#endless pain

[fentanyl-rabbits]

"I'm nicer now"

[doomreturn]

[endless----pain]

[rustic-space-fiddle]

ASK AND YE SHALL RECIEVE

(Warning: absolutely no structure to this, this is a rant, this is “POV: you asked me what I thought of Sarah Hawkins while on my lunch break and I spent the entire lunch break rambling at you)

So, Sarah Hawkins. Let’s establish a few things about this woman that are very obvious: she is an exceedingly patient mother; she runs that inn almost entirely alone; Leland’s leaving hurt her just as much as Jim; she loves her son to the moon and back. Now let’s establish a few things that, while not explicitly stated, are kind of assumed: she built that inn herself out of her own home; she doesn’t resent Jim despite his selfish behavior; she fears for his safety, and that he’ll leave her the way Leland did.

According to the art book, Leland and Sarah settled there because the mining on Montressor was supposed to be pOPPIN’. That was Leland’s plan, to make money on Montressor. Plan SUCKED. But Sarah stuck with Leland for eight years, probably listening to his promises that he’d make it big and get them off this rock, and that he’d be home to stay one day. And then one day, he was gone, and he left her with their little Jimbo and that house. She was probably heartbroken, not just for Jim. Just watching her face in the flashbacks and the way she cried when he finally left, she loved that man (trash though he be). But what did she do?

She looked at her little boy, rolled up her sleeves, and turned her house into a way to support her little family. She planted a garden in the back, turned the other rooms into guest rooms; her own little kitchen into a place to make meals for guests, and hauled tables into the main space. She she did all of this presumably alone, maybe with Jim’s limited help (he was freakin 8) and maybe Doppler’s help, though I think they became friends a little later judging by the way he interacts and talks about Jim. From what we see, Sarah works all day and probably well into the night, still finding time to look after Jim and watch over her. And she did this for SEVEN YEARS. The entire time, watching her son slip away and become secluded and sullen and lose his spark. She probably tried to encourage him and prod him in the right direction, but every one of her efforts seemed to fail. STILL, she woke up every day and ran that inn and looked out for her kid. Never a word of complaint. The closest we get to hearing her “complain” is telling Jim that it’d be super great if he didn’t get himself arrested and add to her list of things to do. When she vents to Doppler, she says: “I’m at the end of my rope.” She doesn’t mean she’s fed up with running the inn. She means she’s run out of ideas for reaching Jim. She doesn’t care how much work she has to do, as long as it keeps Jim cared for and on the right path, but it doesn’t feel like she’s done enough or any of the right things.

Then the inn was burned down. Seemingly a freak raid, potentially brought in by Jim after he dragged some unsavory character inside. That was her ENTIRE life, built so carefully out of the rubble and tended for years, and it was burned to the ground in seconds. If any of that was gonna keep Jim steady, it’s gone now. The look of DEFEAT on her face after she looked back at it makes me wanna die every time. When Doppler puts that blanket around her shoulders and she just sits, not hearing anything he’s saying, refusing to look at Jim. WHAT’S SHE THINKING IN THAT SCENE?!? Is she angry with Jim? Just a little? Angry that he couldn’t just for once leave well enough alone?? Or does she think she FAILED??!!?! Like her last effort had been snuffed out and she’d failed Jim?! I hope not. But who knows.

AND WHEN SHE LET’S HIM GO ON THE JOURNEY?! You can tell that even after Jim promises that he’ll come back and make her proud, she isn’t truly convinced. You can tell she wants to be! She wants to believe that. That’s probably what Leland said to her. Jim’s probably made similar empty promises to turn it around in the past as well. She wants to believe this time it’ll be different, but she always believes that, and it never is. But she smiles at him and lets him go anyway, because maybe it will be. She loves him, and she knows she has nothing left to give him. Whatever it is that will help him, she doesn’t have it.

So then, Sarah is alone. Doppler is a bachelor. There’s no one else there for her to talk to. There’s no more inn, which was her life for seven years. No Jim, who was basically all she had for even longer. Now she’s just stuck in this observatory with nothing to do but wait. Maybe she even watched the stars through that massive telescope, wondering where Jim was, and if he’d come back. I’m not sure how long the journey was, but I’m assuming a few months (much shorter cuz of their instant zoom back). I wonder if she was surprised when she got notice of their return, and not just because of how fast it was. When we see her at the spaceport and she sees Jim, she genuinely looks surprised, even before he hugs her! How big had the part of her that feared he’d never come back become?! Either that he’d die out there or take for the distant stars like her scumbag husband.

BUT HE CAME BACK! For the first time in ages it’s her HOPES that are confirmed instead of her fears! And then when he hugs her—how many years had it been since he’d done that? You can see on her face that for the first time in forever, she knows everything will be okay. The weight come off her shoulders. The years of work are made worth it. She looks at him and he’s so different. Taller, a new shine in his eyes, a smile she hasn’t seen in years, but older. She sees that her boy is back and now he’s a young man who KEEPS his promises. Maybe whatever he needed was out there and not with her, but everything she did was exactly what she needed to do, even letting him go, and we see she knows it and it brings youth to her face. She had never failed—she’d done everything he needed.

AND THEN, SHE STILL RUNS HER INN! As a passion now! With that new inn Jim has built for her, she has a new life! She runs it with help, to keep giving that place to the community around her, safe and secure in the knowledge that she did good and will keep doing good.

Basically, Sarah Hawkins is a powerhouse. She is faithful, strong, persevering, clever, loving, and selfless. Never demanding anything for herself, only for her son, and receiving everything she could ever need in turn. She held on for the boy that needed her most, even when she feared she would be left behind for her troubles. She’s a wonderful person, and I wanna be like her.

The real treasure in Treasure Planet was Sarah Freakin Hawkins.

[k-i-l-l-e-r-b-e-e-6-9]

𝔎𝔯𝔢𝔞𝔱𝔬𝔯 - 𝔏𝔦𝔳𝔦𝔫𝔤 𝔦𝔫 𝔉𝔢𝔞𝔯

[beartusks]

what then, my sister?

[piscespixiewastaken]

Reading the latest chapter of Suitor Armor before bed was a mistake AAGGHHGHHHHHGHGHHHH

[shimbongulus]

Also while I'm UTY Posting can we PLEASE talk about that El Bailador fight. My god. It took me SO many tries to get through that bastard and I only survived with barely 8 HP left after 20+tries. I think a part of my sanity is dead on those red and blue lines. There are people for who that fight is piss-easy and people for who it's literal hell, and I'm SOLIDLY in category two.

[dyinginsidealone]

mam coraz mniej powodów żeby zostać

[metalspitfire6g6g6g]

~Kreator-Endless Pain~

[asphyxiating-endless-darkness]

The posers on this earth have no right to live We gonna split their brains, torture is what we give

[fentanyl-rabbits]

I want to live in the unreal (my head is my home)

[blondiest]

wanting to talk shit about something happening at work SO bad but also not wanting to be unprofessional and possibly doxx myself gdhdgfhdhfgh

[sancastarcs]

just watched the entirety of brooks backstory.....will this fucking show stop making me sob over to my pillow...... laboon my beloved.... brook my beloved......when I first watched laboon's episodes I had no idea it had more... brook had to see everyone he ever loved die... and then spent 50 years alone...thinking he couldn't fulfill his promise to laboon....I CAN'T DO THIS ANYMORE

[joeyisourranger]

it’s not enough that the avs are playing like dog shit. now i have to listen to leah hextall

[k-i-l-l-e-r-b-e-e-6-9]

𝔎𝔯𝔢𝔞𝔱𝔬𝔯 - 𝔇𝔶𝔦𝔫𝔤 𝔙𝔦𝔠𝔱𝔦𝔪𝔰