#don't want this to go into the norm tags but kinda related to it

[dyspunktional-leviathan]

🦊

Whoah,,,

(From this (link): fairly intimidating)

[strangeswift]

I actually think it is important to be be 'controversial' sometimes because it clears your mind. I am speaking from personal experience. After reading same things over and over again in the tag and seeing the same takes, it blurs your mind and it is like you join a caddle. Then you kinda need to step back and think more clearly and reading other takes and readings help you to clear your mind. I've changed my mind on many things because of that and I believe I have a better understanding in things now than before. Like. I am not gonna get blindsided by what happens next on the show because I do not agree with most popular byler takes (that are reaches most of the time). I still read those things but I am open to different or 'controversial' takes and ideas that are not widely accepted by the bylers in the tag.

Hi anon!!!! Oop I went on a rant so hold on lemme put a read more. Warning I talk about byler doubt (just the concept of having doubts nothing specific about it) towards the end.

Okay anon I agree and this makes me feel good about posting opinions that go against the grain. So thank you for saying this, because I'll be real even though I am confident in my takes, sometimes voicing them comes with a level of anxiety. Here's the thing. The tag likes to act like there are certain things we know for sure are going to happen in S5 (byler endgame being the biggest thing obviously, but there are lots of other more specific things, byler related and not) and the truth is: We Don't Know Anything For Sure!! And I think it's wise to be prepared for the possibility that things work out differently than we are expecting. And this goes for fandom discourse as well not just theories like I think the tag is a bit of an echo chamber, like you said. It truly is easy to get sucked it. I've always been extremely skeptical, that's just how I am, and sometimes I forget that just.. not everyone is as skeptical as I am. Don't get me wrong, I have been sucked in before too. There have been instances where I held an opinion, then when I examined it further I realized it was just rooted in the fact that everyone else held that opinion, and I didn't actually agree with it. But generally I take anything and everything with several grains of salt, which is why like you said it's probably good for me to talk about my opinions when they differ from the norm, because it offers an alternative line of thinking. I do keep my mouth shut about most things because I like to be liked, but yk... I also. hmm do I wanna talk about this.. eh fuck it. I think the biggest thing that makes me "controversial" to some people, other than disagreeing with widely accepted theories, is that I have on several occasions voiced my Byler Doubt™️. And honestly there's a reason why I do sometimes talk about it. I realize that there's no point in dwelling on the possibility of byler not happening, it's depressing. And I would never put doubt in the tag or anything like that. But here's my thing. When I was a smaller blog and didn't have the platform I do now, NONE of the big blogs ever EVER expressed any level of doubt. The narrative was "having doubt is bad, endgame is obvious, if you don't find it obvious you are media illiterate, stuck in heteronormativity, or just plain stupid." And I vehemently disagree with that. Frankly? I find 100% confidence to be a little bit unrealistic, but I would never ever think someone is any less intelligent for having 100% confidence! But I digress. My point is, I suspect there are many people, like me, who have doubts and who feel very isolated. Having doubt is literally taboo, which is insane to me. It's cult vibes is what it is. Anyway. Now that I have a big enough platform that I more or less can kind of say what I want and not get blacklisted, I almost feel a responsibility to occasionally be like hey by the way, I have my doubts! Just so people know. Because it doesn't make you stupid. It makes you realistic. Okay rant over sorry <3

[lunarthesupreme]

if anyone is wondering, the COJ judges have no gender, they r non-binary star constellations lol.

bc mostly.... Oh who am I kidding, ALL of them have some sort of trouble with gender in the first place lol

Wrath pretended to be a man to enter the army and got blackmailed by their superior bc they knew wrath wasn't a man and was taken advantage of until wrath finally killed the superior and framed it as a murder from the other country,

Pride had a gender crisis bc they didn't know if they wanted to be a girl/fem or boy/masc and it mattered to them alot bc for some reason, they care for what other ppl think and didn't know what to do until their best friend just tells them it's ok to have no gender/be urself and pride is like "u fuckin genius",

Sloth is mainly masc but they don't really like to apply themselves to the gender norm bc they like dress bc it's so pretty and stuff and likes suits bc it makes them look cool.... Their other personality, Acedia, is leaning more on the fem side, they don't care for gender,

Envy took over the identity of their older sister and sometimes has an existential crisis when they look at their reflection in the mirror bc they themselves don't remember if they were a boy or girl bc they've been pretending for so long now :((((,

gluttony's normal is ur abnormality, while ur normal is Gluttony's abnormality, they really just do whatever they want bc they like being themselves so they mix feminine and masculine fashion onto themselves,

Lust has a very feminine appearance and they like that. They go any way, woman, man, non binaries, whatever, monster, demon... so they definitely do not care about their gender nor anyone's gender at all (minding their business fr),

Greed is canonically very androgynous (same as wrath actually) and they were mistaken as a girl by the savior who saved their people from slavery and was kinda given to the savior by their parents and was like "what." But soon they just end up liking the savior until the savior killed their parents so.... They really don't care about gender either.

In conclusion:

Have trauma/troubles related to gender? Be nonbinary

/joke

(also thanks Lizzy for the oc tag suggestion)

[autumn-foxfire]

Ragdoll works in the office, and Mirio is still on leave. Of course Hawks isn't useless because of this injuries, but I do think if he tried to go for a career outside of it being hero-matters related and outside of something he already has connections with. I don't know if anyone is gonna hire him. Hence 'the useless wandering around' U.A doesn't even seem to require teacher training to teach. Recommendations work like Midnight did with Aizawa. And All Might sure has no teaching degree. 1

I wouldn't be surprised if Hawks ends up spending his time working at the HC full-time, it's like how some kids can immediately start working for their parents company. Or if he ends up teaching the next generation. As sad as I am over him retiring this young, it's whatever. Just how things go, a character doesn't like teaching the protag kids??? No we can't have that. Boom, now that's what your gonna do now. 2

Learn to love them and put all your faith in children because you adults are screwed up and tiny teenagers are gonna save the world over professionals, just your usual shonen stuff. At least they're not eleven years old or five, Naruto did some wack things. Its like when someone who doesn't like the main character ends up begrudingly admiring them after they themselves are turned totally pathetic. 3

I dunno maybe I'm just tired of next gen stuff because my teacher basically said that eventually nothing I do will matter because newer people are going to surpass and replace me because that's just how it works. And as a kid your expected to already be doing crazy impressive things 'look at your friend already going to university at 16' and sometimes that just doesn't happen and seeing the U.A kids in healthy, succeeding enviornments I'm salty and wow this derailed so fast. Sorry bout that. 4

Ah, I forgot about that actually, thanks for pointing out anon (Though I don’t know why she would be any different considering her quirk was search, it’s not exactly offensive in nature). It would be nice for him to focus his energy somewhere else too, maybe find something else to do other then hero work and only return to it when he’s ready. I could also see him taking a job at the HPSC if it really came to it though if he did I think he would also fight for change (or maybe that’s wishful thinking)

I was actually discussing with a friend about how I don’t like Hawks being shifted into the ‘failure generation’ of adults considering he’s only 6/7 years older then the students. He’s been a hero for 5 years tops, he’s a baby compared to other heroes.

Don’t worry about complaining, while I expected it because it’s a shonen manga, I also hate when the fate of the world is placed solely on the teenagers shoulders and the adults are completely shafted to be useless. I kinda hoped BNHA would be another shonen that fought against that norm but it’s not appearing very likely (Goodbye Crust, we hardly knew you, literally.)

Also, to get a bit more personal (I’m not going to put this in the BNHA tags for this reason), your teacher was a piece of shit. I know that probably sounds harsh but someone who tells you your potential is wasted because other people will be better are just bitter. Yes, we as humans now are smarter then our ancestors but it’s only because they laid the groundwork that we managed to succeed as well as we have. Life isn’t a race, hell you might not even want to go to uni and who’s to say the kid that goes at 16 doesn’t look at their degree in the future and think ‘what the hell am I gonna do with this?’.

Maybe it’s cheesy for me to say, but you have made an impact! You sent an ask to me about our shared hobby and made me think about my own opinions on the subject! I wouldn’t say that’s wasting you’re potential in any way! Instead I would say that you’re pretty impressive ^w^

Don’t sell yourself short anon!!

[lesbian-ed]

Hi! So I'm 15 and I live in a VERY homophobic home and town. Anyways, I'm pretty sure I'm a lesbian but I've only dated girls online since I can't come out, i never had a huge crush on girls irl and I'm not sure why? Like I find them attractive and I def want to have a relationship with a girl but??? Idk it's weird like I've had small crushes on girls irl but not big ones so does that mean I'm just imagining things? Also I've never really had any type of crush on a guy and I don't find (1/?)

straight sex that appealing like I don’t get turned on by it when I think of it realistically? ANYWAYS last year my guy friend caught feelings for me and I never liked him until he told me and then I got confused again? And was like am I really straight? Yk like I guess he’s cute and he’s a good person but I just don’t wanna? But then girls are amazing and I really want a gf but I’ve never had a big crush on a girl that was in my life like irl. Like I fell in love with a girl ldr but what (2/3)

if it was just a phase? And sometimes I’m comfortable saying I’m gay but other times I question myself like if im faking it. And I’ve read thru your comp hetro. posts but Idk? And I was just wondering your thought? Sorry if that was confusing. Ps. I’m kinda scared that I’m gay because if I am then I’ll lose my whole family and they are religious so I feel like it’s wrong? Or is that just internalized homophobia? but idk pls help. ALSO THANK YOU FOR EVERYTHING (3/3) 

(Same 15 yr anon as before) I forgot to say awhile ago when I thought I might be bi like when I was 11 or something, my mom flipped her shit when I said I didn’t know who I liked and then she told me I couldn’t hang out with any of my gay friends but yeah. Thanks again

Hi anon!

I don’t know how long ago you sent this because we got a bit backed up on asks. Sorry about that.

I think you can find your answers within your question yourself. But just to simplify them, here’s what I think. It’s bullet pointed for your convenience:

You have been in relationships with girls (even if they are LDR). This just shows that you have an active interest in girls and pursue relationships with them. You know you are attracted to women. 

Being attracted to women doesn’t mean you don’t have eyes and can’t recognize when a man is aesthetically pleasing.

You don’t like the idea of straight sex. You felt uncomfortable when this guy showed interest in you. Yeah, that’s a pretty solid proof that you are not straight at all.

You may not have experienced a real life attraction to a girl. But from the context you’ve given me here, I think it’s more because of the environment you are in rather than actual lack of attraction. Being actually attracted to a girl could put you in danger, so your brain might just shut off that part of itself.

You’ve read through our compulsory heterosexuality tag, which means you have identified what the problem is yourself. It’s pretty normal to have this confusion when you grow up in a religious family. The pressure to confirm to heterosexual norms is higher in religious environments than it usually is.

Given how long you’ve thought about it, I personally think you are a lesbian. But then again, only you can 100% know your sexuality. Also, sexuality is definitely not a phase. 

As for the religious and homophobic family part: I am really sorry you are in this situation. I relate to you so much - it sucks and its scary and makes you feel so uncertain about your future. Your family and this community is the only one you have known all your life and letting go of them is super scary. Growing up in a religious family makes you sacred of being yourself. You are taught that you are a sinner, a guilty and bad person who doesn’t deserve anything. Well, that’s simply not true. Your sexuality does not change your worth as a person.

It’s true that you might have to go through a lot of shit. But you are 15 right now and you have time before that happens. Hopefully you will be able to get away from your family some day and find your own new family. You need to put your safety first though. Keep on the down low and don’t let people suspect your sexuality. It’s important for your own sake. Like you said, your mom flipped out at the idea of you being bi. Her reaction would probably be worse if she found out you are a lesbian. I know waiting till college feels like a long time, but you gotta stay strong sister. Times may be tough, but you are tougher.

/Mod F

[blessedarethebinarybreakers]

Kinda urgent (tho it may not sound it) I'm trans and I watched some videos saying bein trans is a sin. This disturbed me deeply. I'm afraid what if God wants me to stop my transition, or else I won't be able to be with him. If thats what Jesus meant by picking up my cross? I don't want to stop transition at all but I don't want to go against Him either. I'm scared and confused. I don't want to think my gender identity is a temptation from Satan since it's so deeply who I am. (1/2)

(2/2) I feel so distraught and like my world is coming apart. I feel distant from God and fearful of Him rather than knowing His love. I’m scared and I don’t know what to do or how to reconcile my gender identity with Him. It’s making me question my faith, when all I want is to be close to God. I know this may not sound urgent but it’s destroying me inside and I don’t know why. Do you have any thoughts on this whole thing? I’m sorry if this is a bother or not seemingly urgent.

Hi there, anon. I’m sorry those videos shook you so much – I’ve been there. It’s sucks, but it’s okay. You’re okay.

First off, I promise that God loves you so, so deeply. And God made you how you are. Jesus came that we might have fullness of life, not to make us live in fear or so that we might continue to live under the chains of social norms. Because the gender binary is a social norm – and we are called not to conform to the world but to be transformed in Christ.

God does not set ultimatums that force us to chop off pieces of ourselves, or squeeze ourselves into boxes that don’t fit, in order to live with God. This post has a quote from a womanist theologian on how God calls us to wholeness, and what that means for LGBT+ Christians in particular. And here is a post with a string of tweets that show how God loves us as we are – rather than saying, “In order to love you, I must make you into something else,” God says, “I receive you as you are – and I come to help you become your fullest, truest self.”

With all of the above information – that God comes to affirm our fullest selves – we do need to take the concept of carrying the cross into account as well. Luckily, Austen Hartke’s Transgender and Christian series has a video on how being trans is not “Our Cross to Bear.” (If you have trouble hearing videos, let me know and I’ll write out a synopsis of the video for you tomorrow!)

His videos “Self Denial or Abundant Life?” and “Abundant Life AND Self Denial?” are also ones that would help you understand how God calls us to abundance that includes transitioning. (Again, let me know if you need a textual summary of the vids.)

Jesus assures us that we can know sin by its fruit, and we can know goodness by its fruit. So let’s look at the fruits of trying to live as cis when we aren’t, versus the fruits of embracing being trans.

Common fruits of living as cis when we aren’t: depression and anxiety from dysphoria; feelings of isolation from other humans and from yourself; feelings of anger, often against God, and thus a lack of strong relationship with God

Common fruits of embracing being trans: gender euphoria!; renewed energy and feelings of joy and thanksgiving that we can use to serve and connect with others as well as to praise God; deeper understandings of ourselves and new experiences that may shape who we are and give us wisdom; a connection to a marginalized community that helps us develop empathy we can use to serve others.

(Some Austen Hartke vids related to these ideas of good fruit: x, x). 

Embracing being trans bears good fruit, while trying to repress it (as well as transphobia) tends to bear harmful fruit. For more on the idea of good fruit, see this tag. Satan is not “making” you trans, because if that were the case, it would not bear good fruit.

God delights in diversity, anon. We are all made so uniquely, with different gifts to offer. I believe being trans is a part of that – we have a unique perspective to offer others – a unique view on our bodies, our minds and spirits, on the gender binary and harmfulness of gender roles, and more. 

Another video to help calm your worries about physically transitioning, this video by Austen is helpful too. 

Here’s a prayer on transitioning that also might help.

For more resources, including responses to common arguments against trans/LGBT people using Scripture, see the “But what does the Bible say?” and the trans section of our resources page. 

I’m going to post now so you’ll have this; I might add to it tomorrow so keep a lookout for updates. Take a look at the links, and take a moment for some self care. Then, if you have more questions, you are welcome to ask them here! We are here for you anon; you are not alone.