#dorian having a rage breakdown or something

[zwoftt]

nah because what if the matron of ravens shows dorian a vision of cyrus so they can talk to each other one last time WHAT THEN. WHAT THEN??

what if dorian yells at the matron for not helping the crown keepers at their lowest point, especially when one of them was greatly vowed to her, how she just stood there and watched as they all crumbled before this ‘merciless goddess’ sister none of them(the gods) like. what then. what if dorian finally releases some of that anger, the anger he is afraid of- the anger that has been boiling up inside of him since that day his brother was murdered and all he could do was walk the other way. OH MY GOD.

[phantomrose96]

OH FUCK I KNOW WHATS DRIVING ME TO DRINK ABT 938SPS

it's that Mendoza DOES put up with it! It's that everyone's put up with Carson until that single moment! It's that Mendoza nearly went with it! It's that everyone that's ever paired with Carson has been like, wow he's odious. He's the worst. But either not a single thing can be done about it or it never occurs to anyone to do anything about it, especially in conjunction with "well 8 days our time is 41 years, so what is there really to be done?"

It feels like this job would self-select for assholes & people who don't want to deal with problems - it's not like anyone will remember you by the time you get fed up and leave, after all. And where would you go, if you had a problem with a crew member? You're stuck there until you're fed up, and then where do you go from there? It's like the universe's worst cult or something. Everyone that could have talked you out of this is dead in like. 2 weeks time by your reckoning. A month out? Fucking forget it. You're stuck here before it might even hit you that you're stuck, and now the only people alive that could possibly understand you are the other schmucks that signed up for this. Honestly im unwell over this world you very casually built. Barkeep I'd like your finest chocolate milk pronto

(938 Seconds Per Second)

YOU GET IT YOU GET IT YOU GET IT YOU GET IT YOU GET IT.

That tongue-in-cheek thing Mendoza says right at the beginning about "They'll trash your application if you have anyone who could even be mistaken for a loved one" is literally because everyone you've ever known in your entire life will be dead by Week Fucking Two of your first mission.

This job cannot have--as in they WILL NOT TAKE--the kind of person who might get homesick, might miss friends and family they knew, might regret it 2+ weeks into the job at the realization that everything they ever knew is dead and gone and launch into a complete mental breakdown in deep hyperspace traveling 0.99998c where the first pit stop they could even boot your sorry ass at is 200 years ahead of and 200 lightyears away from anything you ever knew.

And you know what? This doesn't just rule out weak-willed or weak-constituted people. This rules out anyone with any human connection. This rules out nearly everyone.

And the only pool of applicants this leaves you with is dangerous. So the best you can do. The best you can select for. Are the subset of applicants who will Put Up With It. And there's no saying what "it" is. You can't expect comradery, or friendliness, or amicability, or respect. Not from a pool of workers defined by their lack of social connection. Not from people willing to take a job which kills everyone they've ever known in 14 days. The best you can select for is people who will just put up with each other. Who will endure.

Dorian is drunk out of his mind 24/7 and stubborn and stupid, but he does his job, and he causes no real trouble, and he endures. Carson fucking sucks but he does his job. Mendoza is probably the star employee of the fleet as a grounded and reasonable man who's simply prickly and anti-social. Sampson is the closest to normal and he's coming apart at the seams, because he's NOT a true shipmate, he's a scholar sent from his dying culture. Everyone he knows is dead and he's so very fucked up about it.

But there's nothing to be done. There's only enduring. Because there is no recourse that can be sought from outside the ship. What greater body is there? Anyone who might hold that power to mediate conflict or dole out justice was born and died in the 2 weeks it took for attempts at self-mediation to fail.

Someone could take a stand against Carson. Someone could get morally fed up with him, and quit in a fit of indignant rage. Give in their notice and walk off the ship whenever the next mission ends. Walk off onto some planet with no one and nothing they've ever known on it and try to start over from nothing.

And the ship would take off. And that person would be dead in 2 weeks' time. Bones on some speck of a planet. Gone. No one on the ship would have any reason to think about them ever again. That could be you, too, if you ever got properly tired of Garret Carson.

There are certain lines that can't be crossed. Killing a shipmate would get you fired. Would get you kicked off, penniless, at the next rest stop planet with whatever local officials exist being informed of your infraction. Once you're OFF ship, then laws, and governments, can apply to you.

But not on ship... Not on ship... and if you're smart--in the unfortunate way that Carson is smart--you can push your luck, right up against that line where no consequences will ever find you. Carson has done nothing fireable. Carson would have continued his days on that ship never doing anything that actually counts as fireable.

It's like the universe's worst cult or something. ...and now the only people alive that could possibly understand you are the other schmucks that signed up for this.

These people have no one going in. They have no one going out. The only human beings even still alive with them are the insufferable assholes stuck with them on the ship. There is no recourse. There is no safety net. There is no justice and no plan except to endure, because the pay is good, because you're being paid for thousands of years of work, and one day you can retire somewhere you've never been with enough money to not have to care that you know nothing and no one.

And until that day, you endure.

[rom-e-o]

I'm curious now. What's Isma's dynamic with everyone on the team?

Oooooooh, excellent question!

I have a chart. <3

I made this maybe....5 seconds after the game came out, lmao, and I still feel exactly the same way.

Isma will literally hang with anyone...except Solas. And she's baffled by Morrigan, but not in a bad way.

So, a breakdown (moves counter-clockwise from start):

Emmrich: Flame of her heart. Cutie pie. Boyfriend. The most precious, sacred treasure she's ever been blessed to find.

Lucanis: Man cooks good food and makes good coffee. Of course she likes him! I think she and him would bond a little bit over some, perhaps, reclusive tendencies they have.

Taash: They don't get off on the best foot, but Isma helps Taash confront death, and Taash helps Isma productively (and not self-destructively) channel her rage. Much respect. Just don't imply unsavory things about her/Emmrich and dead people. The sanctity of the dead is not something she fucks around with people joking about.

Bellara is the gal pa, ofc. They're DORKS together. Talking about hairstyles one moment, then the best blood coagulants the second. A hummingbird and a heron, existing in harmony.

Davrin: Isma knows nothing of Grey Wardens and very little of the Dalish elves, BUT Davrin? With his swarthy, heroic entrance and his no-nonsense protectiveness? She likes him immediately. He's a man who takes his joke seriously and isn't aloof. If there's on thing Isma dislikes, its a flippant attitude.

Inquisitor: I have two Inquisitors, haha. Both are 40 years old in Veilguard. For Camilla Trevelyan (human mage), Isma fangirls a bit over her. Belisma's former lover, Cyril, was also a Ferelden circle mage from Ostwick's Circle. Camilla is also from Ostwick, so they'd talk a lot, haha. Mages in Ferelden have it harder than ones in Tevinter, and MUCH HARDER than ones in Nevarra. ("Was it true? About the Templars ...?", "You put healthy men and women in a tower together and bedfellows are almost guaranteed. The pushy ones? Those were dealt with.") For Oleander Lavellan (elf mage), she'd be a little more nervous. After all, this is Dorian's amatus! She wants to make a good impression. Meanwhile, Oleander is like, "Relax around me, please. I feel like you're about to correct my posture, haha." He'd bring her jam toast during her recovery, and she's be too transfixed to enjoy it. "Is...this real? T...The Inquisitor is bringing me toast?", "Hey, toast and jam. And you better enjoy it. Dorian laughed at me the whole walk up. Said I looked like I was playing 'house.'"

Solas: No pity. Crack that egg with one hand and toss the shell in the trash.

Morrigan: She has no real issue with Morrigan, but if she's around...things probably aren't well. So, she's not the biggest fan of seeing her, haha. I think she's most fascinated by her time as a magical advisor to Empress Celene at Halamshiral. It was the talk of many continents, after all!

Varric: That's her Papa/uncle, right there! The man who gave her purpose after leaving the ballet and being exiled after the War of the Banners. Varric also definitely was the first one to discover Isma can't hold her booze. He gave her a neat whiskey by mistake, and she was loopy for days. ("Lightweight at the barre and a lightweight at the bar, huh? Well, I applaud your consistency.")

Harding: Harding is fun! She has that no-nonsense, hardworking energy she applauds, but she'd not a tightwad about it. She cracks jokes and makes puns. Sometimes they make her groan, but the levity is always appreciates. After Harding's death, Isma is hit hard. Not has hard as Taash or even Emmrich, who adored Lace like a step-daughter/niece, but she's hurt.

Neve: She trusts Neve's intelligence like no other, and admires her deductive reasoning skills. Isma gets flustered often, which causes anger/panic. That means she misses key details, but Neve never does. I think Isma would look to Neve often for guidance or inspiration on how to be a more informed leader, and a better detective as they work toward finding a way to save the world.

The flowers for Varric and Harding are ... well, yeah.

[nicolasnelson]

Sizzie fic - Unleash the Chaos [oneshot]

Title: Unleash the Chaos Relationship: Lizzie Saltzman/Sebastian Additional Tags: Sebastian’s POV, Hurt/Comfort, references to mental illness Words: 1,610

Summary: Sebastian seeks out Lizzie for a romantic tryst, but instead he finds her in the middle of an episode.

Requested by @writers-imagines // Prompt: One shot request for Sizzie? How Sebastian reacts to one of Lizzie's episodes?

[AO3 LINK]

Sebastian was the only one who noticed that Elizabeth was feeling unwell. He thought perhaps he would be able to cheer her up, if he could get her alone. On a scrap of parchment, he wrote out his request in elegant script.

Care for a reprieve from this tedious class? I would fancy sneaking into the library with you.

The students beside him were kind enough to pass the note to Elizabeth, though he suspected they did it out of fear. He had that effect on people. He flashed Elizabeth a seductive smile once she looked up at him after reading the note.

She bit her lip, her gaze flicking to the teacher for a moment. She was clearly considering his offer. Her hand glowed red as she placed it against the desk to siphon its magic.

When Sebastian looked down at his parchment, he found a note in Elizabeth’s fine penmanship. Five minutes.

She raised her hand and told the teacher she needed to go to the ladies room for “personal reasons.”

The substitute teacher Dorian Williams, who doubled as the school librarian, let Elizabeth leave the room without question. Smart man.

Sebastian watched the clock on the wall, each tick of the second hand amplified to his ears. His whole body was tensed, ready to pounce the moment the clock hit the end of five minutes. He already had his excuse prepared.

Three minutes in he sensed that something was deeply wrong. The chair collapsed to the floor as he flung himself towards the door. “I’m hungry,” Sebastian snapped, whatever excuse he’d prepared far from his mind.

No one followed him.

Once outside the room, he listened for Elizabeth. It took only a moment to hear her distant scream. With vampire speed, he flitted through the wood to the Old Mill, the place they had first met. 

Candles, books, and chairs, even rusted chains and what looked like a metal gate, flew through the air. They crashed against the brick wall, the wooden chairs splintering into pieces and the metal bits clattering to the ground. Sebastian winced as a book was relieved of its cover after a particularly nasty crash.

It was clear Elizabeth was having a breakdown of some kind, her magic lashing out as an expression of her emotions. After all, witches were deeply entwined with their feelings. They could make her stronger or they could make her careless. Right now, it just seemed like she needed to let it all out.

Elizabeth caught sight of him. “You shouldn’t be here. I don’t want you to see me like this.” The objects in the room moved faster with more intensity.

Sebastian dodged a huge metal disk that could have taken off his head. He kept his own emotions calm. “I’m not going anywhere,” he assured her.

He would not leave, even though it would have been safer for himself, for he knew it would make Elizabeth feel abandoned. And those sort of feelings could lead to self harm.

Sebastian leaned against a wooden post near the brick wall and watched the candles tumbling across the floor. He was careful not to look at Elizabeth, for he knew how embarrassing it felt to have others watch you spiral out of control.

Minutes passed, though Sebastian couldn’t say how many, and the objects settled on the ground.

Elizabeth collapsed against the brick wall, wrapping her arms around her knees. Sebastian approached her slowly and sat beside her, his legs straight and hands folded together in his lap. He would not pry, but he wanted to be there for her in case she needed him. He studied the daylight ring on his finger while he waited for her to speak or get up and leave. Whichever she preferred, he would respect her choice.

“Why did you stay?” Elizabeth asked, her tone soft and gentle. It was refreshing from her usual snark, though Sebastian much enjoyed that side of her too.

“I know you find this hard to believe, but I care about you, Elizabeth.”

Her cheeks went an adorable shade of pink. “I could have hurt you,” she said, winding her fingers together.

“I very much doubt that, Elizabeth. Even if you wanted to hurt me, you would find me quite resilient.” Aside from the metal disk that had almost beheaded him, but he kept that to himself.

“I don’t want to.” Elizabeth sighed, leaning back against the wall. She turned her head towards him.

Sebastian met her gaze, marveling in those beautiful eyes and her tear-stained cheeks. Few people truly appreciated the strength of those who suffered. They were battle wounds she wore with dignity.

“I don’t want to hurt anyone,” Elizabeth said. “Why are you so calm? Aren’t you at least a little afraid of me?”

“Do you want me to be?”

Elizabeth fixed him with a glare, though there was no animosity behind it. “Only sometimes. Aren’t you going to ask me what’s wrong with me?”

“No. For there is nothing wrong with you, Elizabeth Saltzman.”

Elizabeth caught her breath, surprised. “Are you sure you don’t want to leave? Now that you’ve seen what a mess I am.”

“Positive. I know you think I could not possibly understand, but I assure you that I can empathize with your situation.”

“How?”

“Humans have a tendency to assume that once you become a vampire, all your illnesses and afflictions are magically cured, but that is far from the truth. Afflictions of the mind follow you through life and death, and being a vampire merely amplifies them.”

“What do you suffer from?” Elizabeth asked, her eyes alight with curiosity. “Oh, sorry. You don’t have to answer that. I don’t even know why I asked.”

Sebastian smiled at her, amused. He felt so comfortable around her, like he finally had a place to call home. “I do not mind sharing, but I know not what you would call it. In my day these afflictions had no name. We were merely dismissed as being crazy or possessed. My particular affliction sends me into fits of rage with the slightest provocation.”

“Do you hurt people too?” Elizabeth asked, looking at the disaster of broken objects strewn across the floor. She tucked a strand of her silky blond hair behind her ear.

“I…” Sebastian searched for the right word. “I create chaos. But I am trying to be better about unleashing my emotions in healthier ways. Well, maybe not healthier for me, but it certainly leaves everyone else in a healthier state.”

“Sounds like you’re bottling up a lot of rage.”

Sebastian picked up a broken shard of glass from the floor beside him. He held it up to the light, studying it from every angle and watching as the light refracted. How did she manage to see him so well?

“The rage only comes in bursts,” he explained. “I bottle up frustrations. You see, I always have to be the smartest person in the room. It has been that way all my life. While being here is a thousand times better than being trapped in a box, it does make things difficult for me. On one hand, I am fascinated and intrigued by how much new knowledge is available to be learned. But on the other hand, I find myself constantly confused by new words or familiar words which have different meanings, scientific theories that have been disproven. So much has changed in the last five hundred years. It feels like I can no longer be the smartest person in any room.”

Elizabeth reached for his hand and gave it a gentle squeeze. “I don’t have to be the smartest, but I always have to be in control. When I’m not at the Salvatore school, it’s harder for me to have control over my environment. If you thought today was bad…” Her voice trailed off.

“The Salvatore school has been good for me too. At least I am not surrounded by idiotic humans who know nothing of magic or vampires. I get even more frustrated when I am not intellectually challenged. I know, my personality is contradictory.”

“I think most people are filled with contradictions. At least you can admit you have them.”

Sebastian chuckled. “Yes, you are right about that. I am self-aware, as are you.”

“It wasn’t easy for me, though.”

“Nor for me.”

Elizabeth grinned, leaning towards him and touching his arm. “You mean you didn’t come out of the box this way?” Her eyes were expectant, like she’d made a joke, but he didn’t understand what made it funny.

“I did, though. After I was trapped—”

“Oh, sorry. It’s an expression. Like when you buy a toy or something in the store and you open it. Some things come already put together and others don’t.”

Sebastian was grateful that Elizabeth never made him feel stupid. She was calm with her explanations, especially when she wanted him to laugh at a joke. It was clear she wanted such a reaction from him now.

“So you’re saying I am like a toy you wish to play with,” he said with a sly smile.

“You wish,” Elizabeth said, rolling her eyes, though her deepening smile said she shared that same wish.

“Weren’t we supposed to meet up for a tryst in the library?” Sebastian raised an eyebrow.

Elizabeth laughed. She ran her fingers down his arm, her touch like magic. “The library’s too far away. But there’s a perfectly good bed upstairs in the less damaged part of the Old Mill.”

“Sounds comfortable.” Sebastian stood and offered a hand to Elizabeth. She eagerly took his, and they ascended the staircase together.

[slytherin-puffskein]

@thefifth-marauder I hope you enjoy it dearie ! I kind of... got inspired and strayed off, but hopefully it’s good !

15: A ‘Just to say I love you’ hug

* * *

That day, Lau decided he won’t be speaking to anyone.

He won’t be seeing anyone.

He was going to be entirely by himself, without any distractions or people. Because that’s what he needed. That’s what he had to do... and he refused to stray off from the goal he had set himself. Today, no one shall see Laurent Dorian King.

Because he needed it. He was well aware that if he were to see a friend, a lump would form in his throat the instant he’d try to speak, and he’ll break into sobs. That would obviously lead to questions, but he refused to answer any.

( leave me alone, leave me alone PLEASE )

He didn’t want a shoulder to cry on, he didn’t want a pat on the back as an awkward attempt to comfort him. What he truly needed was to be left alone. With that in mind, he easily slipped off the crowd of students walking to their first class of the day.

( sorry, Flitwick, I’m not in the mood for Charms )

He’ll ask Ben for notes. He’ll ask Penny for potions notes, he’ll

( do it tomorrow though. Ask tomorrow. Today, you see no one. Today you are alone because you CAN’T go through this day with people and you know it )

ask Andre about Transfiguration class... and that’ll solve everything. It will be like nothing ever happened. Carefully avoiding Filch and Mrs Norris, he finally managed to get out of the Castle... and made his way towards the Black Lake, sitting down behind a tree, safe from prying glances... and as he finally found a comfortable position, he grabbed his bag and slowly pulled out a dried orchid... or well, what was left. It has been so long since he had it, it was basically falling apart after all these years... but it kept on.

Just like Laurent on the anniversary of his mother’s death.

That day had been rainy, and gloomy, as if nature was aware it was about to lose a dear angel. Jeanne Clemence... wasn’t herself anymore. That familiar glint in her eyes was gone, and her cracked lips weren’t able to smile anymore. As she closed her eyes forever, little Lau, only seven, remained silent for a moment... until he finally burst into tears a few hours later.

Months before she caught that illness, she gave her son a flower. An orchid, her favourite. And she told him that whenever he would feel sad, looking at this flower will remind him how mummy is always here for him. When his mother died, he looked at the flower... but it led to nothing, since his mom wasn’t here anymore.

He was alone. Stefen and Mr.King were already over it. Lau was the only one who cared.

( remember that day remember it ? Remember how Stefen acted like nothing happened and how dad only went back to doing whatever the FUCK he was doing before ? Remember how no one asked if you were ok remember how they couldn’t give a shit about mum anymore because she was no more than dead weight they forgot about her true self as soon as she started showing symptoms these godawful BASTARDS )

Suddenly, his hand balled up into a fist in rage... and crumbled up the orchid as a result, finally destroying it. He watched as the orchid fell apart, his bottom lip trembling and tears threatening to fall down.

“N-No... no, no, no !”

Panic swelled up inside of his chest, and a cold sweat broke on his forehead. His hands started shaking fervently, and he tried to piece the flower back together.

( that’s useless you piece of shit you know it damn well )

“No, no, NO !”

And immediately, he started to sob. Not a soft sob you have when you watch a sad movie. An absolutely guttural cry of help, a throaty scream, a pure breakdown as he realized that the only thing he had left of his mother was now destroyed by his fault.

* * *

Barnaby Lee had Herbology class that morning.

He wasn’t a fan of it. Sprout was extremely kind, but that didn’t make him any better with tending to flowers. In fact, his struggle remained the same, and no one would help him. Because of his stature, as well as his House, several students would fear him without even bothering to get to know him... and ever since he briefly teamed up with Merula, his reputation had gone down the gutter. Now, people saw him as her brainless acolyte... even though he wasn’t working by her side anymore.

( what is it that Penny said ? Ah, yes: don’t judge a book by it’s cover )

While he wasn’t good at Herbology, it did make him smile, however, as plants immediately made him think of Laurent. He was supposed to be in Charms class, right ? Oh, oh ! Barnaby suddenly had a brilliant idea... he was going to surprise him ! As soon as Herbology class is over, he’ll run right to the Charms classroom and see Lau ! 

Once Sprout declared the class over, Barnaby was quick to take his things and make his way to the Charms classroom, all the way up... but that wasn’t bothering him, he had strong legs. As he finally reached the classroom, students were starting to leave... and he recognized Ben Copper.

“Ben ! Ben, wait for me !” Barnaby exclaimed.

He stumbled a little, and managed to get to the Gryffindor, panting softly and trying to catch his breath.

“Whew ! H-Have you seen- aaarrgh, have you seen Lau ? Look, I got him some lavender from Herbology class ! I know he loves their smell !”

He pulled out the lavender from his pocket, a bright smile on his face, but Ben slowly shook his head.

“Ah... sorry, Barnaby. Lau wasn’t here today...”

“What ? What do you mean ?”

“W-Well I mean he wasn’t here !” Ben exclaimed, slowly stepping away. “I need to go now... sorry, Barnaby”

And the Gryffindor left, and Barnaby was... horribly confused. Where was Lau... ? He suddenly recalled that he had been rather weird the previous day. Was there something he wasn’t aware of... ? A place suddenly popped into his mind. He knew exactly where Lau was... and he immediately started walking.

As he expected, Lau was near the Black Lake, well hidden behind a tree. Barnaby was lucky to have been able to spot him... and as he stepped closer he suddenly noticed that Lau was crying. Immediately, he walked to his friend, worriness painting over his face.

“L-Lau ? Lau, what’s happening ?” he exclaimed, sitting down next to him.

He noticed he was holding something... something that looked like an old flower, but tore apart.

Despite Barnaby’s question, Lau remained silent, his tearful eyes still on the broken flower... and Barnaby hated seeing him like this.

“Lau, talk to me... I want to help...”

Lau gently shook his head, giggling softly. But that giggle had absolutely zero feeling inside of it.

“You can’t help, Barnaby... I destroyed it, that’s all. I destroyed her...”

Her ? Now, Barnaby looked even more confused, and Lau sighed softly. So much for spending the day alone... but somehow, he wasn’t bothered by it.

“I... oh, Barnaby...”

And suddenly, he was against Barnaby’s chest, sobbing gently... and Barnaby was quick to react, wrapping his arms around his dear friend

( friend why do I hate that word why do I hate it so much ? )

and squeezing him softly. He gently nuzzled his hair... and Lau told him everything, between sobs. How today was the anniversary of his mother’s death, how much this flower meant to him, and how horrible he felt... and Barnaby’s heart absolutely broke for him.

“Lau... I’m so sorry... but this isn’t your fault, I guarantee you...”

He wanted to tell him. He wanted to tell him how much he felt for him. Felt what, exactly ? Merlin, so many things... he wanted to protect him, to make him smile, laugh even. He wanted to be here for him, to be the shoulder he’ll cry on, to be his anchor... because Lau was his.

Eventually, Lau started hugging back, and his sobs became less and less frequent... much to Barnaby’s joy. Now here they were, hugging each other, trying to express what they both weren’t able to say with words.

( I love you )

Barnaby opened his mouth in an attempt to finally say it.

“Look, I got you lavender”

He failed.

[theharellan]

The first question: what does Solas do about Wisdom if he doesn't ask for the Inquisitor's help or the Inquisitor refuses? I know you don't get that quest if his approval is Cold/Hostile, and even if you do get the convo the Inquisitor can still say "but you don't need anything. you're KNOWN for that". So does his course of action depend on whether he never asks for the help or asks but is rejected? does he seek help elsewhere or try to do it on his own? Just how does it all go down differently?

i should state before i start that all of this is headcanons. in-game, as far as we know, nothing happens. in the one file where i didn’t get his personal quest b/c i was trying to get low approval, there’s just nothing where wisdom is supposed to be.

since i’m not reliant on player choice, however, i’d say he goes himself.

i tend to think that the companions wouldn’t always be available, realistically. iron bull might go with the chargers, dorian may accompany agents when tevinter knowledge would be a plus, and i’ve written solas as having been present at some war table missions just b/c some of the scenarios are rly interesting to write about.

solas likely wouldn’t go alone, ian would accompany him, at least. there aren’t many people solas is willing to be open emotionally with, and the herald telling him no would honestly knock that number down at least one, so after that i doubt he would go seeking anyone else.

if he just straight-up hates the inquisitor, though, he would probably be more willing to ask others for help. specifically, cole. while he does have an amicable relationship with tal-vashoth iron bull, cassandra, they have no love of spirits and unlike when there’s an inquisitor there he couldn’t trust them not to act against any requests he makes. varric and blackwall would be a more likely choice, but again what happened to wisdom is a very emotional thing for him, so most likely what we’d be looking at here is a special field trip with solas, cole, and ian. who needs tanks anyway.

in this scenario i’d honestly have to write it to guess all the smaller ways it might unfold. the one thing i can say for sure is the mages would live, as by my canon ian stops solas even if the inquisitor doesn’t, and they’d break the seals. i also think he would still go AWOL after the business was settled, wisdom’s death triggers something of a breakdown that he isn’t comfortable expressing in front of others at that point. however, rather than returning to skyhold he’d most likely meet up with them before they returned together.

unlike a lot of other personal quests the inquisitor’s presence is kind of incidental. they can choose to break the seals vs kill wisdom/pride outright, and whether or not to stop solas from killing the mages in a fit of grief-induced rage, but wisdom always dies and solas always ends the quest heartbroken. so compared to, say, deciding dorian’s relationship with his family going forward or cole’s path, the lessons solas takes from his pq are somewhat static:

he’s slightly more alone in the world, but also less alone than he thought. this would hold true in cases where he pursues it without the inquisitor’s help b/c he hates them, but in cases where the inquisitor brushes him off it’d just teach him he can’t trust the inquisitor. it’d also reinforce his difficulty asking for help and tendency to repress his emotions. b/c like the one time he’s overly emotional in front of an inquisitor he has respect for and suddenly they’re not listening to him?? hm. sounds like he should just keep playing the even-toned wiseman if he wants to get anything.

[dragon-tooth-collection]

Trespasser and the Uncertain Future

As Dorianmance Week begins to draw to a close, I thought I would round it out with... whatever this is? Basically a recount of the end bits of Dorian’s romance from the games themselves and touching on my own (admittedly fluff-tastic) post-Trespasser headcanons.

I talk about how I used to write a lot sometimes, but that got ravaged pretty bad by depression in my adulthood and now I struggle with coming up with ideas and finding the words to write proper sentences with, so it’s all a  disorganized mess when I try. Somehow people still read what I post here, and that’s like... unreal to me. But here’s this thing which is basically me going on about Adam, a grown man who has killed people with his massive battleaxe, being pathetically sad about Dorian leaving for like 1000 words

"I should go back, shouldn't I? To Tevinter."

The question itself was simple enough, but the words dropped heavily with a weight that crushed whatever Adam was originally going to say into a hundred thousand pitiful little bits. He stood there for a long moment, his halted mental processes scrambling to restart, but the silence would crush them both if he didn't say something.

“But what about-“ is all he manages to stammer before he stops himself, lest he sound too pitiful and selfish for even Dorian to handle. It was enough of the question to get the general idea across.

The realization that this all had to end someday nearly winded him; an unfortunate consequence of trying to not think about it. He had always known, but he’d always hated the ends of stories where, after a life-changing adventure, all the heroes just went back to their old lives, back to the way things were. There was no Maker-damned way he could possibly go back to Ostwick and resume being nobody after all of this was said and done. He would be nothing if he wasn’t Inquisitor.

He still understood.  He knew what it was to feel like the only one who could make the changes this world so desperately needed, but nevertheless he was at a loss for words. Anything he tried to say became so distorted by sadness that it came out in the form of a hesitant whine, but he knew why Dorian had to do this. It still didn’t make him any happier about it, but Dorian was strong in his own beautiful way, and Adam saw him off and wished him luck when he could no longer linger in Skyhold.

At first it was just short trips, a few weeks at the longest. The adjustment was still difficult, and often Adam found himself eagerly scampering up the stairs to the library only to remember oh, that’s right, he’s not here. It’s alright, though, because he’ll be back soon. I think I’ll go write another letter telling him all the things I’m going to do to him when I see him again. An unintentionally ill-timed visit to Tevinter happened to fall right on top of Divine Victoria’s Exalted Council.

Adam greets Tevinter’s ambassador with enthusiasm, just barely restraining the urge to lift him off his feet and twirl him around like they were in a fairytale. They share a greeting kiss where everyone can see, and his heart swells with pride.

A bit later, he manages to break away from all the pomp and circumstance and comes trotting excitedly up to the sofa Dorian seems to have commandeered, hoping maybe they could do that again, and… Well, we all know how that goes. He has to go back to Tevinter for good this time. Adam inwardly berates himself as he struggles with the lump in his throat. You’re the Inquisitor, you should be stronger than this.

He remembered the first time they exchanged ‘I love you’s, laying in a satisfied heap on the lavish, oversized bed he’d splurged on for his quarters, the Breach and its creator finally gone for good. They had spent what felt like all night very much enjoying each other’s company, reveling in the feeling that they had all the time in the world. The both of them had danced around it for the longest time, and finally saying it felt nothing short of incredible.

No amount of tears shed would keep any of this from happening, but shed they were at the first opportunity, a moment of privacy stolen for one last night before the Exalted Council drew to a close. It was a pitiful display that left Adam’s dignity in shambles and a nice wet spot on Dorian’s shirt, but he allowed himself this moment of selfishness. His Inquisition, his organization he had been so proud of, was a hollow shell of its former self, hollowed out by treachery and the animosity of the very people it had saved. While no longer dying because of the anchor, its loss left him disfigured and unable to fight for an indefinite amount of time. (He gets a very cool new hand later, but the interim is still just a bit miserable.)

It had all exploded in that trademark Reaver rage as he was fighting off a Qunari invasion that the rest of Thedas was none the wiser to, but now it collapsed into a singularity of sadness. Dorian held him for as long as he needed, though after a while couldn’t resist a playful jab about how this seemed excessive. Luckily Adam was too busy being lost in his own pathetic breakdown to notice the falter in Dorian’s voice. He stayed just a little bit longer than intended to make sure his amatus would be okay, recovering from an amputation and all, but the Magisterium could only wait so long.

Yeah, Adam made it about three weeks before he made the first of many trips to Minrathous. I haven’t quite worked out how they regularly see each other yet or how (it’s sad to think about okay), but they do. Maybe the still-Inquisitor travels a lot. Maybe concurrent rumors about the import of an ornate mirror that shines with an almost magical shimmer crop up in two different parts of the world.

No matter where they are, and no matter what happens, they'll face the uncertainty of the future together.