#edser sleeping

[that-disabled-princess]

An ask game for writers to procrastinate working on your WIP(s)

I was tagged in this a couple weeks ago by @cosmicalart @valeffelees @run-for-chamo-miles and @wellbelesbian, but didn't know what WIPs to share until now. But I'm currently lying on the floor very tired and sleep-deprived, so why not. The answers are across several fics, but the fics aren't really specified because I'm sleepy.

🦈 Tell us the name of one of your WIP(s)

Stressed? Write porn!

🍄 Describe one of your WIPs in the format of “___ + ___ =___”

Sex + EDS = The OuchiesTM

🌍 What tags or warnings will your WIP(s) need if you intend to share it?

Violence, graphic descriptions of hearts, probably a tag for Simon being a serial killer, dead dove

🧭 An alternative title to one of your WIP(s)?

No idea, honestly, I'm bad enough at titles as it is.

Edit to update my answer: Chaotically violent and horny immortal husbands Simon and Baz in love

⚠️ Which WIP you’re most likely to finish or update next?

Maybe that one where EDSer Runaan is relocating his joints after sex.

💾 What is the document of your WIP called? (Not the story title, but what you’ve saved it as.)

smutty snowbaz smut (part of me wants to post this one, and the other part of me worries it won't be as hot as I think it is, or it'll lose its hotness once posted)

🖍 Post any sentence from your WIP

Baz throws his hands up in the air.

“Smut!” He slams his fingers back on the keyboard and continues typing, assuming a voice like he’s giving a sales pitch. “Are you stressed? Do you need to get your shit together? Just write porn!”

♻️ A scrapped idea for your current WIP

I don't have many scrapped ideas--I usually just run with whatever comes to mind.

🤔 What’s a story you’d love to write but haven’t even started yet?

An autistic Runaan fic or other neurodivergent character fic with the title being a line from the song People Like Us by Kelly Clarkson.

🤡 How many WIPs are you actively working on?

Actively? None. WIPs that I come back to from time to time? Many.

🛠 Is there a scene or anything in the WIP you are struggling with right now?

A lot of scenes... I don't have the spoons to actually write right now. I guess to narrow it down, I've been stuck on that smut scene in my "chaotically violent and horny immortal husbands Simon and Baz in love" fic for... probably over a year now. I have no idea where this smut scene should go.

❤️ Not a question, just a second kudos to send.

💖

No idea who's done this already, but tagging @bazzybelle @hoothalcyon @stitchyqueer @youarenevertooold @no-cinnamon-for-synonym

@you-remind-me-of-the-babe @cutestkilla @iamamythologicalcreature @yellobb <2

[uniquelysamantha]

What The Hell Is EDS?

Why You Should Care...

You can’t know me without knowing my journey with EDS. My journey helped me become the woman I am today. The woman I was at 8 and the child I was yesterday.

So What Is It?

EDS stands for Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome. It’s a collection of connective tissue disorders. EDSers are born with faulty collagen. (And no, collagen supplements can’t change faulty collagen to healthy collagen.) Unfortunately collagen is needed to hold the body together. There are several types of EDS, some being moderately common and some extremely rare. Each type has certain symptoms that are different from other types, but a few symptoms are present across the spectrum. I could write a paper about EDS, a long paper. Instead, I’m going to tell you about my experiences.

First, let me get one thing out of the way right at the beginning. I have two types of EDS, which is supposed to be impossible, but bear with me. I inherited Classical EDS from my mom. It was obvious from the beginning. I also inherited Hypermobile EDS from my dad. That was only diagnosed later. Here’s the absolute crazy thing. Neither of my parents knew they had EDS. My parents, like so many other EDSers, had symptoms, but doctors couldn’t figure it out. So, yeah, it’s crazy that two people with different types of EDS meet, and pass on that faulty gene to all three children in the family. So, before other EDSers say anything about how it’s not possible to have two types, my two types EDS have been confirmed by four different geneticists.

Ok now that that’s out of way . . .

When I was born, my left foot was twisted completely backwards. According to my parents, my health and development issues never got “better.” My mom had been around babies all of her life. She knew what babies were supposed to be able to do around certain ages. From the very beginning, she tried to tell the doctors that something was wrong with me. I couldn’t hold my head up when most babies do. I couldn’t sit up when most babies do. Forget crawling and walking on time. All through this, my parents struggled with my severely fragile skin. It was bruised most of the time and would tear at the smallest bump. There was clearly something wrong with my health, but the doctors didn’t understand what.

At the age of 18 months I was still not walking well. That left foot was floppy and didn’t want to stay in place. I was shipped off to an orthopedic surgeon to see what could be done. This was the most important doctor in my life. He was the first one to suggest to my parents that I might have Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome. He didn’t want to make the official diagnosis because he didn’t think he had the qualifications to do so. So he shipped me off to the Shriner’s Hospital for Children. It was a very high ranking doctor that finally told my parents that I have Classical EDS, then called Type I.

Unfortunately, even the doctors didn’t know much about it and had never heard of someone being diagnosed so young. We left the Shriner’s Hospital For Children with more questions than answers. This was in 1973.

Cigarette Paper Skin . . .

As a child, my paper thin skin caused a ton of problems. Any fall would warrant a trip to the ER for stitches. Unfortunately because the doctors in the ER didn’t know anything about Ehlers-Danlos, they spent hours stitching me up, only to have them later pull through my skin, causing extremely slow healing and giant scars. I have tons of scars, from my head to my toes. Some are bright purple and some have stretched so much that they spread across my whole leg.

Rubber Man Joints ?

When I was about eight my joints started to painfully sublux and dislocate for no reason. The doctors didn’t understand how I could dislocate my knee during my sleep. My ankles were so weak that stepping on a pebble could cause a sprain or subluxation. I was on crutches 18 times before I even reached the age of 18.

My feet were just as unstable. They were terribly weak and I needed special shoes from the very beginning. Actually all of my joints were unstable. I could barely hold a pencil or a heavy book. My elbows and shoulders hurt when I tried to pick myself up off of the floor. I only became aware that most people’s knees didn’t hurt every day when I was about 10.

Ugh Surgeries . . .

To date, I’ve had 40 (I’m currently 51.) Some surgeries have been routine, like my tonsils and appendix. Most of my surgeries have been orthopedic and even experimental for a young EDSer. My feet have been cut up so much that I have more metal than bone in some areas. And, most of these surgeries failed within in years if not months. I’ve also had several reconstructive surgeries to try to put things back where they go.

I had a bilateral knee reconstruction from a terrible fall I had. I still have nightmares about it. More recently, I’ve had three surgeries on my left knee to reconnect my quad tendon to the bone. Again a terrible fall. Because of that stupid quad tendon, my knee can’t hold me upright any longer.

Wait, There’s More . . .

EDS is not just skin and joints though. Slow healing is a big part of every type. When a doctor says he’ll take the stitches out in seven days, it ends up being 14. I get sick if I’m around anyone who sneezes or coughs. I’ve had Scarlet Fever, several bouts of pneumonia, fevers over 103, bronchitis twice a year like clockwork, and enough viruses for hundreds of people.

Then I have other related issues. My heart and lungs are weak. I had to have a hysterectomy when I was only 24. I can’t even look at spicy food without my GERD yelling at me. I have mild hearing loss because there are bones in the ear, which can sublux too. My eyes are tricky because they change prescription a few times a year.

Displaced . . .

At the ripe old age of 43, I moved into the local nursing home because I just couldn’t take care of myself. Some days I’m fine, but other days I can’t move my neck without shooting pain. It’s very hard to eat or sit up when your neck is subluxed. Forget trying to cook for myself. I now use a wheelchair full time. I actually don’t mind because walking was not only painful, but dangerous. I had the chance of falling with every step, every tiny step. Yes, I’m limited a bit to go places because of my chair, but heck, I couldn’t do stairs when I walked anyway.

Evolution . . .

As my Ehlers-Danlos has progressed, I’ve had to give up a lot of things that I love. I can’t sew or knit anymore. I really shouldn’t be around most animals anymore because of their unpredictability. I can’t even hold a fork and spoon correctly. I haven’t cut my own food in years. I can’t chew gum or eat apples without cutting them up because my jaw dislocates. I can’t hold books to read. Thank goodness for ebooks! My back and knees are painful every minute, of every day, of every week, of every month, of every year.

So, Anyway . . .

Even with all of my physical issues, I’m actually content most of the time. I know my limits and stay within them while creatively adapting activities to have a great quality of life. I write, read on my tablet, research curious little things, even learned a way to knot keychains and small wall hangings. I still love people, and I still create, and I still learn. Those things are important to me.

Uniquely Samantha . . .

My life journey is mine. It’s made me as unique as your journey made you

[kjsadd]

Your brain develops based on sensory input—sight, hearing, sight, touch, etc. Eg, as a child you learn the language spoken around you, regardless of your genetic background. The EDS population moves “a little funky” due to joint instability. Gives them different input than the non-EDS population, which affects how the brain is formed and how it functions. 

Connective tissue disorders, the input you get from joints moving funny / inappropriately rewires the brain differently than someone who doesn’t have a CTD. Eg, for all people, if you put your arm in a cast, parts of your brain literally shut down because you don’t  activate it enough and don’t get feedback from your arm. We function in a feedback loop from sensory input to motor output, and your whole system, including autonomic and gut, is connected in that cycle. The biggest and most constant input is from resisting gravity and moving your body. We’re always doing both those things, so if your feedback loop is funky, your system is never working quite the way it should. And movement / gravity feedback “kisses” autonomic systems on the way to the brain, hence gut issues, hand mottling, POTS, etc. Do what you can to counteract that, get that feedback loop to improve via other systems. 

DMX (digital motion x-ray) scans can help see what the impact of your daily activities are, eg if you always sleep on one side. Shows what cervical spine does in 9-12 planes of motion. Upright MRIs or CTS may be less clear. Can tell what the neck is doing when they move. 

Romberg’s test. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Romberg's_test

A body with EDS is like a house built with weak mortar. 

Dysautonomic issues with raised heart rate. 90, 100 beats a minute. If you take a beta blocker, you’ve altered the beta receptors on your heart and slowed the heart down, but that doesn’t stop the brain from telling the heart to beat at 100 beats a minute. All your sensory input is still sending odd readings 

At night, most people don’t taste or smell very well; shut them down. (Some are hyper sensitive.) But the proprioceptive is still active—if your arm is at a weird angle, it’s sending that message back to your brain. 

If you’re on a treadmill, and blood isn’t being delivered because you’re “biased toward higher sympathetic tone,” and you’re asking biggest muscles to work, but have vasal constriction going on in your peripheral veins, you’re going to fatigue pretty quickly. You go into anaerobic metabolism: your cells don’t have enough oxygen to work correctly, so you start to break muscle down to get a little fuel—that’s anaerobic. You start firing pain fibers, mostly C fibers, which is what your sympathetic nervous system uses to transmit. So you’re putting lighter fluid on the embers you’re trying to calm. That’s why when you hit your thumb with your hammer, your heart rate goes up; pain fires sympathetic. So we look at the autonomic first and get that under control, then try easy exercises. 

EDSers are often “cut down in their prime”—lots of drive when young, almost superhuman, but that eventually fails, then steep decline. 

[lizacstuff]

Soft™

[giffan]

[aomine-dajki]

[fairchildsbett]

happy birthday, SB🤍

[sweetrupturedlight]

Why does waiting for a Saturday feel longer than waiting for a Wednesday did?

[futaiim]

You guys 😭

[xamala]

please, if you use/save like/reblog the post if you’re a lovely person 🤍 © credits on twitter @petiteyildiz

[originalhybridloverfics]

Bodyguard CH10

A/N: No, your eyes do not deceive you. This is in fact a new chapter. I'm sorry about not updating in what feels like 87 years. I found my way down the Edser rabbit hole and can't find my way back out. I hope you like this chapter.

Felicity looked up as she heard voices and saw Oliver and Digg talking in front of her door.

Her chest tightened at the sight of Oliver.

Over the past few days, she had tried distancing herself from Oliver once she realized her feelings for him were anything but platonic or professional and were growing stronger by the day.

However, it was harder to do than she anticipated. Especially when she was living with him, temporarily, and spent all her time with him.

Still, she did her best to create a distance between them. She made sure whenever they were at the shelter that they were never alone, and when they were at his place, she was careful to not spend any time with him with just the two of them that wasn’t necessary.

She refused group dinners and drinks, she ate breakfast on the go and she kept their talks short and strictly business.

Oliver was persistent of course but she more than held her ground and stuck to her conviction of shutting him out as much as possible.

She knew Oliver didn’t understand why she was pushing him away but she had to do whatever it took to protect herself and right now every survival instinct was telling her she needed to protect every part of herself especially her heart.

Fear was a monster. It was ugly and it was consuming. It crept beneath your skin, shook you to your core, and made you question everything, every decision you make, everyone around you.

It whispered doubts in your head.

Felicity feared the connection between Oliver and herself. It felt stronger every single day he was at her side.

It terrified her.

She was scared that the connection between them would grow strong enough for him to completely break her and she couldn’t shatter again.

It took her forever to pick up the pieces of herself that Cooper had broken.

And even then she was never able to fit her pieces back together perfectly.

Felicity, she was Fractured. Scarred. Damaged.

Oliver deserved better than what she could offer him.

He just hasn’t realized it yet but he will. She was saving them from pain in the long run.

~*~ ~*~ ~*~

Oliver clenched and unclenched his fist repeatedly, looking toward the door impatiently, sitting on a hospital bed.

He had spent half the day trying and failing to figure out why Felicity was suddenly shutting him out and the other half in the gym, training while John took over being Felicity’s full-time guard. Pair her orders.

Had he offended her in some way? Did his concern for her come across as too overbearing?

God, it bothered him that she was pulling away from him. It was like a sledgehammer was slammed into his chest and the feeling wouldn’t go away.

It was awkward as hell when they returned to his home. Felicity barely spoke a full sentence to him or stayed in a room alone with him for more than five minutes.

If he didn’t know better he would think she was afraid of him but that was crazy.

He would never hurt her. She had to know that, right?

His thoughts were going to drive him crazy.

The door to the room opened and in walked Tommy Merlyn. “When I saw your name in my folder, I thought I was seeing things. You hate hospitals.” Tommy looked his friend over. “You don’t look like you require emergency medical treatment.”

Oliver lifted his hands. “They might be broken.”

Oliver fought to keep a straight face. He knew his hands weren’t broken but he wanted an excuse to come to see his friend when he knew Tommy was busy working in the emergency room in the hospital.

Tommy sent him a doubtful look, setting his clipboard down, he pulled on a pair of gloves and reached for Oliver’s hands inspecting them.

“You have some abrasions, and your hands are pretty banged up but they’re not broken.” Tommy started cleaning the blood from his knuckles and applying a healing and disinfectant ointment. “You want to tell me what you’re really doing here?”

“I needed to talk to someone. I need an outsider’s perspective.” Oliver told him.

“And this couldn’t wait till my shift ended?” Tommy inquired, wrapping Oliver’s hands up.

“It could have but I can’t promise I wouldn’t have gone at least a little bit insane from not talking to someone,” Oliver responded.

“Okay,” Tommy laughed. “If you’re that desperate to talk to someone I can spare a little time. What’s on your mind, Ollie?”

“I’ve been working this new job.” Oliver started.

“The bodyguard job for some client or another.” Tommy supplied.

“Right, “ said Oliver. “Anyway, I met this woman and she’s amazing, she’s beautiful, kind, smart and her strength astounds me and it’s complicated, cause she’s the client,”

“Wait, you’re sleeping with your boss?” Tommy said surprised. Oliver had always taken his job seriously and didn’t like to mix his personal life with his business life.

“No, it’s not like that.” Oliver protested. “We’ve never-”

“But you want to?” Tommy interjected.

Of course, Oliver wanted to. He had to be blind and idiot not to but what he felt for Felicity was more than an attraction. He had feelings for her.

And it was so real for him. Maybe the realist thing he’s ever felt for a woman.

The problem was he didn’t know how Felicity felt about him. He knew she was attracted to him but was that all it was for her? He hoped not.

“I like her a lot.” Oliver finally answered.

“If you don’t care that’s she your boss then what’s the problem?” Tommy inquired.

“I think...I think she might be afraid of me.” Oliver hated having to say the words. He hated thinking it but lately, he felt like Felicity was shutting him out to protect herself. From him.

The notion was a jagged blade twisting in his chest, carving him from the inside. ‘

“Afraid of you?” Tommy repeated incredulously. “You would never hurt a woman.”

“I know that but I’m not sure she does,” Oliver confessed. “She’s been hurt before her.”

“Oh,” Tommy said.

“Oh?” Oliver repeated. “Why do you say it like that?”

“Like there’s more meaning behind that one little word.” Oliver insisted.

“When you say hurt, do you mean physically or emotionally?” Tommy questioned.

“Both,” Oliver said after a moment.

“Then I can see why she’s not open to growing closer with you.” At Oliver’s continued look of confusion, Tommy elaborated. “Women with a history of an abusive relationship have a harder time letting any man close again because the last time they did they didn’t just have their heart broken. In most cases, the woman was hurt, emotionally, physically, and mentally. The physical wounds? Those heal if they’re lucky enough to get out but what stays with them the most are the mental wounds.”

“How do you know so much about this?” Oliver questioned in surprise.

“I’ve seen more than a few women come in here after being tossed around by someone they love since working in the ER for the last two years,” Tommy said. “Your girl, Felicity, if she’s purposely creating a distance between you, pushing you away then it is more than like self-preservation on her part. She’s doing whatever she can to protect herself and being alone is probably the only way she knows how to protect her heart.”

“What am I supposed to do?” Oliver asked.

“First, it’s important, you don’t push her,” Tommy advised. “Second, have a frank discussion about your feelings but you have to take her feelings into account, too. Tell her what’s on your mind, find out if she’s scared of you or of getting hurt, try and reassure as much as you can that you would never push her and finally, let her make the first move.”

Oliver nodded. “Okay,” Oliver grabbed up his coat, pulling it on. “Tommy, do you still get women coming in here recently who have been abused.”

“All the time,” Tommy admitted sadly.

Oliver pulled out his wallet and pulled out the business card for the shelter. “Give this to any of the abused women that come in here. It’s a place that can help them. They’ll be protected. Give them a chance at something better.”

Tommy accepted the card. “Do I want to know?”

Oliver patted his friend on the chest. “Thanks for the advice, Tommy.”

“Anytime, now get out of here. I have real emergencies to tend to.” Tommy walked out of the room, calling over his shoulder that a nurse would be in shortly with his discharge papers.

Oliver decided he wasn’t going to wait around for that and walked on out. He had a strategy forming in his mind, now he needed to get a plan together and make it happen.

~*~ ~*~ ~*~

Felicity was surprised when Oliver called asking for the rest of the night off but she allowed calling in one of the recruits to fill in for him.

She wasn’t sure what he was doing but it wasn’t her business what he did with his free time or what he considered important to take time off work for. It didn’t stop her from being curious about it, though.

She didn’t even know if he would be home when Digg drove her back to the apartment at the end of the day.

She said goodnight to Digg who walked her to Oliver’s door and didn’t leave till Felicity was safely inside using the key Oliver had given her.

Felicity shut the door and locked it behind her. Oliver didn’t have one of those state of art security systems which she knew because he believed he was his own security system. Who better to defend his home than himself.

“Oliver?” Felicity called out, walking into his living room. She tossed her bag on the couch took off her coat, throwing it over the back of the couch. She held onto the back as she toed off her shoes.

The smell of food filled the apartment, a delicious aroma that made her stomach grumble with hunger.

“In the kitchen,” Oliver called out.

Felicity walked into the kitchen to find the counter, set nicely for dinner as Oliver set a pan he pulled from the oven in the center, followed by a pan of bread.

“Did you make us dinner?” Felicity asked in surprise.

“I did,” Oliver smiled at her. “And I got you this,” Oliver turned and pulled out a bottle of wine from a container of ice. “Red is your favorite, right?”

“It is.” Felicity felt a flutter in her stomach, a light feeling spreading across her chest. “You didn’t have to do all this for me.”

“I wanted to,” Oliver said, voice soft. “Sit please, everything is almost done.”

Felicity took the seat and watch him move around the kitchen a quiet smile on her lips, momentarily forgetting that she was doing her best to avoid him.

Sometimes the pull to him was just too strong to resist. Like right now.

He was always so at home in the kitchen. There was always this weight he carried on his shoulders, this alertness about him like he was prepared to be attacked at any moment, it wasn’t necessarily a bad thing since it was his job to be ready to fend off an attack but it made Felicity want to pull him in her arms and tell him it was okay to let his guard down sometimes.

That need to assure him everything was fine always left a flash of fear behind. She shouldn’t feel this away about him.

Watching him now, it was like all of that weighed him down and kept alert fell away and she got to see Oliver the man and not Oliver Queen the bodyguard.

“How everything go today? Any new problems?” Oliver asked as he set the table with their filled plates.

“No new problems,” Felicity answered as he poured them some whine. “What did you do today?”

“Let off some steam, visited my friend Tommy, I believe I’ve mentioned him a few times.” Oliver took the seat across from her.

“You did,” Felicity confirmed, she lifted the glass of wine to her lips, tasting the liquid on her tongue, she hummed quietly to herself. “He’s a doctor right?”

Oliver nodded, taking a bite of the bread he made. “He is. Works in the ED.”

“This is the same Tommy from Thea’s stories?” Felicity asked. “Because I gotta say I was still expecting to be more of a wild card.”

“He’s both.” Oliver gave a small laugh. “He’s serious when he needs to be but he lets out that other side of himself after a few drinks but he’s a good man.”

“Much mike yourself,” Felicity said, taking a bite of her food.

Something warmed in Oliver’s chest that Felicity believed him to be a good man. That had to help his case in the larger scheme of things. He opens his mouth to reply but snapped it shut, listening as a sound of pleasure escape Felicity’s lips.

Her eyes were closed as if she was savoring the taste and there was a flush to her cheeks that wasn’t there before, her tongue darted to chase the taste on her lips.

He tightened his hand on his fork as desire shot through him, wanting to hear the sounds she was making, the look of pleasure on her face for a different reason, involving him, and absolutely zero clothing.

Felicity’s eyes fluttered open slow. “Wow, that is really good. I know I said before I really didn’t expect you to be such a good cook. It’s like dining at a five-star restaurant.”

Oliver laughed. He knew his cooking was good but it wasn’t that good. “You don’t have to flatter me, Felicity.”

“This is not flattery, it is fact,” Felicity argued, pointing her fork at him warning him. “Don’t knock what I say. If I say it's the best meal I had in years then it is.”

Oliver held his hands up in surrender, a carefree smile pulling at his lips. “Got it, it’s utterly delicious.”

“Exactly,” Felicity took another bite, her eyes closing as she savored the food.

Oliver wasn’t sure if he was turned on by her utter enjoyment or amused that she was so vehement that it was as good as she thought.

Oliver spent most of the meal just gazing at Felicity, enjoying just being in her presence. Felicity excluded this light and he felt it cut through his darkness.

Felicity offered to clear the table and do the clean-up. Oliver was quick to tell her she didn’t have to, he would take care of it but Felicity insisted in the end they compromised and ended up, doing it together.

“So, I was thinking that tomorrow I was going to go out and look for something bigger for everyone to move to, I figured I take you and Digg with me. I could use both of your expertise because we want somewhere that’s fortified, somewhere that’s big, something that can give them home and not feel like they're being locked away for their safety.”

“We can have Slade looked after everyone while we’re out.” Oliver agreed as they washed dishes. “I think I might have an idea about where we can look. I need to make some calls first.”

Felicity place the last dish in the cabinet and dried her hands. “Really? That’s great. The sooner we find somewhere the better.”

“I agree,” Oliver said. “Now that we have business out of way, I was hoping we could talk.”

“Talk about what?” Felicity's brow furrowed.

“I know things have gotten a bit tense between us,” Oliver began, turning toward Felicity, he took her hand in his and stepped closer. “I know you think I’m being over-protective but that’s not it, it’s more than that. This job isn’t a job for me. I want to protect you, I want to help people. it’s who I am.”

“I know,” Felicity nodded, looking up at his earnest blue eyes. “Who you are is why I feel like I can trust you and trust isn’t easy for me. I trust you more than I thought was possible.”

But still, there were things she would never trust in a man again. It wasn’t Oliver's fault. It is what it is.

Oliver copper her cheek and his warmth soaked into her skin, making her feel at home. “Do you trust that you mean more to me than a job?”

Felicity’s heart skipped a beat in her chest. “Oliver,” she whispered. She didn’t think he would address this thing between them so head-on.

Oliver fell to the look in her eyes, the way she said his name. Like a prayer.

He closed the distance between and pressed his mouth to Felicity’s. He felt her tense, her body freezing up and he cursed himself.

He shouldn’t have done that.

But then suddenly, he felt Felicity’s lips pressing back against his.

He pulled back to look into her eyes, see her reaction.

Her cheeks were flushed, eyes bright.

“Felicity,” he whispered, voice low.

Felicity surged forward grasping his face in her hands and pulled his mouth back to hers.

Oliver groaned, he wrapped his arms around, pulling her flush against his front.

She was so small in his arms but so perfect, he licked at the seam of her lips. His tongue sweeping inside when she opened for him, tasting her mouth as her hands fisted his shirt and smooth up his arms, gripping his biceps.

He secured his hand across her waist and lifted her, sitting her on the counter.

He tilted her head back deepening their kiss, pulling her hair free from her ponytail and running his hands through her long strands.

Felicity’s hand moved over his back, hiking her legs up to wrap around his waist, pushing him closer.

Her hands dove into his hair, beneath slipping beneath his shirt. He didn’t care that her fingers trail across his skin. All he could think about was her skin pressed against his, her hands exploring her body.

He slipped one hand beneath her shirt, her skin was soft as he slid up her ribs, and gripped her pulling her forward and grounding his hips against her, desiring shooting through him.

Felicity gave a gasp and then she was placing her hand on his chest and pushing him back. “Stop, we can’t do this.”

Her words like ice on his skin. He stopped immediately, removing his hands from her body. “Felicity, I-”

“We can’t do this,” Felicity repeated, she pushed at him again and he took a step back giving her the space she wanted.

Felicity jumped down from the counter and ran her hand through her hair. “This can’t happen, Oliver. It’s important that we keep this professional.”

Oliver could see the way her hand shook, and how she avoided looking at him. Everything inside of him was telling him that she was scared. Scared of feeling something for someone? Scared of feeling something real. Scard to give her heart to someone again.

“I don’t think I can do that. It’s hard to be professional when you want to be with someone.” Oliver said, wanting Felicity to know how he felt. “I feel like we’ve been skirting around the attraction between us and I’m tired of pretending that I don’t have feelings for you.”

Felicity shook her head. “Oliver, you don’t know what you’re saying.”

“Yes, I do. I know how I feel about you and no one can tell me what I feel. I think I know my own heart.”

“You don’t want me, Oliver,” Felicity felt tears gather in her eyes but she refused to cry. “I’m damaged. I won’t ever be good for you. You are amazing and can do so much better than someone who still has nightmares about a piece of shit ex.”

“Don’t talk about yourself like that,” Oliver said vehemently. “You're the most amazing woman I have ever known. You're beautiful and smart and resilient and have a strength inside of you that I have never known, Any man in the world would be lucky to have you. I want to be that man.”

“No, you don’t.” Felicity shook her head and took a step away from him.

Oliver wanted to pull her closer but it was clear by the way she wrapped her arms around herself she didn’t want to be touch in any way and he was going to respect that.

“I get it you’re scared, you’ve been heart in ways I can’t imagine, you were betrayed by someone you loved and nothing I say will change that but you don’t have to be afraid of me. I would never hurt you. I would rather die than to ever see you hurt let alone be the cause of your pain. Please, don’t turn away from this because you're scared I’ll be like him. I could never be like him.”

Felicity’s heart clenched painfully. Oliver’s words while meant to be reassuring were the opposite. He was making very clear how deeply he cared for her and it only made this harder for her.

“I know you won’t hurt me.” Felicity's voice shook with the effort not to cry, to stay strong. “I know you’re not like Cooper but I can’t let you get close. I can’t care about you so much that I let you have power over me.”

If Cooper taught her anything it was love meant having power over someone and she couldn’t let that happen again no matter what she felt for Oliver.

“I can’t do it.” Felicity felt herself breaking inside and was becoming increasingly difficult to keep it together. “I won’t.”

Oliver shook his head. Love wasn’t having power over someone. It was giving yourself to someone, it was caring for someone, it was putting their wellbeing and happiness before your own. It was trusting them with all you have. Your heart, your body, your soul, everything that made you who you are.

“I don’t want to have power over you, Felicity,” Oliver said earnestly. He needed to be open with her but he also had to let her make the choice of what happened next. “I want to be your strength. I want to be the pillar that holds you up when you need some help. I want to be the person you turn to but more than anything I want to love you and I want you to let me.”

His words were so beautiful and God, Felicity wanted to let Oliver be all those things but she couldn’t. “I’m sorry but I can’t. I just can’t.” She could no longer keep her tears in as they slide down her cheeks. “I’m sorry.”

A/N: I hope you like the chapter. The next Olicity update will be I Can't Let Her Die.

Thank you to everyone still here, reading my fics even though I take forever to update.

Tags: @mariestark @memcjo

Sorry about the lack tags but I lost my tag list for this story and can't remember all who wanted to be tag for this. Feel free to remind me if you want to be tagged so I can create a new list accordingly.

[djemsostylist]

I watched 38 with subs. Here are my thoughts:

5 Things I Liked:

Our babies were back! Chemistry, cuteness, touches, characterization--this felt like our episode 12/13 Edser with a mix of 26-28 Edser for good measure.

Our ensemble cast was back. They were funny, supportive, and their group scenes were genuinely funny. This cast is at its best when they are allowed to shine together.

We have a new character that I don't hate and may not actually be evil or trying to hook up with Serkan.

Selin is gone (thank you god) and Deniz may be gone?

Serkan wore jeans

5 Things I Didn't Like:

Our babies were--weird. Look, they were cute and precious as they ever have bee. But this Edser felt like pre 28 Edser. pre 27 Edser. Hell, it felt like pre 17 Edser. Because they were engaged. Eda had moved in, they were hours away from marriage and then Serkan died. He died and he didn't come back for months. And she was forced to watch as a shell of the man she loved was abandoned, manipulated and abused bc she lost all of her agency and power. And then, finally, they get each other back and their response is to--I'm not sure? Get tattoo wedding rings that mean--we don't know what? Have an adorable dance in the rain that leads to--Eda having a sleep over bc I don't think they are living together but it's unclear? Eda focusing on work while Serkan has a meltdown bc he thinks he's dying...and doesn't want to tell her? Serkan Bolat finds out he has a tumor and he isn't calling the best doctors in the world to make sure he can have the rest of his life with Eda? Eda Yildiz finally gets back the love of her life and she isn't clinging to him and never letting go? Are we even going to discuss the rejected marriage proposal? Are we talking about the fact that they both spent months in hell and lost each other and themselves in the process and were abandoned by the people who were supposed to care for them most? Are we forgetting that they were literally hours away from spending the rest of their lives together and now they are...I don't know? Are we just accepting cute Edser and forgetting that SCK ever had plot and meaning?

Our ensemble cast was back. Just like that. Weeks of everyone except for Ferit and Melo just being completely okay with both Serkan and Eda completely sabotaging both of their lives (and in some cases actively helping them down ruinous paths) and it's just like...well, they are back and cute and Piril liked Eda's tattoo so I guess it's all okay again.

We have a new character, and I don't know what his purpose is. He seems sweet and harmless, but also Aydan had a direct hand in ruining not only her child's life, but also the life of the woman he entrusted to her to keep safe for him. I don't care about her happiness.

We were tortured by Selin for over 8 weeks, and it amounted to "sorry I claimed to have abused you while you were mentally compromised and convinced you that you were gonna be a father and almost ruined your life, peace out" which, considering how far they had her go, is about the weakest possible exit for a villain ever. I understand that perhaps they wanted to go easy on Bige, considering what she is dealing with in her personal life, but there is a way to give Selin the exit she deserves and also go easy on the actress. Don't get me wrong, I'm glad to see her go, but this isn't a case of "oh, an ex girlfriend is leaving", Selin actively worked to ruin the lives of two people over and over again, she took advantage of a person who was recovering from trauma, and her send off had the same fanfare as any one of the countless villains who went nowhere and achieved nothing.

Eda also wore jeans, and the level of hideousness in terms of pants and shoes that we have reached with her at this point is truly unmatched.

I think for me, the key to going forward is to turn off my brain. The facts are, SCK has been on a downhill trend since arguably episode 13, and definitely since 21. There have been magical moments and episodes I wouldn't trade since then (notably 17, 20, 26-27 and most of 28, parts of 16&18) but as a whole...it lost its direction and focus and characters somewhere along the way. It was easier to pretend that plot didn't matter back when the worst thing that had happened was Serkan lying about how Eda's parents died. But with months of pain and torture and manipulation and loss and it's hard to just pretend. But I suppose if I'm going to enjoy SCK going forward, and by that I mean Edser, I am going to have stop thinking about plot, character motivation, connectivity. Maybe a second season will revive the SCK we loved, and we won't just have to hope for a series of loosely connected Edser scenes with no real meaning. 38 is only 2.0's second real episode since they left the first time, and they were left with a hell of a mess. Granted, some of it was a mess they started, but I'm convinced they had no intention of the amnesia plot playing out the way it did. So maybe with a break and some time, we will get back to a show that has purpose and meaning. Maybe next week, with Edser finally running away the way they should have three episodes ago, we will finally get meaningful conversations about their future AND their past. But for now, I guess I'm glad that at least I can watch the show again without hating our mains and wanting to throw things at the screen, so I'll take what I can get. And vow to never watch another Turkish romcom again 🤣

[acertainsomeone]

scintilla of love - EdSer Oneshot

Summer House

Their first time. It was memorable. It was special. It always will be.

Eda’s heart skipped a beat when Serkan called her to meet him at the summer house. She almost thought that he remembered everything but no. He didn’t sound like her Serkan. There was something odd with his voice but she could tell he wasn’t back.

Eda anticipated his reason to call her throughout her way from home to their summer house.

Did he know he gifted her the house right after their first time?

What if he called her to ask it back?

Serkan had been so rude and cruel that she could expect anything from him. She couldn’t understand how his behavior varied from time to time. One moment he would be reminding her of Old Serkan, the one she fell for. She would feel hope that maybe his memory is coming back. But the very next moment he would be uttering those words that pierced her soul like a poisonous dagger.

Was he cruel enough to take away all memories back?

But he returned the ring to her

He hugged Selin in front of you Eda, He said that she is his sunshine

But you were his fairy.

Not anymore.

STOP OVERTHINKING.

She tried to force herself that Serkan had called her for work but this sounded quite wrong, to call your business partner at a secluded place.

Anyhow, Eda reached the Summer House, bracing herself for what was yet to come.

*****

“Serkan!” Eda shrieked in panic. This isn’t what she expected. Of all the assumptions she made, this was not in her mind. He was sitting on the sofa, injured; his hands were bleeding and it seemed that he had hit himself on his head.

She rushed towards him and held his face in her hands.

His eyes.

Eda winced, what happened Serkan. What is this all about?”

He looked at her apologetically, he had been crying for sure. He never cried. The last time he cried was when his brother died but not after that.

Even Eda knew that it was rare for Serkan to shed a tear especially because he told her once that she filled his life with so much happiness that he could not bring himself to think about anything worse.

“Why are you sitting like this, why haven’t you put an ointment? Serkan I’m so done with you being so careless about everything. I thought you were the hypochondriac one here.” her outburst was rapid, and she was this close to having a panic attack. Ever since his plane accident, Eda became even more paranoid about his health .

Why wasn’t he saying something

“Hadi, get up, you must be in pain.”

“Not as much as you.” he whispered, almost inaudible. She looked at him disbelievingly. For sure, he hadn’t remembered anything yet because otherwise she would have known.

What was it then? What happened?

“Serkan, we will talk about this later on, tamam mi? Come on now, You’re bleeding for God’s sake.”

He held her fingers possessively, and Eda’s heart almost stopped beating. He was in pain. Something had happened and he had-

Did he

“SERKAN, did you hurt yourself on purpose, you-”

“Yok” He shook his head immediately. “I wasn’t in my senses while coming here and had a minor accident. Trust me, it wasn’t intentional.”

Eda tried to read his expressions. But all she could decipher was pain.

“Would you ever be able to forgive me?” “Not as someone whom you loved but just as a human?”

“Serkan what you’re scaring me please tell me what happened”

He sighed a long heavy breath.

“Selin was the first friend I ever had, even before Engin, Piril and Sirius. We were family friends, She was always around. When my brother died, the only person who ensured to remain in contact was Selin. She was my friend and a confidant. She knew me. And I always trust her. Just like we would trust someone we know since childhood. I would never doubt her. Never. Maybe, this is exactly why I decided to call her when I opened my eyes in hospital that day. It wasn’t my mother or my father because they were the ones who had abandoned me, once. It wasn’t Engin or any other friend because that moment in the hospital, I felt exactly like the day my parents had sent me to boarding school. I don’t know if I ever told you, but Selin was the only one who remained in contact with me when I was at my boarding school . She was the one who bothered to ask me how I was.-”

“Serkan,, why are you telling this” Eda whispered in concern.

She was not bothered by whatever he said, she knew most of it. She knew Selin had been an important part of his life.

She knew he had never loved her but she was a significant person who once helped him escape his traumas. Eda wanted him to stop because it was painful for him to revive those memories. She knew he always disliked talking about those days spent right after his brother’s death, in that school, away from his parents.

“Hear me out Eda, you need to know. I don’t know why but you should know that the Serkan who forgot about your existence called Selin only because he trusted her enough.”

“I know, you don’t have to tell me about this. Serkan, we need to-”

“I’m your delinquent.”

“Serkan, I never blamed you for forgetting me. You had an accident, trust me not even for once I held you accountable. Forgetting me, forgetting us wasn’t in your hands. Yes, I am mad at you, you rile me up with your antics because you haven’t been trying to remember anything, In fact you- you.” She stopped, unable to finish her sentence. It might’ve been wrong to say it right now. She had saved this conversation for some other day.

“I hurt you. Intentionally. Eda, I knew what I was doing. It was insensitive, barbaric and utterly ruthless of me to stick to selin when I knew that you were in love with, when I knew that I had left you few hours before our wedding.”

“I’ll never be able to forgive myself for that.”

Eda remained numb, he had said what was in her heart all this time. But wasn’t she doing the same?

“I know your decision to get engaged to Selin was as impulsive as mine, Serkan.”

“And I know both of us tried to get close to our fiancé’s only to spite each other.” “You were doing it for love, but I- I was just being a dick.”

“Why does it matter Serkan? What happened and what has changed?”

“Everything.”

“Tonight- I got to know that the friend I had trusted since childhood, the one I thought would never deceive me has been responsible for everything”

“i don’t understand”

“I had been following the medicine prescribed by Selin’s doctor. He was the one looking after me ever since she rescued me from the hospital. It was until today that I somehow felt the need to go to another doctor, something didn’t feel right. I had been having these flashbacks but the doctor and selin didn’t correspond. And turns out my medicines have been tampered”

“You are still on medication?!” She gasped

“Evet. There are things I cant do and I need to take double dosage to work properly.”

“Why would she do that? I mean of course she wants you back, but why continue the fake meds when your memory isn’t coming back anyways?”

“Thats the thing, it is coming back or more precisely I have been having flashbacks. Selin knew. I told her. Bak Eda I’m sorry for-”

“Serkan, I’m not expecting you to come to me and telling me about those flashbacks anyways.”

“Eda, I know I have a lot to do, I have to make it up to you, not as the man you loved but as someone you knew, as a human. Because what I did, what I have been doing was inhumane. I had no right to hurt you like this.” “For now, all that’s on my mind is that we need to avenge her. I am not letting her get away with this easily, she had no right to ruin our lives.”

They looked at each other with longing . Eda felt close to him yet distanced. She wanted him back , she wanted him to love her like before but for now this was important. Selin has crossed her limits this time and she would not let her ruin their lives anymore.

“I’m with you in this- together.” She smiled at him and held his hand in hers . Serkan impulsively rubbed his index on her star.

For the first time in months they saw some hope. A hope to fix everything.

“Btw why did you go to Dilek Hanim again?” She asked while tending to his bruises

He blushed and wished that Eda wouldn’t notice. “Heart burn” he paused

“It isn’t serious, she said I need to take my vitamins properly”

Eda smirked sheepishly. “I get it . You’ve had those heartburns before. Not a big deal, we’ll fix it too.”

He did not know what she mean but whatever it was both knew it had to do something with her. His mind forgot but his heart couldn’t.

When you are left with nothing

It’s love that calls us back

It’s love that puts you at sleep

It’s love that brings you comfort

When you are defeated it’s love that means everything

Thus, we never give up on people we love

[mrsgreenworld]

Okay, here it comes: the continuation of A Pleasant Surprise. The morning after Eda comes to Serkan in nothing but a leather coat. And because I will forever be an Olicity shipper I have borrowed one of their lines that will always be one of my favourites and the scene where it was used - one of the best Olicity scenes. If there are any Arrow and Olicity fans reading this, let me know if you find which line I am talking about (well, wouldn't be that hard given how short this is 😁)

The piece of dialogue as well as the characters don't belong to me. Arrow and Olicity belong to the Arrow writers and DC. Just as Edser belong to the SCK writers, the production company and FOX TV. This is only fanfiction.

_____________________________________________

A Pleasant Surprise: The Morning After

Serkan stirred awake. He sighed deeply and, without opening his eyes, reached out with his left arm to pull Eda closer. When the palm of his hand came in contact with smooth bare skin, his eyes popped open. Eda was lying on her stomach on the opposite side of the bed - too far to Serkan's liking - with her head turned towards Serkan, hair falling in dark waves over her eyes and all over her face. Serkan's eyes drifted to his own hand, now resting on the curve of Eda's waist. Her entire back was exposed, the sheet, covering both of them, thrown only over her legs and her behind, with the tops of her butt cheeks actually left on display. Serkan's mouth went dry when he zeroed in on a tiny little birthmark right over the left globe. He moved his hand from her waist, running his fingers across the small of her back. Eda stirred immediately, mumbling something in her sleep quietly. Serkan pulled himself up, leaning on his right elbow, and moved closer to Eda. He ran his thumb over the birthmark, thrilled at the goosebumps that broke over her skin, following the path his thumb was making. He leaned over and pressed his lips to the tiny spot. Eda stirred again with a sleepy "Hmm". A smile pulled at Serkan's lips. He moved, resting his chin on his right hand and slowly, teasingly ran the fingers of his left hand up Eda's spine. Eda responded to the touch with a small moan, which turned Serkan's smile into a full-blown grin. He kept on caressing Eda's back, watching his fingers move over her skin, when he heard Eda mumble something ending with his name.

"Huh? What was that?" he asked her with a smile, shifting on the bed to hear her better.

"Sen..." Eda whispered.

"What?"

"Seni çok seviyorum, Serkan Bolat..."

His fingers froze, his heart stopped and his next breath got stuck in his throat. While he knew that their feelings were mutual, Eda had confirmed this fact with these exact words, she, however, had never made an open confession. She had never said "I love you" to his face and looking into his eyes. Which she wasn't really doing right now either. Just sleep-talking?

"Hey! Eda..."

Serkan leaned over her, moving the strands of hair from her eyes and face in order to get a better look at her.

"Eda?.. "

"Yes?..."

"Good morning"

Eda blinked her eyes open slowly. She shifted slightly so that she was now lying on her side, facing Serkan.

"Good morning" she answered with a sleepy smile.

She put her hand on his cheek and Serkan covered it with his own.

"You... You were talking in your sleep..." he said, nervously licking his suddenly dry lips.

"I wasn't asleep when I said that" Eda told him, looking straight into his eyes.

The whole damn universe exploded in front of Serkan.

"So you..."

"Love you? Yes. So, so much"

Eda moved even closer, forcing Serkan to roll onto his back. She swung her leg over his hips and adjusted her position so that she was straddling him, with literal nothing between them. Serkan felt certain parts of him stirring awake. Eda put both of her hands on his cheeks, her bare breasts pressed firmly to his equally bare chest.

"I love you, Serkan Bolat. You're it for me, you know? Nothing's gonna change that. No matter what happens, you will always be the love of my life"

Serkan felt his eyes sting with happy tears and his face break into the widest grin ever.

He surged forward, claiming Eda's lips, his hands roaming her bare back, not knowing where to settle. He finally stopped at her hips, pressing her more into him, letting her feel just how happy he was. Eda whimpered into his mouth, granting him more access and the opportunity to chase her tongue. When they finally came up for air, Serkan looked into Eda's eyes and uttered his not first and definitely not the last:

"I love you"

He then rolled them over and proceeded to show Eda just how much he meant the words.

[lizacstuff]

[ladylillianrose]

Thoughts on Episode 11 (take 2):

SPOILERS BELOW!!

Alright I’ll get this out there right now…OMG OMG OMG OMG!!! AHHHHHHHH!!! ASDFGHJKL!!!

I haven’t fangirl squeed like this since the Max/Zoey moments in Episode 12 (Zoey’s Extraordinary Playlist)!!

*deep breaths* okay I’m calm….for the moment.

I’ll go into everything else before I touch on Serkan and Eda.

I really really really hate how Selin treats Ferit, he deserves better, someone who truly loves him. Honestly I’m kind of hoping he will decide to leave Selin at the altar. A man can only be ignored for another man so many times before he’s done!

Ayfer’s reaction to the contract is a bit over the top, granted she didn’t have all the facts, but still it’s not as though they eloped and are actually married. Especially because she is now deceiving Eda with the scholarship money, which we all know Eda will find out the truth about.

Aydan’s talk with Eda is not terribly surprising all things considered. Yes they’ve grown close and Eda has helped them all, but Aydan is not a woman who embraces change. Selin is the model wife for Serkan, she will listen to whatever Aydan says and wants (something Eda does not do), and because Serkan is not in love with Selin their marriage should ve “safe” from heartaches. Aydan wants to keep her only child close and to protect him from the world, even at the cost of losing the woman he loves.

I’m glad all the girls know the truth now, it was hard for Eda to deceive everyone, though in the end she wasn’t acting anymore, she does love Serkan. But it was causing a strain on the friendship so I’m pleased that they all made up.

I love Eda and Leyla’s relationship. Eda has helped Leyla grow and Leyla has gotten easier and I’m 100% here for sassy/snarky Leyla!

I really do love Engin, he’s just so sweet but clueless when it comes to the women in his life.

So I realized writing my last post that Engin is in a similar situation to Sekan with the two women in his life. On the one hand there is the woman who they’ve known, worked with a d been friends with for years, who has feelings for them (Piril/Selin). And on the other you have the newcomer who helps pull them out of their shell, gets to know the real them outside of work (Engin claims to have a life outside of work, but we have yet to see proof if it), and they are so different from the other women in their lives like a breath of fresh air (Ceren/Eda).

I hope that Engin forgives Ceren because I like them together, they’re adorable and sweet together.

Alptekin’s bombshell, wow, I mean WOW! It definitely sheds light onto why Eda doesn’t want her grandmother’s money. They say the money is Eda’s by right, which it would be since she lost both her parents. It would also explain why Eda and her grandmother do not speak, Eda would see taking the money as a betrayal to her parent’s memories. If Alptekin covered it all up, he would have paid an exorbitant amount of money to the family to keep it from being investigated or in the news (something neither family would want as it would be unseemly). Eda views the money as blood/hush money, gotten at the cost of her parent’s lives, so she wants no part of it. I think this will make the fact that Ayfer went to her mother for the money for Eda, a bigger issue for Eda, with Ayfer going behind her back against her wishes.

The way Ayfer insists that Eda have nothing to do with any of the Bolat’s makes me wonder if she knows that the holding is responsible for the death of Eda’s parents and that Alptekin is the one who arranged to have it covered up.

Now onto our favorite couple!!

The interlocked hands and cheek kiss in front of Selin and Ferit were just so natural, they both forgot that they were just playing parts.🥰🥰

Telling Serkan’s fortune with the song? Oh yes most assuredly, and of course now we have the reason for the show name (apparently it is also Piril’s actress doing the singing, which is lovely and awesome)

I love Ceren and Engin offering advice and the parallel shots/dialogue. Engin is really trying to get Serkan to realise that Eda does love him!

Ugh and the sleeping on “their” sides of the bed with the picture and guitar pick?😭😭😭 Also I love that the picture is from when they had to “make up” after a “fight” on the balcony while the girls listened in. You know Melo was the one to take the picture, print it out and give it to him (I love her and Serkan’s relationship!)

Lmao at the watch coming back! Always beeping around Eda, despite his claims that the watch is broken he still wears it 🤣🤣😉

The doctor’s rose house and story were so lovely and beautiful. That is totally going to be their home together, he had her designing the house and gardens to what she would want. She even said she would want to live in a house like that (so would I!). He could use it once it’s all fixed as the place to truly propose!🥰🥰🥰

Serkan desperately trying to keep Eda at his side in the office. He’s just so sure that she wants to get away from him because she doesn’t like him. 🥺🥺🥺

Bless Seyfi for always looking out for team Edser! He knows who and what Serkan needs! (If this was Shakespeare, Seyfi would be Robin Goodfellow/Puck bringingnour lovers together). And Eda dropping everything to be at his side.

Also Eda telling Selin she would stay with him, despite Selin saying that Serkan likes to be alone when he is sick. Selin may have known him for longer, but she only knows the facade that Serkan puts up to keep people at a distance. Eda knows the real Serkan, he trusts her and is open with her in a way he isn’t with anyone else.

Telling one another’s fortunes with pages from The Little Prince was so sweet (made me want to go back and read it again since it’s been at least 20 years since I last read it).

Serkan’s painful memories 😭😭😭🥺🥺🥺. My heart aches for him so. I feel for the whole family, but he was so young and he needed love and support, but instead was sent away. It sheds light on why he’s so reserved with his emotions and trust, and I hope he will be able to share the whole story with Eda (and us) someday.

“Eda do not leave me.” “I’ll go too. Wherever you want.” 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥰🥰🥰🥰 Serkan is so vulnerable here. And of course he doesn’t remember any of it until it’s almost too late!!!

Eda telling Selin the truth, ugh my heart 💔💔💔. And then looking like she might faint from the stress and heartbreak of it (though she’s fainted less and less with Serkan around to help with her anxiety/stress, though he has caused his fair share too!)

I was wondering when we would get to see Sirius again! Sweet boy just wants Mom and Dad to be happy together. And Serkan trying to use Sirius as an excuse to see Eda again😭😭😭

Serkan giving us a heart attack calling Selin to meet him. I don’t think he ever intended to say yes to Selin, he was just stalling for more time till he could come up with a different solution. I certainly hope Selin gets a bit of a backbone after this realizing that she needs to stop dropping everything for Serkan (even when it isn’t him doing the calling/asking).

Serkan making the taxi pullover, declaring that Eda is his bride, and taking charge!😍😍😍🔥🔥🔥 Serkan is always hot, but there is something about him taking control that is just 🔥🔥🔥🥵🥵🥵

Asking about packing flip flops in her suitcase because it is so light 🤣🤣🤣. Serkan mark my words she will get you in a pair of flip flops someday!

The confession🥰🥰🥰 so complete them, arguing, talking about how Serkan can’t get her out of his head! ❤❤

And finally a real kiss!!! All their other almost kisses (and the first kiss) are so charged with UST (which I love), but this one was so sweet, loving and romantic!😍😍😍😍

Now I’m off to watch the end of the episode and the fragman for 12 on repeat until next Wednesday!!

Alright I think that was everything I had written before. If not I’m sure I’ll add some random posts later lol.