#dude what had you so insecure that you started bitching about pennies?

[texanredrose]

Y’all wanna hear a dumb story?

So over a decade ago, I worked at a fast food joint that was running a special that came out to $5.01. I worked in Texas which, while that might be obvious from other factors, is also somewhat relevant to this story. I was the assistant manager at the time and the only manager on duty. This was also when I was a bit more country than I am now and spent time out on farms and ranches semi-regularly.

So this guy comes in one night. It was fairly slow, I think he was the only customer we had during his entire stay, and I took his order. He gets the special. I ring him up and tell him the total. He then proceeds to flip his shit.

You see, he didn’t want to pay $5.01 for the special. He wanted to pay $5. Now, previously, we’d had a $5 special, and people sometimes got confused on which special was currently running, so upon the second time informing him that his total was, in fact, $5.01, he became extremely agitated.

“Did you know New Zealand doesn’t have pennies? They’re utterly useless! They’re a burden on the economy! We shouldn’t have them!”

Again, I will remind you, this took place in Texas. Which is in America. Where we do have pennies. And he was American.

Now... I’d seen my fair share of shit over the years working at this place. I worked almost exclusively night shift. Anyone who’s worked night shift anywhere can tell you that shit that just wouldn’t happen when the sun’s up happens all the time once it goes down. People lose their damn minds once it gets dark out. 

So, I began treating this dude like a wild animal. He wanted to go feral over a penny? Fine. I’m going to react appropriately.

Rang him up. Took his $5. Never turned my back to him. Had my employees stay as far as possible while keeping their eyes on him. Watched him. The whole time.

Right about the time his sandwich was done, I could tell he was big time regretting his outburst. Sure, he won the financial victory, but at what cost? He changed his order from dining in to to-go.

I did not relent. Placed his bag on the counter and stepped back. Watched him take it and retreat to his car. I went to the side of the lobby designated for employee breaks (which is where he just happened to park, lucky me) and took my break. Sat there and drank my sweet tea, and stared him down, my back against the wall. Not the right way to sit, as it was a booth. Didn’t care.

He considered coming inside to throw away his trash or simply dumping it outside his window. I was still staring at him. He decided against it.

Never saw that guy again.

The funny thing is, a few customers prior, a drive thru customer was short, so I’d already put a buck in the till out of my own pocket to cover it. I couldn’t give a shit about the till or if the dude had a penny; I was more upset that he thought bitching at me about the US Treasury was an appropriate response.

Years later, I went to Germany and learned the Euro has 1 cent and 2 cent denominations and had a fucking giggle fit over it.

[bisluthq]

i totally agree w the myspace posts being most likely homophobic jokes and 00s popular girls being girls~ but i always thought taylor was /that/ girl that enjoyed it a biiit too much and acted like making out with girls was only a joke for the boys attention. like until last year, i wasn't even a swiftie, pretty much never payed much attention to her, her music wasn't really up my alley but i did pay attention to pop culture and since like 2015? i've been saying taylor was gay just purely based on that vibe of closeted popular girl jsjfjsjdjdj like i Do get that you were saying we shouldn't take them as proof cause most definitely that wasn't the intention but i feel like taylor was always the one who took it a bit too far

Yeah look I mean I’ve shared my HS experiences before but I often get new followers so let’s go again. I was VERY gay and VERY closeted in high school. I was ~gayer~ in middle school because I didn’t know I was right so like I fully had a crush on a girl and was obsessed with her and I didn’t call it that in my head because I didn’t know I was gay and I had like a little love interest who was probably gay too who used to try hold my hand in school and I didn’t let her but I’d let her do it when we had sleepovers and we’d cuddle and stuff but she wasn’t allowed to tell my crush/“friend” we even had the sleepover because I was a weird kid and sometimes I start saying this stuff and I’m like maybe I *am* poly lol and maybe that’s something I need to figure out but ANYWAY.

Then Thirteen came out as bi on my TV and the penny dropped and I was like “fuckkkkkkkk” and I knew.

But I wasn’t about to like become a pariah, so I overcompensated to the point where I had Thirteen/Olivia as my desktop background and a friend laughed about it and I was like “lmfao I love House dude what’s wrong with u” and I then proceeded to pretend to have a crush on Hugh Laurie for THE REST OF FUCKING HIGH SCHOOL. My HS ex wasn’t sure about asking me out because he thought I was into old dudes. Like MY ENTIRE PERSONALITY WAS HUGH LAURIE (and SNL so that part was at least authentic).

No one in my school knew I was even vaguely gay. No one was surprised when they eventually found out but they fully thought I had daddy issues and was into old dudes and then I was in a power couple vibe with a boy so not much to think about there.

There were two girls in my grade who were the hot slutty messy bitches - I’d call them popular because I bitched about them as the popular bitches back then but I don’t know how many friends they actually had like mostly we whined about them and dudes fucked them - who were ALL OVER EACH OTHER. Like they made out at parties, they claimed to do other stuff with each other in front of boys or ask boys what they wanted to see them do, they used to be OBNOXIOUS. They were also - and are still - EXTREMELY homophobic like it was fully for dudes.

I Kissed A Girl was big at that point and their party trick was to make out and be all over each other for that song while dudes whooped.

Fun anecdote of being a baby gay: I remember one time we were at a party at this senior boy’s house and he asked me to dance and I was shy and insecure and awkward af at this stage and didn’t think I was even marginally pretty so it felt like a bad joke to me and THAT song came on and they started doing that and I got so caught up watching them and he was like “hey is everything fine” and I was like “I’m so sorry” and I like RAN outside and felt like a huge freak.

Now both those girls are… straight lol. They were just messy bitches. Anyway.

Then there was another girl in our grade who was a butch masc lesbian - and closeted af. Like we could see she was gay yk because of her gender presentation and vibe and just… besties this girl is like Kinsey 10… but she fully dated boys and made out with them especially very publicly and AFTER SCHOOL was briefly engaged to a guy and didn’t go through with it and came out as a lesbian and everyone was like “FUCKING FINALLY!!!” and good for her.

Then there were all my friends who made the regular MySpace type jokes.

And then we had one girl in our circle who was absolutely obsessed with boys but… a bit too into the jokes. The guys used to joke she should hook up with the two exhibitionists and she used to like giggle and be into it and be like “hahahaha AND WHAT IF I DID????” I’m still friendly with her and like AS AN ADULT - not in uni when the Kinsey 6 girl and I came out, like recently - she’s softly come out bi.

I would absolutely not be shocked if Tay has that type of thing going on. Like that girl is currently with a dude and will most likely endgame with a dude but no the girl stuff wasn’t for attention and she isn’t straight she’s just… a lil bit fruity and good for her.

[cornwaiidesu]

a boohoo-y deep dive into my ~psyche~ cuz I had A Moment at work yesterday :P

I care too much about what people think of me. plain and simple. I have been this way since I was a little girl. my cousins would pick on me because I was the special baby girl out of the three of us and they were the two older boys. they would pick on me for being shy and soft spoken and liking girl things, and I wanted them to like me because I thought the two of them were the coolest boys in the world, so I grew to be a little tomboy. I wanted to like fighting games, and anime, and comics because those were "boy things".

but then when puberty started to set in, being a tomboy wasn't cute anymore. at least according to the bullies I had in middle school. usually boys who would call me a d*ke and make fun of me for wearing baggy t-shirts and loose pants and my dad's army jacket every single day of my life. "girls are supposed to be feminine" so obviously something had to be *wrong* with me and they would speculate shit about me directly in front of me. try to engage me in the conversation just to rub it in and of course that made me feel like shit.

so then in high school I try to flip the switch again. I start wearing tighter fitting clothes. I grow my hair out because I was constantly being dogged on my hairstyle even tho that shit was kind of REVOLUTIONARY FOR A 12 YEAR OLD LIVING IN IOWA. PROPS TO TEENAGE MRH. even back then I was a little punk. :3c I digress tho.

the beginning of high school was when I started my curse that lives on in me. I wear earrings every day of my life and I do because I convinced myself back then that I would be mistaken for a boy otherwise. and I still hold that fear because it was upheld! I started wearing dresses and skirts to school, but it didn't matter because dudes would still flip me shit and say that I was a predatory lesbian and strip me of my femininity. adults would still call me young man and sir despite being a 16 year old wearing make up, denim skirts, earrings, and covered in beaded necklaces. I would wear SO much jewelry to try to get it through people's minds that I was a girl.

but then through that came another weird thing where, like, though I was dressing ~feminine~ I was still "one of the guys" because I had a crude sense of humor and still liked comics and anime and wasn't as, for lack of a better word, "delicate" as my other (white) female friends. but then AGAIN I *couldnt* be one of the guys because it was a secret special task force essentially and I was just a stupid girl.

a lot of that fucked up my sense of self with my sexuality growing up too. I knew at a fairly early age that I was bisexual even though I didn't know there was a word for it, but I didn't want to admit to liking girls because that would mean my bullies were right about me, and if they were right about that then what if they were right about all the other horrible stuff they said about me being hideous, and gross, and weird?

because! if that was right too! a boy would never fall in love with me and have dance sex with me like Johnny and Baby do in Dirty Dancing! or would never save me from being sacrificed like Rick saves Evie in The Mummy! I'd be alone forever because boys would think I was big ugly butch with no value to them, and girls would think I was a predator and would always have to be on their guard to make sure I wasn't gawking and fawning over them. (and let's not even GET into how my religion fucked up my sense of morality about this. I have since grown out of it at least.)

every person I ever confessed to having a crush on has turned me down (mostly politely though, thank god) in my life except for one and a half. (one said they also liked someone else as much as they liked me, and since I had no self-esteem at 18 I was like "oh that's cool. let's date anyway." because I just wanted to have a boyfriend. that's the half.)

the other we kind of connected right away, whirlwind romance for me, but I don't think they ever quite felt the same way and that ended in an actual divorce anyway.

I've had three "relationships" my whole entire life and no more than that, and in my head i told myself thag was because I am fat, and ugly, and MASCULINE, no matter how hard I tried to be sweet and charming and pretty.

as I've aged I've learned about the systematic de-feminization of black women since all the way back to slavery times and shit and I won't claim to be an expert about that shit but it makes me cry that it's just ingrained into people's minds. it doesn't give us a single fighting chance from birth. it makes me feel like I'm going to be a lonely freak for the rest of my life because iowa is like one of the whitest places in the world, and my own internalized racism has convinced me all my life that I don't belong in black spaces because I'm not "authentic", I'm watered down. I've been called a half-breed and an oreo so many times.

I can't be black, I can't be white, I can't be a boy, I can't be a girl. I'm a copper penny in a jar full of nickels and dimes. I don't look the same, I'm not the same shape, and im not as shiny.

though I am attracted to women I have this OBSESSION with men, and to have a relationship with a man as PROOF. SOLID PROOF. that I am a valid woman, because there seems to be no other way for me to get the point across. and it's important for me to get the point across because I grew up with my business being the punchline, and curiosity of my peers, and the concern of my family. I couldn't exist without speculation from someone.

and then came a moment last year while I was at work, where a co-worker told me something that a person in another department who I did not get along with had told them. that I was a mean, jealous bitch who wanted them "out of the way" because they were getting too close to my friend that also worked at our store, and I was obsessed and in love with her and trying to stop a relationship from forming between the two of them. and it made me sick to my stomach. it was the thing I had been trying to steer clear from, from the moment I knew I was bisexual, but I hadn't tried hard enough. my anxiety shot through the roof. I had a panic attack. I broke down sobbing in the bathroom. this person was vengeful, I had nothing to do with them or that friend anymore, and I hadn't for months but they wanted to spread this rumor about me. and even if I truthfully denied it like I did, it didn't matter, because a person could take one look at me an think "you know, I can see that." because that's what people thought my entire fucking existence.

I cried off and on the rest of the day. I was too sick to eat dinner. I barely slept. and then I ended up puking what little food I had to eat that night anyway. I still barely ate the following few days I stayed home from work because I still felt so sick to my stomach with anxiety and at one point I got faint-ish when I had finally returned to work, and had to have help to get to the breakroom and force myself to eat. I bawled to my step-mother about it all, that I didn't feel comfortable at work anymore because it was just my words against theirs, and my bosses never held the person accountable for any of the other bullshit that they caused anyway.

it took me a VERY. long time to move past this incident. I think the only thing that ever ended up fully distracting me from it was covid and my uncle and my father's health both taking a turn for the worst last June. and even then, in between, I had such loooow moments. I self harmed and wrote mean notes to myself, stayed in bed for days. I wrote my own suicide note just to feel better, even though I knew I'd never do it. I was too chicken, but I just wanted to write it and pretend, just to release the depression pressure in my brain.

I've since been better for the most part. I know my parents love me and that I'm important to them, when just a few years ago I used to claim that I was an orphan because I was convinced that my father and my step-mother never cared to see me again because I was an ungrateful brat. I still get very lonely and long for a significant other but I'm kind of just coming to terms with the fact that unless I put myself out there, it won't happen, and im just too insecure to take the steps.

yesterday though, just for a second, out of nowhere, I thought about the claim that person had made about me even though the atmosphere at work has since changed, and things are patched up between me and my friend.

that gossiper is irrelevant now, but I couldn't help but have a little meltdown about it anyway because. like. apparently that's the vibe that I give off. because that's what everyone has said about me from day one of my life. and. I just. have to keep dealing with it. I'm stuck like this. and it sucks. and that little thought about it reminded me again.

[ajokeformur-ray]

✨ Unfiltered Joker thoughts ✨

I watched Joker with a bunch of lovely clowns on my Discord and while they werewolf’d in the chat, I typed out my thoughts here as they came to me. These are unedited, unfiltered, and exactly as they were in my head. I don’t know who’d be interested in this but 🤷‍♀️ who doesn’t love unfiltered thoughts about our man? NSFW ahead in places, lmao and some self-ship elements because it’s always on my mind.

There are Controversial Things within, I’m sure - be nice about it if you wanna comment, or unfollow/block etc. if it bothers you I won’t take it personally. I will take it personally if I’m sent a rude message, though. Fair warning. You curate your own online experience so scroll past silently if you gotta!🥰🥰🥰🥰

Tagging @arthurflecc @jokerownsmysoul @daincrediblegg @sweet-nothings04 bc they were in the chat and missed me there!! 

 Word count: 4, 597.

OMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMG JOKERJOKERJOKERJOKERJOKERJOKERJOKERJOKERJOKERJO -

*Presses play*

OMG THERE HE IS BABYYYYYYYY ~ 

Ugh that white shirt... 🥵

“paint me like one of your french girls” 👀

oh, honey, no. 

Don’t force yourself to smile, my love, it’s okay. you can be hurting.

sweet angel who can do no wrong asdfghjkl

wanna kiss that tear away...

CARNIVALCARNIVAL CARNIVAL *STARTS SWAYING IN MY SEAT*

jaunty piano to juxtapose his shitty mood

you spin me right round, baby, right round...

ohhh, baby 🥺🥺🥺

someone’s honky lmaoooooo ~ 

that cello

Ohhhh, darling man.... i’m so sorry. I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry

WOOPS CRYINGGGG ~

sweet angel love still tryna be funy with the flower squirting...

what else will squirt tonight???👀

ohhh, darling. deep breaths baby. it’s okay. you’re okay.

CRYINGGGGG

ohhhh baby boyyyy....

legit just cooed aloud

oh angel <3 

“is it just me or is it getting crazier out there?”

it is my love... it is. 

let me sit on your lap and still the shaking of your legs

ohhhh my love. you’re okay. just breathe.

Dr. Kane was doing her best but you’re beyond what she can handle

you deserve better, sweetheart.

my love, my life.

I JUMPED WHEN HE HIT HIS HEAD IN ARKHAM

“who knows?”

yeah me too, my love. me too. 

“i just dont wanna feel so bad anymore”

oh baby.

i know, my love. i wish i could hold your hand and stroke your hair and kiss your cheeks 🥺🥺🥺

had a shitty day but wants to comfort a child on the bus. thats my manssss ~ <3 <3 <3 

okay but his peekaboo makes me giggle please do that to me when im sad

“‘cuse you bitch?”

the greasepaint still on his face is endearing omg 

GIVE HIM BACK HIS CARD OR IMMA RIOTTTT

CRYINGGGGG 

ohhhh baby. no. deep breaths. i’m here, my love. not going anywhere

those fucking steps

me too, darling. i feel your exhaustion like it’s my own and i long to take it from you without changing a single thing about you.

my love, my life

the weariness of an unchanged routine is a paralysing one

wanna rub cream on your bruises

“yeah, mum” so soft im cry

“eat. you need to eat” i hear you in my head when i wanna skip meals and it helps me.

“oh yeah? who do you talk to?” YES SASS HER

“yay murray” ohhhhh angel you’re so cute I’m cry 🥺

murray you wankstain - old and crusty 🤮🤢🤮🤢

arthur’s laugh in his daydream 🥺🥺

“i love you murray” // “you’re awful murray” baby noooooo

“theres something special about you arthur” the only real thing murrat ever fuckin said AND IT WASNT EVEN A REAL THING IT WAS IN HIS HEAD

“I TAKE GOOD CARE OF MY MOTHER” YEEEES BABY YOU DO! SO PROUD OF YOU!!!

just wantin recognition in your daydreams bc you dont get it in your real life

YOU SWEET THING

HIS SWEET SMILE AND THE CELLO OH BABY 🥺😭

YOUR BACK 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

shoes are too tight so you gotta stretch em 

can you stretch me too???👀🥵💦🔥

“chuckletown” RANDALLS LEGACY AND WE TURNED IT INTO SMTHN LOVING AND NOT SARKY LIKE HE INTENDED LMAO FUCK YOU RANDALL YOU PIECE OF SHIIIIIIIIT

arthur’s hair in the sun omg like a halo

randall fuck off fucking fuck off go aWAY LEAVE MY ARTHUR ALONE

you asswipe

arthurs shy and nervous lil giggle omg baby say no give the gun back its not well intended 

“my boy”  AHA LMAO HE DOES PAY YOU BACK BUT NOT HOW YOU EXPECT LMAOOOO YOU GET WHAT YOU DESERVE

THOSE CURLS

arthur’s sweet little lilting voice in front of his boss omggggg ~ 

HOYYYYYYT 

his logic makes no sense wtffffff ~ 

RETAIL SMILE LMAO THATS A MOOD 

brewing insanity..... 

POUND ME LIKE THOSE TRASH BAGS

RUIN ME AND THEN REBUILD ME IN YOUR IMAGE 

those mf stairs again

it’s the same old team since 1916... in your head, in your head...

never in my LIFE have i been aroused by a FOOT

lmao only Arthur istg that man is the exception to my every rule

Gigi is so CUTE 🥺

THAT SMIRK SIR CAN YOU NOT

“hey” omggg look at you tryna connect ugh so proud of youuu ~ 

the moon is a silver dollar... 

THOSE CURLS

THOSE BARE FEET

THAT SOFT VOICE

ARTHURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR 

frances conroy is a goddess omg i love herrrr ~ 

espesh on ahs she’s a queen

but i digress lmao wrong fandom

“dont you have to be funny to be a comedian”

FUCK OFF PENNY 

FUCK RIGHT OFF THEN FUCK OFF SOME MORE PLEASE

slap that bass.... 

FINGERSSS ON THE GUN ASDFGHJ PUT THEM ON ME INSTEADDDD

zoom zoom the world is in a mess

LMAO YEP

“psh” omg you sweet angel asdfghjk

THAT EYEBROW RAISE ASDFGHJK SASSY KINGGGGG

GET ITTTTTT

UGH THAT BODY WANNA COVER IT IN MARKS OF LOVE TO REPLACE THE VIOLENT MARKS

ARTHUR @ HIMSELF “YOURE A GOOD DANCER // I KNOW”

omggggg sweet clumsy babyyyy

lmaooo “old war movie” do you tell penny that when we get caught having sex on the sofa????

arthur honey following sophie isn’t.... the best way to get her attention asdfghjk 

someone needs to teach you social interactions... 

I VOLUNTEER AS TRIBUTTTTTE

that student/teacher roleplay comedian at pogos makes no sense to me???? i dont get his jokes at all

lmao bad comediannnnnn

arthur’s cute lil mistimed giggles ksksksksk 

wanna kiss your cheeks every timmmme 

you’re working so hard to achieve your goals im so so proud of you

ambidextroussss ~ (just like me omg we’re perfect for each otherrrrr)

“people expect you to behave as if you dont” YOU INTELLIGENT LIL SHIT OMG I LOVE YOU AND YOUR MIND

you know its a daydream if arthurs wearing a shirt at home 

his shy “yeah” omggggg ~ angelllll 

“i have a gun i can come by tomorrow” LMAOOOOOOOO 

“youre so funny arthur” YES HE IS DREAM!SOPHIE

CARNIVAL CARNIVAL CARNIVAL

I ACTUALLY STOMP MY FEET HERE BC IM HAPPY FOR THE TIME HES ON SCREEN SWEET CLOWN 

THE ONLY ONE IM NOT AFRAID OF

HES SO SO HAPPY OMGGG

BABY BOYYYY IN HIS ELEMENT

SAD THO BC KIDS ARE TERMINALLY ILL 

bestest party clownnnn 

“I love this job” oh baby 🥺🥺

aaaaaaaaand now the betrayal from randall lmao fuck that dude

NO BB YOUR FOREHEAD NO SMASHY GLASSY

LMAO THE FUCK ERIKA???

dudes 35 not a kid 

throwing greasy chips into a girl’s hair isn’t how to flirt my dude lmao you’re gross??? 

ew

EW EW EW WIGGLE YOUR CHIPS ELSEWHERE

ohhhh arthur, honey no omg breathe it’s okay

you wanna help but you dont know how

you sweet thing 

send in the clowwwwwwwwwwwwwwns ~ 

IM CRYINGGGGG

“they couldnt carry a tune to save their lives”

JOEKR ITS NOT YOUR TIME YET GO AWAYYYY

lmao jokes stay you know im lost without you 

HOW CAN YOUR HAIR LOOK SO GOOD AFTER BEING UNDER A WIG ALL DAY ?????

carnival with arthur’s hair is just 👌👌👌👌

WHERES HIS CARDDDDD 

nooooooo omg baby no omg i wish i could take all those punches for you

i’d take it all in a heartbeat to save you

gritting his teeth not taking in anymore

YES BABY GET EEEEEEM

YES YES YES YES STAND UP FOR YOURSELF SO PROUD OF YOU

first 2 self defence, 3rd one unsure lmao but fuck it 

no PUT THE GUN AWAY FROM YOUR FACE BABY ITS OKAY DONT FORGET YOUR BAG OR YOUR WIG ITS EVIDENCE

KILL THE 3RD COVER YOUR TRACKS

GOOD BOYYYYYY

carnival with blood on face = killing your insecurities

8 bullets from a 6 chamber????? mm-hm lmao i know @daincrediblegg wrote a thing on this once lmao bestest Egg is smart and i love her muchly 🥰🥰🥰🥰

run baby run, dont ever look backkk... (check yes juliet)

BATHROOM SCENE BATHROOM SCENE BATHROOM SCENE

fuck me against that dirty counter

joker’s waking uuuuuuuup....

that cello though unffff 👌

got me clenchinnnnn you fluidddd ~ 

and in his eyes, all the sadness of the world. those pleading eyes that both threaten and adore (phantom of the opera)

my brain is 90% song lyrics 

hes so graceful and ethereal so full of pain and of love and of adventure and worth and need and yearning

my sweet boy

my wonderful angel

my fallen angel

T POSEEEEE

DAYDREAM KISSSSS

ugh push me against the wall and shove your hand down my panties and take whats yours 

please and thanks

so confident

so smooth

so sure

unf

take me angel im all yours 

and my name is carnival

SASSY BOYYYYY

I SAY BOY BUT YOURE A MAN LMAO 

YESSSSSS TELL THEMMMMMMMM 

LMAOOOOOO RANDALL SEEMS LEGIT CONFUSED PFFFT

TOUGH SHIIIIIIIT

LMAOOO PUNCH OUT

BUSTING A LUNNGGGGG

HE DOESNT KNOW HIS OWN STRENGTH

OR HIS OWN LIMITS

“DONT SMILE”

MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD

nothin worse than being told to smile when you really wanna bare your teeth and let rip

aka me every fuckin minute of my life 

SHUSH ME SHUSH ME SHUSH ME

ILL CRY BUT DO IT

LMAOOOOO CHOKE ME WITH THOSE BICEPS 

ILL GO OUT DOIN WHAT I LOVE

YOUUUUUUU 

“gotham’s lost its way” ok trump

“thats not funny” SHUT UP PENNY YES IT IS

STOP SMOTHERING ARTHUR LET HIM BE FREE

“nobody ever saw me. even i didnt know if i really existed”

and

“you dont listen do you”

BOTH ARE MOODS

i feel them so hard

hes so sure of himself in this session

so angry and done and weary

“people are starting to notice” ALMOST A YEAR OF YOU BEING NOTICED

that green jumper omggg 

good luck getting me out of it pfffft 

“erika have you seen my - oh, there it is. never mind.”

want it back???? payment is kissessss

EW SEXIST COMEDIAN

arthur honey stop primping youre perfect <3 <3 <3 

im so so proud of youuuuu

COLLARBONEEEEEES

OMG HE STUMBLES UP THE STEPS DARLINGGG

I wish i could hold your hand while youre on stage and comfort you while you deliver your jokes

just breathe, darling. it’s okay. i’m here, i promise. <3 

every time you gag on your laughter my heart clenches

CRYINGGGGG

oh, my love, it’s okay. just breathe. dont fight it. dont fight yourself 

you’re so good at imitating your ma pfffft 

lmaoooo you’re so funny arthur 

WOO BOI DONT FLASH YOUR PORN PAGES AT THE AUDIENCE 

givin me ideas.... 

SMILE THOUGH YOUR HEART IS ACHING

SMILE EVEN THOUGH IT’S BREAKING 

WHEN THERE ARE CLOUDS IN THE SKY

YOU’LL GET BY

SMILE THROUGH YOUR FEAR AND SORROW

SMILE

AND MAYBE TOMORROW

YOULL SEE THE SUN COME SHINING THROUGH

arthur is my sunshine

EXCUSE ME HEART EYES OMGGGG

ME AND ARTHUR HEART EYESING AT EACH OTHER PFFFFFT 

gonna put people off their food doin that 

thats life

arthur’s imitations and those soft curls and the dancing and the - 

erika.exe has stopped working 

“come on dance with me”

👀👀👀👀👀👀👀

i prefer the horizontal dance myself...

“big date”

“deliver the letter”

NARCISSISM 

ARTHUR YOU DESERVE BETTERRRRRRRRRR

IS IT BAD HIS EYEBROWS TURN ME ON?? SO THICK AND DARK AND STRONG I - 

and those eyes

ugh fuck meeee ~ 

yes thats an invitation

penny “needs care” but her handwriting is that neat???? yeah fuck off 

sorry i dont buy it

she was grooming him i think into some kinda husband role and its fucking gross as fuck she was abusing him and he just wanted her gone 

CUTE LIL NOSTRIL FLARES BC SAD AND ANGRY

OMG

his quiet anger scares me but i admire how he calmed down so fast

angry penguinnnnn

HE CARRIES HIS CLOWN NOSE AROUND IN HIS POCKET

CUUUUUUUTE

the similar clothing colours of arthur and bruce is v def intentional 

in another life, arthur....

i’m so sorry darling you deserved and deserve so much better

legit one small change in anything coulda prevented 80% of this film

your magic tricks are gorgeous ~ 

you’re so funny and soothing and comforting and so good with kids

you are the best party clown

I GASPED AT THE FLOWERS

like my server nameee ~ 

“hi” that soft noise 🥺

arthur’s hands on those bars omg 🥵🥵🥵

okay i’ll admit i still dont get the whole arthur/thomas thing lmao is he his dad???? ive seen this film 10000000 x and i still can’t decide.

i wanna say he is but like ??? idk ??

it’s tragic either way omg arthur’s wasted in gotham

ruuuun arthur run run runnnnnnnn 

the bg music isss 👌👌👌👌

arthur accidentally caused penny’s stroke bc med w/drawal but all that abuse, like ????? i get why he kept her sedated lmao i’d want her knocked out or smthn too

7 meds between the two of them, probably.... that might be why he wanted an increase???

you gotta lie, angel.

you’re in way over your head but lie

yeeees good boy!!

“a clown thing?“ lmaoooo tell them!!!

NO ITS EXIT ONLY

KINDA LIKE MY ASS LMAO NO ANAL FOR YOU 

he just wants love and comfort and for someone to stay omg you sweet thing 

you deserve the world and all the forehead kisses 

TURN THE TV OFF

TURN IT OFF

TURN IT - 

OH TOO LATE

arthurrrrr ~ 

its like a car crash lmao you know its coming but you cant stop looking

fuck off murrat

FUCK OFF SOME MORE

oooooooh thats a danger face....

lowkey want it between my thighs lmao use me to work out your frustrations i can take it 

“kill the rich” lmao relatable 

this film revealed to me that i have a flexible morality ksksksk im all for it though 

sleepy bb ~ 

“we are all clowns” ALSO RELATABLE

🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡

arthurs thriving in the crowd omg yes baby looks so happy

flashes of joker comin throughhh... 

sneaky baby...

quick on his feet, light on his sense... 

tread lightly on my ground, (abba; andante)

THE RED THEATRE SUIT OMG FORESHADOWWWW

he looks good in red

he looks good out of red too 👀👀

that is the smile of the world’s most precious angel omg babyyyy ~ 

he makes me smile omg hes my sunshine

my love my life 

you saved my soul do you know that??? do you feel me and how much i love you? do you see me and these tears? 

do you feel me like i feel you?

ohhhhh boy here we go asdfdgfhgjhk arthur going to meet his dad, only asking for love and instead he gets punched in the face

i mean i get it bc of what arthur did to bruce with the whole hands in the mouth thing but bruce is barely mentioned, like an afterthought?

thomas has a nasty temper i wouldnt want him for a dad

thomas legit only mentions bruce after he’s punched arthur its like his only thought is really protecting himself and his rep with the whole penny thing

his son comes after; legit as he’s walking away he mentions bruce so hes obvs not that concerned????

shitty dad award lmao

not that what arthur did is okay im not excusing his admittedly misguided and lowkey creepy actions but like ????

lmao prob gonna get hate for this ^^ like i did last time i mentioned it but i dont care im allowed an opinion

too tired to care rn anyways pfffft its storming so bad outside and my wifi has dipped idk if this’ll save

c’mon wifi, for me... 

yes

arthur didnt have an attack til he got called crazy, its a trigger word for him 😭

oh baby its okay, deep breaths.

dont fight your laughter, that’ll make it worse 

the way he bounces back from that punch though - you know how to take it, dont you, my love?

you sweet thing.

i wish i could get you out of that fridge omg baby those old ones lock - how did you get out ????

meds are wearing off now.....

darling say no to the show lmao you dont wanna go

*facepalm*

every time i watch this i hope it turns out different

it never does

arthur honey dont ask questions you dont want the answers to

that clerk was protecting you not letting you see the file

that clerk and gary were the only ones nice to you

but it wasnt enough

you needed love and support and help and guidance 

and instead you got literal and metaphorical punches and no break

the hand puppet omgggg ~ 

i want him to play peekaboo with me when im sad/upset/make a hand puppet over my shoulder aszdxfcghvjbkn

ohhhhhh darling stop reading stop reading stop reading

put it down. 

this entire scene is confusing and heartbreaking

ive seen this film 10000000 x and im still not sure i fully understand

his laughing is so much like sobbing here

omg moonshine its okay you can cry. let it all out. 

newspaper clips in a real file???? mmmm - unprofessional or arthur’s manifestation of news??

🤔

we love pathetic fallacy in this house

i wanna get you in the shower and wash you down and feed you and wrap you in my warm embrace “i had a bad day”

my dark angel, it’s okay. i’m here. i love you and im staying with you no matter what

sophie was his last hope, his last chance to reconnect

again im not excusing it lmao but im saying i understand him

hes touching everything to experience it for the first time

he knows shes a daydream

hes self-aware but he needs his coping mechanisms

we all do it

not the breaking in, i mean the daydreaming 

“i had a bad day” shatters my black, shrivelled heart 💔💔💔💔💔💔

ohhh, darling.

istg you’re the only person i ever fucking coo at 

finger-guns = reconnecting = remember me see me

but i guess to sophie it came across as ominous/creepy??

poor arthur trying so hard to reconnect to people and he just cant do it he doesnt have the social know-how bc no one bothered to ever teach him

again im not saying its okay im just saying

lmao i hate how i always feel like i have to justify myself even before thats called into question pffft the internet is cruel and prev times ive voiced myself ive been sent rude messages and once bitten twice shy

the sword forgets but the tree remembers

hes sobbign and laughing and its gut-wrenching

that neighbour yelling “shut up” better catch these hands imma square up

have some compassion dickwad

you never know what someones going through so be kind

always always be kind

^^^ film takeaway right there

if looks could kill penny would be 6 feet under

OH WAIT LMAOOOO 😂😂😂😂😂😂

in killing her he sets himself free. but the trauma and the damage done to him leaves him open to more of the same bc hes so vulnerable

that heart-rate monitor went quiet so quickly did he tune it out????

OMG THE WAY HE REHEARSES FOR THE SHOW YOU SWEET MAN OMG YOU DESERVE THE WORLD

sir thats my seat lmao my throne of red

“yeah? all of you? okay” 🤡🤡🤡

us lining up to fuck him into next week 😂

THATS LIFEEEEE ~ 

the fuck kinda hair dye you usin’???

CHOKE ME W THOSE BICEPS

DANCIN TOGETHER IN THE BATHROOM

THOSE HIPS DONT LIEEEEE 👀👀

scissors = pre-med murder but triggered by “my boy” - term used by abusers. 

poor angel’s triggered by lots of things, i think. theres no telling what triggers his violence and thats what makes him dangerous

could be anything and theres also no telling what his “you wronged me” scale is so ??? 

he’s like a kicked dog... lashes out when hes had so much and wont/cant take anymore

“COMING” yeaaaaah i bet....👀

“i stopped taking my medication and i feel a lot better now” GET OUT GET OUT THATS A RED FLAG OUUUUUUUUUUT YOU GO

OOOOOH JOKER’S LAUGH IS OUT - HES MOCKING YOUUUU AND YOU DONT EVEN KNOW IT BOY’S SMARTICLES

this is why arthurs so dangerous. he looks lithe and weak and fragile but he takes down a man twice his size with scissors in one hit

do not underestimate him it’ll be the last thing you ever do

I WANNA LICK THE BLOOD OFF HIS FACE

BRITISH ACCENT ON POINT 

LMAO he’d so mock me for mine 😂

“you were the only one who was ever really nice to me” a moral codeeee; flexible morality like meeee ~ 

okay but he so made gary jump bc he knew gary was too scared to move otherwise

loooooving the gallows humour with the door lock PFFFT

gotham slept on arthur dude’s hilarious

OH OMH OMG OMGOMOMGOMGOMGOMGOKMG JOKER JOKERJOKERJOKERJOKERJOKERJOKERJOKER

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

MY LOVE MY LIFE MY CLOWN MY HUSBAND OMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMG

IM CRYINGGGGGGGG

JOKERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

JOKERJOKERJOKERJOKERJOKERJOKER

I CANT BREATHE FUCK OMFFFFF LOOK AT HIIIIIIM

LOOOOOOOOOK LOOK LOOK ASZDXFCGVHJBKLKJHGFDSZDXFGHJHKJLKJHGFD

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍 😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍 😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍 😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍 😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍 😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍 😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍

MY LOVE MY LIFE MY JOOOOOOOOOOOOOOKER

JOKERJOKERJOKER

LMAO HE’D BE GIGGLING AT ME RIGHT NOW OMGGGG

lmao let randall rot there fuck hiiiiiiim (and not in the fun way)

i want Joker to touch my clit like he did the lift button 👀

ohhhhh look at you having fun on the stairrrs

happy babyyyy ~ 

dancing  towards what you believe to be your death

so glad you changed your punchline at the last minute you didnt deserve to die

SWEET FLAWLESS ANGEL I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU

his “oh” when the cops come lmaooooo ~ 

he does that when you grind down hard on him...👀

so used to pain he gets up from being hit by a car and carries on 😔

run baby run...

hes so agile and so quick on his feet

thinks fast too

arthur for fuck’s sake dont you dare stop

you’re almost there, my love.

im so so proud of you

SASSY DANCING ANGELLLL

i love that smug smirk he has and that chuckle omg lmaooooo ~ 

i’d do anything to see you look at me with such pride

ooof you look so angry in the subway but i’d happily cup your face in my hands and smother you in kisses

your eyes red rimmed with tears. youve been sweating and crying ohhhh ~ 

my love omg you didnt want this, you didnt want the riots and you dont know how it spun so outta control and you didnt choose this

i so desperately want to be with you right now

“i dont believe in anything” THATS OKAY I DIDNT NEED MY HEART ANYWAY

I MEAN ITS ALREADY YOURS BUT YOURE STANDING ON IT OUCH

💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔

“mm-hm” i love that little noise

“i love dr sally” BITCH YOU HAVE A WIFE AT HOMEEEE

“THATS WHAT YOU CALLED ME ON THE SHOW. A JOKER. DO YOU REMEMBER?” THATS SUCH A DANGEROUS LOOK ON HIS PERFECT FACE LMAO MURRAY HAD ONE CHANCE TO CHANGE HIS MIND AND APOLOGISE AND HE DIDNT EVEN KNOW IT LMAO

fuck ‘em, Joker.

You deserve better

GET

THAT

FUCKING

GUN

AWAY

FROM

YOUR 

FACE

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

all that pain in his eyes....

oh, darling. how did no one see you????

his backstage dancing got me 💦💦💦

hes so ethereal and mysterious, so free yet so constrained, so beautiful and so himself

i love him i love him i love him i love him

smile playing as he comes out on stage lmao even now hes being told what to do and how to act

hes never free

spinny baby

you spin me right round...

he suits the stage so well

lmao woop sexual assault (kissing dr sally without consent) isnt a good move Joker but damn what a first kiss...

never thought i’d be jealous of an elderly woman but here we are 🤡

he looks so good under the lights omg so crisp....

wanna mess and smear it uuuuup

~

you’re all being mocked and none of you fucking know it lmao get wrecked

memory problems bcof the notebook + “get it right” - he really cares

ohhhhhh baby come on change your punchline, come on....

okay but that drunk driver joke does make me giggle lmao it’s so out there and honestly my sense of humour is just as dark as his is

i just sHIVERED 🥵

“arthur” HE SAID CALL HIM JOKER DONT BE RUDE

ohhhhh i’m cryingggg 😭😭😭😭😭😭

i cant watch this without crying ohhhh all that pain, all that suffering and all that anger, confusion and betrayal. a mental breakdown on nat tv and no one sees him. how the fuck are you all so blind?????

“mur-rray” LMAO YOU FUCK MY NAME I FUCK YOURS

SAY IT JOKER IM SO SO PROUD OF YOUUU

hes speaking facts

“they couldnt carry a tune to save their lives” and that eye roll and groan yes we stan a dramatic CLOWN

this is fucking heartbreaking omg “i dont care about anything” but then he rants in the next minute - so unpredictable and dangerous and untamed but so so pretty in his pain so beautiful and so free

but hes not free... not really

“werewolf” as a verb omg only you could make that work

im so fucking proud of you

“youre awful murray” ooooooooh....

LMAO JOKER’S JOKE BLEW MURRAT’S MIND

hes crying and shaking and no one ??? sees him ???? how????

i legit dont understand how people just dont see him? people see what they wanna see but it’s right there???

he seems almost surprised by the fact he killed him

YES GRAB MY FACE LIKE YOU DID THE CAMERA PLEASE

IN THE WHITE ROOOOOOOOOM

UGH I LOVE THIS SONG SO FUCKING MUCH ITS SUCH A FEEL GOOD SONG

GOTHAM IS SO PRETTY WHEN ITS ON FIRE OMG ITS SO ALIVE

I LOVE THE ENERGY THIS SCENE GIVES OFF

ITS LIKE HOW JOKER HIMSELF MAKES ME FEEL

ALIVE

his little “hi” like they can hear him 🥺🥺🥺🥺

his laughter omggg sweet angelllllll ~ 

“i know. isn’t it beautiful?” YES IT IIIIIS

AND SO ARE YOU

OH NO OMG NO NO NOPEEEE

this scene always scares me even though i know hes okay pffffft 

the birth of joker lmao

be careful with him please hes precious cargo

omggg i wanna sit on that car and wipe his blood away and help him to get home so i can patch him up

lmao im a scaredy cat til my loved ones are threatened then i scare up this fawn bites

i wanna help Joker to get help and support

i wanna love him through it all, the good and the bad

his slow dancing always gets me omg it’s arthur, still there, still suffering, still unseen and unloved

hes crying and hes in pain

blood smile - my inside is on the outside now and it still hurts

he didnt want any of this. he chose his name ubt not what came with it

my poor clown...... 

CRYINGGGGGG AGAIN

HIS GENUINE LAUGHTER SENDS ME OMG ITS SO PRETTY

i wanna make him laugh like that

it always makes me smile omg those cute lil hiccups 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

THATS LIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIFE

i love the audio muted during the scene he sings it omgg it’s so prettyyyy ~ i like to pretend hes singing to me sometimes asdfghjk

metaphorical or literal blood???

hes accepted who he is now.

hes free

dancing in the white light like an angel

i love him i love him i love him i love him i love him i love him i love him i love hiiiiiiiiiim ~ 🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖

~ THE END ~