#eizawrites

[hephaestuss]

0.0 five times kissed 4 whoeva

i.

you remember the first time you kiss her, or more accurately, the first time she kisses you. you remember the way she pulled you into her room, soft lips pressed to yours before you could even fathom what was going on. you remember the surprised cry dying in the back of your throat, you remember melting into the kiss. you remember that she’s your best friend’s sister, but you don’t care, you remember never having wanted anything more in your life. most all, you remember how all the voices in your head died as you kissed her back. it was the first time you felt yourself swimming to the surface underneath a sea of noise, shouting at you to do more, be more, to chase perfection.

and in an instant, it’s over. she pulls away with a smile and a mischievous glint in her eyes and, for a moment, everything is calm. then, it all comes flooding back to you. she’s your best friend’s sister, she’s your best friend’s sister. even if the both of you wanted to, there’s too many things in the way. you can’t, you couldn’t, and you shouldn’t. but even as you stood there, dazed and confused, a part of you knew that there would never be anyone else.

“i just wanted to see what it was like.”

“you’re josh’s sister, that can’t happen again.”

ii.

years pass by with more hidden kisses along the way, you can’t seem to escape and you don’t want to either. this girl is an angel, you can’t help but to stare at her like she put the sun in the sky. and somewhere along the way, you’ve become friends despite your own friendship with her brother. it comes in the form of photography, a quiet art form that no one else seems to understand but her. it turns into quiet hangouts in her room (the very same one where you shared your first kiss), yours (barren and free of mess compared to hers, robotic almost), and your living rooms (where your best friend and hers can see).

you nearly choke when she brings up the potential of her first time (and yours), she wants to be with someone that she trusts and someone who actually cares about her. if you don’t, some asshole will and you can’t rationalize letting her lose it to someone who’ll just carry the idea of it around like some sort of trophy. you can’t stand the idea of someone else having her, if you’re being honest, but you can’t tell her that. you can’t tell her that you’ve been in love with her since the first time the two of you kissed.

so you concede. the kisses start out tentative, you don’t subscribe to the idea that kisses should automatically be electric with fireworks. it’s simply not realistic. your first time is full of nervous laughter on both your parts and shaking hands (this one is mostly you). you want to worship her body the way that you were always meant to, but you’re young and dumb and you promise yourself if it ever happens again, you’ll know what to do next time. 

afterwards, you leave because you know you shouldn’t have taken advantage of her like that. you leave, because she’s your best friend’s sister and you’re just not good enough for her.

iii.

you become her crutch, the person she calls in the middle of the night when her best friend isn’t picking up the phone, the person who is always there for her, no matter the circumstance. you become her best friend and you’re sure that she sees you as nothing else but that, it’s pure torture. but you love her and you want to be a part of her life for as long as she’ll have you, the least you could do is watch out for her.

which is how you find yourself parked outside of an apartment across town, waiting for her to leave someone else’s bed. the thought of it makes you clench the steering wheel tighter than before, but if this is what makes her happy, you would never stand in the way of that. you watch her exit the building and greet you with a soft smile, you can tell she’s grateful and tired. you can see the light flickering inside of her, like she’s at war with her thoughts as she climbs into your passenger seat. your leg shakes with anxiousness as you really look at her: she’s still an angel, but her halo is dim and you’d do anything you can to fix that. so you reach over and take her hand in yours, her gaze averting to yours at the touch. it’s automatic, the way the both of you lean into each other and the hungry way your lips mesh. even then, you can taste the alcohol and him on her tongue. you pull away before it becomes something the both of you will regret, but you grip her hand tighter.

“i don’t want to go home.”

so you drive all night with the girl you love, blasting music with the windows down just so you could see her smile again.

iv.

it’s late afternoon and you’re in her bed with polaroids strewn around the both of you, limbs tangled together as you blink away the sleep from your eyes. you know she hasn’t been feeling well lately, so you did what you always did and brought her favorite comfort foods and movies over with the offer of that and an impromptu photoshoot. she falls asleep after an hour into the movie, her face pressed against your neck and a hand on your stomach. there was no where else you’d rather be and no one else you’d rather be with, you’d stay like this forever if you could.

when her eyes finally flutter open again, the movie is long over and she gives you a lazy grin and a laugh. you’re suddenly glad for the privacy, because she looks so perfect then and there that you could kiss her. but you can’t take advantage of her again, not when she’s so vulnerable and soft in your arms. this is your best friend’s sister... and your best friend. you can’t ruin the friendship, you can’t risk the two most important relationships in your life because you’re in love with this angel of a girl.

but even then, you can feel her eyes searching yours as her hand creeps up to your heart. you know she can feel the erratic way it beats as your breath grows heavy, just like how her halo dims, yours does too.

and you sin. you achingly kiss the girl that you tell yourself you can never be with feverishly. this time, you taste the peanut butter cups you brought earlier, you feel the way she climbs onto your lap, you tell yourself this is the last time, and you feel yourself falling deeper and deeper.

how could something so wrong feel so right?

vi. 

“what are we?”

this is a question you’ve never known how to answer, something you wish she’d never asked. she’s your best friend’s sister and your best friend. she’s the girl you’ve been in love with since the first time the two of your kissed. she’s the girl you see in your dreams at night. she’s the only girl you want to spend the rest of your life with. and you just don’t know how to tell her that you don’t ever think you’ll be good enough to be with her, you don’t know how to tell her that the voices inside your head are screaming at you to run because perfect boys shouldn’t want their best friend’s sisters.

you’ve never been the brave or courageous sort, you’re the voice of logic and reasoning in this ragtag group of friends you call your family. you know that telling her the truth will upset the balance that everyone has worked so hard to achieve, but you’ve spent your formative years and beyond holding this secret close to your chest. you feel like you might actually fucking burst if you don’t say anything now.

“i don’t know.”

that’s the best that you can choke out, your mind screams at you for this. after all, perfect boys should know everything. your heart, however, screams even louder. tell her, tell her, tell her, it shouts with every beat. if you don’t tell her now, you lose it all and nothing fucks you up more than the thought of watching her marry someone else because you were too much of a fool to say something when the both of you stopped trying to beat around the figurative bush.

“i don’t know, but i’m yours. i’ve always been yours, billie.”

and just like that, she’s running to you. you collide into each other again, a mix of desperation, joy, and relief. you crash into each other and the voices in your head fall silent again.

she’s your best friend’s sister, yes, but she’s also the love of your life.

[kazualbrekkuparchive]

cel & fletcher: [text] Did I tell you today that you’re the most adorable? Cause, yeah. / [text] I can’t stop thinking about you. / [text] Come over. With condoms. / [text] Sex on a rooftop - trashy or adventurous? / [drunk text] Please don’t hate me I’m too tired and too dizzy to be hated

cc: @hephaestuss

[text] Did I tell you today that you’re the most adorable? Cause, yeah

-you diiiid tell me before leaving for class i think!!!!-but thank youuu -you know i love you so much!!!!!

[text] I can’t stop thinking about you

-oh wow-me neither honestly-i just didn’t think it’d be the same for u or cara-when can i see you?

[text] Come over. With condoms.

-im in class rn!!!-ahhhhh in fact i’ll be over in 5-u know ive never missed class for sex, first time for everything right

[text] Sex on a rooftop - trashy or adventurous?

-ohhhhh definitely adventurous!!-oh wait, this was an invite right?? i think-anyway if not feel free to never talk abt this w me again oh my god

[drunk text] Please don’t hate me I’m too tired and too dizzy to be hated

-what are you talking about??-i could never hate you-where are you, i’ll come pick you up

[phenomeniall]

eizawrites replied to your post “it’s ya girl iso more plots. lms of mssg me if you see something ya...”

everyone rp w Meagan if i lov to cry and also die over ur ships

in case u wanna plot n u gotta check my references first!!!

[binxrps]

steph

idk anyone w that name????????????????

jk steph is my favorite steph and the only steph i kno i think???? im sure ive known another one but i cant remember one rn but my experience is ive known steph since some hot mess rp we wer all in in the dinosaur ages and elly and i were blesst bc she’s here now and she writes great characters even if catherine needs to chill and her lov for shrek and snax is really admirable !! 

send me names anonymously and I’ll share my personal experience with the person with that name

[trcshqueen]

eizawrites replied to your post: dföjdsfä i forgot christmas is over and i still...

Fk same

im not the only mess on my dashboard bless

[kazualbrekkuparchive]

okay but also audrey & aRIES! [MSG]: Did you have fun with you-know-who last night? [MSG]: He's kind of hot... you think?

[MSG]: Did you have fun with you-know-who last night? 

-oh yeah, it was… very fun-he left without sleeping cos he had a shoot in the morning so you know

[MSG]: He’s kind of hot… you think?

- oh yeah, he’s totally hot-you’ll be bored to death with him but hey at least the view will be nice

[fakehelper]

eizawrites replied to your photoset: 7 6 Selfies of 2017 tagged by @killrianjohnson jk...

ur hair is so maGICAL!!

THANKS!!! I GREW IT MYSELF!!

[pocmuzings]

guava tangelo & plum

GUAVA: DARK & DRAMATIC MAKEUP OR NATURAL MAKEUP?

i will do dark and dramatic makeup any time any place, ill do dark n dramatic makeup to a god damn dick appt at 2am, even tho he wont even see me. and u know why?? bc i fkn wanna! n i love makeup ! (also i LOVE you for sending me this q bc me n u both know how much we fiend over makeup) ((also real talk tho, i never wear makeup for men anymore. around men i wear like.. pyjamas, but when i know ima see women?? omg, i put on my best bra n underwear, and all my brand makeup))

TANGELO: IF YOU COULD BE ANY MYTHICAL CREATURE, WHICH WOULD YOU BE?

i’d love to be a siren. or a mermaid tbh. mermaids seem so cool to me bc i don’t know how to swim, so if i was a mermaid i’d know how to swim. or i’d just be a shit mermaid.

PLUM: FAVORITE CLOTHING BRANDS?

i ... don’t even really have any? i rlly like o-mighty? but idk, its so hard to find clothing that fits my body bc im not a skinny white girl .. so just. whatever i find .. i wear lmao

SEND ME A FRUIT!?

[phenomeniall]

“We can bake cookies! And put heart sprinkles on them.”

v day memes ppl

Reed thought he was Nicholas Sparks. He didn’t actually know who Nicholas Sparks was or that The Notebook was actually a film adaptation, but his head swam with kitschy ideas of romance. He loved all of it, from the candles and cards to the flowers and chocolate. Reed couldn’t help it. He needed to express his feelings as loud as he felt them deep.

But years with Lucy had introduced him to a softer love. It was by no means dimmer, but it was quiet and steady. And it wasn’t until he’d lost Lucy and found her again that Reed could truly feel how she anchored him. She was his gravity, and he would do anything as long as she kept pulling him back down to earth.

So when Lucy suggested they stay in for the night, Reed flashed her one of his winning smiles and leaned into to kiss her forehead. “I can’t think of anything that sounds half as good as that.” Stepping away, he added, “Just let me change?”

Reed slipped off to their shared room, passing Ollie’s on the way. He took a minute to smile at their napping son before returning to his mission. Behind the closed door, he called the restaurant and babysitter. “No, no, everything’s fine,” Reed assured her. “We decided to stay in. Thanks anyway, ma.”

After hanging up, Reed wandered back into the kitchen, wrapping his arms around Lucy’s waist from behind. He smiled over her shoulder, kissing her cheek before murmuring in her ear, “I love you.”

[aphroditzy]

eizawrites said: “extra points if u use words like caramel or coffee or cocoa or spicy or i could go on!!”

Or even saying that an Asian person gives you yellow fever. Calling a Latina character ‘Mami’ all the time.

[rebeccabreeds]

eizawrites replied to your post “do you ever randomly remember old ships and get sad and then go...”

god yes and i hate it and myself when i do

death would literally be kinder

[laracroftswrites]

@eizawrites replied to your post: when do i change my url back

Never

true true or i'll change it when domino sherforest is fired. but how will people know i write!!!

[kimannhart]

astrid & reece! 🎈

send 🎈 for our muses to go to a halloween party together

Reece has always been a friendly and social person. Back when he was in college, he was always hitting up the various parties that were thrown on or around campus. So it was no surprise to anyone that when he ran into an old college friend that he would receive an invite to his Halloween bash. Though, it was a bit surprising to those at the party that Reece had brought along Astrid. His old college buddies knew that when his parents passed away that he closed himself off for a bit, not wanting to close to anyone for the fear that he would leave his life unexpectedly, and focused his attention to taking care of his sister. They never thought that he would open himself back up. To Reece, he found it easy to let Astrid into his life. Very early on, he knew that she was just as damaged as he was. The only difference between the two of them was that Astrid showed that she wasn’t okay while Reece tended to hide it and bottle it up inside.

Before arriving to the party, Reece was very adamant that he and Astrid were to wear a couple’s costume, he wanted them to dress up as Jack and Sally from The Nightmare Before Christmas while Astrid, on the other hand, didn’t want to do it at first but with enough convincing from Reece’s end she agreed. So here they were, at the party, with Astrid complaining how stupid she looked while Reece was smiling like an idiot, though it hard to tell considering that he was wearing a headpiece. As the party went on, Reece found himself throughly enjoying himself, though his friends noticed that he refused to leave Astrid alone by herself, he even stood outside the bathroom door at one point—to which he received countless amounts of teasing from.

Reece didn’t know what it was about tonight but he felt that tonight was the perfect night to finally confess his feelings towards Astrid. It’s been months since the two had began hanging out and during that time frame, he slowly started to fall for her. Despite Kira reassuring him that Astrid felt the same, he was still didn’t believe it. Once Reece found the perfect opportunity, he dragged the two of them out onto the balcony that faced their city’s skyline and took off the headpiece he was wearing. At first, there was a comforting silence between them until Reece found the confidence to begin speaking. “Sunshine, you are truly one of the greatest people I have ever encountered in my life. I’m so grateful that you were willing to spend time with me these last few months, even though I know at times I can be a bit much. But something’s happen Astrid. During those times we’ve hung out I slowly started to gain feelings for you. I really really like you. And I get if you don’t feel the same but I just had to let you know what I feel. Though it would be rad if you like me too, but if not that’s cool too.”

[hephaestuss]

have u read that study that says ur meanest friend is actually the one who wants the best for u and loves u the most bc u should

............. so what ur sayin is ur fake and u love me is what i’m gettin from this

[kazualbrekkuparchive]

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MY LOVE AAAGGHHHHH!!!!!! 💖💖🌟🔥🔥✨U deserve all the good things ESPECIALLY today but also always 👻 🎉

AHHHH THIS IS SO LOEVLYYY THANK YOU ILYYY 💖💖💖

[daddariom-archived]

omg happy bday lovlieeee!!!! a fellow scorp 🦂🎉 ♏️ hope u have a wonderful day!! 💖💖

🦂 🦂 thank u so much jfjfnnfnd ily