Splatoon 3: Side Order is good, but not great. I still highly recommend it, but if you care about the story, you're going to be disappointed. Quick review: spoilers ahead.
Side Order was the devs experimenting with Splatoon's gameplay loop. The campaign is a rogue-like, and it works amazingly well. Super fun, super challenging, building my deck and fighting through challenges with the stakes of resetting really scratched an itch in my brain. They did a great job with it.
Unfortunately, I feel like priority went to game design rather than story. Much of the mysterious artwork we saw in the first teaser trailer was completely unused; turns out, all of that was just concept art that never made it into the final product. Side Order failed to make me care about what was happening. I don't know why the protagonist had to be Agent 8; it could've been anyone else and the story would've worked the same.
Octo Expansion was the absolute peak of meshing story and gameplay. The campaign's hook is insanely strong; we immediately empathize with Agent 8 because we know from previous lore that octolings like her have been trapped underground for all their lives. We care about her fight to the surface because it's a fundamentally ideological fight for freedom. The plot stuff about Tartar and the Thangs is just nice set dressing; 8's fight for freedom is the real story.
There's none of that in Side Order. I don't particularly care about Marina's metaverse, even if it's tied to Octo Expansion's story. I don't know why Acht is there other than backstory stuff. It really feels like 8 is just told to do something and she does it because she's the protagonist; she has zero personal stakes or motivations in the conflict. This is a story blunder the devs did in Splatoon 3's default campaign––forgetting to give the protagonist a personal reason to fight––that I hoped would be fixed here, but alas.
What makes it worse is that the gameplay and story progression are completely out of sync. I beat the entire game on my third run in 4 hours. With each run, you get up to two keys to potentially unlock bits of story. That means you'll get about one piece of the story every two runs. There are twelve pieces of the story; I got the first and then beat the whole damn game. Now I have to go back and grind to see the remaining story when I've already beaten the final boss and resolved the conflict. I missed the entire story because I never had to reset because I blazed through the gameplay! It's just a real shame that I experienced everything without knowing... why it's happening. The final boss had me asking myself what the hell is going on because I don't know the backstory at all.
Again, I still really recommend. The devs did a great job, but Side Order remains in the shadow of Octo Expansion's incredible success. Like the default singleplayer campaign, there's just a lot of lost story potential here that, while not necessary, would have really elevated this DLC into something amazing.
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Didn't think I'd see the take "hating Izzy is misogyny-coded" today. Honestly I can't even be mad because at least that's something I've never heard before. It's like we're just making up new sentences. Izzy, the most traditionally masc character on the crew who historically reacts with strong prejudice to men behaving in ways that are gender-nonconforming, is the closest thing to a woman on the show (and don't think I'm missing the implication that the women of color, especially in s2, don't count). Sure. Great. We have to be nice to Izzy because it's misogynistic if we don't. Love it
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tbh i think a lot of the people saying "well both sides are wrong"/"bt stans are just as toxic" are just not exposed to other perspectives in this fandom. as a buddie fan who's been watching this show since s1, i can safely say that buddie fans have always been toxic. like as fact. to me, to say that bucktommy fans are just as harmful or just as annoying or just as bad as buddies consistently are is just. delusional. indicative of at worst a biased opinion and at best an uninformed one. buddie has been here since s2 and fans have ruthless ever since. bucktommy has been here for 3/4 of a season and for the most part, stay in their lane. i'm sure there are bucktommy fans who suck, like that's just being on the internet, but you have to be blind to ignore how insane buddie fans are and genuinely how much worse they are in comparison.
i don't want to generalize and i think constantly adding that disclaimer is annoying as hell bc obviously i'm not talking about everyone but because buddie has been here for so long and taken up so much mental space of very die-hard, passionate fans, you're going to see much more intensity on that side. after season 5, i had to step away from the fandom and the show because of how frustrating it got. it was annoying to see people swear up and down buddie will be canon by the end of s3-no wait s4-no wait s5-no wait- and ultimately it sucked my enjoyment out of a show i otherwise enjoyed because i got swept up in the Buddie Of It All and forget about why i watch the show to begin with. we've been left to stew in our theories and now we can't tell what canon and what's fanon anymore, and when the show reminds us, the disappointment and frustration kills our hopes.
i was also active in the dan and phil fandom and supernatural fandom, like ik why people think we're annoying and it's because we are. we make everything about the one thing we like, we comment on every post begging for it to become canon, we're violently disappointed when the show doesn't play into our fan theories because we've convinced ourselves buddie is going to happen by the end of the next episode or actually the end of this season or actually maybe the end of the next season. we've torn a part every female love interest, either making them boring or making them unlikeable in our fanon. all that to say is that when people call us annoying, they're telling the truth and when bucktommy fans say buddie fans are toxic, they're coming from a sincere place. i mean we can't even enjoy our own ship because we're so quick to get our hopes up and be let down about something as stupid it becoming canon. who cares if it becomes canon, just like it to like it.
and it makes sense why there's perceived "toxicity" on the bucktommy side. our energy is being matched; the obsession, the passion, the surge in fandom. if you don't like it or even just find it annoying, i suggest you guys look back on your own posts and comments and behaviors towards other people in the fandom and other characters and unbiasedly compare it to the Toxic Bucktommy Shippers you're claiming you hate. if bucktommy fans are obsessive, it's because we've set the stage for that. if bucktommy fans are getting aggro and defensive, it's because buddie fans have been on the opposition and don't know how to turn it off. we've gone from underdog to bully somewhere in the last 6 seasons.
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Lena: So. What’s taking you to Milan?
Kara: Oh no…
Lena: During your “big work thing”.
Kara: Okay. This isn’t what it looks like.
Lena: God, can’t you be any more original than that?
Kara: Not really no. Because, it looks like I’m having an affair, doesn’t it?
Lena: Yes it FUCKING does.
Kara: Yeah. And I’m not. What I’m doing is… I’m saving the world from an alien invasion.
Lena: You’re-what? No you’re not.
Kara: Yeah, I am… and I’m really sorry.
Lena: What? I mean y-y-y-you’re not. But why are you?
Kara: Because… and again, I am so sorry. That’s my job.
Lena: It’s not. You’re a Personal Assistant.
Kara: No. I’m a Superhero. Quite- quite a famous Superhero.
Lena: So that Superhero we see on the news that looks and sounds exactly like you…
Kara: Supergirl? Yeah that’s me. I wear glasses so no one can tell.
Lena: But why would you hide this from me???
Kara: Because when we first met, you, very charmingly, explained to me how Kryptonian powers work.
Lena: Did I?
Kara: Yes you did. It was basically the first conversation we ever had, and then immediately afterwards, like straight away you asked me what I did for a living. And I thought well if I say Kryptonian Superhero you’ll feel really stupid, so I said Personal Assistant.
Lena: Why Personal Assistant?
Kara: Because I thought it was so boring you wouldn’t ask me any other questions. You did though. You were very sweet and you asked loads of questions. Which I answered. Making it hard to go back from it on a second date… And then the relationship continued, and I don’t know, at a certain point I just realised it’s now impossible ever to tell you.
Lena: A certain point? What, like our wedding day?!
Kara: No, way before that.
Lena: So what did you think was going to happen in the end?
Kara: I suppose I thought something exactly like this was going to happen in the end…
Lena: Is this all really true?
Kara: Yeah. And I mean… I can prove it quite easily.
Lena: So… you’re not having an affair?
Kara: No, I swear I have never, EVER cheated on you.
Lena: But you have lied to me. Since the day we met. About what you do, what you care about, basically who you are.
Kara: Yeah… Yeah. That’s worse isn’t it?
Lena: …. No it’s way better. Just don’t ever do it again, okay?
Kara: It’s hard to see how I could.
Source: John Finnemore's Souvenir Programme
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