#elliot.entity

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"-us with basic human empathy-"

*loud buzzer*

WRONG! Empathy is not the be all and end all(is that the term?) of being a good person. By using the term 'basic human empathy' to say people that don't agree are wrong is ableist. What the post I saw using this meant was "common sense" or "compassion".

Empathy IS NOT being a good person who cares about others.

Empathy IS feeling others emotions.

The ability to understand emotions or care about others is NOT dependent on empathy.

The post I saw this on was about taking care of animals and recognising them as living and thinking beings. We do agree with this message but have been excluded from the messaging and indirectly called bad people due to not having empathy.

Please stop using empathy when you mean other things. Not everyone has empathy and lacking empathy does not make people bad.

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Tw ableism and saneism against npd and psychopathy

Istg can anyone online be normal about npd? "She has those narc narcissist eyes. The psychopath eyes." EXCUSE ME?!?? THE FUCK DID YOU SAY?!?? Yeah the person you're talking about isn't a particularly nice person but THAT DOESN'T MAKE THEM A NARCISSIST OR PSYCHOPATH! And eyes? HER EYES TELL YOU THAT?!? Someone teach commentary youtubers about npd PLEASE!!!!

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Tw abuse mention and discussing people calling every abuser a narcissist

Istg if I see another video about abuse call the abuser a narcissist with no reasoning other than manipulation, abuse and coercive control I'm going to cry. "Abusers love mentally ill people. If you're mentally ill or neurodivergent watch out because narcissists love us." EXCUSE ME?!? What about the people with npd who get abused by people manipulating their mental illness. The amount of videos I watch where they throw in a subtle reference to the "villain" of the situation being a narcissist is seriously getting to me. And it's so often baked into really good takes. This pop psychology stuff is invading everyone istg.

NPD DOES NOT MAKE PEOPLE ABUSERS!!!! ANYONE CAN BE ABUSIVE AND ANYONE CAN BE ABUSED!!! THERE IS NO SPECIAL "NARCISSISTIC ABUSE"!!!

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I genuinely have no clue who I really am. I think *I* am actually multiple 'mates. But trying to unpack this is so hard. Especially since there are still many 'mates I'm trying to figure out as well. I also struggle to tell when I'm fronting. I'm sort of like always here, just watching without existing. I have ideas about the 'mes', but which one am I?

Another word vomit as I try to think through things sorry.

-Elliot

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We honestly live such a boring life. Like wtf do we talk about. This is really a problem we need to fix because it's not healthy for us. But like... How? Most of us don't even have proper hobbies. I guess we just have to try. Welp this was unnecessary to share but take it anyway.

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Why is people so hard? NOT SEXUALLY!!! WAIT!!! I mean being social and shit. It's so hard. It's just not who I am. Another day of hating myself Ig. And possibly isolating from my "friends" (not their fault).

-elliot

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Minecraft keeping me sane fr

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Me and Toga co-fronting/conning to run this sinking ship of a body.

I want to make a joke WHAT JOKE IS THERE EXCUSE ME TOGA STOP LAUGHING AT ME

Ahem

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Uwownsje the meat sack(body) is being weird and i don't like it

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Hey so I'm really sorry about the recent posts. We and especially I have not been okay recently. We won't go into much detail for privacy. I'm gonna try to work on healing and may not be online as often but we may be lot's who knows.

Stay safe everyone

-elliot

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Damn, I/we are not okay

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"Has Michael Kovach been my mystery man this whole time?" Is an insane sentence out of context so I shall provide none other than I said it.

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Going to be working on/making a little's/agere side blog!

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Okay maybe I'm "the friend that's too woke" but the amount of people mischaracterising mental illnesses and trauma responses or misunderstanding stuff is horrifying. I'm not going to get into exact stuff because of said people and wanting to be private but the amount of dni's we technically break because we know that people likely don't understand the specific language used is upsetting. Ig I just wish this shit was more understood. Or maybe we are horrible monsters that deserve to die.

-Elliot

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Does anyone else have an innerworld/headspace but they can barely access it even though other 'mates can.

Rambling about it below

So I've been in the innerworld like twice that I know. Both times took a lot of concentration and I went to talk to specific 'mates. When there, all I could really see was the general 'landscape' and the 'mates I was there for.

I also know the others are there because they have mentioned it and I sometimes overhear random snippets of conversations. I also think I have some glimpses/memory bleeds (idk if thats a term but it feels right) of moments in the innerworld.

I guess going along with information I'm also pretty much always observing what happens when others front. I'm just in the background watching and thinking about things but not able to control anything unless the fronter has a weaker hold on fronting. I'll usually forget most of what happens during this and will have high emotional amnesia for the rest.

This all (not being with the others) really makes me feel so alone especially since I don't really have any other real connections/friends or whatever. It also kinda makes me feel like I'm faking even though I have so much evidence for the opposite. Like 'nothing can happen if I'm not there' makes me feel like I'm just making it all up. Plus I do think I'm a bit afraid of not being around.

Any advice or whatever would be helpful.

-Elliot

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Wow I've been cleaning/organising for so long I've barely been on here today.

It's not even close to being done.