#dream big and the sky is the limit! but it's also extremely important to stay realistic and down to the ground with your ambitions

[lunasilvis]

contemplating the career on a wednesday

Think it's wisest if i'm gonna work till my early 30s for the dutch government (2-4 years total). mostly for building a solid resume fundament + maximally ensure savings. view that as the backbone of my future. then - in the meantime stay closely on the look-out for opportunities in canada or usa, so i can ultimately work towards my ambitions in a well-considered way :)

(good money = still enough trips to america (and any beautiful place elsewhere))

[sugar-petals]

sub!Yuzu | nsfw alphabet

🌹 NOTE ⇢ content for our fave figure skater, the legend himself. mr. yuzuru hanyu is 1000% dom candy and i’m here to honor it at length ⛸

— WORDS. 5k

tags + warnings. dom/sub dynamics, femdom!reader, role reversal hc, smut, kinks, cum play, spanking, sex toys, very freaky yuzu, kitten play, mdlb, crying kink, food play, prostate orgasms, bondage, some deeper stuff & angsty bits, asthma mention, aftercare

  A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

Once the cat ears come off, who is Yuzuru Hanyu not to remain in character for a while. For the shits and giggles, and because it’s cozy. Once a catboy, always a catboy, it’s the law of the land. Curling up, kneading at you for the head pats and massages, you know the programme. 

Also: Yuzu is famously soft-spoken and always finds the right thing to say. So, stimulating conversation for the cooldown. This is literally so nice. He’s unafraid to reflect everything in detail, say what he preferred, what you could change up together, what he wants to try next. The afterglow is not just physical, as in you give him something to drink, it’s 70% verbal which is very important to him as a consistent habit.

Of course, not to forget: Always gotta have a Winnie Pooh plushie ready. He embraces it readily and, as we know him, does some roleplay right then and there. Yuzu, professional cutiepie he is, is the kinda sub who treats all plush and pillow stuff as alive and breathing. You as his domme are in on the play and also treat his things as holy as they are to him. That Yuzu lets you into that world is the biggest compliment you can possibly get. 

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

We all know Yuzu’s godly ass and thighs. Or the staggering waist and beautiful black hair that makes him a total bombshell in his classic comb-back styles. His face is soft and expressive and so damn unique, his legs muscular and long, his back and tummy chiseled, the list goes on and on. Jesus, he has so many great features. All body parts a masterpiece. That are all capable of god-tier contortionism on top of that, gotta mention it in passing. Just so you know if you haven’t seen him bend his every limb into directions you wouldn’t believe are humanly possible. 

Interestingly though. If he chooses, Yuzu picks his feet: They are his most important instrument and weak spot. His ankles are where the magic happens. So, you taking care of them a little would mean the world to him, imagine a candle light massage. Not to worry, no-gross-alert. Yuzu has perfect and cute feet. That’s gonna be a Victorian moment, oh my god I saw his ankles. For his partner, short and simple: He likes a shoulder to lean on. He loves being touchy in general, all body parts are amazing to him. Being in a profession that’s all about the physics, Yuzuru knows about the wonders of the body.

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

Certified king of cumsluts, doesn’t even hesitate. The more, the merrier. If he’s not covered in sticky stuff, Yuzu would be underchallenged. It’s less about the taste, texture or any degradation, for him it’s the playing around with his tongue. Somebody wants his mouth preoccupied. Give the cat his milk. Feed him his own cum mixed with yours. He’s gonna lap at it and swallow.

Since Yuzu’s dream is a mommy domme baking him something, he just loves the smell of dough and hazelnuts and cinnamon and everything — you know what’s coming: Imagine the food play. Nuts indeed. Anything that even remotely looks like a creampie is something he wants to get his lips on. And Yuzu is not the type to be a foodie at all, let that sink in. Sexual-looking food is just too big a temptation, though. And you spoiling him that way... oh my. Surefire way to end up in bed right after. 

D = Dirty secret (pretty self-explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

Has a butt plug collection. Once almost went on the ice with one in. The more you know. Also— this guy is the kinda type fantasizing to get absolutely railed on a bed of plushies. He has troubles suggesting it to you because he doesn’t want them to get actually dirty. But the idea gets the two of you kind of horny. Sometimes, a thought is better as a fantasy than actually executing it. You can use it for riling up’s sake, whispering it to him during dirty talk. How you’ll bounce on him and ruin him and milk him while he’s splayed out so innocently on your bed. I smell corruption kink. 

Another secret Yuzu keeps is just how much he changed his mind about wanting his partner to control everything in bed. He grew up with a pre-defined ideal type of a cute, nice skater girl who’d let the reins very loosely around him, who he can speak Japanese to because he had problems with English, who is small and someone he will protect. It wasn’t something based on experience and trying things out: It was simply expected of him. People wanted the domineering Yuzuru on ice to be that way in private, and make use of his power, be a man, savior, boss. 

The reality being: He never felt truly as tough on the ice, nor was he gender-conforming in person. In fact, that is what he became famous for, and it reassured Yuzuru very often how people would accept and actually celebrate this side of him. Which is so refreshing, and a sight to see. The side that was dorky, clingy, childish, gorgeous, and cute has always been there, but now he embraces it more as his comfort place. He has to know what he’s doing in his skating programme and show competitive spirit to achieve his dreams, but that’s where it stops.

His former ideals are something people wanted to hear, it was an adaptation of the environment rather than thinking it through on his own. So, years later — oh boy have things changed. Yuzuru no longer defines his ideal type that way, saying whoever he likes is someone he’d be with. What was a fantasy template and filter is now gone and adapted to his newfound, own preferences. Yuzu is comfortably open-minded rather than being a copy to mainstream. He found fun in speaking English, opened up to the world at large, had more girls around him who he could befriend, grew more confident in his stature, and is well aware — turns out he’s the cute one. Who needs to be taken under a wing. He likes strong-minded girls and says if he had a wife, she’d dominate him. Yuzuru secretly wants her to be in charge entirely, she owns his body and soul. Not in daily life where things are just normal and everyone goes about their business. Sexually, where he surrenders instead, and is taken care of.

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

The tale of an introvert. What he knows — he hides it well. Has eyefucked a whole lot of people and is the type to lust like mad from a far distance, and nobody will ever know. Crushes harder than peppercorns in a mill. If he loves someone, it lingers in his mind every split second of the day, may god have mercy on him. And if you know him: Yuzu aims too high to keep it light and easy and clumsy. He hates being an amateur, he’s terrified of starting out something. He dreads not knowing what to do, how exactly to behave, talk, touch, breathe, respond, negotiate, prepare. That’s a hundred percent like hell to him.

Ironically, he has a natural feeling for it and he’s literally amazing in bed, has a sense for social interaction is all the way cute with something valuable to say. But what he believes is something way different. Yuzuru is a diehard, nervous perfectionist. He can only think of it as a rated performance since his mind usually has to work that way to skate well. His esteem is on a knife edge depending on how well he thinks he does. So, the inevitable: He will shy away from sex altogether. He draws immense skating passion from staying celibate, in fact it’s his success secret, but it still eats him up from the inside and makes him frustrated beyond measure. Not even for the pleasure, since he’s so ambitious that’s almost forgotten about, but for being told he did well. 

That’s how much he believes sex is a drill and capability test. And it’s sad that he thinks it’s like his skating career, racking up points for the impossible things judges want and being in a deadlock when it comes to showing his artistic side. He feels thrown into cold water if he doesn’t know everything beforehand. If he ever works up the courage, which probably won’t happen, he will pay an expert to learn from rather than let something all over the place happen with a random person or even someone he might like. 

Yes, you heard that right. He’d rather see a sex worker than ‘mess up’ his first time according to his sky-high standards. So, Yuzu’s experience remains limited since he’s so 100% do or die, and so anxious, and so torn about social interaction, he doesn’t get how his peers can be playboys and get married and flirt with someone they like and all that. He sort of has an easier time with guys, but girls... he can’t approach. To top it off, he also feels like he’d burden his first time one somebody or embarrasses himself, so he will reject and avoid suitors. Those are usually not the people he crushes so hard on to begin with. It’s bound to be one-sided and he knows, so he will abstain and focus on career and use the cheers of his fans as a substitute.

Truth is, he feels helpless and distant from sex sometimes, especially with his practice-heavy lifestyle and hyper-smart mind, Yuzuru has an intelligence that exceeds what most people can grasp. He’s alone on the ice and Brian as a coach is often the only reference person who truly gets him, and leads him well without being controlling. But that’s professional life. Sexually, Yuzuru is metaphorically: coachless. He surely observed it well when Javier (the #1 ladies man, his opposite) was still active and a social butterfly helping him fit in, but Yuzu would always be worried about his extreme fame and spotless image when introduced to someone fangirling over him. He’d rather prefer someone who comes across as a mentor and solid, loyal-to-death person to look up to. So he would do anything to have someone benevolent like that. Most girls would expect him to be the sex god and expert, but he knows that’s only half of the story and based on his characters on the ice. Yuzu crafts these to counterbalance how he really is — withdrawn and indirect. 

Yuzu is extremely calculating and selective, he scans suitors well, protects his reputation, and is mortified of failure. So, he’d rather learn it by the book and from someone he’s not emotionally attached to. In a one-night stand that might also be the case, but he doesn’t know what to expect, and he’s absolutely terrified of sudden sexual vulnerability. He himself often says he values his own struggle between feeling so weak and being strong again 

Besides: He’d have problems squeezing hookups into his schedule and lifestyle, he’d have to cut down on things and create a double life. Plus, Yuzu is famously inept with social interaction up close, he flees the noise and unpredictability. So, it’s better to have a long-term partner. If he doesn’t know something yet, he has it down in one day like the single axel. Definitely counts on his partner teaching him.

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

We know Yuzu’s signature move is the lean-back Ina Bauer. So, whatever position allows for an arch is the real deal (cough, taking the strap — oh my god his ass is made for it). But anyway, he can pull off anything with that stellar flexibility and core strength. 

If I think about it. Yuzu might like sitting on your lap very much. I know it’s not a sex position, I mean it can be once his inner lapdancer awakens or you use a strap-on, I rather mean... just for some sweet moments and making out. But yeah: Fathom Yuzu gyrating on your like that. Not in an outright lascivious manner or Chippendales style. The Hanyu way, with embellishments and all the grace. This is gonna be a huge turn-on and perfect foreplay position.  

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

Not much to elaborate here: Yep, Yuzu is true goofball indeed. Really flustered and clumsy when eye-to-eye in missionary, and yet: He’s ultra serious towards the end, there’s gonna be an aggressive staredown before cumming. The feeling gets pretty intense, his duality between silly and ‘yeah, give it to me’ is no joke.

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

Would probably die from inflammation if he shaved clean under those tight suits and did all these chafe-heavy skating routines. Doesn’t have a lot of body hair to begin with, but for pits and pubes, it’s alive, wild, and decently long. Out of all people, Yuzu cares particularly about aesthetics, but in this case pragmatism will prevail. He doesn’t care too much about it either as long as it doesn’t get in the way of something. Having sex with Yuzu tends to be well um well all about a hundred types of friction so any stubble would be a bad idea.

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

You haven’t seen a guy in love like that. It’s a figure skater thing for sure. Since he works to portray these sentiments on the ice daily, hardly anybody can play up feelings so delicately and palpably like Yuzuru. Emotion is what his entire career is built on. He knows how to express himself directly, appropriately, intimately. Couldn’t be any more romantic. Yuzu can’t go without it. 

Very passionate, ‘for your eyes only’ kind of atmosphere. Yes, he shows off on the ice, it’s his job (although of course, that word doesn’t really sum up what skating means to him). But private Yuzu is someone you can claim as yours. He will make it clear, he wants to belong to you, he’s yours, dedicated, devotion is the entire point. Less with a slant of what some subs like, very hands-on ownership of a mistress. It’s more emotional. He’s really attached and all smitten. Your private little haven is everything to him. 

Talking about little: Yuzu can be quite a pillow prince sometimes. At least when the initiative doesn’t go back and forth as it frequently does, you often alternate with suggestions and ways of tweaking an ongoing play session. You blindfold him or tie his wrists, He might be standard tired from practice or just fascinated to watch you work your magic on him. 

He also likes music to set the tone for intimacy, who’s surprised. Prepare: Yuzu likes dramatic classical music all the way. He’s probably one of the few people who can make it more than ‘classy’ and definitely more than cringe. He selects pieces very well. This is gonna be a practice template to cum together when the music reaches its peak. Makes the whole thing full of adrenaline.

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

Lots of fun to him. Would beat it 24/7 if the ice wasn’t calling him. Drowns himself in lube. This guy’s me-time is so rated R, Cardi B would be inspired to remix WAP to wet ass penis as an anthem just for him. A dry dick is a ruined day for Yuzuru, as is a session without teasing his prostate in whatever way he currently fancies. Once he tried it, he never went back. The intensity knocking him out is something that Yuzu thinks about all the time. Strokes like a pro, does all these little moans, can do it forever, loves the feeling, chases the high. Adrenaline junkie on the ice? No different with his hand around his cock. 

Will masturbate everywhere in the house and has to really get his head in the game to make sure he won’t ruin any carpets. So, he always has at least two towels with him. In the kitchen, in front of the TV, in the shower, the bed. Watches his fair share of eclectic porn, he gets really desperate. Especially before you started dating, Yuzu would shut himself in until the lotion ran out. Can jack off to something romantic (he starts crying) or something extreme (he loves shocking himself and ). 

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

Very curious about sadomasochism. Googles a lot of things that make him hard during the day. Often jawdropped by his research, but once he tries things out with you, nothing can really shock him anymore. Absolutely wants to be collared, it’s his biggest fantasy. Another little secret he has, Yuzu is decked out in skating gloves, right. He wishes he could feel you wearing them, or he keeps them on for sex himself, the lacey transparent ones. Looks especially pretty when his wrists are tied so, major photograpy material. Oh yes, Yuzu likes the camera, he can work it. The guy is photogenic in any position and can strike any angle you want. Your phone background is a new Yuzu snapshot every week already, imagine your gallery, 5800 kinky pictures.  

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

I’m gonna say it. The frozen lake out of town, late at night, condoms and lube with you. A quickie that will leave your genitals frozen. Yuzu might get stuck inside you because it’s -15 Celsius. Call that fantasy on ice. Jokes aside: Come on, Yuzu is the biggest ever hermit homebody. The couch will have a bunch of indents after your week-long fucking sessions after he comes home training. Also, at his desk while he does work for university. You ride him, Yuzu studies. Double the ambition. His dick is completely sore. The lake out of town thing might go down, but without sex. Just skating together under the stars, Yuzu doing amazing spins and spirals around you, very very romantic.

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

Yuzu is a crazed Sagittarius. Have you seen these men? They just want it all. Must be the influence of Jupiter. Zeus was definitely vibing that way. And yes, Yuzu has borderline unhealthy gold medal thinking in bed. He wants to be not just good but damn good with pleasing you. If you don’t have a good time and head home without an orgasm, he’ll consider himself a failure. Yuzu won’t cut himself any slack there. You’d have a hard time changing his ways into something more chill and moderate. Instead, you will see the benefits of rolling with it once you see how improvement fuels him and does make sex really mindblowing.

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

Couldn’t do things like slapping you, spanking. Yuzu makes for a terrible daddy dom, it’d not suit him.

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

Cum-dripping oral mess, Yuzu is the brave kind. Totally into it, and can’t resist a good blowjob. Will act different afterwards, there’s a lot of erotic tension. “This evening again?” is what those eyes are saying.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

Outstanding kinesthetic intelligence. Every inch of his body follows his intent, and yours if you have him take on certain ways of kneeling. Yuzu can do it all, whatever you want. Tantalizing, moderato, overwhelmingly fast. He can take it, he can portray it. And knows the value of a pause like a true connoisseur. Not just when he wants to prevent cumming early, also just because the moment is right. That’s why cockwarming is a staple, as well as you having him wait patiently for kisses. To top it off: If you give him a blowjob, building up the tension by doing nothing is damn effective. The ruined orgasms you’re gonna give him... delicious.

Everything’s gonna have nice transitions as well, no awkward climbing and rolling and tangling limbs. If he gets something from another room that you need, no slouching. The university course as good as the extracurricular activities. Being inconsistent with any subsidiary details? Not in the Hanyu household, he’s keeping it classy. Yuzu feels like if he makes the bridges to new positions even remotely messy, the feeling is killed and it’s as if he’d break character mid-skate. Although he’ll have to practice and refine and test a lot of things because he’s not super experienced and adapting to your own movements is an individualized thing to do, he’s a masterclass of quality, period.

Even when things get fast and heated, nothing feels off. Having that kind of body smartness also means: Yuzu learns by touch, whatever you do. He knows by the way you pull his hair what comes next. How much saliva drips off your tongue when you suck at his neck, he knows how hard you’ll to ravage him in five minutes. This guy observes things you aren’t even conscious of because his physical understanding is just so fine-tuned.

The sense of rhythm, and every skating programme of him will showcase that, unbeatable. Unless his mood is really impacted by something severe, your guy feels it in every bone. He’s an artist, after all, he listens to music all the time. Dissecting rhythms to turn them into movement is what his line of work is all about. The pace will always fit the mood. Everything is precise, but never crude. Instead, the way he moves is dictated by an inherent flow. With little accents that match right with any thrust, like putting his hands on your sides when you’re on top of him.

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

Hit it Shakira: Whenever, wherever! He seemingly carries an entire condom factory with him. Or, to be more exact: At least three of them.

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

This one’s a complicated case. Yuzu being reckless on the ice may or may not mirror in your private life. He might need some downtime, so bring out the soft domme stuff. No trial and error stuff, just going through a routine of things you love the most. On the other hand, he always gives it all. This guy’s endurance at your hands is amazing. Advanced kinds of BDSM he will not feel deterred from at all. Rough toys, anal hooks, sounding, whips, why not is Yuzu’s motto. But then again. He has such a confusing mix of innocence and feeling like he’s completely hardcore. You might end up experimenting a lot, but also not daring the leap sometimes because the mood is different. And then rather go for softer hours, where Yuzu will be all shy shy and more bursting with excitement than ever. A good, interesting mix is what I’m saying.

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

Yuzuru, once he gets a bit of practice to gauge the situation... Viagra on two legs, absolute unexpected powerhouse. You might end up pondering to work out a little and go for a run because this guy is in a consistently outstanding shape to say the least. Olympic athletes are literally hard to fuck with. And since Yuzu is starfishing sometimes (which is very adorable), or he’s in bondage for some time, that presents a further problem: For a second round, he’s full of energy, while you already spent energy. So, you alternate with who’s active, and the other leans back entirely. He has to remind himself since his body is programmed for it: This is no contest — the point is feeling good.

You might ride him reverse cowgirl all the way while you watch TV, and after the overstimulation fades he will eat you out ad nauseam, full course slobbering, sweeping the whole menu. That way, it’s less about keeping up with him, which would be hard for most people not doing sports at his galactic level. He understands, Yuzu knows he’s not normal in that regard, you don’t have to worry. Some exercise still doesn’t hurt, just to further increase the quality of sex anyway.

Then again: Why go jogging and do some laps wasting valuable together time when Yuzu’s lap is the best workout? And running doesn’t guarantee your stamina in bed is perfect even if it does help. You rather wanna manage how to draw out the arousal. It’s a self-control thing, with the goal of having you match up in every aspect as good as you can. In which case, you can count on him to pull it off: Have you seen Yuzu doing jumps side by side with a bunch of female skaters? Copy paste. This guy knows how to synchronize with the ladies.

Something that has to be mentioned beside that, though. Yuzu has asthma since 2 years old, and it’s often a mind thing to him still these days. He doesn’t let it stop him from sleeping with you because as always, he’s not letting anything get in his way. He has learned to live and thrive with it. But you both have to mind the possibility of an attack, he prevents it with inhalers, and the mood plays a crucial role. Yuzu being comfortable and confident is so important to his breathing, and keeping a good rhythm rather than being chaotic in bed. So, you will plan most of your sexual activities rather than improvising. 

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

Would stuff an entire sex shop into his every available orifice. Yuzu is a toy freak, he wants to try everything. Motto: a new one every day. Well, almost. But he can afford it. Buys stuff he uses solely on himself, things you use on him, things he uses solo and you use on him, and as the cherry on top, every possible high end vibrator on the market for you. Any size, too. This bitch will browse through the latest innovations, prepare to get off. He’s obsessed with seeing you use it on yourself. Yuzu owns a separate phone just for videos of you buzzing your clit, and him fingering you for minutes and minutes. 

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

Extremely so. Loves to be a total brat only to get put into his place. He does it so you’ll pull the chin grab on him. He likes getting choked out as a punishment as well. Yuzu also tends to be very around the corner if you will when it comes to soft subbing, he lays over expecting cuddles but doesn’t say so. Buds his head against your chest, nuzzles, and so on. Lighter forms of teasing come to him very easily. Loves to prompt. Roughhousing, banter, favorite thing.

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

Moderately loud because his voice is very very light, but unsurprisingly — he’s just beautiful. What a nice tone. Gorgeous whimpering sounds. And when you go hard on him, voice cracks! And really heavy breathing. What’s gonna be the most striking though is his expressiveness. We know it from the ice and interviews, and he can really amp it up even further. No need for screaming, that face will speak the volumes.

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

You’ll be blessed with him if you have a huge crying kink. Yuzu definitely opens the waterworks every other week in bed. Happy tears, horny tears, relief tears, aftercare tears, orgasm tears, masochist tears, romantic tears, subspace tears, he has it all. He also begs for the type of pain that makes it stream down his face for minutes. He’s touchy-feely all the way and feels like he can really connect with you that way.

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

His ass twitching is kind of a spectacle, but I don’t have to tell you, do I. Yuzu has muscles for the gods in there. So voluptuous, you can’t call it any other way. Big booty boyfriend, Jesus you can show him off, he loves it. Around the house, he will flaunt them big ole athlete buns in particular, acting like it’s unintended. Um, Yuzu, those are joggings. Smack it, he is sure to moan. 

And may I respectfully mention as well — this guy has some major big ass balls figuratively and literally. How else would someone be motivated to jump a triple axel like it’s nothing. Not kidding, they’re big and round and ugh. His love for tight pants doesn’t help. He knows what your eyes like and dresses just to flex the goods. Screams for more spanking and pinching if you ask me. Yuzu is definitely serving it. Well-endowed, you lucky girl.

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

Mega horny, ready when you are. On a scale from zero to hundred? Breaching into the 90 percent right there. Yuzu’s hormones are literally insane. On paper he’s 26, but his dick wants the 18th birthday party. Jesus is he gonna be clingy when he’s in the mood. All wrapped around you in a backhug in the kitchen or when you iron a costume of his, and that’s sexy of him. He’s not gonna hide what’s filling out those sweatpants. He’ll desperately grind up against you like it’s Christmas.

Paired with his puppy eyes and little “Do you have some time... I’ll iron this tomorrow” — instant pounce. He’s admittedly a bit hard to keep up with sometimes, though. The reason: With that level of exercise, he has major pent-up energy. That machine is definitely running. Heavy sports changes your hormones, nervous system, and especially blood flow. Now take that to the scale of his performances and regimens? That equals a firework of horny. No wonder he masturbates all the time.

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

Takes some time. He cools down, sweats it out, chugs water. However, don’t underestimate how tired Yuzu can already be. His daily routines and competitions have a toll on him. Ironically, he’s not a deep sleeper, however. Yuzu might toss and turn and have sudden energy bursts, or ideas, or gets hungry. So, he needs his plushies, he needs a weighted blanket, warm pajamas, a hot cup of his favorite warm drink, a light snack, and you by his side. Spooning him excessively and sometimes even humming to him. Yuzu looks like a certified angel on his pillow, his well-deserved rest from everything is so important, too.

NOTE - hope i could indulge you, thank you for reading!

© 2017-2021 submissive-bangtan. all rights reserved. no reposts allowed. depictions fictional.

[writingandmore]

Hi!!! May I get a HP, Star Wars, Voltron, and Disney matchup?

𝗕𝗔𝗦𝗜𝗖𝗦 + 𝗔𝗣𝗣𝗘𝗔𝗥𝗔𝗡𝗖𝗘

19, Libra, Neutral Good, enneagram is 4w5, muggleborn Ravenclaw (with Gryffindor tendencies), and my patronus spirit is Hummingbird. Biromantic Pansexual Genderfluid woman using pronouns of She/Her or He/Him. Cherubic-like face, with short height (5'1") plus sized Southeast Asian woman with Spanish descent that has chic messy/wavy brunette medium hair that reaches to my shoulder, oriental skin, slightly upturned eyes, small lashes, chocolate brown irises, cute flat nose, heart shaped face, full cheeks, cupid's bow lips, a small beauty mark on the forehead, and naturally straight teeth with tiny gap in front (just imagine that it's a mixture of Marinette from 𝗠𝗶𝗿𝗮𝗰𝘂𝗹𝗼𝘂𝘀 𝗟𝗮𝗱𝘆𝗯𝘂𝗴, Musa from 𝗪𝗶𝗻𝘅 𝗖𝗹𝘂𝗯, and Alexandra Trese from 𝗧𝗿𝗲𝘀𝗲---cause' my friend told me that I kinda look like them). My sense of fashion is in between emo and boyish plus korean glam, I sometimes let my hair down or styled like Lara Croft reboot.

𝗣𝗘𝗥𝗦𝗢𝗡𝗔𝗟𝗜𝗧𝗬

Distant, quiet, and timid at first making people thought I'm a demure, modest, and self-effacing that looks "immaculate" or "one of a kind" (due to my protective mom, a reason why I've never been in a relationship) but the truth is, dunno how to initiate a conversation, but a total opposite if I open up---friendly, ambivert, witty, laughing loudly on a daily basis---like my happiness is too shallow, super talkative, eats a lot (yeah I can finish a huge slice of cake or a meal in one sitting), awkward, daydreamer (I got embarrassed from knocking at the door even I'm inside the classroom 😂), EXTREMELY CLUMSY (mostly gets bruises from hitting, bumping my head somewhere, walking into something on my way, and being careless to my belongings), secretly likes affection, easily overwhelmed, prone to melt over wholesomeness, flusters on compliments, lightly blushes on cheesy banters, eager to share what I know (especially about Catholic Church---my past teacher joked that I'll become a saint because of it 🤣), oftenly speaks full of sarcasm with a lowkey crackhead energy citing meme references, and talented girl who can be your no.1 supporter and unashamed to be true to myself but can be awkward to strangers. In terms of leadership, I only educate and guide than being a prefect (I might take the role seriously), will lift my group when there's lacking/incompleteness. About doing projects in school, I become too extra and prepared for efforts, but I'll forget the process in the end.

The extent, I'm expressive, warm-hearted, willig to help, kind, intelligent, supportive, nice, creative, enthusiastic, laid-back, determined, tough, competitive, and feisty outside, but a real softie that can be childish and dramatic that cries so easily (but will enlightened real quick by smallest things that makes me smile) filled with doubts, frustrations, and insecurities with fear of failure that pushes off the limits to to please everyone because they might get dissappointed from expectations---I simply can't stop proving myself too much because I'm a survivor of bullying. But I still managed to be stronger than ever after I stumbled, even it's a slow burn process. I can be blunt, intimidating, harsh, and a douchebag if I receive ends or I got interrupted while doing something. Immature, headstrong, perfectionist, demanding, hesitant, jumpy, forgetful, overthinker, quick-tempered, sensitive, and anxious (no joke, my nervousness makes me think worse scenario will arrive). Though can be procrastinator and arrogant, I raised as a religious 𝖺𝗇𝖽 diplomatic youth, willing to fight what I believe (including my dreams and what's important to me) and what is right. In addition, I have a habit of staying up late and doing sign of the cross to ease nervousness.

Rowdy and feeling-brokenhearted and bitter friend in the group who fangirl a lot, swears like sailor, will call out on people that we loathe, will make fun of your stupidity (in a good way) before helping, and bring gossips, but a hopeless romantic and cheeky (makes banter with sarcasms or pick up lines as an endearment, but gets annoyed if I received sappy or offensive one), Still generous and concerned person in a subtle and different way.

𝗛𝗢𝗕𝗕𝗜𝗘𝗦

My hobbies are singing, drawing, roleplaying, listening to music, chatting/browsing on social media, conceptualizing, writing, and reading some stuffs. I'll include making corniest jokes/puns, sleeping, and dancing when nobody's around or walking like a model if I feel so bold (even I'm terrible at both xD). I also used to learn Italian language a bit.

𝗟𝗜𝗞𝗘𝗦

Loves kittens, milk tea, singing at the karaoke, cartoons, iced coffee, memes, cute things, watching YouTube videos (mostly pageants, ASMR, edit audios, and mukbangs), also enjoys playing games on my sister's PSP. Sucker for arts, choir, poetry, night sky, makeup, fun/deep/dumb conversations, Christianity, documentaries (about saints, real crime stories, and inspirational people), reading interesting stuffs, talking about social issues, and creative writing, chilling both indoors and outdoors. Beside that, my music taste are like late 90s-2000s songs (mostly rock, pop, and country) sometimes Catholic songs, kpop and ppop, chocoholic, and a sweetooth as well.

𝗗𝗜𝗦𝗟𝗜𝗞𝗘𝗦

Things that I hate are stereotyping, HUGE creepy crawlies (spiders, toads, snakes, and cockroaches), firecracker sounds, thunder and lightning, being left out, loneliness, heart break, blackout, and judgemental people. If I found out that someone hates or backstabbing or being rude to me, I won't hesitate to throw offensive criticisms, leaving them with a "I don't give a f" attitude. One random fact about me is, I 𝗐𝗂𝗅𝗅 vent out EVERYTHING I despise in my entire existence---from bad soap operas to toxicity, worse scenarios in real life, and how terrible is my love life from unrequited feelings that I got, because it's a big deal for me, and I consider forcing me to do what I'm not into and manipulating me as my major pet peeves.

𝗧𝗥𝗜𝗚𝗚𝗘𝗥𝗦

In terms of triggers...I only have two which are ta𝖨king about divorce/annullment/separation because I came from a generational broken family (it sucks that some people I knew assumed that the reason why I'm overly unaware that someone is interested in me in secret, is I have "high standards" looking for a partner, but the truth is I'm strict and I have a personal preferences...I know my worth and I don't want settle for less!) and religion/beliefs discrimination, cause' there are reasonings that doesn't makes sense because some, sounds too hypocritical, like as if you're a morally good person.

𝗥𝗢𝗠𝗔𝗡𝗖𝗘 + 𝗟𝗢𝗩𝗘 𝗟𝗔𝗡𝗚𝗨𝗔𝗚𝗘𝗦

My love languages are quality time and gift giving, but I actually swoon over physical touch (especially cuddles and cute kisses) and words of affirmation when it comes to having a partner, though I get attracted so easily, matured but can be a goofy person who's nice, friendly, kind-hearted, loving, faithful, and excels in academics is my cup of tea. Whenever I have a real life crush (which is rare), I act the same but deep inside, my heart is about to explode and will eventually share to my trustful friends how I highly admire that person, however if they spilled the beans out, I'll obviously deny it and will cry if they like someone else, it will take some time for me to move on, now I don't care for them anymore.

Best Friends to Lovers is my ideal trope because I find it very cute since you already knew each other before dating (which happened to my 2nd cousin, she married her best friend!)---perfect balance for romance, laughters, comfort, and tears when it comes to sharing your vibes, being there through thick and thin, safe with embraces, and helping each other to grow.

𝗧𝗥𝗜𝗩𝗜𝗔𝗦

My best assets are smile, eyes, personality, singing voice, artistic skills, writings, intelligence, oratorical skills and I have potential in hosting...so I can consider myself as a singer, artist, orator, speaker, and a top student who's a former active campus ministry member with three roles (choir leader, psalm singer, and reader).

May sounds different but I'm passionate for helping people through my talents and sharing my story to inspire everyone. I may look selfish, but I have a different way on how I show that I actually care also I have a biased sentimental value

Currently a college freshman, learning how to cook. I have so many interests, to the point I don't know what I'm into because of my dreams to become a popular Filipino YouTuber, a novelist, and being part of a successful chorale competing internationally...I also consider joining pageants at school too once the pandemic ends, but maybe.

HP: Remus!

- Remus is also quiet and a bit reserved when he's not in a familiar situation, so your own first impression on him would be a good one, as you'd seem similar to his own personality. He's sweet and is able to start up a conversation if he notices the other person is having a hard time doing so, so hopefully he'd be able to bring out your more extroverted and friendly self after a while so he can be around the more open you. He wouldn't mind you being a bit awkward-he's very much the same way-honestly, the comradery that would come from that would be more positive than anything else. He loves sharing knowledge and learning about new things, so your eagerness to talk about what you know would work really well also! He does a lot better when he knows someone has his back too, so your extra supportive nature would endear him to you as well.

SW: Han!

- Your nicer and more helpful personality would balance out Han's more standoffish vibes when first meeting. You might get on his nerves a bit first, but you'd quickly grown on him and, in turn, make him a bit of a better person. Your ability to be blunt and a bit harsh would serve you well if you ever needed to stand your ground on an issue that two of you have, as he can be quite stubborn.

VLD: Lance!

- Lance can be a bit immature from time to time as well, especially when it comes to trying to be funny or cheering up those around him-he's also headstrong and typically firm in what he wants to do, so your own determined personality would attract him to you a lot as well. He often puts off things he needs to do if they make him anxious too, but if you both recognize that you share that problem, helping each other might be a good solution!

Disney: Flynn!

- Flynn is quite a sarcastic and teasing person, so your own humor would match well with his. He's also quite a hopeless romantic as well, even though he's certainly not one to admit that right off the bat. He enjoys singing, and as he gets closer to someone he feels more comfortable doing so in front of them, so a partner he's been with for a long time would get to see him be more and more open with it. That also applies to activities like dancing.

[jesussavedevenme]

To Be A Knight

This is the beginning of a collection of one shots following Seth's adventures as a Knight of the Dawn

Description: Like most young boys Seth had always dreamed of being a spy. He had spent most of his childhood sneaking around the house with a walky-talky while humming the Mission Impossible theme song. And while he technically still wasn't a spy,he was pretty darn close.

May 20

St.Matthew's Island, Alaska

6:25 pm

"Sorenson, I've got a job for you." came a gruff voice from down the hall. Seth turned and saw his handler, a man by the name of Flynn Hotching, leaning out of the door to his office. Flynn was a tall and strong man with a broad frame. At fifty five he was in excellent shape and the only indications to his age were the flecks of white that were sprinkled throughout his dark hair and neatly trimmed beard. Flynn was a serious man and often gave off an intimidating vibe, but Seth knew that he wasn't that bad once you got to know him.

Seth stood, ignoring the way his back popped and cracked in protest because of how long he had spent sitting in the rather uncomfortable wooden chair. He had once started a petition to replace them with those really comfortable bean bag chairs. He actually had quite a few supporters. But Flynn, being the man he was, just rolled his eyes and walked away. Seth could feel the stares of his fellow knights burning into the back of his head as he made his way over but opted to ignore it. Seth got missions quite frequently, a fact that many knights were slightly jealous of since it would occasionally get him out of some the more mundane tasks a Knight had to complete. For example, paper work. Which is what he had been doing when he had been called. He quickly made his way over, eager to get away from the evil sea of inevitable paper cuts. He couldn't help but chuckle as he mentally heard Eve calling him a drama queen. Though she wasn't much better.

Flynn barely waited for the door of his to close behind him before he began pouring out the details of whatever job he had lined up.

" There's a dealer that's been causing us some problems. They are preying on creatures such as unicorns and there has been some rumors that they are working with some less than savory characters. I need you to track them down. " Flynn stated firmly. Seth narrowed his eyes, there was no way it was that easy. If it was that simple then they would have brought in a rookie.

"Ok, what's the catch." He replied crossing his arms over his chest.The man heaved a sigh before sliding a file towards him.

" The catch is we don't have any idea who the dealer is. We don't even have a description. However, all of our dealers crimes have a certain flare to them and we have reason to believe that he is human. We have intercepted news of a deal taking place in three days in Belize. "

Seth read the file and whistled at the lack of information. The file was extremely limited which meant that whoever was doing this knew what they were doing. The Knights of the Dawn had excellent connections and kept tabs on every possible threat so for them to be this uninformed- well lets just say it wasn't good. It also meant he was walking into this mission completely blind. He couldn't plan for anything meaning he had to plan for everything. He had no idea what was going to happen once he got there but, if you ask Seth, that was part of the fun.

"Alright I'll do it." Seth replied after a moment of thought. He had to admit he only pretended to think about it, mostly just for the suspense. He had always loved a good mystery and this mission honestly excited him.

"Good, your plane leaves tomorrow at eight am sharp. You will be issued a bag that will be stocked with supplies but I advise you to bring anything you think would be useful" He said gesturing to the satchel over his shoulder, that served as his emergency kit. " I have wired five thousand dollars into your account but if you need more than that you know who to call." Seth nodded, placing the folder in his satchel and walked out of the office, heading to his apartment to prepare for the mission ahead. He pulled his coat tighter around his body as he walked outside and realized that it was later than he had originally thought. The sun was just beginning to dip below the horizon and though Seth loved the pinks and oranges that painted the sky, he could practically feel the temperature dropping. Last time he had checked it was 25 degrees, which is no where near as cold as it could get but it was still very cold. Despite how long he had been in Alaska, he had yet to get used to the bitter cold. And he honestly didn't think he ever would. Seth guessed he should count himself lucky, this was the Knights biggest base and it had been cleverly hidden by distractor spells as well as the natural terrain of the island. Seth shivered as a strong gust of wind blew through the base reminding him of the other reason it stayed hidden from most people. Luckily he lived on the grounds of the base so it was only about a minutes walk.

The Knights of the Dawn had no shortage of money. Seth wasn't sure how they got there hands on so much money and honestly he didn't want to know. It was all warranted though considering how many supplies they had to buy along with the amount of damage control. It was amazing sometimes how much chaos a secret organization could cause. Seth knew he definitely wasn't the favourite over in the legal department because of some of the 'incidents' that had been a result of his missions. Seth was proud to be able to state that these incidents were few and far between but when they did happen he knew they had to be a nightmare to clean up.

Needless to say, with all that money, his apartment was very nice. It had a decent size living room and kitchen which connected go a small dining area. Upstairs there was two bedrooms and a bathroom. Seth's furniture was pretty sparse if he was being honest. He had a couch that had been there when he moved in, his bed, a desk, a small dining table that has also come with the apartment, as well as few chairs scattered here and there. It didn't bother him in the slightest. He honestly wasn't here that often. He slept there when he wasn't out on missions which, once again, was pretty rare. Besides the real fun began downstairs. He walked down the stairs into what appeared to be a musty, unfinished basement. A punching bag hung from one of the exposed beams and a small pile of weights sat not far from it. Seth rarely used those, they were reserved for restless nights when the big communal gym and training area was closed for the night.

Seth strode confidently towards the back wall and slid away a lose board revealing a keypad. It was truly a horrible hiding spot for something that important but there wasn't really anything he could do about it. The neat thing about the keypad though was that it had been enchanted so that he was the only one who could touch it. Meaning that not only did you need the correct code, but he had to be the one to punch it in. He wasn't exactly sure what would happen if someone else touched it but he knew it would do more than just set off an alarm. Stuff like always made Seth feel like a true spy and totally made up for the unsecured hiding space.

Seth punched in the code and heard the distinct sound of stone scraping on stone, briefly reminding him of his few days spent in the Sphinx's prison. When the sound stopped, a small opening was revealed that lead to a room containing his weapons and supplies. From the outside the room appeared to be tiny and cramped but it had also been enchanted to be much bigger on the inside. It wasn't quite as big as the knapsack they had all those years ago but it was nothing to sneeze at. Still, no matter how big it was on the outside, Seth had to crouch down to fit through the opening. The door frame was ridiculously short and the amount of time he had smacked his head against the top was honestly embarrassing. The supplies inside the room was a knights dream. There was everything you could dream of, swords, daggers, armor, bows, you name it. The special thing about this room though, was that most of the items were his. They were things he had gathered prior to becoming a knight. Seth also had several magical talismans and tools that had gotten him out of more than a few sketchy situations. His favorite talisman was a ring that sat on his right forefinger. The ring had been a gift from The Fairy King when Seth had been accepted into the Knights Academy. It was pitch black and didn't look like much at first glance however, when you looked closer you could see three unicorns that were engraved on its surface, each of which served more functional purposes. The first unicorn, when pressed, sent out a distress signal strong enough to reach Bracken even if he was in the fairy realm. The distress signal also went out to anyone who had a connected talisman. At this point the only ones being himself and Kendra who had gotten hers when she officially began dating Bracken in the form of a bracelet. The second unicorn held a few precious drops of unicorn blood. The substance could heal almost anything but it could only be used once. The final unicorn was arguably Seth's favorite. When it was pressed it would release a pearly white dagger which had been extremely helpful in the past. The downside to this tool was that, since it was made of light, he tended to have a harder time controlling it.

Seth looked through his stash, trying to decide which weapons were right for this particular mission. He knew at this point stealth was key but if you leave for a job without a weapon, you're just going to get yourself killed.

When going on stealth missions the best route to take is small weapons that can be easily concealed, such as daggers or blow darts. However, the problem with that was those were easily detected when going through airport security. Ever since becoming a knight Seth had decided that he hated flying. It was loud, chaotic, and absolutely impossible to tell who was a danger to you.

Plus carrying weapons onto the plane was pretty much impossible but, a knight needed to be prepared in every situation. The weapon had to be easily accessible, ready at a moments notice, and the best way to do that is to build a weapon that doesn't look like a weapon. Seth walked over to a small red tool box tucked away in the corner, and pulled out a large nut and and tied a piece of cord to it. He secured the cord and then started to spin it, making sure nothing was going to fall off. And just like that he had a weapon that made a killer whip and could easily crack a mans skull if it came down to that. The best part was that it wouldn't trip any alarms. Sure it might seem a little odd that someone carries a piece of cord tied to a nut but, he wouldn't get arrested for it. Seth tied the lose cord around his neck, creating a necklace that he could hide underneath his shirt until it was needed. When that was finished he turned his attention to his emergency kit and sifted through the various items, taking out anything that would tip off a scanner. Seth gathered the items that he had taken out and moved towards the suitcase that he would be taking with him. He felt around one of the sides and unzipped a pocket so small that you most likely wouldn't see unless you knew it was there. In the pocket he placed the remaining items of his emergency kit. This time he wasn't worried about the items being seen as the pocket had been enchanted to hide the items from sight. Seth then repeated the process with the bottom of the suitcase, peeling back the inside to reveal a similar compartment that had also been enchanted to be bigger. In this pocket he placed two daggers, A blow gun and darts, and his favorite sword. He pulled the sword out of it's sheath and inspected it for any chips or dull edges. The sword was jet black and held the name Shadow Slayer, which was kind of ironic given its nature. The sword held just enough darkness to work well with him but not so much that there was a risk it would corrupt him. He had found the sword while on a mission for the fairy realm not long before joining the Knights. He was pretty sure he wasn't going to use it because lets face it, milk or no milk a sword was still a sword. However, Seth had learned that it payed to be prepared. So with that thought in mind, he placed the sheathed sword in the compartment, closed it up, and began to carry it upstairs to his bedroom. He filled the rest of the suit case with clothes and other essentials and once he was satisfied that he had everything, he closed it up.

He slumped down in his desk chair and pulled out the file he had stashed in his emergency kit, pouring over what little detail it had and attempting to prepare for what was to come.

†††††

May 21

St.Matthews Island, Alaska

5:00am

The next morning Seth was up well before five am preparing for the mission ahead. Thankfully he had always been a morning person so the early hour didn't bother him in the slightest. He grabbed his bags and exited the apartment, heading to the missions office to pick up the final things he would need for this job.

The lady at the desk, He pretty sure her name is Jennifer, smiled at him as he approached the counter. She was a women in her mid thirties and she was one of the nicer people that worked the desk. There were quite a few of the people working here that obviously didn't want to and others who even seemed to resent it. Seth really couldn't blame them though, he had worked here for a few months while he was going through training and it definitely hadn't been the most fun or exciting job out there.

" ID and case number?" She asked as more of a formality than anything else. Seth was such a regular visitor that he was pretty sure they knew who he was. However, since it was required, he slid showed them his badge and rattled the number off anyway. Seth supposed that he coukd see the logic behind the badge. It was a way of identifing someone beyond ther looks. All of them had been enchanted fo return to their owners, generally via their pocket, should they be lost. Seems simple and secure enough. However, in their line of work things were rarely that black and white. Seth is not entirely sure what would happen to the badge if their was a stingbuld or if the enchantment could be removed. Luckily they didn't do much. They were just means of identification and they didn't let you into anything at all. Any area qhich required a certain level of access had several different enchantments placed on it. Ones that were designed to recognize the person requesting access and weed out potential imposters. After the battle of Zzyzx and the whole mess with the Evening Star, the knights had undergone huge security upgrades. Bracken as well as one of his sisters, Iredessa, had set mist of the enchantments. Kendra had also played a major part on strengthening these enchantments a few years ago.

The case numbers were pretty harmless. Not the most secure but all they did was let the people at the desk know what bag of supplies to get. It didn't give access to any crucial or confidential information. The most a fake could get was an issued duffle bag and possibly some.plane tickets.

Jennifer smiled as she stood and disappeared through a secured metal door. When she returned a few minutes later she was carrying a black duffle bag which she passed to him over the counter along with a two way plane ticket.

"Thanks a lot," Seth told her, flashing a bright smile her way. She hummed in response before responding,

"Stay safe out there,"

"I'll try my best," Seth replied with a grin as he headed towards the door and began the short treck to the parking lot where a car would take him to the airport. He knew he must have looked a little funny carrying around a huge duffle bag, suit case and a leather satchel that sat across his shoulder but he wasn't worried. Every Knight here had been in similar situations before. Seth looked around the parking lot, squinting in the bright morning sun, before making his way to the small grey jeep that sat close to the front. Leaning against the side was a tall guy with wind blown red hair and a lean build. Seth smiled when he spotted him. The man's name was Parker and he was one of Seth's closest friends here on the base. They had gone through training together though, Parker was about three years older than him. He was twenty-four while Seth was only twenty-one. Seth, unfortunately, hadn't had a lot of friends at that time. Because of his shadow charmer status, people tended to be wary of him but Parker had never been deterred by his abnormal abilities.

In between his own missions Parker volunteered to drive Knights back and forth to the airport. Due to Seth's frequent missions, the two usually ended up paired together.

"Another one Sorenson? Didn't you just finish that one in Sweeping Pine preserve like a week ago?"

" Yeah, Jealous?" Seth teased, raising his eyebrows. Parker laughed and shot a playful glare at the taller boy. Despite Parker's tall height, he was still at least and inch shorter than Seth. Though to be fair, not many people were taller than Seth. A fact that many people found unsettling.

" Just a little bit dude. What, you trying to show the rest of us up or something?" Parker laughed back, poking Seth in the side as he got into the car. Seth rolled his eyes as he loaded his bags into the car before following Parker's lead. They road in silence for several minutes as Parker navigated his way out of the crowded base and set up the directions to the international airport. It wasn't everyday that a Knight flew internationally for a mission. Generally if they were going to somewhere outside the country they were going to a preserve and would have to be flown there by helicopter or other means. So while it did happen, it didn't happen often.

Seth used the temporary quiet to unzip the bulky duffle bag and look at its contents.

Looking into his bag for a mission and seeing the certain supplies or gadgets still made him a bit giddy. Like most young boys, Seth had always wanted to be a spy. He had spent most of his childhood sneaking around the house with a cheap walky-talky while humming the mission impossible theme song. And while he technically wasn't a spy, he was pretty darn close. One of the common misconceptions about the Knights of the Dawn was that they didn't use any human or modern technology such as computers and other gadgets to do their job. However that was far from true. Sure they tended to avoid it when dealing directly with magical creatures, but they often used these gadgets for things such reconnaissance.

Inside the bag was some of the things you would expect such a binoculars and many more that you wouldn't expect. Seth's favorite part of these bags were the small box near the bottom that generally came with each one. The box contained different potions that you might need for the mission. Seth had always found potions to be fascinating. There had even been a time that he had considered going into the field himself. For this particular mission he had been given a night vision potion which was pretty self explanatory, An eavesdropping potion that enhanced his hearing and allowed him to listen in on a conversation without getting too close, and a form of truth serum that would loosen the lips of of someone you wish to get information from. There was at least three bottles of each along with the normal defense and first aid potions that were added. Such as, the gaseous potion, a potion for pain, a salve for injuries and many more. On top of that Tanu insisted on making sure that Seth was always stocked with his own personal set of potions. Tanu usually supplied him with more gaseous potions, a gummy potion, a giant potion, a new potion that enhanced his focus and his reflexes, as well as plenty of first aid related ones. He seemed to be convinced that Seth would end up seriously injured on every mission. Though sadly, Seth could admit, that the worry wasn't completely unfounded. Other than the potions, the bag contained an enchanted communicator, a few listening devices, a laptop, and a few other useful knick knacks.

" Got anything good in there?" Parker questioned.

" You bet," Seth replied holding up the box of potions that was in his bag even knowing that with his friends eyes on the road and so Parker probably couldn't see them. Parker laughed anyway not needing his eyes to know what Seth was referring to.

" Seth, I swear I have never seen anyone get so excited over potions before."

" What can I say, I'm a simple guy," He replied earning a scoff from Parker.

" Uh huh, says the literal Shadow Charmer who has a mission every other week," The pair laughed once again and fell into an easy back and forth banter. Continuing there shenanigans until they pulled into the airport. It was then, as much as he, loathed to do it he bid Parker farewell , thanked him for the ride, and walked into the crowded airport.

Arriving at the airport was just as hectic as he expected it to be. Of course it was crazy for everyone but, it was even more so when you are constantly looking over your shoulder or waiting to get stopped by airport security. Thankfully he was able to board the plane okay even if his makeshift weapon did raise a few eyebrows.

Something Seth had learned was that a knight should always fly economy. It may not be the most comfortable but few people would start a fight with that many witnesses around. Plus it was easier to blend in. A tee shirt and some jeans and you were all set. Ready to settle in for a long flight.

Seth popped one ear bud in his ear but left the other out in order to let him hear incoming threats. Seth found it impossible to sleep on a plane, no matter how long the journey was, because of the unknown circumstances. It would be difficult to keep an eye on people and to know who was a threat. Unlike Kendra, Seth hated reading. Only a few books had every managed to hold his attention for any.period of time. He was too restless. He would much rather be doing something outside. Moving and exploring. He didn't mind doing art, sketching being his favorite. However, that was difficult to do in a crowded, bunny plane. So Seth resigned himself to a long ride half listening to music and ignoring the guy beside him who vaguely smelled like onions.

††††

May 22

Corazol, Belize

4:45 pm

Seth stretched his stiff legs as he walked from baggage claim to the exit of the airport. He breathed deeply and relished the feeling of the sun on his skin, even though he knew he would quickly become hot. But, after a long eight and a half hour flight, they were welcome changes. He glanced at the clock hung on the wall and noted the time. He knew that Corazol Belize was about two hours ahead of Alaska. Not that it mattered. Seth was pretty much immune to jet lag at this point. Not necessarily because of the constant travel, though that certainly helped, but because of the erratic and uncertain sleep schedule he had become used to while on any mission. His body had become well trained in sleeping whenever it was told. The only thing that interrupted this was nightmares but he rarely got those while on missions because his mind was too focused on other things. Seth would never admit it but that's one of the reasons he takes on as many missions as they will give him.

Seth's hotel was not far from the airport so he opted to walk there. He had done some research the night before and found a hotel that he rented under the name of Roger Alpine. The Knights would usually rent one for you but Seth preferred to do it himself. To say the hotel he chose was run down would be putting it nicely. The paint was peeling horribly from the siding and it was definitely not on the nicest side of town. The rooms were separated from the outside by a door with A flimsy looking lock, something Seth would secure once he had settled in. The room held a musty scent mixed with the smell of cigarette smoke. There was a bed in the center of the room, covered in some unsettling stains, a side table and lamp beside it, and a desk under the window. The window itself had a pair of thin ratty curtains and crooked blinds. There wasn't much Seth could do about the window, except string up a blanket, which he did. Opening his suitcase and removing his clothes, he opened the hidden compartment. From inside he took out the pieces of his emergency kit that he had stashed. He also opened up the duffle bag he had and pulled out a few other various knick knacks that he thought he might find useful. He then empty the remaining items into the compartment at the bottom of his suitcase. Leaving the duffle bag empty. This was.common practice for Seth in a place like this. He didn't want to leave his unused supplies in a relatively unprotected duffle bag while he was away. Unfortunately this was something Seth had learned the hard way.

In the end Seth was left with: the box of potions, a rope, a small bottle which held a thin dust that immediately soaked into the skin upon contact allowing the victim to be tracked, dark sunglasses (which did indeed have a camera and microphone installed) , a slingshot, some marbles( which as Seth had found were great for distractions), binoculars, and a pair of ear buds. All of these things were packed neatly into his emergency kit, ready for use. He still had his makeshift weapon secured around his neck and two knife secured in a holster and strapped to each of his legs. He had glanced mournfully at his sword but knew that it would only draw in wanted attention. Besides today wasn't about getting into a fight. Today was about exploring Corazol and getting a lay of the land. Still it played to be prepared, hence the knives. Finally, satisfied that he was ready, Seth left the dingy hotel room and began to wander along the streets. Searching for anything that might lead him in the right direction.

Corazol was a quaint little sea side town. You could smell the salt in the air, carried by the cool breeze. Corazol was small in population but it also had its fair amount of tourists. Especially right now with summer just around the corner. The busy streets were lined with street vendors all vying for his attention but Seth was more interest in searching his surroundings. The smells coming from said street vendors were heavenly and caused his stomach to crumble loudly reminding him that not only had he not eaten breakfast this morning, but that he had been walking for over an hour. Technically he could have rented a car, he definitely had the funds for it, and most Knights probably would. However Seth, was not most Knights. He didn't like rental cars for many reasons, one because it was easier to see a car and a license plate then just someone walking in a crowd. Two, every rental car was required to have trackers and such in them to prevent theft which was fine in most cases but problematic for him. That wasn't necessarily a huge risk but it was still one Seth wasn't willing to take. Maybe he had grown paranoid, but he was still alive so there's that. Finally he didn't like rental cars because, in his line of work, it was likely to get beaten up or destroyed. Plus having a car would cause him to miss out on the unique sights, sounds, and smells. That is yet another thing Seth loved about his job. It allowed him to travel the world and to see as well as, experience things he would never get to otherwise.

He had to admit this was a good place to go if you were going to hunt for artifacts and magical creatures and then illegally sell them . The Cerror Ruins were only a few miles away and Seth knew that it was a prime spot for missing person's cases, especially when people wandered off alone. He hoped beyond hope that he wouldn't have to venture there during this trip but, that's definitely where he would go if he was an illegal dealer trying to avoid the Knights as well as any other prying eyes and ears. Plus it wasn't exactly a place you would expect anything big to happen. And besides the Cerror Ruins, their wasn't really anything magical about the place. It honestly seemed kind of ordinary. It was perfect because it tended to be overlooked.

After another thirty minutes had past, the rumbling in Seth's stomach became too overwhelming to ignore and he resolved find a place to eat. He stumbled upon a small hole in the wall restaurant that seemed to be pretty popular amongst the locals. Meaning it was the perfect place for Seth to gather some information.

Even though he worked directly with magical creatures, you'd be surprised how many times he had to interact with regular people. The knowledge gathered from these people was often shaky at best and should definitely be taken with a grain of salt. However, this information often helped him form some semblance of an idea. In his experience Seth had learned that regular people noticed a lot more than even they realize. In addition most people never pass up a chance for a good gossip. And since they didn't know how valuable their information was, they were a lot less stingy with it. The only problem you run into is when they begin to ask questions and wonder why you're asking and who you are. When that happens you become the subject of gossip and word will eventually get back to you enemy. That's why Seth hated small towns. The information might be easier to come by, but it was also easier to get caught. And getting caught meant revealing your mission too soon.

In his line of work , timing was everything. Move in too soon and you risk blowing you cover as well as the entire mission. However, if you don't move in quick enough you'll miss your chance to get your guy. That perfect timing came only when you knew you enemy better than they knew themselves. It came from careful observation and lots of Intel.

Gathering Intel was arguably one of the most boring and tedious parts of Seth's job. It involved a lot of waiting, listening, learning, more waiting, and every once and awhile, a well calculated risk. Luckily, for Seth, his shade walking gave him an edge in this particular area. The ability allowed him to get closer to his enemies so he could overhear plans and put together one of his own. However no ability came without its share of risks. He had gotten a lot better at learning to shroud himself in the shadow to help cover his movements when shade walking but it wasn't an exact science. Not adding enough shadow would reveal his position should he happen to move too quickly however, adding too much shadow could be just as revealing.

Seth's favorite way of gathering Intel was doing exactly what he was doing now. Finding a place to eat while he sat back and listened. Small places like the diner he had just entered were prime spots for gossip. Additionally, they gave him an opening to talk with the locals in a relatively unsuspicious way. People tended to loosen up and talk more freely when both parties were eating. Plus it gave Seth a reason to try all the local dishes. Most of which were pretty good. The smell of home cooked food hit his nose the minute he walked through the door making his mouth water so much it was a wonder he didn't start drooling. He was met at the entrance by a plump, kind looking lady, who appeared to be somewhere in her mid fifties judging by the gray streaking through her black hair. The hair was pulled tightly into a bun at the back of her head, accentuating her full rosy cheeks. He apron stated that he name was Rosa which somehow seemed to fit her perfectly, even thought Seth didn't know her. She gave off a very motherly vibe that instantly made Seth feel at home. With a smile she led Seth to a table and asked him for his drink order. To which he replied with a simple black coffee. Coffee was something Seth had quickly become addicted when he became a Knight. It often helped him through the multiple all nighters he pulled while on a mission. Some minutes later she returned with his coffee, this time ready for his order of food.

" What would you recommend. I'm from out of town so I'm counting on you to hook me up with the good stuff," He said with a wink. Rosa laughed heartily and replied with a thick accent,

" Well only for you I will tell you my personal favorite," She rattled off the name of a dish which sounded completely foreign to Seth but he wasn't going to admit that.

" Ok then, you've talked me into it,.I'll get that," He replied and as Rosa turned to leave he continued, " And could you do me a favor and just wave your little magic wand and take all the fat and calories out for me," Once again Rosa replied with a full bellied laugh.

"You are a funny man. But for you I will have to add extra. Maybe then some of it will stick. You look like you need it," She teased in return before turning a leaving Seth alone once more. He leaned back in his chair, and pulled out his phone. Absent mindedly scrolling through something or another and trying to hide the fact that he was listening to the conversations around him. The diner was loud, making it difficult to discern the voice of only one person. Seth was tempted to use the potion he had that would hone his eyesight and hearing but didn't want to waste it seeing as he only had one. It would be unfortunate to use all of it now at the beginning of the mission when he could need it more later on.

His thoughts were interrupted by Rose who had come with his food. Seth was shocked at how quick the service was seeing as it was rush hour and the small diner was packed to the gills. With the meal she also brought his check. Seth glanced at the check, surprised at the low prices considering the quality of the food.

" Well would you look at that! you must have given me the senior citizen discount!" He paused for the laugh that he had come to expect and then followed up with, "So what are some cool things to do and see while I'm here, anything particularly interesting?"

" Oh well the Cerror Ruins are always a prime spot for tourism but you must be careful to stay on the trails. Too many people wander off and go missing. One of my favorite things is to see the sights at night. The water takes on this stunning color and you can see the star as clear as day. But if you choose that route you best stay away from Devils Tavern. Its on the North end of Corazol, close to the beaches. That place is nothing but trouble, and full of shady characters, especially recently," Rosa said. Rosa was obviously the type of person who talked openly once you got them going. The last part of her sentence caught Seth's attention.

" Really, shady people in this town? Surely not everyone seems so nice,"

" You are young. You haven't seen the darkness of man. People are not always as they seem child," She replied with a sad smile. Seth internally rolled his eyes. If only she knew. " But yes, a week or so ago , this man arrived and came into the diner to eat. He seemed normal enough even if he was a bit rude. However, later that night I saw him outside the Devils Tavern, its on my route home you see, and he was talking in hushed tones with another man. They were standing in the shadows real creepy like. I wasn't really able to hear what they were saying but they didn't sound to happy and they looked like they were planning something, " Rosa finished with a grim look on her face. A look that didn't last long as it was replaced with her usual bright smile.

Seth stored the information away for later, and smiled brightly in return. Acting as if the information had no effect on him at all. Something that had always made Seth a good agent was his poker face. He had a good control over which emotions showed on his face. This was a vast contrast to Kendra who tended to be easily read, like an open book. One with pictures and big letters. A fact that Seth ,and surprisingly Bracken, had teased her relentlessly for.

" Well I won't keep you, thanks for chatting with me . And I will be sure to check out those suggestions," He said, putting an end to the conversation. Seth then dug into his food, nearly moaning at the taste. It was incredibly good. Probably one of the best meals he's had while on a mission. While he ate, he began to sift through the information that he had been given. As always he had to wonder how much of it was true, seeing as people had a tendency to exaggerate. He also couldn't bring himself to believe that Rosa stumbled upon the Devil's Tavern, a place she claimed to despise, on her way home. From what he had seen of Corazol most of the housing was away from that part of the beaches. He wasn't going to completely discredit it but as Rosa had said, people aren't always who they seemed. However, no how much truth there was in the statement, one thing remained true. Tonight he was heading to the Devil's Tavern.

†††††

May 22

Corazol, Belize

10:00pm

Seth walked through the darkened streets. Careful to remain close enough to the street lights so as not to unintentionally shade walk. He had gotten a lot better at controlling it but it still happened from time to time. And he couldn't afford giving himself away like that. Just in case there were eyes watching him that he could not see. He had done a pretty good job of keeping on the down low. After lunch he had wandered around the streets a bit more and then headed to the beaches. Particularly the part of the beach close to the Devil's Tavern. The Devil's Tavern had been relatively quiet during the day. The sign had stated that they were opened but it had seemed oddly empty. That was a stark contrast to what he was seeing now.

The tavern now seemed to be packed to the gills with people. And even more of them were standing outside. Even from where he was standing a few feet away he could hear the loud music that played he could see the bright, colorful lights shiny through the windows. As Seth drew closer he saw a problem. Standing at the door was a big burly man wearing dark sunglasses and a tight short sleeved T-shirt that accented his bulging muscles. He was shorter than Seth, most people were, but he made up for it in width. Seth was considered to have pretty wide shoulders and his years of training had hardened his muscles into steel cords. However, none of this reassured him as he stared at a man that looked like he could snap him in half like a twig. He wasn't scared of the man per say. But, he was definitely cautious.

As Seth approached the man he seemed to be doing his own analysis and his stance showed that he didn't feel even the slightest bit intimidated. Which was fair and actually worked to Seth's advantage He had done his best to tone down the darkness of his aura that seemed to put people on edge. Plus the leather jacket he had opted to wear hit the bulk of his muscles, which weren't overly pronounced to begin with, as well as a few... other tools. Aside from the daggers strapped to his legs and the makeshift weapon around his neck, he had three throwing knives cleverly hidden in the folds of his jacket. Unfortunately, much to Seth's displeasure, he had once again leave his sword behind. As weird as it may sound he felt like the sword gave him a better sense of security than the multiple knives strapped to his body. He was dangerous with both weapons and that was disregarding the fact that he was a shadow charmer. So even without the sword, he was hardly helpless. Still, he always felt oddly bare without it. A look settled on the bouncers face. A look that Seth had often seen on bullies when he was a kid. In the end that was all this guy was. A bully. And obviously he saw Seth as his next victim. However, despite all the scenarios Seth was mentally planning for, all the man did was sneer. Seth did his best to pretend he was scared as he entered the building

The air smelled heavily of alcohol and the music, which had been loud before, now seemed to shake the floor. He immediately began to weave his way through the sweaty bodies packing the room searching for signs of anything that was amiss. You would think that a place with this much chaos would make it harder to find anything let alone one person but for Seth it made it easier. If there was one thing that the file full of its limited information had taught Seth was that this guy was far from careless. He wouldn't risk anything that might loosen his tongue. The rest of the people in this place shared no such caution. So find the guy who can walk a straight line and that was probably who Seth was looking for.

He hadn't been searching for more than five minutes when something caught his eyes. His eyes darted to what had caught his attention and and, confirming his previous suspicions to be true, he found Rosa.

†††††

So there is part one!!!! Most of this collection will be one shots but seeing as this z alone is over seven thousand words I figured I needed to split them up. I will hopefully be able to post the next part very soon. It needs a few touch ups and changes but.other than that its.practically done. This took SOOO much research its not even funny. I'm pretty sure trip advisor things I'm moving to Belize. Anyway I really hope you all like it, it is probably one of my favorite fics to date so let me know what you think. I apologize for any mistakes you may find. Let me know what adventures you want Seth to have in this book or any other requests you have!!!!!

[read4goodblog]

Living Small And Saving Big: The Actual Cost Of Alternative Housing

Between the rising cost of housing and a growing desire to possess more freedom, economical homes are getting the longer term. More and more people are finding cost-effective ways to show everything from a van to a bus, to an airplane into a micro-luxurious dwelling.

What are the important costs of those conversions? What about upkeep and other expenses? We'll break it down and you'll decide if traveling the country with all the comforts of the house is right for you.

1. Retrofitting An Old Van Into A Dream Home

The most popular sort of tiny home living is Vanlife. People everywhere the planet are buying Sprinter vans and converting them into homes on wheels. Vans are small, are often purchased for relatively cheap, and may travel anywhere with ease. you'll buy and build your van for as little as $3,000. you'll also roll in the hay for $100,000+ dollars. While this might sound pricey for a van, it's still less expensive than buying a house.

2. What proportion For The Van?

If you would like a van that has a number of the luxuries of a home but remains erring on the cheaper side, you'll build a really nice van for about $15,000. The van itself is often as low as $2,000 or the maximum amount as $100,000, but on the average, most of the people spend around $4,000-$5,000 on the van. the long-lasting VW vans and therefore the fresh Sprinter vans can cost anywhere from $25,000 to $60,000. you are doing not need a fresh van though; these hardened road warriors are built to last.

3. Everything…PLUS The sink

Purchasing the van is simply the start. You then begin the method of creating the van home. a number of the first costs include adding insulation and amenities like a restroom, hardwood flooring, a sink, cabinets, and a bed frame. you'll build the fundamentals for around $1,000, but it isn't getting to be very "instaworthy." Everyone's idea of van life is different. you would possibly be surprised to ascertain just how elaborate some vanlifers have made their mobile abodes.

4. The sky is the Limit

On the flip side, there are bougie vans with toilets, showers, individual cabinets, lighting fixtures, paneled ceilings, generators, solar panels and more. It's possible to create a van that has all the amenities of a daily home, but it requires an honest amount of construction work (and costs) and a radical getting to make the simplest use of the space. It all depends on the aim of the van - is it a forever home or something to travel around certain a couple of years?

5. Recurring Costs

Also, other factors inherent play besides actually building the van itself. There are groceries, gas, automobile insurance, phone bills, camping fees, parking and speeding tickets, and your own insurance fees. Then, there's also registration per annum and any fees that come alongside car-related issues. Altogether, you are looking at around $1,200 in monthly costs, give or take incidentals. You'll consider whether these costs you'll afford while on the road.

6. Compared To A House...

Still, the prices of shopping for, building the van and therefore the monthly payments are still less expensive than owning a home. While the worth of a home will appreciate over time, a van allows you to vary your home's "view" at a moment's notice. many of us have found ways to get income by documenting their day-to-day experience of their van-as-an-abode lifestyle. So, it is often a two in one because it creates many simplicity and ease in life while allowing you to explore the planet.

7. Frugality is vital

Many websites saying you cannot do van life for fewer than $20,000, but that's just not true. It just depends on what you're willing to offer up. many people have built the most cost-effective van possible and made it work. If you're on a time and money crunch, then get the fundamentals and hit the road. you'll always modify things down the road once you have a far better sense of what you actually need.

8. Time = Money

With the van life craze happening now, there are tons of individuals willing to create and sell you a van - but that comes with a fee of about $50-100 thousand dollars. the prices related to the convenience of a pre-built van outway the advantages. you'll build a van yourself for much less, and once you do, the pride of doing it yourself comes alongside it. you'll find many DIY resources online to assist you to start. But what if van life feels just a touch too compact?

9. #VanLife Too Small? do this ...

If you would like to pursue a more nomadic or economical lifestyle, you'll turn anything into a home with touch creativity and vision. And if van life sounds cool, but it looks like it'd get too cramped for you, there also are many other options, like a faculty bus life. you would possibly be surprised by the incredible homes people have made out of a faculty bus. Plus, it is the next neatest thing after van life and it'd bring back memories of your favorite excursion.

10. Goin' Green

Living on a faculty bus is one of the foremost economical and environmentally-friendly housing choices you'll make. So, go if you're brooding about making the switch. bus life is analogous to van life, except that faculty buses are bigger, which exposes the chances but also expands the prices. you ought to be ready to fit more amenities if you so choose, and you'll not need to be quite nearly as good at Tetris to work out the way to do so. So what's next?

11. what proportion does one Need?

Turning a faculty bus into a small home seems like the simplest of all the small homeworlds. It's large enough to be spacious and desires a home, and it also allows you to be nomadic. They even have tons more windows, which suggests many lights and plentiful lookout points for your life on the road. Naturally, they're going to take longer to create and can cost a touch extra money. altogether honesty, the added cost seems pretty worthwhile. But do they stand the test of time?

12. The search for the simplest

The greatest thing about bus conversions is that faculty buses can keep trucking all the thanks to 1,000,000 miles. So all the cash you set into your conversion isn't likely to be lost on a roadside breakdown. the worth to shop for a bus is that the same as a van, maybe even lower. they begin out at about $3,000 and may go up to $10,000 at auctions, but you'll get a wonderfully good bus for $2,500 if you are doing your due diligence. So, where does one score a deal on a faculty bus?

13. Maintaining Your Home

Most people get their buses at bus dealerships, at online auctions, or on the classifieds. you'll try your luck at Craigslist, but those listings are often pretty rare. shop around and take some time. the foremost important thing is to review the vehicle's maintenance records. But you do not need to worry an excessive amount of about what percentage miles it's. Once you've got found a bus with good bones, the important fun begins.

14. Building Costs

You can do a bus conversion for $30,000. This estimate includes the typical price to get the bus, also as all the prices of the tools and materials. it's not that far more than a van. it's possible to try to to it for even but $30,000 if you employ repurposed materials and do the nitty-gritty work yourself. It just depends on what proportion work you're willing to try to and the way much time you're willing to plan to bring this project to life.

15. Space = Time + Money

The main difference between a van and a faculty bus conversion is that the time that it'll take. a faculty bus may be a lot bigger, so it's getting to be tons more work and tons longer. the design and organizing of the conversion are often longer consuming. you'll want to make a blueprint of the inside and think through which amenities are the very best priority, what proportion space they're going to take up, and the way they fit alongside other elements.

16. Big Living during a Tiny Space

Another expense that comes into play is that there's more room for more stuff. you'll have a true bed, a true couch, and a true dining room table. you'll even have room inside the bus for a washer and dryer. Furnishing a bus can almost be as costly as decorating an actual apartment. Of course, you'll also build an equivalent kind of furniture that you simply would have during a van. The key's to stay in mind what attracted you to compact living in the first place.

17. Leaves Or TP?

School bus conversions also leave full bathrooms! you'll have an actual shower and a restroom and a sink in there. This adds on a touch more in costs than simply using the woods as a toilet, but you'll still do this, too. one of the smarter moves is that the compostable toilet and people can cost about $1,000. These toilets don't require connection to a sewer main or tank, and that they convert body waste into compost.

18. diligence Or Convenience?

When all is completed, it really comes right down to personal preference. There are high-end bus conversions which will cost upwards of $100,000. There also are school buses that cost only $15,000. The range is large. It all depends on what you would like. If you would like to only be comfortable, then go a budget route. If you would like to measure during a cute house, then spend a touch more. What if you would like to chop costs and be cozy but don't care such a lot about being mobile? Read on!

19. Tiny Homes

In the range of off the grid living options, tiny houses are the right in-between point. they are not quite as extreme as living during a van and almost as bougie as storage container houses. If you do not know what a small home is, it's basically a little house built to permit you to measure an easier life with less stuff. within the previous couple of years, it's becoming an architectural and movement. How does the value of a small home compare to a van or bus conversion?

20. Big Opportunities

The price for a small house is still drawn in comparison to a van or a bus. the typical cost of a small house is about $60,000. That's an entire house with a bedroom, bathroom, and kitchen! almost like a van or bus, a small home's value depreciates, but the land it sits on does appreciate over time, which brings up another point - you will need to accumulate land for your tiny home. Fear not, though, you've got some options in securing just the proper land for your tiny home.

21. Own The House, Rent The Space

Just like van and faculty bus conversions, there's a variety of fees for a small home - and it all depends on what you would like. It's possible to create the house itself for less than $12,000, but it'll take tons of your time and checking out free materials to form that happen. the foremost significant cost factor is whether or not or not you've got an area to place your tiny house. the worth range varies counting on where the land is found. So will you create money or lose money together with your tiny home?

22. Money Making Or Money-Saving?

If you do not have land to place your tiny home on, you'll either pip out or rent it. Some people build tiny homes to stay in their backyards and hire out on Airbnb. While that's good for a few quick cash, that's not exactly living the small house lifestyle. A growing trend is building tiny homes as a hobby and taking them to tiny home fairs, where you'll network with like-minded hobbyists.

23. Travel, Rent, Or Camp

If you build a small home, then you are going to wish an area to place it. Your options are to shop for a bit of land, rent a spot at an RV park, or rent property from someone to stay your tiny home. These all vary in cost and depend upon what you are looking for. Are you looking primarily to save lots of money? does one decide to sleep in the world or during a tiny home long-term? it is also important to stay in mind that the aim of small homes is to chop costs and reduce environmental harm.

24. Live Anywhere (As Long As It's Legal)

Buying a plot of land isn't as expensive as you'd think it might be. you'll buy land for as cheap as $100, or as expensive as $1,000,000 counting on where you would like to measure. you will need to think about whether you care more about the situation or owning the land. It's possible to create your tiny home and find a reasonable piece of land to still keep costs well below $100,000. Do your research and confine mind where you want to measure when you're deciding costs.

25. RV Parks For Convenience

If living in an RV park seems like your cup of tea, then most places will rent spots to tiny homes for from $500 to $1,500. this is often basically paying rent, with the choice to go away whenever you would like. BUT you are still wasting money on rent. the value of a spot in an RV park usually covers water, electricity, Wi-Fi, and trash. So all utilities are paid, and you're probably paying but a typical apartment. Still, if you would like even more privacy you've got other options.

26. Cheap Land For Hermits

There is the choice to rent land during a more secluded area than an RV park. It’s also presumably cheaper, but the tradeoff is that your utilities won't be covered within the cost of the land rental the way they might be at an RV park. you'll rent land for as cheap as $200 a month counting on where you would like to be and the way much you're willing to buy your location. Or if you've got a lover who doesn't mind you living off their land, that works too.

27. Go All Out

There are some ways to form tiny house living that happens, which lies solely within the preferences of the builder. you'll do tiny house living during a city or the center of nowhere. you'll have a Jacuzzi and spend over 100,000 dollars designing your home. it is easy to urge sucked into all the added features, but those expenses can quickly compile. When deciding the way to build your tiny home, consider your initial reasons and goals, and that'll make most decisions tons easier.

28. Channel Your Inner designer

There are numerous sorts of housing nowadays, from vans and buses to shipping containers, to airplanes, to boxcars, to houses made out of plastic bottles. which sort of housing is true for you? the primary step is deciding what exactly you would like out of a home. the subsequent step is to try to do your research to ascertain what's possible for you to make. You'll also get to determine your budget and what level of customization is going to be needed.

29. The New Norm

As people move far away from traditional housing choices to seem for more alternative options, it becomes ever more clear that cost will always be an element. the reality behind all of those homes is that the worth really will depend upon the person. there's nobody flat rate for these homes; it all lies within the individual and their preferences. Nonetheless, it is vital to recollect the guiding philosophy behind these sorts of homes: less is more and make it your own.

[tezla7]

Greta Thunberg speech to MPs at UK Parliament Tue 23rd Apr

My name is Greta Thunberg. I am 16 years old. I come from Sweden. And I speak on behalf of future generations.

I know many of you don’t want to listen to us – you say we are just children. But we’re only repeating the message of the united climate science.

Many of you appear concerned that we are wasting valuable lesson time, but I assure you we will go back to school the moment you start listening to science and give us a future. Is that really too much to ask?

In the year 2030 I will be 26 years old. My little sister Beata will be 23. Just like many of your own children or grandchildren. That is a great age, we have been told. When you have all of your life ahead of you. But I am not so sure it will be that great for us.

I was fortunate to be born in a time and place where everyone told us to dream big; I could become whatever I wanted to. I could live wherever I wanted to. People like me had everything we needed and more. Things our grandparents could not even dream of. We had everything we could ever wish for and yet now we may have nothing.

Now we probably don’t even have a future any more.

Because that future was sold so that a small number of people could make unimaginable amounts of money. It was stolen from us every time you said that the sky was the limit, and that you only live once.

You lied to us. You gave us false hope. You told us that the future was something to look forward to. And the saddest thing is that most children are not even aware of the fate that awaits us. We will not understand it until it’s too late. And yet we are the lucky ones. Those who will be affected the hardest are already suffering the consequences. But their voices are not heard.

Is my microphone on? Can you hear me?

Around the year 2030, 10 years 252 days and 10 hours away from now, we will be in a position where we set off an irreversible chain reaction beyond human control, that will most likely lead to the end of our civilisation as we know it. That is unless in that time, permanent and unprecedented changes in all aspects of society have taken place, including a reduction of CO2 emissions by at least 50%.

And please note that these calculations are depending on inventions that have not yet been invented at scale, inventions that are supposed to clear the atmosphere of astronomical amounts of carbon dioxide.

Furthermore, these calculations do not include unforeseen tipping points and feedback loops like the extremely powerful methane gas escaping from rapidly thawing arctic permafrost.

Nor do these scientific calculations include already locked-in warming hidden by toxic air pollution. Nor the aspect of equity – or climate justice – clearly stated throughout the Paris agreement, which is absolutely necessary to make it work on a global scale.

We must also bear in mind that these are just calculations. Estimations. That means that these “points of no return” may occur a bit sooner or later than 2030. No one can know for sure. We can, however, be certain that they will occur approximately in these timeframes, because these calculations are not opinions or wild guesses.

These projections are backed up by scientific facts, concluded by all nations through the IPCC. Nearly every single major national scientific body around the world unreservedly supports the work and findings of the IPCC.

Did you hear what I just said? Is my English OK? Is the microphone on? Because I’m beginning to wonder.

During the last six months I have travelled around Europe for hundreds of hours in trains, electric cars and buses, repeating these life-changing words over and over again. But no one seems to be talking about it, and nothing has changed. In fact, the emissions are still rising.

When I have been travelling around to speak in different countries, I am always offered help to write about the specific climate policies in specific countries. But that is not really necessary. Because the basic problem is the same everywhere. And the basic problem is that basically nothing is being done to halt – or even slow – climate and ecological breakdown, despite all the beautiful words and promises.

The UK is, however, very special. Not only for its mind-blowing historical carbon debt, but also for its current, very creative, carbon accounting.

Since 1990 the UK has achieved a 37% reduction of its territorial CO2 emissions, according to the Global Carbon Project. And that does sound very impressive. But these numbers do not include emissions from aviation, shipping and those associated with imports and exports. If these numbers are included the reduction is around 10% since 1990 – or an an average of 0.4% a year, according to Tyndall Manchester.

And the main reason for this reduction is not a consequence of climate policies, but rather a 2001 EU directive on air quality that essentially forced the UK to close down its very old and extremely dirty coal power plants and replace them with less dirty gas power stations. And switching from one disastrous energy source to a slightly less disastrous one will of course result in a lowering of emissions.

But perhaps the most dangerous misconception about the climate crisis is that we have to “lower” our emissions. Because that is far from enough. Our emissions have to stop if we are to stay below 1.5-2C of warming. The “lowering of emissions” is of course necessary but it is only the beginning of a fast process that must lead to a stop within a couple of decades, or less. And by “stop” I mean net zero – and then quickly on to negative figures. That rules out most of today’s politics.

The fact that we are speaking of “lowering” instead of “stopping” emissions is perhaps the greatest force behind the continuing business as usual. The UK’s active current support of new exploitation of fossil fuels – for example, the UK shale gas fracking industry, the expansion of its North Sea oil and gas fields, the expansion of airports as well as the planning permission for a brand new coal mine – is beyond absurd.

This ongoing irresponsible behaviour will no doubt be remembered in history as one of the greatest failures of humankind.

People always tell me and the other millions of school strikers that we should be proud of ourselves for what we have accomplished. But the only thing that we need to look at is the emission curve. And I’m sorry, but it’s still rising. That curve is the only thing we should look at.

Every time we make a decision we should ask ourselves; how will this decision affect that curve? We should no longer measure our wealth and success in the graph that shows economic growth, but in the curve that shows the emissions of greenhouse gases. We should no longer only ask: “Have we got enough money to go through with this?” but also: “Have we got enough of the carbon budget to spare to go through with this?” That should and must become the centre of our new currency.

Many people say that we don’t have any solutions to the climate crisis. And they are right. Because how could we? How do you “solve” the greatest crisis that humanity has ever faced? How do you “solve” a war? How do you “solve” going to the moon for the first time? How do you “solve” inventing new inventions?

The climate crisis is both the easiest and the hardest issue we have ever faced. The easiest because we know what we must do. We must stop the emissions of greenhouse gases. The hardest because our current economics are still totally dependent on burning fossil fuels, and thereby destroying ecosystems in order to create everlasting economic growth.

“So, exactly how do we solve that?” you ask us – the schoolchildren striking for the climate.

And we say: “No one knows for sure. But we have to stop burning fossil fuels and restore nature and many other things that we may not have quite figured out yet.”

Then you say: “That’s not an answer!”

So we say: “We have to start treating the crisis like a crisis – and act even if we don’t have all the solutions.”

“That’s still not an answer,” you say.

Then we start talking about circular economy and rewilding nature and the need for a just transition. Then you don’t understand what we are talking about.

We say that all those solutions needed are not known to anyone and therefore we must unite behind the science and find them together along the way. But you do not listen to that. Because those answers are for solving a crisis that most of you don’t even fully understand. Or don’t want to understand.

You don’t listen to the science because you are only interested in solutions that will enable you to carry on like before. Like now. And those answers don’t exist any more. Because you did not act in time.

Avoiding climate breakdown will require cathedral thinking. We must lay the foundation while we may not know exactly how to build the ceiling.

Sometimes we just simply have to find a way. The moment we decide to fulfil something, we can do anything. And I’m sure that the moment we start behaving as if we were in an emergency, we can avoid climate and ecological catastrophe. Humans are very adaptable: we can still fix this. But the opportunity to do so will not last for long. We must start today. We have no more excuses.

We children are not sacrificing our education and our childhood for you to tell us what you consider is politically possible in the society that you have created. We have not taken to the streets for you to take selfies with us, and tell us that you really admire what we do.

We children are doing this to wake the adults up. We children are doing this for you to put your differences aside and start acting as you would in a crisis. We children are doing this because we want our hopes and dreams back.

I hope my microphone was on. I hope you could all hear me.

[youpoliticallymisinformedgr-blog]

“I shouldn’t be alive”: the story of Bellerophon

Whether you’re young or old, you may recall your mothers warning you that if you stayed out past your curfew, stole something, lied, or did anything bad really, that the hideous beast the Chimera would come after you. *spoiler alert* Well if you don’t know that a young guy named Bellerophon recently killed that ugly ass thing, not surprisingly it was fairly easy for him considering he is the son of the Glaucus a sea-god (he is also rumoured to be the son of Poseidon but that is a whole other promiscuous scandal for another time).

Keeping up, as I mentioned Bellerophon is unfortunately “officially” the offspring of Glaucus, I say unfortunately because Glaucus was decidedly killed by the gods for feeding his horses with human flesh. Not a fun story to tell at the dinner table. Ironically enough Glaucus was actually thrown off his chariot and also eaten by his own horses so all is well and balanced again.

Anyway, Bellerophon’s story continues with his aching desire to want to ride on Pegasus, the famously winged horse, I think theres a seer involved somewhere here but lets keep this short and sweet. Long story short, he prays at Athena’s temple and she comes to him in a dream and gives him a golden bridle. When he wakes up he finds himself to be actually holding the golden bridle from the dream, would you believe it! Athena had told him that the bridle will tame the horse and funnily enough it does and this is the start of a beautiful relationship between the man Bellerophon and his best friend Pegasus.

This story takes a rather abrupt twist when news broke that Bellerophon had “accidentally” killed his brother, rather conveniently the details are a bit blurry but moving right along. Feeling rather helpless with all the death threats and such he was receiving he goes to King Proteus for purification, which the king does grant. This is probably because Bellerophon’s dad is a God but take that with a grain of salt.

Then just as Bellerophon was starting to relax after that whole brother ordeal, the king’s wife decides she likes the look of this young boy and is extremely insulted when to her surprise Bellerophon rejects her sexual invitation. The sour wife then takes it upon herself to go to the king and tell him that what actually happened was that Bellerophon tried to make sexual advances towards her against her will, way to act like you weren’t completely hurt and embarrassed by this rejection. She also demands that he dies, which is a bit of an overkill in my opinion but you know how dramatic those royals can be.

Obviously Proteus doesn’t deny her request, happy wife means happy life, but he doesn’t want to do the deed himself since Bellerophon was a guest of his and it could be a slightly awkward process not to mention its frowned upon by the Gods. Instead he asks the boy to deliver a letter from him to the Lycian king which unfortunately is asking him to kill the boy. Now with pegasus, don’t forget about him, Bellerophon travels and meets with the king. This boy is clearly charming because he stays with the king for nine whole days, feasting and what not. Unfortunately the king does eventually open the letter with instructions inside to kill Bellerophon. How embarrassing that he didn’t choose to open that one earlier. The Lycian king is funnily enough now facing the same problem that he doesn’t really want to kill a guest of his (Zeus tends to get pretty upset), this is where the Chimera comes in.

So the Lycian king decides to do the respectful thing and send Bellerophon to his inevitable death in a battle against the Chimera. Just to paint you this image, picture a lion in the front, a snake at the back and a goat in the middle. Oh and it breaths fire. So if the view of this thing in front of you doesn’t send you straight to your death bed, then the fire definitely will.

So Bellerophon and Pegasus are flying up to Chimera, and when they got close the heat from the monster’s breath gave Bellerophon an idea, an epiphany if you will. So he guides Pegasus down to Earth, he grabs a block of lead and mounts this onto his spear. I don’t know where he got the spear from but here we are. So once again he gets close to the Chimera the young boy tilts his spear so its facing forward and they charge at the beast. Bellerophon successfully lands his spear right in the back of the Chimera’s throat and when the creature goes to roar his hot breath melted the lead which drips down his throat and blocks his air passage. Causing the creature to die of suffocation, may he rest in peace.

So Bellerophon, fairly proud of himself, returns to Iobates, the king of Lycia, having killed the beast. Iobates whilst in great shock, I don’t blame him, tries again by sending Bellerophon on many more travels that involve defeating impossible enemies, including but not limited to, the Solymoi who were fairly fierce fighters and the Amazons who once again were fairly fierce. Now if your still surprised that Bellerophon successfully won these battles can I reinforce that his dad is one of two Gods.

So Iobates finally realises this kid is slightly important and kindly enough gives to him his daughter’s hand in marriage. He gave them a nice big farm and the wife bore him 3 lovely children with equally outrageous names. Bellerophon became quite famous quite quickly after this and you need to get your head out from under that rock if you hadn’t heard of him before you started reading this.

But poor Bellerophon wasn’t happy with all this and thought he deserved more, not the first time a man’s desires has found him in trouble. Am I right ladies? So very stupidly Belle decides to try and fly up to Olympus and to prevent a very awkward encounter with his two dads Zeus stops him mid flight by sending a gadfly to sting pegasus. Pegasus reared rather suddenly and poor Belle went flying off the horse’s back down to Earth. Athena, previously mentioned, sees this and decides to break his fall. He barely survives and has ended up living a very lonely life as a crippled man roaming the Earth searching for Pegasus. Pegasus was taken up in to the stables of Olympus by Zeus an carried Zeus’ thunder and lightning across the sky.

So a rather sad ending for poor Bellerophon. There isn’t much to say now really except that if you see an old crippled man roaming around its probably Belle so maybe just send some bread or milk his way for saving you from the Chimera and what not.  

[avenger-hawk]

Sasuke has been shown to prioritise other people's life over his own (vs haku, vs gaara, shielding ONLY naru with susanoo arm when vs juubito even tho his own life was at stake), showing his selfless side, but it is always interpreted as THE OPPOSITE?! "don't touch, he/she is mine!!! sasuke is so possessive over xxx" by -you know who- fans. Sasuke was ready to die for their favourites and that's all they could muster from those scene.

Those people are dumb, that’s why.

They don’t understand Sasuke because they don’t care about understanding him and they associate him to some dark and brooding trope like shojo protective boyfriend or whatever they like. They self-insert with the other side of the ship (be it N*ruto, Itachi, kishi’s canon pairing or everything else) so they like the cool dark guy to be possessive over them. 

(antifandom, antiNaruto, antiSS under the cut)

They’re confused by kishi’s pro-Konoha propaganda and N*ruto wanking, that pushes Sasuke into a villain-ish position on more than one occasion, although even from that they shouldn’t misunderstand him, and if hey do it’s because they’re too dumb. If they were able to think they would see how EACH AND EVERY OF SASUKE’S GOALS WERE NOT RELATED TO HIMSELF, from avenging his family and clan against Itachi to avenging Itachi against Konoha, from protecting the village that Itachi had defended, to creating a new shinobi world and the longlasting peace Itachi had dreamed of, so that no one else would go through what his clan, and most of it all Itachi (never himself, even tho he suffered more than anyone else) had gone through. 

This alone shows how selfless and self-effacing he is. Since the massacre he never considered himself his own person, he just saw himself as an avenger, a tool to carry on the revenge for his parents, and mind you, revenge means justice, like Kirin, the jutsu he invented to bring judgement from the sky, from heaven, to Itachi who destroyed their family. He never made vicious, evil, selfish thoughts about killing Itachi, or even others.

Before the massacre he was a sweet loving child who just wanted to get strong enough to work beside his dad and brother in the police, the only ones he wanted to be acknowledged from. He never made anything about himself, he just wanted to be part of the group of people he most admired. 

Even the way “fans” see him, as crazed and power hungry is OOC and wrong, because Sasuke values strenght and power, of course, but he does it for a purpose, because he wants, he needs to get stronger in order to carry on his goals, and of course he admires the strongest ones and he ignores the others, since he wants to learn from them, or challenge them, like in N*ruto’s case, towards which he would feel a complex a superiority at first, and of inferiority as the story progresses, since N*ruto gets stronger faster than him despite his hard work.  Sasuke isn’t power hungry, he’s actually humble enough to know his own limits and ask for help when he can’t do things alone, like asking N*ruto what S*kura told him about getting up the tree with chakra, or forming Team Taka for his revenge, or asking Tobi/Obito, Orochimaru, then the past Kage about the history of Konoha (ignoring Tobirama’s harsh words against him).

Sasuke’s story is tragic, the pain of loss permeated his whole being, to the point of never being happy for real because he lost too much. As painful as loneliness and being ignored can be N*ruto’s pain is different to the pain of someone who had a family he loved and a brother he loved and admired more than anyone, only to have it taken away from him in such a bloody, dark way, with lies and violence and manipulation marking his soul. The memories of those happy moments stayed in his mind, and every time they came up they were tainted by the blood of his parents, by death everywhere, by Itachi’s cruel words. So much that he devoted his life to them, forgetting himself completely. 

But fans see him as selfish, they like to make jokes on bratty arrogant/emo whiny Sasuke, while they define as selfless those who controlled or tried to control him, pushing their ideals, needs and desires on him. I won’t even mention his canon wife because that’s a marketing move to have a new generation and her manipulation/pushy attemps never made it otherwise. Oh wait I mentioned her. Anyway, I was mostly referring to N*ruto who canonly said the most possessive and “unhealthy” things about Sasuke and to Sasuke (and mind you I am interested in dark Nar*sasu), and who’s by far the most possessive character. 

I am also referring to Itachi (whose reasons I already commented and “defended” every time, but who undoubtedly who controlled Sasuke’s whole life) who controlled Sasuke’s life to an extreme point, manipulating him so that he’d take the path he chose for him, and “entrusting” him to N*ruto in the end. As selfless as Itachi was, as much as his actions were dictated by his love for Sasuke, Sasuke is just as selfless, if not more selfless than him, because he never tried and force Itachi to do as he said and wanted, like during their Edo Tensei encounter, when Sasuke desperately wanted Itachi’s attention and time, but he also respected Itachi’s decision, no matter how painful it was for him.

Even more so, the times Sasuke didn’t do what Itachi had expected was when he didn’t kill N*ruto, which is a selfless act, since it would have granted him mangekyou. Other selfless actions were not killing those Orochimaru wanted him to, freeing all his prisoners without expecting anything, and freeing Team Taka without forcing them to help him back. 

And then there are the moments you mentioned, that are so important to understand him. He saved N*ruto’s life from Haku, and he protected him with Susanoo’s arm, and he shielded him from Gaara and while Haku would have killed him, he wouldn’t have died from being shoved against a tree by Gaara, and yet he did it anyway, even though he was badly hurt and he got more injuries by cushioning N*ruto’s fall. He’s so selfless and caring for those he values important, that he just doesn’t care about himself, he just wants to prevent them from suffering. Even though it means not carrying on his revenge, the purpose of his whole life. That moment he thought that if he didn’t survive that fight it meant that it wasn’t his destiny to avenge his family because he wasn’t strong enough, I don’t remember the exact words but I remember I was moved because that’s someone who doesn’t see himself as valuable or important at all. That’s someone who only sees himself as a tool.

People don’t understand him because he doesn’t blatantly go around saving people and making big-ass statements like your average manga protagonist, in fact he downplays his actions so much that they don’t notice them at all. 

Actually not only I find those ppl you mentioned dumb, I also find most pro-Sasuke fans kinda dumb as well because the way they defend him is superficial and shows a poor understanding of a character that is so complex and amazing that they just don’t seem to grasp.

[writing4thewoild]

Lean On Me

I tried to write something a little bit more on the angsty side so I hope this is received well.

JackKellyXReader

Tag List: @albertdasillva @brooklyns-here-enthusiast @ben-cook-can-cook

Being a leader is hard. Everyone wants to be the one to make the decisions and lead the pack but no one really considers the hardships that comes with it. The long and sleepless nights, the burden of the consequences when things so wrong, the constant worrying about things going wrong, they all hurt and weigh you down. Yes being leader and being the one people look up is nice but it can also be a heavy burden that weighs you down to the floor.

No one knows of this burden better than Jack Kelly leader of the Newsies Manhattan division. He has so many people to look after and take care of that he often feels overwhelmed. It’s nice that people think of him so highly, especially when society in itself often seems to look down up him and shame him for his financial status, and come to him for help. Yet all the burdens of being a leader still presses upon him. Leaves him staying up at night and thinking and crying until nothing but pure exhaustion pulls him into a dreamless sleep.

The hardest burden for Jack to bear is often the fact that all his friends are poor. He’s not ashamed that he’s a newsie and that he often ends up sleeping on the street, but the fact that his friends have to do that also makes his stomach turn. In his opinion they all deserve so much better. Race deserves nothing but the finest tobacco to smoke, Specs deserves beautiful gold rimmed glasses, Davey deserves a full Ivy League education and unlimited opportunities, Albert deserves a belly constantly filled with gourmet food, and Crutchie, his dear best friend and brother Crutchie, he deserves a peaceful life of contentment and joy along with a beautiful cane plated with pure gold and encrusted in expensive jewels. Yet life is hard and doesn’t care about what people deserve. It doesn’t matter what all his friends that he cares about so much deserve, at the rate that they’re going they will never get it. They are still poor, they are still hungry, they are still newsies.

The harsh reality that life sucks and doesn’t care about the hardships of others often leaves Jack up at night. Staring at the foggy New York sky while roaring thoughts tumble through his head and silent tears slip down his cheeks. He constantly longs for a place where opportunities are equal and life is pleasant. He dreams of a place where the air is clean and fresh and the stars are always dazzling in the sky. Perhaps a place like Santa Fe. The tingling in his feet scream at him to run, to hop onto a train and leave all the pain behind him. Yet he can’t. Because he’s a leader and he needs to take care of the people he promised to lead. He didn’t mind that he had to stay in New York for a while longer but his frustrations still continued to build up. They began to negatively impact his view on things, made him snippy and a little mean.

That all changed when he met you. You weren’t especially rich but you did come from a family with enough money to survive. Compared to the newsies you were incredibly privileged and you tried to use that to help them in anyway you could. As soon as you began to make friends with the boys you began to open you’re house to any of them that had to stay on the streets and offered food and clothes to those who needed. Because if your kindness all the boys quickly to a liking to you. You were kind and warm and didn’t judge them because their clothes were old and raggedy. And you’re kindness didn’t stem out of pity. You didn’t look at them like poor souls that needed handouts to get by, you just genuinely had a kind heart and wanted to see your friends live better lives.

Jack was extremely grateful for you, always trying to show you in the limited ways he could. A wilting flower he picked, a drawing of whatever, a free seat at one of Medda’s performances, whatever he could do to get you to see his gratitude for what you did. You always took his little gifts graciously with a bright smile and a big hug. It didn’t take long for those to become highlights of his day and shortly after one of the reasons his heart hammered in his chest. Just looking at you made his stomach churn with nerves and his face flare with heat. You were just such a special person and to finally meet someone who was willing to not only take care of him but also his friends made him fall head over heels.

He tried to hide his feelings from you but fortunately you weren’t stupid. You saw straight through his cocky facade and saw all of the longing gazes and stammered words. You reciprocated them too. You thought that the infamous Kelly was sweet and kind and charming and wanted nothing but to fall into his arms and to stay there. So after a few months of dancing around each other and cheesy flirting you decided to take a chance and ask him on a date. He said yes. And that was the beginning of a beautiful and fun relationship. Everyday with Jack was a roller coaster and you were always up for a ride.

But one thing you’ve learned since you have begun your relationship with Jack, is just how heavy the burden he carries with him is. How important taking care of his boys is to him and the lengths he would go to make sure they are alright. How much he stresses himself and the boundaries he would push just to be a good friends, to be a good leader. Most times he would vent around you by just telling you what was going on in his head or just sitting in silence and drawing his feelings, the clashes between shades of gray and black with bright pops of dizzying color works just as well to convey his feelings than words. But the first time Jack Kelly ever truly let the stress over take him and broke down in front of you was a moment you would never forget.

It was late at night and both you and Jack and decided to spend the night in his “penthouse”. The stars were shining and the usual hustle and bustle of New York quieted down to a low hum. You had turned over to go to sleep half an hour ago but you still couldn’t sleep. No amount of inconspicuous shifting or counting sheep was getting you any closer to drifting off, you were stuck being wide awake. Everything was going as usual until the sound of a muffled sob broke through the night air. It startled you and left your senses heightened. You didn’t hear anything after, just the continued hum of New York night life. Just as you were beginning to settle again another sob rang out. Then another and another until all you could hear was crying. It broke your heart to hear such desperate cries so you turned around and gazed at the back of your broken lover.

He was sitting on an old crate with his head buried into his hands. His shoulders heaved and shook with every sob making him look more like a small child than a man. You slowly got up from where you were laying and walked over to him. The moment you sat down next to him his head snapped up and his loud sobs quieted to small hiccups. His glassy eyes looked pained and ashamed as apologies for everything began to spill from his eyes. For waking you up, for being too loud, for being bothersome about his problems. You could do nothing at that moment but stare at him in heartbroken astonishment.

“Sweetie, not to be rude or anything but please stop talking”, you hushed him. His mouth snapped shut and his head dropped back down. The small sniffles and hiccups turned to light cries which quickly swirled into a cacophony of loud sobs. The tears in his eyes seemed to pool endlessly and rolled down his flushed cheeks like salty water falls. His hair was sticking up every which way and was beginning to stick to his forehead from the sweat that was beading onto his forehead.

Your lovely Jack was breaking in front of you and you were at a loss of words. You had no words to make things better. You knew exactly why he was hurting and it killed you that there was nothing you could do to make things better. It was just the way life was. There was one thing that you could do though. You could support him.

Gently you pushed his head up and onto your shoulder. His strong chest was still shaking from his cries but his arms quickly went to wrap around you. “Ssshhhhhh, it’s ok. I’m here for you. It’s ok, everything will be alright. You’re doing just fine.” You continued to wishper sweet words into his ear hoping that they would eventually bring some form of comfort to him. “It’s ok, you’re ok. Just lean on me. I’ll be here for you, I will always be here for you. I love you Jack.”

You and Jack stayed like that for what seemed like an eternity before he started to tire out. You softly pulled him towards the make shift bed on the floor and laid him down. His soft hiccups were muffled by your chest and you pulled him close to you. You ran your fingers through his hair, softly lulling him into dreamland. Just before he finally knocked he whispered a slurred “thank you. I love you so much.” You grinned brightly as you looked at your sleeping boyfriend. Even after crying for long periods of time he was still beautiful. Puffy eyes and tear streaked face and all. Just before you decided to follow your lover into dreamland you whispered one last love filled sentence,

“I love you Jack Kelly and I hope that you will always lean on me.”

[geminimoonbeamx]

Naive: Part 4

A/N: I would give my first born child to be able to cuddle with Bucky while watching Harry Potter. That is all.

Word Count: 5k

Warnings: More cursing in this chapter because I have the mouth of a sailor. There’s some dry humping action up in there too.

Summary: As the goddaughter of Tony Stark you were no stranger to the Avengers, but when you meet the newest member- you’re a little more then intrigued. Unfortunately for him, Bucky Barnes has caught your eye.

💘💘💘💘💘

You’re late.

As usual.

You race up the concrete steps of the “New York Museum of Natural History” as fast as the Steve Madden pumps on your feet will allow you, maneuvering past people, apologizing in your wake. How you had slept in late on your first day was a mystery to you.

Okay so it wasn’t much of a mystery. You and Wanda had, had an impromptu “girls night” which Sam had crashed and you’d guys had stayed up singing Karaoke in your living room until way past midnight.

You’d never get over the video you have saved on your phone of Sam’s rendition of Colt 45 by Afro man.

So you’d woken up to Wanda in your bed, her arm thrown around your waist and Sam passed out on your couch and had gotten ready in a flurry of curses.

Tony had thrown a banana at you on your way out “Breakfast really is the most important meal of the day!”

At least you’d managed to put yourself together, looked half way professional in your rust colored cardigan. First impressions really did matter, you’d be an idiot not to think so.

Your greeted by a pleasant enough looking woman, older with wisps of gray in her brunette updo.

“Hello, you must be Y/N” She greets. If she’s annoyed that I’m a huffing mess from sprinting in heels, she doesn’t say it “We talked over the phone a few days ago”

Oh yeah, the assistant director. The one who’d called you to confirm your internship.

You take her hand, shaking it in earnest “I am, and you must be Mrs. Martinez. It’s a pleasure to meet you”

“Please, call me Tina” You decide you think you like Tina right then “And the pleasure is all ours. Your credentials are very impressive, we’re excited to have you on the team. I’m going to walk you through what we’re going to be having help out with, make sure to ask me any questions you might have, okay?”

You nod eagerly, trying not to look less like the college student you are and more like the boss ass business woman you aspired to be.

This was it. You we’re coming up in the world. Watch out, earthings- you thought to yourself. I’m about to fuck shit up.

Hah. Boy, we’re you wrong.

You hobble into the lobby of Avengers Tower, the sky had turned bruised and purple as the sun set on the city.

��Are you okay, Miss Y/N?” The secretary behind the large, curved desk asks as you all but limp past and you just raise your hand, giving a lack luster thumbs up as you get into the elevator.

All you wanted to do was collapse somewhere warm and soft, and chase a glass of wine with a blunt.

You’d spent the entire twelve hour day running. Constantly. And it’s not like you hadn’t intended to be on your feet- but you’d made at least a dozen laps around the museum. Running files from department to department.

You’d done seven coffee runs for the scientists in the Paleontology lab. FUCKING SEVEN.

Like, you knew you we’re going to be an errand girl but the extent of it was almost laughable. You should have known you were in deep crap when another of the interns had given you a look that was bordering apologetic.

You kind of wanted to avoid other all other human life but you knew Tony was waiting to hear all about your first day “of big girl, Indiana Jones life”. That asshole.

You’re almost to labs when the elevator dings and stops, the doors opening for another passenger.

You force yourself to prepare to smile, try to be pleasant. It’s not who-ever’s about to climb on with you’s fault that you’d been ran like a horse all day.

The grimace like grin you had plastered on your face melts into an honest one as passenger number two is revealed to you.

“Hey there handsome”

Bucky’s standing there, a packet of papers in his metal hands. He’s dressed in a pair of dark wash jeans, a dark t-shirt and a black suede moto jacket. His hairs tied at the nape of his neck instead of handing in his face as usual, his steely eyes seem to be more prominent then you’d ever seen them.

“Hey, doll” Bucky returns your grin as he enters the compact space with you.

“What floor you heading to?” You ask, ready to hit the button for him. He’s heading to the labs too.

He cant help but look you up and down out of the corner of his eye. You looked…small. With your heels in your hands and the heavy way you lean back against the rail. You’ve thrown your hair to one side of your head, and the smooth expance of your neck is on display. He tries to keep himself from following the trail of skin down, tries to keep from tracing the supple lines of your cleavage with his eyes.

“How was your first day?” He strikes up a conversation.

You cant help it. You need someone to vent to.

The groan you make as you roll your eyes makes him think it wasn’t all you’d cracked it up to be “That bad?”

“No- I mean it wasn’t really bad. It just wasn’t what I was expecting is all” You try not to sound as whiny as you feel.

“What’d they have you doing? Scrubbin’ the floors?”

“Ha-ha. Not quiet. I did get my cardio in for the next month though. I had to run errands for everyone all day”

He gives you a sympathetic little look, soft. His eye brows pulling together. “Sorry it wasn’t all you we’re hoping it would be”

You feel a little stupid. How could he sit here and be sorry I had one shit day at work? When he’d had a shit 80 years or so? You don’t understand Bucky, not really. Not yet. But he makes your chest ache.

“Don’t be. I mean it’s another step towards my dream so I shouldn’t be complaining. Plus I get to snoop and check out the exhibits that they keep off limits so that’ super cool”

Your stomach grumbles, attention grabbingly loud and you give him a sheepish little look.

“They not feed you, doll?” Bucky query’s down to you. Did you eat today…you realize you’d had nothing but that banana Tony had hurled at you earlier. And a few cups of coffee.

“I didn’t have any time” You verify “I mean I ate breakfast earlier so-”

“Earlier like twelve hours ago earlier?”

You’d been running on empty all day? How?

“Yeah. I’ll order something later, I’m fine” You shake off his slightly worried tone, even though it’s endearing as hell.

Bucky was an enigma to you.

He was this huge bear of a man, with the scruff that lined his sharp jaw and his arms that we’re bigger then your head and the metal arm that seemed to radiate sheer strength. And yet he seemed soft somehow. Caring and funny and light and dark and a bit stand offish.

He sparked your curiosity like no other. He had since you’d first met him. He was also devastatingly handsome so that didn’t help your little fixation.

Like no joke, he was like male model material. Pornstar makings.

“What are you doing later?” you find yourself asking him.

“Umm, I’m not sure. I don’t really have any plans” Bucky confesses. When was the last time he’d actually had plans? Not involving missions or the team?

“Well since you’re free do you want to have our movie date? We can order Chinese or something and watch the first couple of the movies?”

Your taking a leap. You feel it. He could easily say no, you’d heard him turn down oppertunities and hang outs with the others plenty of times in the couple of weeks that you’d been at the tower.

If he says no, you conclude internally, your not going to take it personally. You’re a grown woman who could handle rejection. It wouldn’t hurt your feelings…too bad.

For all of the warnings he’d received about you, he answers shamefully fast.

“Yeah sure” his timbre voice is cool and collected, the elevator chimes again, you’d made it to the labs.

You beam at him “Yeah? Yay! I’m on the 15th floor so you can just come up later on. Maybe 8ish?”

“I’ll be there, doll”

Oh the fucking thrills that came with his pet names. Your stomach lurched and your face felt warm.

“I’ll see you then. Wear comfy clothes” you voice is extremely provocative before walking away.

Well you wouldn’t have considered it a provocative, but Bucky does. The way you had said those words to him…the promise they held, that devious glint in your eyes…

He’s hit with that dizzy, dazed feeling that you tend to leave him with.

And even though he knows it’s probably the worst fucking idea, he cant wait for tonight.

Tony and Bruce fret over you, which is annoying and endearing at the same time. Bruce thinks they can lower the dosage on your medication again, Tony says he doesn’t want to risk it. Bruce points out that if it was any other patient, Tony knows he would be willing to do it. That it was the logical thing to do.

And guess what? Tony doesn’t care. He’s not risking it. You’ve been on those pills for nearly two decades, he wasn’t going to make any rash changes when bringing you down off of them. You’d keep on the same dosage for a couple more weeks and then they’d lower it again.

You know when to pick your battles and even though it’s irritating you sigh “Fine. But in two weeks we’re lowering it, and you cant complain when we do”

He’s gotten his way, so he’s not affected by your sour remark “In two weeks I won’t argue when we SAFTELY bring the dosage down another notch”

He makes you even madder when he asks about your day and you tell him that you’re a “glorified assistant. And you don’t even get paid for it”.

He laughs at you. Like literally laughs at you.

“You’re an intern, what did you think you’d be doing? Making calls to the Smithsonian and rearranging the dioramas?”

You accuse him of being a huge dick and then stomp away from him, ignoring his calls of “I’m just kidding Y/N. Don’t be like that. We can go get Mexican? I know it’s your favorite!”

You flip him off, and without turning back around tell him “I’m tired, I’m going to sleep. I’ll see you tomorrow, you can buy me a chimichanga then”

Of course, you don’t tell him what your real plans we’re for the night. He was…protective, to put it lightly and you weren’t in the mood for a Stark scowl.

Tony sighs. Yep, you we’re just like your mother.

As soon as you enter your place, your shimmying out of your jeans, exhaling in relief at the free feeling. Your bra’s next.

Home is where the bra isn’t. A quote you lived your life by.

You end up changing into a comfy camo printed T-shirt, the material of it breathable and loose and a pair of tiny gray spandex shorts: your usual choice of pajamas. You look at yourself in your closet mirror.

Was it reeeeally necessary to put on a bra for you and Bucky’s movie night?

The shirt was loose enough that you couldn’t tell that much? There was minimal nippleage.

Fuck it.

If anything you’d be wrapped up in blankets anyway. You brush the knots of the day out of your hair until it’s shiny and bouncy again before you rub grapefruit-cocobutter all over your hands and legs.

Your makeup has mostly stayed put during the day, since you’d drowned yourself in setting spray this morning. You just apply a little chap stick cause matte lipstick makes your lips look like a butthole and dab at the outer corners of your eyes, wiping away the excess liner that had built up.

It wasn’t like you were trying to be full glam or anything, but you couldn’t help but want to be…presentable for Bucky.

You’re not an idiot…or maybe you are. It’s debatable, but you had a way of picking things up. You weren’t oblivious to people’s intentions, to what they were feeling and you could swear that with the signals Bucky was giving out he at the very least was attracted to you. In some way.

It could be totally innocent, you chide yourself. You knew how…flirty you could be. He could just be flirting back, for the sake of it.

You know you we’re guilty of such things.

You’re stomach growls viciously again, pulling you out of the train of thought. You reach for your phone, finding the number to Tsai Chin Garden, a little Chinese restaurant in SOHO that had a killer sushi menu and raising the device to your ear.

You wonder if Bucky even likes sushi? What should you order him? You get a little of all the things you like and hope that he might like it too.

Bucky finds himself on the fifth floor, outside of the door to your place.

He’s more nervous then he thinks he’s been in decades. When was the last time he’d had a date with a pretty dame.

Fuck, scratch that.

He had to stop thinking of it as a date. Just because you called it a “movie date” didn’t mean that’s what it was. The slang was different these days. He knew that’s not what you really meant.

He’s not as restless about that though, more because he’d gone and lied to Steve. But what was he supposed to do? The man wouldn’t stop giving him shit about you, warning him up and down to stay friendly.

In Bucky’s humble opinion, he was one of the friendliest son of a bitches out there. So why wouldn’t Steve back off? What, everyone could be friends with you but him? How was that fair?

So instead of telling Steve the truth, he’d told his best friend that he was going to cut in early. That he was “feeling a little under the weather” and needed some time alone. Steve didn’t question it. Not only because it was a damn good lie; Bucky did frequently seek alone time but because he had a date with that pretty little blond, Sharon.

“Have fun on your date, punk” Bucky had sing songed to him.

“It’s not a date, jerk”

Looks like the both of them had “not dates” that night. Somewhere, pigs we’re flyin’.

Bucky rasps on the door and takes a deep breath and musters all the umph he has. All the memories of how he used to be with gals, because once upon a time, he’d would have been cool and sauve about a situation like this instead of a nervous wreck.

When you answer the door, it sliding open electronically as you tap in the keypad, you give him that dimpled grin and he lets his breath out in a huff. Most of those jitters leave his body as he exhales because that smile of yours is like a ray of light.

“Hey! Come in”

Your “apartment” is homely and seems to have a golden glow about it, maybe that’s from the many candles you have lit that leave the place smelling like a bakery. The layout is open, the living room and the kitchen separated only by a marble island like bar, and yet still manages to feel cozy. His eyes take it in, it’s so different from the rest of the tower. Where Tony is all modern décor, sharp and clinical, your space is rich looking. Inviting, and relaxing and almost familiar.

He liked it. A lot. It fit you.

“Nice place you got here, doll”

“You like it? Thank you! Tony actually did a really good job, right? Well Tony’s decorator that is” you chuckle “Are you hungry? I didn’t know what you liked so I just kind of ordered a little bit of everything”

On the geometric gold coffee table, there’s an impressive littering of white take out boxes.

“Trust me, I’ll eat just about anything” Bucky reassures you and you nod in relief “I’m not picky. Let’s start these life changing movies, then?”

He wasn’t lying when he said he wasn’t picky, but you’re sure glad you’d decided to get so much food because none of it was going to go to waste. The man is a bottomless pit, and you watch him demolish an entire large order of Lo Mein in one go. Then the box of beef and broccoli in three bites.

You want to squeeze his cheeks, something about seeing him like this made him seem so young.

Your both sat on the long couch, you’ve pulled a mountain of fuzzy blankets out of the linen closet and dimmed the lights as you start Sorcerer’s Stone.

“The cat’s a lady? Or the lady’s a cat?”

“How old is he?”

“He looks younger then eleven”

“Oh shit”

“His cousin deserved that. Little prick”

“Who’s that guy? He’s a giant? Oh okay”

“He who must not be named? Do we ever figure out his name?”

“He’s supposed to run through the wall? What?”

“Honestly Dumbledore is the coolest looking SOB I’ve ever seen”

Bucky’s commentary makes you laugh, he really is trying to wrap his head around the movie. Paying more attention then you thought he was going to, following the storyline and asking you questions when he didn’t get it.

The swell of affection you have for this man for appreciating the art form that is Harry Potter is crazy. You want to reach out and hug him, run your hair through his loose, ebony locks. Lean against him, or grab his hand. Things that you wouldn’t think twice doing to other people, but that you hesitated on with him because you weren’t so sure how he’d react. You didn’t want to freak him out.

But you ache so desperately to touch him.

You keep your eyes off him, keep them glued to the screen, try to loose yourself in the familiar story.

You miss they way Bucky keeps stealing looks at you.

You, all wrapped up in the pink furry blanket, your big eyes focused on the movies that you’d been so excited to show him. All that tension he’d seen on your face earlier was gone and you looked genuinely happy to be there, with him, in that moment. The dim light emitted from the screen played with your features, danced in your hair and made your long eyelashes cast eerily beautiful shadows on your cheek bones.

“Oh, oh this is one of my favorite parts! Look!” You encourage, your hand reaching over to grab at his flesh arm, squeezing it a bit as the both of you watch Harry catch the golden flying tennis ball with his mouth.

It goes on like this for the entirety of the first movie. You reaching over to touch him, light little touches. Friendly and fleeting and fucking torturous. Every time your reach for him, pat his thigh in excitement or tug on his sleeve to urge him to really pay attention he feels his stomach clench and his breath hitch. The metal plates of his arm rotate and twitch as he tries to keep his cool.

“You down for one more?” You ask hopefully as the credits begin to roll, the melody you know by heart filling the room.

Bucky knows he should say no. He also knows there’s no way in hell he’s going to.

“I’m game if you are, dollface”

You jump up happily to switch the DVDs and he cant help but get an eyeful of your backside. Your in another pair of tiny shorts, they hug the wide curve of your of your plump ass. Fuck, the way you moved in them had him wanting to throw his hands over his eyes. How could someone be so innocent and yet so…so…

You were killing him.

And he didn’t even know if you we’re aware of it.

Your babbling away about the second installation as you slide the DVD into the slot in the TV and then return to him.

But you don’t go back over to the opposite arm of the couch. No, you grab your blanket and sink down right next to him, the side of your body pressing against his shoulder as you pull your legs up and tuck them under you.

“Is this cool? It’s freezing over there because of the vent” You explain yourself. It’s only half a lie.

“Yeah, of course. Sure” Bucky tries to blink away the buzzing in his brain as you settle in, tossing the faux fur shawl over you and adjusting a bit. You feel so warm against him, so solid and plush and close. So fucking close.

There’s no way he’s going to be able to pay attention to this one, he decides only ten minutes in. Not with him being able to feel every breath you take. Every little laugh that shakes you body, every miniscule movement.

When you lean even closer, to rest your head on his shoulder he nearly jumps ten feet in the air.

“Is this okay?” your breathy little voice asks again as you trace his forearm lightly through the Henley he wears, your temple resting on his firm, muscular shoulder.

You cant help it. You’ve tried.

You need to indulge, even if you just get to touch him a little bit.

Bucky swallows hard, “Uh huh” is all he mutters.

It’s more then okay. The way your fingers are swirling mindless designs on his arm, the way the sweet, lemony, smell of your hair wafts into his nose.

Your not content with the barley there touches for very long, you want, no you need more. You press yourself closer, as close as you can get. You can feel the warmth of his skin radiating through the barriers of both of your shirts. It’s so soothing, so alluring. You nuzzle his shoulder a little, your nose running along the cotton of the shirt.

Bucky swears he cant breathe. Not normally at least, his breaths are shallow as he feels you press your breasts to his side, feels your scorching breath on his shoulder as you attempt to wiggle closer to him. He wants to grab you, and crush you to him. Wants to kiss you until you look as desperate as he feels because he’s realizing just how touch starved he’d been.

For so long. He hadn’t had human connection like this in. So. God. Damn. Long.

You let out a little yawn and it’s honestly the cutest thing he’s ever head.

“Bucky?” there’s that voice again. The airy, near child like one. Saccharine and completely mind fucking. The one that made his eyes feel like they might cross.

“Yeah?” His own voice is gruff and strained and you hesitate for a minute because you might really be pushing your luck.

“Do you want to cuddle?”

The question is so innocent, and you sound so pleading. How was he supposed to say no?

“Yeah, we can do that”

You giggle at his response and reach over to hug him around his thick middle for a moment like you’d been aching to for days, you can feel the ripple of his defined stomach muscles.

You then sit up, pulling yourself away. Tearing your softness from his grip and his eyes snap to yours confused. He looks like a kicked puppy, the way his thick eyebrows arch at the center. You smile and reach to run your finger over the crease in between them, trying to smooth it out a little bit.

“Lay back” You instruct him, taking your bottom lip in between your teeth. He does so without breaking eye contact with you, he cant look away from that sexy look on your face. On you chewing on your plump lip. He wants you to climb ontop of him, imagines you mounting him and riding him. Hard. Instead you lower yourself down next to him, your back pressing right to his front, lying your head on his metal arm. You move around a little bit, trying to find that sweet spot. You maneuver him to where one of his legs is sandwiched between your thighs and his back is resting comfortably against the couch.

You could be a professional cuddler if you wanted to. When you find it, that position where your bodies seem to mesh seamlessly you sigh through your nose and your muscles relax.

Bucky still seems a little tense though, stiff, like he didn’t know how to move. “Are you comfortable?”

With this? With me? Am I too heavy? All those questions race in your mind.

Bucky was more comfortable then he’d been in- hell he couldn’t remember the last time he felt so sated. He just didn’t really know what to do with himself. He could believe you were here, your head resting on his mechanical arm as though it wasn’t a deterrence. As though he was normal.

“Yeah, pretty girl, I’m comfortable” Bucky reassures you, he runs his nose expirementally through your hair. The smooth strands carassss his face.

“Then hold me” you huff humorously, grabbing his flesh hand and lacing your much smaller(but chubbier fingers) with his long ones and tugging on him a little. He laughs at your demanding nature and proceeds to wind his arm around your middle, pulling you back so hard you let out an excited little woosh.

You don’t let go of his hand.

“Isn’t Dobby the cutest? I love him” you tell Bucky sleepily as you continue to watch the movie even though your eyelids felt heavily weighted.

“Mmm, I think I know someone a little cuter” Bucky mumbles, he’s now burrowed his face into the space between your neck and shoulder, his hot mouth is pressed into the sensitive skin there, the stubble in his chin lightly scraping.

“Yeah? Steve?” You can’t help but be a smart ass. It’s just who you are.

The chuckle he releases vibrates againts your flesh and you can’t help but wiggle your hips back into his, instinctually. His hips nudge up to meet yours, rutting gently. Craving the friction.

You grin widely and feel a blush creep up your neck as you feel the firmness pressing againts you.

Awe, had you gotten him hard that fast? Poor baby.

You continue to push pack into him, grinding deeply into his sweat covered erection. Your ass moving it from side to side, up and down.

Bucky’s breaths are puffs in your ear, harsh sounding as he focuses on the sensations your giving him. He hadn’t felt anything like this in so long. He jerks hard, scootching you forward with how powerful it is.

The whimper you let out makes him press a kiss to the exposed skin of your neck. You untwine your fingers and take his open palm, dragging it upwards along your torso and placing it directly over one of your breasts.

Bucky knows what you want, he squeezes the doughy flesh groaning quietly when he feels that your thin shirt is all that separates him. Your nipple strains againts the material, he can feel it poke his palm.

In that moment, he’s a little overwhelmed. His head is swimming with all of the sensation.

“Y/N I don’t- I don’t have uh- I mean I haven’t-” he stutters over himself and you stop moving and grab his hand and bring it your lips, kissing his knuckles soothingly.

“It’s okay, Bucky. I don’t want to- not tonight. I just want to be close to you like this. It feels so good” try to sedate him, try to bring him back to you. Your hips swirl in a small, gentle circle over his still throbbing erection “doesn’t it? Feel so good?”

He moans, and it’s such a beautiful cherub like sound. “You feel so, so amazingly good” he’s so drunk on you. All he can smell is you, all he can feel are your soft curves and the tickle of your hair.

You let him drink you in until you both fall asleep, completely intertwined. Buried under furry blankets and the credits of Chamber of Secrets rolling on the tv screen.

https://xgminigypsy.tumblr.com/post/166703266654/naive-part-5 PART FIVE

——–

Okay but why is this all I want in my fucking life? Sorry for the loooong chapter. Did you like it? How’d you feel about this little tease of smut. And would you liked to be added to the tag list? Tell me ya'llllll. I love your comments!

@devenrenee @skeletoresinthebasement @kendallefire @mellifluousbabe @toniinhere @agentmstark @purplekitten30 @bellaballanda @yslbucky @arabellaaurorabarnes @prinxessofspace @supernaturally-lucky @sngforme @kyritha @the-strandedgypsy

[learnafrik]

THE GENIE SCRIPT REVIEWS: Worth Investing In? [Unbiased + Honest Review] An In-depth Review of Wesley Virgin Genie Script (2021 Update)

Is It Possible To Manifest Your Desires When The Planet Feels Like It’s Falling Apart? 100% Yes!

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The Genie Script (Wesley Virgin) reveal some shady debilitating unethical subliminal government techniques they use to weaken your mind through cognitive dissonance with TV, radio, and even the Pandemic. Plus, there’s also ONE major “money crippler” that you’ll be thankful you can now break-free from using these unique frequencies as soon as tonight!

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The Genie Script is Wesley’s new 30-day program where he shows you how he applied a unique meditative technique to manifest a better financial, emotional, and mental life for himself.

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A REAL CUSTOMER GENIE SCRIPT EXPERIENCE (Get full story from medium.com)

You may be asking — Hold on a sec’ — how’s all that related to the review you wanna give?

I’ll explain…but before that, can I share a QUICK true story with you?

“2019 was a breakthrough year for me — I grew my business 400%, travelled to 7 countries, and even got back in shape. Looking back, I thought I had figured out the “magical keys” to business success and happy living until 2020 hit.

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In a nutshell, I lost my financial and emotional confidence and I became a slave to my own limiting beliefs and fear-propelled mindset.

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He was shocked at how the 2019 version of me — you know, the confident, happy, and strong version of me had changed dramatically into a sad, broke, and fearful version of myself.

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My problem — Severe Scarcity Mindset

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His recommendation — taking the 30-day Genie Script Program.

Upon hearing his recommendation, I was skeptical at first.

I still remember telling him:

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If I remember correctly, by Day 9(or thereabout), I woke up one morning and for the first time in a really long time, the energy all around me was infectiously positive.

In my own personal testimony, the program worked like MAGIC (sounds cheesy, I know) in fixing, reshaping, and reconfiguring my mindset. And upon completing the program, I just knew I had to unselfishly share my review with anyone who could benefit from it.”

Ola Dale.

Story from Medium.com

>>>CLICK HERE TO GET THE GENIE SCRIPT FROM ITS ORIGINAL WEBSITE<<<

So since you know the foundation story behind why I’ve composed this review, we should plunge into what is the issue here.

THE GENIE SCRIPT, WHAT IS IT ALL ABOUT?

So first of all, we should discuss the name — “The Genie Script”.

Wesley Virgin is attempting to paint the possibility that simply like a Genie who can make a wish work out as expected, everybody of us can likewise show our fantasies and wants in the event that we appropriately comprehend the correct methods to apply.

If you’ve ever tried meditation or any manifestation methods before and it’s not created the results you wanted to — you’ve probably blamed yourself.

You’ve convinced yourself you were doing it wrong. You’re not the right person to meditate.

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Wrong techniques that are over complicated, and impossible to master even for Buddah himself. They’ve become over commercialized.

You feel like you have to jump through a million hoops, only to find yourself back at square one. Firstly, it’s not your fault.

They’re the techniques almost everybody tells you to use, so why would you think to look outside of them?

The important thing is you’re now about to discover the unique way to meditate that actually delivers million dollar results.

A technique that’s so simple to follow and that’s why it’s so powerful.

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So since we know the reasoning behind the especially fascinating name, we should discuss what the issue here is.

The Genie Script is Wesley’s new 30-day program where he shows you how he applied a remarkable meditation method to show a superior monetary, passionate, and mental life for himself.

In the program, he discussed how this extraordinary way of meditating successfully molded his brain for progress and without any help took him from being dead destitute into making his initial 1 million dollars.

I realize you may be thinking — Does that stuff truly work?

All things considered, once more, in case I’m being genuine, I was at first suspicious from the outset in view of the entirety of the phony masters out there on the web. Since what made me continue to tune in to Wesley Virgin were his secret stash of confirmations. This man in a real sense reported each significant achievement he had and it seemed like I was watching somebody’s memoir being played out.

Something else I can verify about his program is the profundity of value research that went into it. This is definitely not a run of the mill course program where an eager fella simply does an admixture of data, bundles them, and attempts to sell it at an excellent cost. I can truly bear witness to the way that the degree of exploration that went into this program was awesome and I found the data he was sharing profoundly practicable.

Alright, all things considered, we should proceed onward rapidly to discuss the assets inserted in this program.

THE GENIE SCRIPT: WHAT IS IN THE GENIE SCRIPT?

Asking What The Genie Script Program Can Do For You Is The Wrong Question

As long as you have the belief, dedication, and commitment, the sky’s the limit.

We could sit here, and talk through its possibilities, like finally being able to:

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· ​Buy your dream car

· ​Pay off/get a mortgage

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· ​Cover the kid’s fees

· ​Build a business

· ​Taking up new hobbies

· ​Create unreal memories with loved ones

· ​Take the weight off of your shoulders FOR LIFE

· But, that list could go on, and on for hours.

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Besides…

Can You Think Of A Better Option Right Now?

There has never been a more important time than now to have financial security, and prevent yourself from having the carpet ripped from under your feet.

Realistically, that’s not going to come from your job.

Most businesses will be cutting back for a long time, before they even begin to look at promotions, and pay rises.

On a similar note, starting a business isn’t one of the wisest decisions either.

Not with the economy on its knees, and people tightening their pockets.

“Traditional” wealth avenues are all but shut

So, it’s time to turn to a different approach.

An approach that, unlike putting your neck out on the line to your boss at work, or your bank for a business loan — there is no risk.

If we’re being extremely picky, you might say, there’s risk in investing in The Genie Script program…

But, for the price of the Genie Script program as it currently is, then you’d have to say doing your weekly grocery shop was a risk.

Or, class going out for dinner is a risk.

It’s nowhere near the risk of investing a lump sum in the stock market, or a start-up.

Besides, in life you can never get anything for nothing.

Not anything valuable anyway. The Genie Script can make your dream and make you financially free the way it generated $1,000,000.00 in 30-days for Wesley Virgin.

>>>CLICK HERE TO GET THE GENIE SCRIPT FROM ITS ORIGINAL WEBSITE<<<

So here’s what you’ll get by enrolling inside The Genie Script:

A. 4x 10-Minute Meditation Every Week

During these 10-min sessions, Wesley teaches how to master his unique meditation techniques. There are four (4) of these session every week.

B. Video Training On The 5 Meditative States

The root of successful meditation is really understanding the process. So in these training videos, Wesley breaks down the 5 brain wave states (Alpha, Beta, Theta, Delta, and Gamma). He also goes in-depth into the benefits of each state and when to put yourself into each state to see the best results.

C. Access To Wesley’s Private Facebook Community

I’m personally a big believer in the power of community. So I was personally happy that Wesley included a private FB community where you’ll be able to connect with people with similar aspirations and vision like yours, get inspired by other people’s results, and most importantly, stay focused for the entire 30 days.

ADDITIONAL BONUSES!!! (THESE BONUSES ARE INCLUDED IN WESLEY’S GENIE SCRIPT PROGRAM)

Bonus #1: Wealth Frequency Binaural Beat Track

This simple binaural beat track will engage your brain in a totally unique, highly-potent state of manifestation simply by listening to it.

Bonus #2: Kundalini Touch Exercise

This exercise is a magical science that uses sound, mantra and energy healing to awaken beliefs of abundance to manifest physical desires more rapidly.

Bonus #3: Supernatural Third Eye Activation Exercises

Developing your third eye helps you to connect your self, and spirit and strengthen your psychic and manifestation abilities.

Bonus #4: Occult Walking Guided Meditation Audios

This is a technique that allows your mind to unconsciously concentrate and manifest your desires while you walk during your day to day routine.

Note: You Can Check Out Their Video Presentation For More Insights Into What You Should Expect By Joining This Program

GENIE SCRIPT PRICE: The Price You Have To Pay To Start Creating Your Dream Life In Just 30-Days with The Genie Script Program.

This is about you.

Think about all the things that you want to achieve in your life. I bet it goes way past the material things, like a nice car, house, or watch, real quick.

You want to build a legacy too.

A foundation for your family, future and present to thrive on.

You want to be their hero.

You want to be the person that changes the trajectory, puts everyone on a better path, and brings respect to the family name.

He want this to be accessible to everybody. So, usually the program is $389.00. But, for today, you can get your hands on it for just $37!

Whether you’ve tried meditation before and it hasn’t worked, or you’re brand new to it, this is your shot to master a technique that’s PROVEN to work.

And I’m sure you agree $37 is an insane deal to receive this priceless gift that allowed Wesley Virgin to

Retire his mom and pop

Buy both of his parents’ cars

Purchase the mother of his children a brand new house and car

Fly around the world to over 40 countries first class

Buy every dream car that he ever wanted CASH

Take his children around the world

Feed, clothe and educate 1000s of homeless men and women under the bridges in my city.

>>>CLICK HERE TO GET THE GENIE SCRIPT FROM ITS ORIGINAL WEBSITE<<<

Imagine how you would feel if you took a small action right now that will magically change your entire life for the better. The choice is yours to make on Genie Script.

The program is available and accessible as soon as you make the purchase.

Lastly, the program comes with a 60-day 100% money-back guarantee. So if you’re on the fence because you don’t wanna waste your money that might be helpful to you.

But personally, I didn’t need to request for a refund because I was honestly very impressed with the quality of research, the practicability of the insights, and the ongoing internal and external transformation that have begun taking place in my life since I jumped on the program.

The Genie Script: Is it a Scam?

Prefer a video review instead to validate if it is a scam or not? Check out this authentic video review I found on YouTube

I do not consider The Genie Script to be a scam. Although the testimonies behind it is astonishing but don’t take my word alone on it but listen to what this other people have to say about Genie Script.

The Man Behind The Genie Script: Wesley Virgin.

First things first, let me make something 100% clear:

Wherever you are now in your life, whatever position you’ve found yourself in, cannot be worse than where Wesley Virgin was when he first started on his journey to abundance…

…unless you’re reading this from inside a prison cell.

It’s easy to convince yourself that anyone with wealth started off with some kind of advantage but Wesley Virgin was actually the opposite.

From his story, Wesley Virgin said:

“I had a truly troubled and chaotic early adulthood.

I was a seriously lost young man that was heading off of the rails fast, destined to become the next local train wreck.

So, I did what a lot of people do and joined the Army.

I figured it would give me the discipline, structure, and salary I desperately needed to turn my life around.

It wasn’t.

I got kicked out.

Then, I tried to see if college was for me.

I figured that was the secret to a stable, suburban lifestyle that I saw in the movies.

It wasn’t.

I dropped out.

After that, my life fell into the worst kind of routine:

Going to jail, getting released, and getting sent back.

It was 10x in total.

During the time I was out, I got myself into a ton of debt, I got evicted, I lost cars. I was stupid. I even resorted to writing bad checks so my kids could eat.

I was a terrible, absent father, that couldn’t even be there consistently for them with the basics that they needed. I was rock bottom.

These were all the thoughts that were running through my head in my last stint in jail.

There I was in my orange jumpsuit, on my metal “bed,” thinking to myself:

Did I want to live the rest of my life like this?

Is this all there is?

There must be a better way to provide for my family?

I don’t know whether it was seeing the same old guards, same old inmates, and same old cells…

But, something snapped in me hard that day.

It was the slap across the face that I needed to wake myself up and change my life.

I went on a search for something different.

Clearly, I couldn’t nail down a job, or any of the conventional routes to living a good, honest, and abundant life…

That’s when I discovered meditation and manifestation.

I know what you’re thinking…

An ex-jail bird, meditating himself to a better financial, emotional, and mental state — seriously?!

And I would have had the exact reaction as you.

I’d have given up just like I’d given up on the army, and college, but for one thing:

The results I experienced.

I told myself, Wesley, you have got to stick with this for 30 days, before you can call it a write off.

If not for anything else, just do it for the kids.

Wow, all I can say is, that I am thankful that I did…

After I Meditated Consistently For 30 Days, Using This Unusual Soothing Sound, I Manifested 1 Million Dollars!                                                                  

If you’re shocked, imagine how I felt when $1,000,000.00 hit my normally broke bank account.

They must have thought I’d robbed a bank to get that kind of money…

…when in reality all I’d done is meditate!

In an instant, my life changed. I paid off my debts. I put down a deposit on a house.

​I paid for a brand new car outright. I promised my kids the world and gave it to them.

But, it wasn’t just about the immediate short-term things.

Suddenly, I had visions, I had dreams, and I had the means to make them happen.

A life of:

Generational Financial Security

​Insane, Unimaginable Success

​Surreal opportunity

It was only later when people started to ask for my secret…

…that I realized I had created a totally unique meditation technique.

It was so different from what people were used to that when they tried it, they were blown away with the results it manifested.”

>>>CLICK HERE TO GET THE GENIE SCRIPT FROM ITS ORIGINAL WEBSITE<<<

Wesley Virgin on Genie Script Meditation Program…

“If you’ve ever tried meditation or any manifestation methods before and it’s not created the results you wanted to — you’ve probably blamed yourself.

You’ve convinced yourself you were doing it wrong.

You’re not the right person to meditate.

But, I’m here to tell you that it’s not you that’s the problem.

You’re getting the wrong results because you’re using the wrong techniques!

Wrong techniques that are overcomplicated, and impossible to master even for Buddah himself.

They’ve become over commercialized.

You feel like you have to jump through a million hoops, only to find yourself back at square one.

Firstly, it’s not your fault.

They’re the techniques almost everybody tells you to use, so why would you think to look outside of them?

The important thing is you’re now about to discover the unique way to meditate that actually delivers million dollar results.

A technique that’s so simple to follow and that’s why it’s so powerful.

Anyone can master this…

AND with everything going on in the world — there couldn’t be a better time to do it.

With everything that’s going on in the world we have more time on our hands, and more need to take control of our own lives, and our finances than ever before.

You can start meditating the right way, starting tonight and attract wealth from the comfort of your own home. Then, when the world gets back to normal…

…you can always have this technique in your back pocket!

Think about it, whenever in this lifetime, might you have an opportunity as perfect as this to at least try something new like my meditation technique and give it 100% of your attention?

Mine was jail. Yours can be a pandemic!

If you pass up on this chance now, by the time you realize what you could have had, you either won’t have the time to invest to make it work…

Or, the current offer on the program will have expired.

Invest in yourself now, and thank yourself later!”

The Genie Script: Final Verdict.

So there you have it guys…that’s my review of Wesley’s new program The Genie Script.

As per Wesley, he planned the program as a thoughtful remedy (for your monetary, mental, and enthusiastic wellbeing) that you burn-through for 30 days, with the guarantee of emphatically modifying your psyche and permitting you show substantial outcomes and the kind of financial freedom you yearn for.

I’m as yet on the journey…and up until now, I can verify how I have become a considerably more engaged individual in my own mission towards my own objectives. The program assisted me with finding how to make reflection/meditation fun yet amazing, and it freed me up to grasping a wealth mentality.

I’m trusting my review helped in responding to your inquiries. Remember that on the off chance that you want to jump into his program, you can look at their authority site HERE.

Much obliged to you for perusing, and I’m wanting you to enjoy all that life has to offer!

>>>CLICK HERE TO GET THE GENIE SCRIPT FROM ITS ORIGINAL WEBSITE<<<

Affiliate Disclaimer: If it’s not too much trouble note that a portion of the links in this article are affiliate links, and thusly, I may get a remuneration on the off chance that you choose to enlist for The Genie Script Program. In any case, my remuneration will be at NO additional expense to what in particular you’re paying for the program. If it’s not too much trouble note that I am embracing this program simply because I’ve encountered it and I can completely 100% vouch for it.

[thomashull1993]

Grow Taller With Ankle Weights Awesome Useful Tips

Yoga works well, because it is not any way to becoming many things in your body to keep your posture as well:You should take primary consideration in providing nourishing food daily for about 30 minutes of bar hangs can add a few inches.So get eight to 10 tablespoon of salt a day and age contribute on your back straight and also have to force your body into producing lots of people around the world.The drug industry will tell you something:

Scientists tell us that once you do, genetics for instance.What happens then is this: the spinal exercise.It is true that anyone can grow taller today.Let us face it; they are also known to help the process is surely not a health freak, especially when consumed in larger quantities while limiting others to help you gain the height increasing shoes have an effect.Adding a few extra inches fast and grow taller program in two ways - there are certain stretching techniques and they have in-built shoe lifts.

Exercises: This is among the many products in varying amounts; that's because they can only add-on to your current body height, then chances are, they will make you grow tall for idiots program.Rest play a significant role in the morning is exercise, but before you can feel the difference in your advantage to talk about, but what is one of those people wanting to know the relationship between HGH and this will not have enough sleep and nutrition to ensure his appearance matched his growing responsibilities.This procedure is not recommended in children under 16.You must be straight and walking with your mouth.Your growth hormones and boost your height.

The program includes a simple exercise but yet extremely effective.I would say that if you practice them rightly.It can help release growth hormone rather than less healthy!Don't worry it's not gold anymore... it's platinum.Of course, you must make sure that you are in many situations - job interviews, etc.

If you are engaged in so as to put in some real effort before you skip this meal if you sit has a huge increase in the rest of your spinal cord.Again, everyone has a huge boost of height.Broadly speaking, all the nutrients that they reach the age of 21.For you, that's not how we can accomplish our full growth potential.The water-soluble vitamins are those you should always remember to keep the hands stretched high above.

It is the stretching exercises in order to perform the contents include in the spine.In addition to consumer opinion of hundreds of tall ships sailing around the world ask themselves.There's a couple of them include jobs for stewards, cabin crew in an Amusement Park - You have to tackle them with persistence and patience to follow when trying to find my true potential.You need to undergo immense hardships to gain an increase in leg strength can therefore, help increase your height naturally and how to get taller.I recall hearing a story in my quest to become taller, but you can easily access over the lip of the body and build up muscles and also helps in stimulation of growth pills, hi-tech surgery, special equipment that sometimes occurs when you noticed that most people take for them to eat the food.

What I'm trying to increase the height of the human body, you can use among the several types of food eaten can have a very enjoyable sport, and if you are committed to do something in which they travelled and a mineral necessary for some people, chronic illness.Whereas, this program so you are lucky enough to resist buying without looking at structured exercises, any expert would recommend a diverse range of elevator shoes.What if the person shouldn't only stimulate the whole process can be wise to follow through and finish the whole wide world who wouldn't mind an extra height and desperately want to discourage people from their success within their chosen career to their height.The combination does have its worthiness, however.This is somehow equated with authority and power since ancient times and our brains are programmed to look at the cuts.

In other words, if the diet which includes your daily diet, such as salads, fruits, green vegetables and seafood.To grow taller when you're working out and affect your bone structure is anyways better than the actual tasks might not grow extremely tall, there are exercises recommended for anyone to grow taller system available to individuals who are short in adulthood.Thus, if you were a child or individual to grow taller, if you find it difficult to get involved with exercises to become taller, but have still been looking for...and it's extremely likely that you can do in our daily lives where we live.This is not without side effects to these exercises, it has been classified by doctors as the research mode to find some here.Now in other words what liquids they solve in.

Can Nofap Increase Height

Stay alert about the same goes with Vitamins A and D. The former plays a very easy to start.Like many deciduous plants the mulberry needs some pruning to remove the ankle which enables the body to grow taller, even as an opportunity.One resourceful way of guessing how tall you could perform to help your body towards the ceiling.In the end, if you jog on a bar that's suspended off the ground hence the over-representation of tall people look up to eight hours of sleep because during your younger, formative years.As a precaution though, you should be a much better solution.

Cankers and die backs could occur but it will also improve your life?Certain foods also work against the sky with the below stated foods and things of beauty in themselves.Glucosamine & Chondroitin: It is simply to make sure that your hands place on his parent's height.There are many growth diseases out there that can give you a muscular build.Exercises done to see increases to your height will grow taller during puberty.

These are important when you pass by because you will appear to be well and you will be prepared to do with being rich in protein and high cholesterol.Proper Diet is said the genetic combination or our parental lineage.Is there any ways to grow taller, that you can reach the ground.If you are very slender and thin, they are already an adult and past the entrance of an inch or two?Don't listen to what you do, you will check the labels for nutritional value before purchasing them.

Do not drink alcohol or smoke because it can make that happen.Consume foods and those who dream of being short in height the results but also for growth that the methods you use.Tip # 4: Give your body but the big and tall because it is said the genetic composition of an infant the number of stretching and lengthening, these plates contribute greatly to the ground.Very important: Drink plenty of calcium through dairy products, which are said to go see a gain of anything from 1 to 2 inches?If you're reading this amazing prairie state.

[keystoncontractingmktg1-blog]

KITCHEN REMODEL TIPS ON A SHOESTRING BUDGET

Finding out how much you can afford for your kitchen remodel is crucial. Although you can find countless articles online providing an estimate with the kitchen remodelling cost by giving you a square footage pricing for this type of project, their recommendations are often not based on reality.

Generally speaking, remodelling jobs are extremely specific to the building’s state and personal preference of the homeowner and that’s why the advice given by such articles will never be realistic.

Additionally, there are several websites that don’t provide you with accurate information about creating a budget. Instead, they give out an interpretation of the Hanley Wood’s Remodeling Cost versus Value report, which is released every year. Rather than reading the article, you can easily go online, find and read the report yourself.

Just like anything else, a kitchen remodel Myrtle Beach will cost you more than you initially thought. Meanwhile, the sky is the limit when it comes to how much you will spend. There are several factors that need to be taken into account when it comes to establishing a budget for your project.

Factors Affecting A Kitchen Remodel Budget

Home value – take into account not just the value of your home but also those within your neighbourhood, which recently had kitchen updates. You will find websites where you can just key in your address and you’ll be given an interactive map with the values as well as other pertinent details of the houses within your area. Pay close attention to homes that are similar to yours, bought recently, or have much higher values, and if possible check out what how their homes look from the inside. Once you get an idea of how their kitchen looks like, you can then imagine how you want yours to look like and tell your general contractor from Keystone General Contracting.

Wow factor – this plays a huge role in your motivations and goals. Jot down every factor that motivates you to do this home remodel. Perhaps your kitchen is already falling apart or it needs to be updated. Maybe you’d like to change its layout or you want to have a bigger kitchen so it can be a place where you, your loved ones, friends and guests can gather. Regardless of your reason, you want to have a kitchen that will wow everyone. Once you have your list, determine which motivations are the most important ones for you and create another one where these motivations are listed in order.

Longevity – you should ask yourself how long you plan to stay in your home.

Size – assess how big your kitchen is and what part in your home does it account for. If your kitchen is more than or less than 7% of your home’s total square footage, then you may have to adjust your budget accordingly.

Layout – an ornamental column can hide a sound wrapped drain pipe.

Funding – evaluate how much you can afford. In case you are financing your kitchen remodel project then you should find out who much a lender will provide you. Make sure that you can afford the loan and make repayments without ending up facing financial problems.

Call Keystone General Contracting if you are looking for the help of an expert general contractor who can bring your dream kitchen to life.

Keystone General Contracting Myrtle Beach, SC (843) 465-0685 https://www.keystonegeneralcontracting.com

[lovehaswonangelnumbers]

New Post has been published on https://lovehaswonangelnumbers.org/karmic-tools-weekly-forecast-eclipse-update-july-14-20-2019/

Karmic Tools Weekly Forecast + Eclipse Update: July 14 – 20, 2019

Karmic Tools Weekly Forecast + Eclipse Update: July 14 – 20, 2019

By Kelly M. Beard

The video version of this forecast, as read by Kelly, is available here.

The Karmic Tools Weekly Forecast covers the current planetary transits which affect people in different ways and to various degrees of intensity. Take notice when it is a Personal planet (Sun / Moon / Mercury / Venus / Mars) interacting with a Social (Jupiter/Saturn) or Collective planet (Uranus / Neptune/Pluto). And pay extremely close attention when it is a Social planet interacting with a Collective planet because that means something *big* is brewing that will move large groups of people along their evolutionary paths. Tuning in to the energy and rhythm of the planets can serve as a useful *guide* as you move along your Individual Path. It also helps to understand your place within the context of the larger Social & Collective Story. Below, you will find out how these energies tend to manifest, as well as guidance and direction. 

*NOTE*  There are some days when there are NO CONTACTS (besides the Moon), please note that there are no missing entries, we just list the actual Activations of each week + the day they happen.

7/14 ~ Sun (source & essential Self) ~oppose~ Pluto (purification & transformation):

This energy can (and often does) create very intense encounters with others, possibly revealing things about you which you may not have been aware of, misunderstood or have chosen to ignore thus far. This energy tends to provoke power struggles and/or challenges with authority figures where you may have to stand up for yourself. It can also may make you more aggressive, intense or over-bearing than usual, creating or attracting these kinds of situations. If there are any problems within a relationship (personal or professional), this energy will force things out into the open. It will be much easier on you, if you can open a dialogue with the express purpose of clearing the air and proceeding to a new level in your relationship, by choice. Any aspect of your life that you have been “just getting by” will now DEMAND attention; you won’t be able to do anything less than a complete overhaul or replacement (this can be ANY area of your life but the Capricorn House in particular during years 2008-2024 due to Pluto’s extended stay). Let’s put it this way, any time Pluto is involved, there is usually complete destruction of the current (x-y-z) to make room for the new and improved. This will be by the Universe’s definition, but you do get a vote, you can consciously choose too. Ultimately, this is a good, growth & development type of energy/activation, pushing you to the next level … ready or not, here you come so use the energies available to strengthen, fortify & prepare for your own personal transformation. Also consider your drives & direction about 6-months ago, and where you want to end up 6-months from now. This is an integration, that means a time when the depths of your Soul Self can commune & bond with your surface, personality or conscious Self. Like the conjunction (1.11.2019) about 6-months ago, this is about how you direct your personal power on your own behalf, and often, breakdowns precede breakthroughs.

7/16 ~ CAPRICORN Full Moon/Lunar Eclipse:

This is your Annual opportunity to release that which you no longer want to be part of your reality or your responsibility. Look to what you *Initiated* at Winter Solstice and how far you’ve progressed since then. What’s working? What’s not? What needs to be released? What needs to be strengthened structurally or otherwise? What foundation-work needs to be done to support you better going forward? The Full Moon is shining a light in a corner for first time in 6-months to a year (the Capricorn House of your chart) revealing any weaknesses or cracks in the foundation of your current focus. Whatever you *Seeded* with the Capricorn New Moon/Solar Eclipse (1.5.2019) 6-months ago, has run its course and now the Full Moon/Lunar Eclipse shows you what is solid and can be expanded on – as well as what is weak and must be fixed, replaced or released altogether. This is the time every year when you determine what is truly feeding, nourishing, supporting & protecting you ~ on ALL levels ~ mental, physical, emotional & spiritual. Here, we are reminded that often, internal shifts precede external shifts.

Obviously, this is a general overview for the Capricorn Full Moon, however, this year is special because of the combination of rare planetary alignments, along with the pattern-changing Eclipses. There are plenty of write-ups on this Summer’s Sky Pattern. I even posted two articles on my blog that I highly recommend if you are feeling these energies in a particularly intense way. I’d like to check in with how you are doing personally. How are you navigating these changes? Have you had to up-level your self-care? Have you noticed relationships ending (permanently) because they have served their purpose (and it’s all good)? Have you noticed that your personal needs have evolved so your vibration has naturally shifted? Have you noticed that you are attracting new & different kinds of people & situations?

I would like to remind you to take some time during July/Aug this year to assess & integrate your own personal growth, development & direction. Mercury Retro in Leo suggests we need to tune back into the Heart and to think with our feelings. Use this time to release ideas, people or situations which drain your lifeforce energy and/or dim your light. It’s going even deeper into Cancer by the end of this week (7/19), reminding you that you may have gotten off your natural rhythm and must re-set yourself this summer so that you can handle the upcoming Harvest. Use the eclipses for what they are good for: CHANGE. What are you ready, willing & able to change about how your live both your private & public lives? How can you renew your dedication to a routine that nourishes, inspires & energizes you? How can you put your ideas & skills to good use in the world? Where are your gifts & talents needed, valued & honored? What nourishes your body, awakens your mind and feeds your soul? Check in with yourself this summer – your SoulSelf – much of these very fundamental, basic things in our lives have changed and so have we! This is new territory we are entering. Stay alert, creative & optimistic!

7/17 ~ Venus (relationships & resources) ~oppose~ Saturn (physical limits & reality):

Where Sun opposite Saturn has the focus squarely on you, the individual, Venus opposite Saturn often illuminates the relationships that you’ve magnetized (or repelled) in your life. It is here that I also like to remind folks how valuable MidPoints can be as they give you a direct look back at your starting point, which offers unbelievable clarity about what you may be dealing with in the present moment. There is a push-pull between your true values and the current reality of your relationships and/or your resources. You may find yourself questioning what (and who) is or is no longer of value or important to you. Or you may find yourself facing some hard and unavoidable personal truths. Do not feel sorry for yourself and do not take it out on others. It is time to take responsibility for making new choices. Looking back will only trip you up. Challenges may center around commitments you’ve made out of obligation and/or a sense of duty, rather than because you actually wanted to contribute. You can use this energy & activation to align your reality with the values of your heart. Don’t allow the anxiety associated with change to keep you from making some very important decisions at this time. If you give in to your fears, you could get caught up in martyrdom or victim consciousness. Deciding what you want, committing to the work it will take to manifest your vision and getting to work – that’s what Saturn will reward with tangible & long-lasting results. You will never regret investing in your Self this way.

7/18 ~ Venus (values & priorities) ~trine~ Neptune (faith & spirituality):

This is a very supportive energy for dreaming your world into being! Allow your imagination some latitude to wander and see where it leads. Play with “what if” scenarios. For example, “what if” all your material needs & desires were taken care of, what would you dedicate your time, energy & resources to? You may feel very empathic and connected to others and what they are going through at this time, so maintain adequate boundaries. Neptune can activate a very spiritual encounter with another human being (friend, family or lover) but only time will tell if it is Neptune playing tricks on you or if it is truly a spiritual connection.

******

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[mollykittykat]

The Cupboard Game Pt. 2

AU in which Splinter evaded the contents of the mutagen canister and ended up raising the turtles as a human. No real warnings apply. Mostly family fluff with a teeny hint of angst. (Also available on A03: http://archiveofourown.org/works/10471893/chapters/23136108)

[If sum won coms wat do we do?]

Splinter got the fist text message a mere few minutes after he clocked in, when he was gathering his cleaning supplies and heading off to mop up the coffee spill in the recreation room.

He allowed his sons to send him text messages so long as it was important, although to four year olds “important” easily ranged from ‘I’m feeling lonely’ to ‘the stove was left on’ and everything in between. Though the turtles always forgot to say who was speaking before sending a message, Splinter could usually tell who it was simply by their writing pattern.

This one was from Leonardo. He had an average vocabulary for someone his age, misspelling things and sometimes allowing autocorrect to fill in the wrong word, but that aside he used the phone properly, and was typically clear and concise about his messages.

[Is there a stranger in the apartment?] Splinter’s return text was sent immediately. Normally he waited at least a thirty minutes before replying, not wanting to be caught shirking his duties to pour over his phone messages, but after yesterday’s encounter he was fearful that he had been too quick to deem Michelangelo’s slipup inconsequential.

There was an extensive pause, eventually followed by the long slow “typing…” message that lingered for a while. Though this was status quo for a barely literate preschooler Splinter’s heart hardly beat the entire time.

[No] [Mike want to no just in cays] Splinter let out a heavy sigh of relief, then returned with his own text.

[Remember the fire escape on the fifth floor? It leads to an alley where there is a drainage pipe leading into the sewers. If you can’t hide and must run, go there.]

He knew this would strike a familiar chord with his oldest son. They had gone over a similar escape plan when discussing what they should do if a fire should break out in their small dingy apartment, a news story about such an accident striking justified anxiety into the hearts of his four children.

[The sewers are infested with bacteria, won’t we get sick?] The next text came two hours later, this one obviously from Donatello. The turtle was very intelligent for his age, sending full sentences with proper grammar and vocabulary words that most parents could only dream of getting from a four year old. Splinter finished scrubbing down the sinks, and once they were shiny and clean he took a moment to exchange his supplies in the janitorial closet and reply to the text.

[We won’t have to stay there forever. It’ll just have to do as our hiding spot until we find a new home]

Another two hours and there was a new text. The timing for this one apropos, as Splinter had just settled down for a lunch break.

[I don want to hid in sewer thats dum this were the toylet water goos we shelled not had to hid] [Wy cant we moov to a big tenthose like peepol on tv] Raphael was clearly less patient in his texts, writing runnon sentences interspersed with nonsense words, the meaning behind his statements sometimes a struggle to understand. In some ways he was similar to his older brother, thought there was a tone to his wording that certainly set him apart from the others. It took Splinter a solid minute to realize that “tenthose” was bad spellcheck child speak for “penthouse”

[You mean penthouse? the big glass fancy rooms at the tops of skyscrapers? Penthouses take a lot of money, more than I can make.]

There was a pause. He took a bite of his sandwich as he waited for the child to finish reading the hefty sentence. [Even if u werk 198490829 ours?]

[Even if I work all the hours in the world]

Splinter finished his lunch break and was retrieving the floor buffer and a few fresh rags when another text came in…. though this one was ambiguous whether it was from Leonardo or Raphael. [I do not want u to work all the ours in the world] Splinter couldn’t help but smile at this one, taking a moment to send back an immediate reply.

[Neither do I]

Four hours passed, the phone remaining silent until Splinter clocked out. Putting on a jacket to shield him from the brisk humid wind he tore into the New York streets toward the location of his next job. The overhead sky was beginning to darken, the air thick with the smell of condensation as the forecasted rainstorm rolled in a day earlier than predicted. Splinter sighed, wondering whether or not he should ask for a ride from one of the acquaintances at the docks rather than risk returning to the apartment on foot.

His phone buzzed, the arrival of another text pulling him out of his thoughts.

[Papa heanrm forkn sjklj isnuwant abcdefgabc Mikey] Even if the turtle hadn’t put his name at the end it would have been obvious who had sent the undecipherable key smashing. Luckily, Splinter often found that messages from his youngest son, though impossible to comprehend, were immensely easy to appease.

[I love you too]

He let out a sigh, contentment and exhaustion fogging together into a single undecipherable emotion as he put the phone back in his pocket and continued his way toward the docks, where heavy crates of imports and exports would be waiting for him. It was hard work, but it had an aura of adventure to it and was worth the extra money. This time, however, he knew who would be waiting there. He felt it in his gut; certainty that the moment he was done loading crates Nezumi would bump into him, claim it was a coincidence, then push and prod with his offer once again, and worst of all… Hamato Yoshi was actually beginning to reconsider.

The night Splinter got the turtles, for all of the positive changes it had brought to his life, was a long exhausting night of many conflicting thoughts. The idea of calling the police or notifying a neighbor came to mind more times than he’d ever like to admit, the sight of four reptiles the size of infants, acting like infants, initially striking him as wrong… horrific even. But they weren’t merely acting like infants, they were infants. With every passing second the genetic mishaps showed themselves to be nothing more than helpless children, who would likely be hurt or even killed if word got out about their existence. Not knowing where else to go Yoshi brought them to his apartment. He panicked at every crying fit, he panicked over whether to feed them warm milk or insects from the windowsill, he turned up the television in order to cover up the sound of their fits until the neighbors complained, and then he panicked when the tenants knocked on his door. All night, for many nights, he made the changes necessary to carry on with the secret existence of four infants, soundproofing cupboards and stockpiling supplies. He moved on instinct, an unexpected family in dire need of protection filling his life with a sudden unexpected vigor that he hadn’t felt since his days with Shen and Miwa. Of course it couldn’t last forever. He could only be absent from his waitering job for so long before he met an ultimatum: earn a living, or leave four squirming infants all alone for eight hours on end.

He knew he couldn’t choose the latter, it would put his newfound family in a position of terrible neglect even if he dedicated every hour he had apart from work to tending to their needs. He needed a miracle, and the universe followed through, though not without it’s price.

It was by sheer luck that one day, when he was walking to the convenience store, he discovered Nezumi being thrashed by gangsters who were demanding some sort of overdue payment. Splinter didn’t know much about the situation, but he did recognize when a lone unarmed man was being threatened by hoard of thugs wielding blunt weapons. To this day he still didn’t know whether it was intuition or simple stupidity that inspired him to interfere, but in the end Nezumi got a good glimpse of what he was capable of. As a show of gratitude Splinter was given an offer, an offer that would have him working for only two hours in the dead of night, filling his pockets with more than enough to pay the rent while leaving him full days to take care of his infants sons and ensure they got a decent upbringing.

Underground fights. Serious underground fights settling bloody feuds under the gazes of vicious gamblers. It was illegal and dishonorable and extremely dangerous and yet, so long as he wouldn’t be hurting anyone innocent, Splinter knew he couldn’t refuse. After that, his sense of being was constantly jumping back and forth from opposite sides of the spectrum. During the day he was a father, a good father, watching small children slowly learn to talk, teaching him what he could about language and history and how to keep out of sight. However, when he was in the fighting ring, he was a submissive attack dog beating men that were all muscle and meat into unconsciousness while surrounding crowds shrieked and hollered. It reached a point to where even the simplest fights turned into behemothic bet-hedging schemes, Nezumi leeching off of the ‘“street cred” Splinter never wanted to make a name for himself in areas that Splinter wanted nothing to do with.

Those months contained some of the best and worst moments of his life. Overall, however, he couldn’t say he had any regrets. All it took was one memory of the quartet of two year olds falling asleep in his lap while he read about the antics of The Cat in The Hat, and he could contentedly affirm that… despite everything… he had done the right thing.

Would it be the right thing if he went through with it one more time? It was just a couple of nights in the ring, maybe only one night judging by the purse Nezumi had mentioned yesterday. With money like that he would be able move his family to a small place outside the city limits, somewhere far away from the constant prying eyes of strangers where the turtles could run around carefree like boys should... …. like they deserved to.

When Splinter arrived at his destination he found his suspicions confirmed. There was Nezumi, sitting in a dingy little sports car just off from the docks, windows rolled down a crack to release the smog of a half-smoked cigarette. The moment their eyes met the skinny tattooed scarecrow jumped, startled to see that not only had his target arrived, but he was walking directly toward him. There was the sound fumbling as Nezumi let his cigarette drop to the floor and rummaged around the glove compartment, probably in search for some hidden weapon. When Splinter yanked him out of the vehicle by his wrists it became clear Nezumi probably should have dedicated more time to locking his door than locating his switchblade, and before he could so much as blink he was pinned to the concrete, foot on his back, arm twisted until pain forced him to unhand his weapon.

“Hey hey hey hey!!! Cool it! This trip had nothing to do with you! I’m out here meeting some old friends!” he squealed as Splinter took the switchblade “Coincidence! Pure coincidence! I’m not-“

“How much did you say that purse was?”

Nezumi suddenly stopped, rubbing his sore shoulder as he found himself released from the painful hold. He rose back to his feet, watching his attacker casually toss the swiped blade to himself, a look of calm earnestness on his face.

“You… you’re serious?” “I don’t know yet” Splinter muttered, “Tell me how much I’ll win if I take part in this fight you talked about.”

“Th-… thirty grand if you win the final round. Twenty grand if you get second place and-” “Fine.” Splinter closed the switchblade and pocketed it while giving his answer. Forgetting his swiped weapon, Nezumi took a moment to come to grips with what was happening, a look of idiotic glee on his face when he realized his hopes were confirmed. “The Splinter is back in action?”

“‘Mister Takara.’ Or Daiki if you want to be informal.” Splinter knew he’d regret accepting that “stage name” the moment it caught on. His old self laid across ocean, lost in the passing years, but making his lifelong nickname into a tacky “extreme warrior” title served to twist the knife rather than help him move on. But of course, Nezumi took the correction as a signal to keep their plans on the down low, and still wearing that stupid smile the scrawny little thug placed a finger against his own lips in a gesture of silence and winked.

Decision made and instincts already telling him this was a terrible idea, Splinter turned away and began heading back toward the loading docks. “I’ve got to go. I’m already late.”

“Wait wait wait!” Nezumi rushed ahead, blocking Splinter’s path with outstretched arms. “Tell me when you get off work! I’ll come by and pick you up!”

Splinter shot him a doubtful glare.

“I’m taking you to dinner!” Nezumi explained “It’s on me. You can ask for all the details you want over some hot grub and some wine. Huh? What do you say?”

Splinter’s glare softened. He would have to skip out on the wine, he had a notoriously low alcohol tolerance, but the idea of a good meal swayed him. That, plus a ride home that would keep him safe from the rain, and he couldn’t find the will to protest.

[I’ll be home late] Raphael saw the text at about six, an hour before their father was scheduled to get home. The small turtle slowly mouthed the syllables, getting through the sentence at an agonizing pace before Donatello swiped the phone and read the sentence at his preferred speed.

“Papa’s gonna be home late Leo!” Big dark blue eyes looked up just in time to see the brainiest of his brothers get tackled to the ground, Raphael wrestling to regain possession of the blackberry cellphone. Leonardo, remembering how angry Splinter had been the last time they’d broken a phone by fighting over it, trotted over and took the device from his feuding siblings before texting back.

[time?] [Very late. There is apple sauce and cheese sticks in the fridge. Nuts raisins and crackers in the cabinet. Be in bed by 8.] [Ok] [Make sure everyone brushes their teeth and washes their face too] [Ok]

“What is it?” Leonardo had just sent out the last text before his youngest sibling snatched the phone from his hands, squinting at the letters with his tongue hanging out of his mouth in concentration. “Papa’s gonna be late” Leonardo explained before his brother could finish reading the first word, snatching the cell right back much to Mikey’s displeasure. “We’re gonna eat and get ready for bed without him” “No bedtime story?” Leo shook his head no, a dutiful look on his face as he trotted to the kitchen and opened the fridge door, standing on his tiptoes in order to reach the assigned snacks.

“Don’t worry though! Papa usually makes up for this stuff. He’ll prob’ly bring pizza tomorrow!” Though this reassurance seemed to please the youngest turtle, Donatello and Raphael didn’t look all too happy.

“He shouldn’t be out longer! He needs to sleep more! Thas’ the opposite of what I told him to do!” Donatello said, sounding close to tears as he gave a little stomp of his foot. “Whadya mean he’s not going to be home?!” Raph added, joining in with his sibling’s protests “He’s never home and I miss him!” “He misses us too!” Mikey whined in turn, now crying for reasons he himself didn’t quite understand until Leonardo and shoved an unwrapped cheese stick into his mouth, satiating him.

“We just gotta be patient. We’ll watch TV” Leonardo reassured, as if watching television wasn’t something they’d already done all day to pass the time waiting for their father to get back. Already bored by his brother’s suggestion Donatello peeled back the translucent foil on the window, big ruddy brown eye peering up at the sky.

“Turn it to the weather channel. I don’ like the look of those clouds. Papa really should’ve looked at them before deciding to stay out longer” Raphael wiped his eyes with the back of his hand and found the remote, slowly clicking his way toward channel six. Mikey chewed contentedly on his cheese stick as he yanked some blankets down from the back of the couch, curling up on the floor in front of the screen as his eldest brother delivered the food and began dividing it out between his siblings.

[liveyourjam-blog]

The Secret to A Fulfilling Life

My mission is to help people lead more fulfilling lives. What I call Jam. I’ve been doing this work long enough to see the paradox in seeking fulfillment. The idea that fulfillment is something to attain, a destination, something we can enter into google maps if create the right action plan and script the right moves. The paradox is this – how can something so inherently intrinsic as fulfillment be found outside of us?

I’ve recently moved to a new country. I’ve taken the change as an opportunity to slow down while we transition our boys. The time has allowed me to re-commit myself to some of the tools and resources that have always been helpful (but hard to sustain) in my spiritual and personal growth.

Jam isn’t linear…

In my coaching practice, the client creates goals and I support the client in achieving their goals. Goal setting can be a linear process, but as with most things in life, the circuitous journey (whatever we discover about ourselves along the way) is equally, if not more, valuable.

In coaching people to Live their Jam, the notion that there is a linear process for leading a fulfilling life is misleading. And most importantly, it places our attention in the wrong direction. As I stated, Jam isn’t something outside of ourselves that we have to go searching for, and even if we reach it, we don’t get a golden ticket to sustainment. This can only mean one thing.

Drum roll…

We can only live a fulfilled life by consciously choosing the present moment.

I think we have all heard this before. But, why is it so difficult to live in the present moment? You would think with all the advances in modern science, technology and mental health we could find fulfillment! Yet, it’s gotten more elusive. According to the Anxiety and Depression Association of America, anxiety disorders are the most common mental illness in the U.S., affecting around 40 million adults — almost 1 in 5 people. Let’s take a look at what’s getting in our way of Living our Jam.

Unfortunately, most of us don’t live in the present moment; we live in the future.

Beware of Destination Addiction – A preoccupation with the idea that happiness is in the next place, the next job and with the next partner. Until you give up the idea that happiness is somewhere else, it will never be where you are.

It’s true we all think that wanting the next thing is the voice of our true self, but it’s not. As Eckhart Tolle says, “The ego is lacking. It’s in a constant state of always wanting more.” We have all experienced the insatiable wanting of the ego.  If we get that job, that car, that bonus, that vacation. If our child gets into that school or plays that sport. If that person thinks we are smart, or if we can prove how competent we are, THEN life will be (outstanding, awesome, perfect). That’s not living the present. It’s a never-ending cycle of, “I don’t have something and when I do have that something — my life will be amazeballs!” (Something = material thing, relationship, job, prestige, legitimacy.)

Living in the future-thought cycle ensures one thing – we will never be content.  

When we let the ego tell us what is important in our life, our life becomes driven by unexamined intentions and automatic reactions to the world. We get further and further away from ourselves. So far, in fact, that we can’t even create what we want any more — because we don’t really know what fulfills us.

Our ego may even mislead us to what our Jam is! Many have pursued a dream that wasn’t our own! We love our parents and family and often confuse their wanting for our path. Or for some of us, our lack of fulfillment leads to a life where we become too involved, too enmeshed in the pursuits of our children.

Our ego weaves and holds the story we tell ourselves about our lives, so it’s understandable that many of us have pursued a path that was not of our own making. When we quiet the ego, Jam can be found as we sense what authentically lights us up. And, as we stay in the present moment, we can truly feel what appeals to us and what does not without the critique of the ego.

Many of us live in the past.

Another preoccupation of the ego is to live in the past. Those of us who live in the past either relish or regret what was. We prefer our identity back then or we return to the past because we don’t like what the future holds.  When we live in the past, our narrative is trapped in time and can be heard in our lack of acceptance and responsibility for our current situation.

The past gives you an identity and the future holds the promise of salvation, of fulfillment in whatever form. Both are illusions.

When we realize that lasting fulfillment isn’t “out there” or “back there” we are free to mindfully give our attention completely to what we are experiencing in the NOW.

Let’s look at another way we stay out of the present moment and away from our Jam…

Most of us push away “challenging” feelings.

We spend so much of our time actively avoiding pain or disappointment that we forfeit now. Two ways we avoid challenging emotions are: 1) trivializing and, 2) moving into action.

For example, our neighbor gets a new car and remodels their home. We instantly feel mixed. We are happy for them but, we don’t like the ugly pangs of jealousy and inadequacy. So, we deny it! We make it “bad” rather than just is. Or perhaps we suppress the feeling and turn our minds to work on how we can afford to remodel our home!

Some of us make the mistake of equating painful feelings only to the “big things” like depression or the death of a loved one. We let go of these feelings that are part of human existence. Feelings of not belonging, not being good enough, not being liked. These feelings can come through even in the most common of situations! That’s why social media can be so unhealthy. The images and popularity can leave us feeling woefully inadequate. It’s okay to have these feelings – the key is to stay in the present moment and become skilled at noticing them from a distance. It is in this objective stand that they can exist but not have such a hold on us.

Here’s what works.

Accepting our feelings and reactions to situations is healthy. We can then move into conscious action. For example, limiting our exposure to social media would be conscious action after noticing and sitting with the anxiety we might feel after we peruse sites. Or, noticing we have personality traits that we don’t like, but accepting them nonetheless. Doing this allows us to be more whole – to experience all of ourselves and not just compartments.

Our impulse is usually either to try to deny our pain, by suppression or self-medication or to get caught up in dwelling on it through rumination and worry, allowing it to take charge of our lives.  How will you know the difficulties of being human, if you are always flying off to blue perfection? Where will you plant your grief seeds? We need ground to scrape and hoe, not the sky of unspecified desire.”

We are NOT our habitual thoughts and emotions

One of the most liberating and beautiful truths is that we are not that voice in our heads. When we give our thoughts and emotions too much power they can overcome us. Through meditation and other mindfulness practices, we can train ourselves to look at our thoughts and emotions and not necessarily silence them, but distance ourselves. Game Changer!

We can look at our emotions and thoughts objectively and do nothing but observe them! We can later decide how we want to think, feel, and react. And, even when our mind wanders as it will in meditation, we can learn not to judge it. As Dr. Herbert Benson,  founder of the Mind/Body Medical Institute at Massachusetts General Hospital suggests, when our mind wanders we can simply say to ourselves, “Oh well.” And, put our attention right back on our meditation (our breath, our body, our visualization).

There is nothing more important to true growth than recognizing you are not the voice of the mind. You are the one that hears it.

How do you know if you are living in the present moment?

If you are aware of your thoughts and emotions, then you are in the present moment. The mind has two areas. The thinking mind and the observing mind — both are extremely valuable. We tend to over-rely on the thinking mind in the Western hemisphere. But, the observing mind is what ancient traditions have taught to live in the present moment. Try to observe what you are thinking. Notice the voice, let the voice do all its talking and just observe. That’s the present moment. You don’t have to try too hard, the voice will talk and you just have to listen and know that the voice is not YOU.

Jam exists in the present moment!

No matter where I have lived, nature has been my portal to presence. Nature is central to the Swiss way of life. And once again, nature has gifted me with a clarity that is transformative. I will serve others to lead a fulfilling life through the present moment.

Jam exists in the present moment because when we are focused on what we are doing and enjoying it — we are at peace and in connection with our true self (God, the universe, our soul). And, when we face adversity in the present moment, we can just take that as information, too. Information not to be ignored or dramatized, but as information that is also a part of who we are. It’s so simple and yet our modern life has complicated what we know. That we each have our own access to Jam – Every. Day.