#dude it’s 9am on a Tuesday you can’t just say that to me

[grapefruits-and-such]

Quick sketch based on an interaction I had in-game

[maljic]

i have been working in the grocery industry practically my entire life. for many companies, and in many many positions. i’ve seen hurricane panic buys, i have seen post hurricane apocalypses, i have closed stores, and i have opened stores. i have been to backroom recoveries, i have worked small stores and big stores. i have seen h1n1, and i have now seen covid19. and even tho this is something unprecedented, all together it’s really not. the difference here is that it’s been going on for three weeks now and there is no end in sight. the duration is what’s so new. 

so i’ve started making notes every day after i got home. just the overall experience, but also customer comments and new things being implemented. it’s a fascination change, and i wanted to write it down to maybe sometime in the future come back to this time and remember anew. 

i plan on keeping notes for the foreseeable future, to keep writing a diary of sorts, to see if this ever levels out or escalates even more, if things change drastically or not at all. and if the fucking toilet paper situation ever goes away. 

things started to change the first week of march. it was super subtle, i didn’t even notice it at first. it was just a steady increase in business. a solid 20% ahead in sales all across the board. and even tho the virus was already in the news it didn’t cotton on right from the start. or it did, maybe, but i wasn’t expecting it to escalate to such heights.

tuesday, 03.10.2020 9am - 5pm

people are making their own hand sanitizer by mixing rubbing alcohol and aloe vera. we’re out of both. lady is asking me by the sun tan section about the state of deliveries of aloe vera gel. we get to talking. i admit that i don’t understand the people’s need for hand sanitizer since the cdc and every doctor ever recommends hand washing first and foremost. Susan comes out and says, ‘well the only thing that really can safe us from all this is...” and i retort with, “washing your hands, right?” but Susan claps back with, “the lord jesus christ.” and i had to excuse myself real quick and leave her ass on the aisle, because why are you fucking here then trying to potion together your own hand sanitizer, Severus, if all you need is god? 

a grown woman that’s working at the register is. coughing. non. stop. co workers comment on it to each other and to me, and i wonder if anyone has taken her aside to explain the current state of world events to her, and maybe asking her to cover her damn mouth. we’re all gonna die.

thursday, 03.12.2020 2pm - 10pm 11pm

parking is an absolute nightmare. i’m 10 mins late cause i can’t find a spot. welcome to hell. i ask my boss what the sales were yesterday and she says we’re 40% ahead of the forecast. which is ridiculous. at this point it’s pretty much a blanket permission for over time. we do not have the capacity to continue to run at this pace. people get worn out, we’re bound to get sick, and the customers are fucking relentless. truck is big. Karen and her brother Chad look at the soap section and wanna know when we get more hand sanitizer in. 

this lady is looking at things in the cold and flu section and we get to talking about shit and she mentions something she’s read on facebook and whoops my filter went poofgone and i tell her that i hope facebook dies along with all this corona virus flu and have a good evening.

at the end of my shift after we’ve finished stocking and cleaning up, i stay longer because there’s still a fuck ton of people in the store but we only have two registers open. i check people out until 11 and then peace out. one dude dropped $650 on groceries.

friday, 03.13.2020 11am - 7pm

“where is the hand sanitizer?” Karen asks. i refrain from shouting at her to get outta my face. the store is absolutely packed. lines of lengths i haven’t ever witnessed. lines and lines of people with full bascarts of stuff. the end is nigh and we are here with a front row view of it. we have a small parking lot, and i have no idea where these people’s cars are? i didnt know we could fit that many people in the store. whats the fire marshall’s max capacity guidelines? someone should review those. meanwhile i’m trying to navigate around everybody and put things on shelves that don’t last very long.

the grocery truck arrives around 3 ish and paper products get thrown out first. usually, when the truck arrives it stays locked until the night crew shows up. we’re set up to always have a trailer at the store, so when the guy shows up he unhitches his trailer, and hitches up under another trailer which was the previous day’s grocery truck, which got emptied off groceries when the night crew stocks, and then got filled with stacks of empty pallets, paper bales, and other reusable thinks like plastic trays the meat comes in, or the eggs come in, or produce plastic trays, things like that. so now that we’re in the apocalypse of paper products, the day crew gets those pallets out on the sales floor asap. at this point we have reduced the quantities of things you’re allowed to take to 3. 3 packs of toilet paper, 3 packs of paper towels... also 3 of lysol wipes and 3 of hand sanitizers even tho we dont have any, calm down, Karen. paper products are gone within an hour. 

my company makes an absolute killing that day.

saturday, 03.14.2020 10ish to whenever. 

my boss said she was coming in (on her off day) so i said yo, mind if i sleep in a bit? i was scheduled 7am and if i don’t have to i don’t want to. she said ok. i rock up at 10:08. things stop showing up on deliveries. the diaper area is sad looking. people have started to buy us out of baby wipes. there’s a problem coming at us in about 2 months. you cant flush baby wipes but since the toilet paper situation is what it is, people will wipe their butts with wet wipes. have fun with that, dallas county utility department (or whoever messes with the water wastes). 

displays are dwindling. we are not getting product, so we are filling the shelves in the aisles with the stuff that’s on displays. it’s a bit wonky looking. there’s half an endcap with shampoo and then the rest of it is filled with hersheys. its upside down world. but we have to keep things full. with whatever. empty shelves are bad bad bad, but empty endcaps are a cardinal sin. 

people waste so much food when they’re shopping. now that the shelves are getting and staying empty, people will just put things everywhere when they decide against buying the items. bags of chips, six packs of beer, gatorade whatever. that’s not really waste. but we also see bags of salad, frozen items, meats. we are currently not in the position to walk the store every half hour and collect these things. these things are all now wasted and will get thrown out. not the chips, i’m talking about the temp controlled things. being cold to the touch is not enough. shit aint safe. 

monday, 03.16.2020 8am - 4 pm 6pm

truck is gigantic. never ever have i seen a truck that big. so everything that my boss was fantasizing about me doing gets thrown out the window when the truck hits the backdoor at 11 am. everybody who is scheduled for truck is given the option to come in early. and stay until it’s all stocked. or until you’re exhausted. i help with the pharmacy stuff because that’s the biggest part. i stay until 6pm. then i’m out. 

people would like to know where the hand sanitizer is, well, sugar, so. do. i. it’s the one item that has been out since the end of february, and people are absolutely gob smacked when you tell them it’s currently unavailable. i try to appease them with some hand soap, but, stupidly, people dont want to hear that. i’m thinking to myself that in about a week soap will also be unavailable, but to each their own. customers believe that we, the workers, know the exact day and time when lysol wipes will be stocked. but when you tell them that soap is getting scarce they look at you like you’re speaking a different language.

company wide, we are not allowed to order anything right now. which is huge. how it usually works is: our system knows at all times how many items we have in the store, as per bar code, and knows how much will fit on the shelves, how much we’re selling every day/hour, and then there’s the forecasting factor. so the system will order stuff based on sold quantities, automatically. all the time. if we need extra stuff for sales and/or displays and whatnot, we order extra. 

the computer system wouldnt know, for instance, that there was a tornado in oct that wiped out our electricity and that of most of our customers, so we changed orders to reflect that. no frozen things, lots more batteries, ice, coolers. 

a lot of things ride on added orders, which are now out

from here on in, everything is up to the system, and to the powers that be. if there’s soap in the warehouse, we will get allocated with every store in the area so that everyone gets equal amounts or close to. hoarding is, apparently, frowned upon at this level too. 

tuesday, 03.17.2020 2pm - 10pm

i have come to hate the soap aisle. used to always be my favorite. so long, soap aisle, we’ve had a good run. tonight i’m stocking the pharmacy area (cold and flu, pain meds, tummy stuff, those sort of things). truck is small. super small. i try helping customers as much as i can, but most of my end of the conversation is no, sorry, we dont have any. backstocks are dwindling. the backroom is emptying out. we rely on truck deliveries for things to do and products to be put out. “do you have any [insert product here] in the back?” is the most asked questions. “there’s nothing in the back.” is the most uttered sentence all day. 

people obviously do to not get what social distance means. every aisle is packed with shoppers. i’m wasting a lot of time trying to stay out of people’s paths, but people lingeeeerrrrr what the fuck. the mayor of dallas shut everything down to flatten the curve yet here all these fuckers are doing their god damn grocery shopping like it’s 3 months ago. get in, get stuff, get out. i try conjuring up some gas to clear the aisle, but the farts won’t come

go home, people. i wish i could.

somehow our store has become the hub in our area. we get trucks in the afternoon with produce and meat, and people from other stores around us show up in trucks and suvs to transport product between stores. i’ve seen so many people that i hadn’t seen in years because they’re coming by getting shit in the afternoon. 

we lost one of our baristas. she’s retired but works with us the maximal allotted hours per week the government allows you before they yank your money. she’s living in senior housing (cause its cheap) and they’ve completely locked down and she is unable to come to work. her boss funnels her groceries. and they face time a lot. she’s doing ok.

wednesday, 03.18.2020 10am - 6pm

parking lot semi full, too full for a wednesday. toilet paper situation is unchanged. but alas there’s no grocery truck scheduled tonight so this is not changing until tomorrow. i’m talking to three separate people desperate for some toilet roll (lol, i love how this pandemic makes me learn new terms, hi, united kingdom, i see you - toilet roll, i love it). anyways, i explain to all three the truck schedule and how to best strategize to get some butt wipes: truck is 6 days a week, wednesday being the no truck day. when the truck arrives, usually what happens is that the paper products get stocked immediately, to make room in the back room and to alleviate the situations. be in the store at around 3ish? 3:30ish, and hang out. i explain that i don’t want to encourage anybody to spend their afternoon in the store for obvi reasons, but when you gotta go you gotta go. alternately, hang out in your car, and when you see a truck pull behind the store around mid day, chances are in about 30 mins you shall have paper. people appreciate the info. 

i’m in the candy aisle trying to stock a case of twizzlers. we’re using shopping carts to stock, it’s way more flexible than lugging around huge stocking carts, especially now with the store being so crowded. this dude rocks up and asks me if i’m panic hoarding with all those boxes in my cart. he looks at me with a straight face and thinks he’s making a point. meanwhile i’m in full uniform and people around are starting to roll their eyes. i drop the box of twizzlers into my cart (its super heavy and dude is creating a scene). my box cutter comes out and i make a show of clicking the blade out while explaining to douche canoodle that i’m working here, excuse me, and cut into the tape of the box. moron. 

there’s a few people that i’ve seen every day this week. and they’re all advanced in their age. i get that the store is your second home cause you’re lonely, but right now is really not the time. go home. 

the question i hate the most is: when are you gonna get more soap in. the honest answer? no fucking clue, Karen. if i could predict the future i wouldn’t be working here. 

thursday, 03.19.2020 10am - 6pm

there was no grocery truck last night so shelves are still as empty as they were when i left last night. still, parking lot is semi full. we’ve seem to have gotten a decent produce truck, bananas everywhere. great. my boss’s plan for me is to: whatever truck is back there, and then easter. which means i walk the back room, collect anything and everything that belongs to our department, and get it on the shelves. there’s nothing back there except a chocolate delivery which arrived on the dairy truck. a huge amount, by normal standards. at least people are still enjoying some candy. 

by 3pm it’s made the rounds that one of the guys for our dept isn’t coming in: allergies. okay then. truck is not too big, i help out with that until it’s time to hit the time clock. 

times are tough, and i’m a good-natured person that can dish out jokes and emphasize with you and cumbaja we’re all in this together and all the other bullshit we’re telling ourselves to make us feel better. but when dudebro comes down the soap aisle and bemoans the state of the shelves (empty) and then goes into a rant about his two parents, immunocompromised, at home, out of soap, almost getting loud and making it seem like its my fault that we don’t have what you want, then no. i’m all out of fucks to give. meanwhile, people of the free world, have you forgotten that hand washing soap does not only come in little pump bottles that you can cutsify your sink with but also LOOK AT ALL THE BARSOAP, back in the days we used that to wash our hands. calm down and take some irish spring to your parents. 

grocery truck arrives. big time. in the good ole days of yester year we would get one trailer daily, most of the time not even full. we’ve been ramping it up to 2 most of the last two weeks. (and by we i mean we as a society, buying everything on the shelves and not being satisfied and always wanting more).  today it was three. one of which with nothing but water. the others with lots of toilet roll and paper towels. and the usual stuff of canned goods and the likes. nothing will last tho, nothing is forever. 

we have this one guy who works here who has, i believe, severe arthritis and is hygiene wise very challenged. he isn’t very mobile and does super light duty but he’s worked here a long time. i haven’t seen him in a few days. i wonder if he is just off, or if he said fuck it and stayed home. 

the grown ass woman at the register is still coughing. and not covering her mouth. asswipe. 

saturday 03.21.2020 7am - 3pm 6pm

“when do you expect more hand sanitizer in?” 

i have no idea what you’re talking about, hand sanitizer was never a thing. lemme ask you this: is it berenstein bears where you come from? 

people still want to shop brand loyal. i die inside a little bit every time someone turns their nose up at an alternative to their regular, “oh but we don’t use that brand.” dude didn’t you just say you needed vitamin c? was that a lie? here’s the damn vitamin c. it’s vitamin c, not, i don’t know, fucking coca cola. go home.

corporate finally came down and said we’re allowed to wear ppe now. like some of us haven’t since three weeks ago. i finally turned and went all ‘two by two hands of blue’ as well, and it’s really not as bothersome as i thought it would be.  

weekends are now slower than weekdays. i have no idea why that is. and i’m not really sure if these past weekends have been slow, or just normal, and the weekdays are just crazy. i have lost all points of reference. it’s still busy. but is it the same busy it’s always been on a saturday and now we just have more checkers? 

the company is desperately trying to hire more people. i don’t know if the new vigorous ad campaign is working yet? it’s a job, sure, especially in these times, but the starting pay is still barely above minimum wage so in any case people will collect unemployment which could still be more than they’d make working here i’m just saying. 

the only real perk right now is that whoever works for a grocery store has first dibs on stuff. and if you believe we don’t have a “family and friends stash” in the back of all the items that are scarce then you don’t know how the world works. a friend of mine with health problems came to shop at our store today because we do have more stuff than what i’ve been hearing is going on in surrounding areas.  and i was able to give her two cans of disinfectant wipes. another friend asked me if we had any loo roll, and they just came by my place to pick it up, cash on arrival. 

we also extend (or well, i do extend) the stash to customers who always have been courteous. and believe me, after working in one location for a few years you know exactly who’s an asshole and who isn’t. we are essential, we are important, and we’ve been known that forever. we just never got treated like that. people are thankful that we’re working, that we’re doing our best (like if we could afford to just take two weeks off to self isolate, yeah right), and it’s good to finally walk the store with your head held high, to finally feel the appreciation. we are the kings of the toilet paper and it’s fucking fantastic. 

the store manager (or the company, i’m not sure) bought lunch today for everybody. and there might be a texas rule of no gatherings of more than 10 people, but y’all should’ve seen the break room today at noon. we they feasted (i took two slices and went out back to enjoy) thanks for lunch, boss. 

we still haven’t implemented “senior hours,” and i hate that. 

hygiene challenged dude is back at work. so he just had his two days off. 

monday 03.23.2020 12pm - 9pm

people keep insisting on shopping “normally” and it’s mind boggling. if you go to the store for 5 things or 50 things, it’s fine either way. but please make a list at home and roll with it. do not linger in aisles, do not pick up 3 different items and stand there to study the, i don’t know what the fuck, ingredients? country of origin? manufacturer? i have no earthly idea why you gotta look at a bottle of suave shampoo so intently and just. stay. there. reading it like its a new product on the market. go home.

people just waste so much freakin time in the store. they run into acquaintances and have to have a conversation right there when other customers have to walk around you. please stop, please please stop that. please. get in, get your stuff, and get out. if we dont have your fave available right now come back next week, it’s bound to be back unless it’s something like hand sanitizer or over the counter meds. please. go home.

the shopping pattern has changed. there’s all the action in the mornings now. tons of people, full parking lots, all in the morning. i understand it’s because people are under the impression everything gets restocked over night. which is half true. but whatever. i mean people shop all throughout the day and it’s still busy but the bulk is in the morning.

speaking of: senior hours finally!!! i’m stoked.

i feel like i’m getting fed up with customer questions so it’s usually short retorts and no eyes contact. one guy asked me where the aloe vera is and he asked very friendly and from a few feet away and i was sort of a dick to him. i felt bad immediately and rephrased my answer. yikes.

on the upside also, my work buddy was throwing water all day long. poor guy. he said something like 9 pallets of 24 packs. at one point they were replenishing a display and people grabbed water from the display instead of the pallet, and he was like, “you guys are killing me, man, please take it from the pallet and not the display. every pack you take from the pallet is a pack less i have to move.” a couple of dudes then took over stocking duty from him and threw the rest of the pallet to fill the display. how fucking nice. good eggs all around.

backroom looks like we got a crap ton of paper products. a crap ton. something like, i’m estimating, 12 pallets. so they’ve been staggering it throughout the afternoon but also kept lots in the back for senior hours tomorrow morning. it really looks like that part is getting almost back to normal. lmao fingers crossed.

no eggs tho, today. all gone.

hot shot trucks still show up in the afternoon with produce and meat. and other stores still come by to transfer stuff to their location.

company lunch today was from torchy’s taco. i abstained cause i had just eaten at home. but gatherings of 10 or more people had been had in the break room again. no idea if it was paid for by our company or if torchy’s was just getting rid of a bulk of their perishables.

some dude threw a fit about the limits on certain items. i think his beef was with water and how he’s seen someone take more than three. calm down, asshole.

tuesday 03.24.2020 10am - 5pm 

it’s slow in the store. dallas county has a shelter in place ordinance right now and it’s just a slow and steady trickle of customers. the weather also has turned from grey and misty, to sunshine and 80ies. i hate it. i want my grey and misty back. and because it’s nice outside there’s a lot of people on walks and bike rides. there’s a trail behind the store and when i step out back i see people all the times. still keeping their social distance but people non the less.

we’ve finally got our hands on one of the people from the agency that has provided us with help. our girl is super nice and friendly and she works hard. i hope we’ll get to keep her in our department for however long theyre working with us. altogether there’s about 15-20 people in the store from the agency. they’re tasked with sacking groceries, cleaning shopping carts, cleaning shelves and helping to stock. it’s wonderful. they get paid $13, which is more than what you make starting out in the store.

it almost felt like it wasn’t a covid day. after what the covidiot in the wh said on monday, i was a bit unsure if non essentials would reopen (especially since the mayor just shut dallas down). it was weird. it seemed like customers stayed away because a) they went back to work or b) it’s too nice to grocery shop. but that’s prob only my stupid brain making things up.

there were two incidents, both of which weren’t covid related but needed security: a dude tried to walk out with two cases of beer (theft is a thing that happens in our store a lot) but somehow he had half the store chasing after him. i was outside taking my break when all the sudden this guy comes towards me with beer in each hand. where i was, there was no exit away from the store unless you wanted to jump the fence. and he sure did. launched himself and the beer over it. they chased him off (no one touched him, i wanna add, and no one would touch him too, even if we weren’t in the current time),  but got their beer back. that was an adrenaline shock i didn’t need. the second one was a lady at the pharmacy not happy with the speed of the pharmacist and she got upset that her meds weren’t ready to be picked up. she made quite a scene with cursings and such so security was called. they are doing their best at the pharmacy but just like every other department they are swamped with prescriptions.  

it was super slow and i left an hour early. went home and ate and passed out for 12 hours.

wednesday 03.25.2020 7am - 3pm

it’s probs the first time i’m on the road this early on a weekday during the self isolation period. it’s quite busy on the highway. but still no real traffic.

store is still slow but steady. i see a few customers with big bascarts and shopping lists going about their business urgent like. on the inside i was applauding their readiness and their commitment for getting it done. thank you dear customers. buy a whole cart and get the heck outta dodge. *chefs kiss*

help girl from the agency is with me today. i like her more and more. she gets it all done. baby wipes are still off and on, some days we have them, sometimes we’re out. we found 3 small cases of hand soap in the back (6 bottles each) and they are gone quickly. i’m working through shippers/displays (we’ve finally got a smattering in) but most of it goes straight to the shelves. i’m able to make some sense to one of the half shampoo/half hersheys end caps, and my eye finally stops twitching from the weirdness.

grocery truck schedule has changed and now we’re getting them also on wednesdays (for the time being). one trailer of toilet roll and paper towels, and one of canned goods and boxes and pantry stuffs. and maybe some lysol but who knows.

it’s still sunny and 80ies out, so more runners and bikers on the trail behind the store. still social distancing tho.

the news said someone from a grocery store of another chain was diagnosed. and then through the grapevine i heard that someone from our chain (not our store) also got diagnosed and is in the hospital. wash your hands. get in, get your stuff, and get out. stay safe out there.

friday 03.27.2020 9am - 5pm

there’s this lady in the store, little old lady, just wandering and shopping and whatnot for, i kid you not, 2 hours. what in the world? she’s wearing a mask, kinda like a “let me put this mask on cause i’m sanding something in the garage” you know that kind of mask. but it’s only covering her mouth? what is she doing. where is your family? do they know where you are and what you’re up to. seriously someone come get their auntie.

there’s stickers all over the floor by the registers “PLEASE WAIT HERE” reminding people to stay the heck away from each other. it’s working sometimes. people are patient.

this one lady asks me if we have this, and shows me her phone with a pic of the item like she is seriously standing 6 feet away stretching her arm as far as it’ll go. i appreciate it. she insists that the app tells her it’s in stock here. i ran out of ways to explain that the app doesnt keep up with inventory, only states that we carry it, not whether we actually have it in stock. it’s a surface disinfectant. we dont have it in stock.

rando people say their thanks that we’re working, that they appreciate it, thank you thank you. i have yet to learn how to respond to that. “youre welcome?” “oh sure!” “no problem” nothing feels right. me and my co workers all wish we could work from home, or take a few weeks off, without losing our jobs and benefits. it’s weird. how do you respond to that?

we’ve managed to stay in stock on toilet tissue all day long. one brand, one size, mind you. but! all day long! yes, toilet paper, on aisle 18!!!!

sales have leveled. business is returning to normal.

saturday 03.28.2020 7am - 3 pm

some lady lost her cool today and in her frustration she dead ass kicked over a display of gum. lmao, yikes.

every morning we have a little meeting in the store for all the department heads, or if they’re off, for whoever plays department head for that day. on saturdays that’s me. we call them huddles, although now we can’t call them that anymore because huddle doesn’t really scream social distancing. so now they’ll call it morning communication.

while walking the store today i found, get this, a bottle of purell. it was hidden behind other product. i immediately checked my surroundings (no one there) and then went and hid it in the back room. my immuno challenged friend had asked me for some for a while.

really nothing else going on. it was quiet in the morning and then a storm blew through, and then it was just gorgeous out. so the store got busier and busier. our truck was scheduled to be quite big, but it was late and i wasn’t gonna just hang around until who knows when.

monday 03.30.2020 2pm - 10pm

the break room is completely empty of chairs and tables. that’s new. just last week everyone crowded in, employees and management alike, whenever there was free lunch. and even tho one tells them, or points out that, hey, this is a bit more than technically should be in a closed space like this? all one gets back is, oh hahaha, yeah you’re probably right, but nothing changed. so now the break room is empty. only, i dont know, everyone here works on their feet, either standing (poor checkers) or standing and walking. for up to eight hours. there’s gonna be some people who will just have to sit down for 30 mins during their breaks. this was a company wide, or district wide decision, this wasn’t something our management came up with. and here’s the thing. admittedly, some higher ups in our company are seriously not the sharpest tacks in the box. and i’m not saying that you have to have a degree to make certain decisions, but it helps if you have some sort of,  i don’t know, compassion, deductive reasoning, two brain cells to rub together. i, personally, will hardly be found in the break room, i don’t use it. but it’s absolutely clear to me that taking away the opportunity to let people rest is a recipe for disaster.

tuesday, 03.31.2020 2pm - 10pm

so, the owner of the dallas mavericks (basket ball) donated hand sanitizers to our company, for use of company employees. which, thanks, Mark, that was super sweet of you. no really. IF I SEE ONE CO WORKER USE THIS INSTEAD OF WASHING THEIR HANDS I WILL NOT BE MADE RESPONSIBLE FOR MY ACTIONS. wash your god damned hands people. hand sanitizer will never be able to do what soap and water can do. why is that such a big problem to understand.

the break room has a couple of chairs and tables in it now, and a sign on the door that reads “6 people limit, 6 feet apart.” yikes.

its the end of the month and people got paid so the store is getting busier. tomorrow is the first and i’m sure we’ll be packed. please take the following to heart: SHOP ALONE. don’t bring your wifey or hubby or roommate or kids. ok bring your kids if you have no one to watch them. do not use the grocery store as your family outing cause its the only spot you think youre allowed to go. it’s not. youre allowed to go for walks, in front of your house, in your neighborhood, heck, walk a circle around the store if you want, but don’t bring everybody into the store. social distancing is easier achieved if there’s less people to stay away from. be smart, think ahead. and if you think that shopping with two people makes it go faster? it’s not. cause you’re gonna argue over the choices made, you’re gonna veto your shopping buddies choice of beans and your gonna walk every aisle twice instead of once. and there will be more people touching more things and i could really do with less of that.

wednesday 04.01.2020 11am - 7pm

there’s a distillery in kansas who has converted their production to make hand sanitizer (or sanitizer in general) and we have received a shipment of, i think, two pallets. the fun part? they are the size and shape of vodka bottles.

they’re selling for $8 and we put a limit of 1 per family. they look super neat. it’s a plastic bottle, too. i don’t use hand sanitizer and i dont need it and there are people who need these i guess but i want one so badly. just as a, you know, reminder, a token, of these crazy times. i’m not gonna get one (but i kinda want one).

they have finally installed screens at the registers. and new rules came down from corporate: social distancing is the highest priority, hygiene is the highest priority. we are only going to operate 3 (out of 6) registers so that we can ensure that there’s enough space for everyone to feel safe. i have also spent 2 hours today thinning out displays that are cluttering up the sales floor so that we can encourage everyone to keep apart.

starting tomorrow, every employee will get their temp taken when they arrive to work. if the temp is too high you will be sent home (but paid for that day) and only be let back in to work if your temp stays normal for 72 hours without the help of meds.

pay has been increased by $2/h.

friday 04.03.2020 9am - 5pm

face masks everywhere.

like 80% of everybody started donning masks, scarves and homemade things to cover their lower face. face masks are a stark reminder that everyone should keep apart. it’s like an extra “hey, remember how we’re all potentially sick with something deadly? stay away.” i appreciate the effect it has.

there are about 5 different announcements over the PA, one about washing your hands and sneezing/coughing into your elbows, one about senior hours (which have changed now to tue, thu and sat morning), one about social distancing (about the length of two shopping carts!), one about “we’re all in this together” and one about us employees and how we’re doing so much more than our job right now.

ive stopped greeting customers. i smile maybe, since it’s something so ingrained into our brain, but i won’t speak unnecessarily.

the store is absolutely packed. the suggestion of staying away until the 3rd or the 4th that ive seen all over the internets seems to have cottoned on and now we’re slammed. with only 3 registers open now (to keep room between registers) the lines are down the aisles. one of the guys on the registers told me he loved it. it’s waaay less crowding around the registers, safer for the workers).

we have two entrances (the main one and a smaller one) and they closed the smaller one because it’s very tight there and doesn’t really work with trying to stay away from each other. it’s not locked, it’s just closed. no idea about the fire marshall code, but i have worked in bigger stores with only one main entrance so maybe it’s not part of any code.

i saw a woman with a vegas golden knights shirt and i miss hockey.

saturday 04.04.2020 7am - 5:30pm

my first day during senior hours, and admittedly we’ve only recently changed that but there are tons of people in the store and not a lot of seniors. but what do i know they all could be immunocompromised.

in our morning huddle communications meeting the store manager is spitting out a lot of numbers and percentiles and such, basically sales are still through the roof, even with the slower week we’ve had. it’s funny how there’s really no reference point anymore. forecasts and budgets have all been altered due to the situation but even those are still behind. the agency people aren’t with us anymore (since sunday) and i can see maybe 2 new people - but i’m not a reliable source for that because i don’t inter-mingle with other departments that much so i dont even know the regulars so i have no clue who is new. but we’re still running on basically the same people we’ve always had with this increased business.

aceotone is the new toilet paper. cant find it on the shelves, the warehouse is out and people are constantly asking for it. this one guy had me in stitches. he was shopping for the fam and had a list from his wife and you know, acetone, cuticle cream all the stuff you need to take care of your nails after you rip off the fake ones. i used to get my nails done so i gave him advice as best i could  and pointed to some products, but no acetone. about five minutes later she finds me on the same aisle again and shows me a can of paint stripper with the word acetone in huge letters on it. i died. i told him that if his wife used that they are about to have a whole other set of problems. we both laughed. he had a great sense of humor. now go home, dude.

the side door that was closed on friday is open again. not surprised.

we are getting absolutely slammed with business. it’s a mad house. you can always tell when people start to park their cars on the fire lanes around the store. there’s just no more parking.

i do see a lot of single shoppers tho, which is so great. and then you got the families just sticking out like sore thumbs. and young college kids usually shop in threes or fours. but everybody is still taking way too much time. there was an article i read on local grocers and how some already reduced the people inside the stores and how every business is going to follow suit so we will see.

we ran out of eggs. and biscuits.  and no significant numbers of paper products all week.

monday 04.06.2020 2pm - 10pm

fuck these customers, man

wednesday 04.08.2020 7am - 3pm

my company will not limit the customer count in the store. at least not in this state. when the whole thing started there was an email about store hours and they listed basically every division of our company and their changed hours - except, you guessed it, ours. i have a feeling they are going off of what other companies are doing around here, so unless theyre limiting people, we won’t. that’s my opinion. after work i realized i forgot butter and swung by a store (from a different company) close to home and they havent limited entrance either. they did have markings on the floor to encourage one way traffic down aisles, and i guess we’re gonna do that too. but nothing else. i did see smaller chains have started to limit people but not companies we’re competing with. so much for that. i guess first we need to have a few positive cases in order for them to change anything. the dollar speaks volumes, eh?

i saw this article a few days ago and i keep thinking about it. it basically sums up everything that’s going through all our minds every day. (i have no idea who this website is, i saw it and i read it and it spoke to me so dont come at me if it’s something weird - i just wanted to provide a source)

I manage a grocery store.

Here’s some things everyone should know

1. I don’t have toilet paper 2. I don’t have sanitizer 3. I run out of milk, eggs and meat daily 4. I promise if it’s out on the shelf … it’s not in a hidden corner of our backroom.

Those are the predictable ones, now for the real stuff

5. I have been doing this for 25 years I did not forget how to order product. 6. I did not cause the warehouse to be out of product/ 7. I schedule as much help as I have, including many workers working TONS of overtime to help YOU. 8. I am sorry there are lines at the check out lanes.

Now for the really important stuff:

9. My team puts themselves in harm’s way every day so you can buy groceries. 10. My team works tirelessly to get product on the floor for you to buy. 11. My team is exhausted. 12. My team is scared of getting sick. 13. My team is human and does not possess an antivirus… they are in just as much danger as you are. (Arguably more) but they show up to work every day just so you can buy groceries 14. My team is tired. 15. My team is very under-appreciated. 16. My team is exposed to more people who are potentially infected in one hour than most of you will in a week (medical community excluded, thank you for all that you do!). 17. My team is abused all day by customers who have no idea how ignorant they are. 18. My team disinfects every surface possible, everyday, just so you can come in grab a wipe from the dispenser, wipe the handle and throw the used wipe in the cart or on the ground and leave it there… so my team can throw it in the trash for you later. 19. My team wonders if you wash your re-usable bags, that you force us to touch, that are clearly dirty and have more germs on them than our shopping carts do. 20. My team more than earns their breaks, lunches and days off. And if that means you wait longer I am sorry.

The last thing I will say is this:

The next time you are in a grocery store, please pause and think about what you are saying and how you are treating the people you encounter. They are the reason you are able to buy toilet paper, sanitizer, milk, eggs, and meat.

If the store you go to is out of an item.. maybe find the neighbor or friend that bought enough for a year … there are hundreds of them… and ask them to spare 1 or 2. They caused the problem to begin with…

And lastly, please THANK the people who helped you. They don’t have to come to work!

[pinkysfaultorbrainsfault]

pinky and the brain - s1e5a: where no mouse has gone before

the blood test went okay! i’m still fucking exhausted but i’m pulling through. hopefully when the results come through it’ll be something tame yet treatable.

episode summary: upon learning of a human plot to communicate with aliens from a nearby planet, brain attempts to convince them that he is earth’s leader.

the rundown:

the mice are floating around.

did i need to cap all of those images? no. i probably only needed the last one, honestly. was it funnier? absolutely. so that’s what y’all get.

brain is upside down now.

“look, brain!” cries pinky. “i’m experiencing total weightlessness!”

bonk.

they’re in an anti gravity chamber, for reasons that have not been elaborated upon. they just sort of merrily bump into each other in there until someone lets them out.

bonk.

bonk.

ow. if pinky could die, that would probably be it for his spine. brain looks more like his alarm has just gone off and he really doesn’t want to get up, but god damn it, he has a 9am on tuesdays.

gromp.

“these experiments are degrading.”

“narf! i think they’re fun, brain! i can’t wait for the next ride!”

“that is because you have no dignity.”

but it’s okay. this man in terrifying sunglasses has come to rescue the boys. air mice nyoom is over.

as he takes them back to wherever, brain spots something of interest.

IT’S A DVD. HOW ANTIQUATED. but no, he’s more concerned about whatever it is this dude is polishing.

“did you see that plaque, pinky?” brain asks, and then does... this. for some reason. i don’t know. maybe i paused at a weird time. this is, uh, not a good moment, brain. there are people here.

“poit. he really ought to floss more often.”

this, at the very least, is enough to get brain to stick his ass out slightly less, and as they get lowered into fun little chairs,

he explains to pinky that the plaque "displays representations of man, woman, and the rudiments of earth’s most sophisticated science.”

see! there are the sciences right there. all sciences can be narrowed down to a bunch of dots and pi.

so then they get put in the promare spinny machine for their crimes.

sunglasses man leaves. he has done his duty for bill and country.

completely unbothered by the prospect of fueling the promepolis warp drive, brain explains to pinky that said plaque is being “sent on a probe to the outermost extremities of the galaxy, along with a disk showing earth’s arts and music.” unfortunately, this show is set in the 90s, so it’s a miracle this episode actually happened and the aliens didn’t just listen to a couple seconds of bjork and then decide to call the whole thing off.

meanwhile, the scientist turns the spinny mode up a bit.

“if the aliens look upon it, they will learn everything they need to know about the dominant species on earth!”

“naaarf. too bad there isn’t a picture of you on there, brain!”

“exactly,” says brain, who can somehow still manage a coherent sentence. “are you pondering what i’m pondering?”

“i think so, brain! but pants with horizontal stripes make me look chubby!”

awful. brain somehow manages to convey that if he puts a picture of himself on the plaque, then the aliens will recognise him as earth’s leader.

unfortunately, most of his lower half appears to be significantly broken, so he may need some assistance.

the episode cuts straight from spinny machine to the next scene, so i’m not entirely sure how long afterwards it takes place. i assume at the very least they both had a nap first, but anyway, now the mice are here and significantly less broken, and brain is standing in front of an engraving of himself and saying voila.

“voila.”

not only has he carved himself into the plaque, he’s also carved the human figures out entirely. impressive stuff, considering that tool is bigger than him.

pinky thinks it’s marvellous!

“but who is it?”

bonk.

it gets worse. brain explains that he has “slightly altered the great art masterpieces” to enhance his own importance as earth’s leader.

slightly.

“oh, this is my favourite one, brain!”

“......how did that get in there.”

undeterred, brain switches over to some samples of The World’s Great Works Of Classical Music.

BRAIN’S THE LEADEEEEEEEEEEER BRAIN’S THE LEAAAADEEEEER

he’s even included some examples of america’s contribution to the fine arts!

ROCK. AND ROLL.

A WOP BOP A LOO BOP A LOP BAM BRAIN. let it be known that little richard was actually white and dubiously canadian.

/s

anyway brain wants them to swap his disk and plaque with the real disk and plaque, so they set off to do that.

“but brain, what about ballet? aren’t you going to give them a sample of the ballet?”

“the aliens aren’t going to care about ballet, pinky.”

or perhaps he was just too embarrassed to edit his face onto the ballets russe. it’s okay brain. we love you even if your short legs make your sissones lackluster.

time for Big Rocket.

they’re stopped at the gates, of course.

fear not! it’s only famous jet propulsion scientist wernher von brain from the braun institute in baun.

and wernher von pinky!!! from the mink institute in pink!!!

brain looks at pinky like he’s just said something stupid, and chooses to ignore the fact that wernher van braun had been dead twenty years before this cartoon takes place. very smart, brain. much genius.

still, it works on this guy.

“from now on, pinky, whatever anyone asks you, just say ‘ja’ or ‘nein’.”

BUT NEVER MIND THAT.

IT’S TIME FOR BIG ROCKET.

brain screws his custom Mouse Plaque onto the base of the rocket. he also sticks his ass out again as he does it, because he is clearly having one of those days.

pinky watches as the countdown progresses slowly, from ten-nine-eight-seven-six-five-four-three-stand by for emission.

“did you hear the countdown, pinky?”

“ja!”

“what number are they down to?”

“nien!”

“nine???”

“ja!”

“excellent, plenty of time.”

<does a gay little run into the distance>

(he did not, in fact, have plenty of time.)

“didn’t you tell me they were down to nine, pinky?”

“ja! nien! poit!”

there’s your answer, i guess.

but it’s fine! brain’s picture is on the rocket, as well as his cultural erasure of little richard, so surely nothing can go wrong now!

look at it nyooming around in space. how cute.

conclusion:

ALIENS LAND ON EARTH.

news man witters on about this being the GREATEST MOMENT IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD as various politicians and news organisations congregate to say hi to the aliens. they are from firnobulax, and they want to meet earth’s leader!

here they come now!

squelch.

the aliens politely request to be taken to earth’s leader.

“he means me,” says bill, wriggling himself to the front of the line. “i can feel his pain.”

):

the other world leaders don’t seem too sure about this.

including... this guy. who is definitely supposed to be british (”oh, really, old chap, i think he means me”) but i. definitely do not recognise him. who are you??? what did you do to the queen??????? give liz back right now you bureaucrat, or the entirety of england will throw hands.

the aliens care not for this.

so they kind of explode everyone in the venue, as you do.

the politicians watch in horror as the aliens fly right past them, to this innocent looking soap box right at the back.

the inhabitants of which came prepared. very cute.

“you are the earth creature known as. brain?”

“yes!”

“i am the leader of this planet!! ruler of all i survey!!!!!”

good for you! (:

“narf. and he really isn’t just a laboratory mouse trying to take over the world.”

brain will handle this from here, thank you.

the aliens are satisfied, at least. they give pinky a little pat on the head for all his narfs (he speaks excellent firnobulax, don’t you know, narf poit egad) and take the mice away to CELEBRATE THEIR GLORY.

it doesn’t look very comfortable, but neither of them seem to mind.

“at last, pinky! we are finally appreciated!”

“what does it feel like..........”

anyway, the spaceship full of mice flies away. brain regails the firnobulaxians with tales of how he invented electricity.

“but brain. wasn’t that ben franklin?”

bonk.

brain realises mid bonk that this probably looks very suspicious, so he convinces the aliens that this is a gesture of respect on earth.

it goes about as well as one would think it would.

“you mean all those years, you were just showing me respect! i’m touched!”

“yes, you certainly are.”

luckily, they make it back to firnobulax without too much trouble.

there’s a parade and everything. the crowd cheers “narf! poit! brain!” as they’re carried through the street, which is probably a sequence of words that brain is very used to hearing.

i don’t know what these things are, but they’re scary.

they make it to brain’s “domicile” soon enough, which is a big fancy room with a chair in it.

there’s only one chair, which is sad, but hopefully that can be mitigated. brain settles himself down triumphantly.

“from now on, pinky,” he says, “everything will be different.”

which is a good time for bars to fall down over one of the windows.

donk.

the mice look on, horrified,

as it continues around the rest of the room.

and the door, too, for good measure.

“egad, brain!” cries pinky. “they’ve locked us in!”

“yes, pinky.”

“yes.”

awww. ):

as pinky attempts to break the bars, brain wanders off back to his little chair, incredibly despondantly.

he has to prepare for tomorrow night.

“why, brain? what are we going to do tomorrow night?”

“same thing we do every night, pinky. try to take over firnobulax.”

hmmmmm.

man. i just. the plan actually worked, is the thing. it did exactly what brain intended it to. and how could he have known that firnobulax wanted to kidnap the leader of earth for scientific purposes? maybe if they’d been upfront with their intent, we would have had an excuse to send some dictators into space. go figure.

but never mind.

brain: 6 pinky: 7 outside influence: 13

“ooooo, i don’t know, brain. i once saw a group of japanese tourists absolutely melt at the final scene of giselle.”

[elzariel]

Karma Fairy

This will be a LONG one, like, short novel long, but its been a long gig and I need to tell the world of this mess, hoping this'll pay my debt back to the karma fairy for letting justice rain on this.

The cast: Me MOS (manager on site) CB (cheeky bugger) HAH (horny asshole)

TLDR; HAH acts like he's the pro and brags to everyone, before talking shit about coworkers behind their back to other coworkers and boss, then doesn't do his job, expects boss not to find out he's skipping work, doesn't turn to work and when boss wants to ask him what the fuck, doesn't even answer his phone. HAH is in for a surprise when MOS will never hire him again and probably will cut ties with him all together, as he now knows what a shit person HAH is.   

Background info: I'v been with this company for half a year now, but have recently moved from another town. My old boss offered to introduce me to the manager at the new town and said they could easily get me more work there. I agree that I'd love to keep working for them, as I'v been cleaning for years on several smaller companies, but its never ended happily. Turns out cleaning as a profession is a swamp of bad customers and crap employers. Who knew. All in all, this company has been nothing but nice and I love working for them. The two managers I'v worked for were stellar gents, I trust them and will bend backwards to keep the customer happy for these people. My current boss at the company, is a friendly, no nonsense guy. I'v met him like, twice before I got to the worksite, but he seemed to get along well with my old boss, so I trust this guy. A little scatterbrained and bad at choosing workers, but we all make mistakes. Also kinda crap at making inventory on what needs to be done when etc. but its okay, he has a whole town's cleaning jobs to run for a fairly big company.

My new manager, MOS, asks if I want to do a short gig, since they don't have anything stable to give me yet. I agree, as I want work asap. This would also raise my experience and give me kudos in the company for accepting short notice work, since MOS called me a day before the gig starts. (turns out nobody else wanted to do it except me and CB) Gig is at an office type building, to clean before the new tenants move in. Space has been cleaned after the last tenant left, but they want us to deep clean the space, since new tenant has had problems with in-door air quality at their last place, meaning they're gonna be absolutely anal about new place being clean. MOS makes it clear to all three of us working there, me, CB and HAH that this is IMPORTANT. The dust HAS to be gone. From EVERYWHERE. There is no slacking at this job. This is one of those gigs where it has to be spotless or we'll have to just re-do it until it is.

On day one, I meet my work buddies for this gig. CB, darker skinned immigrant worker, speaks fairly ok english and a understandable version of the language of the land. Does the jobs given to him, or so we thought. Not a bad dude, just has a shit ton of work on his plate, including another cleaning company next to ours, this raises tension with him and MOS. HAH, dude says he's a veteran of the field. Has been cleaning "forever". Keeps mentioning how he's a pro at window washing and seems oddly fixated on windows, as if he thinks this is his only job here. MOS said he hired this guy because HAH didn't have work atm. Never said that HAH would only be doing windows. From that day on, HAH would constantly, and I mean CONSTANTLY, keep talking how the windows will only take him a day to do, including the outside. How this job, that has been scheduled for 70 hours or in other words 5 days, will only take us like two, so we can take it slow and laze around. (Of course not when MOS is around, but he openly talks about going slow with me and CB. Even bitches at me for doing the bathrooms "too fast" as we'll "run out of work" if I don't slow down.) When HAH wasn't boasting about how fast this'll be, he is talking about sex. Not kidding. This man spent 80% of the time his mouth was moving talking about fucking, dicks, vags, railing women and the sort. Now I ain't a prude, but damn son, reel it in a little. He's 49, going through a divorce, with kids my age (29) and it seems like he has no other topics besides being a fast worker and how many women he's banged. CB humors him, but I only answer with curt, short comments. I'm not interested. I'm here to work, not boost someone's ego. We get trouble almost immediately. HAH starts on indoors glass surfaces, while me and CB start trying to figure out how the heck we're supposed to clean the windows that are second story high, we have our own saga with fighting a scaffolding set that's not only badly installed, but at the wrong spot, trying to get it moved, trying to have CB not die falling from cleaning on this thing, etc. It is not fun, its driving MOS insane trying to get the guys responsible for the scaffolding to help us. It goes on for most of the time we're there. In the end, all higher windows have to be cleaned with a seriously dodgy ladder.

Trouble starts on the third last day. Its monday. I come in to find nobody there. Okay, I assume CB has been working too much again and can't come in today, or will be late. Its a trend, but I'm like, its okay. We're almost done anyways. On Friday, HAH left super SUPER early, saying he's done all he needs and we'll do the windows outside on monday when it gets warmer. I shrug, almost tell him to fuck off since he's done jack shit all week, even though he was supposed to help us with EVERYTHING, not just windows, but let him leave because its his fault when MOS comes by later that day and he gets in trouble. MOS got annoyed as fuck when he did come by, but said I could leave early too since we're almost done. (or were we, dun dun duu)

At around lunch on monday, I call MOS to ask about the bathrooms in the foyer, if they belong to the office space and if I should clean them too. Here's the convo: "Yeah those are part of the office too." "Hey I wanted to ask, where is everybody? I'm alone here and we aren't nearly done." "Oh uhh.. Yeah HAH was there this morning, but since the usual electricians didn't show up before 9am, he waited outside the door for an hour and left, without calling me to get someone to open the door." "What?! He left???" "Yeah I don't think I'm hiring this guy again after this. Old friend or not. He's getting all kinds of cocky.." "Well, yeah, he left super early on friday too, saying how he'd finish the outside windows on monday but I guess thats tomorrow then?" MOS apologizes and tells me he's gonna come by in a few to do inventory on what needs to be done and check up a bit on what has been done. We're going to have a check-up with the customer on tuesday around noon, so we'll know what the customer wants re-done by wednesday. MOS shows up in about half an hour, I tell him the list of stuff that needs doing, at this point its mostly the floors, one bathroom needs a quick dust-up since its been in use. We walk around and spot some dusty window frames. MOS looks suspicious af and starts touching ALL the window frames indoors. There's dust everywhere. HAH was supposed to wipe these as he cleaned them, turns out he didn't. While we're doing that, we spot a few ventilation vents that need to be vacuumed, nothing major. Some walls are scuffed and we comment on how that could use a touch up. All in all it looks ok. Rest of monday is spent with CB, who shows up late, getting upper surface dusting done and me finishing small stuff like the bathrooms and some of the walls. By the end of day, I'v seen MOS outside with window cleaning stuff finishing the outside windows. I'm starting to suspect he is so done with HAH at this point. This is tuesday. I come in fairly early, as I can only work for 3 hours that day. In between that tuesday and the first day there, I'v gotten a small bank job from CB to do three times a week + I'm doing holiday leave for a bigger job in town, cutting my available hours to 3 at the office space. This means I'm there for 3 hours, finishing up dusting high up surfaces, when I walk past where MOS and HAH are talking in a room. HAH is making snide comments on how he's surprised (me) can use the floor cleaning equipment. I listen in, take a deep breath, and walk away. Not worth it. I don't have the energy to explain to this jackass I have a damn degree, that has 40% of it concentrated on machine usage and maintenance. I can use any and all equipment a cleaning job needs, be it floor cleaners, polishers, watervacuums or those mini-zambonis. Client shows up around noon. MOS is busy walking the premises with them and I immediately realize there's trouble. The client(s) turn out to be a group of people, with various faces and job titles. MOS looks horrified about 5 minutes in and it just gets worse from there. HAH has done a shit job. Like, major shit job. CB did some of the windows high up, but since he's clearly never been actually taught how to do it, he did it in whatever way that felt logical to him. HAH was supposed to spot clean after CB, but this combo just turned into a mess where ALL indoors window frames had to now be re-dusted with a wet cloth. Yes. All of them. 1000m2 of space, re-dusted. That's 10 763,9 sq ft for americans. HAH had the balls to walk past me re-dusting with "I did that when I cleaned the windows you don't have to do that" which I curtly responded to with "No, the customer literally just said everything has to be re-done." This caused HAH to start doing the SAME THING I WAS DOING. We now had TWO people dusting these window frames, like idiots, while the customer is there. I was so very VERY close to throwing my rag at this guy, telling him to fucking find something useful to do, instead of passive-aggressively following me. I was already doing the job, what on earth! On top of this, the customer found dust. But refused to tell us where he found the dust from. MOS is flabbergasted. How does hiding where it is help us clean? We have no idea, we went through the whole location trying to find this mystery dust treasure trove. Got some hits, cleaned those. MOS is defeated and deflated, he is tired and done after the customer(s) leave. Turns out we have to re-do most light-fixtures, some windows needed a re-wipe, the floors are still not done. I leave on tuesday early, with HAH still shit talking to MOS, now insulting CB's work ethic and results openly, getting more and more racist by the minute. I exit before I have to hear what he has to say about my cleaning. So its wednesday now. Its technically our last day there and everything has to be perfect, finished and spotless before anyone can go home. What does HAH do? Leave early. I come in around 9:30, by 10:00 HAH is gathering his gear talking about how there's only the floor to clean and we should be done. CB is coming later to help right, you'll be fine on your own with 1000m2 flooring to clean! (again, 10 763,9 sq ft) Apparently only some of the offices floors need cleaning, mostly what is needed is two front offices, the big entrance room, a hallway and the foyer. All this time HAH is talking, he is clearly talking about using the small floor cleaning machine we have there. He even points at it, making sure I know how to use it etc. Before he leaves, I ask him to help me move all our equipment, scattered around the office, to the main lobby room and clean up a little. I'm thinking, he can at least do THAT, right?? No. No he cannot. He brings maybe third of the equipment to the lobby, helps with none of the trash, and just poofs into thin air. I'm like, ok, I'm fine with this. I start by checking that everything is ok, spot clean some walls, then start on the floor. I use the little machine we have. At the lesser used end of the hallway it works fine. It looks clean etc. But by the time I'm at the lobby end of the hallway, I'm seeing streaks on the floor. This is a trend that continues through the two offices and the foyer. After I'm done with the lobby/main entrance room, I realize this isn't gonna fly. The floor is super streaky and I can't figure out what is going on. I'm technically done now, all the floors are ran through once with the cleaning machine, but I just don't feel right leaving without asking MOS about the floor, if there's something to do, if I can leave etc. I text MOS if I can leave, I'm done with everything, I think, etc. Ask about the streaking. Then I start my lunch. I know he's at a meeting so getting an answer might take time and I'm in no hurry, as I have no other work on wednesdays, I can stay here however long that is needed. I don't hear anything in 45 minutes and decide fuck it, I'll call him. MOS answers instantly, laughing how he was just about to call. We laugh about telepathy and here's the convo: "So are the electricians gone? They were supposed to finish today right? Are you guys alone?" "What? No, I'm alone. There's two electricians here with me, they seem pissed too, I guess nobody is in time here." "Wait what? You're alone? Where's HAH??? Didn't CB show up??" "Uhh no?" "What in the actual fuck!? What happened???" "HAH was here until about 10am but he left, said everything was done, he had nothing to do so he'd be off" "What the fuck does he mean Nothing to do?? The floors are- are the floors done?" "Well see, there's this weird streaking problem.. I don't want to leave before you ok me to leave, since this doesn't look clean to me, tbh" "Give me 20 minutes. I'll be there. I'll give you a ride home later." "I'm in no hurry, I have no other work for today" MOS shows up in exactly 20 minutes. "The polishing machine hasn't done a very good job has it.." "What polishing machine?" "Huh? You haven't used the polishing machine on the lobby yet?" "No??? I wasn't told that was to be done. All HAH told me was to use the small machine and we'd be done?" "No, we need to use the polishin machine on the lobby, foyer and probably the hallway too, looking at the streaking, the shit's stained too deep for the small machine to penetrate it. Fucking HAH! What the hell does he think he's doing!? Why the hell did we bring the polishing machine and watervacuum here if its not used! Idiots!" At this point MOS starts cursing and I realize its finally dawned on him how much work there still is to do, and its just me and him now. MOS calls around trying to reach anyone to help, CB can't come he's already used his hours today, again. (Turns out he isn't even doing his jobs at the other places he cleans well, he has been lazying around wasting time and not following customer wishes/demands for a while, MOS tells me I might be getting stable work sooner than later, as it seems CB is gonna get booted too if his shitty work quality continues) Its now about 1pm and MOS asks me, looking desperate, if I'm okay helping him for the afternoon and for the next day as well. I agree, saying I'd gladly take the cash and how this vexes me too. The floor looks terrible + I want to look as good as possible to MOS now that I know both CB and HAH have screwed over their graces royally. We take a couple hours to use the smaller machine again the offices, but with the Good Stuff used with the polishing machine, resulting in clean floors. While I'm doing the offices, MOS starts on the lobby, with the Good Stuff + the polisher. GS is a very smelly, acidic chemical meant to strip wax off flooring, so its serious stuff, but also proceeds to get this grimy, black substance to come out the plastic flooring, making us realize some poor fucker waxed this floor, thinking it'd help (spoiler it didn't, don't wax plastic flooring) and that was causing the streaking, as the smaller machine can't strip wax but it can streak it. Thing is, when you use the polishing machine, you literally throw water and cleaning agent on the floor, run it over with the polisher then use the watervacuum to remove the dirty water. Its a two person job or it takes forever, since you cannot let the detergent and water dry, or you have to re-do everything. There was NO way I could have done this alone in a sensible time! HAH either knew this and was a cruel shit head or didn't know and wasn't the pro he said he was. By the time its 3pm, we have the lobby half done and the offices finished. The next day would be the hallway and the rest of the lobby. Before we leave, MOS tries to call HAH to ask him what the fuck is up, but doesn't get an answer. I tell MOS not to bother, HAH knows he's in shit so won't answer. MOS drives me home and on the way he expresses his regret in letting HAH in on the job, saying how if he knew what a bastard HAH'd be, MOS would never have hired HAH. MOS also tells me how HAH spent the whole tuesday shit talking CB and my work, how if HAH was alone he'd finished in 2 days. TWO DAYS. MOS says that was the point where he stopped listening and decided this man was beyond help. This is also when I heard MOS talk about how CB's other locations have been complaining a lot, saying how CB would leave equipment everywhere, would not clean the whole time he was supposed to be cleaning, would not show up at work etc. Got pretty much told I could have free pick when CB was fired later this year on his locations. MOS also mentioned how he was going to find out if there was anything he could do about HAH's pay, since he hadn't been at work or if he had been at work hadn't actually worked. I told MOS some pretty exact times when I knew HAH was working, meaning HAH couldn't bullshit his hours to MOS saying he'd worked when he hadn't.

Sadly, I didn’t go on thursday after all, as I realized I had a medical appointment I thought was on friday but was on thursday instead, so I have no other ending to this, except the knowledge that HAH will never work for MOS again.

I apologize for the HUGE wall of text, but it was a wild week and by the end of it, I could literally see karma fairy when I closed my eyes. I just wish I could be a fly on the wall when HAH realizes what a shit show this gig was and how its gonna affect his work prospects with this company.

Epilogue: Also, as a sidenote, yeah, this whole thing was a mess from the customer perspective too. By the time we got to wednesday, the electricians weren't done, they were supposed to have been done DAYS before we were to be done. There was new renovations that needed to be done showing up constantly. Several smaller jobs hadn't been done etc. I feel bad for the new tenants, who were supposed to move in on FRIDAY, with walls to be painted and crap still MIA. So its almost as if the picky customer got karma'd too. They were so hellbent on having the cleaning done perfectly, that the renovations weren't done anywhere near in time, meaning the nice clean floors and bathrooms? Now dirty again from reno guys using them for a good two days after we finished. And as we have picture evidence of our work, they can't come back saying we didn't clean. We did our job and their reno guys fucked our work up, not our problem.

TLDR; HAH acts like he's the pro and brags to everyone, before talking shit about coworkers behind their back to other coworkers and boss, then doesn't do his job, expects boss not to find out he's skipping work, doesn't turn to work and when boss wants to ask him what the fuck, doesn't even answer his phone. HAH is in for a surprise when MOS will never hire him again and probably will cut ties with him all together, as he now knows what a shit person HAH is.

[wannabe-bella]

Friends? More Like Better Enemies

Friends? More Like Better Enemies - Detective AU Series

It started three days ago.  

At first, she thought it was nothing, but now...  

Now Beca knew it was personal.

Monday

Lying in bed should be a good thing, right? Like a really, really good thing. But for Beca it was the complete opposite. Lying in bed meant that she had nothing to do and with two months into her suspension, that was exactly what Beca was doing.  

Nothing.  

Sitting up, Beca glances around her room with a sigh. She still had another month until the suspension was lifted off.  

"Stupid rules," She huffs while pulling back the duvet cover. Shuffling her way into the kitchen of her apartment, Beca begins making her coffee.  

And that's when she notices it.  

Leaning on the counter, she brings her attention to the window that looks directly down onto the street below, right where her car is usually parked.  

Oh, don't worry, it's still there... except the front window is smashed through.  

"Are you kidding me?"  

Pulling on her converse, Beca runs down the apartment building all in her pyjama covered glory, towards her car. Pulling the door open, she jogs out only to come to a halt.  

It's not only the window that's been destroyed.  

The tires have been too. And by the looks of it each tire had been slashed.  

Seething, Beca kicks over the trashcan to her right... and soon realizes it was a bad idea.  

"AGH!"  

Tuesday

"I can't take this anymore!" The brunette says into the phone while she stands outside the mechanic's garage.  

"Okay, calm it Shawshank..." Comes the reply from the Australian on the other end.  

"How can I calm it?" Beca asks, pacing back and forth. "My car has been totalled, Amy. Totalled."  She repeats. "And the audacity of you!"  

"What did I do now?!" Fat Amy asks, sounding a little dumfounded.  

"You called me Shawshank." Beca states before stopping in her tracks, "I work in a Police force." She reminds her.  

"So?" Amy replies, "Doesn't change the fact that you were arrested."  

"That was one time!" Beca protests running a hand through her hair.  

"You were arrested by Jesse for destruction of property," Amy reminds, "Last year, Beca." She adds, her voice in a deadpan tone.  

Sighing, Beca nods, "Fine, whatever..." Looking up, the brunette sees the mechanic make his way over, "I gotta go."  

"A'right, talk to you-"  

Hanging up, Beca pockets her phone before bringing her attention to the mechanic, "So, can you fix it?" She asks, sounding slightly hopeful. She watches as the mechanic looks to his clipboard before glancing back to her, "Yeah. We can fix it-"

"Yes!"  

"-but it's gonna cost."  

"Oh."  

"Yeah," He says before adding, "Don't worry, it's only a few hundred dollars." He says so casually like as if telling her that is going to be reassuring.  

"A few hundred?" Beca nods with a tight-lipped smile. "Awesome."  

"Is there a problem?" The man asks.  

"Hmm? Oh, no..." Beca trails off, tapping the tip of her shoe along the ground, "It's all good."  

"Great!" The mechanic quips before motioning over his shoulder, "If you'd follow me, we can sort out the details of the payment."  

"Oh, we're doing this now..." Beca mumbles surprised but follows him anyway. Stopping, and almost walking straight into the dudes back, the brunette finds herself standing at the register desk. She watches as the mechanic give's the details to the employee behind the desk before turning back to her.  

"Dax here, will be able to sort out your payment." He says, "Oh, and I'm Theo," He adds with his hand outstretched, "Let me know if you need anything." He smiles.  

Awkwardly, Beca's eyes move between his hand and face. "Oh, thanks... Theo." Begrudgingly, Beca lifts her hand to his, shaking it before dropping it almost immediately. "You know, I once owned a pet turtle named Theo." She says, watching him pause in place, "You actually kinda look like him."  

"Lovely," He says trailing off before walking away awkwardly.  

Turning to Dax, Beca focuses her attention on him, "So, how much is it?"  

XxX

"What do you mean you couldn't pay for it?" Asks the Australian from across the table.  

"I couldn't pay for it! My card was empty!" Beca exclaims picking up her drink. "All my money?" She says before taking a large gulp, "Gone!" She slams the glass back onto the table.  

"Calm down, Mitchell," Chloe says from opposite her, "You're brining attention to yourself," The redhead states, her eyes watching over the other tables.  

"I don’t care." Beca huffs, falling back into her seat.  

"Oh, stop being dramatic," Chloe says, taking a sip from her drink.

"You're the dramatic bitch!"  

Rolling her eyes, the redhead sets her drink back down.  

"This sucks." Beca says, slouching her arms over the table. "I get suspended, my car gets destroyed and now I've been robbed from all my money!"  

"You didn't have much to begin with," Chloe pipes in with a shrug, seeing the confused stares she explains, "What? Have you seen the stuff Beca owns?"  

"No..." Amy says slowly. "Beca never lets us into her apartment," Grinning, she looks to the redhead, "Have you seen Beca's stuff?" She winks. "If you know what I mean," She whispers adding another wink.  

Scrunching her face up at the comment, Beca directs her attention to Chloe with raised eyebrows. Looking between Beca and Amy, Chloe shakes her head, "What? No!" She laughs, taking a sip of her drink, "That's... Why would I be in Beca's apartment?" She answers, her voice suddenly high-pitched.  

"You tell me, ginga." Amy says, sounding suspicious.  

"You know what?" Chloe says, standing, "I don't need to be here." Picking up her jacket, the redhead stomps her way out of the bar. But before she leaves she hears Beca call back a "You're a dramatic bitch!" And not looking over, the redhead can't stop herself from calling back, "I know!"  

Shaking her head with a grin, Beca takes a sip from her drink, "So easy..." She mutters to herself.  

"I see you, Mitchell." The Australian says making the brunette glance up.

"Naturally enough. You're sitting right in front of me."  

"No, not that," Amy rolls her eyes. "I see how you look at Chloe."  

"What?" Beca asks with a chuckle.  

"So, that's how you're gonna be?" Fat Amy says, shaking her head. "I knew it."  

"Dude. What are you talking about?" Beca questions with a raised eyebrow.  

"Don't question me," Amy says, "I am superior to you right now."

"Yeah? And why's that?" Beca asks, amused.  

"Because I bought you that drink," The blonde points to the drink in question which sits in the brunette's hand. "Because I still have all my money."  

"I hate you."  

Wednesday  

Deciding that 9am run is a good thing, Beca ties up the laces of her sneakers before jogging her way down her apartment complex.  

She needs this. A good run to clear her head from all the recent events.  

On her run, Beca sprints past a few birds that – she swears – death glares at her before stopping at her local diner. Thankfully she knows the old lady that owns the place, Mrs. Willsmith (awesome name) and bribes her into giving her a free coffee to go.  

Thinking that things can only go up from here, Beca makes her way outside the diner with a small smile on her face.  

She's only a few steps out when a stone flies her way, hitting the coffee cup causing her to drop it.  

"OH, COME ON!"

Present Day (AKA Thursday)  

"I'm telling you, someone is after me." Beca exclaims with her arms outstretched.  

"Ms. Mitchell, I'm going to need you to calm down," Captain McKadden says from behind her desk.  

"Gail. You gotta believe me." Beca pleads, rising from the chair. Seeing the other woman glance up, Beca rolls her eyes.  

"Sorry... Captain." Running a hand through her hair, Beca speaks again, "Look, if you just lift this suspension, I can-"

"No."  

"You didn't even let me finish-"  

"And I don't need you to." Gail states. "I'm sorry, Beca. But you still have four weeks left of your suspension. Once it is over, you may come back." She says. "But for the meantime, I suggest you go home."  

"But-"

"No but's, I'll send Detective Beale and Detective Swanson to investigate your... situation."  

Sighing, Beca nods before making her way out, "Fine." But before she leaves, the brunette looks back to say, "Oh, and it's Detective Mitchell."  

XxX  

"So, how much has Mitchell told you about this?" Chloe asks Jesse while flipping through the document in front of her.  

"That her car's been totalled, those exact words, uh... her money's been stolen," He says while steering the car, "Oh, and that someone 'fucked up her run by shooting at her highly expensive coffee'." He states using air quotes. Grinning at her, he adds, "Again, those exact words."  

"She was shot?" The redhead questions with her brows furrowed. "Shouldn't she be... Oh, I don't know, in the hospital?"  

"Umm, excuse you? I clearly said my coffee was shot." A voice interrupts from the back-passenger seat erupting terrified screams from both Jesse and Chloe.  

Jesse's sounds oddly like a 5-year old girl's. But... let's not question it.  

"Dude!" He screams, his hand held to his heart. "What the hell are you doing!"  

"Solving this case." Beca answers.  

"You're suspended, Mitchell." Chloe reminds, looking over her shoulder at her.  

"I know that, Beale," She replies, "But this case is about me. I have every right to know what's going on."  

"Can't you just trust us?" Chloe asks, a little frustrated bringing her attention back to the document.  

"Oh, I'd love to, Princess..." Beca says, trailing off, "But I just can't bring myself to."  

"Dick." Chloe mumbles while writing something down.

"What was that?" Beca says, pulling herself forward and leaning over. "Did you just say you wanted some di-"

"No!" Chloe interrupts, turning to Beca only to be startled by how close they are, "Don't..." She stalls, moving her face away from the brunette's, "Don't finish that."  

"Sure," Beca says, falling back into the seat with her hands raised. "Tell me what you've got so far," She directs to Jesse.  

"Well, from the information that you've given us on who you think the suspect is, we've narrowed it down to ten-"

"Ten!" Beca sighs, interrupting him, "We're gonna be here all day. You know, I could have solved this case by now."  

"There's no 'we' in this situation, Beca," Chloe chimes in, "This is our case," She says, motioning from herself to Jesse. "Not yours."  

"But I'm the-"  

"Victim?" The redhead finishes with a smirk. "Yes. Which means, you leave it to us to find out who did it."  

"Whatever." Beca slouches back into the seat. "Let me out." She suddenly says.  

Sighing, Jesse pulls the car to a halt over by the sidewalk, "What are you doing?"  

"Solving this case." Beca answers, opening the door and stepping out of the vehicle.  

"Be careful," Jesse calls out before speeding off.  

"Does she even know where's she's at?" Chloe asks him, glancing into the rear-view mirror to see Beca look around confused.  

"Probably not," He answers honestly with a shrug.  

"I know where I'm at..." Beca says to herself while roaming her eyes around the neighborhood. "Totally know where I'm a-"  

Without warning, Beca finds herself surrounded by darkness and feels herself being dragged away. "What the hell!?" She screams, "Let go off me!" She says, kicking and thrashing her feet around.  

"Not now, Detective," Comes from somewhere, presumably from the person holding her, "I'm sorry to do this," She hears his deep voice say before a laugh erupts, "Ha! I'm not sorry at all."

"Wait, wh-" Suddenly she feels the grip on her loosen and a heavy weight come right down onto her head.  

XxX

"Wakey, wakey, Detective," Comes the deep voice, wakening her from her slumber. Cracking her eyes open, Beca's eyes saunter in on the man in front of her. He's stood in all his 6-foot, bearded self as he smirks down at her.  

"Jack," She's spits out with a glare sent at him.

"Ah, ah, ah..." He shakes his head somewhat disappointedly at her, "Jack..." He trails off.  

Rolling her eyes, she sighs, "Dude, he's dead-"  

"SAY IT!"  

"Jeez," Beca mumbles, raising an eyebrow "Okay. Jack the Ripper." She says, rolling her eyes again.  

It's then when she realizes her position.  

Her arms are tied behind her back and a rope is slung around her waist to keep her from moving from the chair she's sat on.  

"Dude, what is this all abou-" She stops herself mid-sentence. "Wait... It's you. Isn't it?" She says, glaring at him, "It was all you!"

"Yep," He nods his head with a beaming grin. "All me!" Motioning to himself he adds, "See this? All this did it!" He smiles wider, which only adds to Beca's anger.  

With a laugh, he makes his way over to the table to Beca's left and suddenly snorts the white line of powder along it. "Ooh, that's the good stuff," She hears him mutter.  

"Dude."  

"This is all your fault!" Jack says twisting around, startling her, a pistol now in his possession. "This," He waves his hands around, motioning to his surroundings, "All. Your. Fault."

"How?" Beca asks.  

"It was 2 years ago..."  

"And...?" She raises an eyebrow.  

"And what?"  

"That's all your gonna say?"  

"Yes." He answers.  

"That's incredible. Very helpful, indee-"  

"Okay, shut up!" He interrupts pointing the gun at her making her sit up a little straighter.  

"Okay, Jack. Calm down-"  

"You arrested Jimmy!" He exclaims, bringing the gun closer to her face. "Jimmy was my brother. And you arrested him."  

"Look, man." She starts, "I was just doing my job-" Before she can finish, she's silenced by a hard hit by the pistol to the face. Taking a deep breath, she looks up to him, "Was that really necessary?" She asks, feeling blood trickle from her eyebrow.  

"Probably not," Jack answers with a shrug, "But he trusted you. You told him you were his friend when really? You were just undercover."  

"I was just doing my job, man." She repeats. "Look, I'm sorry about Jimmy. I really am... but you guys were- are," She corrects, "Total druggies, dude." Before adding a, "No offence."  

"None taken," He says his frame slouching. Dropping the gun, Jack moves so he's sat on the chair beside Beca. "It's true. My life is drugs, drugs and drugs," He says listing them off with his fingers. "I can't live without 'em."  

"I can tell." Beca voices, "Dude, was the car slashing really necessary?"  

Shrugging, he answers, "No. I guess that was uncalled for." He the sighs, "I shoulda' stole it instead."  

Eyes widening, Beca shakes her head, "No, that would have been a terrible idea. So, don't go thinking about doing it." Pausing looks to him, "Like, ever."  

XxX

"I trusted you!" Jack screams while his two hands are being cuffed from behind. "BPD, you're under arrest..." Jesse say's trailing him away and to his car. Smirking Beca watches as he is forced into the back seat before bringing her attention to the redhead stood to her left, "It only took you three hours to find me."  

"Be happy I didn't make it six." Chloe says back making the brunette sigh. A few moments tick by before any of them speak.  

"Thank you." Beca voices making the other girl look over, "For finding me and you know... arresting him."  

"You're welcome." Chloe replies with a genuine smile. Grinning back, Beca points to the cut on her eyebrow, "Pretty badass, right?"  

With the shake of her head, Chloe lets out a small giggle, "Oh, it's totes badass." She says before bringing a hand up to Beca's face. The brunette's breathing labours as she feels Chloe run her hand along her jaw. Suddenly the redhead glides her thumb along the cut causing Beca to wince.  

"But you're so not."  

Glaring as the redhead skips away, Beca feels the edges of her lips twitch as Chloe glances over at her with a beaming grin plastered on her face.

"What a weirdo."  

I don't know how I feel about this... anyway, I hope you guys enjoyed this! I'm gonna try update this or add more one-shots as often as I can because it's so fun to write these characters.

And thank you to everyone who liked the last one-shot. I really appreciate it. :)

[katewalker]

Update

I absolutely have to tell y’all more about my internship (real long ass text under cut)

So as you maybe know I arrived in Malta last Saturday and I’m only back in France mid-February. The weekend was great, sunny, no work... it was cool. Then we received a mail from our boss with a worksheet and a European project to work on (after all it’s an internship). No work on Monday so we had time to go on site 3km away and see where we will be working. We have to walk for like 20 minutes to arrive at the bus stop for a ten minute ride and since the bus routes in Malta are a bit weird (at least when you’re used to the French system) we go back home by foot because otherwise the bus ride last one hour. We met the guardian of the reserve and we had a slight misunderstanding on where was the office but our boss clarified the situation. 

Tuesday, we left at 8am then walked to the bus stop. We arrived at the Natural Reserve/Office at 8:30am. We were stressed. We waited until 9am. Nobody was there, the gate was closed, no other interns/volunteers, no boss, no guardian. 15 minutes later someone was coming, it was a EVS girl from Turkey, really nice and friendly, we tried to communicate with her a bit, but she doesn’t speak/understand English very well and that’s okay, but we had -still have- so many questions and she couldn’t reassure us. She explained that the guardian lived here and that he was asleep so she started shouting his name so he’d come open the gate for us. At this moment I was starting to wonder why I came here. 

At 9:30am, another EVS arrived, a guy also from Turkey, kinda staring at us all the time, he freaked me out a little. Finally the guardian heard us and opened the gate. The place is where the new offices are going to be located. Before the office and the reserve were at different places, but not anymore. To make it short, the office is just a small room with a table and a few chairs and no WiFi. At 9:45, 2 other EVS girl also from Turkey arrived (they don’t speak English that well either so communication is a bit difficult and it took some time before we could adapt and speak more slowly and use more simple words). 

Another misunderstanding with the Turkish girls on why we were here led us to tend to the garden instead of working on our project “all morning”. We worked from 10am to 11:30am and then one of the girl said “we’re tired and we go back home see you”. Like, on my contract it was said we had to work from 9am until 1pm. We were so bored we decided to head back to the airport earlier in order to welcome our friend who couldn’t embark on the plane with us on Saturday. We also tried to contact our boss who wasn’t here to welcome us on our first day and obtain more information on our work but he never answered.

Yesterday we were back at the reserve/office at 9am. We went to the room with the table to start working on our assignements, but without WiFi it’s impossible to do research. The Turkish volunteers we met the day before arrived super late again and the dude came here saw nobody in the garden, didn’t think about checking the room and left, just like that!! The three other girls also left at 11:45am. We waited until 12pm, because we were supposed to meet the boss at the “office” but he never came. We head back home by foot (IS2G Malta is so hilly, I can’t feel my legs or my feet after walking those 3km back home) and decided to work on our projects and we tried to contact our boss again asking him if it was mandatory to work from the office. He replied that since the WiFi is bad at the Reserve, we didn’t have to come every morning and we could work from home and send him our works via mail and that he’s always present at the reserve on Saturdays so we’ll go then for him to sign the documents we need him to sign for the grant, the agreement etc. We need to go to the Reserve on Saturdays anyway because it’s in our worksheet, part of our internship is tend to the garden/organic farm.

All of this to say that nothing is organised in this NGO, nobody seems to care, everybody do what they want. I’m not use to this level of autonomy and I’m a bit scared my lecturers back at uni are gonna be angry about this internship because I think the concept of an internship in Malta especially in an NGO is completely different from what we call an internship in France? The approach is so different, much more flexible and it’s a bit weird, because we are so stressed and our boss seems so calm and laid-back? I mean, I don’t complain, it will allow us to have more time to discover the island and maybe even go to Italy for my birthday!

Also I caught a cold... I hate my weak immune system. Otherwise living with flatmates is going rather well so far and I’m not sure I’ll be able to be that active either, because we’re playing tourists quite a lot.

[inspirationallyinsane]

November 2 2017

Hello Tumblr :) I am doing well. Life is so funny. Sometimes bad things happen for a really long time and so when another bad thing happens you expect it to keep happening for a really long time but then, it doesn't. And everything feels ok so soon. It's wonderful. I have the greatest friends. Zach is the best dude. He's so much fun all the time. I give him shit now for being boring but honestly I never fail to laugh when I'm around Zach. And I've been making a ton of new friends at SOU, I have two new guys to play league with. They're awesome too. I had a fun halloween. I went to a little get together at SOU. All we ended up doing was watching Sausage Party but it was still rad. And then I got to go hang out with Zach and pals until like 4 in the morning. Unfortunately I had work at 9am the next day and I thought I was going to die all day but I got through it and ultimately it was super worth it. And! Jon and I were texting the other day and he said the nicest things. He's a really good guy. His texts made me smile. It was nice to hear from him. I've been going out a lot recently. Kinda mostly with guys who want to date me, and I know I'm never going to date them, but it is fun to have a good time and hang out. I don't know. I do know that I am making a lot of temporary friendships right now. Which makes it a whole lot easier for me. I don't need twenty best friends forever. My life can be full with temporary people, places, and things. Because on top of all the temporary people, I also have a few really solid people in my life. I think that is how it is supposed to be. I just never had the temporary people before. I didn't know how to do casual friendship. It is good to learn. My mommo is a great solid person I have. We haven't been talking as much the last few days, as we have both been busy, but we still find time to snap or call for a few minutes. Her support means the world to me. I haven't talked to my dad in a long ass time. It's been over a month, at least. It's kinda weird since we live in the same town and all. Some days I care more than others. The other day I thought he was calling me from his work phone, since I don't have it saved and it was a similar number to who was calling, so I answered. It ended up being some lady telling me about addiction help clinics or whatever. I was sad that day. Most of the time I don't really care though. My mom says I should call him but like, why? What do I have to say to my father. "Hey dad, please try to care about me more?" Like I want him to call me and ask about my life. I'd feel really awkward asking about his. Other than work stuff I guess but even then with all the bullshitting around the money I'd feel strange even talking about that. I don't know. I want to believe people change. I want to believe that people can change their minds. I want to believe that a person's situation can change. I want to believe that if a person sees another person has changed he'll change his mind about them. I don't want to believe that once a person doesn't love you, they'll never love you. I don't think that is true. I also don't know if my dad is one of those people who will ever change. I want to believe that the other "Men I've Loved" can. Worrying about that kind of stuff is dumb though. Because there is nothing I can do right now. I need to stop being afraid of being alone, or being unloved, or never fully being able to love someone else. It will happen for me, one way or another. In kinda sad, kinda funny news, AG unfriended me on league and unfollowed all my social medias. I have no idea why. He just did it too, on Sunday or whatever. I mean, we have been broken up for months and for a long time he acted like he wanted to stay friends and all this and that. Everything was cool as long as we were fucking. And that's the only thing that changed, I wasn't going to fuck him anymore. So he stopped texting me and then a few weeks later decides I'm not even worth being on his league friend list. How ridiculous?? I don't know. Maybe I thought I meant more to him. We did date for a long ass time. Weird shit, in my opinion. Idk though. Maybe that's just what you're supposed to do. Who knows what is going on with him? Target has been good. And bad. It is sometimes hard for me to be there. I was so mad the other day. Y'all can prolly guess why. But maybe some good came out of it. I had a conversation with Target. Didn't clear much up for me. I don't know what is going on with that one either. I may be leaving the actual company Target soon. I got a call from US Bank saying they wanted to give me an interview maybe. They also said the fact that I go to school is an issue and then asked if I planned on dropping out next semester. Which I think is kinda ridiculous? You are offering a part time, 27 hour position, and the fact that I can't work from 10-12 on Tuesdays and Thursdays is a major issue? So we'll see. Bottom line, I'm looking for a way out. I don't want to have to work crazy hours anymore. And I'm definitely strong enough to deal with it and have multiple relationships with various people in my life so. Who isn't. Fucking weak sauce, my dude. I do think that Target is lying to me. But, that is one way in which I haven't changed; I don't care if a guy is lying to me as long as he is talking to me. I just want to see "Target" and all his emojis come up on my phone. It makes me feel good. And I don't worry about the lies and I don't agonize over whether he will ever love me, like I used to so. No downside for me. Lie to your heart's content, Target. Well. I guess that is kind of all for now. I'm not really all that interesting anymore. Sorry guys. Thanks for reading~

[coolpolarbear123]

BAND CAMP DAY 7

September 1st, 2017

Albus’ first year of Hogwarts--and my last Speaking of lasts, this is it, guys. The last band camp of my high school career.

10th GRADE BC POSTS (2015) | 11th GRADE BC POSTS (2016) 12th GRADE BC POSTS (2017) | COLLEGE: FIRST YEAR BC POSTS (2018) | COLLEGE: SECOND YEAR BC POSTS (2019) | ALL

Day 1 | Day 2 | Day 3 | Day 4 | Day 5 | Day 6

My 9th grade year, back in 2014, I did not have a tumblr. That’s one of the reasons those days weren’t recorded. The second was that there was no reason for me to. Why would I? I made new friends, I kept my old--just like that Girl Scout song about gold and silver circles (I should know--I’m still in Girl Scouts) And that band was the best thing of my freshman year. We had games every Friday night, we went to three competitions that year, all 60 people were the most family-like group I can remember. Practice Tuesday and Thursday until 4:30. Band was every day from 1:00-2:15. This was all in EST, of course. I have a lot of good memories from that time.

Of course, I moved, as you guys know. August 21st and 22nd of 2015. And because I moved here, I had to attend band camp here, naturally. So the July before we moved, I went to the band camp here. And it wasn’t the same. It was less strict, twice the size, not as family-like as I was told in an e-mail, and they only went to three or four games. No competitions. We didn’t march for the first days of band camp, and when we did, I was appalled. It was all Not Okay. I absolutely hated it. I went through that year pretty disgusted.

I needed a challenge--I told myself freshman year that being a drum major wasn’t for me. So there I was, as a drum major. 2016 band camp was year one of being a drum major, along with two very fun other guys (HDM and ODM). I was a nervous wreck, but it was better than 2015. Of course, marching and fundamentals were still not there.

Being a drum major was better than being on the field, so now it’s 2017, and I’m the “head” drum major. It was definitely different. The first year that I’ve known what I was doing, and it’s a very strange feeling. As long as I don’t pay attention to any of the marching--everything’s fine, right? Nah. This band will never live up to my old band for a multitude of reasons. I had so much more fun my freshman year, and it was so ordered because of how serious it was. This band will never be that serious--it wasn’t meant to be. No competitions, no away games. Not as many trips on the band bus, either, because of all of that.  So, look. I will always and forever have my old band in the limelight. I was angry from moving, and I’m still angry at times. I was disappointed my 10th grade year, and it carried to 12th. Maybe not as heavily since I’ve gotten more and more used to it, but I’m kind of stubborn sometimes. And annoying. But it’s the last day of my high school band camp, and let’s get into it.

This Morning:

I started the first BC post with the word “tonight,” so it’s only right that this one is “this morning.”

I mean, I could have put “tonight”

But I doubt 9AM is counted as “night.”

I get there early, as always, hang out at the front, look at the board, see that the order for our first marching game has changed, and question reality

I don’t even remember much of the beginning

X gets there, and I talk to FHF and probably my brother

And then we start

Y isn’t there, and we’re running through all of pregame, so X and I try dividing up Y’s songs. I’ll do Seven Nation Army, and he can do Illinois Loyalty, and then I’ll do Land of 1000

Of course, while we conduct our actual songs as well

Y comes in during that, though, so they got to conduct two of their songs while I did SNA

That’s a relief, though, because all three drum majors are good to have

We finish that up, and I, of course, have to conduct the SSB at the end. Not as good as that other time, that’s for sure.

Apparently a lot of fish don’t know what SSB stands for

My brother’s doing well, by the way

Honestly the first hour and a half wasn’t anything special

A little bit of sass and sarcasm here and there, but nothing remember-worthy, apparently

There was one song that we played and the band director tossed his drum stick (I think), fell off the drum set, caused the band to completely falter, and then HDM (yes, HDM) had to clap to the beat to get everyone back on track

It was interesting. And funny

I think it was Land of 1000--Y was conducting. I think.

I think the only person who really caught what happened was FHF because she had the biggest reaction

Though she’s loud so all of her reactions are fairly big

When X conducts, HDM makes faces at him, and it’s really fun to watch

But he doesn’t make faces at me so I think that’s Rude

But ODM will occasionally nod so it’s okay

Now we’re on break

Come back, more playing. Halftime show stuff

The drum line comes in and we do a tiny bit of pregame

SSB pt 2 wasn’t good

I blame everyone who wasn’t paying attention to me. No one was.

But that’s fun because then the entire band freaks out when I start counting off. And the band director did say “start whenever.”

I did that twice--by the way. Why call them to attention when you can watch everyone freak out instead?

OH, MY GODS

I FORGOT

So there’s this fish trumpet player, and he was wearing a blue shirt today

And I swear to the gods I can’t stand the dude

The band director said we’d be running through the entirety of pregame, so get all of the music you need beforehand.

This. Kid. Did. Not. He got up to get his music every time we switched songs. Excuse me? No. No. No.

That was disruptive--waiting for him every time

AND THEN HE WOULDN’T EVEN PLAY

He would sit there and maybe dab back and forth

I swear to the gods

Like, you--

--idiot

I asked my brother later on about the kid. Apparently the dude is incredibly smart, in all of the advanced classes, a fantastic trumpet player, etc

Are

You

Kidding

Me

I can’t stand whatever this Prodigy Kid™ is

That was pregame (the first 45 mins)

In the story, we’re in halftime (the second 45 mins)

This might end up being really out of order

We play I Just Can’t Wait to be King first, which, if you remember, is my song

For now

That was a bit of a surprise, but okay

I wasn’t on the podium for it. I was standing next to it with the band director on the podium

All of the drum majors had to do that

But I was the only one who didn’t have to start the band

Anyway, after we finish playing and the drum line is with us, we decide to teach the fish The Kick

This is a kick that we do in parades and the cue is a drum cadence called 1979 or something like that

So we teach the fish

I was on the podium while we taught them that (this was right after SSB pt 2 (after halftime rehearsal, before the halfway point of one and a half hours)

It was interesting watching them learn

I mean, I remember learning

I didn’t get it until our first parade

When someone in my grade was like, “It’s alright--you’ll know it after the parade.”

Yeah, I knew it after that parade

So, we teach them that, and then we head outside!

We decide not to do pregame drill today (yessss)

Drum Majors grab the sound system and the podium, we set up, and we stand on the sideline to figure out the salute

WE FIGURED IT OUT

I mean, a lot of messing around

And we literally high-five during it

But WE GOT IT X isn’t really the guy to have fun with Y and me, as I’m seeing

Then we watch the band because doing stuff isn’t fun

Watching people do stuff is

JUST KIDDING

Watching them wasn’t fun because their fundamentals aren’t anywhere near good, and I want to die

Oh, by the way, ODM and I nod at each other a lot. It’s fun

Eventually, we do “practice pregame” stuff. Nothing official, but it’s to get people kinda used to it. We do some of the moving and some of the run-on

The

Run-on

I ALMOST DIED

OKAY

I ALMOST DID

Basically, I have to run through the tubas and drum line, and the gaps weren’t big and Y and I had to switch places while running because of Things, and it’s going to be like that for the game

But I am not a runner

And running is not my forte

(get it)

and yeah

The band wasn’t that fast, though? We made it just fine. Nothing like last year.

We’ll see what happens when the year starts. 

Anyway, we do that stuff, and we do that stuff more than once

ouch

And then the band director with the mic (the other two don’t have mics and were judging from the sidelines. It’s funny) says to gather by the podium

Logically, he’s going to climb the podium

So I do

And then after a few minutes I’m told to get down

Of course

Y climbed with me

I got down, sat in the grass

There’s a “take a knee” campaign while the band director was talking

A handful of the band took a knee and no one else did

They tried, though

And then the band director wants us to learn a cheer

And the band votes for one of the percussionists to do it, and then for ODM to do it, so they do it together.

ONE BAND

ONE SOUND

x3

It’s not my favourite, but it works

I don’t even remember if my old band had a chant (That’s not good--that I don’t remember)

I think I just don’t like this one because it’s like “Hey this isn’t your old band.”

And then we went in

And got popsicles

Apparently “popsicle” is supposed to be capitalized?

I’m not going to

Before I forget: shouting is a thing

Anyway, those popsicles were really good

OH MAN

There was one point when the band was marching in a block, and us drum majors were sitting on the sidelines. During this block, the band would face us and march towards us until there were only feet away.

They also stopped facing us

Anyway, FHF messed up once, and she landed on her spot, but did a weird spin-thing in frustration and landed off her mark

To which I corrected her

I also made her get some of the sound stuff

Which made her lose her music

And then we “argued” about who was bossy

And she got her music back

And ODM was holding the band room door open, and when I walked in, HDM was like, “QUICK CLOSE IT ON THE DRUM MAJOR” Me: “RUDE” HDM, imitating me: “rOOd”

I have friends who spell that as “r00d”

that’s off track

Anyway, when we get to the band room, ODM and HDM have lockers really close together, so I went to them, put my arms on my shoulders and was like, “I miss you guys” “We miss you too--but you’re doing well” “Thanks! The run-on is really confusing, though” “So it’s when [this] happens, but don’t run right away. Wait a beat.” “You’re the leader. The band will follow the drum majors. Run whenever.” We then joked about running before the whistle

It was really nice conversation

Anyway, I think that’s it. I think that’s all.

I really hope I’m not forgetting anything

I’ll update if I think of anything--or if Y or FHF says something like “What about [this]?”

I usually do update it

But, yeah

It’s been fun, guys

Thank you for letting me rant

And thank you for reading

It’s been one heck of a ride

HERE’S THE DEAL GUYS. I am going into my senior (12th grade) year. This is my last year of grade school, and my last year of becoming disappointed by band camp. I do plan on continuing marching band in college, but as I am a flute player, I don’t know if I’ll be able to. It depends on where I go. I also play clarinet, but there’s no way of knowing if I’ll be good enough. I have this year to practice. I’m not one to get my hopes up, so this might be my last band camp post ever. Thank you guys so much for reading and experiencing this with me. I get absolutely no feedback whatsoever (well, now I get FHF, but besides her), so I don’t actually know what you guys think of this. It helps me and gives me something to look forward to. Thank you guys, so, so much. And if I am in marching band next year, I’ll tell you when I know. I love you guys. I miss my old band, my old friends. Just to say it one last time. Just know it’s true. I miss you guys.

[utaitesandart-blog]

Tagged again: learn about me!

92 TRUTHS TAG GAME rules: once you have been tagged you are supposed to write 92 truths about yourself. at the end, choose 25 people to tag! i was tagged by @flitwick-filius <333, and I tag @k-y-s-comics @frodobell @dani-the-flower-bab

@askthedarkgamer

LAST… [1] drink: alternating sips of water and iced tea


[2] phone call: don’t even remember 


[3] text message: My friend Ethan ✌🏽


[4] song you listened to: The Fritz by CRUISR


[5] time you cried: Monday or Tuesday this week

HAVE YOU EVER… [6] dated someone twice: Yup. It wasn’t horrible but it didn’t work either 


[7] been cheated on: Kind of. Like she told me to break up with her so she wouldn’t be cheating on me


[8] kissed someone and regretted it: yeah… it was non consensual and I felt like an ass later 


[9] lost someone special: probably, but my memory is shit rn 


[10] been depressed: very


[11] gotten drunk and thrown up: half drunk twice but not thrown up cause of it

LIST 3 FAVOURITE COLOURS… [12] dark purple


[13] white 


[14] glow in the dark green

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU… [15] made new friends: it would be tragic if I didn’t 


[16] fallen out of love: yuperooni


[17] laughed until you cried: yeah. But was I sad or happy?


[18] found out someone was talking about you: my shitty ass bullshit family


[19] met someone who changed you: um yeah! ❤️


[20] found out who your true friends are: kinda :)


[21] kissed someone on your facebook list: what Facebook list? I haven’t kissed anyone for a year or so

GENERAL… [22] how many of your facebook friends do you know in real life: most of them


[23] do you have any pets: one lovely cat


[24] do you want to change your name: Well legally I guess, I like my chosen name


[25] what did you do for your last birthday: haha man I don’t remember. Is that sad? 


[26] what time did you wake up: 9am?


[27] what were you doing at midnight last night: luckily, sleeping 


[28] name something you cannot wait for: not being in pain: physically and emotionally


[29] when was the last time you saw your mother: An hour? Maybe more? What is time?


[30] what is one thing you wish you could change about your life: my entire family background. Like if you took baby me and raised me somewhere completely different that would be cool 


[31] what are you listening to right now: kidnap me by CRUISR


[32] have you ever talked to a person named tom: Yeah that fucking shit my sister finally broke up with 


[33] something that is getting on your nerves: my rude ass sister


[34] most visited website: tumblr probably 


[35] elementary school: valley forge


[36] high school : conestoga


[37] college : no fucking clue


[38] hair colour: almost completely natural brown, for the first time in 3 years. Ew. 


[39] long or short hair: like every other gay dude I’ve got a sweet undercut 


[40] do you have a crush on someone: for once: no actually 


[41] what do you like about yourself?: I’m nice and friendly. I’m what you’d call an ambassador


[42] piercings: lip piercing in the corner. I’ve got a regular right ear piercing and 2g gauge in my left ear. 


[43] blood type: they wouldn’t let me give blood when I tried 


[44] nickname: Charlie


[45] relationship status: single and hopelessly romantic


[46] zodiac sign: libra


[48] fav tv show: Brooklyn 99


[49] tattoos: one day I’ll get one on the back of my hand that says “not today” 
[50] right or left handed: right

FIRST… [51] surgery: never 


[52] piercing: ears, when I was a baby


[53] best friend: Aleen


[54] sport: Field Hockey. How gay. 


[55] vacation: California!!


[56] pair of trainers: who knows, I had baby feet

RIGHT NOW… [57] eating: nothing


[58] drinking: just drank too much water 


[59] i’m about to: probably throw that water up. My stomach can’t hold anything in rn 


[60] listening to: people mow the lawn and fix my floors 


[61] waiting for: barfing or death. What is my body doing? 


[62] want: to feel calm and good 


[63] get married: maybe? Idk. Who knows 


[64] career: chef, dude. People gotta eat.

WHICH IS BETTER… [65] hugs or kisses: hugs, I don’t quite understand kisses. They’re more of a sensual thing. 


[66] lips or eyes: eyes, but when you’ve got cute lips god damn 


[67] shorter or taller: taller. Dude I’m 5"


[68] older or younger: older but not by much. Like I’d go 2 yrs older or 1 - 1 ½ yrs younger. 


[69] romantic or spontaneous: depends on how I’m feeling. If they’re hot and into me then sure why not. 


[70] nice arms or nice stomach: arms. Muscles turn me on 


[71] sensitive or loud: sensitive. We got that sensory overload. 


[72] hook up or relationship: relationship


[73] troublemaker or hesitant: hesitant. But I am spontaneous, brave, and ballsy, I’ve been told.

HAVE YOU EVER… [74] kissed a stranger?: KISSIN STRANGERS NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA. dude when I’m desperate I wait around for a hot stranger but no not yet. 


[75] drank hard liquor?: nah 


[76] lost glasses/contact lenses?: holy crap. How to NOT lose your glasses please? 


[77] turned someone down: actually- only in online dating but it was more low key 


[78] sex on first date?: how about sex never? Thanks 


[79] broken someone’s heart?: Yeah…


[80] had your own heart broken?: yup!


[81] been arrested?: no but isn’t trying to kill yourself illegal..? 


[82] cried when someone died?: no- I don’t understand death 


[83] fallen for a friend: yeah but mostly just in an infatuation sense. It can make you fall in love with anyone when you’re desperate

DO YOU BELIEVE IN…

[84] yourself? Dude idk. Depends on the day. Is it a manic day or a mania day? 


[85] miracles? None have happened yet so nope 


[86] love at fist sight? I mean yes? Idk man, who knows? 


[87] santa claus? nah


[88] kiss on the first date? Depends on how much romantic tension you’re both feeling 


[89] angles? Not Christian, babe

OTHER… [90] current best friends name: My dude Corbyn ✌🏽✌🏽👌🏽👌🏽


[91] eye colour: brown


[92] favourite movie: idk I’m literally so spontaneous

[kurrentkorruption]

I CAN’T BELIEVE I SAW EXO AND BSB IN THE SAME WEEK

I mentioned a while ago that I was going to see EXO in LA, and I am finally home and rested enough to actually detail my boy band vacation. I didn’t just see EXO - I also went to Las Vegas to see the Backstreet Boys at the Axis Theater in Planet Hollywood. I’m putting this on this blog because this is a story of kpop... eventually. Anyway, behind the cut is the full of it.

My tale actually starts on Sunday, April 23rd, when I woke up with part of my rear upper-right molar being inexplicably gone. It was there when I went to bed, and when I woke up, it was gone. It was gone between the gum line and the middle of the tooth, working transversely from the dorsal portion of the tooth to the ventral side. The enamel and a good amount of the dentine was missing, but thankfully the pulp was in tact, leaving the nerves unexposed. However, it but my breakfast short, because upon noticing that my tooth was missing a chunk of it, I stopped eating and immediately had to find an emergency dentist, because no normal dentist is going to be open at 9am on a Sunday. Anyway, six hours and two fillings later (my initial filling fell out not 15 minutes after it had been placed, so I had to get a revision), my tooth was finally okay. This wasn’t really how I wanted to start my boy band week, especially since it meant that I had to be careful with everything that I ate from that point on. (I stopped being careful the more that fatigue and sleep deprivation settled in.)

The next day, I dropped off my dog at the dogsitter and obtained money and made final preparations for the trip. The dogsitter is on the other side of the city. She’s a coworker and she’s really nice. Anyway, Walter the Yorkie got to spend time with his chocolate lab friend named Paige. He was tuckered out when I picked him up yesterday, so I know he had fun!

After dropping the little dog off with the dogsitter, I got a message from my brother saying that we were going to be taking a different flight to Las Vegas on Tuesday. What I haven’t mentioned yet is that we (my family and myself) fly on stand-by because my mother used to work for United; we have flight benefits, but calling them a benefit is a stretch when it really means that we almost never get to go on the flights that we want. In fact, our history with getting seats on planes is so terrible that in order for me (and my dad) to get to Los Angeles from Las Vegas in time for the EXO concert, we had to buy an actual seat on a a different airline in order to ensure that I wouldn’t be late for the concert. What the message from my twin brother meant was that our early morning flight wasn’t looking good for seats that we could obtain, so we needed to go on a different flight. This meant one good thing, however: I could sleep in on Tuesday.

Tuesday arrived and my brother and I got hot dogs for lunch then drove to the Indianapolis airport. The rest of the day was us being trapped in Houston because every flight was overbooked. We didn’t get out of Houston until after 10pm, arriving in Las Vegas very late Tuesday night/early Wednesday morning. The whole reason we were going to Las Vegas in the first place wasn’t even for me to see BSB, but because it was my dad’s birthday. BSB was something we were planning after planning to go to LV for his birthday. His birthday was Tuesday. His entire 60th birthday was him being on planes and trapped in airports. I felt really bad for him. :(

Wednesday was the day of the BSB concert. I haven’t mentioned this yet, but three weeks prior to us going on this vacation, my mother fell in the shower and broke her back. More specifically, she fractured 4 ribs on her left side and had a compression fracture at the T12 level. She’s been in pain for weeks. Because of this, we ended up letting her stay at the hotel on Wednesday while my dad, my brother, and I walked along the Strip and tried our best to figure out the most convenient and simple way for me and my mom to get to and from the BSB concert without my mom injuring herself further or becoming too worn out. Ever since I was little, my mom has come with me to every BSB concert I have ever gone to. She loves BSB just as much as I do; before she broke her back, the BSB concert tickets were a birthday gift for me from her. She didn’t know she was going to injure herself like that. It was meant to be a mother-daughter bonding time while my brother and dad bonded in the casinos.

We eventually found a simple enough route to take so that mom wouldn’t be in too much pain, and we headed back to the hotel. My dad hadn’t anticipated mom’s injury, so we stayed two blocks off the Strip, which made everything Very Difficult. We ended up buying bus passes to mitigate some of the long stretches that would exacerbate my mom’s pain reactions. It’s not like she doesn’t have medication, but she was prescribed opiates and we all fear that she’ll become addicted if she takes too many. The drugs that aren’t opiates do very little to help her pain, so we have to be careful so that her pain doesn’t flare up enough to necessitate taking the opiates.

That night, we all did our long journey to Planet Hollywood, coursing through casinos and hotels, stopping every few minutes to let my mom rest, before we arrived at the Miracle Mile Mall and the Axis Theater. We had eaten dinner as a family and parted abruptly as a heaving throng of women lined up to see their idols. We were shoved into a line and ushered quickly into the theater, we bought some merch (I bought a cute grey-and-purple raglan for myself and bought my mom a black t-shirt) and made it to our seats with time to spare.

The concert was SO INCREDIBLY GOOD!! It started with a beautiful VCR compilation of clips going chronologically from BSB’s beginnings to now, with remixes of all of their popular songs woven together. It was wonderful! Then the concert started and the boys came down from the ceiling in light-up boxes with images of their faces on them and they sang Larger Than Life! They danced as strongly as they did when I first say them when I was a young teenager, doing moves that I thought were only reserved for the most hardcore of modern kpop groups. Their choreography is so tight that you can’t even tell that they’re middle aged! (I dare say that their dancing was even more slick than EXO’s, and Howie was dancing with an injured knee!) All in all, I was incredibly impressed and enjoyed every single minute of it! My poor mom had to sit down a lot through it, which was okay during the VCR and ment portions. The only complaint was that there were two tall men in front of us that impeded our views a lot of the time; also, there were two incredibly drunk people in the row in front of us who were bothering EVERYONE around them. Other than that, it was a fantastic show!

The next day, we were tired. Not from the concert, but from dad barging into the room at 3am to tell us some ridiculous story despite how we all wanted to just go to sleep. In the morning, he insisted that it was mom who wanted him to tell the story and keep us all awake, but as we were ALL AWAKE, we told him that he never gave us the option of hearing the story in the morning because he just went into in without regard for our sleep cycles. He later said that he regretted that entire night.

(I’m not telling this from my dad’s perspective because he makes it far more innocent that what context clues would actually tell you. The story was that he, being far too nice of a person, basically intervened in what was going to be some lady and some dude going to a hotel on the strip to have a one-night stand. The lady had never gone to the Strip before and the dude who was big-time flirting with her was offering to take her to the Strip and see some of the big hotels and then they could eat and stay at one of them overnight. My dad barged in and wanted to tag along since he was on a machine near them. The dude didn’t want my dad to go, and the lady didn’t seem too keen on dad coming either, but he tagged along. The dude ended up leaving halfway through their expedition after realizing that the lady was no longer wanting to have sex with him, they got into an argument, and the dude left the lady with his food bill, as they were eating at some restaurant in Bally’s, I think? It’s all very confusing. Anyway, so the lady is pissed because now she’s stuck away from her hotel with my dad, so dad foot’s the bill for the lady and the dude who stiffed them, and they return to our shitty hotel two blocks from the Strip. Then dad comes back to our room to tell us this story. He’s clearly drunk and had apparently lost $100 in the casino before he even gone on his weird little journey, so we all just wanted him to go to bed and shut up, but no, he does the opposite. Because he’s drunk. From that point forward, I get no more sleep until Saturday night.)

My dad is a gambler, so my brother and I have been going to Las Vegas with our family since we were 7 years old. However, in all of that time, I had never gone to Fremont Street. I knew it existed, but it never actually interested me. So my dad got the idea that we’ll just let mom rest while we all trekked up north to Fremont Street, just so I could say that I visited it. It was a long bus ride to Fremont Street and it wasn’t even that cool. Granted, it was the middle of the day and all the lights come on at night, but it looked seedy. I’m used to seeing the panhandlers and homeless people on the Strip, but there were even more on Fremont Street, which is a smaller and more condensed area of space. It’s barely two blocks and it was filled with them. We spent about half an hour there, most of that time being dedicated to all of us going to the bathroom at one of the hotels. The only good that came of it was that while I was waiting for my twin to come out of the bathroom, I won $20 off one of the machines.

That evening, my twin brother being the awesome brother that he is, obtained tickets to see the Cirque du Soleil show O at the Bellagio. He bought three tickets, one for me, our mom, and himself. Dad gambled while we were watching the show. We chose that show because it was short and would get us back to the hotel in time to sleep before we all caught planes in the early morning. O is a beautiful show and I highly recommend it! Honestly, every Cirque du Soleil show that I’ve seen in Las Vegas has been really good, so go and see all of them; they’re all different and wonderful!

The next day, Friday morning AKA the day of the EXO’rDIUM concert, we all woke up at 2am so we could get ready to leave the hotel at 3:30am so we could catch our planes at 5:30am. Mom and my brother were going to Florida (my parents live in Florida because they are retired), mainly so that my brother could help my mom with her luggage due to her back injury. Dad and I caught a plane to LAX so that I could go to see EXO. I told you this would eventually lead to kpop. By 8am we were safely in LA and had acquired a car and we lived in that car all day. We set up shop in the parking lot of a CVS that was near the EXO-L Fan Cafe in LA. We ate Mexican food for every meal and did our best to just relax. It was hard. I was monitoring where to obtain pre-ordered fangoods and basically using the Fan Cafe as a glorified bathroom. I had arrived too early and they stamped my hand, which meant that I could freely enter and exit the cafe as often as I wanted. Since I had no access to a house or a hotel, it was the next best thing. I napped for maybe a max of 2 hours before the concert, excluding the half hour nap I took on the plane. My last meal was at 5pm and I wouldn’t eat again until 1pm Sunday afternoon, nearly 44 hours after my last meal on the day of the concert. At this point, I had gotten maybe 8 hours of sleep within the last three days, so this day was going to be hell. I was afraid that I would be too tired to fully enjoy the concert.

This fear was unfounded. Yes, I was INCREDIBLY TIRED, but I still enjoyed the concert. In fact, my only issue was with how poorly managed everything was up until the boys came out on stage. MMT is a terrible company and should really stop managing EXO when they come over here. The Fan Cafe was also poorly managed, but I think that was mainly because they were understaffed volunteers who had obtained a venue that was far too small for the crowd that visited it. I was grateful to have the stamp on my hand, otherwise I would have been standing in a big, long line forever. I even got to eat some of the cake they had made up for Baekhyun’s birthday! However, they ran out of water quickly and they had no other food beyond the cake and some cupcakes. But, again, those were volunteers. What was happening at the actual Forum was a mess that an actual management company had created. I had a seat, so I wasn’t deeply involved in the mess on the ground, but from what I heard from fellow concert goers, it was stupid. Plus, fans in GA kept rushing the stage so much that Suho had to chastise them THREE TIMES. It was so dumb.

The concert itself, though, was AWESOME!! I own the EXO’rDIUM in Japan DVD, so I had already seen most of the show and knew what was coming, but it didn’t spoil anything. Suho’s English was REALLY GOOD! Minseok, my man, he was out there killing fangirls left and right! My only complaint there is that no one ever really cheered for him when he was highlighted. :< Chanyeol and Sehun got most of the cheering, followed closely by Kai and Baekhyun. Meanwhile, no one else got as much noise from the audience. I tried my hardest to scream Xiumin’s name really loudly, since I was in the second row near the center, but I don’t know if he heard me. I was really tired and didn’t even know if my voice was working at that point. (I had screamed a whole lot at the BSB concert to the point where by voice was nearly gone on Thursday, so I wasn’t really recovered enough to take on screaming Xiumin’s name all Friday night.) Minseok was really energetic, too, even though he was clearly exhausted from having just come in from Mexico. He was putting his all into Artificial Love and White Noise, and being extra cute the rest of the time, waving his arms and body around like he wasn’t tired at all (even though it was evident in his face). They were all really tired. Kai even said that he was tired but putting all of his energy into making the show great, and he really did! As I’ve said before, I like Kai a lot but I don’t really broadcast it, and seeing him live definitely solidified that love for me. He was so sexy and slick up on that stage! At one point, D.O. started singing a song from La La Land and Suho did a little of the tap dance from it, and later on Baekhyun sang a crooner classic. It was very nice! Everyone did their best with English and Suho promised to bring their next concert here! I’m sure you can find a lot of fan accounts of such things, like how Suho said they needed to be careful about the pronunciation of the word “beaches” and how D.O. expressed a fondness for hotdogs and Chanyeol being “crazy” near the end of the concert and the whole “tiny hands and foot” thing. Some of it was a little too LA-centric for a Midwest girl like myself to understand, but they were so cute that I didn’t really care!

After the concert, I found my dad and we drove off to drop the car off at the rental place then book it to LAX so we would catch a 1am flight to Houston. Our plans changed the moment we got there, as our flight was overbooked and there was no way we were going to get on the plane. Thankfully, there was a nearby midnight flight to Chicago that had a few seats left, so we convinced the desk staff to let us on and we got on just as the doors were closing. I slept the whole flight to O’Hare. We arrived at about 9am and rushed to our connection that would take us back to Indy. We finally arrived at the Hoosier State by around 10am. We rested while waiting for my brother to return from Florida. He finally showed up around 2pm, and by that point dad and I had eaten some nachos from the Qdoba in the airport food court and that was it. After we met up with my brother, AKA the guy whose car I had come to the airport in on Tuesday, we drove back to my house and I hit my bed hard by 4pm.

I slept until noon-ish on Sunday, I finally ate food by 1pm, and picked up Walter from the dogsitter by 2pm. I haven’t left the house since. I’m so glad that I took today off. I was still tired and achy yesterday. All in all, it was a good trip, even if it was extremely tiring.

[shadowinacorner]

Bored, so why not!

Lets see if I can answer these. 1: Name Mandy

2: Age 26

3: 3 Fears Spiders Burning alive Bungee jumping

4: 3 things I love Food Accomplishing something productive Sleep

5: 4 turns on Assertiveness Kindness Sense of humor Forwardness

6: 4 turns off Rudeness Narcissism Bad habits Excessive negativity

7: My best friend My buddy Allison

8: Sexual orientation Not big on labels. Bi I guess is a good umbrella term.

9: My best first date Winter formal in ‘05

10: How tall am I I’d say 5'10. I think I technically have been deemed to be 5'7 though.

11: What do I miss Being taken care of as a kid.

12: What time was I born 9am ish I think?

13: Favourite color Purple or black

14: Do I have a crush He’s pretty cute

15: Favourite quote The bird on your shoulder quote from tuesdays with maurie

16: Favourite place My living room (don’t you judge me)

17: Favourite food Pizza

18: Do I use sarcasm Never, who would do such a thing?

19: What am I listening to right now Assasination Classroom

20: First thing I notice in new person Jewelry

21: Shoe size 10.5/11 womens or 9 mens

22: Eye color Brown

23: Hair color Brown. I change it alot and right now it’s got some pink.

24: Favourite style of clothing Modern kinda urbany or punky I guess?

25: Ever done a prank call? Nah. Not my style.

27: Meaning behind my URL Nothing deep

28: Favourite movie Harry Potter I guess

29: Favourite song To the moon and back by Savage Garden

30: Favourite band I couldn’t tell you honestly. I like too many.

31: How I feel right now Tired and unaccomplished

32: Someone I love Mr. Leo Bunny

33: My current relationship status Married

34: My relationship with my parents Strained and unconventional

35: Favourite holiday Christmas

36: Tattoos and piercing i have I have 2 piercings in each ear and 1 cartilage. Also a small tattoo on my upper back.

37: Tattoos and piercing i want I always wanted a eyebrow piercing and the really dainty bullrings are cool. I’d also love to have full sleeves of tattoos but I’ll probably never get another of either.

38: The reason I joined Tumblr My hubby got obsessed with it.

39: Do I and my last ex hate each other? Nah, he’s a cool dude and finally forgave me for being a terrible child when I was with him.

40: Do I ever get “good morning” or “good night ” texts? Definitely always get good morning ones since we get up at different times.

41: Have I ever kissed the last person you texted? Definitely not. Keagan is probably onr of the few I haven’t actually.

42: When did I last hold hands? Last time Marku and I went to the store I’m sure.

43: How long does it take me to get ready in the morning? No makeup: 5 minutes from bed to car. With basic full makeup a solid half hour. With going out makeup and clothes like 2 hours.

44: Have You shaved your legs in the past three days? Yes! Actually.

45: Where am I right now? Laying in Marku’s bed

46: If I were drunk & can’t stand, who’s taking care of me? Definitely Marku. He usually camps in the bathtub and sets me up on the floor by the toilet.

47: Do I like my music loud or at a reasonable level? Too loud. Always.

48: Do I live with my Mom and Dad? Nopppeeeeee

49: Am I excited for anything? Someday we’re going to travel!

50: Do I have someone of the opposite sex I can tell everything to? Definitely Marku.

51: How often do I wear a fake smile? Everyyyy dayyyyy. Customer service at it’s finest.

52: When was the last time I hugged someone? Earlier today I hugged Keagan, Angie, AND Mark. So many hugs!

53: What if the last person I kissed was kissing someone else right in front of me? He might have some ‘splanin to do

54: Is there anyone I trust even though I should not? Hmm, yeah probably a couple family members.

55: What is something I disliked about today? I woke up late and didn’t accomplish much

56: If I could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be? I have no idea… maybe bernie?

57: What do I think about most? What I’m doing wrong

58: What’s my strangest talent? Noticing small details (but only when I’m trying. Otherwise I’m oblivious to my surroundings)

59: Do I have any strange phobias? Chalkboards. They freak me out and I can’t touch them.

60: Do I prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it? Behind!!!

61: What was the last lie I told? “You don’t have to do that, I can pay for it”

62: Do I perfer talking on the phone or video chatting online? Neither. But phone if it’s between the too.

63: Do I believe in ghosts? How about aliens? I half believe in ghosts, aliens seem probable but not little green guys.

64: Do I believe in magic? I wishhhhhhh

65: Do I believe in luck? Kinda actually.

66: What’s the weather like right now? Kinda nice actually! Wet but mild.

67: What was the last book I’ve read? Kane chronicals

68: Do I like the smell of gasoline? Mildly

69: Do I have any nicknames? Mandoo

70: What was the worst injury I’ve ever had? I accidentally cut a large chunk out of my ankle when i was a teenager… otherwise no broken bones or anything.

71: Do I spend money or save it? I have a spending problem.

72: Can I touch my nose with a tounge? No :(

73: Is there anything pink in 10 feets from me? My pj pants

74: Favourite animal? Kitties!

75: What was I doing last night at 12 AM? Playing on my phone and watching netflix

76: What do I think is Satan’s last name is? I think Satan /is/ his last name lol

77: What’s a song that always makes me happy when I hear it? Uh… something pop-y I’m sure.

78: How can you win my heart? Food.

79: What would I want to be written on my tombstone? That I was super nice!

80: What is my favorite word? Totes

81: My top 5 blogs on tumblr That I posted? None. I have like no followers that aren’t porn bots.

82: If the whole world was listening to me right now, what would I say? Let’s just all get along

83: Do I have any relatives in jail? Not currently

84: I accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow me with the super-power of my choice! What is that power? Shapeshifting

85: What would be a question I’d be afraid to tell the truth on? Depends on who is asking it.

86: What is my current desktop picture? The inside of a midevilish zeldaish tent with a woman lying in the bed.

87: Had sex? Yeap

88: Bought condoms? Yeah. Still awkward no matter how old you get for some reason.

89: Gotten pregnant? Nope

90: Failed a class? Yeah

91: Kissed a boy? A few

92: Kissed a girl? A few

93: Have I ever kissed somebody in the rain? Not dramatically

94: Had job? For years

95: Left the house without my wallet? Just yesterday

96: Bullied someone on the internet? Nah, not my jam.

97: Had sex in public? Nah

98: Played on a sports team? Plenty of them

99: Smoked weed? Nope, not on my list

100: Did drugs? Never have, never will

101: Smoked cigarettes? Nope, terrible habbit

102: Drank alcohol? On occasion

103: Am I a vegetarian/vegan? Not anymore

104: Been overweight? I am morbidly obese technically atm

105: Been underweight? Once

106: Been to a wedding? A few

107: Been on the computer for 5 hours straight? Jesus, is that suppose to be a long time?

108: Watched TV for 5 hours straight? Every weekend

109: Been outside my home country? Nope

110: Gotten my heart broken? Once

111: Been to a professional sports game? Big leagues, no. Minor, yea.

112: Broken a bone? Nope

113: Cut myself? Yea

114: Been to prom? Yeap, twice

115: Been in airplane? Twice

116: Fly by helicopter? Once

117: What concerts have I been to? Hinder, buckcherry, paproach, death cab for cutie

118: Had a crush on someone of the same sex? Yea

119: Learned another language? Started japanese, never went very far

120: Wore make up? Pretty normally

121: Lost my virginity before I was 18? At 18 I think

122: Had oral sex? Yea

123: Dyed my hair? Alot

124: Voted in a presidential election? Every year

125: Rode in an ambulance? Sat in one, refused the ride

126: Had a surgery? Just wisdom teeth

127: Met someone famous? Voice actors, and there was a famous guy staying at our wedding hotel that I rode the elevator with. I always forget his name.

128: Stalked someone on a social network? Mildly

129: Peed outside? Ya, camping

130: Been fishing? Mmhm

131: Helped with charity? I actually don’t think so. I’ve donated before.

132: Been rejected by a crush? Never got myself to be in the position to be rejected

133: Broken a mirror? Yeahhh

134: What do I want for your birthday? Yummy food

135: How many kids do I want and what will be their names? 1-3 & no clue

136: Was I named after anyone? A barry manilow song

137: Do I like my handwriting? No i hate it

138: What was my favourite toy as a child? Barbies

139: Favourite Tv Show? I don’t have any active shows atm

140: Where do I want to live when older? Back in my family home

141: Play any musical instrument? I’m not musically inclined in any way

142: One of my scars, how did I get it? Have an L on my finger from slaming and locking my finger in the car door as a kid. I was stuck there for a while.

143: Favourite pizza toping? Sausage

144: Am I afraid of the dark? Nah

145: Am I afraid of heights? A little

146: Have I ever got caught sneaking out or doing anything bad? Nope

147: Have I ever tried my hardest and then gotten disappointed in the end? Plentybof times

148: What I’m really bad at Doing anything consistently

149: What my greatest achievments are Graduating college

150: The meanest thing somebody has ever said to me There would be a list.

151: What I’d do if I won in a lottery Buy out my family home, remodel, set up my inlaws and grandma for life, get a working car, change jobs, and if I had enough I’d set up my parents and college funds too.

152: What do I like about myself My hair

153: My closest Tumblr friend I have some of my best friends irl on here

154: Something I fantasise about Being a normal person

This is way too long. I’m not tagging anyone and bringing this onto them. Yeesh.

[trainwreck07-blog]

What could go wrong went wrong

I really don’t know where I should start; I decided that I was going to start to log my experiences trying to reconnect with my wife. It turned sour and has transformed into me logging my wife slowly leaving. And at this point I really can’t say that she is slowly leaving me, because the more I dig into the lie the more I learn the speed she is heading, and holy crap nuggets it’s fast. My normal medium of expression is through visual art, but it would be hard for me express all these emotions I have right now. I am currently stuck in a haze of anger, sadness, fear, betrayal and absolute heartbreak not knowing which way is up or down. One reason I wanted to write this, is I have no one to talk to. I know some people here but it’s all her people, her family, her friends and I’m extremely lonely. We recently moved to Michigan to be closer to her family leaving everything I’ve known for the past 27yrs, the town I grew up in, and friends I made in middle school through college and into my adult life. I was ok with moving because I love her so much. I figured if we moved to her hometown maybe, just maybe, that would make her happy again, which I hoped would make me happy again. I still remember the first time she walked through the door of the restaurant I bartended at, she was beautiful and still is. It was great, late nights kicking back brews, talking till the sun came up. There was never enough time. It was new and fun and we always touched and laughed. She had only one child at the time and I came to love that girl as if my own. We began building family from miracles, one after another till we had three fantastic kids. I wish I could say that it’s always been perfect, it hasn’t, and she’s as mean as a rabid junkyard dog sometimes. Three great kids, the best job I’ve ever had, and a new life in an unknown world for me, it started out good. We’ve been in Michigan now for just under two years and I guess being home has finally gotten to her. We haven’t been on a date since we moved here; I haven’t been intimate with my wife in years at this point. Recently she has been going out with her friends quite frequently, and posting some pretty inappropriate behavior and then removing them after she thinks about it a little. She used to rag on my sister-in-law for doing that kind of stuff before we found out she was cheating on my brother. Over the past few months she’s just been acting odd, and we have always had the passwords for everything out in the open, no secrets and nothing to hide. I’ve always been fine with that cause she has always been my world. But my world crashed down on me last Tuesday. Now I guess it’s time to get us to that day. But we will start before her trip to meet her brother for the first time in 30+ years. We have been saving and taking loans to help her get to her brothers retirement party for a while now, we even sacrificed cable and Wi-Fi. No problem, it was for a good cause. She was running around the night before she left in a pretty good mood, constantly messaging a “Friend” of hers that works at the airport. Ignoring me and the children, so caught up in her messaging, she didn’t realize the smiles and lip bites she gave her phone that I happened to notice. I tried to get on her messenger and surprise, she changed her password. I wasn’t going to kick to much a fuss just before she was set to leave, so I asked her for it, and she gave it to me. I didn’t even try to look in it, just kept it in for later. Maybe go in and write a huge post of how much I miss my husband, or some funny meme she would laugh at. That’s what most of our “hacks” consisted of. So the next morning I drop her off at the airport 2hrs away at 6am, so getting up that early was hell. Drop her off, go home with the kids and cook breakfast. I try to text and call her a few times and no response, hmm odd, I noticed she’s all over Facebook but won’t answer calls or texts. I figured I would try her messenger, well damn, password changed again! So that’s just straight messed up at this point. I still try not to kick a huge fuss (she would have my rear if I did this by the way) but I was pissed and texted her asking why she changed it and what her new password was…… the kids and I didn’t talk to her for 5 days! I had children crying on my lap asking why mommy won’t answer the phone or call us back. I have no way to answer that; I wish I did at that point. I did leave her alone for the first couple of days until it hit a disrespectful wall of “she is straight ignoring me and our children” I started the calls on day 3. No answer except one, she was going into a restaurant at 9am, she said she would call us back and nothing for two more days. The day she was headed to the airport I still hadn’t talked to her and had no clue what time she was coming in. I knew there were two flights into the airport from Missouri. 5pm and 8pm, I was ready to show up and hang till she got there. She finally calls me on her way to the airport to tell me her girlfriend Rachel was picking her up. A slight relief to not have to sit in Detroit traffic any longer than I have too, but I was mad as hell but still happy she was coming home. When she got in she refused to hug or kiss me and then proceeded to tell me how tired she was and she went to bed. I stayed up with the kids even though I had to work the next morning, I had told them I would likely be late seeing as though I figured she would be home late we would talk and hang for a bit. The next morning I got up, got the kids situated, and went up to say by to the wife and let her know the kids were wide awake and destroying the house. Her phone had just stopped ringing and I picked it up and she had changed her passcode for her phone….. that has been the same 4 digit pin for as long as I can remember, the bigger kids could get in and play games if they wanted, but something has changed. She shoots out of a dead sleep with the look of sheer terror and fear on her face, snatched the phone out of my hands. I at that moment knew my wife was headed out the house with one foot out the door. I asked for her password and her reply was “I would rather a divorce!” so I knew there was something she was hiding. Nobody goes through that much security and password changes unless you are hiding something, right? I had to go to work because I already took three of my five vacation days so she could go and I didn’t have any money. Work was rough, could not stop thinking about what could be in there, but whatever it was it is likely to destroy my marriage. Took me a few days to get a battle plan and figure out what I needed to do. Every time I would ask about that she would say that she was tired of being controlled, which is hilarious cause I am so laid back its not even funny and she has control issues. What was on that damn phone? I was on a mission at that point, I would figure out what is going on.so I chilled and let her go do her thing and get marriage advise from a woman who sleeps with married guys. I finally got smart and started going through phone call and text logs, everything was normal except one number. She has a small group she deals with, so it was easy to figure out who is who. I knew a majority of the numbers because I have them too, except the one that starts at 7:34AM the morning I dropped her off at the airport and continued from March 30th to April 5th when there seemed to be a break. I had a feeling based on it being a Detroit number, I knew who it was. Do I think she cheated on me? No, but when you start hiding things from your husband you say you love, it definitely becomes shady. I truly think it started out innocent and somethings must have been traded that made her feel the need to hide it all and become extremely defensive if any of it was brought up. I hadn’t mentioned too much about it, I figured I would wait and see what happens. I asked who was the dude she talked to, and I always got a “There is NO FUCKING DUDE!” so I sat back and waited. On April 10th right after I made dinner and fed my family she sat on the couch and was just texting away, I requested the text log and found that she had been sitting on our couch texting him again. Which I can say he at this point, because I called the number blocked and a guys with a super deep voice answered. I can’t lie, I kind of lost my mind and asked who she was talking to? She tells me it was her girlfriend, but I see the log and the log don’t lie. I yell about her lying to me and she gets mad when I call him again and leave a voice mail. she denied it for a couple days until I found his name attached to the number, and I was right on who it was, and texted her a screen shot of it all. She isn’t the type to sit and talk so as of me writing this she is mad at me for looking up the call and text logs. She’s embarrassed I would think, but her being backed into a lie brings the claws out. There is so much more that I will be getting off my chest so ……… any feedback will be taken graciously. #wife #husband #losingher #love #hurt #shewantstobesingle #goodman #help #advice