat related. it started out as a rant / informal ramble but then it got serious lololol

—

one thing i don't understand is why people hc keiji as still having a job with the police post-shooting? like that just doesn't make sense to me– not only based on his character but like... why would you wanna make him a cop with all the talk of how much the police suck lately? personally i'm a brown bitch so i couldn't be down with thirsting over a cop lol. it's just kinda confusing sjdhd

i've seen the hc of him as a private investigator, though, which i like! it's a very neat way to let him flex his detective skills without being part of a corrupt organization and without forsaking his own personal beliefs and feelings about the police, because i don't think those would change anywhere near easily and i just kinda can't see him going back into the police force because of that.

i have often wondered what keiji would do after the death game, and what he was doing before the death game or after the shooting, because i think he'd definitely quit after the shooting, with all the grief and trauma surrounding the job and his newfound cynicism.

i don't think he'd be doing private investigation before the game, or more specifically, before his character develops into something reminiscent of his old self– as he is at the start of the game, he just doesn't have that faith in protection, so i can't imagine him being an investigator at that point. HOWEVER, in a post death game OR non-death game au where keiji has started to pull himself up from that tar (most likely with the help of others lol) i think that's definitely a plausible option for him and i like it a lot :]

as for other options, though... i really don't know! this is more of a stupid idea but i considered him working in a convenience store like shin lol. i had a whoooole au about him, kai, and shin working in the same convenience store just because they can't hold down any other jobs / don't know what else to do for work. shin is able to actually hold down the job because the last manager was mysteriously taken out of commission (i don't know lol) and they were ridiculously short-staffed already so shin ended up being the "most qualified" for the now vacant position. keiji's had a string of odd jobs since the police and this is just the next one. he's hoping to find something with a better wage but this'll do for now, it's even in walking distance from his apartment. and kai, kai's trying to exercise more independence from the chidouins' after becoming his own person! so he gets what i think would be his first job (well, his first official job, anyway... being an assassin and the chidouins' personal maid were more unofficial gigs lol.) ahh that was a lotta rambling about my dumb little au but i just think it'd be neat, they're three of my favourite characters so having them just vibe with each other at work and become friends sounds nice 2 me :] also Coincidentally i ship literally every combination of those three characters so that may have played a part in my casting decisions lmfao

oh wow that was a really long and uncalled for synopsis but this is just a rambly post so it can't really be uncalled for because this post doesn't have any particular point lol (A/N after writing this— IT HAS A POINT NOW, DISREGARD PAST ME)

SO ANYWAY ! i was just considering what keiji would do right after the shooting. honestly i have noooo idea, it's the beginning of a long road of him burying his trauma in a desperate attempt to avoid facing the pain it brings, and it marks a profound loss of innocence which makes his heart begin to grow cold. it's just hard to see the beginning of the process when where he started and where he ended up are very different places.

obviously, he'd quit his job. i wonder if the hallucinations would start right away? him being naïve in the beginning, i'm sure he'd acknowledge them– cry out apologies and plead for forgiveness until his throat is hoarse. the rule of hallucinations in yttd seems to be that if you acknowledge them, they'll burn themselves into your brain and you'll never be rid of them– implying that keiji has done so, as it's likely been years since the shooting and he's still suffering from the visions despite seeming to ignore them now.

ahh, i'm getting in my feelings about keiji now 😭😭 when i started this, i wanted to be held by him, but now i just wanna hug him like damnnnn

but back to what he'd do after the shooting– this scenario is self indulgent, but wouldn't it be nice if he took some time off and just stayed at his mom's place for a while? help her with chores while she's at work, try to regain a sense of normalcy in his childhood home...

i don't think he'd be able to do this right after the shooting. keiji had shame, once upon a time– the guilt would rack him like nothing else. i can imagine him spending a lot of late nights with alcohol, just wishing it was a dream. his resentment towards megumi slowly building as he feels he's being left in the dark as to why, why he isn't allowed to atone, why she's being so cold towards him about the shooting when he's suffering so heavily from the effects of it.

he wouldn't want to be around his dear mom as a murderer, and as a resentful alcoholic who's coping very poorly with his circumstances.

also (tangent incoming), i kind of wonder about keiji and alcohol a lot. in his fondness events with mishima, he says the following—

the "haven't drank that much in years" part makes me wonder– for how long? did he start to restrain himself before the shooting or after? i would say it's most likely after, considering the "feels like it'll swallow me up" comment he made soon after. and, how he talked about binge drinking when he was still a newbie. perhaps it was fine for him to do so, before the shooting— he'd just get wasted and flirt, have a good time. but after, it morphed into an inefficient coping mechanism which he fell far within the depths of to try and control the worst of his grief and self hatred. after that, heavy drinking couldn't just be for fun anymore.

i assume in the "before it got this way" comment, the "way" he's referring to is how he doesn't drink much anymore? or, he could be talking about the depression drinking, but i think the prior makes more sense.

even though i think, given keiji's example of drinking with megumi, that he could have gotten blackout drunk a couple of times purely for fun pre-shooting, i think here he's referring to the painful side of his relationship with alcohol here, the part that took place when he was trying to cope with his trauma. i think he brings up the story of drinking with megumi immediately after, then, to avoid talking about that part of his past. though he doesn't show it much, i think he's deeply ashamed of himself. not only of what he's done, but how he's handled it afterwards.

on a lighter note, though, it's quite funny to think of Lawful Good young keiji shinogi getting drunk off his ass and flirting with every woman he comes across willing to flirt back. like, what's up with that??? he seems like such a serious dork in the flashbacks, but doing well in his police job, he just... lets loose?? no no, honestly i think he hadn't drank much before going out with megumi and he took her insistence on him drinking a little too far, and with his inexperience with alcohol and the successive lack of self restraint that comes with each new drink, you get casanova shinogi, lmao.

BACK TO THE SERIOUS STUFF THOUGH !! i really like the idea of him going to his mom to help him pull himself back together. i think they'd have a solid relationship, fight me! he seems to adore his mom as a child with a good single parent usually does. i'm sure he appreciates her immensely for all the care and love she managed to give him when he was a kid while also working her ass off to support them financially. this very respect for her is what i think would drive him to isolate himself from her after the shooting– as i said above, he's a murderer now. a disappointing human being in general, and an even worse son. to let down his mother who worked so hard to raise him right... how could he? as his condition worsens and his heart grows colder, i'm sure that feeling would fester inside of him. he'd try to ignore it, as he does with everything else, but it's already wrapped its tendrils around his soul. that particular guilt isn't leaving him any time soon.

now that i'm thinking about it, also, i don't think it's likely that he'd quit his job right right away. it'd be more of a slow descent over the span of a few weeks. immediately after the shooting, he may stop showing up to work for a while. he just can't put on that uniform when it's practically caked in the blood of someone he held in such high esteem for so long. eventually, though, he gets a hold on himself– just a bit. he doesn't want to be cooped up in his apartment with his thoughts anymore, and he doesn't want to lose his job. what else would he do?

so, he takes it easy on the first few days back. megumi tries to make it easy for him. paperwork, whatever job he could do that's not on the field. he clings to her like a wounded puppy, hoping that she'll explain why she's covering it up when he doesn't want her to, what he's supposed to do with these feelings around the incident. he's drowning, and she's made herself a big sister figure to him– she's supposed to help him. but, she shrugs him off when he brings it up. she's so harsh about it compared to how she usually speaks to him. perhaps because of her own guilt around the incident, perhaps it's the family's response and how keiji is now, how panicked and sleep deprived the poor kid has looked since that day.

so he continues to spiral with nothing to hold on to. grasps at alcohol in a futile attempt to stop falling, because it's all he can think to fall back on. he's a wreck at work– he's barely living, much less working. but megumi tries her best to keep him from getting fired. she'll get him coffee and breakfast and try to say something encouraging. "hey. hang in there, shinogi." with a touch on the shoulder. but in spite of her efforts, of course, it hits a breaking point. everyone in the job thinks keiji's too damaged to continue, saying he either needs to see a shrink or get the hell out of the way and let everyone else do their job.

and keiji just stops coming into work one day.

the downward spiral ensues.

[bartsugsy]

I don't really get why everyone is so pissed at aaron for saying "a kid of our own"? maybe it's just me but i don't hear that as him saying seb isn't their son, he does think of both of them as his dads, to me he meant "a kid that would be just ours and no one else" because even though they are seb's dads they do share him, he's not a kid of their own the two of them, that's accurate? I don't get the anger it's not a crime to want to have kids with your husband without a third (and fourth) party

i mean, my opinion is that in the context of aaron’s entire relationship with seb, but much much more specifically the last week of episodes, the whole “a kid of our own” thing was worded super deliberately?

because i think you could argue that if, say, aaron had decided a month ago that they should have another kid and broached that subject with robert, the phrasing would be entirely different

it would be about expanding their family and giving seb a sibling and loving where he and robert are at in their lives, i’d imagine? like, just going by the way aaron has spoken about their family previously

and even, if we go to a specific scene - the last time they spoke about having kids, right before gerry’s death, robron are like u know what??? we are great dads and great guardians, which accidentally gets them onto the topic of having more kids. they have that weird little pause where u know they’re both internally yelling what if we have eight more kids right now, before they’re like loool three kids in the house is enough for the moment right hahaha

but u know they’re fully into this idea

like, this whole conversation is obvs helping to frame the tragedy of gerry’s death, yes, but it’s also a good look at how they’d see having more kids as exactly that - more kids on top of the family they already have

(and there’s a lot of other moments where you can see how aaron sees his place in seb’s life 

fuck rmr when they proposed to each other and rob was like OK AND WHAT ABOUT ADOPTING SEB and aaron was like wait what and then the next day like UH I’D LOVE NOTHING MORE???

like, the show has done months of groundwork of them being a family, everyone refers to aaron as seb’s dad, aaron is always both comfortable in his place in seb’s life and has been very outspoken about that. rebecca has also said multiple times that aaron is also seb’s dad. like, the framing is there.

(i know that people have said that they don’t necessarily think the way they’ve done it is convincing, but not finding it convincing does not mean it didn’t happen on screen. whether the viewer believes it or not is a separate issue.)

as i said, i can’t imagine that, a few months ago or even a week ago, aaron would have broached the subject of babies as ‘let’s have a baby of our own’, with this implication that seb isn’t their own, or that aaron wasn’t genuinely very satisfied with the situation of their parenting 

like, he literally never had an issue that he was co-parenting with two other people. that never came into things as a problem for him.

so then the conversation yesterday is happening in the context of a lot of things :

rebecca wants to take seb away

aaron doesn’t want it and is the most outspoken about that

rob is very much like ok we need to keep the peace but i stand by aaron’s choice here - and so we genuinely do see them working as a team, as this complete unit, with aaron genuinely taking the lead on how to proceed with what’s happening with seb

until rebecca has a meltdown bc she want robron to live 50 miles away from seb but her living 50 miles away from either her boyfriend or seb would be the end of the world

and rebecca is talking about getting the courts involved and staying in emmerdale until a decision is made (and no longer)

and rebecca makes it clear that robert and aaron won’t win, thanks to aaron’s convictions

robert, feeling the need to protect aaron from understanding that he is the reason why ultimately they won’t get to keep their son (as the show frames it) decides that if he gives up seb now, without aaron getting a chance to fight it, aaron might never have to realise why they had to lose seb and maybe it would be easier to not delay the inevitable and ultimately kinder on aaron

which means ultimately that robert sends seb away without consulting aaron

aaron straight up asks robert if he thinks aaron is a bad dad - he feels hurt and undermined in his position as seb’s dad

rob tries to explain why he did it but he can’t really, because the whole point was to save aaron from the truth of it

and i think this was like... the turning point for aaron to start feeling insecure about his place in seb’s life. bc before, seb was living happily with them and they were talking about adopting and legal rights and whatever and no one even questioned how aaron fit in with seb’s life - aaron was seb’s dad and that was that

so i genuinely don’t think he ever particularly worried about the fact that seb legally wasn’t his, or that his position relies entirely on robert??? bc he never had to before????

and rob clearly never really thought about it, beyond knowing that he wanted aaron to have legal rights somehow, particularly once they thought rebecca was out of the picture

robert literally said that he felt relieved when rebecca had left, because it could just be the four of them. aaron barely reacted to rebecca leaving and coming back outside of being worried about robert - he never once wavered in how comfortable he felt as seb’s dad. he spent a whole scene describing elements of seb’s future that he’d been thinking about and all the ways he knew he’d be a parent to seb. 

but then rob ripped seb away from him without even giving him a say

and it was with good intentions and the best rob felt he could do in a horrible situation, but

to aaron i think it was like being hit with the reality of the situation all at once

and then aaron’s struggling and robert is trying to explain things to him and making him feel better and aaron literally spends the entire next day hugging seb lmao 

rob doesn’t get even one hug hahaha 

but then aaron can’t bring himself to give seb back bc aaron knows what it’s like to be abandoned by a parent and rossbecca panic and start bringing the police and the courts back into it 

which makes robert panic because he knows they’ll lose - even though aaron doesn’t

and so he has to ultimately explain this to aaron, thereby causing him the pain he’d tried to avoid

but the fact that rob took seb away without asking aaron still happened

and what happens when aaron tries to take seb away?? the fuckin police almost get involved and suddenly they’re staring down the threat of supervised visitations lmao

bc rob’s say technically outweighs aaron’s

and then robert is pissed bc aaron deciding that kidnap was the right response was obviously stupid and short sighted - particularly since, as robert explained in detail, rob has very strong feelings about not going to court and about parents being amicable where children are concerned thanks to his own childhood

so rob is like fuck u i’m going to the lawyer by myself and i’m gonna ignore your calls all day xoxo - not because rob thinks he has more of a right to seb necessarily but literally because he’s a petty bitch lmao. he specifically makes a point to aaron that he ignored aaron’s calls because aaron had taken seb and not picked up his phone and rob had spent all day worrying that they were dead lmao (and then it caused an entire shit storm lololol)

but again, to aaron, who has already been forced to confront the lack of control he has over this situation that’s hugely life affecting for him, this just feels like even more of a push back

and then robert says ‘my son’ and aaron is once again like ok so you said we’re a team but we’re actually not a team where seb is concerned, it’s all about you???

and rob explains that he’s just angry and so not thinking clearly about his words and doesn’t see that it’s a big deal, but it’s like a final nail in the proverbial coffin, isn’t it? aaron’s spent days dealing with the fact that his own son can be taken from him without him being able to do fuck all about it

and his baby sister has just died, something incredibly out of his control and something he wasn’t really able to grieve over in public

and so whilst paddy is with robert explaining that aaron struggle with grace’s death and that for the pain of their own son being taken from them, all they have is each other, aaron is contemplating this whole world of ways in which he's not allowed to be a parent to his own son

and so his solution is to have a baby with robert - a kid of our own. not another baby - a baby that’s just theirs. who can’t be taken away from him.

this is happening in the context of everything above. this isn’t supposed to be the perfect solution, because the reality is that getting a surrogate and having a baby isn’t going to make aaron stop seeing seb as his son and it isn’t going to cure the fact that he feels this immense loss of control 

like, it’s not going to make him feel any more secure as seb’s parent - something he still very much is. 

this is the longest fucking answer in the world all to say the following: i think the choice of words is indicative of aaron struggling with a different problem and his solution isn’t one that will help solve that problem at all

it’s not that aaron wants a kid with robert without a third party - it’s that he wants a kid with robert because there wouldn’t be a third party, because he thinks that that’s the best way to simulate what he feels should have happened with seb

but it doesn’t actually solve the issue with seb, which won’t ever go away. they’re literally trying to actively stay in seb’s life, as his dads. having a baby now won’t make aaron suddenly feel ok about the situation with seb.

the damage is already done. it was done the second robert gave seb to ross and rebecca. 

bc the reality is that it’s not about having a baby or being a parent. it’s an issue that aaron has with robert. because robert inadvertently caused all of this. it’s the bad luck of a terrible situation yes, but it was also robert. aaron felt completely secure until robert undermined him. not rebecca. not ross. rebecca and ross both were totally treating aaron with the same respect they were treating robert. they didn’t make aaron feel insecure about his place in seb’s life. robert did.

and so having a kid with robert isn’t going to solve that issue at all lmao

[j-aie-xcp-blog]

Creepypasta preferences

-when/how you meet (part 1)

Note: some pastas aren't included (like candypop/cane, laughing Jill, lost silver, glitchy red, slender brothers, etc.)There are also 2 parts bc it got too long oops.

Warnings: cussing

Requested?: noope

Jeff The Killer: you guys met in your house, when you were sleeping. You were laying in your bed covered in blankets, because you were cold. You immediately opened your eyes when you heard a subtle crash in your kitchen downstairs, soon after, you heard groans and some cusses. "Motherfucker shit, bitch ass window!" someone whisper yelled. You grabbed your phone from the charger and tapped on 'emergency call' trying not to stress out. When you heard the person's footsteps coming closer, you hid your phone under your pillow. Your door opened causing some light from the hallway to seep in, the light shined on your face, while you acted sound asleep. He strolled a bit around your room looking around and moving stuff. It sounded like he tried to wake you up with it, but you stayed quiet. You heard him grumble and walk closer, in the meantime you had your hand close to a glass of water that stood next to your bed, once you felt his breath on your face you grabbed the glass of water and slammed it on his head, screaming. "what the fuck are you doing in my house huh?!" he groaned in response trying to grab his knife. You noticed it, ramming your foot on his wrist, then immediately started kicking him. You grabbed your phone calling 911. He slowly got up going to the window while you backed into the corner. Then, you saw his face.... Pale skin and a carved smile in his cheeks. His eyelids were gone and replaced by dark circles. It was horrifying, which caused you to just faint because of too much adrenaline. Jeff on the other hand gave up and left, he knew he would be back and that he would be finishing the job.

Ben Drowned: it was 2 A.M. on a school night and you were still on your phone, talking to cleverbot. Cleverbot was just a fun way to talk to something when you were bored but, the conversations started getting personal lately. You were convinced that Cleverbot was just someone on the Internet trying to talk to random people. The conversations went from vaguely talking about world hunger to talking about your experiences with your crushes or ex boyfriends/girlfriends, it was never boring. You stayed wondering who they were and you thought about just asking, I mean what could happen? Exactly. Some pedo that's behind the screen. Indeed. "Hey I was wondering, if you're an actual person?" "Go to sleep, it's 2 A.M. You have school tomorrow" you chuckled and sighed. "meh idc. You didn't answer the question." "What question?" you groaned in annoyance. "are you an actual person?" "I would love to go on a date with a monkey! Though it would be dangerous." "you know never mind, goodnight then." you put your phone away ignoring the other questions the bot asked and started making yourself ready for bed. Once you turned back to your phone, you noticed it was going crazy. And I mean batshit crazy, buzzing, making sounds, flickering on and off, sometimes it showed some kind of text like "you shouldn't have done that.". It was glitching all over the place, so you turned it off, and back on. Big mistake because some weird ass boy jumped out of your screen. You smashed your phone to the wall screaming and backing away, while your phone made buzzing and cracking sounds as someone crawled out. "Hello darling~" it was the boy that spoke. He was a bit taller but not much, and red liquid poured from his black-red eyes. He wore the same outfit as link from LOZ, but demon-like. "I know I'm a lot to take in but don't ignore me. I don't like that. Normally, on cleverbot, you keep talking and talking and talking. So much you cought my interest. (Y/N) right?" 'oh godo lord shit.' you thought as he said that. "H-how..... W-who..." you couldn't talk, just stutter. "I'm Cleverbot. Or Ben Drowned. Whatever you want." He stepped closer causing you to hyperventilate and back off even more, almost into the wall. He just laughed and then wooshed back into the phone. You didn't sleep at all that night.

Masky (this actually happened in a dream lololol, also ill relate toby's and hoodie's story to this one): You were in the woods, because you like spending time in nature. Though you've never been in these woods, you were obsessed with it's surroundings. You walked in pretty deep, actually not being sure if you'll be able to find your way out. You looked around feeling hypnotised, but that feeling was quickly interrupted by soft talking, before you could turn around you got hit in the head, hard. You didn't pass out but boy did it hurt. "Oh fuck what the hell?!" you turned to the person hitting you seeing a guy with a white mask and black features on it, you couldn't take in the rest because you were bleeding from your head and it hurt. Before he could strike again you grabbed his arm pulling him towards you, and grabbing the brick he hit you with. "Nice try, bitch." you said and kneed his guts. He didn't know you learned how to fight because you always had to protect your sensitive brother from assholes. You kept kicking but he fought back, grabbing your ankles and pulling them down, causing you to fall on the ground. He got up and sat on top of you strangling you. You made some weird sounds trying to breathe but eventually he let you go, like he got called for by someone. He looked up and got up running off. You layed there hella confused, rubbing your neck. -To Be Continued in Hoodie's story-

Hoodie: "What were you doing?!" he whisper yelled at Masky. "I saw them nearby and I wanted to knock them out but they fought back dammit." Masky said groaning a bit in pain. "fucking marvellous, you dumb shit! Where did you leave them?" "Ill show you." Masky sighed and walked back to where he left you. There you were, sitting in the ground, head in hands. You tried getting up but immediately someone pinned you down again. "What the fuck?!" you looked up seeing someone else than the guy that attacked you. You two fought for a while, the other guy watching, but you ended up back on your feet. He pointed a gun at you which made you gulp. 'well fuck me sideways.' you were shaking, looking at the gun and then back at the guy. In a, sort of, swift movie you grabbed the gun and pointed it at him still shaking. "What the fuck?" he said, pretty shocked. "hoodie goddamnit!!" the first guy said. 'Hoodie? What kind of name is that?' you chuckled softly earning their gazes again. 'shit I'm so fucked.' -To Be Continued in Toby's story-

Toby: he heard hoodie and masky yell, together with another person, whose voice he didn't recognise. He made his way towards the voices and saw the two masked companions, and a strange person. He tightly gripped his hatches and started launching towards them. The person yelled at his movement and shot him, also immediately dropping the gun in stress. "Oh my fucking god I'm so sorry I didnt mean to hurt you!" you tried to apologise but he just got up laughing. "You think I felt that? That's adorable, I cant feel." your eyes widened when he said that and launched again at you, you dodged it and ran away as quick as possible, not thinking about it twice. Toby tried going after you but Masky and Hoodie held him back. "Let them go, we'll get them later, yeah?" Masky said on which Hoodie and Toby nodded, going back to their house.

A/n: hell yeah that was the first part! In the next part I'll include : LJ, EJ, Slenderman, Jane, Clockwork aaand Liu. Xx.

[my-mystic-messenger]

Are requests open?? Could you do a HC or write a little scenario where MC is childhood friends with the RFA and they haven't seen each other in ages, so they don't recognize them at first when they show up in the chat? I'd love to see this written in your style! Thanks so much :D

Hello everybody and so sorry I’ve been awol again. However, I wasn’t completely useless as I established some MC’s so everyone has their own girl with their own personality as they do in the game. You can get to know the MC’s and check out my Masterlist 

|| REQUEST ARE (ALWAYS) OPEN!! ||

♬Zen♬

“You’resinging it wrong.” Despite the words having been spoken gently Hyuntensed with shock, instantly spinning around to see whom had spoken.Usually he’d been uninterrupted when staying behind after class topractice singing. He told his parents that he was staying late tostudy, which in itself wasn’t a lie, he just wasn’t studying forschool. Apparently the silence had lasted too long as the girl’sfriendly smile wavered a little and she cleared her throat. “I’msorry, I didn’t mean to startle you, but you had a little twist inwords”, she continued, chuckling nervously. It was such a sweetsound, Hyun noted. Her voice was very soft and pleasant and it madehim wonder what she sounded like while singing. “Why don’tyou sing it to me? I learn best by listening.” She blushed but gavea quick nod before clearing her throat and proceeding to sing. Tothis day Zen hadn’t heard a voice like that. Despite it being atraditional and complicated song the girl didn’t miss a single note,capturing him to the point he could merely stare in wonder. “W-whoare you”, he’d asked, cheeks reddened. “My name is Macy Cain”,the girl had replied, bowing to him politely. “And you’re Hyun.I’ve been listening in on you for a while now. I’ve never heard sucha pretty voice. I was really looking forward to hearing you performat the summer festival, but it turned out you’re not in the choir. Iwas wondering why? It’s such a waste for you not to be.”

UsuallyZen kept to himself but something about that sweet, little girlcaptivated him. That evening he told her about his parents and hisbrother, opening up his heart for the first time. Macy listened tohis every word, never once judging or even interrupting. By the timethe sun had started to set the two of them had talked for hours andHyun felt a lot lighter around the heart. They talked like that everyday, singing together in the empty classroom, a sacred moment sharedbetween only the two of them. For three years their friendshiplasted, until their ways parted when it was time to go to highschool. That entire time though Macy never missed an opportunity tosupport and encourage Hyun. “You have to promise me something, yes?Follow your dreams and never give up. Your talent belongs on a stageand one day…one day I want to see you up there with the big ones.”

♬

“Everyone,gather around. The live performance is starting”, Jaehee announced,getting all the members attention. Zen smiled down at you lovingly,offering a hand to help you up. You graciously accepted it, followinghim to the dance floor where everyone was gathering. You’d hired aband for the RFA party and they were about to open the dance floorwith their first performance. Zen had already wrapped his arm aroundyour middle, holding your hand in his when the woman began to sing.The two of you froze at the same time, both of you turning your gazeto the front. Zen’s eyes widened as he stared up at the stage, hissilent gasp slowly turning into a smile as memories started to floodback in. Ah yes, that song, he’d heard it before. Zen closed his eyesfor a brief moment, letting the music sweep him up. It was a sweetreminder of a much simpler time.

Thatis when it hit him. The faint sound of a familiar voice barelyaudible over the loud performer using the microphone at the front ofroom. It had changed, of course, matured over the years but it wasnevertheless that sweet, gentle voice that had lulled him into safetyall those years back. As he opened his eyes and turned to you thefloor seemed to have been ripped away from under his feet. You weresinging, lips moving as the melody fell from your mouth as easily asit did all those years ago. He couldn’t believe it. “Macy…”,Zen gasped, getting your attention. You stopped singing, turning yourhead to smile at him knowingly, just as gentle as you did in middleschool. “It’s nice to see you again, Hyun. I’m so happy that youkept the promise you made to me. You really belong on the stage.”Zen laughed then, tears of joy gathering in his eyes. Who would havethought his first love would turn out to be his last.

★Yoosung★

Yoosungwas shaking with excitement, eyes constantly shooting between theopen LOLOL server and the clock on his wall. It was two minutes tomidnight which meant two minutes until his online friendKillingInSpanish would come online. They’d met about four years agoduring a big raid. Amidst all the fighting Yoosung had spotted theusername AlmostEvil665 and burst out laughing for some reason. Overthe years they’d changed their username according to whichever memethey currently found amusing, but Yoosung still called them Evilwhenever they talked. Back then Yoosung’d been only twelve years oldand LOLOL was a relatively new game. Therefor he’d been more thaneager to find friends and form guilds and after watchingAlmostEvil665 slay an entire team he decided that they were a goodstart and attempting to chat them up.

Atfirst talking turned out to be a lot more complicated than expected.Neither of them was really fluent in English, but AlmostEvil665wasn’t from Korea so English was their only option, really. Luckilythe language wasn’t that hard to learn and it wasn’t like they werediscussing philosophy and foreign politics. However, languagebarriers weren’t their only problem. Yoosung didn’t know exactlywhere Evil was from, but their time difference wasn’t definitely ahuge issue. For a good month or so the two of them constantly seemedto miss one another in their log-in times. On top of that Evil wasonly allowed to use her computer for one hour a day, which made awise choice all the more important. Eventually they’d settled onmidnight to one in the morning and from that moment on Evil andYoosung chatted every single day for four years without miss.

Actually,it was mostly Yoosung chatting at Evil. They never really talked muchabout themselves. Yoosung still didn’t know their age, gender or evenlocation. While he talked to most people via Skype call, Evil wasnever able to join. Still, they always laughed about his jokes andnever let him down, so he considered them a friend. Finally the greencircle appeared beside their username, indicating that they wereonline. KillingInSpanish: Yo, have some gd newsSupremeYoosung:Rly? What?KillingInSpanish: M movn 2 koreaSupremeYoosung:srsly?!KillingInSpanish: yaSupremeYoosung: cool!maybe we can meet?KillingInSpanish: nah, man. be busy withuni n shit. + god knows where w rSupremeYoosung:tru. still sad :(KillingInSpanish:don’t be a baby.  at least you won’t have to wait till 12amSupremeYoosung:lololol I do dat anywayKillingInSpanish:srsly? IdiotSupremeYoosung::(KillingInSpanish:dnt have time for yo crybabying. cmon, raid is waiting.Yoosungwas a little disappointed that he wouldn’t get to meet his friend,but he still felt happy knowing that even thought he didn’t knowwhere they were exactly, the two of them would be closer togetherfrom that moment on.

★

Whenyou logged into the chat the topic was yet again Yoosung’s LOLOLaddiction. You sighed. Either you were being compared to his cousin –which, incest much?! – or you had to defend gamers all over theworld because Yoosung was giving them a bad name with his horrendousgaming habits. Goddamn it, you played LOLOL too, but you knew whereto draw the line. You sighed, reading through the messages from Zenand Jaehee, rolling your eyes when Seven joined in as well. Strangelyenough, he said some things you actually agreed with. “I can’tbelieve I’m saying this, but I think Seven is right”, you wrote,earning yourself a surprised emoji from Seven and a crying one fromYoosung. He’s really cute and somehow you’d fallen in love with him,but sometimes he acted like a huge child. “I only play a singlehour a day and I’m still ranked third on the Shooting Star server, soreally being good doesn’t take a lot of effort.

“Holdon, you’re SediLusiVic”, Seven wrote in reply, followed by aseemingly endless streak of lolol’s. “Yeah, problem?” You weresurprised that Yoosung had grown silent all of a sudden, but figuredhe was just busy with yet another raid or something.“Not at all,dude. It’s just that I’m Hacker God and Yoosung is SupremeYoosung. Wehave the three best players in the world in one chat. Kinda funnylololol.” In that moment you realized why Yoosung had grown sosilent all of a sudden. He was probably trying to digest the sameinformation as you were. You’d been friends with Yoosung for the pasteight years. You’d been the one he’d whined to, the one he made jokeswith, the one he’d waited until midnight to game with. You’d beenwondering why he made you feel so safe and comfortable from thestart! Then you laughed. “Hahahahahaha Yoosung once cried himselfto sleep cause I got an item and he didn’t!” Eight years ofembarrassing stories to share with his friends. Perfect!

♨Jaehee♨

WhenJaehee first picked up Judo it was mainly because she’d seen a moviewhere someone did it and fell in love with the strength…and thepretty uniform. Yes, such thoughts were immature, starting a sportfor the uniforms sake, but in Jaehee’s defense, she’d been only sixyears old at the time. It wasn’t easy at first, since Jaehee wasn’treally the sportive nor the particularly aggressive type. She sooncame to understand though, that Judo was much more about getting toknow and control your body as well as defense more so than offense.It was like a dam had been broken inside of her and a whole new levelof enjoyment was added to the sport. From that point on she gave ither best, improving rather quickly. Merely two years into hertraining she was already fighting with the older children, somethingshe was extremely proud of. It was also then that she met Myung-DaeChang for the very first time.Myung-Dae was different. Forone she tended to not come to practice as regularly as everyone else,something that Jaehee could not stand. On top of that she constantlyseemed distracted. Even when the teacher tried to show them a newmove she was often found staring into the air, mindlessly playingwith her long, wavy hair and smiling at everyone like some sort oflunatic. For years Jaehee tried to keep a distance from that girl, asMyung-Dae tended to freak her out. That was until the teacher pairedthe two of them up and Jaehee had no other choice but to fightagainst her. For all the times she’d assumed Myung-Dae to beirresponsible for not paying attention, thinking to herself thatshe’d easily be defeated in a one on one, Jaehee was proven wrong.

Myungdefeated her so easily it was almost crushing. It all seemed toeffortlessly, the way she moved and reacted. Jaehee didn’t even seethe movements coming and then she was on her back. After the trainingsession she went up to the girl, telling her that she’d done well andwhat her trick was. Myung had turned to her, smiling easily as if thewere friends already. “You take everything too serious, Jaehee.Relaxation is key. If your mind is on edge then so is your body andthat makes you more vulnerable than anything else.” Sadly, shenever got to test out Myungs way of living her life, as soon afterher parents died and Jaehee moved away leaving the dojo and everyoneincluding Myung behind.

♨

Whenyou see Jaehee at the party for the first time you cannot believeyour eyes. During the chat she’d already seemed familiar –everything from the way she talked and acted to the looks – but youcouldn’t have been sure. Not when the pictures were so tiny and hername wasn’t particularly rare. However as she stepped onto that stagethere was no second guessing on your part. This was the young girlthat even back than had been so entirely lost in being perfect andpleasing everyone that she’d gradually killed herself. It hurt toknow that from her teenage years up to that point she’d been stuck inthat very same routine. You’d tried to help her as good as you couldand you were happy that she’d quit that job that made her so unhappyand took years of her life, but at the same time you were worriedabout her future. That was until she pulled you aside and gave you akey that felt more like a key to her heart than it did to a simplecafé. How could you say no?

“Iam so glad that you finally understand what I told you all theseyears ago”, you said, smiling down at the key in your hand. Whenyou looked up Jaehee was frowning at you in confusion until you gaveher that very particular smile and realization dawned on her. “Myung?Your hair and your glasses! You look so different!” You laughed,amused and wholeheartedly. “I could say the same thing about you,funnily enough. But let’s not dwell on such things. Just be happythat it is me you asked to join your team because let me tell youthat I studied art and if there is one thing I can do better thananyone in the world than it is coffee art and decorating a cake.”This time it was Jaehee’s turn to smile, beam actually, and it meltedyour heart. “I can’t wait to see.”

♛Jumin♛

“Asyou know, beneficial relationships are the core of every business ”,Chairman Han said, kneeling in front of his young son so the two ofthem were on eye level. Jumin was uninterested, sitting in his chairas straight as a stick, hoping that his father would finish hisspeech quickly so he could return to reading the book he’d startedthat morning. “You met someone new”, he assumed aloud, neithershocked nor particularly moved.“Something like that. There is abusiness partner of mine coming to town. He’s looking to expand hisbusiness to Korea and maybe settle down here. He’s bringing his wifeand daughter. The girl is your age. I was thinking about invitingthem over to dinner. Maybe you could get to know her a little bit,make a new friend.”

Jumin’sinterest was peaked then. Not because he cared for girls, but becausehe could tell his father did. This was trouble and he knew it. Still,Jumin could hardly deny his father so he’d merely nodded and mentallyprepared himself for the worst. By the time the family arrived he wasin his finest tux, the food being prepared by the best of chef’s withthe house having been cleaned to the point of sterility. Jumin hadexpected a lot of things, but he hadn’t expected her. MadeleineCampbell was well-mannered, quiet and seemingly rather patient.Despite having been forced into the same room, their parents notminding them whatsoever, neither of them really talked. ActuallyJumin mostly ignored her. That was until she sat down beside him, oneof his books in her hand, and began reading herself.

Heforced himself not to look but after some time he couldn’t helphimself, glancing over to see that the book was in English. “Areyou from England”, he’d asked in slightly broken English. Madeleinehad looked up, smiling at him with a nod. “Yes, I am”, she’dreplied, voice melodic with the authentic accent Jumin only everheard in movies. It was amazing. “Will you read the book to me? Ilike the way your voice sounds.” She’d nodded eagerly, beaming atthe boy before beginning to read. It was hours later that theirparents came to check up on the, finding both of them asleep,Madeleine leaning against the headboard with Jumin’s head in theirlap. From that moment on, the two of them were inseparable. So muchso, that their parents arranged a future engagement. Sadly, it nevercame to that as the two families lost touch when Mr. Han met a womanthat did not approve of such ties and ordered them cut. Jumin neverheard of his friend again.

♛

“Myfather will love you, I am sure”, Jumin assured his fiancée, awarm smile curling about his lips. You’d been nervous about meetinghim the entire day now. Actually, you’d been nervous about meetinghim for a week. Jumin had asked you to marry him without asking hisfathers permission first and while he’d assured you that even withoutit his feelings for you wouldn’t change, you couldn’t help but worry.After all, their relationship had already been strained thanks to allthe drama with the Choi sisters. Having him turn up with a suddenfiancée couldn’t possibly be helpful. Still, Jumin insisted and youweren’t capable of denying him anything, really. Especially since hewas more than willing to gave you the world and some more. As youwere lead to your table you saw a familiar face sitting at one ofthem by himself, coming to a sudden halt. “Mr. Chairman,how are you? I haven’t seen you in over a decade”, you said,getting the mans attention. The man instantly got up, shaking yourhand and beaming at you. “Maddy, dear, what a beautiful young womanyou’ve turned into. Don’t tell me it’s you my son told me about”,he said, laughing lightly. That is when your face fell, turning tolook at Jumin who was looking at you with a small, knowing smirk inreturn. “Hanny?!” Back then Jumin had introduced himself as HanJumin, leading you to believe his name was Han, resulting in thenickname Hanny. Your childhood friend, the one your parents hadwanted you to marry to begin with, was now your fiancé Jumin. Well,life sure was ironic. “Hah, I knew the two were a match made byheaven. Call your father. He officially owes me a 10.000.000 Won.”Needless to say that you had Mr.Han’s full and wholehearted blessing.Jumin had never been that delighted over a silly bet in his life.

☼Saeyoung/Seven☼

“Ialways see you after mass, praying by yourself when everyone is longgone. You seem…sad?” The voice, however quiet, surprised him,causing Saeyoung to turn around and look for the source only to finda girl about his age. “I can’t really do much but when I feel sad Igo in there”, she continued, pointing to the confessional. “Youcan tell an adult your worries and he’ll make it better, take awayyour sins.” Saeyoung frowned, looking over at the thing she’dpointed it. To him it was just like the closet his mother tended tolock him into sometimes when she got mad. There was nothing in theworld that would get him to go in there. He shrugged it off, shakinghis head. “I don’t believe in these kind of things. I thought thatpraying to God might help, but so far it hasn’t. It’s illogicalanyway, to believe in God.”

Thegirl blinked then, turning her head to the side and musteringcuriously. “Well, that might be true”, she replied, obviously inthought. “but praying to God is not like a magical cure to yourproblems. That isn’t how it works. God won’t solve your issues foryou. What he can do is give you strength though, to solve themyourself. If that’s not enough, you can ask me for help. I’mdefinitely real so…”, she said, shrugging. She seemed so sincereand Saeyoung seriously wondered what she got out of it. He wanted totell her off, send her away, when suddenly his stomach began togrowl. A little ashamed off it Saeyoung frowned, looking away quicklyas to hide his blush. There was a tap on his shoulder then before asandwich was being held out to him. She put it into his hand andclosed his fingers around it so it wouldn’t fall, smiling sincerely.

“Miyagi,come on. We have to go home, sweetheart.” It was her mother,Saeyoung assumed. Miyagi, so that was her name. “Well, I have to gonow, but I’ll be back here tomorrow. I’ll bring you something betterto eat then. Bye bye.” She ran off and Saeyoung was half convincedhe would never see her again, the thought leaving him strangely sad.He was proven wrong. Day after day she came to him after mass,bringing him increasingly more complicated and delicious food. Henever thanked her properly and when he left to work for the agencywithout a word of goodbye he hated himself a little for it.Especially when heard that mere days later her parents died.

☼

WhenSeven wrote down his real name in the chat your eyes widened.Saeyoung Choi. You’d heard that name before. Now many people wouldargue how over twenty percent of the Korean population shared thesame surname and that Saeyoung wasn’t rare either, but you knewbetter. The name Luciel should have tipped you off already, but nowyou were a hundred percent sure. You dropped your phone and jumpedoff the bed, running out to the main room where Seven was stillsitting in front of the PC, frowning down at the phone after you’d soquickly fled the chat. “Saeyoung Choi? Saeyoung Choi?! I cannotbelieve that you are Saeyoung Choi. We went to church together untilone day you just disappeared. I thought you were dead!” That iswhen Seven put two and two together as well, staring at you with wideeyes. “You? You’re the little girl that brought me food every day.You changed your name!”

Youfroze, tilting your head to the side in confusion. “No, I did not.Mi-Hi Cha.” He shook his head. “No, I remember your mothercalling you Miyagi.” You blinked before bursting into laughter.“Idiot! She called me Mi Agi. It was the pet name she gave me.Miyagi isn’t even Korean.” You couldn’t stop laughing about howsilly of a situation it was to meet your childhood friend that wayand apparently Seven agreed as he joined in. “Damn it. All theseyears I thought you were some nice Japanese girl.” For a while thetwo of you laughed until it eventually died down, the atmosphereturning serious. With tears in your eyes the two of you closed thedistance, pulling each other into tight hugs. Neither of you had everforgotten the other, instead spending a life long worrying only toreunite in such a manner. “I never got to say thank you or returnthe kindness you ave me”, Seven whispered. “So from now you,please accept my body and soul. Agi…”

*Agiis a Korean pet name us as baby (actually meaning toddler and infant)