#ellie Williams tlou

[scarleart]

loser!tatted!ellie fucking the shit out of prissy!cheerleader!reader ╭( ๐_๐)╮like oh my goodness.

imagine her holding a dildo tightly in her completely tatted up right hand, pounding it in your poor seeping cunt over and over again. not letting up or giving you any breaks whatsoever. her face would be so, so close to your pussy. just watching every single movement she’s inflicting on you intensely. front row, front and center.

an occasional dribble of spit coming out between her lips to drop on your clit, only to remove the dildo from your hole to rub it into your pussy. slapping the toy onto your abused button.

she’ll rasp out a deep “fuck” at your jolts of movement due to your sensitivity. her lips spreading apart in the most beautiful addictive, evil little smirk. putting the toy back into you, giving your clit a little kiss. well maybe several kisses because its ellie.

“my god, baby. how you feelin” she’ll whisper up to you in awe, watching your perfect, heavily blushed face contort in the most gorgeous expression of pleasure. your hair messy but sitting on top of your head just right, lips swollen and bruised. just fucked out. and she knows just exactly how you feel, i mean cmon now. she’s fucking you so well like she always does, you would’ve never thought in your life the tatted up loser your friends would talk shit about would be so fucking good. your words would come out as dragged out whimpered blabbers, ellie understands though, she always does.

“e-els.. s’good, s’ good” is all you muster up, earning you a hearty chuckle from your girlfriend. she’ll smile with a questioned “yeah” in which you’ll tiredly nod to.

“gonna cum f’me baby?” ellie sweetly pecks your thigh, her haunting green eyes just boring into your almost closed ones.

“y-yes els, pleaseplease” whines were spewing left and right, your moans going up a higher octave once ellie starts sucking at your clit all while simultaneously fucking you with the dildo. ellie own moans leaving her from the taste of you on her tongue.

ahhh god…. i can’t anymore

[ourautumn86]

hii can u pls do a story with ellie and a fem reader who is a virgin and ellie talks them thru it ? possibly including fingering and her strap bc im currently obsessed w those and anything else ofc :))

what if i don’t wanna stop

female reader x ellie williams

cw; +18 content, minors dni!, first time for reader, switches reader and ellie, fingering (r and e receiving), oral sex (r and e receiving), making out sessions, dry humping, face fucking (r receiving), hickeys (r and e receiving), strap on sex (r receiving), mentions of scissoring, cursing, praising, dirty talking, begging, teasing, cum eating, playing with cum, mouth fucking (kinda???) (e receiving), multiple orgasms, scratching, hair pulling (both receiving)…

you and ellie had been dating for a couple of months now. and you couldn’t be happier. she was sweet, caring, understanding, intelligent, gentle, beautiful… and really hot.

and it’s because she’s hot that you were here, in her room a friday night, on her lap, tongue swirling around hers as you tug on her auburn hair.

“baby…” she gasped against your lips, her hands gripping your hips, avoiding to touch your naked thighs, since you were only wearing one of her oversized t-shirts she had lent you to sleep on, and you panties.

“mmmh?” you hummed, kissing down her neck, making her sigh and turn her head to the side for you to give you more space.

“we should stop.” she muttered, hissing when she felt you suck and bite on her skin.

“what if i don’t wanna stop?” you whispered on her ear, and ellie’s heart seemed to stop. her green and now widened eyes found yours. your cheeks were flushed, and your lips swollen from all the kissing.

“yeah?” she inquired, her blown out eyes watching as you bit down on your bottom lip and nodded. she groaned. one of her hands coming up to your neck, pulling you in for a searing kiss that made you moan on her mouth. “you don’t know what you do to me.” she muttered, her free hand coming down your chest to grope at your tits. you grounded your hips down on her lap, making her hum.

“ellie. want you to touch me.” you begged. sure. it was your first time. but you knew what you wanted. one of your hands came up to your neck to grab her hand and guide it to your lips. your mouth took her middle and ring finger inside, your tongue twirling and wetting them. you stared into her pretty eyes. “please?”

“take this shit off.” she groaned, pulling at your shirt and helping you push it over your head, flashing her your perky tits and erect in lust nipples. she couldn’t help but whine. “so fucking beautiful…” your back arched when her mouth made contact with your chest, sucking on your nipples and slightly bitting to leave marks that will make you blush tomorrow morning. “you want me to touch you, baby? want me to make you feel good?” you nodded, fingers lacing on her auburn hair. “come on gorgeous, you know that’s not how we ask for things.”

“please ellie, make me feel good, please…” she hummed.

“good girl.” she softly pushed you down onto her bed, crawling on top of you. her thigh was pushing in between your own, the muscle rubbing against your clothed core. “what do you want to do baby? i could do so many things to you…” she kissed your neck, rocking her leg against your throbbing pussy. her head was spiraling. she had thought about this moment so many times, had fucked her pussy to it more than she could admit… “fuck you open with my fingers, use my mouth on you, rub my pussy with yours, fuck you on my cock…” you whimpered at the thought. you wanted it all. she knew. “greedy girl. you can’t get enough, can you? you just want it all…” she chuckled, kneading your breasts and pulling at your nipples. you nodded. “yeah, my needy girl, hm? don’t worry baby i’ll give it to you. but first… let’s get this off of you, hm?” her fingers dipped into your panties, pushing them down your legs. your cheeks were burning at her intense gaze, hungry eyes taking in your soaked folds and puffy clit. “so fucking wet, fuck…” she sighed, and you twitched when one of her fingers glided in between your folds and bumped against your clit. your hips unconsciously pushed against her touch, making her smirk.

you watched as she pushed her finger covered in your slick inside her mouth, slowly getting on her stomach, her breath hitting your folds and inner thighs, making you tremble. “look at her. so fucking pretty. prettiest pussy i’ve ever seen.”

“ellie.” you whined, embarrassed to be so exposed in front of her.

“so fucking desperate for me.” she chuckled, her fingers opening you up, your entrance twitching in need to be filled up. “gotta give her what she wants, hm?” your back arched and your breath hitched in a gasp when you felt her tongue licking a fat strip from your hole to your clit, leaving a wet kiss on it that made you clamp your legs around her head. ellie grunted, her hands coming up to your thighs to pull them open. “come on angel, stay open for me…” you moaned, your eyes rolling to the back of your head when she went back in between your thighs, your hands pulling at her hair, pulling her closer in need of more. “what is it baby? feels good? like my mouth?” you nodded.

“feels ‘s good.” you cried, whimpering when she harshly sucked on your clit. “fuck!” tears were rimming your eyes. “ellie. ellie…” you moaned her name, making her moan as well at the sweet sound of your pleads. she pulled you closer to her face, burying herself in your sweet slick.

“taste so fucking good.” she groaned, one of her fingers now at your entrance. “gonna push a finger inside, is that okay, baby?” you nodded.

“yes, yes, please…” and she didn’t make you wait. a sigh left your chest at the feeling of fullness, of her finger stretching your slick walls. how had you gone so long without this?

“so warm…” she sighed, kitten licking at your clit, and sucking slightly as she started to thrust in and out of you, wet sounds of your pussy taking her finger filling her room. “you hear that? such a good girl… taking me so well…” you moaned, and a cry left your lips when she curled her finger, hitting that spot in between your gummy walls that had your eyes rolling back. “riiight there, huh?” she curled it again, groaning at the tugging on her locks.

“ellie!” you whimpered as she pushed a second finger in.

“you can take it, babe. i know you can. be a good girl for me, hm?” you nodded. “atta girl.” you moaned, feeling your walls expanding to take her digits, your stomach growing with an impending orgasm as ellie suckled on your clit. “fuck. you sound so good. can’t wait to split you open on my cock.” just the thought of it had you clenching around her fingers and your thighs shaking.

“ellie, i can’t-“ you cried out, feeling your orgasm building up faster and faster.

“what is it, angel? gonna cum? gonna make a mess out of my face?” she smirked, looking up at you through her hooded eyes, sucking on your clit and letting it go with a pop that made you squirm. she was messy with it. spit and slick coating her chin, cheeks and lips. you moaned, nodding, and the pace of her curling fingers only increased. “go ahead. wanna see it drip.”

“i’m cumming!” you whimpered in between moans, screams filling her room as it finally hit you, your ears ringing and vision faltering as she helped you ride it out, licking every last drop of your cum with her tongue, drinking you up until you whined and tugged at her locks due to the overstimulation.

you whined when she pulled her fingers out of you, leaving you empty and needy. “fuck. would you look at that.” there was a pleased smirk on her face as she took in her soaked in creamy white fingers. she caught you staring as well, what made her chuckle. “what is it babe? want a taste?” you nodded, your tongue licking your lips. “why don’t you open up for me then?” she tapped her fingers against your mouth, pushing them inside once you’d followed her orders and making you hum at the tangy essence dripping from her fingertips. you eagerly sucked on them, looking up at her with doe-fucked out eyes that made her groan. “save a little for me.” she whispered as she lowered herself on top of you once again, pushing her tongue inside your mouth along with her fingers.

you hummed, opening your thighs for her to lay in between them, your arms surrounding her neck to pull her closer. ellie moaned when your hands then found their way down her back, nails scratching her until your palms took her ass and pulled from her to grind her against you. she bit down on your lip, a smirk on her face as she stared at you, eagerly sucking on her fingers to play with her. “what is it, hm? one wasn’t enough for you?” you shook your head, pulling her fingers out of your mouth, leaving a kiss on her fingertips.

“want more.” you muttered, making her groan.

“what do you want, huh?” she inquired, kneading your breasts, kissing your neck. she knew how to drive you crazy, how to get you to beg.

“want your cock. please.” her eyebrows raise.

“yeah? my fingers weren’t enough for you baby? you need my cock to stuff you up?” you nodded, making her hum. “why don’t you be good for me and touch yourself a little while i get everything ready, hm? want you stretched out for my dick.” you sighed, watching her get up and start discarding her clothes. two of your fingers plunged inside of your pussy as ellie got rid of her tank top, soft small breasts free for your hungry eyes to take in. next, her sweats, and lastly, her checkered boxers. you gulped and moaned at the sight of her mound’s auburn patch of hair and happy trail. “like what you see, angel?” she chuckled, watching you fuck yourself with hungry eyes. “shit. you’re so fucking hot. got me soaking my boxers.” she sighed, cupping her pussy.

“i’ll clean you up later.” you sighed, and ellie couldn’t help but groan.

“you want to use your tongue on me, pretty girl?” she inquired, taking her strap in between her hands to start buckling it around her hips, the back of it perfectly rubbing her puffy and needy clit. you nodded. “hmm, let’s see if i don’t fuck you dumb enough for you to forget how to use it.”

that promise only made you clench around your fingers, which were completely covered in your slick by the time ellie had found her way back in between your thighs, lube in hand.

“let me see.” she ordered, and you took your fingers out of your pussy with a whine, feeling yourself clenching around nothing. she cursed. “you’re gonna take my cock so well, aren’t you baby?”

“yes, yes… please.” you begged, watching her lube up the silicone before gliding it through your folds. the feeling had your head falling back against the pillows.

“gonna push it in, alright?” you nodded, your legs surrounding her hips as you watched her line the tip up with your entrance. “tell me if it hurts and i’ll stop.” and after another nod, she was thrusting inside. your jaw fell slack at the feeling of your ring of muscles dilating to fit her inside, your gummy walls sucking her in as she slowly pushed more of it inside.

“fuck.” you whimpered, your back arching as one of her hands came down to your clit to draw small circles.

“you’re doing so good for me, baby. such a good girl… how does it feel, hm? how does my cock feel?” your hands came up to her back to dig your nails in, moans falling from your lips.

“more. want more. push it all in.” you pulled from her, and she groaned.

“so fucking greedy.” you let out a choked out scream when she harshly slammed herself inside you to the hilt, hitting your g spot. “this what you wanted?” she inquired as she started to move, thrusting in and out of your wet and squelching cunt. “answer me.”

“yes! yes! feels so good. please don’t stop, ellie. fuck me, fuck me…” you babbled, your whole body tingling in an electricity you couldn’t put into words.

the smell of sex was heavy in the air as she buried her cock inside you over and over again, her lips on your neck and chest sucking new bruises for your skin to remember the exact moment she made you hers.

“pussy so fucking good for my cock. taking me so well.” she moaned, the back of the strap bumping against her own clit. you sounded heavenly, whimpering and moaning as you clutched to her back and shoulders, your legs wide open for her hips. “gonna fuck you dumb baby, gonna fuck you until you forget your own name.” she was babbling, too focused on the feeling of your warm body against hers, of the taste of your salty skin and the harmony of your moans.

“yes, yes, ellie. harder, fuck me harder, please.” you pleaded, screaming when her pace became relentless.

“god, you’re driving me crazy.” she took your hips, pulling you in with every harsh thrust to make her cock reach deeper. it was as if she was drilling it inside of you, messing up your insides. but you couldn’t care, not when it felt this good.

“ellie. i’m gonna cum. i’m gonna cum!” you cried out, your hands coming up to play with your nipples, pinching them and pulling at them, making your back arch and her groan.

“yeah. that’s it. atta girl. play with your tits and soak my cock. cum for me, baby.” the moment it hit you, you swore you could see stars, your pussy gushing on her cock in clenches as waves of pleasure hit you like it’d do on rocks, draining you. by the time you came down from it, ellie had stilled inside you, thumb caressing your cheek as her green eyes stared into your hazy ones. she smiled. “you alright, babe? that was a strong one.” you hummed, pulling her in for a deep kiss that she gladly received, kneading at your hips. “gonna pull out, alright?” you nodded, hissing slightly when she pulled the silicone out of you, her hands making quick work of pulling the strap out of her hips to let it slide to the floor. she’ll clean it later.

ellie laid down beside you, the two of you taking a moment to even out your breaths.

after a few minutes in silence, she got on her side to look at you, brushing a strand of hair out of your face. “how do you feel, was that alright?” you smiled, chuckling at her concern.

“it felt amazing ellie. thank you.” you left a soft peck on her lips, making her cheeks slightly flush.

“why are thanking me for, silly?”

“for making me feel so good…” you muttered against her lips, one of your hands trailing down her chest in between her tits, making her skin abrupt in goosebumps and her breath hitch. “so good i can only think about repaying you…” you bit down on your lip, staring up at her.

she gulped. “yeah?”

“hmm-mmmh.” you hummed, slowly pushing her down onto the mattress. “wanna make you feel just as good, ellie.” she sighed as you played with her breasts, experimentally sucking at her hardened and small nipples, softly biting them and gracing them with your teeth. “would you like that?”

“yeah.” she nodded, and you smirked, slowly creeping your way down her body, laying flat on your tummy in between her thighs. “oh god.” she muttered at the feeling of your soft supple lips on her inner thighs, leaving fluttery kisses.

“gonna teach me how to eat you out, ellie?” you inquired, knowing that your filthy words would take a toll on your girlfriend.

“yeah.” she repeated. she seemed to be short on words. cute.

“how should i start?” you asked, leaving a kiss on her mound. your mouth was watering. she was completely soaked, and smelled so good…

“your tongue… use your tongue.” you hummed, smirking when you heard her breath hitch and a curse leave her lips when you made a fat strip up her slicked folds. you moaned at the tasted, savoring every last drop of it.

“like that?” you inquired, giving her another tentative lick, groaning when her fingers laced in your hair to pull.

“yeah. just like that. jesus christ.” you looked so fucking hot lapping at her cunt, it was driving ellie crazy. she had been so close to cumming earlier by the sight of you taking her strap that now she just was completely lost on the feeling of your mouth on her.

you hummed in pleasure. “you taste so good, els.”

ellie could me help but whine, her grip tightening on your hair.

“you like eating my pussy, baby? you like eating this pussy?” you nodded, slurping on her juices as if you were starved. “fuuuuuuck.” her eyes widened and a loud moan left her lips at the sudden intrusion of one of your fingers inside her slick walls. her back arched, her hands pushing you impossibly closer to her core. “don’t stop. god, don’t stop.” you focused on sucking on her clit as you fucked her open with now two of your fingers, curling them like she had and smirking when whimpers would fall off her lips.

“you close, els?” she nodded, biting down on her bottom lip.

“so close, shit. i’m gonna cum.” she cried.

“cum for me. wanna taste it. want you to fill my mouth, ellie. please.”

“yeah? want me to fill your mouth with my cum, baby? make you choke on it?” you hummed, and her hips jerked. “then take it. fuckfuckfuck, take it.” she groaned, fucking herself against your face and fingers as moans and grunts left her lips, cumming all over your mouth, cheeks and chin.

you whimpered at the taste, the white creamy essence filling your mouth as you fucked her through it, her little sounds heavenly to your ears.

as she came down from it, ellie found herself panting, her heart pounding on her chest as he tried to pace her breathing.

“holy fuck.” she chuckled as you pulled your fingers from her cunt, dipping them in between your lips to lick them clean. “come here.” she said, hosting you up her body to press a kiss to your lips. you could taste yourself on her spit, just as she could taste herself on yours. it was the perfect mix.

“was i good?” you inquired, gracing her cheek as her eyebrows arched.

“‘were you good’?! babe you were amazing. i’ve never cummed that hard in my life.” you chuckled, hiding your face in the crook of her neck, feeling her hand trailing up and down hour back in slight caresses.

“you’re dumb.”

“and you’re fucking beautiful.” you looked into her eyes, a soft smile on both your faces as you leaned down to press a peck on her lips. a peck that ended up deepening into a messy and wet kiss that left you throbbing all over again. ellie pulled away, a string of spit connecting you both. “second round?” you nodded, and laughed as she pushed you on your back and crawled on top of you.

[mochidolls]

imagine coming back home and seeing Ellie play dress up with ur daughter and she goes all out and wears something stupid like fairy wings and a tutu just to make ur daughter smile I’m gonna cry and vomit

n : literally made me shed a tear while writing this. i changed up a bit pooks, hope this does your request justice!

click for palestine / please read (important!!) / how you can help palestine

the news of the pregnancy with yours and ellie’s second child wasn’t much a surprise to either of you. you and ellie both had been trying for a couple of months, being on and off doctors appointments for ivf, facing multiple negative tests much to your anticipation. now that you had finally conceived it was all you and ellie spoke about. the nursery, what gender the baby was, how excited you were that your little princess would be a big sister.

initially your daughter was gleed at the fact that she was going to be a big sister, but that wasn’t to say that jealousy didn’t creep in. ihe wasn’t the main centre of your attention anymore and she was albeit a little spiteful of her new sibling.

“look, he’s trying to say hi.” ellie nudges the toddler as the newborn yawned, his eyes moving over to his older sister and you could’ve sworn a small smile crept up his lips. yhe sight made your heart swell, it was just too adorable.

“you wanna say hi bubs?” you asked sage, which the 3 year old did what you did not expect.

“no! he’s annoying and i don’t like him! i. don’t. wanna!” sage replied, crossing her arms with a pout before stomping her foot on the floor and storming out the bedroom.

the two of you watched your daughter storm out the room, and looked over each other with baffled but knowing expressions. your daughter's jealous behaviour did not go unnoticed by the two of you. sensing the rather tense air within the room, the newborn within your arms began to fuss and you shot your wife a look.

“‘m going, i’m going.” ellie sighed as she stood up, walking out the bedroom to possibly help cheer up your daughter while you tend to your son.

as ellie disappeared to calm down sage, you turned your attention back to your son, cradling him gently against your chest. his tiny fingers curled around yours, and you couldn't help but marvel at how perfect he seemed, despite his occasional fussiness.

he blinked up at you with his wide, innocent eyes, and you couldn't resist smiling down at him. being a parent was simultaneously exhausting and exhilarating, but moments like these made it all worth it.

ellie tapped gently on her daughter's bedroom door, the sound echoing softly in the quiet hallway. "sage?" she called out in her tender voice, a hint of concern lacing her words. receiving no immediate response, she pushed the door open with a delicate touch, allowing it to creak open just a fraction.

"i'm coming in, kay?" she announced softly, stepping into the room with a gentle sway.

inside, she found sage huddled on her bed, her small frame folded in on itself, arms wrapped tightly around her chest. her little face scrunched up in distress, a pout gracing her lips, and her furrowed eyebrows adding to the adorable sight. despite the cuteness, ellie knew there was something troubling her precious daughter.

"hey, princess, can we talk?" ellie asked as she made her way to sage's bed, her steps light and careful. sitting down beside her daughter, she gently nudged the toddler with her elbow.

"you want to tell me why you said that to your brother?" she asked, her voice a soft murmur filled with warmth and understanding.

her heart clenching at the sudden but faint sniffle she heard from the little girl. "hey, hey, hey, what's wrong?" ellie asked, pulling sage into a comforting hug as the tears began to flow. she began to rub Sage's back in gentle circles, hoping to offer some comfort and reassurance.

"i made you and mommy mad," sage finally confessed, her voice trembling. prompting ellie to quickly reassure her. "of course not, we're not mad, just... a bit confused by your sudden outburst," ellie explained, feeling a bit out of her depth with one-on-one talks. that was always your domain.

sage continued to cry into ellie's chest, her sobs growing louder, and ellie wracked her brain for a way to calm her down. finally, an idea struck her, and she blurted it out without much forethought.

"hey, how about…you apologize to mommy and your brother, and then we can…uh, dress up and have a tea party? fairy wings and everything yeah?" she suggested with a gentle smile, hoping to lift sage's spirits.

sage's eyes widened in surprise at the suggestion, her tears starting to slow as a glimmer of hope flickered in her gaze. "rweally?" she asked, her voice wavering with uncertainty. wllie nodded with a warm smile, cupping sage's cheek in her hand. "mhm really. how’s that?"

"okay..." sage sniffled softly, wiping away her tears with the back of her hand. slowly, she climbed off ellie's lap, her small hand slipping into ellie's as they made their way back to the bedroom where you and your newborn son were.

with a soft knock on the door, interrupting your cooing at the baby, they entered the room, and your gaze instantly fell to your wife’s before meeting the remorseful eyes from your three year old.

sage entered the room, walking over and standing nervously by your side of the bed, fidgeting with her hands, her gaze downcast with guilt — a habit all too similar to your wife’s. like mother, like daughter.

sage stood by your side, fidgeting nervously with her hands, her gaze downcast with guilt. "’m sorry for being mean to brother, mommy," she apologized softly, her voice barely above a whisper. your heart melted at her words, and you a gentle ’c’mere’ escaping your lips as you waved her over and quickly pulled her into a tender embrace as she climbed onto the bed and lay on your side, pressing a loving kiss to her forehead.

"it's okay, sweetheart. i love you so much, y’know that?" you whispered, your voice filled with warmth and affection. "i love you too, mommy," sage replied, a soft smile gracing her lips as she returned your embrace. with a kiss to her baby brother's head, she then jumped off from the bed before running towards ellie, who scooped her up in her arms with ease, planting a gentle kiss on her cheek.

"what are you two up to now?" you asked with a playful smile, raising an eyebrow in curiosity.

"tea party!" sage exclaimed, her eyes lighting up with excitement as she wrapped her arms around ellie's neck.

“and you're not invited," ellie quipped, both of them sticking their tongues out at you playfully before leaving the room with sage in tow, the sound of their laughter echoing softly in their wake.

[stars-for-circe]

Hot To Go

Song inspo!! - HOTTOGO by Chappell Roan

Tags / cw: headcanons, cheerleader!reader x dropout!ellie, fluff, Highschool au, Ellie is older by 1 year, reader is in senior year, 90s era

Dropout!Ellie who always does her best to show up and be supportive of your cheerleading

She always makes sure to pick you up every Friday night after practice, long after the sun has set and dew had started to form on the cold grass field.

She makes sure to wait by her pickup truck in the parking lot, leaning against the drivers side door and listening to music on her walkman until you come over to meet her.

She always greets you with a kiss on the cheek and one of her jackets to keep you warm in your thin uniform - the smell of her wrapped around you makes you feel so cozy.

Dropout!Ellie who lets you hangout with her in the back of her truck after practice, eating the worst junk food known to man as you gossip about people from your school

You’re sitting in the back of her truck, cuddling her under a shared blanket as you share a greasy cheese pizza - your legs intertwined as you try to feed her a slice with her eyes closed, making you both giggle as she fails miserably.

While she dropped out a couple years ago, she was still in the grade above you, so you have some shared memories about school. There are certain people she knows about, but most of them that you gossip about are complete strangers.

“No fucking way, he still goes there? Dude’s like a super duper senior at this point!”

Dropout!Ellie who won’t let you go home without a proper goodbye, leading to giggly make out sessions in her truck as you both try to hide from the automatic nightlights in your driveway.

Dropout!Ellie who sneaks into your school to watch your routines during matches, and somehow never gets caught.

At this point, you’re 99% sure she’s bribing the office ladies not to rat her out because they still have a soft spot for her.

Ellie never fucking tells you when she’s gonna show up, so every single time it takes you by surprise when you see her hiding behind the bleachers and cheering you on as you balance at the top of the pyramid.

And every single time, you almost fall from how distracted you get.

Dropout!Ellie who tries to involve herself with your schoolwork and be helpful, but is the exact opposite of what she attempts to do.

You’re studying for finals at the park while Ellie swings upside down on some random tree branch, blasting rock so loud that you can hear it all the way on the bench.

All of a sudden you hear her run over to you, leaves crunching under her feet, and two heavy hands landing on your shoulders

“So whatcha doinggg??”

She immediately regrets asking, because now you’ve trapped her next to you and planted a massive textbook in front of her to help you study.

“Babe- I dropped out in grade ten there’s no way I can help with any of this shit-”

Secretly, she gets a little sad sometimes because she can’t connect with you about school or share classes with you since she dropped out.

Dropout!Ellie who tried doing your makeup once, and you never let her go near it again because of how bad it was.

“No- Ellie it’s meant to be sparkly on the inner corner-”

“Stop with the fucking medical terms and just let me-”

“WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO-”

You were 27 minutes late to practice that day because of how much Ellie insisted she do your makeup even though it wasn’t necessary.

You spent those 27 minutes desperately trying to wipe off the bright blue glitter she’d spread all the way up to your eyebrows.

Sometimes you still find pieces of glitter in your carpet from the whole fiasco.

You help her feel better, though, by letting her pick out which bows to put in your hair and which colours you can use for eyeshadow during games.

Dropout!Ellie who makes sure she’s always there with you during games, even when she can’t make it herself.

While you were busy getting dressed into your uniform, she was fiddling around with you pom-poms, eyeing all the pretty colours and sparkles.

She wanted to stay as long as she could until you had to leave for the game, because this time she couldn’t go with you.

But a sharpie on your desk caught her eye, and she suddenly had a small idea on what she could do.

And hours later, after the game, when you went to grab your stuff to leave, you noticed a tiny little black smudge on the handle of your pom-poms. And upon taking a closer look, a small smile made its way to your face after you saw your girlfriend’s faded initials hidden behind all the ribbons and plastic.

Dropout!Ellie who cannot wait for summer, when she can finally have you all to herself without school or practice or homework getting in the way.

Half of the summer you aren’t even sleeping at home. Instead, Ellie sneaks you out of the house and drives three hours into the middle of nowhere to look at the stars.

She puts up some blankets and pillows in the back of her truck, brings out a radio softly playing nirvana, and a Tupperware box of cookies she made to share as you lay in the back of her truck to stargaze.

She points out the bigger ones, and the ones making constellations to you as you wrap your arms around her and listen to her nerdy mumbling, slowly lulling you to sleep.

“See? That one there’s called Ursa Major. I uh, read it somewhere a while back in one of those astronomy books you got me.”

“…mhm…”

She giggles at your quiet chirps to her explanations as your slowly fall asleep, before pulling a blanket over you and lets you drift off under the stars.

And when you wake up - still outside in the back of her truck - resting on her now sleeping chest, you glance at Ellie and her resting expression. You watch how it becomes blanketed by the early morning sunrise, and you listen to how the radio is playing some indie country artist you couldn’t name.

And after a while, you decide that, despite the fact she’s a dropout and your a straight A cheerleader, and despair the fact that it is the most random pairing ever, you wouldn’t have it any other way.

Taglist: @happysparklingshadows @irelandzo @r3starttt @iamaboringrattat @genderfluidlesbain999 @slut4mascss @rxreaqia @kylorey25 @massivepeacefemme @elliewilliamsfavborderhopper @ratdungeon @elxarw @mariasabanahabanabana @vvynia @abbyshands @littlegingerperson5 @flowersforvi

[mystellenia]

ellie with a clumsy gf ୨ৎ

summary: how ellie cares for her clumsy girlfriend

content: nothing thats nsfw!! just ellie being a cutie concerned gf

notes: answer to this req!! SHES SO PUPU BABYGIRL IN THAT PIC I WANNA BITE HER JFWIBFJWKRJR. she's actually so beautiful i can't. entirely unrelated: idk how i feel about this... but i’m trying not to be like EW I HATE THIS FUCK THIS ITS SO BAD. like i dont even feel like that but we already know how i feel about this formatting. its growing on me tho

(wc 0.39k) so short i know guys i gotta dip my feet

constantly laughing but also concerned at how you manage to trip and bump and bruise yourself up on literal air

in apocalypse au, she's always been very aware of her surroundings bc of patrol and combat and stuff so she tries to keep you out of the way of things that she knows you'll bump into

always has an ice pack chilled and ready to go in the freezer in case you bump yourself real hard and it's sore because ice helps bumps not bruise right when you get them (looking at you guys clumsy ladies write that one down)

always warns you about things right as they're happening since you get into things SO FAST

like just as you're bumping into something or dropping an item she's blurting out, "wait! there's- a shirt on the floor"/"remember- that the washing machine door is open"/"baby, you're gonna drop that- just... like you did just now. you okay?"

always asks what you did to get a new bruise. she'll notice a new one and joke, "oh, what did you do this time?" and you'll respond, "i may have walked into the dishwasher while the door was down... but this one doesn't hurt that bad 😁" it's become like a little game

she's become sooo desensitized to any bump or bang sound in the house bc she knows its just you. not to say she doesn't care about you getting hurt--she immediately throws out a "you good?!" or "you need me?"--she just knows you know what to do: ice pack or heat compress. it's routine now.

read that low vitamin c levels make you bruise easily, so always has vitamin c rich snacks stocked up. oranges and strawberries and other fruits, always ready!

she's so stupid in love that she'll cut the fruits up into hearts or try nd make the most simple little animals with them from some mother of 3's tutorial on instagram reels and genuinely gets upset when she can't recreate them.

^ like you notice her absolutely maiming some apples and ask, "ummm why are you slicing and dicing that poor apple?" and she'll mumble, "it's supposed to be a stupid crab."

and for my ladies with darker skin where bruises aren't as visible or even just pale skin that just doesn't bruise easily, she's still just as concerned. and since there is no visible warning of a sore spot, she's hurriedly apologizing after pressing on a sore spot or laying on a tender patch.

@abbysbug @picklesarenice69

hello to my clitter critters. soooooooo erm sorry about going like basically inactive for like 2 weeks i got into the fight of a lifetime with my mother 😊 we still beefing 😊 dw tho when she's old and wrinkly i’ll have power of attorney and trust the cord WILL be plugged.

like i’m joking but as of now that bitch is an opp fr

but anywhoooo i’m back. and my dinosaur of a laptop had a health scare and i thought i was gonna have to plan a funeral for her but she went to the doctor (apple store) and she's all better. idk how it still works so well now bc my mom got this when obama was still president 😆 don't y'all worry tho this motherboard does nothing but purr we chillin (the fan turns on whenever there are too many graphics moving)

[ellieanddinacanlitstabme]

Practicing

[aouiaa]

Loser!Ellie Hcs

Imagining Loser! Ellie who makes fart noises with her mouth when you bend down to pick up something, and making fun of you for “farting.”

“Ewww, that one was nasty!”

A scoff leaves your mouth as you stand up, looking back to send a death stare her way to which makes her walk over to you, giggling.

“It’s okay, everyone farts.” she says with a cheeky grin.

An eye roll from you further causes Ellie to full on laugh and wrap her arms around your waist, pressing kisses to your neck.

She would be so silly with it too. Finding different ways to comment on you “farting.”

“That’s some narly tooting there, babe.”

“Woof, another left the cannon!” she says, pinching her nose while actually fanning the air to shooing away the smell as if it was real.

“A bomb just dropped, take cover!”

Imagining Loser! Ellie who invites you over to her house when you first started dating to review her concerningly large comic book collection.

“How do you have some many?!” you exclaim, looking over the many boxes filled with comics.

“I had to do some things to acquire such items that I rather not corrupt your mind with.” she says in a rather poor attempt of sounding suspicious and menacing.

“God, you’re such a loser! you laugh, and watch as Ellie immediately drops the act and turns into a big giant tomato.

A little shy “no” leaves her lips to which makes you smile and lean over to kiss her, “It’s okay, you’re my loser.”

Imagining Loser! Ellie who also has a smaller collection of space related books than the rather getting out-of-hand comic collection.

Imagining Loser! Ellie who has the deadliest grip over the last chicken while sending a death stare your way when you do that one trend on her to see if she’d grab her phone instead.

Imagining Loser! Ellie who’s laughing to the point there’s tears in her eyes when she suggested the both of you paint each other. And when revealed, hers was very detailed and while yours…’was insteresting.’ Ellie’s words…

Imagining Loser! Ellie who makes fun of people who dress “cringe”, but also wears this.

Imagining Loser! Ellie who write love songs for you in her little journal of hers and even plays them on her guitar. You’ve even caught her once.

Upon walking into your home, you hear muffled talking or singing. Presuming it’s Ellie, you walk into the room to see her with gutiar in hand. Immediately when she sees you she stops what she’s doing and look up, her face turning red.

“Oh—shit, you’re home early…” she says, laughing nervously, settling her guitar aside and greeting you with a hug and kiss as usual.

A little laugh leaves your lips as you return such greeting and ask, “What were you doing?”

She pulls away from the embrace and looks down upon hearing the question. Playing with her pinky and rings finger, she responds, “Oh, ya’ know—just…playing.”

“Just playing? But I heard you singing.”

An audible gulp is heard from the nervous girl as she looks up at you, “I was writing a song.” she finally admits.

A wave of surprise washed over you, “Oh—wow. Can…I hear it?”

“Uhh, maybe later..”

You chuckle and nod, “Alright then, my little musician. You can work on!” you quip.

A nervous smile presents itself on Ellie’s lips, “Shut up.”

Loser! Ellie who does let you listen to the song, but is stuttering and messing up the whole time!—Poor girl, you make her nervous :(—To which earns her a kiss on the cheek and a “You got this, baby. Just relax” To which she actually does! She Some might say it was the kiss that did it.

Imagining Loser! Ellie who has a special spot in her journal fill of doodles of you.

Imagining Loser! Ellie who has mutiple unfinished paintings of you that with time will be finished, just has to find time in her super busy schedule—that consists of sleeping and bothering you—to finished them.

Imagining Loser! Ellie who sleeps with stuff animals.

Imagining Loser! Ellie who HAS to absolutely listen to music when doing anything, literally doesn’t matter it could be showering, dishes, getting ready, etc. There’s music playing.

Imagining Loser! Ellie who’s a big ‘Savage Starlight’ nerd and actually at some point sent in one of her best fanart to the official insta page, but never got a response. :(

But the girl can’t take failure as a option and is still hopeful saying, “They’ll open my message…eventually.” with a sad little huff.

Imagining Loser! Ellie who’s screaming from the bathroom when she actually gets a response back!

You knock frantically on the door to realize it when she’s opens the phone and you’re met with her phone being shoved into your face, “Look, Look, Look!

A slight irritated sigh leaves your lips as you look at Ellies phone—which has mysterious residue stains on it—and see the instagram post. Once reading the caption praising Ellie for her work, you look up from the phone and at her, “I thought you were getting killed, Ellie! God…”

“Aweeee, you care about me?” she says, putting her hands on her chest.

“No, I came to make sure they finished the job.” you reply with a cheeky grin.

“Oh wow…well in that case, gimme my phone and get out!” she frowns.

You roll my eyes playfully and chuckle, giving back her phone, “Make sure to flush.” you say, closing the door.

“That was one time!” you hear a muffled shout.

Imagining Loser! Ellie whose phone is filled with multiple pictures of you. Some of you, sleeping, doing chores around the house, cooking—and some with you seeming to be yelling at her in the photo for not helping, and terrible pictures of you that you beg her to delete, but she protests saying, they’re “beautiful” to her.

Imagining Loser! Ellie who steals your chapstick since she always loses her’s within a few days of having it.

“Ellie?” you call out, searching in your nightstand for your chapstick.

“Yeah, babe?” you hear her voice become more clearly as she walks into the bedroom.

“Has you seen my chapstick? My lips are terribly dry…” you huff, unable to find it in your clutter.

“Uhh, no.”

*Imagine her in the background, sneakily swiping your chapstick back and forth on her lips as you annoyedly rummage through your stuff for it.* LMAOOO

Imagining Loser! Ellie who does feel bad and buys you a ten pack of chapstick, stealing one of course for herself.

Imagining Loser! Ellie who buys those princess or even soda chapstick ones.

(Okay i’ll stop talking about chapsticks…😭)

Imagining Loser! Ellie who seems to never drink water, but instead drinks like Arizona, Dr. Pepper, or Canada-dry, etc.

Imagining Loser! Ellie who’s rather disgusting when eating. Having dried up residue on the side of her mouth from dinner which was hours ago only to lick it off.

“Mmm, that burger was good.”

“You’re disgusting.”

Imagining Loser! Ellie who sometimes, but not all the times, thinks about how lucky she is/was to get—or “pull” as she says to her friends—someone like you.

Loser! Ellie who loves you for loving her despite her quirks!

How you can help Palestine, Why you shouldn’t support tlou/ buy the remastered, Educate yourself, #FREEPALESTINE.

a/n; Who wants Dina or Abby hcs? 🤭

Perm taglist: @elliesprettygirl, @dyk3ang3l, @ellies2fingers, @r3starttt, @slut4mascss, @k1ssesworld

Ellie Only fics: @herelieskrisy, @mikellie , @slaysksmska, @mina-281, @teawithnosugar, @kitkatkittycat111

[flowersforvi]

tbh high sub!ellie smoking a joint while ur tribbing w her. all cherry-eyed gazing up at you with every bit of vulnerability on display. YIPPEE!

erm. what the freak. i need her.

the blunt being passed between you and ellie was slowly becoming smaller with every shared inhale and exhale.

her eyes were watering, from desperation and how utterly perfect the scene in front of her was; your cunts rubbing together, wetness from both of you mixing where it meets.

“‘s sofuckin’ good mama, so wet n’ messy for me, i love it.”

“yeah els? you like when i have you moaning like a slut?”

all she could respond with was another whimper as smoke leaves her mouth slightly. you grab the blunt from her, taking a long hit as you rub your pussy agonizingly slow across hers.

hand moving before you can think, it grips ellie’s face tightly, bringing it in for a sloppy kiss. you push the smoke from your mouth into hers, muttering a small ‘inhale f’me baby’.

and she did, listening to you like the good girl she is.

taglist; @syrenada @satellitespinner @mxlti-fand0m-imaginess @ellieslob @starlynnr @enhanct @s4pphicslutt @marsworlddd @sapphiclesbli @ruelliee @antonellavanella @lasting-lover @desireesfics @marvelwomenarehot0 @elliessslut @letsreadsomesins-shallwe @a-little-bit-of-everybody @aouiaa @fairydxll @seraphicsentences @prwttiestbunny @callmewhenyoukan

[val-cansalute]

‘ the first thing that i do before i get into your house,

i’m gonna tear off all the petals from the rose

that’s in your mouth ’

SUMMARY: (an ode to victoria legrand)

Back to the old place - down by the sea. Her greed for fame, the sound of her guitar strokes reverberating within the ears of the masses. You cannot compete. Watch her erode just to get there from a distance. She’s scraping at the floor desperately. You are an afterthought to the lover you want to consume wholly. It’s not just love to you, it’s beyond it: beyond any words or descriptions. But you watched her walk away all that time ago, and you’re still standing on your own two feet. Two years pass and a flash of those auburn locks rustling in the icy gusts of sea breeze draws you slowly back to that state you finally managed to be free of. This time, you trust that you can live without it. The swarms of changes within both you and Ellie are testaments to the passage of time. That state is an echo, a vision, and its truth is nonexistent. You were made to believe that.

ch.1:

a prologue of sorts - you and ellie will never be the same. the words you exchange are so deep seated and visceral, an accumulation of all the hurt. hers are telling; the love she gives is nothing like yours, nowhere near as intense, nowhere near as desperate. she’s closed off to you, and she may never be open again. she’s leaving jackson before it is even given a proper ending, before you can fully let go of all your pride and beg her for some grace, to go on tour now that her music career is taking off. this is the end. at least for a few years.

ch.2:

tba

ch.3:

tba

ch.4:

tba

ch.5:

tba

ch.6:

tba

ch.7:

tba

PLAYLIST: lemme put you on 😜

[eyesfullofsttars]

☆ obsessed with the idea of ellie & abby being mothers

synopsis: a few headcanons of abigail and ellie being mothers, from the way they raise the baby to the smallest details!!!

notes: hiii!!! i've just been thinking about these two being mothers for the past few days and this came up—sorry if it's simple or too dumb. (don't take it too seriously pls)

I'm still not sure whether they would prefer having a girl or a boy. It seems it wouldn't matter much to them, as they would raise the baby the same way regardless. However, these two are mothers of a boy!!!

They speak to their baby as though he were a responsible adult who understands everything perfectly and frown when someone uses a high-pitched voice or baby talk.

Abby is the one who always gets up in the middle of the night if the baby cries. She automatically wakes up and goes to see what's wrong with her son.

Meanwhile, Ellie doesn't wake up at night, but she reads a dinosaur book to the baby before bed, tucks him in, and gives him a goodnight kiss on the forehead.

Ellie is enthusiastic about her baby, playing energetically and carefree, tickling him, putting him on her shoulders, and playing with his hands. She's proud of her baby and believes he's the best.

Abby is not so calm, paying attention to her son's safety. She comes from a family of doctors —she's a doctor herself— and watches Ellie carefully whenever she holds the baby. Abby feels the need to keep her son close at all times, either in her strong arms or on her lap, playfully touching his nose or gently stroking his hair.

Ellie can spend hours watching Abby take a nap with their baby. She sees Abby sitting on the couch with the baby on her lap, cuddled against her chest and holding her shirt tightly with his small hand, afraid of losing contact. They breathe softly, calmly together, which Ellie finds adorable — making her feel like the luckiest woman in the world.

At first, Abby worried about seeing Ellie handle the baby so lightly, but she has become accustomed to Ellie's relaxed attitude. Abby watches carefully to avoid accidents, but one of her favorite things is listening to her baby and Els laugh together at something silly Ellie does, causing Abby to laugh too.

Abby "I want to name our son after a writer" Anderson versus Ellie "Let's name our son after a constellation" Williams — Els won!

Ellie helps her son learn to speak by playing her guitar, singing songs about letters, animals, and the names of family and friends.

Abby cheers and celebrates every time she sees the baby trying to stand, keeping his balance by holding onto the couch. She's proud of her little prodigy and also believes her baby is the best.

Ellie lets her son trace the lines of her tattoo and even color the spaces with markers. She accepts without complaint, extending her arm for her child to do his art.

Abby lets her son comb her hair. She loosens her blonde hair and trusts her baby's hands as he tries to comb her long hair, clumsily attempting a braid but failing.

Ellie can't help but swear in front of the baby, as she hasn't managed to change her language yet. She often ends up letting out a curse word, especially when the baby does something that excites her.

She might say something like, “Fuck yeah, you're so intelligent, kiddo!” Or, whenever the baby cries for no reason, Ellie will get completely flustered and not know what to do, like, “What the hell do you want from me, dude? I can't help you if you don't tell me!”

On the other hand, Abby doesn't see the appeal in swearing in front of their son. So, whenever a curse word slips out of Ellie's mouth, Abby quickly exclaims; “Language, Williams!”

No matter where she is in the house, she can always hear Ellie swearing, which ends with Ellie responding with something like, “Fuck, sorry, babe. Shit, right, sorry, buddy. It just comes out like verbal vomit; I can't control it.”

Every time a rock song plays, Ellie can't help but do headbanging, and her son joins her in the fun. Both end up in the kitchen, energetically moving their heads to the music and dancing around.

For every special occasion, such as Valentine's Day, birthdays, or even Easter, Abby doesn't hesitate to buy flowers for Ellie and her son.

Both understand their child perfectly. The child might babble something unintelligible, but they simply nod, comprehending every word.

[ellieabbyy]

[elliesmistress]

GUYS PLEASE I CAN'T FUCKING BREATHE

[ourautumn86]

high and starving

ellie williams x fem reader

synopsis; ellie just needed to taste you.

cw; +18content minors dni!!!, use of drugs (weed), ellie being high and needy, horny sex, oral (r receiving), fingering (r receiving), cum eating, hair pulling, make out sessions, teasing…

ellie was high. really high. and horny. that too. and you looked so beautiful, on your white tank top and short pjs. she could see the peeking of your cotton panties…

her eyes fell to your thighs, plushy, soft. she would die to dive in between them, have her tongue run through your folds to slurp up your juices. she could groan at the through of it. she wanted to devour you. wanted to make you cum over and over and over again. until you couldn’t speak. until you couldn’t even remember your name.

you were busy with a book, not really paying attention to her. she wanted to make you look at her. her tongue dampened her lips as she observed you, taking the last hit of the blunt. she felt dizzy. lost on you. she could feel her pussy throbbing, slick pooling in between her lips.

she neared you, her nose burying herself in your neck so her mouth would taste your skin, softly, wetly. your breath hitched at the sudden feeling, your stomach jumping. you sighed at the second kiss she left on the spot below your ear, breathily inquiring a “what are you doing?” that had her humming.

“want you.” your cheeks flushed, your thighs squishing together when her hand trailed down your stomach and dove underneath your pants and underwear, teasingly. “want to eat you.” you silently whimpered, your legs opening for her. she groaned, biting down on her bottom lip as she pushed into them, her fingers pushing in between your folds, touching your clit. you moaned. you were getting wetter by the minute, your hold faltering on the book and letting it fall onto the bed by your side. “i’m so fucking horny right now.” you gasped as hips grounded against your side. “can i fuck you baby?” her fingers were now surrounding your hole, slightly pushing in, grunting and pushing inside her middle up to the knuckle when you nodded. the gasp that left your lips made her only more eager. her lips were on your neck.

“you always get horny when you smoke.” you moan, your back arching as she crooked her finger.

“come on. i know you like it.” she muttered against your ear, kissing you on the lower part of your neck and making you sigh. “don’t you?” the pushing on a second finger made you moan, and her; chuckle. “of course you do.”

you could hear your pussy squelching with each thrust of her fingers, which only turned the two of you more on. “you’re so fucking wet…” she said, biting down on her lip before pulling them out, making you groan at the loss. you watched as she pushed her fingers inside her mouth, tongue swirling to taste your slick. without any words she quickly tugged from your shorts and panties, pulling them down your legs to take a peek at your drooling pussy. “fuck.” she sighed, you only pushing your legs apart more when she got on her belly, your fingers lacing in her hair as she kissed your inner thighs, quickly latching onto your folds and clit, desperate.

“shit, ellie.” you groaned, watching as her tongue lapped at your arousal, sliding in between your slick folds. her hands gripped tighter your thighs, pushing you closer to her mouth as her green eyes stared into your. you moaned at the sight, your hole clenching against her tongue, and later around it as she pushed inside. “just like that.” she hummed, going back to your clit to tease it with her tongue. you could see in her reddish half-lidded eyes that she was pussy drunk, lazily and messily lapping at you, eyes closing as she moaned at the taste.

you tugged on her hair, making her hum as she sucked on your clit, slightly shaking her head before pulling away and spitting in between your folds. you whimpered, thighs shaking.

she couldn’t even speak, completely loss on your cunt, mind fuzzy. she watched her drool dribble down in between your folds before spreading it with her fingers. your back arched as she pushed her ring middle ones inside, watching your lips stretch around them to take her. she bit down on her lip, moaning when you whimpered as she stared at your cunt being filled and split open by her fingers. you were taking her so easily… “fuck, ellie.” you sighed, moaning when her lips were back on your clit, making your thighs shake. you knew you weren’t gonna last, not when she found your g spot, curling her fingers to hit it over and over and over again. she knew it too by the way your grip tightened on her hair, hums and whines leaving your lips. “i’m gonna cum!” you quickly muttered, moaning as she went faster, sucked harder on that little bundle of nerves.

she didn’t relent until you were gushing inside her mouth, making her groan in pleasure. you always tasted so good. her eyes rolled to the back of her head, tongue desperately lapping at your cum to swallow it whole. you sighed as she fucked your through it, leaving you a trembling mess on her bed as she pulled her fingers out and sucked them clean, her head lazily resting against your shaking thigh.

“feeling better?” you inquired, looking at her hazy reddish green eyes. she was pussy drunk, and being high only made it better. she nodded and you chuckled, trailing your fingers through her auburn hair. “of course you do…”

-

a/n; 🧟 ellie starving for it

@atomicami

[r3starttt]

What’s right

virgin!reader x ellie williams | Read this or DNI

summary: you thought the love you felt for ellie was in a platonic way, but maybe deep inside you the answer was already there, just waiting for it to be revealed, in a dream that Ellie is willing to help you with.

warnings: smut, virginity loss, pet names (pretty girl, babe, baby, good girl), first kiss, corruption, thigh riding.

It’s been aproximately ten years since you first met her, Ellie Williams, your best friend and the person your whole family adores probably as much as they adore you. The only one that knows everything about you, the one that brings your true self, the one that’s seen almost everything.

You’ve been friends since forever, best friends. The type to have sleepovers, to hug and hold hands, cuddle and be all the time together, do everything together. And of course people said things and thought things about it, about how close you were and how best friends don’t to that, but the answer you two gave was always “we’re like family” and it was credible, enough.

It wasn’t a lie though, or so you thought since it was her idea to give the answer. She’d come up with most of the plans, most responses, most of everything. Not because you never suggested anything but because she’s way more stubborn than you are and there’s no way she let you take the big decisions, there’s also no way at all that she takes no as a response and you’re the biggest people pleaser she’s ever known.

And again, it’s been years of friendship, years of seeing each other in all type of ways for many different reasons. Years of what seemed like endless nights of talking nonstop, or days even. Months when there was no school or job or anything to do but be with each other all the time unless Ellie had plans with other girls “friends” that she’ll end up bragging about later. So you knew everything about each other, you’d tell everything detailed, you trusted each other.

And she’d always assure you that everything she did with or for you was for the better, same applied for her, in different ways of course. She’s never been problematic or mean or anything like that, but she was the one to make you smoke and drink for the first time in your life. And you, you only made her listen to your boring music for hours or have the cute and boring plans as she calls them. But at the end of the day, is all fair, you both do what’s best for each other based on your different needs.

That’s why you love her so much, and until this week you’ve thought it was pure platonic love, the one that you feel for your family, and she’s family. But she changed everything, everyone said it’ll eventually happen, and you always, always prayed to god that It didn’t, you failed.

Ellie spoke for hours about this new girl she’d just met, something casual as usual, but apparently it stocked to you because later that day you had a dream about it. And it doesn’t really bother you to have a dream like that, not even because she’s in it, because it doesn’t mean anything right? But it felt too good and too real to forget or ignore or let go. And the more you think about it, the more you keep feeling like it might actually mean something.

Because she was in fact hot, attractive in all possible ways, and she’s not just hot but also pretty, delicate in her way. She’s smart and sweet and knows you incredibly good, and she’s always supportive. And she shows she cares about you, even when she’s all awkward and shy about it she’d do anything to let you know she cares about you as much as you care about her.

And there’s nothing else that you love more than that, and now probably nobody else that can make you feel it, you won’t let anyone else try to fill that space. It’s just not the same even if you tried. It’s not Ellie.

So now that you’re currently at her house in her bed, cuddling, you’ve been thinking about this while situation, how to address it without being awkward for you and without being too explicit as well.

She doesn’t mind it, she knows you’ve had thoughts like this about girls before, but you’ve never done anything romantic with anyone before. Not even kissed anyone or hold hands, nothing. Not because you’re innocent or afraid but because you haven’t found someone worth your first experiences.

“What’re you thinking ‘bout?” you can feel her hands rubbing circles on your back as she speaks, suddenly stopping and letting go of her phone, making you groan. You’ve been watching random shit in her phone for hours, trying to keep her busy from reading you. “Nothing” your hands move unconsciously tighter around her, pressing the side of her stomach and making you feel the small laugh that your very fake ‘nothing’ had elicited in her.

“You’ve been zoning out, I thought you wanted to sleep but you’re clearly not tired, so” she let go of you, slowly readjusting herself on the bed so that she could properly rest her back on the headboard “what is it? Mhm?”

“It’s something sex related, you know it’s all awkward f’ me el” you shifted your eyes towards her half leaded ones, furrowing at her corky smile “see? you’re already laughing at me and I-“ your voices overlapped, making you stop talking first “You gotta find yourself a boy or girl or whatever. If you keep hoping for the one worth your body then you’re gonna fucking lose your mind” little does she know, you thought, laughing at her comment and motioning your hand as in a silent ‘forget it’

“I mean it” Ellie spoke again, clearly determined to make you speak “It’s your fault, maybe if you stopped telling me every detail of all the girls you ‘relieve stress’ with then I would keep being an innocent girl” you positioned your hands together, as if you were praying. Now sitting in front of her.

You stopped the moment she hit your arm, rolling your eyes “You have no innocence in your body, you’ve always been a fucking mess, specially with people” before you could say anything about it she spoke again “Tell me, you know I don’t care” she shrugged her shoulders, making a small pout. She looked particularly pretty today.

“Did you do something today? y’ look different” Ellie rolled her eyes, letting out a exaggerated groan “eyeliner maybe, now stop avoiding and tell me about whatever wet dream you had now” yup, there she was, best friend that knows everything. And the stupid friend that besides being people pleaser knows shit about lying.

“I fucking hate you” a pillow thrown by you made her open her eyes again, chuckling at how obvious you were. “remember what you told me the weekend? I dreamt about it… but you were there and it felt wrong” you mumbled the last words, audible enough for Ellie to understand. She didn’t care, neither did you, well, you tried not to care much. But your body reacted before your mind would let you do anything so you felt already sweating and practically burning. And again, she knew and she noticed, but didn’t care.

“Why? didn’t I fuck you good enough? I’m not worth your body either?” Ellie’s characteristic sheepish smile formed on her face as she got closer to you, leaning on her elbows and tilting her head, mocking you. “I’m not gonna give you details, I’m just saying I feel wrong… it doesn’t mean anything but-“ “it means something, don’t be a pussy and accept you might feel like fucking your best friend”

Hearing the words out loud was less frightening than you would expect, maybe it was Ellie’s voice but the idea wasn’t as disgusting as you felt it was. Not wrong either.

“Stop it, alright? you know I would never” her eyes felt like they were piercing your body, like they could read your mind, like she could eat you alive any moment. And the closer she moved to you the more stupid you felt “Ellie, please” you tried pushing her away once she was practically on top of you, she was playing of course, and she would stop. “You seem to like it, tell me what you dreamt of, Mhm?” Or maybe she meant it this time.

You weren’t sure what to do or say, she’s never played like this with you, and you’ve never even kissed anyone. Yet before you could try anything she laughed. Her hands were pressed on top of yours, sinking in the mattress along your bodies. And her face was so close to yours her mocking laugh brushed your cheeks. You were craving her now.

She let go of you, resting her body against the headboard again and shifting her eyes towards the sides of the bed, looking for an empty space on the wooden tables to place her phone. “Come here” her hands patted her lap, spreading her legs to make some space for you.

And so you did, crawling to her lap and sitting comfortably on it, positioning your legs in between hers. Ellie’s hands slowly cupped your face “I’m doing my job as a friend, this doesn’t count if you don’t want it too, yeah?” a small laugh brushed her lips, mocking your noticeable lost eyes that were wandering all over her face, from her eyes to her lips as she spoke.

She’d made a mess out of you already, without even touching you. But her tenderness, her voice, her body, the way she felt snd smell, everything had a specific effect on you that had been hiding for a long while. It was like drinking for the first time.

Her lips pressed on yours, it was a tender kiss, sweet and gentle. It didn’t last long “it’s okay, it’s only natural baby” her hands moved from your face to your thighs, caressing every inch of them in the most delicate way ever. Nothing you could ever imagine on your own.

So you kissed her again, now with an idea of what to do but letting her guide your every moves. Her tongue eventually got involved as well, dancing with yours and filling your mouth with the most delicious motions ever. Again, nothing you could ever imagine in your own.

You could feel the heat and wetness increase in between your legs, ashamed for getting like this so fast but too focused on Ellie’s body to actually care. She purposely lifted the leg you were sitting on, shaking it the moment she felt her knee against your cunt. “You can move… it’s alright” she mumbled in between kisses, leading your waist with her hands so you could grind on her.

You knew what she liked, based on everything she’d told you before, so you did what you could, moaning on her mouth as she liked it, and letting her guide you as well. You added pressure on your own, riding her leg practically, gently jumping on it whenever you felt like you needed more.

“Yeah, just like that baby. You’re doing so good” her hands tucked your dress on your panties, right above your waist so you could move freely. Then she pushed you closer, making you rest your head on her neck. And you took the chance to do something you’ve dreamt of, tasting it and leaving marks on it along wet kisses that kept making her as wet as you.

You could hear her small whines in your ear every time your kisses an grinding combined, she could cum just by your touch, and so could you. But what was the fun in that?

“What did you dream?” her hands moved back to your ass, guiding it over her thigh, slowly. “Uhm…f-fuck” you couldn’t speak properly, too focused on the sensation “your fingers” you managed to say. It was pathetic for both, to be enjoying this so much. It didn’t feel right, but it didn’t count right?

“That all?” you shocked your head, feeling a knot of pleasure forming on your stomach and your legs getting weaker at every movement Ellie guide your body to do. “I was…on my knees” too shy to say the words out loud you gulped, hoping she’d understand “yeah? what happened first?” The grip on you tightened the moment she noticed you getting closer to your climax, making every move painfully slower “Y-Your fingers… please”

“What a good girl, already begging” her hands grabbed your waist, tight enough to make you stop “take it off, I need to see you whole or I won’t do anything” she gripped your dress as she spoke, pulling the hem of it. You hesitated before doing it, this was new for you, and for the first time ever you felt genuinely innocent with her, so dumb and ashamed of yourself.

Her lips took you out of trance, pressing them on your temple and murmuring something in between “it’s okay” kiss “you can” kiss “trust me” kiss “please baby, just let me see you” and now her eyes were in front of yours, she knew how to use the puppy eyes. You nodded, feeling Ellie’s hands slowly move to the back of your dress, unsipping it.

You stood on your knees, in between Ellie’s legs. You could feel your dress loosening as you heard the zip lowering down your body until it stopped at your lower back. You helped Ellie remove it, raising your arms so she could finally take it off, revealing your bare chest immediately, accompanied by your panties, that were removed as well.

Being completely naked in front of Ellie felt right, it didn’t count, this whole experience. But how you wish it did. The way her excitement is revealed by her eyes, wandering all over you and taking note of every mole, mark, anything that’s in your body and it’s usually unnoticed. Her eyes, her freckles, her hair, her touch and voice, all so gentle yet so hungry. She’s starving already, and you adore that.

Her breathing became erratic as how inviting you looked, she needed to touch you, to hear you and savour you whole.

Ellie tapped the sides of your waist, pushing you carefully and somehow not breaking eye contact. She need you but couldn’t get you as she wanted in her current position, so once she got you sitting in front of her, patiently waiting, she started to take her clothes off.

Being at her house, with you, she wasn’t wearing more than a hoodie she’s probably been wearing for days already. and her usual pair of boxers, already drenched under some black shorts. Ellie was quickly, motioning her hand once she finished so you could sit on her lap again.

You obeyed, sitting on her and waiting for her to instruct your movements again. Both her index and middle finger brushed your lips. You looked at her, furrowing your brows a little “open” Ellie murmured, opening her own mouth as well.

She slowly introduced them inside your mouth, unconsciously smiling at the pretty image in front of her. You took them in, brushing them with your tongue and covering them with your saliva. They moved in and out of your mouth, slowly. “good girl”

Her free hand was resting on your thigh, making small circles near your hip bone with her thumb. You wanted to move, you needed it, but the fear of making a mistake was bigger, it wouldn’t count though, but something inside you felt like it might.

Her fingers came out of your mouth, you noticed the string of saliva connecting them with your lips, letting out your tongue one las time to cut it. “You’re being so good f’ me baby” her voice came out slightly husky, breathing brushing your lips as she spoke.

Her hand trailed down your body until it came to your clit, massaging it painfully slowly and making you sigh in pleasure. She started slow, making small circles on it as her mouth kept occupied by your hardened nipples, her eyes kept fixated on you as she did her every move.

You tried pressing yourself on her, delicately coordinating your body to her motions and rubbing yourself against her fingers.

Her fingers stopped moving on your clit suddenly, moving now up and down your folds until she decided to finally let you have what you wanted, teasing your arousal by pressing the tip of her fingers right above it.

“Ellie…” you whimpered, desperately pressing yourself again her fingers. A ‘pop’ made you look down, realizing how badly she’d been covering both of your breasts with saliva “what baby?” her chin pressed in between them, looking straight into your eyes “I need you, I want you to fuck me” you begged, tightening your fists besides each side of your body, fully desperate “please”

“So pretty…asking for me” Ellie nodded, bringing your face closer to her as her fingers made their way inside you, motioning in and out of your aching cunt. She started slow and gentle, caressing your back until she heard those pretty moans you let out, and her name in small whimpers.

So she did it faster. And you did your job too, riding her fingers at some point eventually, the way they curved inside you, her knuckles hitting the outside of your cunt whenever she did it too hard and how deliciously she kept on rubbing your clit with her thumb. It was impossible for you to keep immobile.

“El, fuck…gonna cum” her smile widened, moving her face to your neck and leaving a tail of wet kisses on it, she murmured a ‘yeah?’ to which you nodded desperately, both increasing its movements until the pleasure became overwhelming, making you press you whole weight on Ellie as you got to your climax. Covering her whole hand in your juices.

“You made a mess pretty girl, mind me helping?” her fingers kept on moving some seconds after you came, abruptly removing them, eliciting a small whimper out of your lips.

You could feel your inner thighs covered in wet, she tried cleaning some of it with the rest of your thighs before moving her hand up your face again. You already knew what to do, licking them and flavoring your own taste.

She moved her face closer to yours as well, removing her fingers out of your mouth once you licked your juices off and pressing her lips on yours one last time “gotta clean you, yeah? you did good, just rest babe”

-

reblogs are very much welcomed <3

Check this !!! FREE PALESTINE

[stars-for-circe]

*points at her pussy* ummmm are you gonna finish that? *tummy grumbles loudly*

[total-dxmure]

✦ INVISIBLE STRING THEORY →【ELLIE WILLIAMS】→ CHAPTER ONE

pairings: modern!marine ellie x reader

summary: the marines didn’t ruin ellie. ellie ruined ellie. after being medically discharged she feels lost. being sent to live with joel is more of a last ditch effort to save her and less of a fun reunion for the father-daughter duo. jackson is worlds different than chicago, but the fresh air and sprawling countrysides are a welcome reprieve. ellie finds herself finding comfort in more than just the change in scenery though. after losing your girlfriend due to an accident you feel as though you’ll never find love again- but that was before meeting ellie williams. the two of you figure out that you have more in common than just the fact that she and your girlfriend were both marines though. tethered by some invisible string, the two of you meeting has to be fate. who would have known that you were the golden ticket to ellie’s recovery?

warnings: eventual smut! lots of tension building and mutual pining. ellie falls first and hard. small town girl meets a frightening, strong ex marine. TW: talk of panic attacks, ptsd episodes and death. come for the ellie smut and stay for the plot and fluff.

⬶ previous chapter | next chapter ⤅

“The fact that she’s military is the only thing saving her ass right now.”

Ellie kept her head bowed down low, her hands clasped in between her legs as she hunched over in the seat, making herself as small as possible. Her knuckles were bruised and scrapped to hell, the blood already dried and crusted. Most of the blood wasn’t hers, and if she thought about that fact for too long she’d probably have an episode. Either that or she’d throw up all over the sheriff’s office.

“Boss, I really appreciate you calling me instead of booking her. You have to understand that she’s in therapy and is on a shit ton of medications. Is the guy gonna press charges. . . ?” Hearing her best friend kiss up to his boss on her behalf had the vein in her forehead twitching.

“Technically the boy was shoplifting, so I doubt he’s gonna go forward with any sort’a legal action. I know she was trying to help, but she used excessive force. Beat the poor kid black and blue. . . I mean-” The officer lowered his voice, and Ellie could hear Jesse’s chair creak as he leaned forward. “His damn tooth was knocked out.” The sheriff whispered.

She closed her eyes tight, running a shaky hand over her face. She should own up to all of this and apologize. This was her fault, so why. . . why was she just sitting there? It was like she was glued to the chair, unable to move her head up. She couldn’t look Jesse in the eye. She was ashamed of herself.

Because she smelled like greasy, unwashed hair and cigarettes, was wearing the same pair of jeans she’d worn yesterday when he invited her over to his and Dina’s for dinner, and now he was having to pick her up at the police station for starting a fight.

A pack of beer. That’s what she’d pummeled the boy over.

He couldn’t have even been her age. He looked freshly legal, and something in her fucked up mind told her that it was okay to hurt him like that. The second that the nice elderly woman behind the counter had started screaming about a man stealing from her, some sort of switch had been flipped in her brain. Loud noises always made her feel anxious, but screaming like that? She couldn’t have stopped the meltdown even if she’d wanted to. So she dropped what she was holding and ran after him. What happened afterwards was. . . well, it was a blur. She squeezed her eyes shut tight and rubbed her temples, trying hard to remember.

Her therapist called them “PTSD episodes”. Random things triggered a breakdown: loud noises, gunshots, screams, flashes of light. . . they were unavoidable. She’d lose total track of time when it happened. One second the door to Ellie’s walk-in closet was closing behind her, plummeting her in darkness, and the next she’d be laying on her back in the middle of her room, balling her eyes out. Living like this was hell, but no matter how many mind-numbing pills she was prescribed, she still found it nearly impossible to function.

She didn’t want to scare her loved ones. When Joel called she just. . . lied. It made her feel dirty. It was wrong and she knew that, but it was better than the alternative. Being a liar was better than being a broken failure.

“Yeah, I’m doing great. My therapist is on to something, I think.”

“Come on, rambo. Let’s get you to bed.” Jesse placed a gentle hand on her shoulder, knowing better than to pat her on the back like he used to.

Ellie knew it hurt him to see her flinch under his touch. She swallowed back bile and stood up, practically having to drag herself out of the officers office. She couldn’t look at him. She couldn’t thank him or- or anything.

But then he did that thing. . . he thanked Ellie.

Ellie didn’t give a shit about the military discounts or the cheaper car insurance- she got a nice cushy check from the military every month just for breathing. She didn’t want pity or thanks simply because she didn’t deserve it.

“Thank you for your service, Williams.” The sheriff’s voice reminded her of Joel’s. For some reason that made it hurt even worse.

Still, her muscles tightened, and she worked hard to straighten her posture.

“It was my privilege.” It was a well rehearsed response. It didn’t even sound like her voice when she had said it though, and it scared her.

As she followed Jesse out to his truck, she tried to ascertain whether she was just beginning to disassociate or whether or not this was all just another strange side effect from her meds.

She blinked and suddenly she was already situated in the car, Jesse on the main road to get the both of them back home. He had the radio turned down to just a hum, his sleepy eyes glued to the road in front of him. The clock on his dashboard told her that it wasn’t just “late” anymore, but “morning” now. Ellie sat up suddenly, her heart pounding as she tried to map out exactly how many minutes she had just lost.

“Fuck.” She breathed, pressing her palms against her eyes.

She needed to call her therapist sometime today. She needed. . . She needed a lower dose of medication. There’s no way any of this was normal.

“Have you eaten?” Jesse asked, turning his head to finally look at her.

Ellie wished that he felt inconvenienced by her. Anger would be better than pity, but the look in his eyes was anything but annoyance. Jesse looked like he was close to tears. He pulled his bottom lip between his teeth, and Ellie felt called to reach her hand out and place it on his shoulder. She wasn’t a very touchy person these days (and it’s not like she was to begin with), but he needed it.

“Not in a couple of hours.” Ellie answered him, letting her fingers dig into the soft fabric of his shirt.

He nodded and cleared his throat, sitting up a little straighter. When Ellie dropped her hand and turned to look out the passenger side window, she could have sworn he lifted his arm to hurriedly wipe at his eyes. She couldn’t be sure though. . . seeing as she was now legally blind in her left eye. The wonky eye and the thin scar that started in the middle of her forehead and ended on her brow bone were the only physical reminders that she had of the explosion.

It seemed so miniscule compared to all of the shit that was going on in her head. She’d much rather have a destroyed body than a brain that didn’t work right anymore.

“How about you sleep in the guest bedroom? Dina’s probably worried sick about the both of us. Let’s. . . let’s spend the day together. Yeah?” It sounded like he was pleading with her.

There was a brief moment of heavy silence. No matter how much of a burden she saw herself as, the thought of going home right now frightened her. Ellie was terrified that she was going to end up all alone in this world, but she couldn’t stop pushing everyone away. It’s almost as if. . . she knew that she was bound to self-destruct at some point. She didn’t want anyone to see her like that.

“She’s going to kill me.” Ellie groaned out, dramatically banging her head against the headrest.

Jesse’s lips twitched up into a smile, but he was quick to try and mask it. “Nah. Dina? Mad at you for getting arrested at one thirty in the morning? No way.” His tone was sarcastic, and Ellie appreciated the fact that Jesse could still joke under circumstances like this. It made things feel almost normal. Almost.

Ellie winced, dragging a battered and bruised hand over her face. She had no idea why she’d been at the gas station picking up a bag of pretzels and a pack of ding-dongs that late at night. A documentary about the recently discovered Exo-planet was on the Discovery channel, and she’d actually worked up an appetite after it was over. She missed acting her age. Maybe that’s why she ended up getting into her Jeep. She was tired of feeling nostalgic and actually wanted to do something for herself. As minuscule as grabbing snacks from the gas station down the street was, it still felt out of the ordinary for her. Special.

Dina was sitting on the couch when the pair slunk into the house, walking on their tip toes in the hopes that the creaking wooden floors wouldn’t wake up JJ. Ellie froze in the entryway, green eyes wide as she took in the female’s crossed arms and death-glare. She was in trouble, which meant that Jesse was in trouble as well by association.

“Do you know what time it is?” Dina whisper-yelled, throwing her arm in the direction of the clock on the wall.

Ellie squinted her one good eye, noting that it was now four in the morning. She’d lost three hours. She should have been passed out on her prescribed sleeping pills by now, plagued by vivid nightmares. Instead she was intruding on her two best friends, and for what? ‘A pack of beer’, she reminded herself. A god damn pack of fuckin’ beer.

Ellie’s mouth went dry, her lips moving but no words escaping her. How many times had she apologized to Dina since she’d gotten home after the accident? Still, her best friend’s anger was better than Jesse’s pity. The sleeves of Ellie’s flannel tightened around her biceps as she crossed her arms over her chest, mirroring Dina’s posture as if to protect herself. She slipped a hand up, covering her neck anxiously.

“I’m getting better, D. I’ll schedule an emergency meeting with my therapist and-” Ellie sounded pathetic, even to her own ears.

What she was doing couldn’t be called living. Ellie was simply existing and not doing a very good job at it either. She was tired of being tired. She blinked her misty eyes, turning to face the kitchen. She refused to cry. Once she started she couldn’t be sure that she’d be able to stop.

Jesse and Dina’s shoes were all neatly laid out by the front door and JJ’s baby bag was sitting on the dining room table. This was a family that she had just burdened. Her eyes snagged on JJ’s highchair, and then the guilt was building right back up in her chest.

Guilt and jealousy.

Ellie had once had hopes of starting her own family eventually. When did she lose her grasp on that? On her lifelong dreams and aspirations? She wanted to help people- save people- so when had she become the one that needed saving? The marines hadn’t ruined Ellie. Ellie had ruined Ellie.

“No, you’re not.” Dina said simply, her voice sounding thick with emotion. “Ellie, look at me.” Her voice was commanding despite her sadness.

Ellie’s eyes fell to the floor, but she turned her head to face Dina, green eyes flickering up to her face. Bottom lip quivering, brown eyes misty- Dina looked miserable.

“You’re not getting better.” She whispered to Ellie, shaking her head to drive the point home. It looked like the words physically hurt for her to say.

Every excuse that she could have given dissipated. Suddenly she felt naked, utterly exposed. Every nasty, jagged scar was on full display. How many times had she said that to the people that cared about her?

“I’m getting better.” “I actually feel a bit better today.” “You don’t have to worry about me. The meds are really working this time.” Ellie wasn’t sure when it happened but she had become a liar. A damn good one too. Dina was looking at her now though, really looking at her, and Ellie’s face crumpled.

“Fuck.” Ellie whispered to herself, moving her hands to cover her face.

Jesse stepped behind Ellie, wrapping his arms around her tightly, resting his cheek on the top of her head. A sob caught in Ellie’s chest and she strangled it before it could escape her. She couldn’t lose it. She couldn’t let her shoulders sag, couldn’t allow herself to feel everything in front of her best friends.

“I called Joel,” Dina finally said, leaning against the back of the couch, her knuckles going white with how hard she gripped the leather. “And he bought you a plane ticket. You’re flying out tomorrow.”

“No,” Ellie was already shaking her head before Dina had even finished her sentence. “How could you do this?” She felt the betrayal like a slap in the face. Her lips parted, eyes wide in silent desperation.

Please let this be a nightmare.

Her hand desperately flew to her arm, giving it a sharp pinch. The floor didn’t fall out from under her. She didn’t sit up sweating in her tangled sheets. This was actually happening. Actually real.

“You’re flailing, Ellie. We thought that eventually you’d level out,” Dina tried, taking a few steps towards Ellie and her husband. “But you’re only getting worse.”

“I’m getting better.” The well rehearsed line was the only thing she could think to utter. She prayed that eventually she could convince herself of that too. If she said the words enough times then maybe, eventually, they would become her reality. Perhaps she could somehow manifest her recovery.

“When was the last time you ate a solid meal? You barely touched your plate the other night. And I know you aren’t eating the food that Jesse drops off for you.” Dina was pointing out her flaws as if she didn’t see them all herself.

A full stomach meant nausea.

“When was the last time you showered?” The dark haired girl questioned.

Showering meant closing herself up into a tight space. It meant getting naked- seeing her scars. Remembering what happened to her and the rest of her unit.

“We know how this will end, Ellie. I don’t care if you hate me for the rest of my life for calling Joel. I refuse to lose you like this.” Dina’s voice quivered as she spoke, but her eyes hardened. She was resolute about her decision.

Jesse’s arms tightened around Ellie and suddenly they no longer felt like a comfort but a prison. She needed air. Needed to call Joel and apologize. Needed to tell him that she was fine. She was fine. She would be just fine.

“I can’t breathe.” Ellie managed to whisper out, knees buckling from underneath her. It felt like the world was finally swallowing her up whole.

She was a failure. She’d failed Jesse, Dina, JJ and Joel. Why couldn’t she just be normal again? Why couldn’t she just fucking breathe.

Jesse let go of Ellie as she began gasping for air, helping to sit her down on the cold hardwood floor. It felt like everything around her had slowed down to a crawl, but her mind- it had sped up to a breakneck pace. She couldn’t turn it off. Couldn’t turn off the thoughts and the images and the feelings.

She’d killed her unit. It was her fault that they all died. They had all been taken home in body bags, and what had Ellie gotten? A fucking government issued check every month that she blew on booze and a Purple Heart that collected dust.

“D, get the medication that’s in the cabinet and a glass of water.” Jesse called out to his wife. It sounded like they were underwater. She was drowning.

“She’s ripping her fucking hair out, Jesse.” Dina called out in panic, rifling through the medicine cabinet with shaky hands. Her best friend gripped her wrists, forcing them back down to her sides. Strands of Auburn hair were tangled up between her clammy fingers.

JJ must have woken up because of the comotion. She could hear him crying from the other room. Screaming for his mother.

Blood. So much blood. It’s coming out of her mouth, what do I do? What do I do about internal bleeding again? Wasn’t I trained for this? Breathe. She’s not breathing. Are there other landmines? Can I drag her to safety? Where is everyone else? H-How. . . How can I help?

“Swallow, Ellie.” Dina was crouched in front of her, forcing her lips open to slide a pill onto her tongue.

“It was my fault. I-I fucking,” She choked out, gagging at the taste of the pill that was beginning to dissolve on her tongue. “I led them out there. Oh, fuck.”

Dina was beginning to panic, pushing the plastic cup up to Ellie’s mouth in the hopes that she would drink. She did, choking back the water in deep gulps. The water helped to fill the aching pit that was beginning to grow in her stomach. Water poured down the sides of Ellie’s lips, but she kept drinking. Deep, thoughtful gulps of ice cold water.

“Should I call an ambulance?” Dina finally asked, her eyes flickering between Ellie and her husband.

“No. No hospital. Just go sit with JJ, alright? I’ve got her.” Jesse told her, letting go of Ellie’s hands so that he could wrap an arm around her waist, hugging her against his chest so that she couldn’t stand up.

Ellie blinked and Dina was gone, the sound of her bare feet jogging down the hall was the only reminder of her presence.

“Joel isn’t going to judge you, Ellie. We all just want to help. So let us, alright?” She knew he was telling the truth, but the thought of Joel seeing her as lesser-than killed her. She would crumble completely if Joel looked at her with the same sorrowful eyes that Jesse did.

Joel was newly retired though, and the last thing he needed was to put up with his PTSD-ridden adopted daughter. She was tired of feeling like a burden, but where had standing on her own two feet gotten her? Arrested on multiple occasions? So she relented. She surrendered to the idea of sleeping in her old bedroom and taking up space in Joel’s too-big ranch home.

“Okay.” Ellie croaked, feeling the medication kicking in. Sleep. All Ellie wanted to do was sleep.

“Okay?” Jesse repeated back to her, needing to know that she was serious. The last thing he probably wanted to do was wrestle Ellie onto the plane. He wasn’t entirely sure he could overpower her when it came down to it.

“Okay.”

Grief was an uphill battle. One minute you’re laughing with your friends and then the next you’re laid up in bed, tossing and turning with the realization that what could have been was now an impossibility. You missed Abby. You missed the life that you could have had with her. All of the memories and milestones you missed out on were soul crushing the second that the sun went down.

You were left in your empty house, laid up in the bed that the two of you once shared. Her scent had long since washed out of her pillow. All that was left were pictures and a gravesite that you still couldn’t bring yourself to visit. Life doesn’t stop when you lose somebody though. People eventually become less forgiving as the months pass by.

So you squeezed your eyes closed and hoped that sleep would come sooner rather than later. You had an early start tomorrow for work, and the last thing you wanted was to show up with puffy eyes.

Life was getting better though. The pain wasn't as debilitating as it had been months ago, and for that you were thankful.

One step at a time, one day at a time.

You were still breathing, which was exactly what Abby would have wanted for you. The overwhelming grief hadn't killed you, no matter how many times you'd secretly prayed that it would. You were still here and that was good enough.

For now, at least.

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