#eric cartman south park

[victimized-martyr]

Shoving my married Kyman down y’all’s throats rn

[kenny-the-ken]

Let the Bodies Hit the Floor

All characters mentioned are aged up, they're all 18/19. Mentions of drugs, alcohol, sexual content, strong language and a lot of angst!!

Kenny's day started off similar to most, and a lot earlier than you might think. Kenny may need rest, but Mysterion doesn't. Everyone knew who he was, and what he did to those that deserved it.

But during his quieter hours of the night he'd always stop by two particular people. The first being the most obvious was his sister Karen, she needed him and by god was he going to help her.

The second was the one he kept strictly to himself, just for his own piece of mind was y/n, his girlfriend of four years, she was one of the few to know his true identity, the only person on this damned planet that could remember his deaths, and the only one who truly held his heart, and in return he held yours and wether it was in life or in momentary death, he was going to do whatever it took to protect you.

He would always check by your house, and climb up to your bedroom window, just to check that your were okay, and to still be close to you.

But tonight was different than most, you had gone out for a girl's night with Wendy, Bebe and Red, he had to know you were okay, especially when going home.

The night air was cold as you were leaving the nightclub, the four of you had drank way more than you thought you had and were stumbling a little bit upon exit.

You all laughed together, and trying to wave down a cab outside the club, it was 2am and everyone had found a cab, but not you. You were alone when you started making the short walk home, and Mysterion was on high alert. That was when he heard it, an approaching group of men, rough, rowdy and extremely drunk, he became even more worried for your safety.

They approached you and made a few rather suggestive comments, which Mysterion did not like one bit and upon hearing them say that they'd like to take you to their place he began his decent from the roof of the above building.

He dropped onto his feet in front of you, and gave you a quick wink before standing to face the four men that stood in front of him.

"Talk to my girl like that one more time, I fuckin' dare you!" He said calmly, staring his four contenders in their eyes.

"Oh yeah? And what are you gonna do about it question mark?" One of them said, the other three snickering and before any of them could react, Kenny had already gripped the man by the head and brought it down hard against his knee as he kicked him.

The crack of his nose and the blood that poured from it was something you'd never get out of your head ever again. The other three ran quickly the fourth bleeding one being slower to run while clutching his nose with both hands trying desperately to get the blood to stop.

Kenny then turned to you, a small smirk on his face. "Next time you can't get a cab, call me up. I got saved up to get a phone for a reason." He said, a smile on his face.

"But seriously, are you okay?" He questioned, his gaze softening towards you. "Yeah, I'm okay." You said, smiling back towards your boyfriend. "Thank you, Mysterion." You said with a wink.

"Come on, I'll take you home. It's not safe out here at this time, especially when you're looking this gorgeous." He smirked, taking your hand within his.

"You fancy staying over tonight? Or have you to get back to saving the streets?" You teased, slurring your last few words due to you being drunk.

"I think I could take one night off, Karen's at a friends house." Kenny replied. "So, you wanna fuck me when I'm dressed like this or?" He flirted, taking his hand from yours and instead putting his arm around your waist.

"I always knew that one day you were gonna ask me that question."

"So... more importantly, is it a yes?" He pressed further, a full smirk on his lips.

"Yeah, you look pretty hot. I mean, you always look hot, and it's nice seeing your whole face, babe. You really are so pretty." You rambled, making Kenny go from cocky to a blushing mess within seconds.

"I- I'm not pretty, I'm a guy." He argued, waving his hands as he spoke.

"Tell that to Princess Kenny, I think she would definitely say otherwise." You teased back.

"You know what, let's just get you home and I'll show what I think pretty is." He said, as you laughed at his reaction.

"And what is pretty to you, Mysterion?" You pressed on. "Your face when I make you cum round my cock." He whispered into your ear as your cheeks began to burn a deep maroon.

"K-Kenny!" You slap him on the arm, laughing a little.

"I don't know this Kenny you speak of, I'm Mysterion." He said, joking with you as you finally made it to your front door, unlocking it and opening it up. "Well, come on Mysterion. Upstairs. Now." You pointed and Kenny was glad to oblige. He only ever aimed to please.

"I think from this point forward, I'll be making the rules, is that clear, princess?" He replied, backing you up against the living room wall.

"Yes, Mysterion." You said, receiving a sharp spank on your ass cheek.

"I think you'll find its, yes sir." Kenny said, the cockiness dripping from him.

"Yes, sir." You replied, before Kenny's glove clad hand slid his hand under your chin, tipping your face up to kiss you.

"I'll give you 30 seconds to get up those stairs and into that bedroom and then I'm coming for you." He growled, his voice husky.

"Yes, sir." You replied, beginning to go upstairs as you heard Kenny reply to you.

"Good girl." He winked, following right behind you as quickly as he possibly could, the pair of you giggling on your way.

A long night lay ahead for Mysterion, but it wasn't like he lacked stamina, especially when it came to you.

[thevestigeofvanillaan]

oh my gosh i luv ur stan hatefucking post 😭😭 i felt butterflies ITS SO GOOD

no bc hear me out i feel like cartman would totally do that... IMAGINE HE WOULD TOTALLY SNEAK IN CAUSE THE READERS PARENT HATE HIM

i love the idea u made and im asking if you could do it but with eric? :D if ya want to of coursee!!

- 🏩 anon :3

hi cutie!! thank you sm im really happy you enjoyed it :] !!!

cartman 10,000% would have to sneak in because he was such an asshole and your parents hate him.

like at midnight, here's eric cartman throwing rocks at your window. you'd open it and he'd accidentally hit you with a rock before laughing hysterically and climbing up.

"you're gonna wake up my dad, he'd kill you if he found you here." you roll your eyes and rub where the rock had hit you.

"your fault you talk so much shit on me to them"

"it's actually your fault you're such an asshole.." you mutter.

"'ey! what'd you say?" eric shouts and you smack his shoulder softly, shushing him loudly. "shut up!" you whisper shout. "why're you here?"

eric laughs, "i wouldn't be here for any reason other than to get my dick wet."

scoffing and rolling your eyes you lay down on your stomach, loudly sighing before he smacks your ass "ow, asshole!" you wince and he laughs.

too lazy and too tired to get up, you lie there and let eric strip you of your clothing. he kisses your back and whispers degrading comments at you.

eric brings his hand to your hips, pulling them up to leave you chest down and ass up in the air where he'd bring his hands to your wet cunt, teasing it before sliding his middle and ring fingers in, scissoring his way inside you. this pulls sweet moans from your mouth.

"shshsh, quiet slut." eric whispers out to you in a soft chuckle. but you couldn't help yourself. "such a loud little bitch, huh? yeah? need me to cover your mouth, huh? yeah?" he taunts in a baby voice with little nods as he slides his fingers out of you.

soon that hand is brought to your face where he pulls your head up by your jaw and eric shoves the two fingers that were just in your cunt into your mouth, soon sliding his cock into you.

the moans you attempted to let out were muffled by eric's fingers as his cock moves in and out of you, accelerating to a faster pace each thrust.

his other hand smacks your ass not too hard so it doesn't wake your parents, if they hadn't already awaken by the loud screeching of the bed.

the both of you were bound to get caught, just bound. and if you were, you feared not only cartman would be dead, but you would be too.

you'd known just how much your parents hated cartman, rightfully so. he was a jerk who'd bullied you your entire life ever since you were five years old.

"you're so stupid!" he'd laugh every time you'd get a question in class wrong. "slut!" he'd yell every time he'd seen you with a boyfriend. no matter what you did, eric was yelling or laughing at you for it.

you told your parents about everything he'd done, they also saw it. they hated him, so much.

it was fairly recently when you'd added a sexual aspect to your hateful relationship. ever since its gotten better with cartman, but not with your parents..

they still hated him, and that likely wouldn't stop.

"fu-ck–!" cartman groans quietly. "gonna cum.. cum with me precious."

when he said that you felt yourself growing closer to the edge. "cum with me, cum with me," he continued to repeat himself over and over again, every time he said it he thrusted harder.

and there that knot came undone and you came, feeling that warm liquid fill you up from cartman.

he'd lay beside you on his back, breathe heavily and softly chuckling. "can i stay the night, it's dark out."

"i guess so." you smile as he wraps his arms around you. "just be gone by morning."

[lbcreations-blog]

Nobody can stop me from saying if Mammon was ever a child, he would be the equivalent of Eric Cartman.

They are the same person

[h-harleybaby]

No no you’re not listening to me why does no one talk about Cartmans bus pass???

It’s officially licensed merch and it says his hair is curly so why are we not talking about curly hair Cartman? Cupid Cartman (or ‘Cupid Me’) has curly hair and that’s just Cartman in a Cupid form if you will. I mean you could always say “yeah well Cupid has always had curly hair” but shut up I’m talking!!! We only see Cupid Cartman with a hat on during Cupid Ye and that’s presumably the only time he ever wears one, let alone clothes, SO HIS HAIR IS JUST HOW IT IS ALL NATURAL OR WHATEVER!! The way I’m taking it is that Cartman and his Cupid counterpart have curly hair and it’s not just because Cupid usually has curly hair. I now present you an hc, Cartmans hair kinda looks straight like how Stan’s does because he literally always has his hat on. His hair isn’t incredibly curly like Kyles but it’s curly god damn it!!!! It’s just always flattened or a lil greasy like Stans probably is. Poor Stan, his hair is practically stuck to his forehead with how greasy it is 😭😭

“Harley what are we even talking about?” I hear you ask, AND THE ANSWER IS I DUNNO BUT WHAT I DO KNOW IS CARTMANS HAIR IS AT LEAST SOMEWHAT CURLY AND THATS ALL I GOTTA SAY

[kermzee]

Awesom-o!

[rakudetama]

one of my fav episodes tbh

[xyoguix]

ᰔ | ᴇ ʀ ɪ ᴄ ᴄ ᴀ ʀ ᴛ ᴍ ᴀ ɴ ɪ ᴄ ᴏ ɴ s

[dogbrainedd]

sp au posting AGAIN follow @/returnofthedeadsouthpark on instagram for more BANGER art!!!!!!!!!

[broflovski-brah]

KAAAAHL

reblogs >>>>> likes

[ms-picklestillsome]

This was literally so fun to draw i love south park

[onyximp]

One of my favorite episodes now (❁´◡`❁)

[thevestigeofvanillaan]

Can't stop thinking about cartman overstimming his cute lil gf and licking away her tears 🤭

wooooo😮‍💨. creaming to this thought currently.

ugh.

"pretty baby," he'd laugh and lean down to your face, kissing your pretty soaking wet red cheeks before gliding his tongue against your skin.

"can't take it no more.." you moan out to him, gripping at his biceps at your what feels like hundredth orgasm.

"i know i know.. but you're just so pretty when you cry for me."

he lives and breathes for the taste of your tears. the way your wet cheeks look😩.

[that-damn-fouth-chaosemerald]

Hi, if you still take requests I have an idea.

Cartman x Reader. Basically he becomes obsessed with reader, and kidnaps them so he can keep them all to himself.

I know it's stupid, but I just thought it was interesting, and in character.

You don't have to do this one if you don't want to. Also sorry if the idea seems creepy or disturbing.

Thanks for reading if you did! :)

See my masterlist here!

—❢—

×A/N×

Sorry for the long wait-

I wrote headcanons, because you didn't say anything about the type-

And my best and fastest writing work is usally headcanons so- lol

I hope you don't mind it! :")

×❢ About my work ❢×

no fluff, kidnapping, stalking, unhealthy relationship, petnames, no one dies, jealous Cartman, mention of self harm

Type: Headcanons

Fandom: South Park

Ship(s): only Cartman x reader

Character(s): Eric Cartman, You/The Reader/Y/N, Butters Scotch (mentioned), Kyle Broflovski (mentioned)

—❢—

(𝐘𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐫𝐞?) 𝐄𝐫𝐢𝐜 𝐂𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐦𝐚𝐧 𝐱 𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫

(The picture is not mine!)

𝑺𝒐𝒏𝒈: Notice Me Senpai by iHasCupquake

“Senpai, I saw you at school today

Took your picture then I snuck away

I want you to notice me

but I'm just someone you don't notice still

I think I've got a rival I have to kill”

• he wasn't that kind of a person who falls people hard

• but you

• oh my gosh when he noticed your beautiful smile

• he felt as his heart missed a beat

• something got him

• damn, you were so beautiful

• too beautiful for the others...

• he gets jealous everytime when somebody speaks to you

• he will totally give a death stare or something like that

• (oh my gosh, poor Kyle and Butters)

• (and ofc the others)

• he will threat the person who talked to you

• he doesn't fear of they will tell you and you will think that he is a weirdo and etc.

• he doesn't fear of this, because he knows that they won't say anything – or even talk with you

• because he said so

• he will hurt you just to make sure that his plans go well

• he won't be scared to follow you

• when he can't hold himself any longer

• he will kidnap you

• he will definitely keep you in the basement

• just you and him.

• it's perfect.

• "You are so beautiful, Darling."

• he won't torture you

• he let you to take a bath, use the restroom, bring to you the meal and make for you a comfy bed

• he even makes or brings you your favourite food, drink, dessert, etc.

• he hates just one thing

• when you speak

• ofc, he will need the "yes, sir" answer when he asks "do you understand me?" or something like that

• but otherwise a "hm" will be enough for him

• will ask for kisses

• and will give you plushies for sleeping

• you have to ask permission before you do something

• "No, I didn't lock you. I just keep you safe, hon"

• he won't let you to harm yourself

• "Aww, don't do that, Honey." he looked at the scars that you made for yourself with the rope, after that he got you some medication.

• he won't let you go to go outside

• and if you try to escape

• oh my gosh, just don't.

• "Don't test me, dear." he said with a cold smile on his face as he squeezed your wrist threateningly.

[h-harleybaby]

Ok no wait ok ok ok so like

Cartman is a truck guy, but he knows absolutely nothing about cars or trucks or anything. Kenny also likes trucks but he actually knows stuff and the only truck he’d have up until late college is the beat up rusted green one he saw for sale at a gas station. Jimmy is a car guy we’ve established this whatever whatever we love Jimmy

NOW!!!! Cartman knows nothing about trucks and he calls it his ‘baby’ and pats the dashboard allllll the time. From my understanding South Park is kind of a mountain town, so whenever roads get a sometimes he slaps the dashboard and treats that poor truck a lot like that toilet in ‘the cissy’. No I will not be elaborating on this, case closed

It’s probs lifted and has nice seats, it’s really nice if you ignore ALL THE FUCKING TACO BELL BAGS HE THROWS IN THE BACKSEAT!!! Anyways so back on how it’s lifted, he can barely get in because short Cartman supremacy but he refuses to acknowledge it as a problem and just says it’s tall but he’s ‘taller’ and ‘ripped’ so it’s not a big deal

Or not I’m probs wrong about this

[rr-sheep]

He would be too much of an anal wipe to be a good let's player

South Park (Mc.paint) Eric Cartman