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thatbadadvice · 1 year

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Help! My Girlfriend Bought Me A Million Dollar House And Raised My Kids And All I Got Was This Million Dollar House And Someone To Raise My Kids, When Is It Finally Going To Be My Turn To Get A Break??????

Pay Dirt, Slate, 17 April 2023:

Dear Pay Dirt, My longterm girlfriend and I disagree about whether a $30,000 inheritance left to her by her great-aunt should be “her” money or “our” money. She wants to spend a large part (almost a third!) of it on expensive supplies for her hobby. I think that we should save most of it and use some of it on a vacation since we both find traveling extremely romantic. My argument is: 1) I don’t care about her hobby, but we’ll both enjoy a trip abroad; 2) we’ve lived on only my (admittedly low, since it’s academia) income for over a decade, so according to her own rule about entitlement to “her” windfall, shouldn’t she technically have been entitled to none of my wages all these years? Her argument is: 1) she had to put aside her hobby for many years to raise our children (it’s not a safe art form for young kids to be around) and yearns to return to it; 2) she paid entirely in cash for our $950k house at the beginning of our partnership (though my income pays the property taxes and maintenance costs), therefore she alleges that we haven’t actually been living on solely my income because I’ve been saving on rent all these years. I feel resentful of the double standard about control over finances and hurt that she would rather prioritize her own joy over our shared joy. She feels impatient to reconnect with her hobby and hurt that her contributions to our lifestyle are unseen. How do we reconcile our different viewpoints? How should the money be allocated? Is there something that we’re missing? —I’m About to Glass(Blow) a Fuse

Dear About to (Glass)Blow a Fuse,

I hope you don't mind that I corrected your very clever parenthetical sign-off! You're understandably dealing with a lot of hurt right now at the hands of the cruel and self-absorbed girlfriend who bought you a million-dollar home and abandoned her beloved hobby to raise your children, so I totally get why a brilliant, overworked, and under-appreciated academic genius such as yourself would fuck up something so incredibly simple and obvious, you poor thing. Really speaks to the distress you're in as the victim of this woman's sordid scheme to steal every ounce of joy from your life by experiencing some of her own after decades of managing your household for you for free.

Great relationships are built on the exactly equal division of all resources, and it sounds like your girlfriend has trouble grasping this because she seems to believe that the home you live in and the time she has invested raising your children for you have value, when of course they do not. The only thing that has value in this world is cash money, which is why we call it money. If parenting were valuable, you'd be able to trade it on the stock market! And what was your girlfriend going to do, not live in a house? These are things she'd have done with her life anyway, and they don't get to count toward her contribution to the household just because she did them for and with you instead of expressly and specifically pursuing her art. Whereas who knows what you could have done with your life if you hadn't been locked into a free house and a partner dedicating herself full-time to keeping your children alive for you?

Now, after all these years of being nothing but a worthless freeloader whom you support out of the generous goodness of your kind heart, your girlfriend has finally acquired something of value, and she wants to keep an entire third of it for herself? To do something that doesn't directly benefit, enrich, or entertain you personally? That's not equity, and it's certainly no way to repay you for periodically writing checks to the plumber. Isn't it about time you finally got something out of all of this for your trouble?

What benefit is there for you in having a partner who enjoys the sweet satisfaction of creative fulfillment after years of yearning to express herself? What kind of weirdo wants their girlfriend to have her own interests? And what kind of ungrateful hussy doesn't jump to spend thousands of her own money on a romantic vacation with someone who actively resents even entertaining the possibility of the idea of her doing something that makes her artistic spirit sing?

The balance sheet of this relationship is indeed all out of whack, and it's too bad that it's taken this long for your girlfriend to see just how uneven your bargain has been. If we're going to get technical about what has "value" in a relationship — and it does seem like your girlfriend is an inveterate bean-counter in the worst way around this stuff — the best way to reconcile your mutual account, as it were, is to present your girlfriend with an itemized bill for all the services you have provided her over the years, such as allowing her to buy you a home, permitting her to forego a wage-earning career, and gifting her with the opportunity to abandon her favorite hobby. That should pretty swiftly put everything you're "missing" in stark relief, and solve the question of how she should allocate her money in the future.

#advice #bad advice #money #financial advice #slate #pay dirt #vacations #inheritances #finances #this goofy chucklefuck

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bimboficationblues · 4 months

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as that anon message you got shows, the term "liberal" gets hurled around a lot as an insult on the left. what would you say are the necessary and sufficient conditions to be a liberal? i think having a straight answer for this would help remedy this sort of behavior

not sure what anon you're referring to. regrettably I don't think you're going to get people to stop using terms in loose or disagreeable ways no matter what, it just is the nature of political terminology (definitionally up for contestation) and language in general. part of the difficulty here is that the same term gets used to describe a political system, an ideology or hegemonic worldview, and a form of political identification

but as far as necessary/sufficient conditions go I like Charles Mills' formulation:

an axiology: committed to individual freedom to pursue the Good, governance by 'consent', the guarantee of specific political and economic rights (non-exhaustive list)

a social ontology: equal moral persons who are atomized or individualized and whose individuality, particularly their self-interested pursuit of their own Good, makes a functional society

a theory of history: endless progress, the accumulation of knowledge and the application of it to advancing human well-being (though this can be more or less Panglossian)

and would add a couple of my own:

a political methodology that gives priority to reform and positive law

an economic worldview that emphasizes the efficiency of money and markets and affirms private property as a central right (often *the* central right)

my own sort of working definition of liberalism writ large is that it's a kind of aristocratic legalism which has a key value of "security" (this is inspired by the work of Geoff Mann and Mark Neocleous), an investment in predictable, consistent outcomes that also expresses itself as a fundamental anxiety about the tenuousness of these institutions and of "civilization" as a whole (an interesting point of overlap between Keynes and Hayek). that's what I kind of see as the throughline between the combination of money, markets, law, and reform.

I would say that the elements listed above which automatically send up the yellow flag, for me, are the political methodology and the theory of history - either a sort of blinkered optimism/false realism about the ability to endlessly patch up our existing institutions or someone who has bought into a kind of linear historical narrative of constant improvement

even though I am not a market socialist and think that is probably excessively "liberal" for my own tastes, I think it is plausible to hold that position without being a liberal, if that makes any sense (it may not). inversely, the axiology of freedom, universalism, &c., often get cited as exclusive to liberalism, but I really don't think they are and remain unpersuaded by the various factions (commie, lib, postcolonialist, and so on) that have argued otherwise. not that I think ideas of freedom, equality, etc. are above conceptual critique per se, but I think I wouldn't assume somebody is a lib because they truck in that language.

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ginalr · 1 year

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I am not particularly invested in Build as a fan so maybe its easier for me to take a step back mentally around this shit.

I'm with-holding all opinions and side-taking until idk some sort of solution comes out. Esp now there is legal involvement. I have my doubts about Poi's credibility since the writers have been pulling all kinds of bullshit with harassing actors and shit for a while, but Build is no perfect little angel and is on his second chance in the view of a lot of fans. I do not know him or what he is capable of so my doubt in him is more or less equal to my doubt in Poi. Idk if he's actively come out to counter anything though other than saying he didn't take part on any plagerism re. 4 minutes.

I am concerned that the hate directed at bui could have tragic outcomes, especially if the allegations are not true.

I feel bad for Bible and kinda wish BOC would either get him working with Jeff or someone else. Daemi has completly set any chances of a KPS2 on fire even before this crap kicked off. If the allegations are found to be false and BOC keep Build, or even if the allegations are found to be true and BOC drop Build, there is no way BOC and the writers can continue any kind of relationship. Daemi is toxic property and not worth the horseshit at this point. There's a possibility they might come to the same conclusion with Build also, seeing as this is his second time in the cancellation circus - though this is clearly worse and far more serious than just some awful shit he said a few years ago.

I know we like to say 'believe victims' and 'believe women' but we should also be aware here that there is a possibility Poi is lashing out and not all of the allegations may be true, so unloading hate towards Build and going full public persecution on him is a wee bit premature. I can see a few different scenarios whether either the abuse allegations are falsehoods spinkled in amongst truths or the whole relationship is being misrepresented and the abuse allegations are false, and different motivations for her to do this. Screenshots can be faked, at least one photo has already been called out for being false so... So I'm just gonna see how this plays out.

If the drama is too rich for your blood and you have to bounce from supporting him/being a fan that's cool though. Do what you gotta do. You have no obligation to these people - you do not know them.

I have seen full on and blunt wishes for death/hopes for Build to end himself though and that really rubs me the wrong way.

Anyways, its fine to still like KP, still like vegaspete and still like Pete as a character. Sometimes you gotta sever the relationship between the character and the actor and it's totally valid if you feel the need to do so.

#build #be on cloud #bullshittttt #idk man #i still like vegaspete and will still write my fic very very slowly #build jakapan #kinnporsche cast

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mariacallous · 14 days

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The April 10 legislative elections in South Korea loom especially large for President Yoon Suk-yeol. After winning his election in March 2022 by the narrowest margin in the country’s history, the conservative Yoon inherited the National Assembly elected in 2020, in which South Korea’s liberals won a historic landslide thanks to the Moon Jae-in administration’s strong response to the COVID-19 pandemic. Out of the legislature’s 300 seats, the liberal coalition won a 180-seat majority, the largest margin of victory in South Korea’s democratic history.

Two years into his five-year presidential term, Yoon has left a mark in areas that are down to the president alone. Yoon made profligate use of presidential decrees, executive orders that don’t require legislative approval. In his first year, Yoon issued 809 presidential decrees, while his two immediate predecessors, Moon and Park Geun-hye, issued 660 and 653 decrees, respectively, in their first years. Yoon also exerted influence through his appointments—most notably Park Min, the new head of the state-owned broadcaster KBS who sacked popular liberal journalists as soon as he took office. In foreign policy, Yoon capitulated to Japan’s demands to sideline World War II-era Korean forced laborers and release wastewater from the failed Fukushima Daiichi nuclear power plant, paving the way for U.S.-Japan-South Korea trilateral cooperation.

But in areas that require legislative assent, Yoon has been stymied. The South Korean Constitution allows the executive branch to directly propose a bill to the legislature. For the first six months of Yoon’s presidency, the National Assembly refused to pass a single bill proposed by the government. Yoon’s campaign pledge of abolishing the Ministry of Gender Equality and Family, pandering to the toxic misogyny rampant among young Korean men and fueling their conservative turn, has not come to pass because a reorganization of cabinet ministries requires passing a law. (Yoon has responded by simply refusing to appoint a gender equality minister.)

Meanwhile, the opposition Democratic Party has leveraged its commanding majority to pass laws that could have been highly damaging to Yoon, such as providing for special prosecutor investigations of the Itaewon Halloween disaster, in which 159 partygoers died in crushing crowds in Seoul’s popular nightlife district, and the alleged stock pump-and-dump scheme on the part of first lady Kim Keon-hee. Each time, Yoon responded by exercising a presidential veto, quickly racking up nine vetoes in the first two years of his presidency—equal to the total number of vetoes exercised by six of his predecessors combined.

Naturally, the Yoon administration and the ruling People Power Party (PPP) are heavily focused on recapturing the legislative majority in elections this month. Yoon was able to win the presidency by flipping a significant part of Seoul from liberal to conservative between 2020 and 2022, by pandering heavily to grievances over rising property tax. The real estate slump since Yoon’s election—Seoul’s condominium prices dipped by more than 7 percent in the past year—threatened to erode that support, as the lower condo price damaged upper-middle-class Seoul residents’ primary investment while the decreased profits and higher interest rate pushed large construction companies to the brink.

In response, South Korea’s Financial Supervisory Service audited banks for charging what the regulators claimed were overly high interest rates, in a move seen as a tactic to pressure banks to extend loans to companies that posed a credit risk. The government also delayed the publication of major economic indicators such as the previous year’s budget deficit and the rising price of consumer goods until after election day on April 10.

For its interim leader in the run-up to the election, the PPP tapped Han Dong-hoon, Yoon’s justice minister and heir apparent. Because of his patrician air and relative youth at 51 years old, Han has been hailed as representing the next generation of conservatives. In the words of conservative columnist Kim Soon-deok of Dong-A Ilbo, Han stands in contrast to Yoon in three ways: “First, he does not drink. Second, he is not a stinky old man. Third, he dresses well and speaks with refined language.” With Han at the center, the conservative party has been able to distance itself from the deeply unpopular president.

The Yoon administration also enjoyed a bump in popularity with its proposal to increase the number of medical students by 2,000—a significant jump from the current level of around 3,000. South Korea has a very low number of doctors, which has resulted in a lack of access to medical care especially outside the Seoul metropolitan area. At just 2.6 doctors per 1,000 people, it’s as low as in the United States, which also has a significant and artificially created shortage, and less than half of the number of most developed countries. Doctors reacted strongly, with more than 90 percent of interns and residents going on strike. Nevertheless, the Yoon administration effectively painted doctors as money-grubbers who wished to artificially restrict the size of their ranks to protect their bottom line. With all these moves, by late February it appeared that Yoon and the conservatives had put themselves in the pole position.

Meanwhile, South Korean liberals have been mired in a civil war. Lee Jae-myung, the leader of the Democratic Party and a former presidential candidate who opposed Yoon, began as a member of the minority faction within his party. As the Democratic Party finalized its slate of candidates in February, the legislators not aligned with Lee found themselves sidelined from running for their seats again. Many of them—including high-ranking members such as Assembly Deputy Speaker Kim Young-joo—quit the party, casting their lot with the PPP or seeking a third-party bid with former Prime Minister Lee Nak-yeon, who lost a bitter presidential primary against Lee in 2021.

But the campaign landscape changed dramatically in March as a new third party, the Rebuilding Korea Party (RKP), took the scene by storm. The RKP was founded by Cho Kuk, who was widely considered to be the heir apparent to Moon as the liberal president’s justice minister. Instead, Cho’s short time in office fueled the rise of Yoon.

As South Korea’s prosecutor general at the time, Yoon conducted a massive investigation campaign against Cho and his family, eventually putting his wife in prison for forging a service certificate that was included in their daughter’s college applications. Yoon’s prosecution of Cho galvanized the conservatives, who saw Cho as a symbol of liberal hypocrisy. Liberals, on the other hand, saw Cho as a martyr whose family was destroyed for the sake of Yoon’s quest for power.

With Yoon’s unpopularity, the latter narrative began to win out. The RKP’s slogan is not subtle: “Three years is too long,” referring to the remaining term of Yoon’s presidency. The new party quickly became the rallying flag for South Korean liberals critical of Yoon but disappointed with the Democratic Party’s internal squabbling. Even moderates began joining the RKP ranks, attracted by the clear message of punishing the Yoon administration. Within weeks of its launch, the RKP became South Korea’s most popular party with approximately 25 percent support.

A major turning point came on March 18, when Yoon made a highly publicized visit to a supermarket—a photo op to show that the president was tending to the wild increase in food prices. In January and February, the cost of food in South Korea increased by 6.7 percent year over year, with popular items like apples rising by as much as 121.9 percent in the same period, resulting in some supermarkets selling a single apple for 19,800 won (about $15).

At the supermarket, Yoon held up a bundle of scallions and said: “I do a lot of grocery shopping, and 875 won for a bundle seems reasonable.” But in most grocery stores around South Korea, a bundle of scallions typically sells for between 4,000 and 7,000 won; the supermarket that Yoon visited just happened to be running a suspiciously well-timed promotion on scallions.

Yoon’s attempt at Potemkin produce, over a household item whose price is common knowledge, instantly became fodder for viral mockery. Especially in the Seoul metropolitan area, where partisanship is relatively weak and election results tend to alternate, support for the conservatives began crashing. Yoon’s gaffe, and the rise of his nemesis Cho, is threatening to reverse the gain that South Korea’s conservatives have made in Seoul in the past two years.

Seeking to recapture the momentum, Yoon took to the bully pulpit on April 1 to exhort the striking doctors to return to work. But the government’s standoff against doctors is now losing popularity, as the public is facing the consequences of a lack of medical care, such as emergency rooms rejecting ambulances and cancer surgeries being delayed indefinitely. The newly elected head of the Korea Medical Association vowed that the doctors would not negotiate unless Yoon apologized and sacked the health minister.

In his April 1 statement, Yoon offered no compromise—a stance that has done little for conservatives as election day approaches. After the president’s address, one unnamed conservative legislator despaired: “I feel like a dinosaur looking up at the oncoming comet, sensing our extinction.”

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bethanydelleman · 1 year

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Do you know if dowries for wealthy families were usually predetermined standard amounts, or whether it was some function of income / number of daughters?

Looking at Pride and Prejudice alone, it seems that it’s about (income x 3) / # daughters: Mr. Bennet’s 2000 gives each girl about 1000 pounds, and Darcy’s 10,000 gives Georgiana 30,000.

I feel like that’s the wrong way to go about calculating a dowry, since I’m sure if Darcy had another sister she would also get 30,000, but I’m not sure how it was done, and some (light) research didn’t help.

Short answer: it seems like many women’s fortunes are made up of their mother’s former dowry, split between them. This may be added to, but the wealthiest unmarried women in Austen’s novels are usually from small families (or have few sisters), meaning less division of the original fortune took place.

Long and kind of rambly Answer:

First, we must remember that the #1 rule of Jane Austen finance is Never Spend the Principle. These people for the most part are living on the income of generational wealth. A good portion of this wealth is in land, but some is in investments. They never spend that money. (Also, a lot of the time, they literally can’t spend the principle, it’s in trust and protected by legal agreements)

When a woman marries, her fortune can be, and it seems like often is, preserved for her children in the marriage articles (legal agreement made at the time of marriage, similar to a will). We see this with Mrs. Bennet. She brought £4000 into the marriage, one additional thousand must have been supplied by the Bennet family, resulting in a safe £5000 for the mother and daughters. Now if Mr. Bennet was prudent, he could have reinvested the income on that fortune, resulting in very healthy dowries for his own daughters, but if course he didn't. (I have a whole post about that here)

Now here is an interesting point, the £5000 set aside for Mrs. Bennet and her daughters is not already divided. This means if the Bennets wanted to tempt a man to marry one of their daughters, they could offer the full £5000 as one daughter’s dowry. However, that isn’t what we see most commonly in Jane Austen’s novels; we see equal division. But we do see many fortunes that are not released until the death of both parents.

For example, here is Anne Elliot’s fortune: “a small part of the share of ten thousand pounds which must be hers hereafter”. Anne’s dowry is most likely in trust, unable to be touched by her father. However, the wedding articles probably give him a life interest and since he needs the income, she doesn't get it right away. Anne will probably get her money upon her father's death. This amount is most likely Lady Elliot’s dowry, divided between her daughters. Henry Tilney is getting a similar inheritance: Of a very considerable fortune, his son was, by marriage settlements, eventually secure. But it does not go to Henry until his father dies. John Dashwood inherits a similar fortune from his mother.

You can see here why it’s a problem if you marry someone who is penniless and you don’t have a big income! Mr. Bennet doesn’t have a big fortune to start with so he really, REALLY needed to save...but even Darcy is going to have to be prudent to give his daughter’s sufficient fortunes down the road having married the poor Elizabeth Bennet. Marrying for wealth wasn’t only greedy, it’s about maintaining this generational wealth. If too much leaves in dowries, you get into trouble. Or you have to provide less money and your daughters don’t marry as well as you desire.

Some of the large dowries we see are from trade: Caroline Bingley’s 20k, Sophia Grey’s 50k (the future Mrs. Willoughby), and Augusta Hawkins’s 10k (the future Mrs. Elton). Lady Middleton and Mrs. Palmer are the daughters of a tradesman as well. This is important because this money is new, which a lot of old families desperately needed after getting into debt. Many properties were entailed, meaning they could not be sold. If you got into debt, it was hard to get out because you can’t sell anything. And for families in trade, well-educated and wealthy daughters had a good chance of marrying up.

So, Georgiana Darcy’s fortune may well be the money that Lady Anne brought into her marriage. Importantly, Georgiana is an only daughter. I actually doubt if she had a sister that they would both have 30k, they might have 15k or 20k each. The wealthiest women we see come from very small families, like the wealthy Caroline and Louisa Bingley, Emma and Isabella Woodhouse, Anne de Bourgh, and Miss Morton, the only daughter of Lord Morton (S&S). Even Agusta Hawkins is one of only two children. Which makes sense because it’s hard to save, but it’s easy to just take the dowry and pass it on, which if you are an only daughter works out great. If you are Catherine Morland it might not work so well.

Further reading (though I must note this article has a misquote from P&P)

Also, Wives & Daughters by Elizabeth Gaskell really gets into the problem of generational wealth and gentry slipping into poverty. Makes for an interesting study (The Hamleys of Hamley are the family)

#question response #jane austen #fortunes

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gothicprep · 10 months

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the one maxim that’s always come up in terms of the business end of the movie industry is william goldman’s maxim of “nobody knows anything” which was mostly true in the 1970s. and later on you’d have jaws, and Star Wars, and rocky, and rambo, the blockbuster era basically. so you arrive at this exception, which is, “all else being equal, sequels to successful movies perform better than non-sequels”. then marvel came along and added an additional insight, which is that you can use a movie not to just set up a sequel, but this whole universe and array of additional movies. people come because they liked the previous thing, which makes sense as a viewer because you only have so much time and money, and as an executive bc you’re more likely to invest in something you know is going to work. it doesn’t eliminate the amount of chance involved but it definitely reduces it.

the problem is with the movies that are being made rn which are sequels and spin-offs and parts of extended universes and supposed to operate on that principle of “thing you already liked”, they haven’t made enough movies that people have really liked in a really long time. so you’re just relying on goodwill that’s being driven by a handful of tinder sticks. but you can’t ride on the fact that people liked infinity war and endgame forever. eventually people expect you to make something that wows them again. and there’s a lot of reluctancy to do something with these properties because it’s almost like they’re afraid they’ll screw up the momentum that they don’t actually have anymore.

I’d carve out exceptions for the spiderverse and john wick movies, but those are new in terms of both style and tone. but by the time we get to spiderverse 7 and the john wick extended universe, this will have happened too because it always happens eventually. and the budget will go up each time, because the more likely something is to be a hit, the more leverage you get for charging a premium to come back. don’t forget, you’re here forever.

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beardedmrbean · 11 months

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DETROIT − A Michigan city council banned LGBTQ Pride flags from being displayed on all city properties Tuesday night after months of debates.

The Hamtramck City Council voted unanimously on the resolution, introduced by Mayor Pro Tem and Councilman Mohammed Hassan, which also prohibits the display and flying of flags with racist and political views, according to the Detroit Free Press, part of the USA TODAY Network.

Hassan and other members of the council said LGBTQ people and others are welcome in Hamtramck, but need to respect religious freedom. Proponents of the resolution said the Pride flag clashes with their faith, and argued American soldiers sacrificed for the U.S. flag, not the Pride flag.

Before the vote, Hassan blasted critics of the resolution for not respecting the views of Hamtramck residents.

"Please don't threaten us ... I'm the elected official ... I'm working for the people, what the majority of the people like," Hassan said.

Hamtramck, whose population jumped 27% from 2010 to 2020, has the highest percentage of immigrants among cities in Michigan and is the only city in the U.S. with an all-Muslim city council and mayor. About half of the city is either of Yemeni or Bangladeshi descent.

Tuesday’s vote was the latest in an ongoing debate stretching back 15 years over LGBTQ rights in Hamtramck.

In 2008, conservative Christians launched an effort to defeat a ballot proposal in Hamtramck that would have protected gay rights by reaching out to the city's Muslim community to hold rallies and defeat the proposal backed by LGBTQ advocates.

In 2021, then-Mayor Karen Majewski flew the Pride flag outside city hall, which drew criticism from challenger Amer Ghalib who defeated her. On Tuesday, Ghalib spoke out in favor of Hassan's resolution.

"We serve everybody equally with no discrimination, but without favoritism," Ghalib said.

Three city council seats are up for election this year in Hamtramck.

Resolution ‘sends a clear message of discrimination,’ Hamtramck resident says

A majority of the public comments submitted by email and read by Hamtramck City Clerk Rana Faraj at the meeting opposed the resolution.

LGBTQ people and their supporters said the resolution would push them out of Hamtramck and reduce investment in the city. They called the resolution backwards and bigoted.

"The LGBTQ community is the life blood of our organization," executive director of Planet Ant Theatre in Hamtramck Darren Shelton said at the meeting. "I don't think sexuality is a political issue."

Hamtramck resident Hayley Cain said the resolution "sends a clear message of discrimination."

"The Pride flag represents making space for all humans on all the spectrums and this is where we're going as a human species," she said. "You can't stop that."

Some people said Muslim immigrants, who faced discrimination when they immigrated to Hamtramck, should be more sensitive about discriminating against other groups.

#nunyas news #ok this is funny #and not all at the same time

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fratboykate · 1 year

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No! Papi! Don’t look at the buzz cut, look at me *dangles pocket watch in a hypnotizing motion* repeat after me: you neeeed to give us bgau 5yrs after snippet. Flo’s hair is still attached to her head. Everything will be fine

But also Netflix needs to get their shit in gear. Good luck bending them to your will

Y'all are so ridiculous lmao. Here's 2.5k words that are probably equal parts angst and domesticity. This is five years post divorce.

///

Yelena sits at a high-end restaurant, sharing her table with a captivating black woman whose radiant smile and crown of ebony curls exude a natural beauty. Their laughter fills the air, a reflection of the deep intimacy and ease that comes with dating for over a year.

With her effortless charm and resilience, Monica Rambeau instantly captured Yelena's heart. The subtle lines on her face tell a story of strength forged through life's trials. What binds these two together goes beyond words. Yelena and Monica share a profound understanding of each other's pain and trauma, an unspoken connection that weaves their lives together. They both carry the weight of loss, have walked the path of military service, and possess a disciplined nature. Yelena's enigmatic allure and sharp intellect fits in perfect harmony with Monica's indomitable spirit and boundless compassion for others. Yelena, often guarded, finds solace in Monica's unwavering support, while Monica draws strength from Yelena's fierce loyalty. They innately understand each other's pain and trauma, creating an unspoken bond that allows them to build a fulfilling life. Together, they’ve envisioned years overflowing with love and commitment. Yelena and Monica have decided to embrace the long haul, fully invested in creating a future, and ready to weather any storm that comes their way.

Yelena takes a delicate sip of her vodka sour, the liquid tang dancing on her tongue, and she can't help but burst into laughter at the absurdity that came out of her partner’s mouth.

"Nic, you did not say that to a four-star general. I don't believe you."

"He was so stunned he didn't even know how to respond."

"And you still walked away with the case assignment?"

"Absolutely. Once he realized I had him cornered, he had no choice but to give in."

Their laughter fills the air, their connection crackling with energy and warmth. But the moment is interrupted when Yelena's phone buzzes in her pocket, pulling her attention away. She retrieves it, glancing at the urgent text message that flashes across the screen: "Emergency at the Bishop property."

"Sorry," Yelena apologizes, her focus shifting entirely to her phone as she begins to type a response.

“Everything okay?” her girlfriend asks, concern etching her features.

A reply message pops up, and Yelena's skin drains of color. Swiftly, she rises from her seat, retrieves her wallet, and drops a few hundred in cash on the table.

"One of Kate's crazies broke into the house while she was there.”

"Oh my god! Is she okay?"

"I don't know. I need to go handle this."

"Yeah. Yeah, of course," Monica replies, her worry evident.

Leaning in, Yelena gently presses her lips against her girlfriend's, a tender farewell.

"I'll be home as soon as I can."

Monica cups Yelena’s face with her hand and delicately caresses her cheek with her thumb.

"Please be safe."

"Always."

Yelena steals one final kiss before rushing to the door.

---

The flashing red and blue lights of patrol cars cast an eerie glow, reflecting off the sleek facade of the mansion. They pulse with a sense of urgency as a few dozen members of Yelena's security team and police remain scattered around the premises. Yelena arrives quickly enough that they haven't even driven the intruder away yet. Her eyes lock onto the disheveled figure in the back of the patrol car, his face marked with bruises and tears mixing with snot as they stream down his cheeks.

Yelena's steps boom against the driveway's paving bricks with a determined cadence, underscoring the fury simmering within her. She marches purposefully towards the spot where Clint Barton, the man responsible for overseeing the night shifts, engages in conversation with another guard. The sheer intensity radiating from Yelena is palpable, causing the other bodyguard to grimace, excuse himself, and hastily retreat from the impending storm.

"What the hell happened?" Yelena demands, her voice tight with anger.

"I'm not sure. It looks like the guy broke in through the back, near the guest house.”

"What do you mean you're not sure? Check the damn footage."

"Ma'am, that camera has been down for over a week. Records say we put in the repair request, but the techs haven’t come yet.”

An irate growl builds in Yelena's throat.

"So we have a blind spot, and instead of assigning someone to cover it until it's fixed, you simply left it unattended?"

"No, ma'am. Kaplan has been back there for days, but he went on his lunch break."

"And no one replaced him?"

"We're down two men today, so we didn't have the bodies. There's a flu going around. Richards and Lang called out sick."

“Then you call the office and you have them pull from somewhere else! We have guys on call for this specific reason. You don't leave this property or team short. EVER. Am I clear?"

"Yes, ma'am. I did try to..."

Yelena's focus is abruptly shattered as another body collides into hers with unyielding force. Even before she lays eyes on Kate, she catches a whiff of that familiar perfume, stirring unwanted nostalgia and longing inside her. It's been far too long since they've been this close, yet the effect remains undeniable.

Kate clings to Yelena with a desperate grip, seeking comfort and security in her arms. The blonde adjusts her position within Kate’s arms, turning to face the younger woman directly. Their eyes lock. The instant blue and green meet, it’s as if a dam has burst and a torrent of sobs spills from Kate's trembling form, the weight of her emotions breaking through the surface.

"Hey…Hey…You okay?" Yelena's voice is tinged with concern, her gaze searching for answers.

“I heard your voice. Inside. I heard it…You came.” Kate manages to utter between tears, her voice filled with relief and vulnerability.

“Of course I came. Of course.” Kate's grip tightens around Yelena. Yelena responds by enveloping the brunette in her arms, holding her closer with tender strength. "Is Eli on his way?"

Kate's head shakes against Yelena's chest, tears staining the fabric of her shirt.

"He's in Edinburgh. He's on set, shooting the sequel to his stupid alien movie until June.”

Yelena lets out a sigh.

"I'm calling in more bodies, at least until he comes back. You'll be safe."

Kate looks up at Yelena.

"Can you stay?" Kate asks, her voice soft and small. “Please."

Yelena hesitates for a moment while surveying Kate’s distressed face. With a resolute nod, Yelena reaches out and tenderly takes Kate's hand in her own, their fingers involuntarily intertwining as if guided by an invisible force. Neither of them notices the subtle gesture, too consumed by the moment's graveness and the need to protect and be protected.

With their hands entwined, they move forward, stepping across the entryway and into the house's safety.

---

Yelena steps inside the house, her first time crossing its threshold in five long years. Memories of joy, pleasure, and heartache rush back. It looks different now, the decor changed, but familiar elements still evoke a bittersweet sense of nostalgia. The space is both foreign and strangely familiar, leaving Yelena with conflicting emotions. She's somehow trapped in a paradox. She feels a sense of displacement, like a visitor in her own past, yet there’s also an undeniable feeling that she somehow belongs here, even after all this time.

As Kate settles on the couch, her body curled up protectively, Yelena gracefully lowers herself to a squat, positioning herself at eye level with the younger woman. Their eyes meet, and Yelena's concern deepens.

"Are you okay?"

"I turned around and he was...there."

Kate’s voice trembles as she responds. Yelena shakes her head almost imperceptibly, regret and guilt shadowing her expression.

"Kate, I'm so sorry. This should've never happened. It's my fault. I haven't been checking in on your team enough. I dropped the ball. I'm sorry."

"It's not your fault." Kate's response is immediate, her voice filled with conviction as she counters Yelena's self-blame.

"It is. I take full responsibility, and if you decide to find other security options, I completely understand."

A soft sigh escapes Kate's lips, and she reaches out to gently touch Yelena's arm.

"I'm not sure how many times you're going to make me say this, but I’ll say it again…you're the only person I trust with this.” Kate’s words carry a reassuring sincerity that resonates deeply with Yelena.

"A guy just broke into your house under my watch."

"Not yours. Not specifically."

"You know what I mean."

Yelena's attention drifts towards the kitchen, her eyes catching the telltale signs of a panicked struggle. The scene sends a surge of rage coursing through her veins. She clenches her fists, her jaw tightening as she imagines the terrifying encounter that took place in this very spot.

The remnants of a halfway-finished meal sit abandoned on the counter, a stark reminder of the interrupted peace and normalcy that once filled the room. The scattered utensils and overturned chairs bear witness to the chaotic confrontation between Kate and the intruder. Yelena's mind races, trying to piece together the sequence of events that unfolded, her protective instincts sharpening.

"Were you making dinner?” Kate nods. "I'll make you something."

"It's fine. I'm not hungry anymore."

Yelena refuses to accept Kate's dismissal.

"Something small. Tell me what you want. I’ll make it for you."

The faintest of smiles tugs at the corner of Kate's lips, but her refusal remains steadfast.

“Yel, I’m really not hungry."

They both fail to register the intimacy of the nickname Kate used. Yelena looks at Kate with concern, her brow furrowing slightly and leans closer.

"That chicken strawberry salad you like?” Yelena suggests, a knowing smile playing on her lips. “You always have stuff around to make that."

A small chuckle escapes Kate's lips offering momentary respite from the tension that hangs in the air.

"That's what I was making."

Yelena's smirk widens into a playful grin as their eyes lock in a lingering stare.

"You're nothing if not a creature of habit, Kate Bishop. I have to make a call first and then I'll get on it. Okay?"

With a silent nod, Kate accepts Yelena's offer. Yelena rises, her movements purposeful, and takes a step back, turning towards the living room and kitchen meeting point in the open floor plan. She retrieves her phone from her pocket, her fingers moving swiftly to dial a familiar number. Her voice remains steady and focused as she brings the phone to her ear, masking the underlying emotions.

"Hey...yeah. Yeah. Things are fine...mostly. Yeah...No. I'm probably not coming home tonight. I have to...I have to stay...I'm sorry. There's a lot to deal with over here. I'll make it up to you...I know. I love you too. Bye."

When Yelena turns, Kate's energy feels different, almost palpably so. The call catches her off guard and her previously softened demeanor shifts. At that moment, her body tenses up, and her expression becomes guarded. The realization that Yelena has a partner, someone she didn't even know existed, hits Kate like a punch to the gut. It leaves her feeling unsettled, a mixture of surprise, confusion, and maybe even a hint of betrayal.

"I didn't know you were with someone. I don't want to make it awkward or get you in trouble or...I don't know."

Yelena thought she had walked away far enough for Kate not to overhear her, but her voice must have carried more than she anticipated. Yelena's lips subtly curl upwards as her eyes meet Kate’s.

"You're not."

"You can go. I don't want to keep you from...anything."

Yelena shakes her head as she removes her blazer. In a familiar motion, she neatly drapes it over the back of a nearby breakfast stool, a ritual ingrained in their shared history. It's a small, seemingly insignificant moment, yet it carries a weight of familiarity and comfort between them. The sight evokes memories of countless evenings spent together around that same kitchen island, engaged in deep conversations that stretched late into the night. During those quiet moments, their connection blossomed as they shared their dreams, fears, and secrets with one another. The kitchen became a sanctuary, a space where they could be completely forthcoming and vulnerable, finding serenity in each other's presence. The years now seem to fade away, transporting them back to a time when their lives seamlessly merged into one. Despite the circumstances and the distance that has grown between them, it’s evident that old habits die hard for these two.

"She's used to it. You're not the only one of my clients who has a crisis every so often."

"Right."

"And I think I should also say ‘congratulations’." Yelena points at the giant engagement ring on Kate's hand. "That's an impressive rock.”

"I designed it."

"Wouldn't expect anything else."

Kate's gaze drifts downward, fixated on her thighs. After a moment of silence, she finally speaks.

"I guess we both found our people."

It's easier to say this than to admit the weight of the secret that Kate carries. Merely a week ago, Kate called off her engagement with Eli before he left to shoot his latest film project. The ring on her finger remains, a constant reminder of another failed relationship. It’s a symbol of a shattered commitment she's not yet ready to confront. It's easier to keep it on, avoiding the questions and judgment that would follow its removal.

"I guess we did...I'll make you some food."

Kate nods in gratitude, silently thanking Yelena for the familiar tradition of the blonde making food for the younger woman in moments of turmoil. As Yelena skillfully maneuvers around the kitchen, Kate watches her with a hint of admiration. The clatter of utensils, the sizzle of ingredients, and the rhythmic sounds of Yelena’s cooking fill the air, creating a soothing soundtrack that drowns out the worries of the world. This cocoon of domesticity temporarily shields them from the chaos and uncertainty that looms just beyond the door.

#kate x yelena #yelena x kate #kate bishop #yelena belova #bishova #bishlova #kybgau #kybgaup #anonymous #answers

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dismorfofobie · 2 years

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Saint Andrew’s Day is one of most importance for the Romanian People, and for the Christians as well. Saint Andrew is believed to be the first apostle to have spread Christianity in the area that is now Romania, was associated with the spirit of the wolf, worshiped by Romania’s ancestors as the guardians of our people. Therefore many legends with mystic flavor picture the wolves as symbolic characters among this part of the world.

Saint Andrew’s Day marks the beginning of winter and according to popular belief, is the moment in which dark and maleficent forces unleash upon Earth, represented by werewolves and vampires. This night (29th-30th November) is one strongly marked by sacred, supernatural and mystical manifestations, whom bring devastating effects upon the ones who do not strictly obey to popular customs and rituals, reasons for which St. Andrew’s night can be easily assimilated to the more occidental Halloween legend..

In the Romanian traditional culture, spirits of the dead get out of their graves and start fighting themselves on borders, crossroads and other unholy places, using tools stolen from people’s households. This fight lasts till daybreak when the sun purifies earth and all bad spirits go to where they came from. These kinds of creatures and manifestations are bad for all people because they affect the fertility of the land, agricultural cultures, bring diseases and a lot of bad luck. To counter the effects of these unrestful spirits, various rituals are fulfilled, involving salt, poppy, hemp, basil, incense and, of course, a lot of garlic.

According to more ancient beliefs, the spirits of the dead are now allowed to re-enter, just for one night, into the world of the living. As the cosmic order is now profoundly disturbed, other malefic forces might slip through. So, along with wolves and spirits, the vampires and the moroi are also enjoying this moment of chaos, dancing and haunting abandoned houses, tormenting people and animals.

Animals are said to be given the gift of speech but whoever hears their secrets will be cursed. It is also believed that wolves are able to speak like humans in the night of St. Andrew, saying terrifying things. Moreover, those who get bitten by these wolves will turn into werewolves.

However, according to local superstitions, people can keep the evil spirits and ghosts away with the help of garlic. Thus, they put garlic on the windows or doors, or even inside the animal stables.

The miracle properties of garlic are spoken of in almost all rituals and superstitions from the popular Romanian believes. On the night of St. Andrew’s, garlic is used both for the protection of humans and their homes as well as for unwedded women who want to foresee their future husband:

“The guarding of the garlic” is an ancient ritual that takes place at night, where young people party, having in the center of the table a few cloves of garlic surrounded by incense and lit candles. The vase is then guarded by an old woman while the young people dance and eat and enjoy the party until morning. Then, the garlic is shared to all participants and each keeps it all year long in the most sacred place of the house, near the icons, to be used only in time of need as the garlic now is invested with magical and healing properties.

In order to determine the future, unmarried girls knee a ring of dough in the middle of which they put a clove of garlic. This dough is then left for a week in a warm place. If the garlic sprouts, the girl is lucky.

Girls who want to see their future husband, prepare the “Dough of Indrei”, made of water, flour and salt in equal amounts, measured in a nutshell. Girls who ate of this mixture are supposed to dream their future husband. Also, to learn about their marriage, there are often used charms that include mirrors, candles or basil placed under the pillow.

On this holy day, people do not work in the household, they do not swipe nor sew, because St. Andrew’s Day represents the beginning of winter and people want to have fortune throughout the coming year. To find out about the fortune and the fertility of the fields, wheat is sown in a bowl, and if the wheat grows green and beautiful, the year will be wealthy.

Some elders used to observe the sky during St. Andrew’s night while predicting if the upcoming year is poor or wealthy, rainy or dry, and even if it’s peace or war.

The traditional customs related to the night of November 29 to 30 are a blend of Christian religion with old Dacian rituals. Legends all across Romania talk about the last Zalmoxis priest, whom he met Jesus and the Apostle Andrew, people then making the transition to Christianity. Saint Andrew is considered the one who brought Christianity on our land, thus becoming the patron and the protector of Romania.

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roadandruingame · 1 month

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RaR Musings #14: Spheres

As I continue to try to build out my extensive list of possible ability influences in Road and Ruin, certain spheres begin to emerge, which helps to recognize what might need a sub-resource.

In the first place, Road and Ruin operates on associations. Where other games ask that you make up the circumstances, twists, or even whole setting out of whole cloth, the aim, at least, is for Road and Ruin to appeal to each player's personal experience of popular culture, in a part-tarot, part-rorschach test. The pros of this is that mechanics will assist in players getting to experience what they've come to expect of a story from their genre, with some twists along the way, as well as fulfill any genre. The cons, of course, are if people aren't already familiar with a genre, or have any desire to recreate the tropes from one, then they won't be learning about them here except from other players.

Because Road and Ruin operates on associations, there needs to be certain tropes and recognizable themes in play. The sphere of [ANIMALS] might mean a pet dog, birds, or a tiger, or hunting; in fantasy, it might mean speaking to animals, gaining their powers, or transforming into one, or omens, and in sci-fi, it can mean alien creatures. The sphere of [ELEMENTS] means a lot more to a fantasy player than to sci-fi or the unfamiliar, but likewise, [TECHNOLOGY] can be an entire sci-fi story with very little fantasy applications.

The sphere of [COMBAT] having sub-categories, [FIREARMS], [SWORDPLAY], [MARTIAL ARTS], and [TACTICS] mean a wider variety of playstyles for players who are interested in those, but overly fixating on that sphere means an equal drop in features that don't involve combat in some way. But, if non-combat can lean on what's quickly ballooned out to 60+ proficiencies and counting, for a system where skill checks use up to two in combination, then perhaps combat does need the lion's share of "I use this special ability".

Spheres of [CRAFTING] are both unlikely to be widely used, while also extremely popular for a small niche of players who actually like that sort of thing. Such action can mean anything from specific crafting stations, to sourcing and processing high-quality materials, applying techniques, repair and upkeep, having a catalogue, and simply being able to avoid the service costs of having someone else do it, or making sure it's done right the first time. This sphere relies heavily on the 'associations' of people interested in such things already; rather than have unique recipes for everything that ever has, does, or could ever or never exist, we reduce components and projects down to properties. We don't need specific instructions on how to craft rope, just that if we need something long, flexible, and strong, we need something with the [[Strands]] property, of a certain durability. [Twining] as an action involves weaving things together, to increase durability. People can figure it out from there, twining hemp, vines, even the hair of giants or spiderweb to make ropes. It doesn't matter if it's possible or makes sense, all that matters is the players understand how to come to those conclusions.

________________

I run into the issue of cost.

I run into a very tilted problem where another, 'better' game might have universal 'Special Points', that you can use on any ability. Fireball? 1SP. Fist Flurry? 1SP. It'd allow players to pivot from their otherwise heavily-invested build, as well as be only a single resource for new players to learn, but it comes at a price.

Having multiple difference resources helps to keep divisions between spheres in a way that simply learning new abilities doesn't breach, but it also makes it harder to learn. The connective tissue between different kinds of resources is vast and sprawling, such that a player might not understand what their options actually are, but it also indicates visible connections that are easily searchable with CTRL+F. Not having universal points means the existence of a Battery to power electrical devices, without worrying about a packet of SP being sucked up by a monk looking to punch an extra ten times. In fact, those "what if" scenarios give me the benefit of design space, where "what if a monk COULD absorb the energy from a battery? That's something out of 40k or something" actually becomes a fun and unique ability combo.

I feel like I can use the mentality of a universal ability currency, and have conversions between skills, without actually having a universal currency. Such an 'apples to apples' conversion chart is a little unfortunate, because I have to make sure that there isn't a feedback loop where someone can spend 1MP to earn 3SP and 2SP to earn 1MP, but I think that's something I can chart out early and then balance for account.

#indie ttrpg #road and ruin #ttrpg #ttrpg design

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archduchessofnowhere · 1 year

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In terms of rank, Ludovika was above her newly-wed husband, but as far as the size of his fortune was concerned, he was far better off than her entire family. At that time, the ducal collateral line of the Wittelsbach family was much richer than the royal main line, which, to put it bluntly, meant that unlike Ludwig I, Duke Max had the financial means to be a king. He received an annual allowance of 225,000 guilders from the state treasury alone, an enormous amount at the time. The basis for these high payments to a member of the non-ruling Wittelsbach line was a contract that Ludovika's father had concluded with Max's grandfather, Duke Wilhelm, after his appointment as king. In it, the appanage that the land of Bavaria granted to his dynasty was divided and fixed in approximately equal parts between the new royal line and the collateral line of the dukes in Bavaria. The fact that the non-ruling Wittelsbachers were so generously endowed by the new monarch was not least due to the fact that the new royal state of Bavaria had absorbed some of the properties of the collateral line in the course of territorial changes during the Napoleonic period. The annual state appanage to which the Wittelsbach collateral line was entitled alone led over time to a concentration of assets that had not been foreseeable when the contract was concluded. Since the royal line grew steadily in male lineage, while the ducal collateral line often produced only one male representative over generations, the paradoxical situation arose that with a single heir on the side of the Wittelsbach dukes, more and more money accumulated over decades - while in the royal line the state appanage always had to be divided among many descendants. Thus it finally came about that Duke Max had more money at his personal disposal than the reigning monarch. And to this fortune was added a rich inheritance, which Max inherited after the death of his French-born mother. For Duchess Amalie Luise von Arenberg had brought extensive estates in France and a palace in Paris, in a prime location, into the marriage with Max's father.

The latter's fortune therefore far exceeded that of Ludovika. However, this did not mean that she, for her part, was not a rich bride. She also had considerable financial means. When she was fourteen years old, her father had invested the then gigantic sum of almost two and a half million guilders for the benefit of his wife and their daughters. From the interest alone, each of them received 25,000 florins annually. On her marriage, Ludovika also received a dowry of 100,000 florins, which became part of the assets of the ducal house. Later, Tegernsee Castle and Biederstein Castle were inherited by Ludovika and became part of the ducal line.

Winkelhofer, Martina (2021). Sisis Weg: Vom Mädchen zur Frau – Kaiserin Elisabeths erste Jahre am Wiener Hof (Translation done by DeepL. Please keep in mind that in a machine translation a lot of nuance may/will be lost)

#more on how elisabeth's parents were loaded #maximilian joseph duke in bavaria #ludovika of bavaria duchess in bavaria #house of wittelsbach #Sisis Weg: Vom Mädchen zur Frau – Kaiserin Elisabeths erste Jahre am Wiener Hof #historian: martina winkelhofer

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naymaasblog · 5 months

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The history of redlining

Leading social change:

Blog #2

By: Naymaa Ahmed

A discriminatory practice known as "redlining" first appeared in the US in the early 20th century, and Portland, Oregon, was one of its locations. Based on the racial or cultural makeup of a community, it refers to the systematic denial of financial services including loans, insurance, and investment opportunities. Due to the designation of some regions as "high-risk" or "undesirable" for financing, this practice disproportionately impacted African American communities and restricted their access to housing and other financial resources. locations such as Vanport, Oregon. Determining what is and is not within the purview of this research is essential for a better understanding of the issue. In this case, the research's primary focus would be on the background of redlining in Portland, including its inception, application, and impacted communities. It would also cover the current redlining-related socioeconomic gaps as well as any ongoing initiatives to alleviate these problems. draw attention to the long-term effects of redlining, including the aggravation of racial segregation in the city, wealth inequality, and the continuation of poverty throughout generations. Highlighting the interdependence of these matters can facilitate a more comprehensive comprehension of the extensive consequences of redlining on the impacted neighborhoods and Portland's general socioeconomic structure. As we go on to Redlings, the Federal Housing Administration provided veterans with mortgage loans, enabling millions of families to buy homes. Unfortunately, these loans did not help the black community because the criteria used to determine who would receive home loans were overtly racist, making it hard for people of color to buy a home even in times of prosperity. segregating everyone and assigning each applicant a color based on where their property is located. Albina and downtown Portland are redlined. Where, by coincidence, there are the most Black residents(Gross,2020). Due to all of the unconstitutional bills and decisions that were passed at that time. Today, it has a significant impact on the black community. Resulting in a 32% difference between White and Black Portlanders who own homes. All of this is the outcome of 150 years of redlining, mismanagement, and unabashed prejudice. Starting with the flood that destroyed Vanport as a city. Forcing tens of thousands of people to leave their homes and move into a neighborhood where it was obvious they were not wanted. All of this was the start & result of how racism was built into our housing systems in the 1940s.Redlining in Portland is a problem with roots in social inequality and systematic racism, which is one reason it matters. In addition to being morally reprehensible, discrimination based on race subverts the ideals of justice and equality that our society ought to uphold. Our concern for this issue reflects our recognition of the need to right historical wrongs and build a society that is more just and inclusive. What leads us to believe that Portland is now socially fair if it wasn't before? How can you be certain that these maps and bills aren't concealed somewhere in your city?

Sauer, Taryn. “Race and Housing Part III: Under the Guise of Renewal.” Habitat Portland Region, 31 Aug. 2020, https://habitatportlandregion.org/race-and-housing-part-iii-under-the-guise-of-renewal/

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brostateexam · 2 years

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location location location

I have been looking at houses in the East Bay for the last two and a half weeks and I think I am at the point where I need to write some stuff out.

I have pre-approval for a staggering amount of money ($600k), and I have an equally staggering amount of money that can be used on things like moving costs, repairs, and a down payment ($110k). Per my budget that I threw together, I need to end up with a mortgage that is under $500k to make this something other than very precarious. I tend to catastrophize when I budget, but even given all that, I think having ~$500/month for all unplanned living expenses, going out to eat, going shopping, vacation, car trouble, etc would be Concerning and that was about the level I ended up with if the mortgage ends up being $550k.

After looking at property for the last little while, here's what I've concluded:

It's folly to treat a house as wholly a home or wholly an asset. It has to be both. For this reason, I've passed on bidding on some houses that I love but that are poor investments (money pits), and on some places that will likely become more valuable over time but that are just not right for me. It has to be both home you love and a place where the money you put into it will see some return, especially since I have no intention of living in a house in the East Bay for the rest of my life.

There are no perfect houses. It doesn't matter what kind of money you have. Every place comes with disclosures, weird neighbors, odd features, bone-headed additions, or mystifying decorating taste of the prior occupants.

The market is crazy but cooling down. Every day, I see price reductions come across Redfin because inventory is just not moving the way it was two to four years ago.

In terms of what's vexing me at the moment: I have two expiring opportunities to bid on condos. One is a townhouse style condo in Hayward and it's a great price for what it is -- probably the only time I will be able to say that about any property I have looked at here in the Bay. The other is an apartment-style condo in an older building in Adam's Point. This is a great opportunity because my mom knows the person selling it and he just wants to sell it at-cost and not pay double mortgage, because he's already moved into his new place.

The issue with condos, though, is from both a home perspective and an asset perspective, I'm not sure they are for me. I've never really wanted to live in an apartment building. I have friends who do or have, and they just don't appeal to me all that much, even though they provide a lot of convenience. I prefer living in a house or a part of a house. From an asset perspective, it's simpler: condos do not accrue that much value, so if I were to move to a condo and I wanted its value to increase, I'd probably have to wait quite some time. Of course, I would be gaining equity while I waited, and that is, you know, bankable, in a way that rent is not, which is not a bad consolation prize. But it is a consolation prize.

Leaving aside the condos, I saw four properties today that I am interested in, but I'm not sure I can put in a competitive offer on any of them. This is just so confusing. I wish I could talk to someone about it who didn't have a vested interest in me doing one thing or another.

#a house of one's own

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