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boowanie · 3 years

Text

Pairing: Wonwoo x Reader

Genre: Fluff and angst (!!)

Word count: 7.3k+

Warning(s): Grief, mention of illness, major character death. This one is sad my beans.

Eri’s note 💌: I would love love to hear your feedback on this piece beans 🥺 I hope you all enjoy it!

Summary: You were beautiful and everything Wonwoo deserved but sadly, seasons come and go and so did you.

A wave of nostalgia fills the air when his eyes land on a picture he buried amongst his belongings a couple of years ago. It was a simple picture of you by his side, his smile as big as ever and yours matched his in the sweltering heat of Jeju island. It was a picture taken by a mutual friend who he hasn’t been in contact with in awhile. Despite the years that have passed, a twinge of sadness still pokes at his heart whenever he thinks of you — someone he loved so deeply and someone who loved him as best as they could.

He sighs for the nth time and collects the rest of the pictures he hid in a box so that he could shine a little light on the memories he had left of you and your smile he thought of the most. Mingyu stills by the door as he watches his friend swipe a thumb across a picture of you, his heart aching as much as Wonwoo’s whenever memories of your laughter plays in his mind.

You were beautiful and sweet, someone who was perfect for Wonwoo but life was never going to be that easy. Of course it wasn’t.

“Woo, where do you want me to put this,” Mingyu interrupts, holding up a box of kitchen supplies. Wonwoo places your pictures down on a pile of clothes, some belonging to you, and directs him to the kitchen where a line of boxes stood, waiting to be organised and unpacked.

“Here should be good,” Wonwoo points to an empty spot near the kitchen sink. He leans against the kitchen counter and watches his friend slowly unpack his belongings out of the box. He is truly grateful to have someone like Mingyu. Someone who never urged him to talk about you, knowing how hard it was to cope with losing someone he spent his youth with. Wonwoo sighs again before leaving Mingyu to organise his things.

He returns to the living room and his eyes gazes down at the pictures he left. He takes them in his hands again and for the last time, he brushes his fingers gently across your face and sighs again. “I miss you,” he whispers, bringing the picture to his lips and pecking it softly. Wonwoo walks over to his bedroom and takes out an empty picture frame that was gifted to him by his mother. He places the picture inside and displays it on his nightstand. Wonwoo takes a step back and admires the picture before helping Mingyu unpack the rest of things.

It’s nearing midnight when Mingyu takes his leave. He bids his older friend goodbye and tells him to call him if he needs anything. Wonwoo proceeds to clean up after he leaves, hoping to unpack more things before he calls it a night. But after washing up the dishes they used, Wonwoo’s body slumps forward in exhaustion. He tries to stifle a yawn but as minutes pass by, his body leans to the side and he finally closes his eyes.

That night he dreams of you. The memories he keeps in his heart slowly consumes his dreams as he sees you smiling from afar.

—

Four years ago.

Seungkwan screams in your ear as soon as you step into the house. He catches the attention of the other guys who are also residing in the house. You cover his mouth with your hand and apologise to his housemates. The older guys simply wave you off and welcome you into their house. Seungkwan has a tight hold on you as the guys begin to introduce themselves. You have no idea how you were going to remember their names but you’ll ask Seungkwan to help you later on.

The last person who introduces himself catches your attention. He seems familiar but you brush it off when he gives you a small wave. Seungkwan catches the way your eyes linger on Wonwoo before you put your attention back to your best friend. He wiggles his eyebrows at you, causing your face to heat up in embarrassment.

“We’ll be studying upstairs if you guys need anything,” Seungkwan informs them before dragging you up the stairs in a hurry. When he opens his door, your eyes land on two beds and a large study table you presume he shares with his roommate. Some pictures were stuck on the walls, you noted and a fancy gaming setup was placed on one side of the large study desk.

“That’s Wonwoo’s. Please don’t go anywhere near it unless you have a death wish. The last time I tried to open it for fun, he nearly bit my head off,” Seungkwan announces.

“However, you can use his chair. I doubt he’s gonna come up here to study today,” he pulls over Wonwoo’s gaming chair and places it by your side. You hesitantly take a seat, careful not to do anything to his precious gaming chair. Next, you pull out your books and laptop out of your bag and place them on the study desk next to Seungkwan’s belongings. You both decided to study organic chemistry together. The thoughts of your precious benzene rings and curly arrows were beginning to make you tear up at the mere sight of it.

“Do you have any idea what Professor Lee did today?”

“Nope,” you groan and smack your head with your book. You had no idea why your professor was being the most difficult man when it came to teaching organic chemistry but it was also both your faults for choosing to study science (despite the multiple warnings Seungkwan’s older sister gave you and him).

“How about we ask Wonwoo?” Seungkwan suddenly rises on his feet as if he won the lottery. He proceeds to thump his head with his hand as if he were calling himself dumb.

“How could I forget about Wonwoo?!” he groans out.

“What about him?” you curiously ask, opening your notebook that is filled with structures that haunt you even in your sleep.

“He told me he took this class last year,” he informs you. So he was a year older, you thought. Seungkwan leaves to grab Wonwoo downstairs and you are left nibbling on the top of your pen in stress. After a couple of minutes of waiting, Seungkwan comes back with Wonwoo trailing behind him. His eyes zero in on you sitting on his gaming chair and you instantly squirm under his gaze. He’s surely not going to bite your head off is he? You stand up just in case and you push the gaming chair back to where it was originally placed. He furrowed his eyebrows in confusion and pushed his gaming chair back to you.

“Whatever this one said, just know he’s overreacting,” Wonwoo points at Seungkwan and shakes his head. You shyly sit back on his chair and he stands by your side since you were the only one with your book opened.

“Ah I know this one,” Wonwoo points at a mechanism you and Seungkwan are currently trying to comprehend. He gestures for your pen and notebook and you hand it to him. Your heartbeat quickens slightly when he leans down to write something in your notebook. He jots down some information on all the structures and curly arrows he draws on your paper and hands them back to you.

“See this one lost water that’s why this is the end product,” he points out. You read the other notes he left in your notebook and you begin to understand the mechanism bit by bit. Seungkwan who is sitting to your right nods along in agreement as he copies down what Wonwoo wrote. He lets out a grateful sound that makes you and Wonwoo look at each other before giggling at your best friend.

“As expected, Wonwoo is the best at everything,” Seungkwan says before nudging your leg with his. Wonwoo catches this and he slowly smiles to himself.

“I’ll be over here if you guys need to ask more questions,” he gestures towards his gaming set up and you instantly feel bad when he grabs another chair from Mingyu’s room.

“You can have this back,” you suddenly tell him when Seungkwan takes a small break to make you and him a small snack in the kitchen. You start to stand up but Wonwoo shakes his head in disagreement.

“No, keep it there. It’ll be easier for your back.”

You wanted nothing more than to combust like the reaction you did in the lab with Seungkwan earlier on.

And that was the first day a small seed of feelings planted its way into Wonwoo’s heart.

—

You encounter the 6ft something man again during a late night in the library where he works at. The cold wind passing through the window near your table was starting to irritate you as each second passed by. But due to your lack of height and shyness to ask the other person near your desk to close it, you chose to endure the cold and tightened your jacket around yourself instead.

Wonwoo is returning the books some students handed to him earlier on when he spots your figure shivering near the large windows of the campus library. He looks around for any sign of Seungkwan and when you continue to rub your arms, he drops the books back on the trolley and makes his way towards you. You don’t notice him when he shuts the window with ease but he does make his presence known when he shrugs off his jumper and hands it to you. You pull out your headphones and tilt your head in confusion.

Wonwoo’s eyes widens when he realises that you may have forgotten who he was.

“It’s Wonwoo, Seungkwan’s roommate,” he quickly says. You giggle in response and nod your head.

“I remember you,” you reassure him. You hold up his jumper and hand it back to him but before you could even stretch out your arm, he pushes the jumper back towards you.

“You’re freezing,” he simply states. This back and forth continues until a student nearby sighs in frustration.

“We get it, you’re both in love with each other so please just take his jumper and be quiet,” the student rolls his eyes before slotting back his headphones over his ears. You and Wonwoo’s eyes widen at his words. You whisper a thank you in his direction before he waves you goodbye.

Seungkwan arrives an hour later and his eyes land on Wonwoo’s jumper that you are wearing underneath your jacket.

“Why are you wearing Wonwoo’s jumper,” he whispers underneath his breath. You rip out a small piece of paper from your notebook and jot down “he offered it to me” in small writing. Seungkwan smirks at you before handing you back the piece of paper.

“I’m surprised he offered you his jumper considering that man can’t stand the cold.”

Your cheeks heat up as you read the words.

Why did he offer you his jumper?

—

“Come on please!” Seungkwan and Dino stand in front of you as they begin to beg you to attend their party. The two barged into your apartment not too long ago with an outfit in hand which you were certain belonged to Jeonghan’s girlfriend. They both rummaged through your closet the night before and without giving it much thought you let them not knowing they were going to ask you to attend their party the following day. You pick up another sushi with your fingers and shove it into your mouth before replying to the boys.

“You both know I don’t do parties,” you casually say, picking up another sushi. The boys watch as you devour another piece before Dino steps forward and grabs the rest of your sushi from the table. You begin to protest but Seungkwan drags you, screaming and all, into your bedroom where the dress lies neatly on your bed.

“Come on yn! How is your love story with Wonwoo gonna progress if you don’t show him what he’s missing out on!”

“First of all, there’s no love story and second, why can’t I just have a peaceful night in with my sushi and dramas,” you flop back on your bed right beside the dress that you decide is the prettiest clothing you’ve ever laid your eyes on. Thanks to Jeonghan’s girlfriend who was in on the plan of getting you to come to the party.

“Okay fine. But please come? You barely have any fun unless you’re around us,” Seungkwan flops down beside you and Dino enters your bedroom, munching on your sushi.

“He’s right,” he points out with his chopstick. He swallows his food before running towards you and Seungkwan at full speed. It isn’t long until the younger boy flops his body on top of you and Seungkwan. You groan in pain and push his body off yours. You stand in front of them again and decide to give in to their requests.

The two high five each other before nudging you towards your bathroom.

“Wonwoo is gonna be so happy.”

“No he’s not,” you yell out.

Maybe they were right, maybe Wonwoo is happy to see you because as soon as you stepped into their shared house, he beams at the sight of you which earns a teasing smirk from Dino. He leans close to you and teases you with another “I told you so” before going into the kitchen to grab you a drink.

Wonwoo waves at you slowly and the girl beside him suddenly throws a deathly glare in your direction. He excuses himself and walks over to where you are currently standing. He leans down to give you a small hug and you catch a whiff of his cologne that you grew to like after spending hours and hours with him at the library from time to time. He leans down again to talk to you. The music that Soonyoung and Seungcheol are playing drowns out the words he says into your ear which causes you to lean against him further to hear him better.

“I said I’m surprised dumb and dumber managed to pull you out of your apartment,” his breath slightly tickles your ear and you swear you’ve never been this close to him. You smile at him before tiptoeing to talk to him. You balance yourself by placing your hand on his shoulder and he does the unexpected and places his hand on your waist.

“Dumb and dumber threatened they’d ransack my apartment if I don’t go out,” you giggle in his ear. Seungkwan and Dino watch your interaction with Wonwoo with fond smiles adorning their faces.

“They grow up so fast,” Mingyu states behind them, wiping a fake tear underneath his eye. The three of them laugh before they join their friends who are playing the hongsam game. The level of noise emitting from the kitchen catches your attention and you lean away from Wonwoo to watch the rest of the boys. You laugh when Dokyeom mixes up his own name and Wonwoo watches you with a grin on his face.

He taps your shoulder and offers you his hand. You shyly take his hand in yours before he leads you into the kitchen to play with the boys.

And for the rest of the night, Wonwoo’s hand never leaves yours.

—

The days pass by in a blur. The chilly autumn weather is soon replaced by winter and you wanted nothing more than for summer to come. The last slide Professor Lee presents nearly has you and Seungkwan falling off your chairs in boredom. Your hands are still drawing the structures he was presenting but your mind wanders off to a certain guy who hasn’t left your mind for quite some time. You pass by him on campus from time to time and you get to hang out with him whenever you visit Seungkwan in their shared house. The boys love having you around - some liked to baby you like a little sibling while the rest enjoyed your company. Whenever you aren’t around, the boys teased Wonwoo to the point where he became immune to their teasing.

Once Professor Lee dismisses the class, you and Seungkwan pack your things and hurriedly exit the lecture hall to catch up with your friends who are on their way back to the house. Seungcheol and Jeonghan offered to drive some of you home but they explicitly said “first come, first serve” which is why you and Seungkwan are currently running to the parking lot. You pass by some of your own friends who only chuckle as they watch you and Seungkwan rush down the hallways. You both round another corner and unfortunately for you, you collide with someone as you did. Due to shock, the person grabs your hand and you end up toppling over the person.

You wait for your bodies to hit the floor but only the person’s body clashes with the floor.

“I’m so so so sorry,” you quickly open your eyes and much to your surprise, Wonwoo is laying underneath you in pain. You hurriedly move yourself off him and apologise profusely. He gives you a lopsided smile but he suddenly winces in pain when you touch his shoulder to help him get up. He winces again when he tries to rotate his shoulder and you wanted nothing more than for the ground to swallow you up.

“Woo are you okay?”

“Never been better,” he says through clenched teeth. He tries to hide the pain from you when he waves you off but you hold his hand and guide him to the nurse’s clinic that is situated just a couple of rooms away from where you and him collided. You quickly fish out your phone from your pocket and send a text to Seungkwan about what happened. You tighten your hand around Wonwoo’s when you hear him groan in pain again.

When you arrive at the nurse’s clinic, Wonwoo urges you to stay by his side and you faintly remember Seungkwan telling you about Wonwoo’s fear of nurses and doctors - something to do with a family member passing away. You stay by his side even when the nurse begins to examine his shoulder. Thankfully, his shoulder isn't broken but the nurse advises him to keep it easy for a couple of days.

Once you step out of the clinic, you grab his bag and place it in front of you as your own is dangling on your back. Wonwoo tries to get his bag back but with a deathly stare and a scolding from you, he purses his lips and grabs your hand instead. You walk back to their house hand in hand and the silence of the winter air consumes you both. You found it weird but also comforting how easily his hand seems to fit in yours. The fact that you are both holding hands without much thought suddenly makes your stomach flip.

After arriving at the boys’ house and Seungcheol’s lengthy scolding about running and watching where you were going, you help Wonwoo go to his room. The rest of the boys decided to stay downstairs to play another round of mario kart. You place Wonwoo’s bag on his bed and when you turn around to ask if he needs any help with anything, your eyes land on Wonwoo struggling to take his jacket off.

You make your way towards him and without much thought, you replace his hands with yours and slowly unbutton his jacket with your fingers. His breath hitched in his throat and you could feel him slowly breathe down on you. When you remove the last button, you gently place your hands on his chest and peer up at him.

“Thanks,” he whispers, his lips hovering dangerously close to your lips. Wonwoo momentarily closes his eyes and you mimic his actions. Little by little your lips touch gently against each other. His lips are chapped from the cold you note as you thread your fingers through his locks, tugging him a little closer to you. He snakes his arms around your waist and pulls you into his warmth. You have no idea how long you stood kissing Jeon Wonwoo, but you were certain you didn’t want it to end.

The little seed of feelings that planted in his heart seemed to grow as you continued to kiss him so tenderly.

—

“I saw you and Wonwoo kissing,” Seungkwan plops down beside your figure. Your eyes momentarily winden in panic and Dino tries to pat your back as you begin to cough violently. The youngest smirks in your direction and you wanted nothing more than to punch it off his face. A couple of days since the kiss passed by and it was radio silence between you and Wonwoo. You felt like he was avoiding you and it saddened you a bit when your feelings for the guy have grown ever since you laid your eyes on him.

“No you didn’t.”

“Did to.”

“Did not!”

“Did-”

“For the love of God, we all saw this coming okay? So what if you and Wonwoo kissed. It was bound to happen anyway. You and him were just prolonging it because you’re both cowards,” Dino pushes both your bodies to the side as he stands up to grab more drinks from your fridge.

“But I think he’s avoiding me,” you finally say to the boys. The two share a knowing look before they circle around you. Dino hands you a can of sprite before gulping down his own drink.

“He’s not. Trust us,” Seungkwan starts, turning his head to look at Dino for some sort of confirmation. Dino nods, biting his lip as he continues to talk. “It’s always a difficult time for him during this time of the year.” You nod, understanding that the boys can’t disclose it with you.

“It’s okay. I trust you guys.”

Seungkwan and Dino sit on either side of you again and you lean your head on your best friend. Whatever it may be, your heart aches for Wonwoo and what he may be going through.

“Do you think I should text him tonight?” you suddenly ask the boys. The boys don’t take their eyes away from the TV but they both let out a “you should” in unison. So as soon as the two boys fall asleep on the floor, you slip out of their holds and pad your way quietly into your bedroom. You fish out your phone from your pocket and nervously hover your finger over Wonwoo’s number.

“Just call him you idiot,” you whisper quietly to yourself. You close your eyes and press his number. After a few rings on his end, he finally picks up and murmurs a soft hello.

“Hey ‘Woo! Just wanted to ask if you were doing okay,” you cheerfully ask him before laying on your bed. You count the number of glow in the dark stars you placed on your ceiling with the help of Mingyu and Wonwoo. Twelve you count but his only response was a soft cry. You clutch your pillow to your chest as he continues to sob. You don’t know how long it is until his cries die down. You finally speak when he clears his throat.

“Meet me at the park on campus?” you ask, slowly getting up.

“Okay.”

Wonwoo arrives there first, wanting to get there before you so you don’t end up alone waiting for him. He catches something small in your hand as you approach him with a smile. He wishes he could capture your smile with his camera.

“Hold out your hand,” you beam at him as you sit beside him. He hesitantly opens his hand and you softly plop a plush keyring in his hand - the one he has been eyeing since you and him passed by one of the claw machines near the science building. It makes his heart swell when you close your fingers over his and he immediately pulls you in for a hug.

“You don’t know how much comfort you brought me tonight, angel,” he whispers against your temple.

“Just glad I could help Wonwoo.”

—

Seungkwan eyes you as you rock yourself back and forth on your toes, lips pursed as you wait for your grade to be released. He removes his eyes from your figure when you wave him off, telling him to continue with his essay. He shrugs in response and you proceed to walk around your small living room in jitters. You didn’t realise your result from your last exam would come this soon but your classmate sent you a reminder and it has consumed your thoughts for the past couple of days.

“You’re starting to make me nervous yn. Is everything okay?”

You stare at your phone when an email comes in and your heart falters at your grade.

“Never been better Kwan,” you whisper, although there’s a growing lump in your throat that makes you want to cry uncontrollably.

“Hey, I’m actually gonna step out for a little bit to talk to my mom. Apparently something’s up with Nina,” you clear your throat to mask the fact that there are tears lining your eyes. Thankfully, Seungkwan doesn’t notice the change of tone in your voice and the tears glazing your eyes.

You shove your feet in your shoes and grab the closest jacket that’s hanging on the door; Wonwoo’s. You only notice that it was his when you step out of your apartment building and onto the street.

You wipe the tears away from your face and begin your walk to the store. Seungkwan requested for cans of redbull and you needed to buy some food for the both of you. As you neared the store, Mingyu spots you walking towards the entrance but he notes your swollen eyes and your wet cheeks. He jogs over to you and calls out your name.

When you hear your name being called out, you turn around to see Mingyu waving at you with a bag of groceries in his other hand. You wait for him to walk over to you and before he could even utter a word, you burst into tears. Mingyu freezes at your state but he quickly wraps his arms around your figure when you continue to sob.

“I failed an exam for one of my classes, Gyu. I really needed to get a good grade so I could bump up my GPA,” you continue to cry on his chest. You feel bad when you break away from his embrace to find his grey jacket soaked in your tears.

“How about I help you with your groceries then drive you home?” he offers, which you gladly accept with a nod.

The drive home is spent in comfortable silence. You lean your head against the window while Mingyu hums whatever tune comes into his mind. You close your eyes momentarily and your thoughts bring you back to your grade and the sleepless nights, including the ones Wonwoo accompanied you in, you spent just so you could bump up your GPA. The disappointment that was weighing down on your chest earlier on seemed to come back with every traffic light you pass by and Mingyu notices your furrowed eyebrows which prompts him to nudge you with his phone, letting you play whatever song you want. You smile at his gesture and soon enough, “Astronomy” by Conan Gray is blasting from Mingyu’s speakers. You peer outside and you notice the ground is starting to be covered in snow which makes you tap Mingyu’s shoulder in hurry.

“Did you know snow is actually translucent,” you begin, looking back at Mingyu who is eyeing the traffic lights.

“Then why is it white?” he tilts his head.

“Because of the light reflecting the snow,” you answer.

Mingyu chuckles at your words, “This is why you and Wonwoo are perfect for each other.”

“What?”

“He pulls this shit on me all the time. Whenever he remembers the randomest things he can think of, he thinks he has an obligation to tell me about them. The other day he told me how dogs release heat-”

“Through their tongues,” you finish.

“Exactly.”

“Do you think he likes me?” you question him, peering out of the window again. Mingyu huffs as he parks right outside your apartment building.

“Do you think he would go out of his way to come all the way to your apartment just to check if you’re doing okay?” he points at Wonwoo who is standing outside your apartment building with a paper bag that you recognised is from your favourite sushi place.

“How did he-”

“I texted him while you were paying for your groceries,” he winks.

You’ve never been more grateful for the people in your life. You hug Mingyu and exit his car before sprinting your way over to Wonwoo with outstretched arms. Your bodies collide with each other but he tightens his hold on you to keep you from falling.

“Your grades don’t define you, sweetheart.”

“I know.”

He hugs you more tightly when a gust of wind passes by, and he watches as Mingyu drives off with a fond smile on his face.

—

With the arrival of spring, your blossoming feelings for Wonwoo only grows. He spends the majority of his days with you in your apartment or studying in the library. When Christmas rolled in, he left a small gift for you on your coffee table before he left to visit his family. You spent your Christmas with your family and Seungkwan’s. The dinner table was filled with memories of your childhood and the occasional teasing from your best friend and his sisters about a certain dark haired boy. Your parents and your older sister join in on the teasing when Wonwoo calls you during dinner. You were left feeling heated and flustered as you quickly left the dinner table.

“Earth to yn,” Seungkwan waves a hand in front of your face to catch your attention again. You swat his hand away and continue to look at the budding tree outside the building.

“What do you want?”

“We need to plan our summer getaway,” he sucks on a hard candy and passes you the bag. You pop one into your mouth and begin to think of the possible places you could visit with your friends. An idea comes into your mind when you remember the waves of Jeju Island, your home.

“How about we bring them to Jeju this summer?” you propose, looking at Seungkwan with hopeful eyes.

“I can ask the boys. I think some of them really want to visit,” he agrees. The two of you begin to walk back to your lecture hall, the ten minute break your professor gave you earlier on was coming to an end. Before you enter the hall, you catch a glimpse of Wonwoo and another girl who has her arm looped around his. An unfamiliar feeling settles on your chest and Seungkwan notices the way your steps seem to falter. He follows your eyes in the direction they are looking at and his eyes land on Wonwoo and his project partner. He notes the way the girl drags him down with her arms and he can visibly tell how uncomfortable Wonwoo looks.

“Let’s go,” you say, grabbing Seungkwan’s arm and pulling him into the lecture hall where your professor is already starting his class again. You slip into your seat and open your laptop to begin typing some notes. Throughout the lecture, Seungkwan glances at you and how you barely pay attention to what your professor was saying. You had minimum information typed out on your laptop and Seungkwan wanted nothing more than to snap you out if it with a flick on your forehead.

When the lecture ends, you gather your belongings as fast as you could and quickly bid your best friend goodbye. Before Seungkwan leaves the lecture hall he sends his roommate a quick text about you and his hunch that you’re jealous of a certain girl who was dangling on his arm earlier on.

You move to your next class lethargically with a cup of coffee in your hand. The unfamiliar feeling is still there when you sit next to your classmate. You tried to distract yourself during your class but your mind wanders back to Wonwoo and the girl. You sigh to yourself and try to shake your thoughts away in order to focus on your lecture. Your classmate sitting beside you notices the trouble etching your face and she hands you a chocolate bar underneath the table.

“Seems like you need it more than me.” She smiles at you before returning her focus to your professor.

The class is soon over and you find yourself slowly fixing your belongings. Your classmate, Yuna, waits for you to pack your things and you both head out of the lecture hall. You were a couple of steps away from the room when you heard your name being called out and a series of footsteps coming towards you in hurry. Yuna winks at you before walking away with your other classmates. Before you could call out for her name, Wonwoo grabs your arm and pulls you away into a more secluded place.

You don’t bother breaking away from his hold, knowing Wonwoo would just take your arm again if you begin to protest. You had an inkling that Seungkwan was behind all of Wonwoo’s actions and you mentally note to give your best friend a good scolding when you see him for dinner. Wonwoo stops walking when you reach the benches near the science building and he pulls you in for a hug.

When you don’t return it, he breaks away and cups your face instead. You refuse to look at his eyes, embarrassment taking a toll on you when you realise how childish you were acting. Yes, you held hands with him and even kissed him once, but that doesn’t mean you had the right to get jealous because at the end of the day, Wonwoo was not your boyfriend.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to get jealous,” you whisper, “I have no right to be jealous.”

Wonwoo places his pointer finger under your chin and raises your head so that you are now staring at him.

“I’m sorry for being the biggest idiot in the world,” he chuckles softly and presses his forehead against your own.

“I like you..alot yn and I’d be the happiest guy in the world if you’d let me be your boyfriend?”

You can’t help the way your face heats up at his words. And you knew right then and there that you’d fallen so deeply for the man standing in front of you.

“I’ll think about it,” you tease, leaning up to peck his lips.

If only Wonwoo was able to pause this moment forever, he would have to save himself from the impending heartbreak he was about to experience.

—

Months pass by and the arrival of summer soon comes. You were much brighter. More youthful according to your peers. Even Wonwoo who was stuck to you like glue was experiencing the brightness that was etched on your face. The summer holiday the boys and you have planned was soon approaching but your focus now was on your finals that seemed to drag on for days on end. Wonwoo was cooped up in your apartment with you, not like he wasn’t on other days. He found himself spending more of his time in your apartment than he did at his house that he shared with the boys. You’ve even cleared out a section of your clothes from your closet to give his clothes some space to be stored in.

“Do you want to order food?” Wonwoo walks into your bedroom where you were studying. Wonwoo decided to study in the living room so you don’t end up distracting each other. You peek up at the clock hanging on your wall and you nod at him. He walks over to where you are sitting down and pulls you up. You furrow your eyebrows until he sits down on your chair and pulls you onto his lap.

“What do you feel like having?” he asks, circling his arms around your torso before opening his phone so that you could both scroll through the menus available. He finds himself perching his head on your shoulder while browsing through a menu.

“Anything would be nice at this point,” you reply. He continues to hum as he scrolls through more menus and you find yourself basking in the quietness surrounding the both of you. You lean your head against Wonwoo’s and close your eyes as he spots a food place that he knows you would like. He orders while you continue to rest your eyes.

“Food should be arriving in half an hour. You can take a nap ‘till then, sweetheart,” he mumbles. When Wonwoo attempts to lift you up to place you on your bed, you let out a string of whines in protest. He chuckles before seeming to understand that you were already comfortable with being on his lap.

“You get so clingy when you’re tired,” he notes.

“So?” you pout, wrapping your arms around his neck tighter as you slowly drift to sleep.

“I love you,” Wonwoo whispers when he thinks you’re fast asleep.

“I love you too.”

—

Your eyes seem to sparkle, Wonwoo notes, when you peer out through the window to bask in the beautiful waves of the sea. He likes the way your entire face brightens when you watch the little children playing on the sand and the old couples that were strolling on the beach. He doesn’t take his eyes away from you even when Seungkwan and Dino return with your orders. The duo rolls their eyes before tapping the table lightly to catch both of your attentions.

“The view is that way,” Seungkwan points at the beach, “not this way,” Dino adds, pointing in your direction. Wonwoo blushes before nudging Dino’s stomach with his elbows. You wink at your boyfriend before digging into your food. The older guys decided to stay back at the air bnb that you all rented since a handful of them were tired from staying up late the previous night.

The first few days of your trip to Jeju were spent in laughter and getting lost because of yours and Seungkwan’s sense of direction. Despite spending the majority of your lives in Jeju, you and Seungkwan still managed to confuse the directions to the destinations that you’ve visited so far.

The rest of your lunch was spent in silence and the occasional chatters from the four of you. You could tell that the boys were still a little hungover but they only decided to tag along with you because they didn’t want you to spend the day alone, especially Wonwoo.

“Can we just chill by the beach after lunch? I’m kind of tired myself,” you yawn, stretching your arms above your head. The boys nod in agreement and the duo stands up to throw your trash away. Wonwoo offers his hand out to you and you walk hand in hand towards the beach with the two boys trailing behind. Unbeknownst to the both of you, Seungkwan was taking multiple pictures of you to capture what he deemed was a “sweet moment”.

The two boys lay on some beach towels that you prepared in your bag and Wonwoo offers to tag along with you to the water. You only dip your feet in and slosh them around just to cool yourself down. Wonwoo does the same but his powerful kicks soon manage to splash water towards your body. Soon enough, you were bending down to splash water in Wonwoo’s direction.

“Stop,” he giggles, covering his face with his hands.

Seungkwan pulls out his camera again and snaps pictures of you and Wonwoo. A sense of contentment settles on his chest as he continues to watch his best friend smile because of Wonwoo. He was glad that he got to introduce you to the boys, especially Wonwoo. The two of you stop playing around when the waves crash stronger against your bodies.

“I don’t know how to swim, let’s go,” Wonwoo laughs, grabbing your hand as you run before the waves arrive. Dino and Seungkwan motions for the two of you to stop walking once you’re nearing the duo and the younger one urges Wonwoo to put his arm over your shoulder.

Dino puts his thumbs up in approval and Seungkwan begins snapping more pictures of the two of you.

“Should we give them our autographs while they’re at it?” Wonwoo whispers under his breath. You look up at Wonwoo, just before Seungkwan snaps another photo of you and him, and laugh at his words.

“Perfect!” Dino yells.

“You’re both so embarrassing,” you groan as you tug Wonwoo towards your friends when people around you start to look in your direction.

“You’re going to be thanking me and Dino in the future for these pictures,” Seungkwan states.

Little did Wonwoo know, he was indeed going to be thankful for the pictures that he could keep to remember you by.

—

“Why didn’t you tell us?” Seungcheol yells, shoving Seungkwan against the walls of the hospital. Dino attempted to hold him back but with every punch he landed on Seungkwan’s face, it was getting harder to hold back his older brother.

“I-I didn’t know,” he yells back, pushing him away with all the strength he had left. How was he supposed to know that you were greatly ill when you never told him about it either? He felt the betrayal coursing through his body and an ounce of anger settling on his chest. How could you keep things from him when he was your best friend since you were children? How was he supposed to function without you by his side?

“What happened?” Jeonghan rushes to hold Seungcheol back. The boys were lounging around the living room when they suddenly got a call from Seungkwan who was in tears. The boys couldn’t understand the words he was uttering until a nurse pulled his phone away from him to talk to Seungcheol instead.

The drive to the hospital was spent in silent tears and worries but Wonwoo remained the quietest amongst his housemates. How could he feel anything but numbness when the nurse informed them about your passing? How was he supposed to feel when you were the only source of light in his life that kept him going?

The nurse pulls the older boys aside and informs them about your past condition. Dino sobs in Mingyu’s arms while the rest are holding on to each other for support. Wonwoo continues to remain silent despite the noise that was occurring around him.

Seungkwan pulls Wonwoo into his arms when the realisation that you were never going to return to him finally dawns on him.

You were gone.

—

Final.

“You need to let the blossoms in your heart wither away Wonwoo. It’s time for you to let me go now. I'll still be your guiding light every day even when you forget your memories with me in years to come, I’ll always guide you in every way that I can,” you whisper against his skin, fingertips dancing along his cheeks.

Your feather-like touch lingers on his skin even when he wakes up from his dream. The ache that planted its way in his heart seems to lighten the moment he awakes from his sleep and he remembers every detail of your face and the smile that seemed to hold no pain or worry.

You were gone and despite knowing that you were never going to return, he feels a little lighter today.

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