#dont want the site taken down

[bridge-angel-bug]

currently inconsolable (I found much higher quality scans with better translations)

[hjeojeo]

it's...missing smackjeeves hours..

telling myself if no one makes a good alternative for smackjeeves in the next like five years, im gonna start making one myself (only 10% serious)

i just miss like that atmosphere of 100% unmarketable, just comic sharing/making space.

where we all knew that 99% of the time the comics we see will never get finished bc ppl get busy, kids grow up and change interests ,etc. (i mention kids bc most of my memories of smackjeeves was when i was a teen, so it was a significant like developmental years as an artist kind experience for me)

like i remember most of the comics were like

barely legible sketch pages with like text written in mspaint.

there was absolutely no quality standard. and that's why it was so good

it made me as a kid feel like oh i can do comics! cause it can be WHATEVER YOU WANTED IT TO BE AND LOOK HOWEVER WAY.

and the collaborative ones on smackjeeves were so fun to look at

just overall.

having that. rough, crude, unmarketable space for art/comics was significant.

[crotovane]

i started playing tomodachi life and made a yakuza island, this game rules

[finalexpenses]

ohh im gonna kms

[coyoteworks]

if i see anyone else acting like the staff of this site is our friend im gonna have to start taking users out back like old yeller. y’all cannot act like tumblr is the exception to corporations not being people. u can simultaneously acknowledge the importance that they will find ways to make this site profitable without introducing invasive algorithms (checkmarks, crabs) while also understanding that staff have done exceptionally little regarding the racist and transmisogynistic bigotry on this site & have gone out of their way to shoot down blogs calling them out on it. ‘people dont need to justify spending on harmless silly gimmicks’ and ‘its not a good idea to blindly support a team that refuses to act against particular kinds of bigotry on its site’ are ideas that can & should coexist

[nanzyn]

I'm ngl I hate this site and the people running it are making literally all the wrong decisions but there's nowhere else to go so stuck here I am

[vixvaporub]

Hi! Where are you reading boys run the riot?

If you message me or send an ask off anon I'll let you know

[angelyuji]

Hi! Um, do you watch The Boys on Amazon Prime or you watch it online? I don´t find it anywhere :(

hey! i watch it on amazon prime! i do have a site that might have it tho! idk how this site feels abt piracy tho… so dm me and ill send u the link!

[diamond-rings-and-gutter-bones]

listen up y'all

what are you gonna do now that soap2day is gone? you are gonna find yourself another free site to watch things on, thats what. *how* are yall gonna do that? im gonna tell you, **as long as you have an adblocker** (if you use firefox there are a bunch of good ones ive used but currently i recommend adblocker ultimate)

1. google "watch [movie/show] for free online". a list of sites will come up. some are illegal streaming sites. some are not. you figure out which is which mostly by clicking on them

2. if nothing useful comes up, scroll to the bottom of the page. check page 2 of google search results

3. if *that* doesnt work, scroll back to the bottom of page 1. therell probably be some bs disclaimer about them removing search results because of copyright claims, and itll provide a list of the complaints. click on one of these complaints

4. after being taken to the complaint page, scroll down to where it says "allegedly infringing urls" and copy+paste those urls, one by one, to see if any work. in all likelihood one or two will but most wont. rinse and repeat with each "complaint" link until you find one that works and doesnt seem likely to take control of your computer or something

5. when youve found a site, dont go blasting its name all over the internet, for the same reason im not just *telling* you the sites *i* use. yeah, share it with your friends and family, but you dont want to draw more attention to it. this might just be me being a bit paranoid but whatever

[katiesyellowcardcollection]

ill call your mom

trigger warnings - lots of mentions of suicide and the thoughts od doing, bad mental health. please dont read if you feel you cant handle this.

AN: this was written in one siting, not the best just me getting my own feelings out in a fic of some sort

Happiness.  

You're not sure the last time you felt true happiness, maybe when you signed for arsenal when you were 10, maybe when you made your senior debut 7 years later or maybe when you were first called up to England, but you weren't happy now, you hadn't felt true happiness in such a long time that you're not sure what it feels like. You weren't sad either though, you were just empty, disconnected from the world, your family, your teammates.  

You think it's how you've ended up here, curled up in your wardrobe, pills in front of you, you're not entirely sure what pills you've even picked up, you just grabbed every single one in the medicine cupboard that Beth and Viv had been stocking up for you since your injury.  

Your injury.  

It had come at the worst possible time, you were on your way to winning the wsl with Arsenal, on the form of your life, the world cup was just round the corner and everything you'd worked so tirelessly for had come crushing down from a movement you'd done thousands of times in your career.  

You think of that day now as you swallow the pills, you think of the days leading up to it, how you hadn't been feeling quite right, Jonas wanted you to come off minutes before the injury you'd refused and then there was the pop followed by an indescribable pain, pain you'd never felt before and then nothing. You knew as it happened that your world Cup dreams were over, your season was over, everything was over.  

You think of the days after, when you couldn't get out of bed, you couldn't cry, you couldn't feel anything, you haven't felt anything since your mind constantly frozen on that night, on the movement of your knee, one movement that had ruined everything.  

Football was your lifeline, it was all you had ever known, growing up in sporty family you'd been kicking a ball since you could stand, joining a team when you were just 5 year, up until that night there hadn't been a day go past when you hadn't kicked a ball or been out on the grass doing some kind of training drill. When you were being bullied as kid, football was how you coped with it all, when the shouting and slamming doors got too much you had football and when you needed football the most you didn't have it, you didn't have an escape.  

You were struggling to breathe now, gasping for air you couldn't breathe, and you didn't care, you were content with dying, leaving everything behind, your teammates, football that was really all you had, you wondered if anyone would truly care, if your death would leave them unsettled you think your teammates would be upset but you didn't think your death would life altering for them, they only care because they have to, because your their teammate and they have to care to some extent.  

You were losing consciousness now, you hadn't expected for it to happen this quickly for the side effects of the pills you'd taken to work this fast, as you faded in and out of consciousness you felt nothing but relief, it was a feeling you'd been craving for since your injury, previously you thought youd feel relief when you stepped on the pitch for the first time since the injury, except you hadn't felt anything, not relief or joy instead it was almost like a chore being subbed on, two years after you'd first tore your acl, two years of hell, two years begging to run again, two years of wanting nothing more than to be on a pitch again, yet you felt nothing as you high fived Leah letting you onto the field again, both sets of fans applauding your return back. it was like your injury had stripped everything good about you away from you, turning you into the silhouette of the girl you used to be.  

in hindsight you should've known that Viv would come knocking when you didn't show up for dinner forgetting she owned a key to your apartment, you should've realised that when you ignored your teammates numerous calls and texts that they would come running, always wanting to help the people they loved most.  

You could hear distant banging, desperate pounding at your door, then the click of a lock, your lock, then the shouts of your teammates screaming your name, the urgency in their voices becoming clearer. 

You're not sure how they knew that something was seriously wrong, maybe it was instinct or the way your bathroom had been torn apart, the beer bottles that were scattered around your living room or maybe it was your silence.  

You should feel someone shaking you, this wasn't death, you could feel the floor of your wardrobe, the clothes hanging up above you, you weren't meant to be back here.  

You were supposed to be dead.  

You could hear someone screaming at you begging you to open your eyes. 

“Oh god y/n wake up for me” 

They were crying and shouting for help, shaking your fragile body, you wish that they would stop and shut up for one second, but you couldn't speak, you couldn't move, you were just led there, listening to their desperate cries for help.  

You wish you had taken more at that second; you didn't want to have to deal with your teammates finding out, talking about your feelings, you didn't want that, you wanted to be dead there was nothing more you wanted at that moment.  

.........................................................................................................................

You woke up to beeping, loud harsh beeps, wires wrapped around your body, you wished you were mistaken, you wished so desperately that this was some kind of afterlife and not a hospital.  

A hospital meant you were still alive and still breathing.  

It meant it hadn't worked.  

Youd failed. Failed at something else again.  

You couldn't even kill yourself right.   

“Hiya y/n” You heard Viv whisper out.  

Slowly you opened your eyes, you noticed the bodies of your teammates laid out on chairs, each with the same concerned facial expressions, they smiled up at you. You turned your focus to Viv, she was sitting next to you holding your hand, you realised, she gave you a sympathetic look, you could see the worry in her eyes, she'd always been a worrier, always wanting to make sure the people she loved most were okay.  

“Why am I not dead.” 

You croak out, wincing as you do so your throat hurting. 

your words hung in the air for a few minutes, none of your teammates quite sure how to respond to such a question. In their minds the answer was easy, you weren't ready to die, you had a life worth living for, you were the most loving, thoughtful person, they knew how could someone so young and ‘innocent’ want to not be here anymore, not want to do life anymore.  

It was Katie who spoke first, her accent thicker than normal, her face full of worry.  

“Because you have a life here with us kiddo, life is so much more than what you may think it is, you still have so much left to do before you leave y/n.” 

You're not sure why or how but her words bring you to tears, she hadn't said anything groundbreaking, yet here you were moved to tears for the first time in two years, you hadn't cried since the night of your injury.  

You can feel Viv rubbing your back as you continue to let out tears, you're sobbing now, everything that had happened to you in the past two years coming out, everything the club psychologist had tried to get you out was spilling out of you, the thoughts of your teammates witnessing this sent you into another set of tears, you didn't want them to see you like this, you were a mess, you didn't want them knowing just how much you were struggling.  

Viv seemed to have sensed this as she forced everyone out of your hospital room leaving just you and her.  

She didn't say anything at first, she just continued rubbing your back, whispering soft Dutch words to you in hopes to calm you down slightly, remembering when you had a Panick attack before you made your debut that speaking in her native language had help you to calm down.  

Eventually your sobbing eased off and all that could be heard was your heavy breathing.  

“What happened y/n?”  

You're not sure how to answer that question truth to be told you didn't know, you remember grabbing the pills and swallowing them, but you don't remember what had switched that evening why you'd decided to go through with it.  

You had thought of doing it before, but you were always too scared to actually follow through, you'd written notes, gathered the supplies but you'd never put the plan into place before and you're not sure why you decided that today you would actually follow through.  

“I don't know” 

She just shakes her head in response.  

“You do sweetheart, you don't just try to kill yourself” 

You nod in agreement, she's right someone doesn't just do it, there has to be things leading up to it, you're just not sure why tonight, what had happened today that left you so ready to leave  

“I've been thinking about it for a while Vivi just today I actually tried I don't know I'm sorry.” 

“You don't have to say sorry kiddo, your still here and that's what matters the most to me, to us, were going to help you through this alright darling, I love you so much.” 

She says removing her hands of your back and going in for a hug, kissing your head as she does so.  

[misserabella]

stray. pt1

joel miller x fem! reader

next chapter >

summary; after saving Joel and Ellie from the brink of death, you get caught with having to live with two more strays…, and you don’t do strays.

REMINDER: english is not my mother language so i apologize if there are some mistakes <3 !¡ either ways, i hope y’all like it. <3

REPOSTS AND COMMENTS ARE VERY MUCH APPRECIATED!<3

warnings; eventual +18 content! MINORS DONT INTERACT IN THE CHAPTERS WHERE IT IS IMPLIED IN THE WARNINGS. and smut, mentions of death, possible deaths, blood, fighting, angst, fluff…

warnings for chapter 1; guns, blood, fighting, clickers, wounds, weapons, threats, mentions of sleeping pills, tension, arguing, cursing…

Please, under no circumstances, repost my work on any other sites. I do not consent to anyone taking my work and posting it as their own.

Joel should have known it was too good to be real. Too silent, too calm, too safe…

The building was old, in ruins in this world that was left for dead in between the slaughter and the blood, the floors filled with dust and with holes every now and then. Ellie had been too focused on playing with the things she could find, completely unaware of the danger that slowly creeped on them through the dark, just like Joel, who was unable to focus due to Ellie’s rambling.

It was only a mere instant, a fucking second. A wrong turn, a step that almost costed him his life. And before he knew he was struggling with a clicker that bit into the air, mere inches away from his face, it’s claws making him bleed as he tried and push him away. He had jumped in the moment he saw it going for Ellie, ready to pounce, ready to turn her to shreds.

“Step back!” he screamed at her, pushing her a side to protect her. “Shit.” he mumbled as he found himself losing the battle to the monster. It was too strong.

Think, Joel, think. There must be a way. And he knew what it was, but he couldn’t reach his fucking gun since it had been thrown away from him and into the direction of another clicker that had been lured to them by the noise.

“Joel!” Ellie screamed, but was taken aback when he stared at her as she tried and step closer to help.

“Ellie, ru-“ he was ready to let her go, ready to tell her to run and never look back. In the end, there was always deaths, there were always forgotten lives ripped apart from this fungus.

But his voice died in his throat when the clicker that he was barely holding back dropped dead to his feet, the other on his right screeching before running towards him, but he was late, meeting the same fate as the other infected.

Ellie and Joel turned their heads to the bullet’s direction, the shots rumbling in the walls and making goosebumps rose.

“Get down!” and then there was this girl, shouting at them, pointing them with the same gun that had just saved them and looking at them with the same fire and hatred that he had looked at those monsters.

Joel rose his arms and Ellie followed. Although it was only for an instant that she seemed to give up, in just a second letting out an ‘ouch’ as she had extracted her knife from her sleeve, ready to fight, but being met by a bullet against the metal, sending her knife meters away from her and leaving her with no scratches.

“Get the fuck down!” the girl, who had now stepped onto the light that seeped through the windows repeated, this time more serious, cocking her gun, her finger in the trigger ready to kill them if that was what she needed to do.

You squinted slightly when the sun hit your face, your eyes quickly adapting as you looked at the pair get down on their knees with both their hands up in the air.

You should have killed that little brat for just the mere though of trying to hurt you, but it had been a long time since you had stumbled across someone not infected in a long time, and you wanted to see what the hell was their deal. Travelers? FEDRA?

“Show me your fucking arms.” you ordered, pointing the gun at the man on your left, who was bleeding.

He groaned in pain as he lifted the sleeves of his shirt, showing you his brown and sculpted arms full of scars and new slashes that gushed the crimson of his blood. Scratches. And they were deep. No bite marks. No signs of possible infection.

“You. Brat.” you pointed at her next, and you felt the man tense up, what made your skin crawl. “Show me your arms.” she was pale, ghostly even, looking between you and the man beside her, a terrified look in her eyes. You sighed, firing a bullet at her, passing her by the ear by just mere centimeters, but still scratching her cheek enough to let a fresh drop of blood decorate her face. Joel’s breath hitched when you cocked your gun once again, pointing directly in between Ellie’s eyes. “Next time I won’t miss.” you promised, certain.

Ellie understood that there was no running from that situation. She closed her eyes and, with her tiny trembling hands, rose his sleeves. That’s when you saw it.

“I fucking knew it.” you said, stepping closer until the gun was pressed directly to her head.

Ellie inhaled a deep cold breath, his eyes tightly closed. You were going to kill her, and she knew it.

“No, wait.” the man beside her spoke and you rolled your eyes as you looked at him.

“Are you fucking stupid? Walking around with an infected? What were you going to do when she started twitching, huh? Put her on a collar and walk her around like a dog?” Ellie let out a scared little sound when you pushed the gun further onto her skin.

“It’s different. She’s different.” he promised, slowly creeping closer to the two of you.

“Oh yeah sure, as if I hadn’t hear that before.” you scoffed, sarcasm dripping off your tone. “Sorry. Is nothing personal.” you said to the girl before your finger started to push against the trigger.

“She’s immune!” Joel screamed, making you stop. “The bite mark. Is a few days old. She doesn’t get infected. She’s immune.” he said more slowly, as if he was trying to calm you down, convincing you of not staining the dusty floor with that kids innocent blood.

You harshly tugged on her arm, analyzing the skin, the bruising. He was right, it wasn’t fresh. And there were more scars in the same arm, but no rest of the spread. The vines that had internally started to grown under her skin fading just a mere centimeters towards her biceps, and then, soft untouched skin. She had fought the infection.

You couldn’t believe it. And Ellie although she understood your fear, still groaned in pain when you tested her by pinching her skin with a needle on her neck. The green light made it easier to breath for you. The retracting of your gun made it for Joel and Ellie too.

You silently and a little harshly tested the man, who only flinched the slightest. Green. They were clean. That kid… was immune?

That was when your shoulders seemed to relax, your lips letting out a sigh that you didn’t knew you had been holding in.

Ellie and Joel looked at each other, and he nodded at her, promising her: we’re fine.

“You, kid.” Ellie’s hands struggled to catch her knife, which you had folded to securely throw it at her. Joel didn’t seem to have the same problem with his gun, taking it swiftly in the air.

You then inspected the zone, there didn’t seem to be any more clickers around. Your hand laced around a water bottle that stood on your backpack’s side pocket, taking it to drown a sip of cold water that made your muscles ache for more, for a rest.

Joel and Ellie slowly stood up as you rested against a wall of the building, a walkie-talkie sizzling on your pocket and a voice mumbling something as you took it out.

“Found a man and a kid at the hospital. They are clean.” you talked into the little artifact. Joel shoved Ellie, who looked at it with shiny and curious eyes. “What?” you suddenly inquired at something that had came through the line. “No. Have you lost your mind? We can’t.” you were back straight in your feet, listening to who Joel suspected might be a friend or a companion of yours. “Larry, you don’t understand- I know that. Yeah, but there are not enough-… I know.” you said. “I know…” you repeated again, this time softer, your voice lower. You sighed and looked up to the ceiling as ‘Larry’ said something more through the walkie-talkie. “Fine.” you groaned. “But it’s on you. I’m not taking responsibility.“ you hissed onto the speaker and then shoved it on your pants once again.

You turned around and started walking, rolling your eyes and looking back with you arms raised in exasperation. “Are you guys coming? Or do I have to give y’all my hand too?” you mocked them, and Ellie was going to follow you, but Joel stopped her.

“What the hell do you think you’re going?” his husky voice growled.

“Dude. She just saved our fucking asses! Like literally.” she frowned, raising her hands.

“Yeah you’re right. Let’s follow a complete fucking stranger to God knows where!” he sarcastically scoffed and Ellie gave him a death stare.

They were like fucking kids.

“You know I can hear you, right?” you sighed and they looked at you. God, this was going to be a fucking nightmare. You could already feel a headache creeping in. “Look. It’s not safe here. Listen to the freak.” Ellie frowned when you pointed at her, letting out a ‘hey!’ that you ignored as you looked at the man. “How much water do you have left? Do you have any food at all?” you scoffed when they didn’t answer. “If you don’t come with me, you will not survive. Not here. You’re in the danger zone. And that…” you pointed at the two clickers dead onto the ground. “Was a close call.”

Joel didn’t answer, didn’t even mutter a word and you rolled your head as you gave them your back once again. “Fine. At least I tried.” you shrugged. Better for you. You didn’t like company. You did good on your own. You didn’t need anyone. And surely didn’t need them. Larry could cry about it.

“Why are you doing this?” your feet came to a stop when he finally spoke up, his eyes untrusting and rough on you. You couldn’t complain, you looked at him the same way.

“I have this nut job of a friend who likes to take care of strays a little bit too much.“ you smirked. “I don’t. So if you’re not coming, don’t bother me.” you said, and as you started to walk again. This time, they followed.

-

“Fucking hell, that door gets heavier every day.” you muttered as you opened the metal door after having unlocked it with the code.

The three of you had walked along for a couple of miles before coming to a stop in a town more into the woody side. Joel had caught on pretty quickly but it still took him by surprise. It was like going back to Bill and Frank’s little paradise, though this one was much bigger, fuller, brighter…

You locked the door once Ellie had stepped inside, just right after Joel, turning on the high voltage and the alarms of the fence that you made sure to check twice every night before guarding for any new infected that could have made their way though the multiple traps that surrounded the little fortified town.

“y/n is back!” a little kid suddenly screamed, and before you knew it you were swarmed in by toddlers that hung too tightly to your legs and glued you to the floor.

So…, y/n.

Joel and Ellie stepped back just the slightest, overwhelmed by the enthusiasm of the little kids, who surrounded you from everywhere. They were not much, around five, but they were really talkative and enthusiastic.

“I’ll go tell Larry!” one of the bigger kids ran away, entering a white house filled with flowers in between stomps.

You couldn’t fight the smile that appeared on your face when they started to ask questions about your little trip.

“You were gone for so long!” a little blonde girl pouted. Rose, one of the youngest of the new generation who always clutched this rabbit plushie you had made her out of worn out clothes.

“I’ve only been away for three days.�� you said in a whisper, kneeling down to have them at your own height. “And you know what? Look what I found!” you unhooked your bag pack from your shoulders, rummaging inside to find little toys and new clothes that you had found on the mall a few hours away from the town.

Joel was taken back by your sudden demeanor, you looked so rough around the edges, so cold, so serious… That he surely wasn’t expecting it to be any different in any ambit of your life. And yet there you were, smiling, talking softly, no tension in your body, no fear shaking your bones…

The kids screamed in joy. New toys always seemed to brighten them up. They always looked forward to your arrivals, always eager to know what had happened, if you had had to fight any infected…

Who Joel supposed was that known Larry with which you had talked though the walkie-talkie, came out of the house with a little girl in between his arms, heading towards you and the kids, which were now looking at the gifts that you had brought them.

“y/n!” your head rose when you heard that little and sweet voice, your chest fluttering when the little kid that Larry carried touched the floor and ran towards you. You reached out for her, picking her up as you came back to your feet with a smile. “You’re back!” she smiled at you with her big green shiny eyes, her long and dark hair tickling your neck as she hugged you with her tiny arms.

“I’m back.” you said in just a mere mumble. Feeling like you could finally breath. “Was Larry good to you? Do I have to kick his old ass?” she laughed at your question, while Larry, who had finally reached all of you, gave you a dirty look.

“Remind yourself who you’re talking to, kid.” he warned, but still smiled as he pulled you into a hug. “I’m glad you’re back.”

“I always come back.” you said, but you could still feel his relief. He was always unsure to let you go to the exterior, even though he knew you were capable and that you were strong, he always cared. He had raised you after all. Just like one of her daughters. Even if you and Lizzy weren’t real sisters. Even if you weren’t of his blood like she was, you were still his family, you were still his daughter and Lizzy was still your sister.

“Who are they?” Lizzy suddenly asked in a whisper, still loud enough for Joel and Ellie to hear, who had been completely silent since they had crossed the doors that welcomed them to the safe zone you and the town had worked on so hard to build.

“Just a couple of strays.” you said, and there it was, that detached tone, that coldness, that rough eyes. “You know how much your daddy likes them, isn’t that right Larry?” you mocked him, to which he simply rolled his eyes.

“Mmmh…” Lizzy hummed, muttering a ‘she’s pretty’ towards Ellie, who looked at her and couldn’t help to smile.

“Nice to meet you, I’m Larry.” Joel took his hand when offered, giving him a good shake as he spoke up for the first time in what it seemed to he hours.

“Joel. And this is Ellie.”

“It’s nice to meet you Ellie.” Larry smiled, and she nodded, mumbling a ‘nice to meet you’ as well. “I’m sorry that you had to walk so much to get here. Do you need anything? Water? Food?”

“Larry.” your voice was cold, warning. You were a lot on the town, and this season it hadn’t been easy. The harvest hadn’t been as successfully as the previous ones. Nothing to fear, though, you still had enough, but Larry gave too much all the time, and you cared. He simply ignored you.

“We’re al-“ Joel was about to negate the offer, but Ellie’s tummy rumbled so loud you almost had to choke a laughter. He looked at her with a scowl that only made her get defensive.

“I’m sorry!” she awkwardly smiled, whispering at him.

“Let’s go. I have some meat cooking in the kitchen, and some eggs to fry too.” Larry said, giving them a wave with his hands so they could follow.

“Larry!” you called out to him again, and this time he looked at you with a more severe look in his eyes. You scoffed. “Fine. Do whatever the fuck you want, I’m going to take a fucking shower.” you said, and you gave Lizzy one last hug before letting her feet touch the floor and walk away after a quick goodbye to the kids.

“I’m sorry for that.” Larry apologized as you became smaller in the distance. “Then, shall we?” and then he was smiling once again, pointing towards his house for them to tag along.

You cursed under your breath, not looking back as you took a turn, even if you could still feel eyes boring into the back of your skull.

-

Larry was a gentle old man that reminded Joel of Frank. He was sweet, attentive…

He also cooked really good.

Ellie was now onto her second plate, having asked for more after devouring the first. Joel was dragging it out. He didn’t like to hung onto people’s kindness. He knew that this people must work really hard to just survive, he didn’t like the idea of not being able to give them nothing in exchange for their welcoming.

The slamming of the front door made Larry know that you were back, already putting down a plate for you. When you stepped into the kitchen you didn’t even look at those already sat down at the table. Joel took in your still wet hair, braided up for more comfort, your clean new clothes and face (which you had freed of all dust and dirt) and your bandaged hands, from where your knuckles bled through.

“What’s this?” you hissed when Larry took your hand, which was swollen under the bandages. “What have I told you, huh? You can’t keep training like this, y/n.” you waved his touch away.

“I’m fine. Just a little rusty. It’ll stop bleeding soon.” you gulped down a glass of fresh water.

You tried your best to make it as if you couldn’t feel the two strangers looking at you. Joel and Ellie, you remembered.

“Are you hurt?” Lizzy said, strawberries in her plate all chopped up for her to not choke.

“No baby, I just scratched myself a little bit.” you took your plate, sitting onto the kitchen counter, like you always did despite Larry’s bickering to eat. You were half down your scrambled eggs when you rolled your eyes, sighing in annoyance. “What is it that you want?” you inquired at Larry, who frowned.

“I’ve not said anything.”

“You haven’t. But I know you want something for the seasoning.” you pointed at your eggs. “You always season them when you want something.” and it was true, seasons were expensive. So he always used them up on special occasions.

He fell silent, and you looked at him with rose eyebrows.

“I need you to let Ellie and Joel stay at your place.”

The silence was lethal. So cold it made Ellie shiver. There was tension in the air, you were not happy.

You let out a curt sarcastic scoff. “Yeah, no fucking way.” you said, going back to your eggs.

“y/n-“

“No.”

“You know I wouldn’t ask you this if I had spare rooms, but I don’t…” he sighed.

“And I do?“ you scoffed, letting aside your eggs.

“Lizzy baby, can you please go eat the rest of your fruit to the salon?” Larry inquired to his daughter, not wanting her to hear your bickering. She nodded and took his little bowl.

“Are you coming, Ellie?” she asked the girl, who looked at her surprised at first with those shiny eyes of hers. After Joel nodded at her and she nodded back at Lizzy, who gave her one of his hands and led her out of the kitchen.

“y/n…” he tried once again but you let aside your plate.

“I don’t have any spare rooms.” you interrupted.

“But you do!” he softly said, as he always did.

“I don’t. There’s my room and Laura’s room, when she gets back…”

“She’s not coming back, y/n. You know that.” you looked at him, hurtful eyes taking Joel by surprise. It was the first time he saw vulnerability in you. Even if he hadn’t known you for long… He knew that this was something he shouldn’t be witnessing, shouldn’t be able to see. This was private. This was yours. “Lau-“

“Don’t say her fucking name.” you growled, poison falling from your lips.

“She is gone, baby…” you slapped his hand away when he tried and cup your cheek. You felt the sting of tears into your eyes. “y/n…”

“You’re a dick, Larry.” you muttered as you got back on your feet. “You always do this. Why is it with you and your fucking strays, huh?” you pushed on his chest, and he took your bloody hand to press it against his heart. “I don’t want any of them anymore. I’m sick of it.” you mumbled under your breath.

“I know, I’m sorry…” he sincerely said, letting you go when you flinched away from his touch.

You straightened up and looked at Joel, who silently stood as a mere expectant.

“Let’s go.” you said, your eyes going back to cold stone as you walked out of the kitchen. “You, kid. Move.” you called out to Ellie, who was sharing fruit with Lizzie. You gave her a good night kiss, promising to see her tomorrow as you opened the door to leave your ‘father’ ’s house.

They stepped outside after saying thank you to Larry, who only nodded and offered Joel a clean change of clothes before you left, leaving you to find something for Ellie’s at your place since all Lizzie’s clothes would be too small for her.

You walked down a few houses until getting to a short building, where your little flat stood. It was old, so old that you had to rattle with the lock before the door would creak open, but it was clean, and welcoming. It felt like home. Something that surprised the couple of outsiders since you didn’t look like someone who would decorate your house this much. There were even fresh flowers on the dining table.

Ellie looked at everything with a shine in her eyes. She had always lived in a shitty cell-like room when she stayed with FEDRA, and Joel’s apartment was not really pretty to be honest…

So this was new, different, pretty…

“Bathroom to your right, rooms to your left.” You pointed at the white closed doors as you explained. The kitchen was connected to the salon, leaving a really open space framed by covered windows. “Don’t touch anything.” you said as you looked Ellie reach for the book shelf right beside the entrance. “If you need water, the tank is right beside the fridge. You can use the bathroom as you like, but leave it as you found it. Don’t touch the shelves. The things there are not mine.” you said in such a lifeless tone…

For them this could feel like home. For you? This was hell.

“Brat.” you called for Ellie, who frowned and remembered you her name. “Yeah, like I care.” you said moving towards one of the rooms. “Come with me, let’s find something for you to change onto. You two stink.” you said, and as if they shared the same brain cell, they both sniffed their clothes as you turned around.

Ellie stood close to the door when you went into what it seemed to be your room. It was plain. White. With no personality, no personal effects more than a couple of books, notebooks and two polaroid photos glued to the wall beside your bed. She couldn’t see who where on them due to the distance though.

“Here.” you gave her a pair of underwear, a t-shirt, a pair of sweats and a jacket along with a pair of fussy socks to battle the coldness of the night. “You don’t have your period, do you?” you inquired her with no interest at all.

“Uhmm, no.” he shook her head. “Not right now.” you nodded.

“There are some tampons and pads on the bathroom sink if you need them.” she nodded, unable to thank you since you were already out of the room.

Joel was inspecting the walls when you came back. There were a lot of drawings, art pieces and photos hanging from them. The paintings seemed pretty professional, but they were not from any famous artist that he could recognize, so he figured you or someone else might have painted it. You appeared on most of the photos. There was you with Lizzy and Larry… You and the kids of the town. You and…

“So, this is what we’re going to do.” you pulled his attention from the photos back to you. “I’ll take the couch. You both take my room. The bed is big enough for the two of you to fit.”

“What about that room?” Ellie pointed towards the door further to her left, next to yours. Your gaze hardened as you looked away.

“That room is off limits.”

They both fell silent, at least for a couple of minutes until Ellie awkwardly let out a little joke to break the ice —that didn’t seem to help— and made her way towards the bathroom, shutting the door behind her.

You didn’t gave Joel a single look, getting yourself onto the kitchen and getting a pot full of water ready to boil to make yourself some tea. You were fucking exhausted. You hadn’t slept for the last three days, always on guard ready to fight if some clickers would attack. And even if your eyes begged for you to close them and rest, your mind would never shut up, always keeping you awake.

You hoped this time the tea would work. You always hoped it would.

“I can’t let you take the couch. I’ll take it.” Joel suddenly said. It was the first time you two talked, alone.

You scoffed. “Yeah sure, as if you will be able to sleep shit there.” you turned to face him, your arms crossed over your chest. “Believe me, I’m doing you a favor. And either ways, what would I do, share bed with that…, kid? God I don’t even know what she is. No fucking way.” you said.

“Why don’t you sleep on the other room then? If you don’t, you won’t sleep either on that couch.” he said, and he seemed to have made a mistake by the way your whole body stiffened up.

“Just take the fucking bed, Joel.” you said and gave him your back once again, putting the tea herbs onto the water. He was about to speak again, but Ellie came out of the bathroom with a dazed and happy look on her face.

“That was amazing! There’s hot water!!!” she said, your clothes looking still a little big on her. But it’d do.

“I’m going to change the bed sheets. Finish up with the bathroom and give me all your dirty clothes to wash them up tomorrow morning.” you said as you got lost into the bedroom once again. And even if he tried, Joel’s eyes went back to that photo that had caught his attention since the very first second. A photo where you looked younger, healthier, brighter… Where you looked happier. Beside a girl that he hadn’t met yet. And probably never would.

-

It was late at night when Ellie had fallen asleep in between your comfy and warm sheets. Her wounds all cleaned up and her hair perfectly brushed. By the way she hadn’t moved even once in about three hours you expected her to sleep through the entire night without problems.

You had given the first-aid kit to Joel without a word. And he had taken it with the same silence standing in between the two of you.

You were sitting on the little balcony through the crystal doors on your salon. A cigarette in between your lips. How had you got them? It was a secret. You were sipping at your tea, looking down to the desolated streets. The lights were already out, saving energy in the night time, and the stars where shining so hard you swore you could get lost in them.

You exhaled smoke when you heard the chair in front of you move, who you supposed was Joel sitting in silence beside you.

He had taken out his own cigarettes, lighting up one and filling up his lungs with its smoke.

It seemed like hours after he finally spoke.

“Thank you.” your head turned to face him. He was looking at you with those serious brown eyes of his. He cleared his throat and looked away. “For uh…, everything.” you stared at him, no words leaving your lips. You nodded and went back to what you were doing before getting lost on your train of thought.

You unwrapped the bandages of your hands, the blood on them sticking to your skin as you ripped them off your new cuts and wounds.

It was always like this. You would get too far. Punch too strong. Do too much. And then it came the patching up, the bleeding, the pain…

The difference was that not a long time ago there was someone there for you to help you, to tell you to not overwork yourself, to clean your wounds for you… But now. It was just you and the silence of your solitary home.

You had extracted from your backpack new bandages and alcohol that you had found on the hospital where you had saved those two. A pair of scissors helping you cut the dressings to pieces.

Joel simply stared at you though the silence, though your curing, though your little flinches and hisses…

“You know… Staring too much at people is rude.” you said, finally speaking, finally letting him hear your voice for the first time in hours. You were like a ghost in your own home. Silent. Cold. Detached. Alone.

“You are rude either ways so I don’t care.” he answered, and you squinted your eyes at him. “Why do you do that?” he inquired.

“Do what?”

“That.” he pointed at your newly bandages hands, and you understood the real answer hidden under his words.

“Does it matter?” you asked him.

“No. I guess it doesn’t.”

“Good, ‘cause you are not my dad to lecture me.”

“I’m not old enough to be it.” he defended himself.

“If that’s what helps you sleep at night…” you shrugged. How old could he be? He was probably around his forties. Maybe fifties. He could probably almost catch Larry. You could see it on the white sparks on his hair, and the lines on his rough face.

“Staring too much is rude.” he threw your punch back at you, and you sighed in annoyance, taking a hit of your cigarette.

“Whatever. As you said, I’m already rude, so I don’t care.” he couldn’t help the little scoff that left him. You were smart. And knew how to bite. Also, you seemed clearly young, probably younger than what he was when the outbreak first happened, at his 32 years old.

You could feel his eyes on you, so you turned around to face him. You stood there, both staring at each other in complete silence. He was clean, his wounds bandaged up and already been taken care of by his expert hands. Larry’s shirt was a little bit tight on him, the muscle on his arms tightening the sleeves when he would cross them across his chest. His fingers held the cigarette to his lips, his grayish hair being blown just the slightest by the cold breeze of the night.

You finished off your cigarette right before he did, and took a sip of your almost cold tea, your eyes still completely open and awake. You knew this would be a very long night.

“You ain’t gonna go to sleep? You need more hours than us the young people, you know.” you inquired him as you lighted another cigarette.

He shook his head with a sarcastic smirk.

“I’m fine.” you nodded and fell into silence once again. It wasn’t uncomfortable, but neither comfortable at all. “Does this happen often to you?” he caught your attention and you frowned, not understanding. “Not being able to sleep.” your eyebrows perked up, surprised.

“Uhmm, yeah, I guess.” you mumbled, shrugging. “I’ve tried everything. Nothing ever worked for me.”

“I’ve got some pills if you want.” you looked at him with a stoic expression. “I too suffer insomnia. I got them from a guy I knew at FEDRA. They’re just sleeping pills.” he cleared it up once he had realized he had sound like a drug dealer.

You thought about it.

You looked at the pills once he had taken them out of his pocket, they were small and white, with a little moon shaped on them.

“I don’t do pills.” you said. You hadn’t had the courage to try them. Not if that meant that you would fall asleep and dream. “Thank you. But i’m fine.”

You couldn’t dream anymore. Not of that moment, not of…

“It’s alright.” he nodded, seeing the way your face had dropped. “But if you change your mind, just ask me.” you nodded, still looking at him.

You could sense that Joel didn’t speak much. That he was rough around the edges. But you had noticed too that Ellie had softened him out a little bit. He might look annoyed by that little kid but you had seen it in his eyes. The fear of loosing her when you had pointed your gun to her head.

It was all a façade. You knew how to recognize one when you too were living under one.

You looked away from him. It was just a stray. He’d probably leave after a couple of days. Maybe even tomorrow. And everything would be back to normal, you would be back to the lonely normality of your silent house and your scapes to the exterior.

You silently slipped out of your seat and put on your leather jacket as you stepped inside your apartment, combat boots heavy on the flooring.

You didn’t mutter a word on the way out. The only thing that Joel could hear before you disappeared was the sound of the door closing behind your back.

-

a/n; i hope y’all liked this first chapter xx, tell me your opinions! <3

joel miller masterlist !

pedro pascal masterlist !

<33

[renranram]

Casual Pt.2

nsfw!! kind of fluffy sex

quackity confesses, and reader replies and they have sex, yes

pt 1. is this

a/n; guys would u believe me if this i tell you this almost has 3000 words

the next day arrives as rei just woke up late, the girl had falled asleep at 4 in the morning, waking up at 11 pm, as she steps out of her room, she notices their shared apartment was empty, alex went streaming in his studio, but leaving a bouquet and a small note on their kitchen's counter for her

reader had slept in way too late, her overthinking had kept her up all night long, forcing her to skip out on breakfast. luckily, she managed to get ready in time for lunch

she was about to walk out of her room when she noticed the rose bouquet and note on the counters in the kitchen. there was a note attached that she hoped was for her

' take all the time you need, im always here for u ( ps: i went for recording, will be back later in the evening with some food so dont cook ) - alex :]'

-

as the time finally arrives, schlatt came back home with a fresh take out from their favorite restaurant down the street, deftones playing on the background of their apartment

alex entered their shared apartment with a bag full of food in one hand and a freshly-poured drink in the other. deftones had been playing in the background for a while now, he isn't such a huge fan of the band, thinking their music was a bit too harsh for him but letting it slide

he then looked at the rose bouquet that was still sitting on their shared kitchen counter. the vase was full of fresh water, which showed that reader had taken good care of the flowers while he was away

" .. welcome back " reader sits up from the couch, holding the cushion's pillow as she faces him, a tad bit awkward

alex couldn't help but smile at the site of her, he was about to respond when he noticed the slightly awkward expression on her face. she looked like she actually had something she wanted to say

" uhh, something wrong? " she chuckles awkwardly as she scratches the back of her nape, " no... uh.. i think ive decided "

he raised an eyebrow as he watched her try and figure out what she was trying to say. "decided? decided what?"

he looked at her with a small smile, which was the same smile he had been wearing during their little casual talk they had before going to bed yesterday.

" .. i think.. uhm.. i think i wanna be more than casual.. " she added, " but it's just.. im kind of... scared of it " alex was pleasantly surprised by what she was saying. this was not what he had expected. but it was definitely good to hear.

"more than casual? so.... exclusive?"

he said as he slowly took a few steps forwards, placing the back of takeouts on their counter, " girlfriend boyfriend.. you know stuffs like that " she looks up at him as she gently sets the cushion down

alex froze in his tracks as she mentioned the words 'girlfriend' and 'boyfriend.' he suddenly felt his heart skip a beat, his cheeks turn slightly red at the thought of them being a couple.

"so...you want us to..."

he paused for a moment, still trying to comprehend the thought. he didn't know why, but he felt a sense of excitement wash over him.

"...to officially go out?"

she slowly nods, " uhm.. yeah actually " she mumbles, " kiss in public, hold hands, hug, and pda stuffs.. " alex was still having a hard time processing this as he heard her list off all of the things they'd be able to do as a couple. holding hands, hugging...and publicly kissing.

"and...you would be willing to do all of this with me?" " do you not want me to? " she mumbles, now playfully, as she chuckles softly

a chuckle escaped his lips as he saw how playfully she was acting.

"no. i want you to."

alex smiled as he was now standing right in front of her, he then leaned forward and placed his other hand on her shoulder.

" i want all of this."

he said as he looked directly into her eyes. " all of this? " she repeats, chuckling softly as she leans her head onto his neck.

"all of this."

he repeated his answer as he wrapped his free arm around her and pulled her close to him. his warm grasp covered all of her tiny frame and pulled her even closer to him.

" i want all the cutesy things, and all the intimate things. i want everything." she slowly nods, pecking his neck, " ... i love you " she mutters

alex froze once he heard her whisper those words to him. he had gotten used to her teasing and flirting, and even to a degree, them being casually committed. but this...

her saying those words was something else entirely. the way these words melted through him had his heart beating rapidly. " huh? "

" i said i love you, dummy " she repeats herself, "w-...right. you said you loved me." alex stuttered out his response as he was still struggling to grasp the words she said.

and while what she had said was the furthest thing from his expectations, he was not gonna question it. he didn't even want to say anything in response that could ruin it. instead, they both remained quiet as alex held reader close to him. the silence was deafening as he wanted to say more, and to even tell her how much he loved her as well.

The silence was deafening as reader sat back down on the couch and alex still had his arm wrapped around her

alex wanted to speak, to say more to her, or even to just comfort her with his presence but he was too terrified to spoil the moment. his silence began to extend itself, as neither of them spoke up and just left it as awkwardly as it was.

the silence lasted for a good while until alex could feel the awkwardness getting the better of him. though he didn't necessarily want to, he knew that it was best to break the silence.

"so..."

he mumbled as he tried to think hard on how he was supposed to approach this situation. he wasn't sure if what he might say would be the right thing to ask or say to her right now.

"are you...are you okay?"

" im.. shy.. and uhm... flustered and overwhelmed " she mumbles, " .. you? ", alex let out a soft chuckle as he thought about her response. she was being so honest with him now. it was...cute

"yeah...i'm overwhelmed too. this is..."

he paused for a moment as he thought about the right words to say.

"this is new. and good. and something I've been wanting for a while." alex said with a small smile as he looked back into her eyes

she cant help but crack a small smile before nodding, " that's... nice.. you have me now ", "yeah. i have you now."

alex said as he tried his best to hold back any other sweet words that were about to spill out of his mouth. In the process, he also began to feel his heart beat rapidly as he held her close to him.

"and since we're together now...i'm gonna have to take better care of you." he said jokingly, as he squeezed her closer to him and pulled her head onto his chest

" alex. " she calls him out before looking at his eyes directly, " i wanna.. i wanna make love to you " she bluntly states

"..you want to..."

his eyes widened in response of her blunt statement as he gulped loudly. things had just been a steady back and forth between them a few moments ago with no real momentum of what was to come next.

"you want to make love?"

alex repeated those bold words back to her. he could feel the redness spread across his cheeks as she asked this question. but he didn't want to back down from it. she was everything he had been wanting, and now...she wanted this too.

" well... uhm.. uh.. we used to have casual sex.. and stuffs and uhm.. i wanna.. i wanna see if there's a difference " she mutters

alex nodded, clearly understanding her reasoning now. that's what this whole relationship was built on, after all. so why should they not take this next step and truly see whether or not it could change things for the better? he paused for a moment, taking another deep breath, as he then finally spoke up again.

"only one way to to find out then...right?"

" well.. uhm.. yeah " she mutters, before blurting out, " if you dont wanna do it it's totally fine and you can just tell- " she was cut off by lips on hers

reader didn't need to finish her sentence before alex responded, because he was already doing what he needed to do. instead of saying anything else, he just pressed his mouth against hers and started to kiss her eagerly. she immediately kisses him back as she wraps her arms around his neck.

he embraced her firmly, holding her tightly close to him as he tried to put every last bit of his emotion into the kiss. his tongue darted around hers as he made sure to truly make love to her mouth.

hus heart was beating faster than anything they had ever done before, as it was clear that they wanted this moment together. they wanted to take our relationship to this stage. their desire was undeniable.

alex didn't want the kiss to end, as he felt such an incredible amount of love for her. but he forced himself to pull away for a few seconds, just to breathe.

"i love you. i love you so much. "

he said in between short breaths as he looked back into her eyes, staring deep into them while he was still holding her. " i love you so much " she replies to him as she moans softly, her hands slowly making it up to his hair for support as she was lift up from the ground by him

he knew that his hold on her was only gonna become harder and tighter, as he lifted her off the ground completely and carried her to his bedroom. alex was still kissing her as they made their way from the living room to his bedroom. his hands had only become more attached around her waist, and he kept her elevated until they finally reached the bedroom. the very second he got through the door, he immediately slammed it behind them both.

as reader gently placed on his bed, alex stops to admire his work, " jesus fuck.. you're so pretty mami " he mutters

" i.. fuck.. i love you so much " he mutters as he leans down to her, cupping his cheek whilst his other hand on the bed, for support as he showers her with kisses

" you're so pretty, you're so fucking pretty, i cant fucking believe you're mine now " he whispers to her, as reader gets goosebumps, his hot breath hitting her neck, " i wanna make love to you.. i wanna show you how much i love you "

reader moans softly, " a-alex " she stutters, face flushed, alex pecks her cheeks before slowly leaning up to bite her earlobe, " hm? what is it mami? " he mutters

as he continues to trace kisses on the side of her neck, before slowly reaching her shoulder, " ... i love you " she blurts out again as alex chuckles

" really? why do you say that? " he continues before pausing, his hands now cupping her breasts, pecking her clothed breast

" because.. because i love you so much " she rambles as alex fixes her hair for her as he helps her to remove her shirt, " you do? "

" uh huh " she nods, maintaining eye contact with him as she bites her lip, " i love your face, your personality, how you treat everyone, .. everything "

alex pauses, a faint blush appearing on his cheeks, " you're so fucking cute, always looking so dumb " he mumbles as reader chuckles softly

" well, atleast im saying the truth " she replies, as alex removes his shirt, tossing it on the side of his room, " i love you so much, so fucking much, ive been wanting this for years now " he confesses

" hot " she states as he bursts out chuckling as he sat next to her, lifting her by her waist as he makes her sit down on his lap

" you're hotter " he replies, before continuing to kiss her, reader didn't hesitate to kiss him back

alex places his hands on her waist, devouring her, gently, one of his hand slowly making it's way to squeeze her breast as reader moans out softly

" ah fuck " her breath shudders, as they continue to kiss, alex unclipping her bra with his other hand, letting the bra slip down, letting her breasts out

" they're so pretty hm, so pretty like you " alex breaks the kiss as he leans down, cupping her breasts, pecking her nipple as reader throws her head back in pleasure, " holy shit- a-alex.. "

the man chuckles, massaging the other one as he started licking on the soft bud, swirling his tongue around it as reader winces under his touch

" wait- ah, " she moans out, " alex.. for fucks sake- im so.. im so fucking wet.. please baby "

the boy chuckles, letting go of her nipple with a pop, " want me to give it some love? " he smirks, slowly sliding his hands on the waistband on her shorts, helping her slip it off

" mhm, need you to touch me there " she nods as alex gasps, " fuck... you're actually so fucking wet, holy shit you weren't kidding " he chuckles, amused

" shut up " she buries her head onto his neck, embarrassed, " im sorry " he chuckles, " it's just.. fuck..., i wanna devour you "

he slids his hand onto her panties, playing with her folds, feeling the wetness on his fingers, " ah, lex.. " she moans out, overly sensitive

" feels good hm? " he continues, slipping his finger in, feeling her heat, " yes.. ah.. fuck.. feels so fucking good lex, " the man continues to pump his finger inside her

slowly fastening his pace time by time, before inserting another finger in, " oh my god- alex- i love you.. i love-.. ah- i cant.. i cant fucking take it.. please, please " she pleads, her voice, whiney

" you're really making it harder for me.. " he chuckles, sweat dripping on his forehead as he tosses his beanie, letting his hair fall, " does it feel so good?, hm, princesa? "

she nods, now braindead as he continues, " lex.. please.. please just- just put it in ahh " she shudders

" fuck... you're so fucking pretty " he mutters, as he kisses her, reader wraps her arm around his shoulder as alex continues to finger her hole as his other hand fumbles with his belt and zipper

he lifts her up again, taking off his pants as he palms his already hard clothed dick, " shit.. " he groans out

" princesa.. lay down, " he breaks the kiss as the already sensitive reader nods, slowly getting off his lap as she lays down his bed

he takes off his boxers, pumping himself as he blinks, his eyes with admiration, watching her blissed face, " fuck.. i love you so fucking much " he groans out as he lifts up her leg, resting it on his shoulder as he slowly inserts his dick into her hole, making reader release a loud moan

" shit... why the fuck is it bigger.. " she moans out, as alex chuckles softly, " you know my dick can't magically grow some inches right " he hums as reader chuckles

he grabs her hips as he leans down, showering her face with peck and kisses as his hips does the work, slowly thrusting in and out of her, causing her to moan every thrust

" shit... lex.. " she groans out, " fuck.. princesa, you're so fucking pretty, it's fucking insane " he continues thrusting in and out of her, his eyes, heart shaped, watching her body bounce up and down every time he thrusts inside of her

" fuck.. i fucking love you so fucking much " he moans out as he fastens his pace, as readers leans in towards him as the two shares a kiss

both of their tongues dancing with eachother as every moan gives alex a motivation to fasten his already fast pace

" ah.. ah.. lex.. i love you.. i love you so much oh my god " she mumbles, moaning as her eyes roll back, " no mami, i love you more, fucking more " the two kisses eachother

alex continues to thrust inside her as her moans getting louder and louder every second, " fuck.. fuck.. lex im so fucking close.. lex oh my god "

" yeah? shit.. you're so fucking tight " he can feel her squeeze under him as he fixes her hair for her, " fuck.. i think im close too " he added

and with a few thrusts, reader reaches her climax, her eyes roll back, as she continues to moan as alex tries to reach his

" does it feel good hm? feels so fucking good? " he asks, as reader nods, now absent minded, overwhelmed with pleasure

" yeah.. yeah.. it's so good.. m'very good " she stutters as alex's gasps, his thrusts slowly getting sloppier

" fuck.. im gonna fill you up okay, ah- fuck... im gonna fill you up princesa " reader nods, as finally alex reaches his climax, filling his seed inside her as he gently pulls out

" shit.. princesa, wow... holy fuck " he mumbles, panting as he tries to catch his breath, " i...i fucking love you so fucking much " he mumbles, as reader smiles softly, " i love you too lex "

[autistic-katara]

ok i might get blocked by a couple ppl for saying this but the Jackson’s Diary fandom is seriously making me wanna become a proshipper out of spite (read the post before blocking me or whatever please)

like idk if u guys have checked the fandom tag on ao3 recently but theres been a bit of drama surrounding the fact that someone posted a smut-fic of Exer (an 18yo) and David (an almost 18yo, who was aged up A FEW MONTHS for the fic) and they were harassed into taking it down and making a fucking apology post ON AO3, THE PROBLEMATIC FANWORKS WEBSITE.

and this fic was tagged 100% correctly like it was very explicitly tagged as smut n stuff yet there were still a bunch of comments being like “uhm what did i just read 🤨” and when i made a comment defending the authors right to yk, not be harassed for making not even rlly problematic content someone who clearly would suffer withdrawal symptoms if they turned twitter off for too long started arguing with me abt how “erm ackhtually we should be allowed to comment harassment under ppls harmless and explicitly tagged fics cause theres no smut in this fandom and it shocked us” and u could just rlly tell they felt they were more righteous than God in their opinions and yeah so cut to tonight when i’m scrolling through the tag and i see a post titled “i’m so sorry” in which the author made a post basically being like “i’m so sorry for posting that ik it was disgusting it has been permanently deleted” which in the comments a few ppl were telling them that what happened sucked n stuff (myself included // judging by their reply they only did this to stop the harassment which yk, completely fair) and i went back to scrolling since i wanted an actual fic not fandom drama but like 2 posts down there was another post titled “please stop” or smthn like that where someone else made a post basically being like “guyssss can we please not write smut of these characters this fandom is so wholesome i dont wanna ruin it 🥺 anyways sorry this isnt a fic this just needed to be said lol” and like dude, my guy, WHAT THE FUCK?!

this is AO3, this is a fanwork archive that as far as i know was created (at least partially) due to the fact that ppl kept getting their “problematic” works taken down from other sites and the creators wanted to yk archive all fanworks. this is NOT a social media site where u can make callout posts abt how what someone else posted disturbed ur pure wholesome chaste scrolling by daring to uploaded something with *gasp* consensual sex between 2 consenting adults?! (or canonically 1 consenting adult and 1 consenting gonna-be-an-adult-in-a-few-months-but-isnt-much-younger-than-the-first-guy but u get the idea)

like guys, ao3 is not twitter. it is not tiktok, it is not tumblr, its not youtube, its not even wattpad. it is not a social media platform, it is a fanwork archive, specifically one that lets u post whatever kinda content u want (yes, even smthn depicting 2 consenting adult/almost adult participates that are in no way related having sex, ik its crazy what they allow online these days).

and look honestly the callout post wouldn’tve annoyed me this much if it was posted on yk an actual social media. like if it was posted on twitter or tiktok or on youtube as a video essay or even on here, like sure if i saw it id be annoyed that this fandom cant handle the tiniest bit of non-puritanicalism and fuck, maybe if it was on here id even drag myself into a pointless days-long argument that causes me suicidal levels of stress but on archive of our fucking own itself?! for the millionth time, IT IS NOT A SOCIAL MEDIA! u dont make posts like that that u want the rest of the fandom to read or whatever on there because its not that kinda website!

anyways yeah i hope i explained the situation ok, u might be able to check it out urself if u feel like it and yeah idk this whole thing just kinda felt like a wake-up call for me like yes i find incest and pedophilia disgusting OBVIOUSLY and i dont like ppl romanticising it in fiction but idk i’ve seen ppl talk abt toxic antis before and show screenshots of conversations where theyve acted super shitty but idk seeing this all unfold in person and having to argue with these hardcore antis just- i dont wanna be associated with these ppl, if these are what alotta antis r like i dont want anyone to assume i agree with them like at all, whether its other antis, proshippers, or ppl like me who have a super complicated opinion on it. like they harassed a person into taking down their smut and made call-out posts on ARCHIVE OF OUR OWN abt how they dont want their wholesome pure fandom corrupted by gross dirty irredeemable sex. and just yeah hope no mutuals i seriously care abt unmoot or even block me over this since ik a few of u r antis but yeah srry for this i just kinda seriously hate this fandom right now :)

also incase anyone is typing out a “kill yourself pedo” reply/rb rn; i turn 15 on Friday, i am 2+ years younger than ur innocent bb minor boy David and his definitely not already a legal adult boyfriend Exer so yk

[ritz-writes]

if i see "credit to the original artist <3" one more time i might actually lose it

im gonna say it again and im going to say it loud. this is the proper way to go about reposting art:

do you know the artist? if not, go find them. if you cant find them, dont repost it

you found the artist or already knew them? ask to repost with credit

they said no? dont repost it

they dont respond? dont repost it

they said yes? go for it with proper credit

they later ask for it to be taken down? take it down immediately

thats it. its that simple.

"but i want other ppl to see the art!" thats great. link the original post then. not a link on a repost, a link on a post that says "hey guys, this artist is rlly good u should check them out!" if you repost and then link to the og post, most ppl are just going to like the repost. they arent going to take the time to go to the link when they can already see the art

"but i found the art on pinterest!" pinterest is not an artist. it is a site notoriously known for having reposted art. its nice to use to make mood boards and get inspo, but its also almost impossible to find og artists thru posts half the time. if you want to find the artist, you do a reverse image search. if you dont know how to do that, then look it up

"they already gave me permission. why are they telling me to take it down now?" ppl are allowed to change their minds. it can be nice to have more ways for ppl to see ur art, but it can become disheartening when all the attention is on a post that isnt ur own. sometimes ppl are okay with it, and sometimes they arent. if they arent then you need to respect their wishes

artists are not machines. we are humans. we have feelings.

we make art for fun and it sucks a lot when that art we spend hours on is just copy and pasted onto some elses account.

dont repost art. and if you want to, follow the steps above. end of story. there are no loopholes or exceptions. if you want ppl to keep making art free to see, dont be rude. follow the steps and be respectful

i dont normally like ppl taking screenshots of my posts and putting them elsewhere, but im giving blanket permission for this one post. spread the word. put it where you want. tiktok, insta, reddit, etc etc. ive seen so many artists get so upset putting their art behind paywalls like patreon just to keep ppl from stealing it. and i know multiple who have stopped posting altogether and some that are debating stopping.

respect artists, guys. follow the steps. seriously

[solradguy]

I saw your post about the Internet Archive and Archiving GG stuff for future Generations and i wanted to ask some stuff regarding the Archiving, i hope thats ok

Probably the dumber question but do you know if Daisuke has ever been involved in the Archiving of his series? I know the series started as a Passion project for him but Idk how active he would be with helping archive or fill in missing pieces, especially in the english world.

Just as a General question, are current online archiving groups mostly relying on being connected to one another in some way to reestablish fallen sources? Since very little of the internet if any is as stable as we like to believe and any service storing data may shut down somehow any day like Drive, when one host site does go down do the archivists rally together and find a new spot or do you kinda have to hope people can find the new host?

Also are there any larger scale Archivist groups someone with less ability to physically help could donate to to help preserve our online histories?

thank you and apologies if you dont like questions

Hello! Questions are fine ^^ Sometimes it takes me a million years to reply, but I don't mind them.

My answer to this got kinda long. Excuse the readmore.

We don't have any strong evidence either way what the condition of the official Arc System Works library of Guilty Gear media is like, but there have been a few times where the images they've used for things have been worse than the images us rogue archivists have. This ML illustration is definitely one they either no longer have the physical/original piece for, or they might not have a way to rescan it, because the file they use when they reproduce it is pathetically tiny. Example from the Steam release of Strive's bonus Digital Artbook:

Compared to other illustrations in the same book (two pages here):

This Ky from the website for the 20th Anniversary Pack release of Missing Link for the Switch was taken from the Guilty Gear Bible:

We know this because... He's on page 12 in the Bible and...

...they didn't erase the page number off his shoe.

So, at the very least, some Missing Link era works are likely gone/lost/destroyed/etc. It's possible some GGX thru GGXX artworks are lost too, but we don't have a concrete catalog of XX works because they never released a complete artbook for XX. It's also rumored that Keep The Flag Flying's original master file is lost but I've never been able to find a source for that. Daisuke has never reached out to any of us about our image archives and we've never offered.

Archiving is very much a western concept and it's a common thought in Japan that saving copies of another person's works is extremely bad; I've been chewed out and blocked by Japanese fans for it. It's just a cultural difference, I don't take it personally. If ASW contacts us about it though we'll definitely give them our files or take down anything they request of us. We don't want to poke the bear and risk the entire archive if we can. They seem to be turning a blind eye to our archives though, as long as it's not an upload of something extremely recent (I got DMCA'd for the Strive Artworks Archive scans).

The core of the Guilty Gear archive group works on the new GG wiki and/or are admins of the new wiki, so we're in pretty close contact with each other. Most of the archive is in my hands and, unfortunately, my hands alone. With the announcement of the Internet Archive v Hachette ruling, we've been planning on making copies of my GG archive hard drive and sending it out to the other archivists in our circle. I don't have a PO box, I can't do this for people outside the group because I don't want my physical home address to be that accessible.

That said, there are redundant digital copies of a lot of files and I have a backup hard drive of the main GG archive drive; the main drive is a relatively new 2tb Western Digital My Passport external drive and the backup is a 1tb WD My Passport that's a little older. A lot of people have downloaded copies of the files currently online (via my masterpost) and can reupload something if it goes down even if I'm not around to do it. We rely on Archive.org a lot but aren't against using Dropbox, Google Drive, mega.nz, Neocities, file.garden, or, if we absolutely must, Discord. I do not like relying on Discord and Discord files are generally extremely temporary.

The files that aren't in the archive include software or game asset rips, image files, music, and random bits and bobs. I'm working on getting the images up on the wiki but everything else is kind of in a weird zone where I don't really know what to do with it.

As for donating to support broader archivism: We use Archive.org (and their Wayback Machine) the most, so donating to them would benefit both the GG archive as well as hundreds of thousands of music, literature, research, and art groups too. Their donate page can be found here: https://archive.org/donate?origin=iawww-TopNavDonateButton

Supporting your local libraries, museums, and conservatories also supports archivism. Most of these places accept public donations of any amount and could probably direct you to other local archiving groups/associations.

Donating to Wikipedia also supports broader archivism to a lesser extent. They write about events as they happen, with sources/citations, and older versions of this information is permanently available on every article and file without having to rely on things like Wayback Machine. Their donation page is here: https://donate.wikimedia.org

I also have a donation page via Ko-fi and any money donated with a note about it being for Guilty Gear will go back into Guilty Gear (via book/magazine purchases for scanning, usually). Donating to one of the above groups would be better for archiving as a whole though. My page can be found here: https://ko-fi.com/somnivagrious

Hope this answers your questions!!

[snzhrchy]

Happy new years Vix! May I request Chishiya and arisu on new years post borderlands? It can be head canons or scenarios, whichever you want:)

—☆ NEW YEAR'S WITH THEM !

characters included; chishiya shuntaro & arisu ryohei notes; i dont rlly celebrate new year's but <33 taglist; lmk if u wanna b on it !

CHISHIYA SHUNTARO

Of course, Chishiya wasn't the one to celebrate New Year's. It was just a celebration to honour the passage of time, an unrelenting reminder.

He wasn't ever joyful on this occasion at all, he simply didn't see the reason as to why any sane person would even want to celebrate getting older.

However, if you were really excited about the holiday then Chishiya wouldn't mind celebrating it.

He didn't know much about the holiday except for the fireworks that are set to go off at 12AM. He remembered that when he was a kid, his parents would take him out to celebrate it with the fireworks. As time went by, he simply stopped going out.

Chishiya isn't the one for extravagance, his idea to celebrate the beginning of the new year were very mundane and simple.

After his shift ended at the hospital, he arrived at your door, requesting you to come with him.

You agreed, it was still quite early in the night — 10PM. You grabbed your jacket and rushed to his car.

'What's the occasion?' you had asked him. Obviously, you knew the answer to his question but you wanted to hear about it from him.

Unfortunately for you, Chishiya just replied with 'nothing much.'

The first thing Chishiya did was take you to your favourite restaurant and order you your favourite food. He didn't care how expensive it was, he just wanted to give you a good time.

Then, once the twelfth hour was nearing, he took you to one of the most popular sites in Japan to watch the fireworks.

He wasn't the one for loud crowds but exceptions were made for you.

As you and the many other citizens of Japan counted down the final seconds, Chishiya couldn't help but enamour.

Once the clock hit 12, you wrapped your arms around Chishiya. He reciprocated the action but he also connected his lips with yours, pulling you into a kiss.

ARISU RYOHEI

Arisu's plan for the upcoming new year celebration was to spend it at the bar with Karube and Chota. He invited you along too.

You agreed, you really enjoyed the company of his friends as they did too.

At around 11, Arisu came to your house and you both walked to the bar, hands interlocked with each other's.

Every now and then, Arisu would try and crack up jokes just to see your smile.

Once you both arrived at the bar, you were greeted by his friends who both pulled you into a comforting hug.

The entirety of the night was spent with Karube offering you all free drinks and the both of them telling rather embarrassing stories about Arisu.

Sometimes, really drunk people would hit on you and that would cause Arisu to be filled with rage.

Of course, you rejected them and told them you're already taken. However, Arisu would get into a really sour mood afterwards and would be really clingy.

He would have an arm draped across your shoulder and would try to pepper you with kisses all over your cheeks.

As the countdown began, you were eagerly counting down the seconds. Arisu di the same but his eyes would nervously glance from the clock to your lips for a few moments.

Once it reached 12, you would turn to Arisu and pull him into a kiss. He was startled by your sudden action but reciprocated it, nonetheless.

When you both pulled apart, he'd mumble a small greeting to you and kiss you once again.